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Choose Someone Who Chooses You

Clair is an introvert, programmer, Leo, photographer, and writer.

Why do they say to "marry the one who loves you, not the one whom you love"?

Why do they say to "marry the one who loves you, not the one whom you love"?

A friend of mine once asked me if I will choose the one I love over the one who loves me. I can still remember what my answer was. I told her that I will choose the one I love at any given day because I rarely fall in love and it's hard to catch feelings with someone you don't love. It is like beating yourself up so you can learn to love the other person.

Before, I thought that fighting for someone I love is the bravest thing to do no matter how painful things can get. I thought that once I have found love, I should dive right in and let my heart lead me. But based from bad experiences, this led me to series of heartbreaks.

One day while I was contemplating about my life choices and mistakes, the same question came to my mind. I have experienced choosing the one I love but it felt like pushing a boat in the sands. I lowered my self-worth so I can keep the man I loved but at the end of it, I was not able to keep him. I begged and pleaded to be chosen but I was always his safety net.

Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back

I know there are people like me who loved and lost. We all chose the person who never loved us back and we paid for it big time. We all know that sometimes the best lessons are learned through pain. And sometimes, no matter how much we want someone badly, we cannot force someone into loving us or choosing us. Unrequited love is the worst kind of pain that anyone could feel. It feels like waiting for a train that will never come. We are hoping that someday they will wake up and realize how much they love us, but it never happened.

Why Not Love the One Who Loves You?

Have we given a thought to those people who loved us but we took for granted? Those people who cared about us, accepted and loved our flaws? Maybe the reason why we got hurt is that we're making the wrong choice. Maybe we have to choose someone who loves us more than we love them.

3 Reasons to Choose Someone Who Loves You (Not Who You Love)

It took me a lot of thinking before I finally realized that choosing someone who loves me more is worthwhile, and here are my reasons why.

  1. He will love everything about you. He will love everything that you hate about yourself including your flaws, insecurities, fears, and mood swings. He will be willing to learn everything about you like what makes you sad or angry, your deepest thoughts, your greatest dreams, and your painful past so he could learn to love every part of you. He will love you even when you cannot love yourself or when you feel like a mess. He will calm all the storms in your life.
  2. He will love you unconditionally. He will love you at your best and even at your worst. He will love you when things are great and even when things are rough. He will take good care of you and will always seek your heart's best interest. He will be willing to compromise and make sacrifices as he will be afraid of losing you.
  3. He will know your worth. He will never leave you because he needs you. He will never put himself in a position to lose you. He knows that there will never be someone like you for him. He won't have to lose you for him to see your importance. He will make you feel like you are the most beautiful woman in the world and the only girl for him.
  4. He will never take you for granted. He will see you in a different light. He would not play mind games and you will know where and what you are in his life. You won't have to question his intentions and he will never give you any reason to be jealous. He will never let you sleep with a heavy heart and do everything to calm your mind.
  5. He will include you in his future plans and dreams. His future goals will involve you. He will build a life with you with the hope that you get to build a family together. It's not just sweet talks but he will make an effort towards your goals together. He will put in all the work needed to be with you. You will be his motivation and energy to keep him going.

Choosing Love

Before we think of ignoring that person who showered us attention, treated us nicely, and loved us unconditionally, think of that person who played with our hearts and took us for granted. We all deserve better than that. We deserve to be loved, cherished, and taken care of. Maybe we are not giving a chance to those who need it most. Maybe the one we are ignoring is the one meant for us.