How to Create a Perfect First Night at Your Place

Updated on August 24, 2018
savvydating profile image

Yves believes in creating charm, warmth, and romance in life. She gladly shares her favorite tips with all who desire quality relationships.

Welcome to my home...
Welcome to my home... | Source

First Things First

Sometimes having him over to your place for the first time can be a little nerve-racking, but it needn't be if you are prepared and if you have the right attitude. The last thing you want to do is entertain false expectations in your mind about what constitutes "a romantic evening." Forget about that. You'll only make yourself anxious for no good reason.

Your only goal, at this juncture, is to create a comfortable environment in your home where you linger over your meal, your wine, and your conversation. As an aside, please refrain from inviting a man over to your place early in the relationship. In other words, be selective about who you date and take your time about important decisions.

But back to the matter at hand. You've invited him over. Now what? How do you make the night special? First, get rid of the notion that you're supposed to burn candlesticks all over the place and have rose petals strewn on your bed. Please do not ever do the rose petal thing! Rather, your objective is to make your home welcoming and your meal appetizing. This isn't a honeymoon; it's a date. Dates are for enjoying one another's company....an opportunity to learn more about places he's been, what makes him tick and what interests you both have in common. If the chemistry is there, romance will follow.

This article explores the finer steps of creating a memorable, natural evening that isn't forced in any way. You really can have a stress-free evening as relaxing as a soft deep breath. All you must do is follow six simple guidelines.

Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.

— — Carolyn Gold Heilbrun

Step 1: Prepare a Light, Scrumptious Dinner

If you don't know anything about food, know this. Having a delicious meal is an intimate experience in itself. So even if you're not the greatest cook in the world, you need to understand that a homemade meal represents love. Luckily for you, there is no way to go wrong with my fail-safe Crock-Pot Lemon Chicken. It takes approximately 17 minutes of kitchen prep work: You chop some veggies, sprinkle some seasoning, plug the cord in the outlet and set the cooker on low. The men in my life really savor this dish, so don't feel guilty about using such an easy recipe.

On the other hand, if you know how to whip up a delicious meal in no time, then please do so. Just refrain from preparing anything too elaborate; it's best to keep things light. Besides, you'll need extra time to paint your toe nails and clean your house for the special night.

Now that you've made your house shine and your toenails pretty, it's time to think about the vegetables. I recommend a fresh spinach salad, tossed in olive oil, balsamic vinegar, pinon nuts, pepper, sauteed red or yellow pepper strips and feta cheese. Prepare the salad 15 minutes before dinner is served. As for the main course vegetable, that's where the carrots come in. You might also want to whip up a small amount of Basmati rice, with a dollop of butter, as a bed for your chicken breasts. A rice cooker can help you with that.

Yves Famous Crock-Pot Lemon Chicken

Seasoned chicken, in the crock pot, just before cooking and before the baby carrots have been added.
Seasoned chicken, in the crock pot, just before cooking and before the baby carrots have been added. | Source

Cook Time

Prep time: 15 min
Cook time: 4 hours
Ready in: 4 hours 15 min
Yields: 4 servings

Ingredients

  • 4 boneless chicken breasts
  • juice of 1 fresh lemon
  • 1 tsp. paprika
  • 1/3 cup soy sauce
  • 1/2 cup onion, chopped
  • 3 T. butter
  • 2 T. fresh parsley
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp. thyme
  • 1/2 cup dry white wine
  • 1 cup baby carrots
  • 1/2 cup chicken broth

Instructions

  1. Rinse chicken well, pat dry.
  2. Cut chicken breasts in half and place into Crock Pot.
  3. Squeeze lemon over chicken. Place remaining ingredients into the Crock-Pot.
  4. Cover. Cook 4 hours on high setting.
  5. After two hours, taste broth and add salt or chicken broth as needed. Replace lid and cook for another 2 hours.
  6. Pair your meal with a red Spanish Rioja or a Chianti. (White wine contains too much citrus which competes with the lemon chicken.)
  7. Serve meal with a French baguette, spinach salad and 2/3 cup of cooked Basmati rice. Spoon 1/4 c. broth from crock-pot over each plated serving.
3.3 stars from 3 ratings of Yves Lemon Chicken

Step Two: Create a Sensual, Interesting & Unique Music Playlist

Here comes the part where we discuss the finer points of making your home feel, well...sensual, as well as inviting. First of all, you must own good speakers. If you do not have quality speakers and if you're on a budget, it'll cost you about $100.00 to purchase a Bose II Mini Speaker. It's worth every penny. As for the music itself, you'll want to choose tracks that allow you to focus on the conversation. The music should be subtly sensual, interesting and unique.

The following are a few of my selections to get your creative juices flowing. The first selection is chill, but sensual; my 2nd pick is interesting with sensual overtones, while the 3rd selection is quite unique.

Unique

Interesting

Sensual

More About Music

In short, select music that is a bit "outside the box" and which can easily flow into the evening, beyond dinner and conversation. If it so happens that your date is a strict country fan, just be sure not to include "Low Friends in High Places" in your playlist. In no way can anyone seriously engage in sensual lovemaking with a song like that playing in the background. (Just saying.)

In any event, music is very personal, and it's best to listen to what we like. The point of Step Two is to put some imagination into which music selections have the capacity to encourage thoughtful, intriguing conversation, as well as delicious lovemaking later on. (By the way, if you're not familiar with Pandora or Spotify, I highly recommend you find out more about their service which easily and intuitively chooses music that speaks to the individual.)

Also keep in mind that instrumental music selections, interspersed with a few tracks containing lyrics, tend to work best when planning for a late evening. As we all know, music is song for the soul. Choose accordingly. And please, never play "sappy" music unless you want your date to run for the hills!

“We humans are a musical species no less than a linguistic one... And to this largely unconscious structural appreciation of music is added an often intense and profound emotional reaction to music.”

— Oliver Sacks, Author of Musicophilia

Step 3: Choose Your Outfit in Advance

Choosing the right outfit is easier than you think, but never wait until the last minute to decide what to wear! If you wait too long, everything will go haywire. You'll feel harried; you'll second guess yourself; you'll get sweaty and red in the face. What you wear is important, so please choose your outfit at least a day in advance. Okay. Thank goodness we got that straight! (Phew) Now back to the matter at hand...

Your goal is to wear something comfortable, but pretty. For your first evening together, choosing to wear a dress with a "touchable" fabric is a smart move. Men honestly relish a woman's femininity, and a dress allows you to show your femininity perfectly. Another excellent choice for the night is a stretchy skirt with a short-sleeve or no-sleeve top. (It doesn't hurt if the top tends to fall off the shoulders on occasion...if you catch my drift.) The idea, frankly, is to wear something you'll be able to easily slip out of later.

Yes, your tight jeans and pretty V-neck blouse are awfully cute, but who wants to struggle out of tight pants after a cozy dinner and conversation should you later decide to invite him into your bed? Nobody I know. So, keep your outfit simple. Wear delicate flat sandals. Keep your hair loose. And by the way, don't forget to wear sexy underwear. Beautiful undies make a man's heart sing, and a happy man makes for a thoughtful lover. Above all, you want a considerate lover.

Long story short, always choose clothing that is both classy and subtly sexy. Sexiness combined with class is a lethal combination, in a good way.

I dress to kill, but tastefully.

— Freddie Mercury
A pretty black dress.
A pretty black dress. | Source

Step 4: Own Interesting Books and Be a Good Conversationalist

The books you own tell a story about your life and your interests. If you happen to own a plethora of romantic paperbacks, you might want to pack them in a box, put them in your closet, and begin reading some classics, instructional how-to books, and a few biographies. Only then can you "display" your reading material. If you haven't read a book you choose to display in your bookcase or coffee table and he asks you about it, you're going to feel awfully foolish when you have nothing to say. In short, never own books for show. Read the books you buy. Let him see what interests you have (besides romance). He will enjoy learning more about the fascinating parts of your personality he didn't know about before.

Besides, a well-read person is a good conversationalist; a good conversationalist is an interesting person to be around. However, knowing "a lot of stuff" doesn't mean you can monopolize the conversation and get away with it. Instead, decide to be a good listener who has the ability to ask thought-provoking questions. In so doing, you can then more intelligently inject the conversation with follow-up, as well as letting him know more about "things you've learned" from books you've read and the life you've lived.

Here's a tip: Buy and leaf through "The Dangerous Book for Boys" by Hal and Conn Iggulden. Place the book on your coffee table. Hal and Conn's book contains a plethora of wonderful content such as Famous Battles, Juggling, Sampling Shakespeare, Skipping Stones, and so much more. Your date will enjoy leafing through the book while you fuss with your salad before dinner.

The Book of Boys: Great to have on your coffee table, for his reading pleasure while you're busy tossing the salad.
The Book of Boys: Great to have on your coffee table, for his reading pleasure while you're busy tossing the salad. | Source
A sample of the content inside The Dangerous Book for Boys. (Your date will love it)
A sample of the content inside The Dangerous Book for Boys. (Your date will love it)

An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.

— Ben Franklin

Step 5: Select Neutral Scents For Your Bedroom

It should go without saying, but please do not ever buy sweet candles for your first date night, or any other date night for that matter. (Men hate them.) Therefore, you would be wise to avoid vanilla candles like the plague.

What kind of scents do you want for your bedroom? Think neutral. Avoid anything too "out-there." For example, candles that smell like food, such as spice cake or cherry cobbler, are highly inappropriate for a romantic evening. Just don't go there, girlfriend. On the other spectrum are scents like patchouli---still too overwhelming. Yet surprisingly, natural peppermint or eucalyptus is acceptable to men; those two scents can safely be used in the guest and main bathrooms.

For your bedroom, however, think neutral with a hint of "masculine." The next time you go to a Home store, check out the candles; you'll have fun picking out exactly the right scents for your special date-night. One of my favorite candles is Tobacco Saffron, pictured below.

A perfect scent.(It does not smell like coconut)
A perfect scent.(It does not smell like coconut) | Source

...science says that the human circadian rhythm (the one that maintains our day/night cycle) is very sensitive to changes in light. Low light tells our bodies it’s time to relax, making us more at ease and reducing stress'''

— meltco.com

Step 6: Take a Deep Breath, Relax, Have Faith

Your date will be arriving soon. Now is the time to brush away any remaining anxiety that might possibly be lingering around you. The fact is, you've prepared well, having done everything you can to create a relaxed, beautiful evening. All that is left to do is trust that everything will work out just fine.

Most men really do appreciate your having put effort into the evening....and they just love, love, love a home-cooked meal. Your date will feel special and validated because you've put some real thought into making him feel comfortable. He will love that you listen; he will find your music stimulating; he will appreciate your charm. Your home will tell a story, one that will intrigue him enough to know more about you. So, take a deep breath and get ready to relish good food, fragrant wine, plenty of laughter and a night of romance. You deserve it.

Happy loving...Yves

Questions & Answers

    © 2018 Yves

    Comments

    Submit a Comment

    • savvydating profile imageAUTHOR

      Yves 

      4 weeks ago

      Hi Flourish....It was definitely fun to write. Thanks for the kudos. ;)

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 

      4 weeks ago from USA

      I'm back to take another look at this article and read the fun comments. This was a great article.

    • savvydating profile imageAUTHOR

      Yves 

      3 months ago

      Hi Chris...Loved your comment. You made me smile and laugh. I'll have to think about the Tom Waits thing. Hahaha. In truth, men can do the same thing when having her over, minus the dress.(Lol) However, writing articles specifically for men is a great idea.

      I'm so pleased you liked my ideas. :)

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 

      3 months ago from Missoula, Montana through August 2018

      You have described an evening that would be a pleasure to experience. We men could probably use an article about how to have a woman visit our homes as well. Tell me not to play any Tom Waits music and not to break out my own fiction for reading material.

      This article was very well done. I like the book on the coffee table. Sounds interesting. What would make me stay? The lemon chicken, relaxed conversation and the strap falling off the shoulder.

    • savvydating profile imageAUTHOR

      Yves 

      4 months ago

      Lo, Frankl. I won't even try to be demur. I think my way is better too. Thanks for making me chuckle this morning.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      4 months ago from Shelton

      Perfect how to do it right.. tips.. for making the evening right... My tip would pale compare to your advice.. picture it.. club... dancing.. I walk over to a very nice girl and say... hey you better give me your number before I change my mid..:) Yeah.. they should stick to your helpful hint...:)

    • savvydating profile imageAUTHOR

      Yves 

      4 months ago

      Lol. Thanks for letting me know about the spelling. To be honest, Nell, I wasn't sure because the font on the cover could have gone either way. Ha!

      Anyway, I'm glad you liked the hub. I love the violin music too. It's really different! Also, thanks for the compliment on my house. I thought about adding the dining room, but thought that might be over-kill.

      Happy Monday to you, my cyber friend!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      4 months ago from England

      Hiya, first of all I love your house! lol! well what I can see of it. I haven't done romance for years, so I will take your word for it, lol! and that violin music was awesome too. The authors name is Conn not Gonn,I have many of his books,he is awesome. Great advice :)

    • savvydating profile imageAUTHOR

      Yves 

      4 months ago

      What a nice compliment! I appreciate it so much, Paula. I actually learned many of my tips (inadvertently) from an Italian "friend." He was studying in the U.S. (on a Visa) to obtain a PhD in Physics. I had to be "on my game." Ha, ha!

      Ah! Sweet memories...;)

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 

      4 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Yves. You always bring us something delightful. You're the perfect writer for this topic! Wise, mature, creative & romantic. Can't ask for anything more. I love this scenario you present. Actually gives me something "to think about!" Thanks, girlfriend! Peace, Paula

    • savvydating profile imageAUTHOR

      Yves 

      4 months ago

      Thanks Flourish! I thought about mentioning the morning after, but didn't want the hub to get too long. So, you may have a good idea there---just write a whole new hub. Ha! Great suggestion. Thanks for stopping by. :)

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 

      4 months ago from USA

      You know all the inside tricks. What a thoughtfully written and thorough article. Maybe a follow up article on the morning after?

    • savvydating profile imageAUTHOR

      Yves 

      4 months ago

      Hi Devika....Yes indeed, these tips are great for married couples as well as dating couples. Thank you for the kudos. I truly appreciate it, dear lady.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      4 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Every tip mentioned is valuable and helpful for a date night. Sounds incredible and worth a try. I like the way you explained and makes me wonder more about the date night. A good idea about the choice of candles.

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