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An Older Woman's Guide to a Young Man's Heart

Updated on August 23, 2017
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Fernando has been blogging for 3 years. He currently holds an associates degree in applied mathematics from College of the Desert.

So you're a woman. He's a man. A boy. Whatever you're into. It doesn't matter. Point is, he's younger than you. Why don't you just get at him if you are into him so badly?

Not so fast, there.

A lot of women are armed with misinformation that will lower their chances at reaping victory. Honestly, it isn't as hard as many of them think. Allow me to let you into the mind of a young male.

A wild cougar seeking his prey.
A wild cougar seeking his prey.

Honey, Forget the World

It doesn't matter how old you are. At least in today's society, age is just a number. However, even though age isn't a form of discrimination for you, you need to get the job done right. The first thing you should do is understand the fact that you shouldn't care about what others say.

There will be countless times where you'll be shamed for liking someone 8+ years younger than you. Thing is, we're not living in the 1990's anymore where most of us young bloods were babies. We are grown men. Whether you like it or not, we are probably a lot more man than a lot of men nowadays, though there are limitations to that statement because we are disadvantaged in regards to the fact that other older men actually lived longer.

We can't tell you that we've been weightlifting for over 15 years, but we can tell you that we are young and fit.

So, just get it in your head: before you can get at a young male, you need to stop feeling shameful for finding one attractive. Let us proceed to the next point I have cooked up for us.

How Young Guys Think

Ladies, this is going to be universal advice for any one of you that has to deal with a male, especially a Millennial male. We grew up knowing that we would end up doing something great in our lives. We were forced to, from birth, at least in the United States, to dream big and imagine life with a lot of money. So, it's only natural for a lot of women to assume young guys are complete jerks that are only in it for the fun. After all, you have everything that we desire.

Of course, ladies, don't get me wrong. You can have your suspicions. However, it would be a shame, if not a complete blunder, to assume all young meats are going to be a waste of time. On the contrary, they might teach you something about yourself you've never noticed. After all, they are still human, just like you, except they have less experience in this world. However, that doesn't mean their experiences aren't unique and pretty cool.

I've heard a lot of women say young guys think with their heads, and not the one above their shoulders. Although we do have two heads, they work as one.

Just because we have instruments of love doesn't mean we don't know what we are doing. We are biologically made to act certain ways, flirtatious if you haven't caught my drift yet, but once again all males are different. In the end, all young males are still people, just like you and me. Yes, I'm a young male myself, so just take my advice from here on out.

Let me go ahead and info-bomb you for a second, and in order to do so I will talk about a previous experience I had with an older woman. She was 29 years old, and she was super into me. I wasn't exactly into her, but I couldn't help but become fascinated by the fact that this lady was so into me, so I gave her a shot.

She paid rent for a house. She had a lot going for her as a Masters in Mathematics, especially at the age of 29. She was only 7 years older than me, and she was fairly attractive. However, things went downhill pretty quickly because she didn't understand how to attract me. After all, I'm not after the money.

I don't think any young male is after the money, really. Of course, let me clarify by saying if you do offer one of us young studs something in value, some of us may hesitate to say yes while others may actually take up the offer. Unfortunately, it is only but a temporary fix. You still haven't attracted us.

So this chick liked me. She had a great career going for her, but she made a fatal mistake. Well, a few, actually. Let's go over them.

Have you ever tried at it with a younger person before?

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Fatal Mistakes for Attracting Young Studs

1. Offering money.

Ladies, give me a break. Don't offer a guy money, and don't take him out to dinner and expect him to love you or something like that. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way and I am going to be speaking from personal experience. Us young guys aren't that hard to understand. We are growing up, and we are young adults. While we are in our 20's, we want to feel like men. We want to feel satisfied with our own egos, and the worst thing you could do is pay for everything. In the end, we aren't satisfied, and we feel misplaced. If you are playing for everything, you are pretty much asking for trouble. Once he gets used to it, he'll probably stop trying to impress you, realizing that just being himself is enough for you. Aside from that, you're dropping the ball because he is slowly losing respect for you, especially since you're too desperate for his donkey.

2. Being Too Pushy

Older women are infamous for this. Y'all are just way too experienced for our own good, and it's not a bad thing, really. Unfortunately, what this experience in life entails to is a load of bull. After all, you've probably experienced so much in your life you tire of stupidity and ignorance. Not only that, you probably won't have patience for a guy that still doesn't understand what credit is.

3. Being TOO Needy

Hey, not going to lie, I do like a lot of attention. However, we could easily feel suffocated, just like any other human being out there. Just because we're young doesn't mean we are at all any different. Of course, I could understand the argument that younger guys have the energy of a thousand stallions and mules combined, but we are still as human as Shrek, if he even is one -- oh wait, he's an ogre, just like you. Just kidding, I'm serious. So, unless you know what you're doing, please be respectful enough to not staple your young stud on the bed, because that's not fun.

4. Talking About Ex's

Should I even explain this one further? Ladies, step away from the bandwagon for a second. You shall not, and I repeat, shall not talk about your ex's around any male whatsoever. We don't want to feel like we have to compete with other guys, and we don't want to hear about how big some other dude's sausage is. Trust me, this is a major turn-off and only results in the largest failure in the world.

5. Being a Nymph and Not Mentioning It Earlier

For those of you that do not know what a nymph is, please look it up. No, I'm kidding. Let me elaborate what that is. A nymph is a person who is addicted to extracurricular activities involving the bed, or la cama, in my native language.

Not only is this weird as heck, it keeps us wondering why she's so crazy about us. After all, don't make us feel like just another one in the hit list. If you like us, great. If you just want another piece of meat, go away. Shoo.

A cougar laying down on the ground.
A cougar laying down on the ground.

6. Stressing Us Out With Your Work Problems

This already sounds like a marriage-type of relationship, really. Unfortunately, unless the guy really likes you or something, it's probably best that you don't talk too much about your professional life. After all, if the dude is like the majority of young dudes, it's weird enough knowing we're around an older lady. In that case, don't scare us off with professional problems. We don't know too much about that yet, and most of us are actually still trying to get through college or our own problems, really. I'm not saying it's completely wrong to talk a little bit about your work, but do so lightly. You might make one of these young studs feel inferior to you, or even scared of you. Just trust me on this one, even though it doesn't make sense.

7. NOT Being Single

Jesus Christ, this is one scary point. If you're not married, by all means, please proceed. However, the last thing any of us young guys would want is to know there's a grown man trying to beat the living ship out of us. We're trying hard to stay afloat as it is, so maybe you should take it easy on the hit list, yeah?

8. Having Regrets, Pushing Us Away, Pulling Us Later

One of my biggest pet peeves is having an older woman regret talking to me later just because I'm a young stud. This is ridiculously annoying. It's nearly impossible for me to do anything about it, and what upsets me the most is the fact that this person thinks I am incapable of moving ahead in life. What a total blow to a man's ego, I tell you!

If you do decide to back away from a young stud, please don't come back to him later just because you realize he was a lot more fun than the rest of the dudes that you find. It's annoying. If he allows you to come back, great. However, don't make it a habit.

9. Once Again, Not Letting Us Shine as Men

You know, this should be a universal law. Most, if not all, guys want to feel like a guy. Just like most girls want to feel like a girl, most of us want to feel like we're meaningful in a way. And yes, I'm LGBT-friendly here. Just being classy and traditional for the sake of this article.

Usually the best ways of approaching this is to allow the dude to pay once in a while, or to ask him about his opinion. Or, most importantly, asking him for help once in a while. I know a lot of guys my age that are very handy. We are young and we are here to help, so you might as well utilize this guy while he can walk, you know?

10: The Most Important One of All

Respect us. Look, ladies, I know there are a lot of stigmas out there about guys. I've heard them all, to be honest. There were times where I'd randomly be announced a possible f*ck boy. Guys, especially the young ones, are labeled so many things. And, unfortunately, it's not funny at all. We don't appreciate it. We hate it.

The least you can do, a Samaritan act, is to respect us as equal human beings. We might not be able to give birth, but if you treat us right, we will treat you like a queen.

With that said, let us go on to letting you know what you can do to keep us.

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The Fundamental Law of Catching Young Studs

Keep up with us.

  • Physically
  • Emotionally
  • Sexually
  • Intellectually
  • Creatively
  • Lifestyle

This is pretty self-explanatory. We are young.

Do tell us we look handsome. A lot of guys, especially me, like to be complimented. Just don't be creepy about it, and don't make yourself too needy. We catch onto that, quick.

Back rubs. We give them back too, but it's nice to know there are women out there that don't expect to do all of the receiving. Trust me, I've heard a bunch of stories of women that only get the young studs in order to receive their fantasies and whatnot. Honestly, sometimes you have to learn to give.

Talk to us about cars or whatever we're into. I know, I know. Cars is kind of an outdated, overused topic to talk to with guys. However, it's pretty effective. I personally know a lot of guys that are into cars.

However, it's not about the cars. It's about being genuine and friendly with your dude. Aside from that, you want to bond with him in a deeper level. Make him feel comfortable and show him that you want to talk with him about things he is deeply interested in. This will help create a bonding friendship/relationship/whatever-you-want kind of thing. This, no doubt, is one of the greater keys to a young guy's heart.

Take Off, Ladies

A Female Flying In The Air Through an Unknown Means
A Female Flying In The Air Through an Unknown Means

Whoever you are, ladies, I have armed you with a lot of information that will help you in your quest. Be yourself and try not to annoy the guy in any way. Of course, it is completely possible that my guide wasn't thorough enough or wasn't exactly complete. However, there is only so much I can put out there, because the rest is entirely up to you. Not only that, not all guys are the same.

I've learned that the hard way years ago, when I used to give my female friends advice. Not all guys are the same, and people do change. Do not be afraid of approaching what you want, and I promise you will receive what you desire.

Good luck, ladies. Let me know how it works out for you.

If you have any questions and are requesting personal responses to a story and/or situation with a younger guy, go ahead and shoot me a message or a comment and I will get back to you on a more personal level within a few days.

© 2017 Fernando Gonzalez

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    • fer-nie profile image
      Author

      Fernando Gonzalez 4 weeks ago from Riverside County, CA

      Thanks, Mary! I appreciate your feedback.

      I find all of this very interesting. It's true, the younger men just aren't ready. After all, they're still trying to figure out life and what they are doing. A lot of them, just like any person, really, by now have realized that even a college degree can do only so much for them. So far, it has been proven by trial and error that us, people, have the power to either allow ourselves to succeed or fail in whatever we do.

      This is a lot of stress for the young ones, especially when they're still trying to find their footing.

      So, I'm under the assumption that all of these pressures are keeping the young ones at bay, especially from dating others that have kids, and other obvious reasons of course. It's unfortunate, but I can't speak for everyone. There are a lot of hard working men out there, and you probably have a better chance at one that is out of college and has a full-time job. They, in my opinion, perhaps have a better chance at seeking something serious.

    • Mary Florence profile image

      Mary F 4 weeks ago

      In that case, go girl!!!

    • GARH608 profile image

      Pathways thru life 4 weeks ago from Mid West

      Well, personally, I cannot have any children. I already had 3. Some men may not even want children. My youngest just turned 17 this month.

    • Mary Florence profile image

      Mary F 4 weeks ago

      This is an A-M-A-Z-I-N-G article. But seems like dating a younger man is a lot of work. He wants a serious relationship but not too serious, while she is looking for something serious and probably even wants to settle down, get married and maybe have children yet that might seem drastic to the younger man. They aren't at the same level. I think younger men who aren't ready for something serious should get with older women past menopausal stage.

    • fer-nie profile image
      Author

      Fernando Gonzalez 4 weeks ago from Riverside County, CA

      In that case, maybe you should move on ahead and send him a friendly note like that! It's not going to hurt. :)

      Haha, good luck! Hopefully one of you breaks the nervous feelings and gets the point across!

    • GARH608 profile image

      Pathways thru life 4 weeks ago from Mid West

      He always seems to be around other co-workers. I am tempted to just write my "name, phone number and Lunch? Dinner? Movie?" on a post it note and stick it on the front of his shirt in passing. LOL

      Apparently, I am just as nervous as he is.

    • fer-nie profile image
      Author

      Fernando Gonzalez 4 weeks ago from Riverside County, CA

      @Garh, 'Pathways thru life',

      This is a very interesting situation. You're both locking eyes, and the sexual tension is only increasing. If I were to put myself in his shoes, especially with all of the feelings of being shy, it seems he might be waiting.

      I will admit I don't understand the situation clearly enough to hammer a great response, but I will try my best under one simple assumption: this is a classic case of 'he's too nervous to make the first move.' If I'm wrong, only you will know. However, likewise this response may help you.

      More or less, it is safe to say that 20% of guys will approach girls. Another 20% don't approach girls due to their own reasons. The remaining 60%, interestingly, is filled with guys waiting for the right moment.

      I have no doubt he is looking at you in the same way you are looking at him. Of course, just be careful about fully committing with him in mind, but do remind yourself that you might have to push your agenda little by little by talking more with him. Although it's evident there's some sexual tension, you still have to figure out what's on his mind, and guys aren't hard to figure out.

      In order to do this, there are a multitude of things you could do. The safest option, however, is to find ways to be around him and look at his body language. After a while of knowing he is attracted to you, you'll know what to do. If you want to kiss him, that's on you. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I mean, everyone has a little 'bad' in them once in a while, you know?

      Follow your gut. There's only so much I can say with minimal background information, but to be straight forward with you, you've sparked his curiosity and interest. If he is as nervous and shy as you say he is, help him out by either:

      1) Encouraging him by helping him make the first move. Get closer, talk to him. Lightly touch his body, like his shoulders or something. Tease him, play around. Touch his hair. Just don't be creepy about it, and remember: you're at work.

      2) Make the first move. It's fine to tell him how you feel, but be careful. You don't want to push this guy away. However, only you know if this will work. There are times when a guy just wants a girl to tell us how they feel. We sometimes tire of having to chase around. It'll be the best compliment if you were to make the first move.

      I'll leave the rest to you, but I'm sure you know your own situation better than I do. You have some good chances. Don't lose them. Good luck, and let me know how it works out!

    • fer-nie profile image
      Author

      Fernando Gonzalez 4 weeks ago from Riverside County, CA

      Paz,

      Thank you! I appreciate it. I wrote this article with my audience in mind. I do hope you don't exclude the younger generation whatsoever. I was hoping to enlighten people, and I'm glad this article is well on its way down that path.

      Cheers.

    • PazAndrade profile image

      Paz Andrade 4 weeks ago from Spain

      very informative and makes me want to date someone younger, great article!

    • GARH608 profile image

      Pathways thru life 4 weeks ago from Mid West

      Last week was the younger guys birthday that I am attracted to. I got him a birthday card, as we usually see each other at his employment, and I wanted to keep things subtle. The morning of his birthday, I got a phone call from my boss asking me to job coach a client on overnights. I went ahead and took the assignment, as this is usually the busiest time of the year. I ended up not giving him the card, in which I wrote my name, phone number and asking him out - because I would have to ask for a rain check or postponement until I was no longer working with the client on the overnight shift. I did not want him to feel rejected, as he appears quite shy. Rejecting him is not how I feel in the slightest. He has been staring at me for 2 to 2 1/2 months. My desire was to kiss him, but think that might be taking things too quickly.

      I just do not know how to proceed from here. Should I wait until he works out his own feelings of shyness? I get the feeling that he does not have any issues about our ages. He has mentioned that he wants someone that just shares the same loyalty as he does.

      He's very nice. He is a supervisor at one of my client's employments. He always tries to be helpful in talking to other co-workers, if necessary. Seriously, I appreciate him. Not all supervisors take the time to help their employees that have ADHD, Autism....and any learning disabilities, in which are the reasons why I am there.

      All that eye contact surely makes for some sexual attention to. I love just watching him be the team leader that he is.

      Well, please respond with any suggestions....Thanks....