How to Create a Perfect First Date Night at Your Place
First Things First
This article explores the finer steps of creating a memorable, natural evening that is not awkward in any way and which feels as natural and stress free as a deep, soft breath. All you need to do is follow a few simple guidelines.
Understandably, having him over to your place for the first time can be a little nerve-wracking, but you honestly have no need to worry if you prepare well and keep your wits about you. On the other hand, we must not entertain false expectations in our minds about what constitutes a romantic evening.
As a precaution, please refrain from inviting any man over to your home early on in any relationship. Be very selective about who you date, and always take your time about important decisions pertaining to sex and intimacy. Your only goal on date night is to create a comfortable environment in your home wherein you will feel comfortable enough to deepen the connection you have formed so far.
But back to the matter at hand. You have invited him over. Now what? How do you make the night special and unique? Well, first things first.... always remember you are on a date rather than a challenge for perfection. Dates are meant to be fun and relaxing. They are a time to learn more about things you have in common, such as places you've been and interests you share. Besides which, if the chemistry is there, romance will follow naturally.
Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.— — Carolyn Gold Heilbrun
Step 1: Prepare a Light, Scrumptious Dinner
If you do not know anything about cooking, always know that having a delicious meal is an intimate experience. So, even if you are not a whiz in the kitchen, just know that a homemade meal represents love and caring. Luckily for you, there is no way to go wrong with my fail-safe Crock-Pot Lemon Chicken. It takes approximately 17 minutes of kitchen prep work: You chop some veggies, sprinkle some seasoning, plug the cord in the outlet and set the cooker on low. My loved ones really savor this easy-to-make-dish. There is nothing wrong with using an easy recipe, so long as it tastes good.
On the other hand, if you already know how to whip up delicious meals, you’re good to go. However, I recommend keeping the menu simple. An elaborate meal is best suited for another time. Your first meal together should be light. Besides, you will need extra time during the day to paint your toenails, do your hair, and clean your house for the special night.
Alright, now that you've made your house shine and your nail pretty, it's time to think about the what you want to serve besides chicken. My recommendation is a simple, fresh spinach salad tossed in olive oil, balsamic vinegar, pinon nuts, black pepper, sautéed red or yellow pepper strips and feta cheese. Prepare the salad 15 minutes before dinner is served. As for the main course vegetable, that is where the carrots come in. If you feel inclined, some Basmati rice makes a nice bed for your chicken breasts. A rice cooker can help you with that.
Yves Crock-Pot Lemon Chicken
- 4 boneless chicken breasts, sliced in half
- juice of 1 fresh lemon
- 1 tsp. paprika
- 1/3 cup soy sauce
- 1/2 cup onion, chopped
- 3 T. butter
- 2 T. fresh parsley
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1/2 tsp. thyme
- 1/2 cup dry white wine
- 1 cup baby carrots
- 1 cup chicken broth
- Rinse chicken well, pat dry.
- Cut chicken breasts in half and place into Crock Pot.
- Squeeze lemon over chicken. Place remaining ingredients into the Crock-Pot.
- Cover. Cook 4 hours on high setting or 6 hours on low setting.
- After two hours, taste broth and add salt or chicken broth as needed. Replace lid and cook for another 2 to 4 hours.
- Pair your meal with a red Spanish Rioja or a Chianti. (White wine contains too much citrus which competes with the lemon chicken.)
- Serve meal with a French baguette, spinach salad and 2/3 cup of cooked Basmati rice. Spoon 1/4 c. broth from crock-pot over each plated serving.
- If your home is small, open the windows while the chicken is cooking to let out the smell of onion, or use less onion in the dish.
Step Two: Create a Sensual, Interesting & Unique Music Playlist
Here comes the part where we discuss the finer points of making your home feel, well.... sensual, as well as inviting or interesting. First, you must select good music and own good speakers. If you do not have quality speakers and if you are on a budget, it will cost you about $100.00 to purchase a Bose II Mini Speaker. It's worth every penny. As for the music itself, it is best to choose tracks that allow you to focus on the conversation. The music should be subtly sensual, interesting and unique, kind of like you.
The following are a few selections to get your creative juices flowing:
More About Music
The idea is to select music that is a bit "outside the box" and which can easily flow into the evening, beyond dinner and conversation. If it so happens that your date is a strict country fan, please be sure not to include "Low Friends in High Places" in your playlist. In no way can anyone seriously engage in sensual lovemaking with a song like that playing in the background. (Just saying.)
In any event, music is very personal, and we must listen to what we like. The goal is to encourage you to put some imagination into your music selections. Your choices should encourage thoughtful, intriguing conversation as well as delicious lovemaking later. By the way, if you are not familiar with Pandora or Spotify, I highly recommend you find out more about their intuitive services which provide music selections thar are in accordance with your personal tastes.
Also, keep in mind that instrumental music selections interspersed with a few tracks containing lyrics, tend to work best when planning for a late evening. As we all know, music is song for the soul. Choose accordingly. And please, never play "sappy" love music unless you want your date to run for the hills!
“We humans are a musical species no less than a linguistic one... And to this largely unconscious structural appreciation of music is added an often intense and profound emotional reaction to music.”— Oliver Sacks, Author of Musicophilia
Step 3: Choose What to Wear in Advance
Never wait until the last minute to decide what to wear! If you wait too long, everything will go haywire. You will feel harried; you will second guess yourself; you will get sweaty and anxious. What you wear is important, so please choose your outfit at least a day in advance. Okay, then. We got that straight! (Phew) Now back to the matter at hand...
Your goal is to wear something comfortable and pretty. For your first evening together, choose a dress with a "touchable" fabric. Men relish a woman's femininity, and a soft dress allows him to appreciate your style as well as your curves. Another excellent choice for the night is a softly clinging skirt with a short-sleeve or no-sleeve boat top, or better yet, the kind of top that tends to fall off your shoulder on occasion...if you catch my drift. The idea, frankly, is to wear something you will be able to easily slip out of later.
Keep your outfit simple. Wear delicate flat sandals. Keep your hair loose. And by the way, do not forget to wear sexy underwear. Your lacy undies make his man's heart sing, and a happy man makes for a thoughtful lover. Above all, you want a considerate lover. Long story short, every piece of your clothing should be both classy and subtly sexy. Sexiness and class a powerful combination!
I dress to kill, but tastefully.
Step 4: Good Books and Good Conversation
The books you own tell a story about your life and your interests. If you happen to own a plethora of romantic paperbacks, you might want to pack them in a box, put them in your closet. Now is the time to begin reading some classics, instructional how-to books, and a few biographies. If you haven't read that biography you've chosen to display in your bookcase or on your coffee table and if he asks you about it, you're going to feel rather foolish when you have nothing to say. In short, never own books strictly for show. Read the books you buy. Let him see parts of your personality through your books. He will enjoy gleaning information about you that he did not know before.
A well-read person is a good conversationalist, and a good conversationalist is an interesting person to be around. However, knowing "a lot of stuff" does not mean you can monopolize the conversation. Instead, be a good listener who can ask thought-provoking questions. In so doing, you can intelligently inject follow-up information and anecdotes regarding "things you've learned" from books you have read and the life you have lived.
A tip: Buy and read parts of (at least) "The Dangerous Book for Boys" by Hal and Conn Iggulden. Place the book on your coffee table. Hal and Conn's book contains a plethora of wonderful content such as Famous Battles, Juggling, Sampling Shakespeare, Skipping Stones, and so much more. Your date will enjoy leafing through the book while you are busy preparing a fresh salad before dinner.
An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.— Ben Franklin
Step 5: Select Neutral Scents for Your Bedroom
It should go without saying, but please do not ever buy sweet candles for your first date night or any other date night for that matter. Men hate sweet smelling candles. Avoid pure vanilla candles like the plague!
What kind of scents do you want for your bedroom? Think neutral. Avoid anything too "out-there." For example, candles that smell like food, such as spice cake or cherry cobbler, are highly inappropriate for a romantic evening. Please don’t go there. On the opposite spectrum are scents like patchouli---still too overwhelming unless blended with other scents. Yet surprisingly, natural peppermint, eucalyptus or lavender combined is acceptable to men, and can be safely be used in the guest and main bathrooms.
For your bedroom, however, think neutral with a hint of "masculine." The next time you go to a Home store, check out the candles. You will have so much fun picking out exactly the right scents for your special date-night. One of my favorite candles for the bedroom is Tobacco Saffron, pictured below.
...science says that the human circadian rhythm (the one that maintains our day/night cycle) is very sensitive to changes in light. Low light tells our bodies it’s time to relax, making us more at ease and reducing stress'''
Step 6: Take a Deep Breath, Relax, and Have Faith
Your date will be arriving soon. Now is the time to brush away any remaining anxiety you may have. The fact is, you've prepared well, and you've done everything needed to create a relaxing, beautiful evening. All that is left to do is trust that everything will work out beautifully.
A good man really appreciates your having put effort into the evening, and he love, love, loves a home-cooked meal. Your date will feel special and validated because you have put some real thought into making him feel comfortable. He will love that you listen when he speaks about his life and interests; he will find your music stimulating; he will appreciate your charm.
Your home will tell a story---one that will intrigue him enough to want to know you even better. So, take a deep breath and get ready to relish good food, fragrant wine, plenty of laughter and a night of romance. You deserve it.
© 2018 Yves