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10 Things Men Don’t Do While Dating Anymore

Elaine Flowers is the co-author of "So... How Was Your Date? Dating Chronicles Of Single Men and Women" and the author of five other titles.

Why aren't men as romantic as they used to be?

Why aren't men as romantic as they used to be?

Dating Frustrations: Why Don't Guys Try Anymore?

I haven't done a lot of dating recently, but I have done my fair share over the years. So, at the risk of sounding frustrated by today's dating scene, I am going to go there. I know I share the sentiments of many women, especially those women who have had the fortunate experience, like myself, of being treated well by men.

When you've been treated well, you just can't accept the BS that goes on with today's dating scene. Things that were once taken for granted are now just memories, and sometimes those things are altogether forgotten because the nonsense seems to be the status quo.

Here is a countdown of things men don't bother with anymore:

10. Men Don’t Ask Women on Dates Anymore

They’re called “meet-ups” now. WTH? I understand that since the emergence of online dating, meeting a new person in a public place is necessary under those circumstances. No problem there. But what has happened is it has taken the place of real dating. In those instances where two people know each other, the guys are requesting to “meet” the woman at a location to “hang out” as opposed to actually picking her up to take her out.

9. Men Don’t Ask Women Out in Advance Anymore

It’s Tuesday night, and Sam rings Stephanie to catch up with her. After exchanging pleasantries for a moment, he gets to the point of his call: “There’s a new movie coming out this weekend. Would you like to check it out on Saturday?” By Friday, Steven is checking in to confirm things, and then . . . Oh, wait—that’s 1984, not 2014. Now when a guy does actually ask a girl out, there’s barely enough time for her to do the necessary date-prep work.


8. Men Don’t Take Charge of Dating Plans Anymore

There are few things more frustrating than when you finally decide to go out with a guy for dinner, and he leaves all of the decisions of where to eat up to you. Not only is he showing his lack of real interest in showing you a good time, but he’s also running the risk of you going over his budget for the evening. Besides, women love it when a man takes charge but at the same time is open to her opinion.

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7. Men Don’t Show Up at Your Door With a Gift/Token Anymore

I don’t know when this stopped, but I know it was a long time ago. Way back when, a guy would arrive to pick up his date holding something as simple as a single flower, teddy bear, or a book that she said she wanted to read. Wow . . . I don’t know if anyone does that anymore.

6. Men Don’t Work at Impressing Anymore

Something happened with the media advancement of today’s age and the need to impress women. Men now seem to be under the assumption that women are supposed to impress them. I’m sure there are many places to point the finger, but women have been tricked into thinking that they are supposed to be working at the pleasure of men in the virtual world and in real life.

What happened to men working to prove that they are worthy and capable of being with a woman? Something is definitely wrong here.

5. Men Don’t Give Meaningful Compliments Anymore

Men whistling or giving a catcall when a woman walks down the street is nothing new. But that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m referring to men ONLY taking notice of a woman’s physical attributes. And I’m not referring to locker room jargon, either. I’m talking about a man extending this nonsense onto the woman and trying to pass it off as compliments.

4. Men Don’t Ask Women to Dance Anymore

You’re at a club or even a private party, and unlike back in the day when there were couples, there are groups of women on the dance floor and men standing on the sidelines either ogling them or ignoring them altogether. Now, if a woman doesn’t ask a man to dance, she’s stuck with not dancing at all or only getting off the wall to join in on a line dance.

3. Men Don’t Buy Drinks Anymore

Not only are women not being asked to dance, men don’t offer to buy a woman a drink anymore. However, they have no problem taking up her time talking while sipping on theirs.

2. Men Don’t Make Phone Calls Anymore

I am all about modern technology but not to the chagrin of authentic communication. Texting is not a way to get to know someone. Texting is for, “I’m on my way,” “I’m running late,” not for, “What kind of work do you do?” and “Tell me about yourself.” Everyone being short on time and wanting to do things quickly has reduced us to this format of interaction, and it just doesn’t work.

1. Men Don’t Accept Rejection Anymore

I don’t know if men just don’t know how to take it, or they’ve become more sensitive than they used to be, but they seem to be terrified of rejection. And this is the reason they don’t do the things listed here anymore. There is no middle ground—you know the man who puts in the effort and work to get the woman. Instead, they either don’t try at all, or they don’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Why Don't They?

The main reason that all of these things don’t happen anymore is because women, at large, stopped requiring them. We’ve turned men into lazy daters. You could argue that a guy is just not interested when he takes the shortcuts, but I don’t think that’s it.

Even when he’s genuinely interested, he doesn’t have to call—he can text; he doesn’t have to take a woman on a real date—today’s woman is fine with the meet-up; he doesn’t have to take notice of her brains and compassion—they go unnoticed because of her blossoming cleavage and big behind. I have always declared to be a romantic while making it very clear, however, that I am not a hopeless one, but I really wish we could just go back.

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