Can You Fall in Love With Someone You've Never Met?

Updated on December 5, 2016

That's an interesting question; however, the answer to that question is not as apparent or straightforward. I can entirely see how you can fall in love with someone you've never met. If you are friends with someone on the Internet and chat with them on messenger programs, for example, you would know what I am talking about. Although, personally, I haven't fallen in love online with anyone, I have felt connected in some ways to people whom I have never met face-to-face.

People generally get attracted to each other based on common ideas, common outlook towards life, common value systems, and similar views on important issues. If you happen to know someone over the Internet, you can sometimes feel connected if your views match theirs. Also, you might like their sense of humor — this does come through no matter what the medium, whether it's speech, chat, or text. So, face-to-face contact isn't as essential in knowing the other person. One can even argue that not having face-to-face contact can have certain advantages. You may not judge the other person for their physical looks per se, but may get in touch with them on a deeper emotional level.Consequently, I would think you could theoretically fall in love with someone you've never met in person.

But, could such a love stand the test of time? Would such a love overcome the potentially high expectations generated by an online or virtual personality? Certain personality traits may not be visible or apparent in the online domain. Would such a love, then, be able to come to terms with the reality of physical imperfections or deficiencies? These are important questions to consider when one falls in love over the Internet, via the phone, or any other medium where the two lovers can't meet face to face.

Source

Loving Someone You Haven't Met — Living a Fantasy?

Physical Attraction When Meeting Face-to-Face

Assuming that a couple has met over the Internet or over the phone, the more interesting thing that I'd like to know is: what would be their reaction when they do in fact meet in person for the first time. You may like their thoughts/views on various subjects and like the online person you've met, but what if the person turns out to be, well, not as attractive physically when you first meet them. Can you overlook that fact and love them the same way as you did before you met?

Even though most people say (to be politically correct more than anything else) that outward beauty doesn't matter to them, generally most people value beauty in a potential partner. So, while it is possible that you can fall in love with someone you've never met in person, it is not as possible to predict whether you would in fact remain in love with that person once you've met them, especially if that person turns out to be not so attractive (based on your standards of attractiveness).

Also, when you do in fact meet a person face-to-face, you may discover many things about him/her that you hadn't quite anticipated. Perhaps, he/she has some embarrassing habits that you hadn't quite anticipated, or perhaps he/she has some irritating quality that wasn't apparent to you before through his/her online persona. So, while you can fall in love with someone you've never met, whether you stay in love with that person is quite another matter.

Discovering Their True Identity

There is also the potential problem of anonymity and people who mask their true identities online. You may have very good, honest, genuine intentions and want real love, but can you be really sure that the other person with whom you are chatting to or speaking with shares those intentions? For all you know, the other person may be twice the age he/she actually claims to be, he/she may be married and claim to be single, they may be showing you pictures of someone else but may claim that the person in the picture is in fact them. How can you be sure?

The online world is a world of escape for some people and many just come online to live a world they can't live in the real world. So, they may just log in and claim to be someone who they are not, but you have no way of knowing that. To me, this is the biggest problem that a person who connects with another person online faces.

So, while you may fall in love with someone you've never met physically (and it is quite possible), the more important question that you should be asking is if you truly have fallen in love with a real person (who exists in the real world) or an online mirage that's a figment of someone's imagination — someone who is just in it for the fun of it, maybe just to find someone to get physical with, or someone who is not as serious about finding love as you are?

Flirting on Social Media: Avoid Falling for the Wrong Person

A lot of heartbreak can be avoided if during the initial stages of a potential online relationship you insist on seeing the person you are chatting with on cam, rather than settle for pictures, which may be of anyone and not necessarily of the person who is chatting with you. Also, look out for avoidance behavior, like committing to something that may expose their true identity and then backing out repeatedly. For example, if the person you are chatting to is repeatedly promising to meet up with you or cam and then avoids it, there may be a strong possibility that they have something to hide — something they do not want you to find out about them. Maybe that "something" is that they are not really who they've been projecting to you on chat.

Conclusion

So, hope for the best, but expect the worst to save yourself some heartbreak. Online love does happen and has happened for many, but so have online heartbreaks, and I certainly don't want you to join the ranks of the heartbroken ones.

Have you fallen in love with someone you've never met? If so, I'd like to hear. Feel free to share your experiences by leaving a comment below, as countless others have!

© 2009 Shil1978

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    • profile image

      Ava 

      13 days ago

      Well I'm not sure if it's really love but I've talked to him a few times trough discord. He seems pretty fun i do know how he looks in real life also hes my cousins friend but the problem is not that it feels like I'm obsessed with him. A lot of times i would want him to text me so that we could talk for a little longer but being a shy person does not help me deal with it at all i just cannot make the first move.

      Sorry if i misspelled something English is not my first langue!

    • profile image

      vineet pratap singh 

      2 weeks ago

      The above article is 100% true I was in a love with a girl whom I didn't know, we didn't met but still we were in a relationship for more than 3 years but unfortunately she was not mine...she was disloyal and I was the biggest fool who accepted her second time after knowing that she was not loyal...its over 3 months but I am still in my dreams still in love with that disloyal one....for her I left my job as I was selected in up police as a sub inspector so hate girls hate disloyal peoples

    • profile image

      Angel 

      2 weeks ago

      I've fallen in love with a man in California. He and I had been secretly stalking each other on Facebook and had been friends for two years. One day it just happened that we started being open with one another. He has a live in girlfriend but I knew it going into the situation. We started typing back and forth and then it grew into video chat once or twice a week. It has now blossomed into daily face time. I told him a few weeks ago that he had my heart and his response was I had his too. Last week he confessed he loved me and when I told him I loved him too everything seemed to change. He's become completely engaged in my feelings and asking if I'm ok and we've got a trip planned to meet up face to face in New Orleans. He has business there and I'm going for vacation. I've never fallen in love over the internet and of course preparing myself for the goodbye but, I truly feel he does love me as he needs no prompting to say I love you and he will randomly message me asking me how my day is etc. I live in South Carolina so the distance sucks but I believe he is in love!! I'm excited but terrified!!

    • profile image

      Tuyikunde chantal 

      2 weeks ago

      I am in love with some one I met on dating site,I really feel something when I chat to him,but I fear to express my feeling coz he can think that it is a scammer's strategy,what can I do,we chat for 2months

    • profile image

      Kit 

      3 weeks ago

      Thank you for this, I admire your honesty on your article about loving someone you haven't meet yet...And yes I am one of the many who fell in love with someone I haven't meet yet..But one thing I made sure for this relationship that we are trying to build is that we slowly know each other whatever information she gave to me, pictures etc. I tried my best to validate it through the social media her background the picture she sent if I can find it to her relatives etc... and true enough so far so good. The last time I ask her is how she feels towards me that she doesn't even know me personally, does she have any doubts about me etc...and I honestly and frankly tell her my feelings...I must say yes it is possible to fall in love with someone we haven't meet yet I am madly in love to her and preparing to see her soon in Canada...

    • profile image

      Anna 

      7 weeks ago

      Im really obsessed with one guy that i met on facebook, i fell 4 him cause he used to give me attention, anytime when i video call would find.the problem he nolonger give me attention, hes always online but he dont chat to me , he is always busy.Was planning to visit him in two month to come not evn sure if i can still go because of the way he treat me.This really hurt me cause dont know wat to do anymore .he showed that he is someone i can spend the rest of life with .

    • profile image

      Jessica 

      7 weeks ago

      Hi

      Well my bestfriend introduced me to her best friend which is a guy on the phone and ive never met him or seen him face to face, so we started talking and talking then after a month he confessed that he likes me and i liked him since then we started dating and never met in real life and i still fell inlove with him but he doesnt talk video call i dont know why and we’ve been dating for 7 month but like breaking up then coming back and still haven’t met each other but he only likes to talk abt sexual things nothing more and i always say no abt talking sexually and he says im overreacting and overdramatic but im still inlove with him i dont know why

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      8 weeks ago

      @Sostupid,

      The most probable reason why guys would not want to Skype would be if they have misrepresented themselves to you early on. That being the case, they now feel that Skyping would expose them. Reason why they don't want to get exposed. There can be exceptions to this though, and I have to put it out there.

      Some guys may be insecure about their looks, but if they want to pursue the relationship they eventually have to let themselves be seen isn't it? So maybe he lied about his age to you or showed you a photo of someone else early on in the conversation. Maybe he just wants to see you and have a fling online and nothing serious than that and so he is okay with pretending to be someone else or just be content to have an anonymous online identity and chat with you.

      Try telling him things such as it doesn't matter how you look, or that it dosn't matter if he misrepresented himself with a picture of someone else, that you'd be okay with whoever he is and you just want to see him and see how that goes.

      You won't believe how many guys just get talking to girls online when they are already married or have a girlfriend in the real world. So if you don't want to die wondering make him feel comfortable and get him to confess who he really is and ask him to prove that to you. Once you get him to do that, you would at least know what the real story was.

      Most likely, you'd be disappointed knowing the truth but at least you would know it. Once you know the truth, you can decide what you want to do. Likely dump him and move on. If he doesn't tell you the truth, just move on. Because lies can't be the foundation of a relationship.

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      8 weeks ago

      @ Richard, don't get ahead of yourself yet. Be friends with her and see how it develops. If she feels as strongly for you, she would reciprocate your love eventually. Don't rush it. Give her the time to decide for herself what her feelings are for you. The distance shouldn't matter at this stage since she hasn't reciprocated your love. Work on the friendship and let it develop.

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      8 weeks ago

      Hi Anna,

      I am sorry for replying to you late. I feel for you. It seems to me that this guy isn't worth your time. I know this is not what you want to hear, but I have to tell you honestly what I feel about this. Based on all that you have told me, it seems to me that he is into a relationship, maybe he is already married. While you can't be sure about this and neither can I be sure, but it is obvious that he hasn't been truthful to you. If you want to know the truth, you can try asking him before you move on. You can tell him it doesn't matter to you if he's married and so he can go on and tell you the truth about his life and his relationship if he has any. That way maybe he would open up to you and tell you the truth. If he tells you, you would know possibly the reason for his behavior. You can also use it as an excuse to break this relationship.

      No matter what he tells you though, I don't think you should pursue him. A bit of jelousy is okay but this guy is jealous even though you guys have never met in person. What do you think would happen if you guys ever had to live together in real? I don't think it would be good for you to have this kind of a jelous guy and a guy who is so emotionally unsure of himself. Do you really want to deal with this ups and downs that you have had with his already? Either way, find out the truth about him first. Nothing can be built up on a foundation of lies. My opinion is you should move on, but if you do decide to give this a chance, do so only after you have made him tell you the total truth about him and his personal life and then decided that his jealous nature is okay for you. I wouldn't be able to handle an over jealous guy. Hope this helps you.

    • profile image

      Sostupid 

      2 months ago

      I’m reading all these comments thinking “Is it the SAME guy that’s talking to me?”. Same thing... I asked to Skype and he keeps saying he can’t because he’s in military camp & because of security reasons. now he’s saying he’s gonna move here to the US to live with me & I don’t even know his REAL name. He lied about his name b4 & kept saying that was really his name. He also lied saying he lived in the US in NY but doesn’t. In the beginning I was so happy & I kept thinking about him but now I’m slowly drifting away. In the beginning he was telling me how he wanted to start a serious relationship with me that would lead to something great. We have been talking for a month now. I seriously don’t know what to do? All my friends are saying he’s full of shit & lying to me. Does any of this sound familiar to anyone? I’m wondering if it’s the SAME guy??

    • profile image

      hayley 

      2 months ago

      yes, I did long story really so I was lonely and was looking for something to entertain myself and I saw this app called vent in the app store I thought it looked good and I downloaded it. one day I couldn't take it anymore so I called out for help and this guy named skellypengu on the app offered to help me so I took it up with some encouragement from him. so we private texted each other on the app first and we ended up talking to each other for a whole day and the weirdest thing happened it was like we both felt a connection with each other then we decided to talk everyday so then I eventually gave him my messenger account and we both talk on there and yes I am still in love with him this happened not long ago but now his decided he wants to get me over to America because I live in Australia or he wants to come here. I have seen pictures of him and I know his not faking it he is a very honest person. we soon want to video chat each other but because I am only 18 its like am I too young for this but I really thing his the one and by the way his only 16 and we both love each other very much. what do you think?

    • profile image

      Anna 

      2 months ago

      Hello,Shil! I am a doctor,40 years old.I was bored so I decided to try an European expensive dating site.After 15 days and lots of emails and messages from all men ,he found me. I didn’t want something serious ,just friends but he got me.He is an engineer,47 years old ,charming ,very intelligent ( the reason why I felt for him).He asked me to be his girlfriend and I accepted We were like soul mates .We had the first fight ,his jealous was terrible,we broke up and get back together.He told me that he was ready and he needed to meet me in my country (Brazil) and I waited.After ,he told me that he was afraid that he wasn’t enough for me.One month ago,a second fight...all about his jealous of me and we broke up again and I went to Rome.I was so next to him ( he

      Lives in Vienna)but he didn’t meet me,I was so angry and frustrated!Sometimes ,I think that he lied to me about his “fortune “ and now doesn’t want to tell me the truth.I really don’t care about that and he knows,I wasn’t with him expecting a rich guy,I am independent!If I want him back?I do but with the true.Days ago he was playing difficult and treating me like a “friend”?So I decided to do the No contact rule and now he is sending me messages on the site and I am not answering.I am confuse...I want him but I am very sad about his attitudes about us,my heart is broken now.Do I Try him again or move on?Thanks! P.S: Only in 7 months all this happened!!

    • profile image

      Kemer 

      2 months ago

      Yes. Our relationship lasted about 2 years he was always there for me. We never met when I brought up the topic about when should we meet he always dodge the topic. Everytime when I need someone to talked to, he saved me in a lot of ways. It is so hard to just end our relationship but I need to.

    • profile image

      Zanele 

      3 months ago

      I am in that situation I met with him on fave book he stay in USS I stay in SA. we chat everyday it's been a yr now he phoned me sometimes now he want to come to SA and am afraid.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      3 months ago

      Hi. there.

      It sure is a useful article.

      I will keep my dilemma short and simple.

      6 days back, I met a guy on Instagram. He pinged me first and then we started to chat. He seems like a cute, funny, nice guy. He is about 6 or 7 years younger to me. But, he flirts with me frequently which I said I do not appreciate. I am also committed so feelings from side are never going to develop ever. However, he seemed to be a little shaken with the information about my boyfriend.

      I like to chat with this guy and can continue being online buddies. But it is him who is not so sure. Plus he does not know what to do!

      Please advise!

    • profile image

      Kawena 

      3 months ago

      Im met a man on social media and never saw his face, only pictures as he claims not allowed on military camp...hes a widow and im married and we have a 21year difference in age..im ashamed to let this go so far its been 4months..im looking forward to meeting him in person but not sure if it will happen.

      I just want your comments on this if anyone else has gone through the same situation..

    • profile image

      Serena 

      3 months ago

      I met this guy on OkCupid and we seem to hit it off. He said that he's originally from San Antonio Texas but it's in his fourth year of medical school and St Louis Missouri. Then he claims that he is a doctor and in the Marine corps special forces and works a civilian job as a physician assistant at an urgent care clinic but he never gives name the name of the clinic he works at. Right now he's deployed right now in Anchorage Alaska. Every time we plan to meet he'll say things like I couldn't find no one to cover for my shift. we're currently planning a wedding but he never gave me an engagement ring. part of me wants to move on with my life and find somebody else but my heart is saying don't give up. What should I do? Move on or hold on?

    • profile image

      martin fennell 

      3 months ago

      This is happening to me. Although I wonder if it;s love or infatuation, or maybe neither. But we know what each other looks like, through posting pictures, and vdeo calls.

      Anyway, here is some information.

      1. we have never met in real life. she lives in a different country, and we chat though messenger.

      2. the first of august will be a month since i answered the first email she sent me

      3. she had placed an ad in a magzine. i had told her, I'm not working.

      I asked her why she didn't accept one of the other guys who might have a job, and provide her with more security. She is a poor person..

      She told me, not to be talking nonsense, and she chose me.

      4. i told her, that she is beautiful to me. She says she is not;

      5. We chat about 4 hours a day. Well, obviously that is not continous. I lie to her, and say i am going

      asleep, wheras in actual fact, I want to watch something.

      6. When chatting with her, i sometimes wonder what I am going to say next.I am excited for the next chat;

      7. She is a caregiver, and i ask about the patient she looks after. I feel a genuine concern for this other

      person.

      8, I want to spend the rest of my life, with her, and make her happy.

      9; i think about her a lot, but still watch stuff, go shopping, etc etc.

      10. i go for massages, which she doesn;t like, but says she will trust me.

      11. I express regret that i am not with her. She says distance doesn't matter as long as we love each.

      other.

      12. i push to the back of my mind, my concern that when we get together, it will all just fizzle out.

      13. we are both in our 50's. She was in a bad relationship before, Abusive husband That ended 30 years ago. She had another relationship since then, but overall concentrated on her 4 children.

      I have never been in a loving relationship, and i told her that.

      13. i don't turn on messenger, until i am ready to chat. I told her that today.

      14. I guess what made me love her, or become infatuated with her, is basically because her work as a caregiver. working past regular hours, but not getting paid extra for it. Being content with what she has. I see her as saint. But, would i be disappointed to find out she farts a lot in bed, or snores. No.

      maybe what i really feel is a loving admiration.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      3 months ago

      I met a guy on an app called Yubo. It's supposed to be an app where you swipe to find friends, but anyways, I used it mostly for fun, and it has kind of become a dating app instead.

      But I met one guy there and he is very sweet and funny. He is cute and tall, he kind of looks like the guy from the Up movie with the square glasses. I've talked to him on the phone a few times.

      It's just, I think he likes me more than I like him. I told him to mot fall in love with me before he has met me, yeah idk. And we talk everyday all day and I feel weird talking to him, like I'm hesitating. It's like my body doesn't want to fall in love.

      I think that I can't fall in love unless I've met the person. I don't know. I am afraid to be dissapointed so I think that's why I'm weird about it. Cause I think he is great, it's just, I don't want to be dissapointed, so that is why I'm trying not to fall in love.

      I just dont know what to do, because I am arfraid that I won't like him in real life and then have to stop what we have and then hurt his feelings. Part of me wants to ghost him right now and never have to deal with it again, but the other part of me wants give it a shot.

    • profile image

      cyril 

      3 months ago

      I met this girl on Facebook I have fallen for her and its deep but all the time I have to tell her I became blank and feel lost on my own thoughts its really hard I don't know what to do I love the girl please help

    • profile image

      RL 

      3 months ago

      I'm in a ldr & practically it's quite impossible for us to meet in person before 1.5 yrs (as we're young & won't be possible till we pass out frm school)...Can our relationship stand till that first meeting? And if yes then what should we do to make it possible

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      3 months ago

      Hi Leen, you have not mentioned anything much for me to comment upon what you should do, but you can read through the comments of others here and maybe you would have an idea based on what they've shared and what I have responded before.

    • profile image

      leen18 

      3 months ago

      I met this guy named pascal on a game - and we haven’t met it ...

      I am not sure if I should break up with him .... we’ve been dating for almost a month and it’s a long distance relationship...

      What should I do

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      3 months ago

      Hi Anonymous,

      I think you should tell him the truth and explain why you showed that other girl's picture. Explain what went on in your head at the time. Maybe he would appreciate you for being truthful about it. What have you got to lose anyway since you are contemplating ending it.

      The way things are going you are neither here nor there and you'd keep feeling guilty. You owe him the truth.

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      3 months ago

      Oh my God, Eric. Thank you so much for taking the time to describe your experience in such detail. I absolutely loved reading it, but at the same time, I am crushed at you talking about not wanting to live.

      Come on, Eric, please don't get into that zone. I know how you feel. I have been down that road too, but please don't contemplate ending it. Sometimes we just get so down, we listen to sad love songs, keep thinking of what-ifs and whatnot and end up making ourselves feel worse than it really is. Keep the hope.

      I know how heartbreaking it can be to want to be there for that special someone, love them like only you can, wanting to care for that person, but if only life and love were that straightforward. So what does one do? You learn to live with it. I have and I am sure you can too.

      Just do the other things you always wanted to do. Maybe travel to places you wished to travel to or even if you didn't wish, get out and see places, meet new people. In short, keep yourself engaged and stimulate your senses. Don't be a hermit.

      When you withdraw yourself, all you have is your mind to deal with and that mind would replay you the very things that will make you more depressed. It is a vicious cycle. Don't dwell there.

      I hope you listen to me on this, Eric, and live your life. You never know what the future has in store. Maybe you will end up together by some quirk of fate or maybe you'd meet someone equally compelling and interesting. You never know. That's the beauty of life.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      3 months ago

      10 months ago I was bored, married relationship was not there no spark so one night I went on a free sex chat room and I was messaged immediately by this guy. He gave me his email and we started chatting. I love him very much, we talk on the phone when I know I can without my husband knowing. He is married also but he thinks I'm younger than he is. Like 20 yrs younger when actually I'm the same age as him. I don't know the first time he messaged me I didn't think it would've gone this long and I gave him another girls picture. I wish I had come clean then about who I am and my age but I didn't and I regret that decision today. He's always been there for me and I for him. He knows he will never leave his wife and I, given the chance would leave my husband for him. But it is what it is and now I am feeling guilty and want to end it but I don't want to tell him the truth and hurt him. I just want to end it...but I can't seem to let him go.

    • profile image

      Eric Siluk 

      4 months ago

      I met a lady on FB through mutual friends. She lived in Missouri and I in Florida (yuk). It started as friendship, but quickly we realized we were sexually attracted to one another...or as sexually attracted to someone as you could be having never been in the same room with them. Due to our mutual friends and extensive 'real' photos (tagged in ones, not posed for) of one another on our well used FB pages we knew with 100% assurance that neither of us were indeed cat-fishing the other.

      We fell deeply in love, spurned on by our similar political, emotional, and ethical views on life, relationships and what it means to be 'in love'.

      Neither of us were 'old', but I was 38-ish and she 29. She had 3 children and still lived in the same house with her second husband with whom she'd been separated for well over a year. And I, ever the skeptic, found myself completely believing in her faithfulness and fidelity towards me. However, she seemed less confident.

      For reasons still not fully understood to me she was extremely self conscious about her weight. I jumped through hoops to attempt to 'show' her I didn't not only 'not mind' her curvaceous body, but that it was indeed a ;selling feature'.... a 'reason' I was physically attracted to her. But her jealousy grew stronger fueled by her insecurities. She was terrified that I was 'out of her league' in the looks department based on my exes who's pics she saw, and my own pictures/videos.

      I am an attractive man, though I am the sort that cringed at writing that just now. Unless I am making a joke, I view myself as nothing to get worked up about. Probably due to the fact that my looks exist in a rare area among humans... I have nice facial features, yet suffered bad acne as a child and have several scars to show for it. These tend to not show up in pictures. So in an attempt to show her we were on a very compatible level in the looks dept. I took as many unattractive pics of myself in the worst lighting possible to ease her fears. It did not.

      She once broke up with me for two hours because I clicked 'like' an a FB advert with a skinny, heavily tattooed model in it. It took me two hours to convince her of the truth: I liked the chicks tattoos...I have some myself and hers were awesome. That was it.

      Well time went on and we eventually met for a week vacation in FL. To say both of our nerves were rattled is the understatement of my life. I was mortified at the thought I would not live up to her over blown expectations because of my ability to take a nice picture(I look better in pics than 3d-4d).

      Well.... our concerns couldn't have been sillier, we instantly loved one another even more at first site. We weren't in the hotel for 20 minutes before I was inside her and passionately kissing her beautiful face and her returning the passion in equal doses.

      Our week together was, and remains the best week of my life. Things were well (there were bumps along the way that I'll leave out for brevity's sake) after the trip ended and we went back to our respective time zones. The relationship however, due to mistakes on both our parts, tragically, ended. I tried to get her back for three years. I only had sex twice with other woman in those three years...which is NOT normal for me. I usually engage in frequent sex. I stopped going out, lost interest in my friends, and have since turned into a hermit of sorts who is now contemplating whether life is worth it at all.

      She contacts me roughly once every three months to 11 months and we try again to put this special connection back together. But too much has been said it seems...one or the other of us will out of the blue get angry at the other for no real reasons.

      The fact is when we met I was out of work, she had a promising career. Since the break-up her career has gone expectedly well, and I have found a great job, better than I thought I would ever find honestly.

      And now I have a money-making job I could surely not replace were I to quite and move across the country and she would never move her kids to Florida, lessening their chances at great lives/educations/whatnot. And it would rip them away from their father and family and friends during formative years as well.

      I write this only to say that one can absolutely fall completely in love with another having never met them. And sometimes that transfers over to when they actually meet as well. I'm 42 now and doubt I will ever find someone to love as I love/like/am best friends with her again. It only happens once or twice to the luckiest of us. Many never experiencing truly appreciating another human for all they are, imperfections become the perfections. I love Kate with every fiber of my being and It seems this world and our own fears (mostly hers....she'd hate I said that and disagree lol) have destroyed any possibility for us to grow old together as true and real best friends who couldn't keep their hands off each other.

      I don't think I want to live much longer. I only go through my daily chores in hopes I'll meet another,but I am intelligent enough to know the chances of that are slim now that the bar has been set so high by my chubby little angle who I dream about every day. Her last BF got physically abusive so she ended it.... I can't be there to protect her! My love is in a horrible world and she could end up with any manor of sneaky creep with an ugly personality just waiting to show itself. I'll never get to know her children, who btw seem amazing.

      I think I'll give it another year or two, save my money, then use it as a means to fulfill a bucket list before I end this nightmare. She sent a message after a drink or two (she doesn't usually drink, has no tolerance) one night not long ago telling me similar things I've said here.... deep down....real real deep down I know she means it when she says I'm her girl and always will be. I KNOW she loves me. But there's a crappy song out there that put it well enough...."sometimes love just ain't enough".

      I hate my life. Except for the year or so together virtually and the week in person with her. Those are the only times I've ever felt 'home'. And hey, maybe it's just me...maybe if she'd have truly felt the same we would be together. All the more reason to bucket list it out while I'm still reasonably handsome and have my health. This life is too short.

    • profile image

      rich 

      5 months ago

      i am currently caught in a fantasy with a woman that is extremely beautiful as i met her on a dating website as she is younger like 15 yrs than me. At one point, like 2 weeks ago the dream about her was intense it seemed like a movie. I know we probably will never met as she is in south america. One dream I had was that i was on the beach in miami talking and laughing, then she kissed me and the party got intense. I envision her becoming a model but who knows. What happens next I don't know maybe crash and burn.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      5 months ago

      We talked together for about 3 years and I can say that I really know him. Ive had his passwords too and we used to talk every single minute. Last months we had the chance to met in person but there always happened something to mess up, so I got tired of that type of "friendship" and said goodbye to him. There is the chance to meet him but idk if this matters, i mean when i think about it online relationships are just loose of time... idk what to do and how to feel but i know that he had really been an important part of my life and although we have never met in person i always felt better when i "was with him".

      I trust him but i think its better for both of us to forget each other... i need help

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      aÿe 

      5 months ago

      we met online we chat for awhile he was damn cool and nice and kinda sweet too he tried to ask me out and i always push him away but he still talks to me after awhile our convo kinda gets boring and hes such a convo killer sometimes as well as me at times too so i decided not reply and he didnt text back and i saw his other social media platform he was always down before all this too and i texted him aft weeks like hey how your doing and from there we talk about 1-2 months and i really like to talk to him but i dont have the confident ? to meet him but he was nice tho like its the little things that we talk about that still makes me think of him and we stopped talking afterward, i just felt like hes replying for the sake of replying so i ended the convo i didnt reply and afterward on his anothet social media platform his still as down as always i dont get it , i asked him before why his always sad, what isit about and he told me he doesnt know why ??? he said sometimes because of others or either himself whatever the case is we’re so close in distance and we have mutual friends and i cant help reading old chat. This is probably the first time i actually experiencing something like this, he actually keep on appearing in my dreams and his post on social media always makes me wonder whether isit me or there is someone else, i believe i will get over it soon ahhahahah :-)

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      Julie 

      5 months ago

      A guy messaged me online 6 months ago we hit it off instantly chatted for hours on watsapp and eventually on the phone.After 6 weeks he disappeared for two weeks thought that was it was upset then he appeared again i was so happy excepting his rubbish excuse he had been on jury duty

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      BrookWatson 

      5 months ago

      I was happily getting to know somebody online and we were pretty much in a hurry to meet each other face to face face to face he looked about 10 years older about 6 in shorter and he talk with his mouth full of food several times I was so disappointed cuz we got along famously before we met so I had to send him a text message the next day that said I could not fall in love with somebody shorter than me sorry

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      Anonymous 

      5 months ago

      I've met this guy online.we fell in love or so he said.he knew how i was scammed out of alot of money.i first though he was part of it cause ive never met him face to face. He continued declaring his love for me . I know he loves me cause he's leaving everything behind in his country to move to my country. One thing is uncertain is the pics he's sending me and he havent gone on video or Skype with me why?

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      Aaditya 

      5 months ago

      I met a girl on Facebook, we are chatting since one year, I really like her I can see her photo which she uploads she hadn't seen my photo. she is 15,000km far from me .she chat me by saying that she likes my name

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      Xyz 

      5 months ago

      Hiii.. I met my guy on fb. It has been 10 months of our relationship. Still we haven't met. I love him lot but i cant express my feelings

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      6 months ago

      Hi 'Philophobiac,' If you can't get him out of your mind, if you miss him when he's not around, if you constantly crave his presence online, if you can't stay angry at him for long, if you think about him when not online, if you re-read your chats online, etc, then maybe you have feelings stronger than just a passing fancy.

      You wouldn't know what he feels for you unless you bring up the subject. At some point, maybe you would feel it's better to know what he feels for you than constantly guess.

      Yes, things may change once you tell him, but only you can decide whether it's worth it, whether you really do feel as strongly for him, and whether you find it to be love based on what I've stated above.

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      6 months ago

      Hi 'M,' you can't do anything about the 'spark.' Just like a real relationship, it can become stronger over time or fade. You can't predict it and shouldn't worry too much about it. Take it one day at a time.

      Especially, since both of you live in different countries, don't get ahead of yourself. Take it day by day and see how your relationship develops.

      How do you know if you really care or it's just an attraction? If it's superficial, you'd have no problems getting over him. If you feel something deeper, you'd feel that emptiness, loneliness, you'd miss him as you would in a real-life relationship.

      Ultimately, you would just know how much it means to you, whether it's superficial or something substantial. Just take it one day at a time for now and be cautious too since he's in another country. Just don't do anything impulsive.

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      6 months ago

      Thank you, Amy, for sharing your story. I'm sure this is an experience many have had. Often times, in our younger years, we aren't as wise as we become later on, especially in matters of the heart. How unfortunate is that?

      There is always that one person you just can't get out of your mind. I hope you don't beat yourself too much about it though, as it is in the past now and you can't do much about it.

      You can, however, celebrate the memories and yes stalking the FB and following what he's been doing is okay. I do that myself :) Just don't obsess too much over him and keep it healthy. I'm sure you do that, but I just am directing this to other readers of this comment.

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      Amy 

      6 months ago

      I met this guy when I was 23 online via AOL when the idea of meeting someone online was unheard of or weird! He was on the opposite side of the country and we chatted on the phone and AIM for one year. I fell hard for him and he did as well. Long story short he came to meet me in person 1 year later and my parents gave me a hard time. I married someone else several years later and I still can’t get this guy out of my mind as much as I can try otherwise. I see him in my dreams and I stalk him on FB now under a fake ID. Your soul cannot be lied to, your heart knows more than your mind. I can’t change the things that happen but this post is for anyone out there.. give something a real chance before you may regret it 20 years later and it’s too late. I’m 42 now and I wish I had the courage to have been rebellious and gave this a real chance when he asked me to go move to his state after I had left him and wanted him back. Whether this could have worked out or not I regret not giving it my all. It is better to stand a chance of getting hurt in order to find and keep true love and be happy.

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      6 months ago

      I really like this guy, but he lives in a different country. If we do decide to stay together I'll have to wait at least 2 years before I can see him. I'm scared of stories I've heard where the spark just dies. How do I know I care for him or just feel attraction?

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      Philophobiac 

      6 months ago

      well, I meet a certain person in MMORPG and as time goes by, I think I'm falling inlove with him. we never added each other in FB nor even planned on doing so but we exchanged numbers for game purposes (like when are we going to do raids and stuff) and we do voice chat while doing raids. we always go online together and we always enjoy the game even if it's just the two of us. I don't know what he feels for me and I'm not sure if I'm really in love with him or not. but I can't get him off my head. and I'm really scared to tell him I like him and I'm quite stressed for feeling this way. i don't want to be in love but my head tells me that I am.

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      my0001 

      6 months ago

      I'm currently in an erelationship. although we've never met in person; i'm head over heels in love with her.

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      aika 

      6 months ago

      I've had a crush on a girl i met on twitter for the past two years abd a year ago i actually Did confess to her abd a little while later she told me she liked me too but i am a pussy and i was too afraid of what would happe if i told her i still liked her then so i justvmade some dumb excuse... Now a year later, im deeply in love with her still we're basically best friends now but... I wont ever be able to tell her because she has since moved on and has a crush on a girl she knows irl...any one has any solution for my problem lol

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      Charles 

      6 months ago

      My story is a long one. And by long I mean about twelve years long. I met a girl online when I was eleven years old on a chat game. Since we were kids and what not we "dated" for a while and she decided to tell her friends about me. One of them was a girl that for some reason I liked more than anyone I have ever met. Me and the other girl "broke up" and I started "dating" her friend. I can't remember when but I don't think a year passed before I told her I was in love with her. Years go past, we get older, relationships form with people you actually see. I had real girlfriends and she had real boyfriends. The problem for me was that nothing ever lasted. I would break up with someone or get dumped, talk to my best friend on the Internet and all these feelings would sprout up reminding me of this amazing woman. If I got drunk I would tell her I was still in love with her which she hated by the way. No one likes a drunk guy. We did stop talking for about a year. She said she couldn't be my friend anymore and it wasn't until afterwards that she told me it was because of her boyfriends. I guess every time we started talking she would break up with them. Getting to the end, she has just finished her degree last year, and I'm currently in my first year. We don't live very far from each other, but we're both cheap and refuse to pay $500 for a back and forth ticket. However, a friend of mine is making a trip to Montreal this summer which is a halfway point, and asked if I wanted to go. I said maybe. I asked the girl online if she would meet me there and she said yes so I told my buddy I was all in. Now the reason I was looking at this article is because I'm scared out of my mind. I knew her for twelve years. I'm now 23 and she is 22. I'm scared because the love I think I feel may turn out to be nothing. I'm afraid that I fell in love with an idea of who she is and I really almost called off the trip. I want to fall in love with this girl and I mean real love. I can look at her picture, snap chat video and what not, but I need to know if she's the one. I know the chances of us working out is slim. I couldn't ask her to uproot her life and come back with me and I'm sure she wouldn't ask me either. But really, just seeing her would be worth it because then I would know. It's better than not knowing if I missed out something real. And hey if she's not the one than maybe I can finally move on and stop sabotaging my relationships.

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      kenny 

      7 months ago

      I have a girl that lives in el salvador. she likes me enough that she considered marrying me but has since done a 180 and doesn't want a relationship. nothing I do will work. i really do love her....but now I am friend zoned. I would relocate to do salvador and make 3 dollars an hour if I had to to be with her. I love her unconditionally, even if she chooses another man over me. it doesn't matter though. nothing I can do to save the relationship.

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      spring B 

      7 months ago

      Rockxee I think If man like woman never wanted to lose touch,,but he lost you about 3 months without any news from him I think it's better for you stop thinking,,It sounds funny yes you are right but I changed my opinion about someone you meet on internet if he really loves or at least likes you it's possible to have future with that guy but he has to try to stay in touch every day If you.can send messages for him,send it you need to see what is he respond

      I wish the best of luck for you

    • profile image

      spring B 

      7 months ago

      I don't know about my feelings,I really thought internet relationship is so funny,It was my first experience he showed me his interest and made love for me at first,,everyday we had video call but when he understood I liked him he was changed and didn't send me messages or showed his interest,,,made me thought it is just playing,,we live different country,,I had a argued a lot because of his behavior sometimes he was kind of weird, but I just know maybe I did wrong things I am interested in this new relationship because it's interesting if you sure your gf or bf likes you anyway I sent him messages for a week but he isn't warm with me or wanted show he likes me at least,,,,I read articles because I've been learning English I chose to read these articles to find out it's my problem or he really has problem and wasn't interested in me enough,,If someone likes you he/she never wants to lose touch I think we can understand but Im sure,,If you aren't in touch everyday you lose your interest too

      It was true about me If I like someone,,,,,,,just his kind his interests can make me different when I see his cold feeling as ice I understand it's the best way and don't care he wanted to lose me but If you find someone who can't lose touch and always wanted to stay in touch It's worth the risk even you are far from each other

      but If you understand someone doesn't respect you or want to play let him\her go it's my opinion,also I don't have really good days these days and need to have someone who's honest

      honestly is really important things if someone wants always to say lies,,I think it's easy to understand who like us who want us,,who can't lose us

      I think everybody deserves love,,respect,,kindness,and you have to care about your happiness If someone wants to have us

      he really cares about your happiness because he want to have in real life

      But I didn't hurt,,I know I really care about my pride

      honestly If I just understand he likes me and changed start to show me his interest I will change anyway I have the best luck for him because Its not his fault If he doesn't love/like me

    • profile image

      Rockxee 

      7 months ago

      Hi I'm rockxee ,I have fallen in live too deeply in a virtual online relationship .I know it sounds funny but to be honest I took that relationship seriously coz I'm hoping that one day we'll meet each other and continue what we have started via online , sad to say that we ended up after a couple of months..and its almost 3 mos. I'm still here stuck up and still feeling inlove with him ...what should I do to heal my broken pieces. ?

    • profile image

      Shine 

      7 months ago

      Heyy i m a girl and at this time i m in love with a person who belong from an another state so far from me... We meet on facebook. He send me friend request an then we became friends after a time period he proposed me first i was say no then i was accept his proposal bcz i was thought he is different to another guys at this time we are in a relationship we love eachother still we don't see and meet eachother because its my first experience that's why i m confused with this thing that it's my real feelings of love to him or it's just an attraction..plz help me?

    • profile image

      Shine 

      7 months ago

      Heyy i m a girl and at this time i m in love with a person who belong from an another state so far from me... We meet on facebook. He send me friend request an then we became friends after a time period he proposed me first i was say no then i was accept his proposal bcz i was thought he is different to another guys at this time we are in a relationship we love eachother still we don't see and meet eachother because its my first experience that's why i m confused with this thing that it's my real feelings of love to him or it's just an attraction..plz help me?

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      7 months ago

      I think I've fallen for this guy. We play multiplayer video games together, and it's been really fun getting to know him. He goes to my school and church, but we've never spoken because, 1) he doesn't speak very much English, and 2) he's pretty popular, whereas I am... not. I'm not sure if it'll mess up the relationship we have if I introduce myself in person. I've been trying to get the courage to talk to him, but every chance I get I haven't taken. I'm not scared of seeming odd, but I am scared that he won't be the person I think he is...

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      7 months ago

      Ive met this guy online.we chatted a few times started to talk about more serious thing and i started to have feelings for him.We both fell in love but he proclaims he loves me but sends me pictures of some one else

      Every time things happened with him but i get the feeling hes lying to me

      Im also not sure if hes using me but hes willing to move from hes country to mine to be with me.again i have not met him in person but he can say the sweetest text and voice chats but still i dont knowif hes using me.i really do love him but

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      Cherry 

      8 months ago

      I meet a man online for the few days a go and we started serious messaging via on email coz he like we talk there and now while we message everyday and one time he said i have to block my account in dating site coz he like to be serious to each other which is he like me and after 4 days we chatting he said he have to plan to visit me in philipinnes this month and now im so excited i did not know what i feel during the time when i read his message im so happy excited to reply and now he asking me for give him a reason for arrange plan very soon and i did not understand if he is serious

    • profile image

      Michelle 

      8 months ago

      I met a man online. Knew him 3 weeks. We messaged each other for hours, then had video chat. We started blowing kisses, then it became intimate. It was the first time for me on video chat (I am over 18). I was so confused by my emotions afterwards. Really desperately wanted to talk with him. He shut me out, didn't respond to messages. Suddenly I turned into this needy person, desperately messaging because I so needed to talk with him. In the end he blocked me. I have been left heartbroken.

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      QueenRigel 

      8 months ago

      This article is helpful. I need it it so much right now because i think im fallin in love with this person i met online. Never met him personally since we live in different continents and I cant say he is serious. I should stop talking to him right? But i dont want to just disappear.

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      Linda 

      8 months ago

      Thanks so much for your opinions. It’s so sad that people can prey on women or men’s hearts for there own selfish reasons and feel it’s justified. Then they try to place the guilt on you when you say how you feel. Sick part is that’s not your nature so it hurts terribly.

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      8 months ago

      Linda, it's never a good sign when a guy doesn't want to video chat or finds excuses to not show himself. To me, the reason most often is that he has misrepresented his age or any details about himself physically.

      If you feel it appropriate, you could tell him that it doesn't matter if he has misrepresented himself before. That, you just want him to be honest now, in the present. That, you will overlook what he may have said in the past.

      That may get him to confess if that indeed is the reason for his avoidance.

      Another reason could be that he is a family man looking at this as a casual flirting thing, rather than anything more substantial. And so when you ask to video chat, he may be like, "How can I reveal myself? I have a family and this may not be good for me." Maybe he's not serious into this at all.

      The last thing that comes to mind is that he may be an introvert, the shy sort, who doesn't like to put himself up for judgment. If that's the case, see if reassurance about his looks not mattering helps?

      Either way, you got to find closure to this fast. This isn't fair to you at all. Hope you find your answers soon enough. Good luck!

    • profile image

      Linda 

      8 months ago

      I met a man on an online dating site about two years ago. We have never met he said a contract took him to South Africa. Always the contract is delayed and he never gets home as promised. He has not taken me for any money, but my doubts and fears are there. When I asked to do a video chat he says his phone and laptop aren’t working. He’s asked me to do some administrative work for him and constantly professes

      His love. I’m lost as to what to do. I want to believe him but my trust is slim to nil.

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      8 months ago

      @Sandy, if a guy doesn't want to show himself on video chat, that most likely is because he misrepresented himself as to who he truly is. Maybe he lied about his age or his looks or who knows, other details too.

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      Boogie56ace 

      8 months ago

      I'm falling for someone now it's kinda crazy. I've talked to people online before and have had a few relationships in real life from it. But I haven't met this girl yet and she's real not a catfish. We video chatted and we both been through bad relationships as everyone. We are not official or anything but we are talking about moving together already. I don't know I'm not scared of the heartbroken stuff. It sucks but if you want someone or something you try to get it. Sometimes you have to deal with repercussions you don't want. But if it's successful and does work I'll be happy so it's worth the risk. I'd say for people new to the online scene or just trying it no matter the platform beware of scammers and liars. They are out here. Just use your best judgment of people. It's not easy to build a relationship in any form.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      8 months ago

      I (20) am currently talking to a girl the same age as me that lives in the same state but still quite far. We are very similar and we have both confessed our feelings for each other. We both are extremely honest with each other and have never had a problem accepting each other for our past downfalls. We have video chatted and in three weeks she will be here in town to meet me. I’ve never had such an anxious feeling of anticipating the feeling of inadequacy or the likes of it. She told me she hasn’t had anyone care about her as much as I say I do, and I’m glad to be that person for her. In all honestly, I feel like she may not even come, or something will happen, causing this whole thing to disappear. As each day passes I grow ever more nervous and paranoid about it, as if I can’t accept the reality of the situation. I’m not new to long distance, but this is new.

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      Pat 

      8 months ago

      I'm dating a guy online for the past few months .I have fallen for this guy and he proclaim he loves me too but he sends me pics of not himself.ive also given him money .on my heart I knows he loves me dearly cause he says he wants to leave everything behind and have a life with me.how sure can I be as I have this uneasy feeling.i now have asked him to go on Skype or video chat but ever since I asked him he's not responding .why?

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      Shubhi0910 

      8 months ago

      I've been committed to my partner since 1 year and 3 months. We found each other on instagram which started through a random friend request. There is ABSOLUTELY no trust issues! We can never think of even leaving each other.. And we've never met. I'll be leaving abroad for my studies and I don't know when we're going to meet in real. Sometimes it's so frustrating and I feel to end this relationship up but I cannot. I feel jealous that 1 year has been passed and we've just virtually lived our 1 year of relationship comparing to what other couples do generally! Even if we meet now for few days only.. Our next meeting would be in another year. I don't know how will this relationship even work.

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      Anonymous 

      8 months ago

      I have fallen in love with a guy from Brazil. We both have work and school so its hard to talk everyday we try to but we mostly talk every other day. The thing is he won't be coming to my area until next year, and I can't afford to go there before that. I really like him, we haven't video chat yet, but only because he isn't fluent yet. I don't know maybe when we start video chatting everything will seem easier, but right now, it kind of feels like its tearing me apart. I really like him and definitely don't want to say goodbye, but at the same time, it feels like I might have to. I just don't know what to do from here.

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      Me 

      8 months ago

      Yes i have fallwn in love with someone i never met in person but we video chat

    • profile image

      Elizabeth 

      8 months ago

      I had known this one guy for about 4 years now, we felt inlove and was head over heals over each other, he felt like my dream man, everything felt so real between us, but I got jealous because of him chatting with other girls, and that hurt me a lot, I asked him to leave them alone and make me the first priority in his life, not other girls, because we have so much in common and we're so inlove, and he said that he will delete them, but then I found out that he lied and he lied over and over, he still talks to girls and he says he would stop talking to them if we meet, and I will meet him this year, it's just so difficult, I'm an introvert and I don't know what to tell him or to say to him if we meet, it's a difficult situation for me. But everything that we've shared, the late nights when we stay awake, the long paragraphs, everything felt so real for me and it feels like we have already met and it feels like we're meant for each other, but I don't know what to say to him so that he would stop talking with them. I first want him to stop communicating with them before we meet. Can anyone give me advice please?

    • profile image

      Sydney 

      8 months ago

      I'm not sure if I have completely fallen for him but I love him and I miss him when he's not online. I miss his voice when I'm can't reach him. We've been constantly chatting and talking over d phone for more than a year now. We've had ups and downs, I think we're both scared of what this 'relationship' would turn out to me.. I'm comfortable with telling him stuffs I haven't told anyone else, probably cos it's easier nuh looking at him... most times I wonder if it's normal to feel this way and I don't know if I can be in any relationship until I have seen him.

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      Mark, 

      9 months ago

      The girl that im seeing currently, I have never met. In fact, we are in a long distance relationship and have been on for 7 months. Weve had our ups and downs, but lately its been going down, then coming back up again. There are certain things to me that raises the red flag, but i got to remain faithful and have trust in her. But sometimes shes sweet as apple pie and then cold as ice. Its just weird because shes in Asia and i’m here in the US and we video chat for about 45minutes to an hour everyday since july of last year. But i really like her and she likes me, were planning on meeting this year formthe first time. I just hope things go well.

    • profile image

      asdfgh 

      9 months ago

      Hello

      I did fallen love with someone that I have never met.

      We met from a site. We have been talking for one year. There was a time that made our friendship became not good. We solved everything.

      The worst part I found that he likes a girl from the internet as well, sometimes I asked him why don't you tell her abt your feeling? He doesn't want make his relationship with her become awkward and he thinks before he meet her they are just friends.

      I have never told him abt my feeling bcs I know it would destroy our friendship. I'm always listen to his story abt her and anything.

      Somehow, I know that make me looks pity. But again there is one thing which make me different with him, but not with him and that girl. Yes, my religion. I'm a muslim and he is not. I know I should not have this feeling, but no one knows when this lovely feeling comes..

      I do! I'm trying to get over this feeling until today. I bravely talk with him every day to face off my fear..even though sometimes it's hurt and I feel sad.

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      clady 

      9 months ago

      In life dont confess love with a stupid ldenty

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      aanne 

      9 months ago

      I don't know if i can say im falling in love with a stranger.

      my boss before in my previous job and his girl ask me for a help, his girlfriend have another guy they call it sponsor, her sponso want to get buy a second hand car and she said if they get the car she will leave a sponsor, and my heart so guilty if that will happened so i decided to say the truth to the sponsored and he said i already know and that we started to have an conversation and suddenly i felt or i don't know what i feel and i don't how to explain what i feel.

      do you think im falling in love with a stranger?

    • profile image

      Mae Ann 

      9 months ago

      Hello , i have this guy from poland,we talked almost 5 years just in facebook,we shared pictures and sometimes we do video call..i'm a single mom..

      He is sweet and kind..but after a year he changed ,he changed into arrogant,rude sometimes and called me in different names...but i was forgave him even his not sorry,i think i fall in love to this guy..i will always missed him everyday i feel sad when he can write me back,i never missed a single dday not to think of him..

      Last 2014 i meet my friend bf an Australian guy..i am a filipina anyway.he thinks that my friend bf is my lover.after that he block me on facebook after a year his back and we talked again..his mad and never believed in my explanations about this Australian guy friend bf..he believe it was my bf..am tired explaining ...until one day he called me so many names i was sad..i was hurt...but even that forget everything and we start in new beggining..but he always reminds me this Australian guy again..but then again for me it was okay..i know he just jealous..

      And now we have plans to meet this year hoping to see him in real..

      But his getting cold to me again.i was so hurt.i feel like giving up but i can't.. I love him..i waited for him almost 5 years...

      Hope you can help me with this.

      Thank you!

    • profile image

      Audrey Evergreen 

      10 months ago

      I've met this man online two and half months ago . When he asked for friend's request, I said ok, just friends. We talked about everything.... from geography to other things.... but we never talk about love. Until one day, I was scammed by someone... he was one of my friends help me getting through this hard times... then not long after that incident, he told me how he feel about me and want me to move in with him to US. He told me he loves me and want me to give him a chance to take care of me. I told him I can't as I have to be here... but he said that he will support me the much that he could when I visit him.Almost every day he will text me to wish me good day and good night ... though it's simple, I was touched by his sincerity. Sometimes he will say that he loves me. When I didn't receive his mails.... I kind of missed him. It's just that maybe of the feeling that grows with the friendship... I think yes, one would fall in love with someone whom haven't met in real life but met online...

    • profile image

      MBALI 

      10 months ago

      Hi...

      Well I think I'm losing my mind over this guy I met online and I think I might be headed for a heartbreak. I need advises on getting over this guy.

      When I met this guy in September I wasn't looking to dating anyone but to make new friends which was clear on my profile. He noted that and said he'll respect that. We chatted and gave him my Whatsapp numbers, at that time he just relocated in SA from the States inline of work. He Whatsapp me soon after I gave him my numbers, and I was turned off by his dp, showing of is upper body which gave me wrong impression about him. I basically killed our conversation, I ignored his greeting texts on two occasions. Then he stopped texting me till about a month later and I still gave him the lame "hi and bye" type of a response. Then two months later (This very month 9th of December @13:31) he Whatsapp' me and I responded friendly and that's when everything changed. We chatted and I even forgotten he was in SA, he reminded me that he told me when he met me online, and probably I wasn't paying attention. He said.

      We spoke for hours over the phone, bonded each day ever since. We love the same things, listen to the same music and have the same dreams. We think alike. He thinks I'm he's soul mate and I think so too. Just when I thought he's my male version, he basically mentioned I'm his female version.

      I find myself thinking about him more than I should, check my texts every minute hoping he'll texts or call. I talk to myself and to God about him. I care for him more than he'll ever know. We have planned to meet up on the 31st and spend New year's eve together. But for these passed days he's been acting strange. He doesn't read my Whatsapp even when he's on Whatsapp the whole time and only gets back to me the following morning without saying anything but just a normal greeting and he's unavailable again to respond to my teXts. I spoke to him and this is our conversation.

      [12/26, 17:13] ~*: U busy

      [12/26, 17:05] Mbali: No I'm not busy

      [12/26, 17:10] ~*: Wyd then

      [12/26, 17:11] Mbali: Nothing... just thinking and trying to make of things.

      [12/26, 17:11] ~*: Sense of what

      [12/26, 17:15] Mbali: Your character. I'm actually hoping for the wisdom to understanding you, cause I'm sure as hell I don't.

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      11 months ago

      Hi "DingusMcDoogle,"

      I know exactly what you are going through, but no one can really answer that question? Love, whether real or online, is a gamble - it could work out perfectly, as you envision it and hope for, or you could end up being disappointed.

      However, be optimistic and do as you are doing and let life lead the way. If both of you feel the same way and share the same intensity and feel equally committed, then you may end up being a couple in real life eventually, so all the best and keep us posted on how it goes for you. Much love and best wishes :)

    • profile image

      DingusMcDoogle 

      11 months ago

      Hi,

      I liked your post,

      I met this man that lives in Aguascalientes, Mexico. I met him through a video game called World of warcraft about 2 years ago. I went through some tough stuff mebtally, but he helped me through it all and i had done the same for him. Him and i have never had this bond before. We started talking more and more and we eventually just became a couple. I never thought i could love someone like this. I have yet to meet him, but i honestly love him to hell and back. We talk everyday and tell each other how nuch wr love each other over skype, snapchat, and phonecalls. Do you think this will last? Should i bet all of my money on this guy i have never met online?

    • profile image

      Vincent4372 

      11 months ago

      Thanks Shil1879, I will do that.

    • profile image

      Loveishard 

      11 months ago

      I never met him but he is my everything. We met on instagram 3 months ago and since then never stoped talking. I never thought i would fall in love with him. I didnt even know what he looked like. But it was very fast. One month and we were in love. Its been now two months i love him so much. Cant wait to meet him. Is this gonna last?

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      11 months ago

      Hi,

      Nice post..

      I recently met a guy on internet...our views match a lot we have so much in common he says he loves me...but the thing is he hasn't seen me yet...although I saw him in his mom's account...does he really love me?

    • profile image

      Nancy 

      11 months ago

      Yes just started he found me Facebook both widowed he has son I am falling for him headlines in Germany.. Me Arizona. It's been about a month he me. He cares. Can't believe he. met someone like. Me. His son even texts me on. Han ngoutscalls me mom. Xmas is conning e mention. Once he might come at X mas. But. He hasn't said. again. Am falling. For him as he has me. But Germany a istance please advise

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      11 months ago

      Wow, Vince. I loved reading your comment. You are mature and know your feelings well. You sure have something going on here, but give her time to process her feelings, which I can see you are doing.

      It may take a while for her to get over her fears and also to process her emotions. Am sure you know you'd need to give her that time and space to resolve it in her own mind on her own.

      Well, best of luck. Keep us posted on how things pan out between you two, and thanks for sharing your story with us :)

    • profile image

      Vince4372 

      11 months ago

      I have fallen in love with someone very special to me! We connected through FB. Funny thing is I know her cousins and she lives in Italy and I live in Florida. We have talked for months. Chat, video, pics, you name it! I’ve falling in love for who she is! People are not real anymore and expect instant gratification theses days and never want to get to know each other like we have done! I trust her. She’s a good person I know! I love her laugh, her smile, her personality, her smart ass ways and she likes to be sarcastic, and her eyes make me melt. And everything she has made me feel that her soul is beautiful. I feel she is my soulmate! I can’t stop thinking about her all the time. We always text all day and talk, video when we can on WhatsApp! I told her I would pay for her flight. She said she doesn’t want my money! How sweet is that! Today’s world people are so superficial and she’s not at all. I would still give her the money when she comes!

      Today she asked me if when I say love you to her if it was I am in love with her or is it just affection! Well, I let her have it like this!

      You may think I’m crazy, but falling in love with someone isn’t a superficial thing, lust is superficial and once you get past the initial external canvas, everything else is exactly the same.

      Falling in love with someone starts with getting to know them and having deep conversations with one another. Does it really matter if these conversations are by email, on the telephone, video chat and via WhatsApp? No…

      The conversations make us laugh and smile and you soon begin to open up and share your thoughts and feelings, your likes and dislikes, your dreams and expectations, your secrets and insecurities, you feel like you can talk to her about absolutely anything and you feel comfortable expressing yourself and being yourself with her. You have many things in common and everything feels natural and you feel at ease when talking to her.

      I find myself thinking about you, despite trying not to! I am checking my phone constantly, waiting for your name to pop up to alert you of a text message and when it comes, your heart skips a beat with excitement, it drives me crazy that this is consuming my thoughts, it is torturous that you aren’t just 5 minutes away and I feel a longing and desire to be with you! I may be crazy! But I know we have 2 different lives right now, so it makes it hard some days cause I just want to feel this next to you and fill the real thing in person Will it be mutual?

      Her response was, Sorry honey, you right i am distracted, but i went out from My house thinking about It. Right now it's My constantly thought. I have to know, i need to know because i am scared about all these thoughts and feelings. I think about Them every day. I say to myself...i Will go to Florida, to see him. Would i do it? Should i do It? I don't know. I am afraid Of changing... I Just need to know.

      So I told her Everyone is afraid of change! It’s scary even looking for a new job! It’s called life. It even bothered me that you asked me are my friends trying to hook me up? If they were, I would not being doing this affection with you and all of our craziness, sarcastic sayings! Why do people fall in love with someone? Different reasons all the time. We have this connection for a reason. Maybe it’s God? Maybe it’s faith? People meet from all kinds of places all the time. Everything happens a for a reason! How do they do it? Talk about it tomorrow. I’m going to work. My stomach gets butterflies. I’m jealous I can’t be with you! Have a good night.

      This made me even crazier for her. She has really opened her heart to me and I know she’s feeling the same way. And understand she’s scared. We all would be. I really want her to come and stay with me for a while and feel this in person! I can’t wait to see her text, or talk to her or video chat. I would even stay home and wait! She give me life and makes me feel good about myself. I have never felt this way about someone before and we are 1000’s of miles apart!

    • profile image

      DepressedGuy 

      11 months ago

      I'm a bisexual guy who met another bisexual guy on a gay app called Surge in August of 2016.It was only online we never met in person and only had two phone conversations in the 6 months we knew one another.We quickly fell for each other and professed our love for the other and all could not have been better,I walked around with a smile on my face all the time I was just so happy and always had optimism and belief that we would meet in person some day. However we ran into the issue of were we both on the same page as far as where we wanted things to go,I felt as though he was not as committed as me because he always had time to go visit family and mates on his days off when he wasnt working or sleeping but in 6 months he never made the effort to meet me in person, whenever we arranged he forgot,he overslept ,he got called into work. Needless to say it didnt work out because he said he cant cope with my doubts and me saying that he does not care about me or the relationship now there is no communication between us and I am left with all these unanswered questions:Was it real? Did he mean what he said? Was I wrong to doubt? Did I ruin things?Does he still love me if he ever did?,Does he regret what happened?Is he hurting like me?,Is he confused like me?Does he still think about me?etc etc etc just never ending questions niggling away ,What can I do?

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      11 months ago

      Hi Patty,

      I'd just advise you to verify he is who he says he is. Like is he really a soldier? For some reason, some guys play a role, take on a persona that's not really them. The best way to know for sure is to ask to video chat with him and ask for pictures of him.

      Basically, just make sure everything adds up with what he says, and when in doubt, don't hesitate to ask so you can be reassured about your doubts. It saves you disappointment later on.

      Assuming you've already done that and everything checks out, all you can do is chat and hope for the best. Hope everything goes well for you. Best of luck!

    • profile image

      Patty 

      11 months ago

      I m texting with a guy that in Afghanistan a. Soldier very nice lookin we been talking for about a month he tell me he loves me and I'm his world could this be true or m I in for a heart break

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      11 months ago

      Hi "Danny 787,"

      Give it time. Continue supporting her as you are doing. With all the horrible things that you've stated that she's dealing with, she needs that suppport. Be there for her, but that's about all you can do for the moment.

      You are just 15 and separated by thousands of miles. Work towards your education and getting a good job in parallel with your relationship. A job would help you collect funds for visiting her and also help you take this forward if it progresses and endures.

      There is nothing wrong in feeling like you do. Am sure you care deeply for her and that's perfectly fine. You are already showing how much you care and love her by being there for her over chat and helping her emotionally. Keep doing that. Best of luck!

    • profile image

      Danny 787 

      11 months ago

      Hi Shil1978! I read your article above^^ It was very good! I sent you an email, but you didn't answer. (My email was about the girl from America and I) But I understand, you being a mother and all, that you don't have infinite time on your hands:) Anyways, if you didn't read my email, let me bring you up to speed:

      I met a girl online, and we instantly hit it off. She's everything I could want in a girl, and so much more. She makes me feel how no girl has made me feel before. The only reason I can't be with her right now is that she's American and I'm Australian. Anyway, we're both 15, have very positive attitudes, and love to chat to each other. After chatting for weeks, I think I'm in love with her. Judging from how she says, "ilyyyyyy" (i love youuuu) and "there are so many things about you I love" and the fact that she has written huge paragraphs in iMessages saying all the things she loves about me (I have, too :)) then I think she loves me too. I just need some help. She self-harms. She's had a horrible past, and she self-harms. I feel helpless, but I tell her everything I can. She promises one day we will be together. We've sent pictures, videos, and so much more to each other. I think I love her. Is that bad? How can I go and be with her, if my family sorta can't afford to go America right now? Her parents abuse her, and I feel bad for her. But she is amazing-absolutely EVERYTHING I want in a girl. I feel so privileged to have met her. But, I know you may be thinking we're going to fast, but when I asked her this, she said "I always go fast with things!" (or something like that). But, how can I show her JUST how much I love her? Is it okay that I love her even though she is thousands of kilometers away? I just have so many warm feelings for her I can't explain it. She is so brave, so loving, so caring. Can you help me Shil1978?

      Thank you so much,

      Danny

    • profile image

      NA 

      11 months ago

      I have fallen in love with someone on the internet and she clAims that she loves me as well always reinforcing that she is in the pictures but because she works for the government she can’t talk on the phone or send me videos of her at all at least till we meet it’s almost gonna be a year that we have been talking and still haven’t met because of circumstances on her side. She has a child too and she includes me and wants us to be together for ever but is it too good to be true ?

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      11 months ago

      @ "Tshepiso marvellous." Slow down a bit and re-evaluate your feelings like 6 months from now. That would give you time to evaluate your own feelings and whether his feelings are indeed strong or momentary.

      As always, be cautious. Try and find out he's representing himself correctly and not putting on a mask. If all boxes are ticked 6 months on, am sure you'd know what to do at that point, but don't rush into anything for now.

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      11 months ago

      @ "i cant say my name here that would be stupid." Maybe she likes you as a friend (for now). Don't be depressed about that. Work on the friendship, you never know where it might lead. You can't force someone to love you, but you can try getting the right chemistry going, which might lead to enduring love.

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      11 months ago

      @ Vukasin, you're just 15. Keep talking and interacting and see if you feel the same way you do going forward and if your feelings get stronger. Don't worry about what you can't control. Just work on the friendship for now. Hopefully, she'd feel just the way you do and if feelings remain consistent over a period of time, you'd both know it's meant to be.

    • profile image

      i cant say my name here that would be stupid 

      11 months ago

      i met this girl after i sent an email (i go to virtual school) and she responded and said she couldn't use her phone so she wanted to use google hangouts. after talking with her, i was completely in love with her. i asked if she had an Instagram and she said she did. We started talking on there and soon i go my cousin to ask if she liked me back. she said only as a friend and now im depressed. please tell me how to get her to like me!

    • profile image

      Tshepiso marvellous 

      12 months ago

      i dont remember meeting this other guy but we always talk over the phone and we r so in love sometimes i feel like it is to good to be true because he wants to marry me wen we meet i dnt want

      know wat to do i love him he tells me what i want to hear and he calls time and again(he wants to know how i am doing evry day tell me what to do

    • profile image

      Andrea 

      12 months ago

      We started talking on Facebook and I in all honesty still do know who he is, the info he gave me is inconclusive, can't track him down, phone number he gave me was from some land line out of state that he obviously didn't use. Anyway, we chatted every day for hours and the infatuation was strong

      He claimed to work out of the country and asked if I would move in with him when he got back.the words I love you came easily and quickly. The danger of online romance is, you fall in love with words, not actions. He about flipped out when I didn't trust him and called him out on the problems and doubts

      He asked me for money on 2 seperate occasions, which I denied him and he submarined, last time I heard from him was 10 days ago, without a word, just

      disappearedmy head knows better, but my heart is broken and I find myself thinking about him too much. Was it worth it? No. Before he did and asked for money for his children, he told me I would see him in December. Part of me still mourns and wants to believe that he is real and meet him. Devastating it is. I never thought you could fall in love with someone you never met, but I am head over heels for him

    • profile image

      Amy 

      12 months ago

      I'm a lesbian And been talking with a girl for the passed year, we tell eachother I love you and have such a deep connection it's crazy. My problem is that ive gained a lot of weight throughout the year so I'm afraid that she isn't going to feel the same once we meet. She has only seen pictures of me when i was so much thinner. I've told her I've gained weight and she doesn't seem too care but I'm very self conscience about it. We meet next week and I'm freaking out.

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shil1978 

      12 months ago

      Ann, sorry to hear how your experience went. Perhaps, he misrepresented himself in terms of age maybe and didn't want to be found out. Maybe, to him, it was just not deep enough to care.

      Either way, he should have been honest to you and had that one last chat so you didn't have to wonder and be left hanging. That's a very tough thing to deal with - the "not knowing." I'm sure you'd get over this in time. It sucks! One of the perils of online relationships.

    • profile image

      Ann 

      12 months ago

      Ive been talking to this guy on line for 4 months..we have hit it off like ive never seen..he is the one and i feel it in my gut..Im 50 and i do know what love is..I wouldn't say im in love with him..but he sure had pulled at my heart strings..well when we did finely decide to facetime he stopped calling me and got very cold..so now im so heart broken..Its the not knowing thats killing me..Ive sent him a few messages and he never responend, so now i just have to get over this crap.. and i will im sure..

    • profile image

      Jessica 

      12 months ago

      I know a couple who have been married for 15 years, and they met online

    • profile image

      Jess 

      12 months ago

      I met my girlfriend on accident on whatsapp a year ago, and now she’s coming to visit over Christmas into the new year. She’s literally the most amazing person I’ve ever met and of course I’ve seen catfish before so I was worried to start with but once she never denied FaceTiming me, it was actually me that was never keen on FaceTiming eachother until I was comfortable. She’s brought me out of my shell and I generally feel like she’s made me a better person! Online dating I’ve never thought much of as i thought it was a way for people to have fun or mess people who generally want to find love and settle down but my god I feel so lucky that I’ve met her. God bless the internet otherwise we would never of met.

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