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Why You Should Choose Someone Who Loves You More

Clair is an introvert, programmer, Leo, photographer, and writer.

Why do they say to "marry the one who loves you, not the one whom you love"?

Why do they say to "marry the one who loves you, not the one whom you love"?

"Would You Choose Someone Who Loves You or Someone You Love?"

My friend asked me this question when I was still in high school. I still remember what my answer was. I told her that I will choose the one I love because I rarely fall in love and as a hopeless romantic, I will fight for love no matter what it takes. All along, I thought that fighting for someone I love is the bravest thing to do no matter how painful things can get. I thought that once I have found love, I should dive right in and let my heart lead me.

A decade after, I'm still thinking about this question. I fell head over heels in love with a guy and fought for him until he left me for someone else. There are so many thoughts running around in my head like "Is this how love feels like?" or "Are all the sacrifices and pain really worth it?" The entire relationship feels like pushing a boat through sand. I was forcing love from someone who did not love me. I was watering a dead relationship.

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Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back

I know there are people like me who loved and lost. We all chose the person who never loved us back and we paid for it big time. We all understood that sometimes the best lessons are learned through pain. And sometimes, no matter how much we want someone badly, we cannot force someone into loving us or choosing us. Unrequited love is the worst kind of pain that anyone could feel. It feels like waiting for a train that will never come. We are hoping that someday they will wake up and realize how much they love us, but it never happened.

Why Not Love the One Who Loves You?

Have we given a thought to those people who loved us but we took for granted? Those people who cared about us, accepted and loved our flaws? Maybe the reason why we got hurt is that we're making the wrong choice. Maybe we have to choose someone who loves us more than we love them.

3 Reasons to Choose Someone Who Loves You (Not Who You Love)

It took me a lot of effort before I finally realized that choosing someone who loves me more is worthwhile, and here are my reasons.

  1. He will love everything about you. He will love everything that I hate about myself including my physical flaws, my insecurities, my fears, and my mood swings. He will be willing to learn everything about me like how I get sad, how I get mad, what are my thoughts, and many more so he could learn to love every part of me. He will love me when I cannot even love myself and teach me how to be gentle with myself and embrace my emotions.
  2. He will love you unconditionally. He will love me at my best and even at my worst. He will love me when things are great and when things are rough. He will take good care of me and will always seek my heart's best interest. He will be willing to compromise and make sacrifices.
  3. He knows your worth. He will never leave me because he needs me. He will never put himself in a position to lose me. He knows that there will never be someone like me. He won't have to lose me for him to see my importance. He will make me feel like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world.

Choosing Love

Before we think of ignoring that person who showered us attention, treated us nicely, and loved us unconditionally, think of that person who played with our hearts and took us for granted. We all deserve better than that. We deserve to be loved, cherished, and taken care of. Maybe we are not giving a chance to those who need it most.

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