Sabrina loves to write about love, life, and everything in-between in a candid yet humorous approach.
Love has lost most of its authenticity in recent times. Everywhere we turn, we're bombarded with self-help books and magazine articles about "attracting the right man" and "keeping our romance alive" but what does it really mean in a world where no one dates anymore? That's right, everyone's just "hanging out" or "talking" and most avoid trying to place a label on a good thing. But how good a thing can it be if you can't even verbalize your feelings about it? Our only two choices seem to be to learn the rules of the game or risk getting played. But maybe there's an even simpler solution..
Maybe the clear way to win this "game of love" is to never play in the first place, at least not according to society's rules. Society's rules are fairly simple for both men and women. A women must never show interest in a man because that scares him and makes him run away. A man on the other hand, must be the hunter who chases women until he eventually finds one worth keeping around for good. We all know our roles and have perfected them because that's what society expects of us. Women are the damsels in distress and men are the prince charmings who rescue us and we all live happily ever after. Probably not though.
There's other conflicting information out there too, like while we're all playing this game of love, we're also all supposed to be ourselves. Like we're supposed to be our real, authentic selves while trying to look uninterested in a guy who we're actually really interested in because we're afraid we'll looked too interested and he'll run off scared. It's quite confusing to say the least. There's a clear solution though, we can choose to leave the games behind for the kids and start being mature about finding true love.
How easy does dating become when we realize we're the ones who have been holding the cards all along? It's ridiculously simple! We're not waiting by the phone for a call or text because we know that it doesn't matter whether he does or not, we'll be fine either way. We're not afraid to say what we feel because we want to be true to ourselves instead of hiding in fear that he'll run off scared. Well guess what? You can't scare a good man away. That's right. You can call, text, and share too much information and he won't even hesitate to ask you out for date number two, three, or ten because he's the right man for you. That's a good test to try anyway. Be yourself, 100%, on every date, and see who sticks around. It's a good way to separate the riff raff from men who are the real deal.
There's also the fear that if you reveal too much about yourself too soon, you'll scare him off. Well if it takes so little to frighten him, you definitely know he's not the man you need in your life. Imagine you do somehow end up with this guy, you're going to be the one who's killing the spiders and catching the mice. A man who scares so easily does not fit the role of the protector that a real man is supposed to be. You're going to end up protecting him and comforting him when scary stuff happens so just be happy you dodged a bullet and found out quickly what kind of man you're dating because real men don't run, only scared little boys do.
We cease to be pawns in the game of love when we refuse to play at all. Life's way too short to find a life partner by pretending to be someone else. Remember what happened in the movie The Ugly Truth? When Katherine Heigl finally admitted to the seemingly perfect doctor that she is in fact a control freak who hates being feed like a child and has pretty much been lying to him the whole time? Yeah, he's pretty shocked and confused before he walks away because she totally misrepresented herself and got him to fall in love with someone who was completely different from who she really was. Moral of the story? You have to be yourself from the beginning and if you get the guy then great, if you don't, then he wasn't the guy for you and someone better is on the way!
Men are pretty simple creatures who usually appreciate honesty, If from the beginning, you lay all your cards on the table and say this is who I am, take it or leave it, they will do just that, no games necessary. And if they don't, well they know which way the door is so. They'll actually think you're a pretty daring and cool chick for being so honest and not playing any games. They're sick of games too. They just want to be loved for who they are, burps and all. They want someone who they can share stuff with who won't judge. Someone's who's there to listen when they've had a bad day. Dream girls are good and all, but dreams are just an illusion and this is reality where a real partner is needed to tread through life with.
Perfect Illusion by Lady Gaga
© 2016 GreenEyes1607
A. on April 24, 2018:
GreenEyes1607 (author) from USA on September 15, 2016:
I agree DashingScorpio! When we realize all this, we take our power back and learn that it really is all in our hands. What a revelation! lol
dashingscorpio from Chicago on August 22, 2016:
"How easy does dating become when we realize we're the ones who have been holding the cards all along? It's ridiculously simple!" - Very true!
If you have strategize or hide your feelings and thoughts to attract someone then you will never be happy. You shouldn't have to fool someone.
Be yourself and let the chips fall where they may.
Ultimately the goal is to find someone who will love you for you.
It's too bad most people don't realize until they are much older that they get to be "the driver" in their own lives . It's not about him or her. It's about you!
Each of us gets to (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
In order for him to be "the one" he'd have to see (you) as being "the one"!
One man's opinion!:)