Kari is a full-time blogger and ghostwriter. She enjoys writing about how to be happier in life and in love.
Wondering how to attract men to you in a positive way? A way that will have them viewing you as someone who makes them feel good about themselves? (Which is a great quality to have!)
Attracting men through their ego is a technique that works, and it works well!
That said, I think I should add a word of caution: as good as this technique is, don't use only this technique when trying to attract a man. You should have other techniques to go along with this one for a couple of reasons.
- If you got nothing else up your sleeve, he may start to question whether you are telling the truth to him since all you do is stroke his ego.
- You don't want him to become so big-headed that he becomes a jerk to you and everyone else around him.
How to Attract Men Through Their Ego
When you are looking at his ego there are three main parts of it that you want to focus on. His physical appearance, his personality, and his intelligence.
His Physical Appearance
Men want to be attractive to you physically. Many men worry about their looks and whether women will find them attractive or not. Men are surrounded with just as much pressure to be a standard look (which is supposed to equal attractive). They see male models and movie stars who women seem to love and compare themselves to them—just like us women do.
So, you need to let him know that HIS looks are just what you are looking for! There was probably something that attracted you to him—his eyes, his lips, his hands, or even something that is unique about him like his nose or chin. These are the things you can point out to him when you talk to him, and inflate his ego big time.
You don't have to be creepy about it, and you don't have to wait until the tenth date to say something; in fact, if you say it right in the first meeting he will remember that comment and appreciate it hugely!
For instance, if you meet a guy and you love his eyes—tell him that (minus the word love). Say something like "You have amazing eyes! You must have been told that a lot before right?" This does three things for you:
- It makes him feel good about his appearance: His ego feels good.
- It allows you to make the first move without him knowing it: You casually mentioned his eyes and after he processes that information and is attracted to you for making him feel good he will feel like he's the one pursuing you.
- You didn't come across as creepy or weird: If you would have said something like "Your eyes are so hot! Oh my god!" He may have got a little creeped out! But you took the subtle and sexy road.
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The thing to remember is not to lay it on to thick—especially if you are embellishing the truth a little. Telling him that he's got a gorgeous body when he's overweight may have the opposite effect you are going for. It could embarrass him and cause him to avoid you completely. Just stick to the truth and you will be fine.
Guys go out of their way to be the funny and likeable. In fact, many guys try so hard they become annoying! So if you are attracted to the guy because he's got a great personality then tell him or show him how much you like it (and stroke his ego).
You can outright tell him that he's funny or nice or sweet or charming or whatever! He will take those compliments in and feel like his efforts are paying off, and he will do more of the same things to really make you like him.
If you don't want to outright tell him then you can laugh at his jokes or give him a sweet smile when he's obviously trying to impress you. Respond positively to the things he says or does and he will feel good about himself.
But make sure you keep it real. Do not laugh insanely at his jokes that are not funny or he may start to wonder if you are being honest with him and, again, he may become embarrassed and start to avoid you. If his joke isn't funny, then make it a lighthearted situation instead of an uncomfortable one by not staring at him blankly, and not over exaggerating it, but instead letting him know that you appreciate his efforts either verbally or with your body language.
You know how guys don't like to ask for directions? Is it because he wants to figure it out himself? Actually, it's because he wants to prove that he can figure it out himself. (Hello EGO!) But most women will say,"Why don't you just stop and ask for directions!" and he hears, "You don't know how to find it so let's find someone who does!" This is a direct attack at his intelligence and capability to do things (his ego), and this is what you want to avoid.
Women have a great ability to attack a man's intelligence even if we don't know we are doing it! We think we are offering support and guidance and correction, but he is hearing that he can't do it or doesn't know how to do it right. It's a simple truth that women and men hear and say things differently and this is one of those truths. So when you meet a guy keep this in mind.
Correcting a guy later in a relationship is bad, but when you do it while trying to attract him it's worse. If you tell him that he's wrong at what he's doing then he will start to wonder if you think he's an idiot. He will obviously not feel like you are attracted to him if you think he's an idiot and he will avoid you so he doesn't have to feel bad.
So, if he is doing something in a way that you feel is completely wrong—do not correct him. You don't have to tell him that what he is doing is right, but don't tell him that he's wrong (unless you really have to). Chances are if he's doing something wrong he will figure it out on his own. You don't need to be the one who is telling him that he's not doing it right.
On the other hand, if he's doing something that's brilliantly right, then tell him that. This will make him feel like you view him as an intelligent guy who knows what he's doing. Common intelligent ego booster phrases would be something like "You really know what you are doing!" or "You make that look so easy!" He will love it when you say this to him and your chances of winning his attraction will increase tenfold.
So remember to attack these three aspects of his ego (appearance, personality, and intelligence) when trying to attract him. You will make him feel good about himself and good about you for doing so!
In the end, this is a great technique that makes you both feel good! There are many other ways to get a great guy though, so don't just use this as your only tactic.