RelationshipsPhysical IntimacyFriendshipDatingBreakupsRelationship ProblemsSocial Skills & EtiquetteGender and SexualityRelationship AdviceLoveCompatibilitySingle Life

Can You Fall in Love With Someone You've Never Met?

Updated on December 5, 2016

That's an interesting question; however, the answer to that question is not as apparent or straightforward. I can entirely see how you can fall in love with someone you've never met. If you are friends with someone on the Internet and chat with them on messenger programs, for example, you would know what I am talking about. Although, personally, I haven't fallen in love online with anyone, I have felt connected in some ways to people whom I have never met face-to-face.

People generally get attracted to each other based on common ideas, common outlook towards life, common value systems, and similar views on important issues. If you happen to know someone over the Internet, you can sometimes feel connected if your views match theirs. Also, you might like their sense of humor — this does come through no matter what the medium, whether it's speech, chat, or text. So, face-to-face contact isn't as essential in knowing the other person. One can even argue that not having face-to-face contact can have certain advantages. You may not judge the other person for their physical looks per se, but may get in touch with them on a deeper emotional level.Consequently, I would think you could theoretically fall in love with someone you've never met in person.

But, could such a love stand the test of time? Would such a love overcome the potentially high expectations generated by an online or virtual personality? Certain personality traits may not be visible or apparent in the online domain. Would such a love, then, be able to come to terms with the reality of physical imperfections or deficiencies? These are important questions to consider when one falls in love over the Internet, via the phone, or any other medium where the two lovers can't meet face to face.

Source

Loving Someone You Haven't Met — Living a Fantasy?

Physical Attraction When Meeting Face-to-Face

Assuming that a couple has met over the Internet or over the phone, the more interesting thing that I'd like to know is: what would be their reaction when they do in fact meet in person for the first time. You may like their thoughts/views on various subjects and like the online person you've met, but what if the person turns out to be, well, not as attractive physically when you first meet them. Can you overlook that fact and love them the same way as you did before you met?

Even though most people say (to be politically correct more than anything else) that outward beauty doesn't matter to them, generally most people value beauty in a potential partner. So, while it is possible that you can fall in love with someone you've never met in person, it is not as possible to predict whether you would in fact remain in love with that person once you've met them, especially if that person turns out to be not so attractive (based on your standards of attractiveness).

Also, when you do in fact meet a person face-to-face, you may discover many things about him/her that you hadn't quite anticipated. Perhaps, he/she has some embarrassing habits that you hadn't quite anticipated, or perhaps he/she has some irritating quality that wasn't apparent to you before through his/her online persona. So, while you can fall in love with someone you've never met, whether you stay in love with that person is quite another matter.

Discovering Their True Identity

There is also the potential problem of anonymity and people who mask their true identities online. You may have very good, honest, genuine intentions and want real love, but can you be really sure that the other person with whom you are chatting to or speaking with shares those intentions? For all you know, the other person may be twice the age he/she actually claims to be, he/she may be married and claim to be single, they may be showing you pictures of someone else but may claim that the person in the picture is in fact them. How can you be sure?

The online world is a world of escape for some people and many just come online to live a world they can't live in the real world. So, they may just log in and claim to be someone who they are not, but you have no way of knowing that. To me, this is the biggest problem that a person who connects with another person online faces.

So, while you may fall in love with someone you've never met physically (and it is quite possible), the more important question that you should be asking is if you truly have fallen in love with a real person (who exists in the real world) or an online mirage that's a figment of someone's imagination — someone who is just in it for the fun of it, maybe just to find someone to get physical with, or someone who is not as serious about finding love as you are?

Flirting on Social Media: Avoid Falling for the Wrong Person

A lot of heartbreak can be avoided if during the initial stages of a potential online relationship you insist on seeing the person you are chatting with on cam, rather than settle for pictures, which may be of anyone and not necessarily of the person who is chatting with you. Also, look out for avoidance behavior, like committing to something that may expose their true identity and then backing out repeatedly. For example, if the person you are chatting to is repeatedly promising to meet up with you or cam and then avoids it, there may be a strong possibility that they have something to hide — something they do not want you to find out about them. Maybe that "something" is that they are not really who they've been projecting to you on chat.

Conclusion

So, hope for the best, but expect the worst to save yourself some heartbreak. Online love does happen and has happened for many, but so have online heartbreaks, and I certainly don't want you to join the ranks of the heartbroken ones.

Have you fallen in love with someone you've never met? If so, I'd like to hear. Feel free to share your experiences by leaving a comment below, as countless others have!

© 2009 Shil1978

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Truth Is 3 days ago

      Love was very real in the old days since it was very easy to find, today unfortunately a very different story.

    • profile image

      my love 2 weeks ago

      I have met this guy when i was 14 . we met on omega and he fell in love with me . we have never seen each other live tho. Now I'm 19 and still love him. the power is love is just so so strong , i can't even explain. we have different religion which is obstacle for us to get married. I'm still waiting for him. Love you .

    • profile image

      Jaz Lynn Rivera 2 weeks ago

      So, I've met this guy online in Skout. We have the same hobbies other than him being into street magic. I really was attracted to him. He's from France, I'm from the Philippines. It's just so hard for me to see him because I'm 23 and he's 22. We're not capable yet. We don't have enough money to pay for travel expenses. But I can see his hopes and dreams for the future. He told me "You're the person that I'm looking forward to see one day" and that hits me. I tell myself that I should keep this guy. But yeah still having doubts about it since it's long distance and I wish we can see each other one day.

    • profile image

      Chidinma Samuel 4 weeks ago

      I have been dreaming about a famous Nollywood actor and we haven't met before. I see him constantly in my dreams and can't explain it.

    • profile image

      Dee 5 weeks ago

      I'm Dee 25 years of age I met a girl 3months ago on Facebook and I'm falling in love with the girl which I have met and she what's as to meet and I'm in UAE and she iz in africa and I'm biz working. I'm asking for your help cause if I go in to africa I will lsse my job nd I love the girl

    • profile image

      Valerie 6 weeks ago

      Yeah, I met a guy on facebook, I love him so much. He was my everything. But the problem started when another guy started disturbing me and I had a crush on him. My online boyfriend saw our messages and broke up with me. I don't really like that my crush but my boyfriend didn't believe me. I'm feeling so bad and I'm blaming myself for breaking such a wonderful relationship between us. Pls help me, my heart is breaking into bits and pieces.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 6 weeks ago

      I'm 15 I met a girl online we have been chatting like six hours everyday since she's 16 I'm waiting till next year when I finish my GCSEs and I'm 16 so I can fly down south (england) I'm north I have her on all social media's and it's apparent she is not a catfish as all her friends are from her city and comment on her post I have seen pics of her from many angles and she has sent pictured verifying who she is.

    • profile image

      Patrick 7 weeks ago

      Thank you

    • profile image

      Mira 7 weeks ago

      i felt in love with someone i've never met and it's so true and he is amazing person even more than everyone i met he loves me back and we r so happy to gether to a point where he can be the love of my life and he has nothing to be susbect about so all i want it to say that it is possible to find the person that you waited for an the internet but like u said it's not all the time you can also have a heart break so every one should be safe

    • profile image

      A guy 7 weeks ago

      I didnt think it was a possibility..but I have totally fallen for this girl I met gaming online. We have seen eachother on video chat and pics so its no catfish situation. I think she feels the same but I'm not sure and I'm terrified she will back away if I bring it up seriously. We've "joked" about visiting eachother, I think because we both want to, but know it is unlikely because we are in different countries and quite far apart. I've never felt this way about a girl before; even girls I had real relationships with. Her personality is a 100% match for me which is the most important thing and shes pretty. I don't know what do do and its tearing me up inside pretty bad. Im becoming depressed the more I think about it and how we'll probably never even meet.

    • profile image

      Abdul 8 weeks ago

      I have fallen in love with a girl that I haven't met before but is friends with my friend but just end up chatting to her on whatsapp plz tell me what I should do thanks

    • profile image

      Anonymous 2 months ago

      Yes, I have seen him and he is fatter than what his old picture looks like. And I don't care.

    • profile image

      UniStar 2 months ago

      Hi, I am a 23 year old woman now and I met this chatmate of mine when I was 20 he was 2 years younger than me. Definitely, he is still in the ‘playing’ stage of relationships. He told me that he wants to meet me and would go to the hotel where me and my family are staying at in Vegas. The catch was…I do not know where my dad kept the hotel card and since that it’s our 1st time to have our vacation in USA, Las Vegas, I still fear for my safety. So I let the chance slip off of me in seeing him physically. He kept on asking me when I’m coming back to Vegas and soon enough, I told him that I can’t come back in an instant because of the load of hardships I am experiencing right now and told him I was attracted to him (even if I do not know if he’s attracted to me too). It’s nice to know that he understands but I cry about the chance that I lost of meeting him and he's my 1st attractive male who treated me like any girl around (because I was once bullied by my own crush). We did vid chat and saw my photos in Instagram he definitely saw my imperfections because I'm wearing glasses with pimple marks and yup you name it I am chubby.

      I told my friends and office mates about this, they told me not to cry or about this because I chose not to see him for the sake of my own security and at least before all these ended I was able to tell him that I am so attracted to him and he's attracted himself too.

    • profile image

      John 2 months ago

      Fell in love with a great women at 19.met her on myspace lol its been 10 years and we still talk and both still feel the same way we did 10 years ago..shes in med school naw and i sacrificed my 20s for a good cause.id say find someone who trys to make you a better women/man and knows how to structure a family otherwise dont waste your time....but i do plan on having a family with her someday forsuuuuure

    • profile image

      Reid 2 months ago

      Yes, i agree for safer one do not go further chatting if you do not see him on cam because for sure he is not the one on his profile pic. I am in a long distance relationship now...this fiance of mine i requested him to show me on cam before we go on regular chatting and right then and there he sign up an app which i suggested for privacy reason and to have a quality chatting. Since we meet a year ago he never missed to communicate with...we are together for one year and 5 months and hopelfully we meet before end of this year. No expectations but have faith in God in his perfect time. We fight a lot..many times break and make up again..amazing until now we are still together and i believe because of real love...though we have not meet...but in our hearts we are connected which is the most important thing. Love is boundless...if it is real. No time and distance but needs a lot of effort to survive...both of us never give up..even we are just in virtual relationship.

    • profile image

      Charlie strange 2 months ago

      Hi, I met this girl on omegal who I seemed to feel a good connection with. We have enjoyable talks and video calls and we have both expressed that we like each other and hope to meet one day. But I think I've fallen for her. And she feels the same way. But she wants me to try and find other girls because she wants to live a normal high school life, which could mean she'd meet other boys, because if I was single shed would just still want to be with me. That hurt's. Knowing that I can't do anything about this. We really want to meet but I don't know when or how. Any help?

    • Shil1978 profile image
      Author

      Shil1978 2 months ago

      So incredibly sad, Carol :( Speechless!

    • profile image

      carol whiteman 3 months ago

      Here's a story unlike any. My husb died in 1999. I then met a man whose wife had died one year earlier by the same disease,lung cancer. We met in a mourning chatroom ONLINE. We have been emailing each other right up until now, 2017. We have been friends for 18 years. We never told each other that we were in love with each other until recently when he was diagnosed with the same disease. We have never met. Move over William Shakespeare for this is a stronger and more tragic romance than Romeo and Juliet. Due to his illness and circumstances in my life, we can never meet. We also live on opposite sides of the United States.

    • profile image

      NEO 3 months ago

      Add Your Comment.. Hi, i have been friends with someone on line ,we shared the word of God daily and even discuss some personal issues, i started falling for him so we both decided to be in a relationship. its been five four years now and um deeply in love with this guy but the problem is that he is very very far from my country so he wants us to meet. lately he has been telling me that there is some challenges regarding visa to come to my country. could he be telling the truth or he is just giving me false hope?

    • profile image

      C. 3 months ago

      Hi.

      My friend introduced me to a friend over Messenger (and we've followed each other on Instagram since then, so it's not like we don't know how each other look), not in the intention of propping up a relationship, but just being the fun person he is. In the meantime, we're both heading into our junior year in high school and, ironically, this upcoming school year she will be moving away from the school in which we've been attending for the past two years (sadly, I didn't get to know her then). Nevertheless, we've been taking for a cool week now and I really think I'm falling for her...we've talked a lot about our lives, who we are, what we want to achieve..things of that nature and I really like her. Is there any possibility that things could escalate, albeit slowly, if anything? Could I just be feeling a certain way simply because she's a girl and we've talked about deep things? What are the signs that she may feel the same way? If I feel more "in love" say six months or a year from now, should I express this to her?

      Thanks,

      C.

    • profile image

      D. 3 months ago

      I recently started talking to this girl and we have been talk over a week, and I am pretty sure I am falling for her, this scares her so much and she will back off if I tell her this. I am a educated individual and because of this I am having a hard time with what I am feeling for someone who I have never touched or even walked beside. Any suggestions?

      Thanks,

      D.

    • profile image

      Love 3 months ago

      I met a guy online last may.we chatted for couple of days on the app soon.He gave his Facebook account and I friended him..I waited for him to txt first and he did..We've been sending txt messages for a couple of days.asking details of each other.He was very honest he told me all about his family, the ups and down of his life. So I gave him positive advices.He wrote on his profile was he wanted a girl 40km near him.i am living in different country he was 12 hours behind our time.soon he ask me to be his gf before and said before anyone else does.And I said yes.things happened so very fast and I always ask him why was he not bothered that across his country .It's been almost a month ..We haven't met and I can say things are going smooth and I get to know him every day and in all fairness we are both working it out and find time to talk and reaching out.i don't know until when is this somehow Im confused and ask myself if is it really possible to fall in love with a person you have not met.And I found this site. Science will tell you answers about this question majority telling it's not possible but at the end of the day I think only those who are in the situation could answer those questions.i think it differs to every person because every person has different views and beliefs that they believe in.

    • Shil1978 profile image
      Author

      Shil1978 3 months ago

      @ "The Truth Is" - I totally get the nostalgia :) Yes, things aren't the same anymore. Anyone write romantic poems and love letters anymore? I'd be surprised if they did in these times.

      Even online interactions seem to have diminished in their depth and intensity. Maybe people just don't have the patience anymore to devote to things of the heart. Sad!

      There's no time machine, is there? I'm sure you would have appreciated that :) Hope you find your soulmate soon!

    • Shil1978 profile image
      Author

      Shil1978 3 months ago

      Feel for you, Dan, but nothing is gonna happen with this relationship unless she has the same intensity of feelings you obviously have. Maybe she's not sure in her head what she wants at this point in time and things may clear up in her mind in the future.

      Give it time and hope for the best. The one thing you shouldn't be doing is to insist on meeting or make her feel like you are forcing her in any way.

      Being patient and hoping she can resolve things in her mind and feel the same way as you do is your only chance.

    • profile image

      The Truth Is 3 months ago

      The truth is that meeting someone Online is very extremely difficult these days as bad as it is in the Bars which Most of the time it doesn't work out for many of us at all unfortunately. But many people are very Blessed since they really do meet someone that they just happen to connect with. And it is very difficult for many of us good men out there really looking for a good woman to really connect with since today is a totally different time that we live in compared to the Past which was certainly much easier finding real love back then. The good old days were really much easier for our family members since they were very extremely fortunate to be born at that time which as you can see that it did really work out for them which unfortunately today is a very different story altogether. It was just too very bad for many of us men that we weren't born in those days since many of us definitely would've met the Right Good Woman for us which many of us that really wanted to get married and have a family would've been all settled down ourselves as well.

    • profile image

      Dan 3 months ago

      I recently befriended a woman I sort of knew in high school. I was a senior, she was a freshman. Her mom worked as a lunch lady and always wanted me to date her daughter, Grace. I wasn't allowed because of religious views on the part of my parents. So she finally made it in Facebook and I friended her as soon as I saw her on there. I'm divorced for the second time, by the way. So we started messaging each other. She has a boyfriend of 4 years. Doesn't sound like she's going anywhere with him nor is she going to break up with him. But, she tells me I'm her angel and we are best friends. We talk on the phone everyday sometimes twice a day. We have told each other things that we have never, ever shared with anyone. I know we have feelings for each other but I think mine are stronger. We live an hour apart and she doesn't want to meet up. UGH!!! I have fallen in love with her. What to do. I know that we are soulmates. I think she knows it too. I'm not really interested in dating anyone else because I'm carrying this torch for Grace. I could be, and I have but it doesn't feel right. HELP!!!

    • profile image

      Raj 4 months ago

      I have been chatting with this girl/girls on Twitter for the last 7-8 years. I just love the way she writes Tweets. Since I don't have any other girl so I feel good connection with her. But I never met her in real life. We both think that this is true love. But how can I prove to anyone or make any decision without seeing her in person. Any suggestions??

    • Shil1978 profile image
      Author

      Shil1978 4 months ago

      @ GirlfromIndia,

      You say "I am holding myself back from feeling anything because I haven't met him." This obviously means that meeting him is important to you. That being so, what is the possibility of that happening since you live in different countries. It is not possible for everyone to just hop on a plane and go meet the other person. You also have to trust this person very much to think of doing so.

      When you say "Should I hold myself back?" - are you really? Feelings really can't be blocked consciously, and if you do feel something for him, you'd already know it in your mind. So do you feel something already? And is that something strong enough and deep enough to qualify as love? That answer is known to you and only you.

      Online relationships are very complex and one can't give definitive advice because there are so many factors. For the moment, I would just advise you to continue the friendship and find how things develop over time.

      Especially, when love transcends geographical boundaries, you have to be very careful about what you're getting into and careful in knowing you can trust the person implicitly.

    • profile image

      Ciel❤️ 4 months ago

      I fell in love with someone I never met face to face but we don't know what each other look like but we kinda feel in love with each other's personalitys. We live pretty far apart from each other to, but we do like calling each other and chatting in group hangouts online, and playing video games together. We both plan on Skyping some time in the future. Even though we don't know each other in real life we both still love each other not for the looks but for are personality. It is every possible to fall for someone you never met, but you still need to be careful because you could end up talking to someone that has bad intentions.

    • profile image

      GirlfromIndia 4 months ago

      Hey! So I see a lot of people here asking for advices and the authors giving pretty sensible and useful advices. This made me want to take a chance and ask for an advice. So I met this guy online almost a year ago and have been texting and talking over the phone since. Almost everyday! It was all going great. I always thought of him as a good friend and nothing else. I thought he felt the same way. We even discussed about our crushes with each other and suggested what could be done. Just what really good friends do. We haven't met as we live in different countries. I never once felt anything more than friendship for him in the first few months of talking. A few months back, while talking over the phone, the guy (let's call him A) confessed that he has feelings for me. This came as a complete shock to me as I had never once suspected he was attracted to me. By this time we had been talking for over 6 months and I knew he was a nice and a genuine person. I, on the other hand thought it's stupid to fall for someone you haven't physically met and thus even if I did have feelings for him ( I am still mot sure if I do) I denied that to him and myself. I was sure I don't want to get involved with anyone in a romantic way unless I have met him. I loved talking to him and I would wait for his messages. But that doesn't mean I have feelings for him right? I told him so. I told him I don't feel the way he does and that the fact we haven't met doesn't make it any better. But I wasn't sure if I felt the same way or I didn't. At that point I was pretty sure I would have said a yes if I would have met him before he confessed. After me rejecting him, he said it was all okay and that he understands. Our conversations became a bit awkward and finally stopped. We hadn't stopped talking since we started almost 6 momths ago. We would always jump from one topic to another and there seemed to be no end to the conversation and then it suddenly stopped. For about a month. I tried messaging him once but the awkward and somewhat cold replies made me stop. I kinda missed talking to him and kinda missed him too. But that doesn't mean I have feelings for him right? About a month later, 'A' messaged me and it all started agin. We were back to being friends, back to square one. Nothing awkward or weird. But then recently, two days ago, I came home kinda drunk and called 'A'. We were talking and I was apologising for rejecting him. He asked me if I ever had feelings for him, he knew the answer would be no and was expecting nothing else but I went on and said 'I don't know'. Which obviously left him confused. People do usually say the truth when they're drunk right? He provoked me to say NO but I held my stand and kept saying 'I don't know'. Next day he just took it as a drunken stupid thing that I said and was pretty normal. But this entire incident left me wondering about my feelings towards him. Honestly I am not sure what I feel. Whenever I think about it the only reason I can think of that made me say NO or is holding me back is that we haven't met. I am holding myself back from feeling anything because I haven't met him. Is that the right thing to do? Should I hold myself back? Or just go ahead with what my heart sometimes feel? I am very confused about my own feelings and the 'we haven't met yet' factor makes it all the more difficult. Please some advice that might help me figure things out?

    • profile image

      Moonshine 4 months ago

      I feel for this guy and he fell for me. We live in two different countries. Both of us are broke college students so meeting each other wont happen for awhile. We have been dating for 3 months now and I have no complaints about him. We text, talk on the phone, and video chat when the weather isnt messing up the signal. I am 24 and he is 22. Our parents know about it so this is definitely real. He is my best friend. We wish we could meet each other within two years of our relationship . But both of us are patient enough to wait. We would rather build a strong relationahip before it becomes physical. We both also know that we are perfect for each other and we wont let 6, 400 miles get in the way.

    • profile image

      Liah 4 months ago

      Yeah, I am in love with someone that I've never physically met. But I know for a fact he is who claims to be. I've Skype with him. He's an amazing person and we have lots of things in common. But sometimes I do doubt what we have , we are still friends but we love eachother. He hasn't asked me out, because he says he wants to ask me in person, but it's so hard to wait and be patient , but I know it's worth.

    • profile image

      Cashie 4 months ago

      I say yes. I know he's real. I love his soul and that's all that matter. I don't care about his looks, his scars, and his flaws. I am brave enough to accept him as much as he believes in me. I know that we can make it. You know love is not all about physical bond, it's all about patience and willingness to work out. Your soul will know.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 4 months ago

      I pretended to be someone else's face. I know that sounds crazy but it was just for fun to check out how tinder works. Until a guy messaged me and we talked over the phone and we instantly clicked. All interests, hobbies and even passion is exactly the same and I really felt we were compatible. He told me that he really liked me and liked me for my personality and not only the looks (which was someone else's) But then I knew what I was doing is wrong so I admitted to him who I really was and apologized for everything and that if he'd give me a chance, i can still prove myself and can love him unconditionally and make all the efforts that I could give. And he turned me down BECAUSE of what I've done and my looks.

      I knew I was wrong and this was my punishment. It hurts because I've already become attached to him and now there is nothing i can do to save it. :(

    • profile image

      Yeagerp51 4 months ago

      I was on a spiritual high and decided to start reaching out to people in my church community on a global level. Somewhere in the middle of all this, I discovered my girlfriend. That was in July of 2015. We were planning on meeting in September but it has been changed to December due to her job. She is a domestic worker in Hong Kong. Her homeland is Quezon City, Philappines.

      Her primary reason for this thankless job is to put her 2 kids through college. Her day starts at 6 am until 10 pm. We have been video chatting since we met and it has been an exciting relationship. I have got to watch her while she works. With everything we have shared with each other I fell in love with her several months after day one. I told her that when we lay eyes on each other at the airport in December we will either run to each other or jump in to the air out of shock, scream and run the other direction. Hahaha.

      All I can say is that my life has been more exciting since we started video chatting. We feel as though we love each other and tell each other everyday. But we are both mature enough to know that sooner or later we all come down from the clouds and the realities of life are looking at us in the face. This is where real love is developed. Love sets us up for the next plateau. Sadly, this is where most couples get into trouble.

    • profile image

      Emily 5 months ago

      I fell in love with someone I met through chat,we live from 2 diff countries..we been chatting for few wks now,at first I like to chat with him because he was very goodlooking and nice,we send pics almost everyday and he also found me pretty.I began to fall for him when he told me its ok If I dont want to send him naughty pictures because he dont want to pressure me, he felt that im not that type of girl,he ask if its ok if we talk because he wants to get to know me better,he said that he wanted to see me and talk to me but I keep cancelling our Skype dates because im afraid that he wouldn't find me pretty or sexy enough.but since yesterday he started to be cold,he no longer replies my messages ryt away eventhough he seen them,and doesnt want to have conversation anymore,he only replies with few words.,im really feeling so down right now,even for a short period of time he made me feel very special,he compliments me and respects me alot..he always tells me that he wanted me to be with him,its like an instant connection then suddenly its gone,.Im really having a hard time gettin over him,its like im losing it,I cant imagine him talking to another girl.im really heartbroken right now.

    • profile image

      CESAR M. 5 months ago

      Hi I'm new in this love thing. I lost my girlfriend n best friend of 17 yrs to suicide just last year. It still hurts to know that she left with out saying bye. She showed me what love really feels like i thank her 4 that. I been looking online 4 love n i fell 4 this person that felt so real she emailed me. She sent me pictures n she was a russian girl. After she said she had to go to the north of russia to work n collect $ to pay 4 her trip to come to me. Well i checked n research her pictures n name n i found this girl named different but had some off the pictures i had. N they told me that they had no cell to call me n this person i found did have one n had been posting recent pictures n videos. But now my heart is deeply in love with the image of the girl i found. I can't help it but i feel i would love to meet that girl even if it's not the person that email me. Why do i feel i need to meet her even if i know it's not her. Does any one know where i can find a real connection with people that are truly looking 4 real love. I feel i can offer true love n real love but I'm kinda scare to meet girls in person cause i don't know how to approach them. Online i feel more comfortable n open to meet cause i can communicate then it be easier to meet them. Any suggestions 4 a hopeless romantic?

    • profile image

      Lover 5 months ago

      I have fallen in love with a girl online and we have never met. She have showed me pictures of another girl for past 1.5 years. And I know this since then because I understand that she might have some problems exposing her identity. I know I sound very stupid. But still I love her. And I hope that she would realise this and will agree to meet me and show her real identity soon.

    • Shil1978 profile image
      Author

      Shil1978 5 months ago

      Hi Kaye,

      I feel for you and it's really unfair what you've had to go through. Please do step back and try to understand why he may be shutting you down. As far as I can see, the only reason that comes to mind is that, for him, it was only meant to be online. Maybe he needed someone to chat with and engage himself and play a persona (he might be a totally different person in real than who he may be trying to potray).

      Maybe he's married or in a relationship and knows that he can't pursue anything with you in real. Please do understand that there is no future in this relationship. You are only hurting yourself more by getting stuck.

      I would advise you to seriously consider moving on and that would include you cutting yourself off from this guy yourself. I don't see anything good coming out of it for you.

      Hope you can get over this. All the best, Kaye!

    • profile image

      Kaye 5 months ago

      I'm falling for a person who I haven't met and never heard his voice before... I have told him several times about my intentions and I'm willig to accept him for whoever he is... He keeps on shutting me out but knowing how persistent I am, I keep on pushing myself to him... We haven't talked for days now since he already bid his goodbye to me but it only proved that my feelings towards him keeps on nourishing which I know is a bad sign for myself... I am very willing to take all the risks involve and this situation is making the craziest me ever... I am crying like hell and I keep on pulling myself up even if I know that I keep on drowning myself to him... He hasn't blocked me in fb and it hurts because even if I want to message him or aend him a video or anything,I'm afraid tht it might trigger something bad that will break me into pieces... I badly need help

    • profile image

      Mrs secret 5 months ago

      I been chatting to a guy online for weeks he seems genuine a lovely guy he now noy friends on Facebook and instagram we chat for hours about our lives and what we do I am just dying to meet him but he lives in different city we both work so it seems it going to be impossible to meet please tell me why and how I can get around this situation I am getting to like him a lot

    • profile image

      Ceecee 5 months ago

      I met a guy online several months ago and we've been talking everyday (with the occasional FT) since. I think I love him and we just started a relationship and hope to meet irl soon... I hope that it happens but I'm also scared that it may not work out... I hope it does though... I've never felt this way about anyone else before.

    • profile image

      Debora 6 months ago

      Yes I have but I want to meet him but I have my doubts because it's always about having sex so that makes me scared so I see no future what should I do

    • profile image

      Sem 6 months ago

      I started speaking to a girl few month ago and to this day we still haven't met but we talk all day and till late evening over video call and texts we both fell In love and I'm planning to go see her this month it's crazy we can talk for hours and never be bored we can just stare at each other and one of just has to smile and the other smiles back its crazy I never thought I'd fall for someone I'd never met but it's magical but crazy I miss her when she's busy although she will still text but not much if she's working I can say it's not just looks I've fell for her it's the way she is and the way she makes me feel we've often spoken of a future which gives me hope it's going to work out

    • profile image

      qwe 6 months ago

      I am talking to the guy since 4 months, online and we were so close in the beginning. We were falling for each other and we were also concerned of our future.Though the time period was short to fall in love I really fall for him and now I don't know if he feels the same or not. I everytime get hurt if he doesn't text me and I am not sure of our future as we are too far from each other and chances of meeting is very low.I don't know what kind of love is this.Neither I can stay without talking to him nor there is any way to move this relation forward. I feel like I am hurting myself.

    • profile image

      Avk 6 months ago

      I met him on Facebook 5 years ago. It's been four years since our relationship started. We are planning to meet very soon for very first time. I love him to every bits.

    • profile image

      Metalbabe 6 months ago

      I met him on fb cause he added me a month ago. We have the same taste of music and he's in a band! We compliment each other and he's so sweet but when I told him I like him he thought I was just messing up with him cause he said I'm too attractive for him. He likes my inner and outer beauty

    • profile image

      nameless gal 6 months ago

      I starting talking to someone I started talking to someone i met on social media and at first i had my doubts. as we got to know one another more, we grew close and started to fall for one another. You think to yourself "this could never happen to me". after we both confessed our feelings for each other (after about a year and half of talking) we finally met in person....

      it turned out to be one of the most magical things to happen to me. The connection we felt turned out to be real. it wasn't awkward or weird. It was fun and we fell even more in love.

      I didnt go into detail here, but the truth is you CAN fall in love online. Will it always work? Maybe not.... but it did for me. I encourage people to explore their options. Be careful of course!

      but keep an open mind. I never imagined the man of dreams would be some cute guy that messaged me on social media....

      now we are planning a life together! you never know what a simply Hello :) can lead to!

    • profile image

      Tracy 7 months ago

      Okay so almost a year ago this guy messaged me on social media because he was promoting ticket sales to a festival, and we actually ended up talking a good bit. I began to notice how funny he was and how we shared a lot of the same things, and I honesty just enjoyed tf out of our conversations bc they were hilarious!

      He finally asked for my number and we started texting a lot. But it wasn't the kind of text I was always waiting on, we could go a few weeks without talking and pick right back up where we were.

      A few months past an s I finally saw him in person (we were both drunk) Ansley I saw him across the field and I was like omg that's him. It was so weird.

      But there was nothing awk about it you know??

      Anyway, we still kept in touch like normal and we're always wanting to know what the next move was, wheather it was a concert or a festival, we always asked each other where the other was headed.

      There were never any real feelings but I definitely felt a connection with this guy

    • profile image

      Civilian 7 months ago

      I decided to find a prison penpal. I dont really know why, something just felt right about it. I've been talking with another female through the email system they have for inmates. And we exchange letters through snail mail. I dont know if Im actually IN LOVE with her yet, but I do love her.

      Im not asking for judgement on the fact that shes an inmate. I know that that means shes committed a crime.

      But as for opinions and/or advice.. Could it possibly last? The paranoia inside me, worries that I'm only someone to temporarily entertain her. But my heart says shes actually into me too, and it could be something once shes back out in the world.

    • profile image

      Paul 7 months ago

      I met a wonderful woman on Xbox Live I'm married and my marriage is falling apart. That has nothing to do with my marriage falling apart it's been doing that for a while. I love the woman I'm with online and she loves me to knowing that I'm taken at the moment. She's waiting for me patiently I've never even seen a picture of her. Odd

    • profile image

      Anonymous 7 months ago

      Ok, what about falling in love with a online Celebrity that only said a few words to you, you got all crazy over them and messaged them your feelings, fantasy's, whole life story, and your everyday happenings and you have been doing this for a couple of years and said person never responded, intact they have been ignoring you the whole time? But you feel a strong connection to said person and only feel love towards them and anyone else that's says otherwise can f off. What about that kind of situation?

    • profile image

      Gwendolyni 7 months ago

      I have been talking in phone with this guy for 6 weeks and I get tingly sensation hearing him talk

    • profile image

      joanne 7 months ago

      I'm in australia and chatting with a guy from the UK. We tell each other we love each other. He says he is planning on coming out and wants to marry me. We talk on the phone everyday and he knows what I look like. I don't know what he looks like yet as he has an issue with photos. I just want to know if there is any physical attraction. I'm scared I won't stay in love when i do see him. How could I break that to him?? I told him today that I need more from him as he has my photos and I want to be able to have a physical connection with him. We'll see.

    • profile image

      Dustin 7 months ago

      Im 18 years old and I've been talking to this girl for almost 2 years now and I love her. We didn't meet in person until my close to my 18th birthday,but even when we did meet my feelings didnt change. Actually I love her more now.

    • profile image

      Nik 7 months ago

      I met a girl, we have been talking for a while. I love her, i told her and she said she wasnt ready. Exlplained her story. I waited got to flirting told her she will always be my friend. Now she is opening up to me and says she loves me now. We are to meet this October... i am so excited i am crazy for her. XD

    • profile image

      ayab 7 months ago

      I met this guy on a dating site last week and we immediately got to exchanging emails. We both felt a deep connection as we exchanged emails everyday. We are both in separate sides of the world. But as I tried to find answers to these "feelings" I also got to reading about scams which started planting doubt as I start identifying red flags or putting more meaning into what isn't there.

      I am not sure if I am just being paranoid or having some trust issues. I just don't want to fall prey to scams esp with the history I had with my ex with the lies and deceit.

      Do I continue talking to him or just stay away. Some people say go with your instincts... My instincts are conflicted.

    • profile image

      nAMCY 7 months ago

      HI im getting married to the love of my life who imet over the internet 8th years ago an who i never met in person also moving across country to start our new life.

    • profile image

      blue 7 months ago

      i am currently in love with the man i meet online. we chatted for 5 months now, and he never let me feel unwanted. even we both have work and specially him, he is so busy, he always makes time for me. If he have free time he calls or chat me. And in evening we do video calls. We're both planning to meet eachother but time doesn't allow and specially the country that were in. But, now we're both enjoying each other and if we will see eachother personally he said we will love eachother more since we can endure our current situation how much more if were together.

    • profile image

      Dan 7 months ago

      Good article. I met a much younger lady online and I know that we really love each other. Her messages are so awesome!

    • profile image

      Andrea 8 months ago

      I was in a very abusive relationship when I suddenly came into online contact with the man I can't stop thinking of today. It was about three years ago when he first messaged me through an online dating account. Sad to say I was on there looking for a possible replacement or motivation to get out of the current situation I was in. At that point in time it was about 7 years into my abusive relationship when I met (let's call him Jon) online. Naturally I am very anti social and uncomfortable meeting men due to lack of trust. Immediately I trusted him because of our common ethnic background. He was flirtatious at the beginning when I immediately let him know I was still involved with my previous bf and was just interested in being friends (silly considering I met him through an online dating profile) yet still he agreed to be friends. I have to admit his appearance is not what I was interested in because I am not vain or shallow, I knew he was cute enough to date anyone he'd like but I was more interested in his personality. After some lurking on my end (again immature I know) I came to realize I loved his mind. Everything then suddenly changed and I was unbelievably attracted to him. I immediately let him know of my new found feelings and he shut me down insisting he wasn't looking for anything except a friend. Because of my hard headed stubborn ways, and the fact that I have never met anyone that could steal my interest in a very long time, I was reluctant to accept that he was no longer interested in me in a romantic way. I made numerous attempts to have conversations with him because I couldn't bare the idea of him not recognizing how much we had in common. During this time I was still involved with my abusive ex until not long after I got the courage to leave him because I could no longer allow anyone to hold to me while having thoughts of Jon in my head. Although I was disappointed that Jon hadn't asked me out immediately after finding out I was completely over and done with my ex, I still carried on an off and on online communication with him. After almost two years had gone by he expressed more of himself to me and I was undoubtably in love. The slightest things he would say, I had only dreamed of the perfect man to say without even knowing this was what I longed for. His smart remarks were intriguing and his humour was refreshing to an introvert like me. His imaginative mind brought out a side of me I had only dreamed of but knew existed. My fantasies were finally about to come to life and I was overwhelmed with this uncontrollable desire to want to share myself with him. Our occasional conversations grew trust bit by bit but not enough for him to see me yet. I wasn't sure why until I came to the realization that he probably had a girlfriend and admittingly one day he shared with me that was he in a relationship for the duration of a year. I was not disappointed because I still believed our chemistry is and would be unmatchable to any female he would encounter with. Recently about a month ago he was visiting the city I currently live in and I started a silly argument to avoid seeing him only in hopes that he would find it necessary to chase me but he didn't, instead he flew back to the country he was studying in and posted images of himself with another woman. Finally I decided to respect myself and give my attention to someone I've known since the age of 5 who is also from my country. He asked me to be his girlfriend with intentions to marry and I agreed because I trust him and do love him in return but not as much as I could because I can't get Jon out of my heart and mind. I'm afraid I will always long to see him... is there anyway I could terminate these feelings because his direct avoidance of me still doesn't change the way I feel. I am not a desperate woman, I could be with anyone I desire but my heart and mind long for him only. Has anyone ever felt this way? What does one do in a situation like this where there is no action left or words that could be said to express the magnitude of my feelings towards him.

    • profile image

      Lola 8 months ago

      I think im in love with someone ive never even met or talked to before its truly a spiritual thing

    • profile image

      Hegde 8 months ago

      Thanks! This helped me..

    • profile image

      Amanda m 8 months ago

      I am currently engaged to a man I met on the internet. He is currently in prison. He is the most amazing man in the world. Even tho he is in prison he takes care of me and my son financially. We video chat atleast 7 hours of the day. I have fallen in love with him emotionally. We plan on getting married in a year. I swear I never thought this was possible but it is. I could be on MTV seriously. My life has changed so much since I've met this man. I love him so much. Long distance relationships are very hard but we are working through it. But just for the record I have met all his family and they accept me. So I k own this is the man I'm going to marry.

    • profile image

      Anna 8 months ago

      I have the most beautiful connection to a man I've spoken to fir over a year online. We have seen each other and been through up & downs but always seem to come back to each other. Thing is..I'm now falling for him and we have been flirty at times tho with meaning. We are both no game players. He's divorced. Im single. He initially said I wasn't his type though I felt the same. As time went on I see just how attractive he is to me and he speaks of me being beautiful to him..but we are just friends. He us a mirror reflection if me. I love this man though sad as it may seem I will never tell him I'm in love with him as our friendship means so much and I don't want to lose what we have

    • Shil1978 profile image
      Author

      Shil1978 8 months ago

      Hi Sziya,

      After I posted my previous comment, I noticed this part in your first comment where you said,

      "there have been times that he showed he flirts with other girls, but then when I asked him about all those things, he gives me certain answers that shuts me..and that makes me love him again. We once came to be together in relationship, but for some reason we broke up in less than a week. He always message me in no longer than a week if I'm not messaging him..and for some reason of love i was never able to ignore his messages"

      This part makes me believe he's playing you and doesn't seem to be serious in a relationship. You've given him a chance before, so think about this time, whether you really want to get sucked in again and risk disappointment. I wouldn't advise giving this guy another chance, but if you really must, just one more, but no more than that. All the best :)

    • Shil1978 profile image
      Author

      Shil1978 8 months ago

      Hi Sziya,

      Honestly, I would advise caution. Why would he want to know your reaction to a statement like that? He did say that, so now if he's saying it wasn't serious, then is he saying that because you didn't reply or because he really wasn't serious. I think it was because you didn't reply.

      Maybe he wants to keep the friendship, but are you sure he wants a real, serious relationship with you? But that doesn't mean you don't find out and give a chance.

      So go ahead and see what happens and maybe it may all work out well for you. However, please be grounded and don't let your emotions guide you always.

      All the best :)

    • profile image

      sziya 8 months ago

      hi.. thanks for giving a good advise..i told u about the story of this guy i met online...who after chatting for more than a year said ''I haven't even seen u so well in real..so how will i be able to say that''...when i asked his opinion about my charactr...and i said u that made me in tears and i didnt reply for that...

      He messaged me the nxt day seeing no reply...and was askin why no reply..he said he was jus trying to see what my reaction was and then he said..''i m so disappointed that you took it serious what i said... i thought u knew me well ... u think i would say like that ..? seriously..??...u are my bestfrnd and i love u so much..''

      this reply again made me feel bad..that if i hurt him..i dont know...anyway i didnt ever intend to do that.. and i feel a bit sorry for that..

      now it is all okay...he s in a good way like always ...yesterday he proposed me wanting to be his girlfriend..he said me sorry for whatever wrong he have done to me in any way..and did ask if i was willing to be his love..''

      he said ''its not necessary that i see u for me to fall in love with...i know u well and i hope...and i wanted to confess my love to you.''

      i of course wanted to say him yes...but when i read the message you left for me..i just felt i wanted to ask you about this...

      i would be real thankful to you for a good help.. :)

    • Shil1978 profile image
      Author

      Shil1978 8 months ago

      Hi Roxy,

      Thanks for sharing your story. Coming to your situation, since he has already confessed that he is a father to one child, what is his relationship status? Do you know for sure? If he is still in a marriage, does this relationship make any sense or have any future possibility?

      Some men in a relationship can take to chat to find companionship that's lacking in their marriage, but aren't willing to give up their marriage for any potential relationship. It's not a good thing too to break up a marriage. Yes, I know - why is he on a dating site, you may wonder. Crazy things happen.

      Some men may just chat for the fun of it, maybe think of it as flirting, and would want to just play around and not be serious about a real relationship. Unfortunately, through chatting, you may not know all the answers to these questions.

      The only thing you can do is to try to find out more about his relationship status, and if travel is not an issue for you and you are serious, try to meet him in person to know for sure what he is saying is indeed the truth.

      Men and women feel differently. What for a woman may seem like something more meaningful may not be as significant for a man. Talk more and know about him more to really know how genuine he is and whether he is available in the true sense to think of a future together.

      Coming to the last part of your comment, if he's not in a relationship, then there's nothing wrong in a long-distance relationship. It's normal. But you've got to be cautious to know he is all that he is making out to be!

    • profile image

      Roxy 8 months ago

      Hello. So I met this guy from England on this dating website, and then he first started messaging me saying hi and stuff like that. At first, i was thinking like maybe this is just another guy who's just using me but when we started to talk more, I kinda felt like ok maybe this is going somewhere. So we tooked our conversations on Skype and we started to video chat and stuff like that. But, the more we talk though the more we have feelings for each other and we do say I love you . I am trying to get to know him better by talking to him everyday, and I do trust him he's not a fake, and he also confessed that he's a father of one child. I don't know if this is right or not. Is our relationship normal?

    • Shil1978 profile image
      Author

      Shil1978 8 months ago

      Hi sziya,

      Thanks for sharing your story. I'm afraid but I don't think this guy is interested in you in any kind of serious way. He just seems to want to use you for companionship. He could be upfront and just tell you either way, but he is just avoiding and deflecting.

      Maybe he is doing that either because he knows he isn't interested in you or because he doesn't want to lose out on the companionship or friendship or just the time spent chatting with you. The "I haven't even seen u so well in real" part is just an excuse in my opinion since he did see you before and may have subsequently on chat.

      I think you should just stop chatting with him, especially since the expectations you have from the relationship is totally different than what he has. If you just want to friends with him, you can continue but I'm afraid that you may continue to hope and wish that it progresses into something more and it may not and that may just get you stuck in something that just continually disappoints you.

      So considering moving on if you can't handle this relationship being just a friendship and nothing more because there isn't any guarantee that he is going to reciprocate your feelings.

    • profile image

      sziya 8 months ago

      hi... i think i need your help...

      i have met this guy like a year before...since then we use to chat frequently .. we used to do late night chats and chatting for hours on facebook... i have always felt a lot of friendship with him and i have a lot of that feeling of love for him.. there has been times that he showed he flirts with other girls..but then , when i ask him about all those things..he gives me certain answers that shuts me..and that makes me love him again..we once came to be together in relationship , but for some reason we brokeup in less than a week... he always message me in no longer than a week if i m not messaging him..and for some reason of love i was never able to ignore his messages..anyway ..after all this..we do still chat online...and i hope we are very good friends (even though deep inside i have that feeling for him)..even he shows subtle chatting signs that he wants to be in relationship with him..and it was moving on like that in an ok way..

      but it was two days before that i asked him to say the truth about what he feels about me ...like if he feels i m a girl with morals or does he feels me like a bitch girl to flirt with..

      and his reply made me in tears..

      he said he dont know..that he cant say about that ..because he hasnt even seen me so well in real...(we have seen a twice before we knew each other-and obviously as strangers jus flirting)..

      ..i really dont understand what he meant by ''i havent even seen u so well in real..and how will i be able to say that.?..''

      pleasee help me...i havent replied for the message..i dont know what to do..i need help...

    • profile image

      Flyguy1946 8 months ago

      I joined a dating site a couple of months ago. The first woman to catch my eye (let's call her" T") and I have been communicating regularly. I've been on dates with other women, all of whom have been wonderful, but I keep coming back to T. I've been infatuated by her. She is drop dead gorgeous. I pursued her. She returned the contact. We have not yet met, though we have been in contact for two months. I confessed to her that I was smitten by her beauty, her voice and our continuing contact. We plan to meet next week. We are both very excited about the prospect of finally embracing and hopefully confirming there is a strong physical chemistry to support the intellectual connection. Our contact progressed from: Chating on the dating site, exchanging contact information, email so we could exchange more photos & have more freedom, phone calls, lots of texts & finally FaceTime. The progression made each transition very natural until FaceTime. It was great both of us were able to confirm we were who we portrayed ourselves to be. She is stunningly beautiful! However on FaceTime the natural fliw of our conversation seemed strained, clinical/sterile, not the natural spontaneous interaction we had experienced. Then it dawned on us, it wasn't us, but the medium that changed the tone from soothing and naturally flowing to more ordered and calculated. We realized we had gotten caught up in watching how we looked on camera and therefore acted as if on stage. Once realized we went back to having those wonderful, relaxed, spontaneous delightful conversations. I anxiously await finally meeting T face to face!

    • Shil1978 profile image
      Author

      Shil1978 8 months ago

      Hi Tasha,

      Thanks for sharing your experience. If you plan on meeting this guy in April, then I'd advise you to wait until then to express your feelings. Maybe by then, you'd be more clear in your mind what the feelings you have towards him are.

      Some emotions get weaker and fade away with time, others get stronger and deeper. The good thing about meeting in real is you can better gauge each other's emotions. The time in between now and then would also hopefully make things clearer in your mind about the nature of your feelings for him.

      Being nervous and scared is natural. If you still feel as strong in April as you do now, you can tell him when you meet in April, but wait till then.

      Best of luck, Tasha. Hope you two are meant to be :)

    • profile image

      Tasha 8 months ago

      I just met this really handsome guy on a dating site, i showed interest first and then he did same. He is in America and i'm in Nigeria. we got chatting on Facebook, he has been really sweet and its been over two months. initially i thought he was going to spoil the fun by asking me for nude pictures of even phone sex but he didn't and he still hasn't. He officially asked me out and i felt like a queen. we text each other frequently and he calls me sweet names, we exchange pictures. Now i'm falling in love with him, i miss him like we have met before, i think of him all day and i keep smiling at myself when his thought cross my mind. i have not told him how i feel really because i feel he will think i'm weak and desperate. we plan of meeting this April in America, i'm so nervous and scared. i don't know if i should tell him how i feel or just bottle it up in my head. i just really feel something strong for him and i'm confused.

    • profile image

      9 months ago

      I met someone on Chatous in late November 2016. I didn't mean to have such long conversation with anyone at the moment. In fact, I was about to delete the app. Then it happened that the person who popped up the second I tried finding someone to talk to for the last time appealed to me so much, and I said hi. We had a great conversation that day. He even asked to talk later when he was able to and of course I said yes. The day after, I sure didn't expect that he would actually text me back but he did, and we had a long conversation, it lasted for like 4 or more hours. He was nice. I just thought that he was great and that was it. But when time passed and he seemed to be busy not even read my messages for some reasons, I unexpectedly started to feel something for him. It's quite odd, but he suddenly became someone who's very dear to me. I have this unexplainable feeling about him. Apart from anything, he inspires me to live more as he is pretty inactive on social media. He, made me think about life. We even shared some common interests at some point. I know he would never come across this comment and but if he would, I apologize for making this weird comment about you but our conversations are one of the things I would cherish til I die. It sounds lame, but he changed how I see my life path. Thanks, Random person. Just hope he's going to answer me one day. He's awesome.

    • profile image

      Elly 9 months ago

      I've been talking to a guy online via Instagram, Snap, Skype video calls and just through my phone for about a little over a year now. We know so much and more about each other. We're in love, so in love that we often forget where and how we met. He lives about 5 hours away from me and I have yet to see meet him. It's so hard sometimes. I think about him so much and I know he thinks about me. Sometimes I get jealous of the people that get to see him everyday. I would literally give anything to go and see him right now. What makes it even harder for me is that the people in my immediate family tease me about my relationship or make unnecessary comments. Maybe they're trying to protect me? Or maybe they think its weird? I honestly don't know but it sucks and I try to explain how much this guy means to me and while sometimes they sit quietly and listen, most of the time they try and fight back. I don't know what to say to them. I'm so in love with this guy and he's so in love with me. Despite all of this, the good news is that we plan to meet each other when my family and I go up north next month for an annual event. Maybe then, after we have finally met and he's met my family, things will change for the better. But until then, I just have no idea what to say to them. Although it feels great that everything is in the open now with my family about my communication with this guy, they still act so strange when I talk about him and they still make comments or tell me how weird it is that I say I love him and that he is worth it when we've never met... I wish they would just try and understand where i'm coming from.

    • profile image

      Kathy 9 months ago

      I've been talking to this guy for 3 years and have never met. He sent a picture which I don't know if it's really him. We've argued like a married couple. Made up. I just don't know what this is. I be offered to come to him but the answer is no.

    • profile image

      Elie 10 months ago

      I've been together with my boyfriend for 6 years through online social media. I've only seen him once when he was working in McDonald but he hasn't seen me before physically. We've only see each other through video calls. I love him a lot but I don't think I will be attracted to him physically, although it's not like I'm pretty enough to judge him.

    • profile image

      Tess 13 months ago

      Yes I believe that's true. I met someone on an fb fanpage and the moment I saw her fb posts, there some kind of an instant spark. I left a message and she return my message in an instant as well, seem having that same feeling of instant spark. On that same day we share ourselves and it was fun for we have same wavelength, shares common interests and share life dramas and achievements in life... since that day, we chatted for long hours everyday, day and night, found comfort with each other, shared honest photos and happenings in our daily lives. We enjoyed each other and yeah I think this is love already for we are always missing each other. i never felt so happily connected and in love like this before to anyone. a day without us chatting feels like hell... we will be meeting soon and I am so excited about it... and guess what? she is a lesbian and I never loved like this before to any man...love has no gender I strongly believe...

    • profile image

      Bobbi 15 months ago

      I think I've fallen for someone I never met. We chat for hours and the attraction gets stronger. He is new to the area and still lives 2 hours away. Getting settled and getting his business up and running has kept us from meeting. What would be an appropriate wait time?

    • Shil1978 profile image
      Author

      Shil1978 20 months ago

      It's never ever safe to assume anything 'ConfusedGuy.' You need to get her to confirm that she is in fact single. It doesn't matter if her answer is that she's already taken - you need to know that.

      Without that, you are just living in hope and how long would you want to drag out that hope, knowing all the time that your hope may be misplaced.

      The fact that she hasn't mentioned anything about a partner could be entirely due to her personal choice to not bring that topic up. I mean why would she want to bring that up unless you're talking something specific about that part of her relationship?

      If the conversation even moved along that path, maybe she'd open up about that. Try talking about her kid, if she feels comfortable doing so. That line of conversation can eventually lead up to a conversation about her partner, if any.

      That may be your best shot to confirm! Best of luck :)

    • profile image

      ConfusedGuy 20 months ago

      I've been talking to a women online for a couple months(not for dating but something entirely different). On the side we've began chatting and I've found myself developing some kind of feeling's towards her (not sure what yet)....

      She's mentioned that she has a kid which doesn't bother me at all (actually maybe a little, read on to find out why).

      We have met briefly in reality once (in regards to the original reason we started talking) so i know she's who she said she is, and i hope she knows I'm who i say I am.

      It's funny because I started developing the "feelings" prior to meeting her and at that point i had no idea what she looked like or if we were even compatible so i repressed them as much as i could(I had to, what if she turned out to be 60 and me 20?), but then we met and we're the same age and what do you know the emotions are showing up again....

      Here comes the tricky part, beyond the harmless flirting and intellectual connection we share, the conversations don't really give me much info about her personal life (dribs and draps), overall i do get a pretty decent picture of her "personality", I really want to know more though but i can't go asking intrusive questions either.

      I know she has a child which she has mentioned numerous times, but not once has she mentioned already having a partner. Is it therefore safe to assume that she's single? I'm hesitant to ask straight out since if she's already 'taken' it could ruin the original reason I began to communicate with her (which is rather important), but on the other hand if she is single and receptive i may have found myself a kindred spirit.

      I'm kinda stuck and not sure what to do!

      ANY advice from anyone (even 'Shil') would be great

    • profile image

      Arnsi 2 years ago

      I met girl in online game, we are talking more then 1 yr now. At first we saw and talk with each other when you need to do things in party and it was just "hi". Couple months later we started to talk more and more we spend 3-4 hrs just talking in game chat. We live in difrent countrys but not far (1000 km) so in jokes i told her i will come to see friend when i have money.

      5 months ago she suggested that we start texting on Viber, 1 month after that she wanted to talk with me on Viber and i said why not. First few calls was couple min long but after that all our talks where more then 2 hrs long, we even talked late at night (until 5 am).We even send pictures to each other where we are, what are we doing, pictures of us (selfies). I noticed when we where textin on viber that I am happier there was smile on my face and others noticed that after some time when i hear noise on phone i was telling to my self "please be her".

      In this 1 yr we had fights about lots of things I even wanted to quit game and leave but something always keep me in game. But most of the times it was fun to talk with her, when we where texting in game she told me that she have boyfriend and i was ok with that because i didn't had any feelings for her at that time. But everything changed when she told me 2 weeks ago that for the last 4 months (Viber talks started) she is in sexual relationship with other guy and she broke with her boyfriend.

      Everything changed after that I started to think more about her, what happend with me, why i have this fellings, why she started to talk with me when she had someone. 5 days ago i told her how i feel that those feelings are maybe more then friendly, she said that she have feeling for me to but dont know what those feelings are. I asked her if i come to her country to meet would she come to see me. She said that she is scared and she start to talk about all scenarios that could happend but never mentiond falling in love if we meet she would just stoped talking for couple min and changed topic, i asked couple of times about falling in love scenario but she didnt answer anything.

      I am single for last 3 yrs mostly because work and almost all friends get maried and some have kids maybe because all of this i started to feel something to her, she is really nice and funny pearson i really like to talk with her but i am not sure what to do now.

      Sorry for long post but i had to tell all this

    • profile image

      Maria 2 years ago

      I was on Omegle like 5 years ago then I met this guy. He was 15 at that time, and I was 19. At first I thought we're just friends after adding each other Facebook account, because he was way too young for me. We continued to talk on Facebook, rarely. Then 3 years after that we started talking again but just the same like the first; it's an on-off communication. Late June this year he chatted me again on Facebook. We were sharing about how life is going and stuffs. Then we continued talked via WhatsApp and Skype.

      The talk became more intense until I smelled something for him. I mean, I thought that he likes me. On July, he confessed to me that he has feelings for me. He loves me. At first I was kinda shocked because I never thought that it would end up like this. The truth is, I also have feelings for him, but I dunno what to do since we're separated 15,800 km away and he's still in university while I already have a job. I told him that I can meet him physically 2 yrs from now because of the contract with the company I work at, and he's also busy with univ and project at his univ. I can feel that his love is so strong and said that he doesn't mind to wait for me that long.

      We enjoy being lovers at this time, and I hope, forever.

    • profile image

      Parfum 2 years ago

      Okay so I am falling in love with a guy I met in an internet game called habboon.com (a habbo retro). We met in a room with bunch of other players and it was New-Year's Eve that time. He saw me in a fight with a teenage boy debating if forever really existed. He saw me throw lines and also saw my defeat. After that, he started talking to me that I am different among other girls. He told me I didn't flirt and I act smart even in an internet game. I was shocked and tried to avoid him but I ended up adding him in Facebook with our fake accounts and always starting an arguement. I always told him that he better leave me alone because he just met me in the internet but surprisingly after about a few months still, he's there by my side. He even begged for me to appreciate him because I treat him like a trash. I warmed up a bit because I realized that I'm really acting so bad to him. After that he told me that he developed some feelings towards me. He told me that he likes me. He is happy chatting with me. We also exchanged pictures and accepted each other's physical appearance. After that, I need to stop opening my fake account and also to stop playing this game because I have a grade to maintain in school. After a few months I came back and started a conversation with him. We admitted that we missed each other and I asked him some questions like "how's your love-life?" He answered that ever since I left he couldn't move on. He tried to find someone like me but he told me it was a stupid thing to do, forcing yourself to fall in love with someone you think the same as the other. Eventually, he stopped and settled for nothing until we communicated again (just yesterday). He confessed that he still likes me and left his heart broken. He loved me but he didn't tell me because of the way I treated him. I felt sorry and angry to myself. How could I do that to my own feelings? Ignore them and be cold-hearted? I feel sorry for that guy. I became judgemental and didn't believe his words. I found some of his friends and realized that he was a good guy afterall. I confessed the way I feel, that I fell in love with him. Okay, should I continue this?

    • Shil1978 profile image
      Author

      Shil1978 2 years ago

      I hope for the best for both of you, Rozie. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experience :)

    • profile image

      Rozie 2 years ago

      I have met someone online and at first it was a sexual thing, but then it has grew into something more. We now talk all the time, we send pics of each other. We love listening to each other talk. We laugh together. We will meet shortly and see what happens.

    • joandamelie profile image

      joandamelie 2 years ago from earth

      thumbs up! n hope the best...au revoir ...

    • Shil1978 profile image
      Author

      Shil1978 2 years ago

      I am happy that you've finally realized what the problem is with the approach you had to this so far. You've summed it up pretty well. My best guess is he has his ex on mind still. Men are more forthcoming with expressing their feelings and the fact that he has not expressed his love for you in 17 months (1-1/2 years) says a lot - that he probably still hopes for his ex to come back and considers you a friend.

      For you, I think, therefore, it's best to move on with your life and keep him as a friend. Don't expect anything in terms of love from him. That's the best thing for you I feel. If you feel that you're getting no closure and can't just move on still, then tell him and hear the answer from him to be 100% certain (in your own mind) that he had no feelings for you.

      That would give you complete closure and allow you to move on. Either way, I am happy you have the situation much clear in your mind now. All the best, dear. I am sure you have lots of love waiting for you - him or someone else - but there will be. There are lots of good people out there and people can fall in love multiple times. So there's hope no matter what happens in this case. Keep your chin up and be positive :)

    • joandamelie profile image

      joandamelie 2 years ago from earth

      You are really sensitive !!! thanks a lot ! God bless you !

      the problem is really that one...i dont want to be involved with any other guy as i feel this online boy is on mind on a finer note...and i keep on feeling...may be waiting can be fruitful one day....he himself had been waiting for his ex to come back almost for 7 yrs and it has been merely a disappointment for him...

      yes...if really this friendship matters to both it will have no end..

      many people have their individual love perception... for me to be the best friend is to love ...it's all about closeness...but to him friendship and love both are different...he has his own notions and i have mine...

      however the question in my mind perhaps is over...i probably in a light mood am going to tell him or ask him... yes there will be heart wrenching cry...yet i'll be better...may be will be metamorphosed as a more mature, more beautiful creature... true love makes us beautiful they say...

      thanks again Shil......

    • Shil1978 profile image
      Author

      Shil1978 2 years ago

      If you can move forward without expressing your feelings and you are completely fine with that, then that'd be fine. However, from your previous post it seems like the uncertainty of whether he loves you or not is affecting you a lot. And that is not healthy. I mean if he felt the same way towards you, he may have said he loves you. After all, it has been 17 months, hasn't it?

      To move on, you need to know this chapter is closed in terms of love. Are you sure you feel that this chapter is closed love-wise? For example, you meet another guy in your city and have strong feelings for him, would you go ahead with him and not wonder about this online guy? If yes, then don't say anything. However, if no, then you need closure.

      Friendship may or may not be affected. Each case is different. It depends on the two people involved, how it affects them post a confession of love. I am afraid but I cannot guarantee whether a friendship survives post expression of love by one person. You have to be prepared for either situation.

      However, in my personal opinion, you should take that risk. I am sure if the friendship is really strong on its own, it will survive.

    • joandamelie profile image

      joandamelie 2 years ago from earth

      do u think i should say...it may spoil all the frndship... may be i better not ask and move forward... sometimes things should be hinted and left out...no, none has given any hint...so it's really odd...what do u think? nd really thanks for ur insightful thoughts, comments, suggestions...

    • Shil1978 profile image
      Author

      Shil1978 2 years ago

      Hi joandamelie,

      Well, it seems to me that he has much less emotional involvement in this relationship than you do. As hard as it may be to break it to you, I have to be honest in saying that he may in fact not love you. That may probably be an expectation that you have than the reality. He may be just wanting to be friends with you.

      Now, the question is, how do you know for sure? I think you know the answer to that - by expressing your feelings to him honestly. There's no other way you can be 100% sure whether he loves you the way you love him, or he considers you to be a friend and nothing more. You can never say how things may turn out once you express your love for him.

      It may be that you are blessed with a positive answer and I'm sure that would make you the happiest person in the world. However, it may also be that he tells you he considers you a friend and nothing more. If that happens, there's a possibility the friendship may not remain the same. The friendship may not change, but you can't be certain of that. That's a risk you have to take, and one that I think you should take rather than live with the constant uncertainty about what your relationship with him is, from his perspective as well.

      It's necessary for you to know one way or other for the betterment of you. As hard as it may be, if there is no love in this relationship, you would have to move on. And by not expressing your feelings, you are wasting away time hoping, expecting, maybe in the end to only be disappointed. So go on and express how you feel to him and maybe you will have a positive answer, but even if the answer is negative, at least you wouldn't have to guess anymore.

      That is what I think is the best for you. Just remember, many of us have gone through many "No's" in love before we've found our soul mate, so the world doesn't end if his answer is a No. But I hope for the best for you.

      Best of luck, dear!

    • joandamelie profile image

      joandamelie 2 years ago from earth

      I want ur opinion guys...pls tell me...is there love in him for me? is it possible?

    • joandamelie profile image

      joandamelie 2 years ago from earth

      great reading...thanks all...am not still sure of falling in love online...i think it depends...a person must be careful enough not to be vulnerable emotionally while chatting online...but same is true to a real life relationship, many times ppl fail to catch the cheater or catch the want of emotions on the other part....a face-to-face relationship gives scope to understand the emotions through various things like body language, eye contacts, real life situations...which are not possible online...but likewise online relationships can be read sometimes through the type of language used while chatting, the frequency of conversation...so all over it depends. i am chatting regularly with a guy for last 17 months...coincidentally we started talking casually at the time while both of our ex's after cheating us and dumping us badly enough were going to get married to their 'true' lovers (huh)... both of us had been through severely bad phases...and since that day we have never left each other's side...i like him from the day 1... he had been from the same town but he is living in other state of our country...i can share with him the dumbest of my thoughts...it's not that we don't scold each other...or are not bored with each other...yet it is going on...i feel i am deeply connected with him...sometimes he becomes too much protective about his private space and he has strict inflexible notions about it...and many times i am hurt with his words and he probably doesn't get it : how deeply i feel hurt about it...many times i have thought that it's only me on one end and there's no one else on the other...but amazingly enough he had been there...not letting loose the thread...i have no idea about his feelings...probably he considers me a very good trustworthy friend of him ...and perhaps we are not still over with the traumatic feelings of our past...we have shared our deepest of feelings and i really feel lucky as he has allowed that much space where i have felt him uniquely although it hurts me too when sometimes he suddenly draws an unseen barrier line around him and doesn't allow me to be close emotionally...yet i think i don't want to lose this friendship, and i feel he feels the same...neither of has asked for phone no's or mail id's..never we have done any video chat, nor we have ever planned to see each other...nobody has promised anything to the other...yet it's there unwritten, undeclared...whatever it is...this friendship matters to me deeply..it has brought a lots of positive changes in me silently, it has given me control over my emotions, infatuations, silly thoughts...i also have seen him to change a lot, i don't know if he notices it or not...whatever...

    • profile image

      joan 2 years ago

      hi...thanks all

    • profile image

      lisa 2 years ago

      Hello well im very confused here i met my friend online we been talking about 11 months now i never met him in person the funny thing is he have tried to ask to c me but we never really hooked up but i have reached out to him but its like when i was ready to meet up with him he act like he was doing stuff but my thing he is a aries and he has a temper he gets mad when i dont pick up sometimes and texts my phone saying mean stuff and that confused me but he also say he is in love with me how is that possible we never met but i can say i do got feelings for him but why when i ask him to send me a pic he blow me off but i have been on his page where there is a pic up and family and friends of he's are commenting on im very lost pls help..

    • profile image

      Sharon 2 years ago

      I met a man online 5 months ago and we fall in love. We chat, video Skype everyday, he then promise me to come to India to meet me. However, as the days comes nearer, he text me saying his holidays aren't approve from his work. So we decided to apply the fiancé visa, but as days goes by, I feel that he is ignoring me with many excuses. He promised me that he's gonna be loyal and won't chat or talk to any other woman. But I was taken aback when a lady from phillinines text me on fb saying the same promises were made to her too by the same man. Please help, he still talk to me and chat with me.

    • profile image

      Olivia 2 years ago

      I fell inlove with someone online , after months we met only to realize he is disabled. I did not run on the same day but weeks later i disappeared. I am so sorry if i am rude .