How to Create a Perfect First Date Night at Your Place
First Things First
This article explores the finer steps of creating a memorable and natural evening that isn't forced or awkward in any way. You truly can have a stress-free date night at your home that is as relaxing as a soft, deep breath. All you need to do is follow a few simple guidelines.
Nonetheless, having him over to your place for the first time can be a little nerve-racking. However, if you are prepared and in the right frame of mind, you can be confident that your date will go smoothly. On the other hand, we must not entertain false expectations in our minds about what constitutes a romantic evening, such as burning a plethora of candles or feeling like you have to "perform." Forget about those things, otherwise, you'll only make yourself overly anxious for no good reason.
Your only goal is to create a comfortable environment in your home where you linger over your meal, your wine, and your conversation. As a precaution, please refrain from inviting any man over to your home early on in any relationship. Be very selective about who you date and always take your time about important decisions pertaining to sex and intimacy.
But back to the matter at hand. You've invited him over. Now what? How do you make the night special and unique? Well, first off, please remember you're on a date, not a challenge or a contest. Dates are meant for enjoying each others company and for learning more about the things you have in common, such as places you've been and interests you share. Besides, if the chemistry is there, romance will follow naturally.
Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.— — Carolyn Gold Heilbrun
Step 1: Prepare a Light, Scrumptious Dinner
If you don't know anything about food, know this. Having a delicious meal is an intimate experience in itself. So, even if you're not the greatest cook in the world, just know that a homemade meal represents love and caring. Luckily for you, there is no way to go wrong with my fail-safe Crock-Pot Lemon Chicken. It takes approximately 17 minutes of kitchen prep work: You chop some veggies, sprinkle some seasoning, plug the cord in the outlet and set the cooker on low. My loved ones really savor this easy-to-make-dish. Also, never feel guilty about using an easy recipe, so long as it tastes good.
On the other hand, if you already know how to whip up a delicious meal in no time, then please do so. Just refrain from preparing anything too elaborate; it's best to keep things light. Besides, you'll need extra time during the day to paint your toe nails, do your hair, and clean your house for the special night.
Alright, now that you've made your house shine and your toenails pretty, it's time to think about the what you want to serve besides chicken. My recommendation is a simple, fresh spinach salad tossed in olive oil, balsamic vinegar, pinon nuts, black pepper, sauteed red or yellow pepper strips and feta cheese. Prepare the salad 15 minutes before dinner is served. As for the main course vegetable, that's where the carrots come in. If you feel inclined, some Basmati rice makes a nice bed for your chicken breasts. A rice cooker can help you with that.
Yves Crock-Pot Lemon Chicken
- 4 boneless chicken breasts
- juice of 1 fresh lemon
- 1 tsp. paprika
- 1/3 cup soy sauce
- 1/2 cup onion, chopped
- 3 T. butter
- 2 T. fresh parsley
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1/2 tsp. thyme
- 1/2 cup dry white wine
- 1 cup baby carrots
- 1/2 cup chicken broth
- Rinse chicken well, pat dry.
- Cut chicken breasts in half and place into Crock Pot.
- Squeeze lemon over chicken. Place remaining ingredients into the Crock-Pot.
- Cover. Cook 4 hours on high setting.
- After two hours, taste broth and add salt or chicken broth as needed. Replace lid and cook for another 2 hours.
- Pair your meal with a red Spanish Rioja or a Chianti. (White wine contains too much citrus which competes with the lemon chicken.)
- Serve meal with a French baguette, spinach salad and 2/3 cup of cooked Basmati rice. Spoon 1/4 c. broth from crock-pot over each plated serving.
Step Two: Create a Sensual, Interesting & Unique Music Playlist
Here comes the part where we discuss the finer points of making your home feel, well....sensual, as well as inviting. First of all, you must select good music and own good speakers. If you do not have quality speakers and if you're on a budget, it'll cost you about $100.00 to purchase a Bose II Mini Speaker. It's worth every penny. As for the music itself, you'll want to choose tracks that allow you to focus on the conversation. The music should be subtly sensual, interesting and unique, kind of like you.
The following are a few selections to get your creative juices flowing:
More About Music
The idea is to select music that is a bit "outside the box" and which can easily flow into the evening, beyond dinner and conversation. If it so happens that your date is a strict country fan, just be sure not to include "Low Friends in High Places" in your playlist. In no way can anyone seriously engage in sensual lovemaking with a song like that playing in the background. (Just saying.)
In any event, music is very personal, and it's best to listen to what we like. The point of Step 2 is to encourage you to put some imagination into your music selections. Your choices should encourage thoughtful, intriguing conversation as well as delicious lovemaking later on. By the way, if you're not familiar with Pandora or Spotify, I highly recommend you find out more about their services which chooses music according to your individual tastes.
Also, keep in mind that instrumental music selections interspersed with a few tracks containing lyrics, tend to work best when planning for a late evening. As we all know, music is song for the soul. Choose accordingly. And please, never play "sappy" love music unless you want your date to run for the hills!
“We humans are a musical species no less than a linguistic one... And to this largely unconscious structural appreciation of music is added an often intense and profound emotional reaction to music.”— Oliver Sacks, Author of Musicophilia
Step 3: Choose What To Wear in Advance
Never wait until the last minute to decide what to wear! If you wait too long, everything will go haywire. You'll feel harried; you'll second guess yourself; you'll get sweaty and anxious. What you wear is important, so please choose your outfit at least a day in advance. Alright. Thank goodness we got that straight! (Phew) Now back to the matter at hand...
Your goal is to wear something comfortable and pretty. For your first evening together, you'll want to wear a dress with a "touchable" fabric. Men honestly relish a woman's femininity, and a soft dress allows him to appreciate your style. Another excellent choice for the night is a softly clinging skirt with a short-sleeve or no-sleeve boat top. (It doesn't hurt if your blouse tends to fall off one of your shoulders on occasion...if you catch my drift.) The idea, frankly, is to wear something you'll be able to easily slip out of later.
Keep your outfit simple. Wear delicate flat sandals. Keep your hair loose. And by the way, don't forget to wear sexy underwear. Beautiful undies make a man's heart sing. A a happy man makes for a thoughtful lover. Above all, you want a considerate lover. Long story short, always choose clothing that is both classy and subtly sexy. Sexiness combined with class is a powerful, lethal combination!
I dress to kill, but tastefully.— Freddie Mercury
Step 4: Good Books and Good Conversation
The books you own tell a story about your life and your interests. If you happen to own a plethora of romantic paperbacks, you might want to pack them in a box, put them in your closet and begin reading some classics, instructional how-to books, and a few biographies. If you haven't read that biography you've chosen to display in your bookcase or on your coffee table and if he asks you about it, you're going to feel rather foolish when you have nothing to say. In short, never own books for strictly for show. Read the books you buy. Let him see what interests you have (besides romance). He will enjoy learning about the fascinating parts of your personality he didn't know about before.
A well-read person is a good conversationalist, and a good conversationalist is an interesting person to be around. However, knowing "a lot of stuff" doesn't mean you can monopolize the conversation. Instead, be a good listener who has the ability to ask thought-provoking questions. In so doing, you can intelligently inject follow-up information and anecdotes regarding "things you've learned" from books you've read and the life you've lived.
Here's a tip: Buy and leaf through "The Dangerous Book for Boys" by Hal and Conn Iggulden. Place the book on your coffee table. Hal and Conn's book contains a plethora of wonderful content such as Famous Battles, Juggling, Sampling Shakespeare, Skipping Stones, and so much more. Your date will enjoy leafing through the book while you fuss with your salad before dinner.
An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.— Ben Franklin
Step 5: Select Neutral Scents For Your Bedroom
It should go without saying, but please do not ever buy sweet candles for your first date night or any other date night for that matter. Men hate sweet smelling candles. Avoid pure vanilla candles like the plague!
What kind of scents do you want for your bedroom? Think neutral. Avoid anything too "out-there." For example, candles that smell like food, such as spice cake or cherry cobbler, are highly inappropriate for a romantic evening. Just don't go there, girlfriend. On the other spectrum are scents like patchouli---still too overwhelming, unless blended with other scents. Yet surprisingly, natural peppermint or eucalyptus and lavender combined is acceptable to men; those two scents can safely be used in the guest and main bathrooms.
For your bedroom, however, think neutral with a hint of "masculine." The next time you go to a Home store, check out the candles. You'll have fun picking out exactly the right scents for your special date-night. One of my favorite candles for the bedroom is Tobacco Saffron, pictured below.
...science says that the human circadian rhythm (the one that maintains our day/night cycle) is very sensitive to changes in light. Low light tells our bodies it’s time to relax, making us more at ease and reducing stress'''— meltco.com
Step 6: Take a Deep Breath, Relax, Have Faith
Your date will be arriving soon. Now is the time to brush away any remaining anxiety that is lingering around you. The fact is, you've prepared beforehand and you've done everything needed to create a relaxing, beautiful evening. All that is left to do is trust that everything will work out just fine.
Most men really do appreciate your having put effort into the evening....and they just love, love, love a home-cooked meal. Your date will feel special and validated because you've put some real thought into making him feel comfortable. He will love that you listen; he will find your music stimulating; he will appreciate your charm. Your home will tell a story---one that will intrigue him enough to want to know you better. So, take a deep breath and get ready to relish good food, fragrant wine, plenty of laughter and a night of romance. You deserve it.
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© 2018 Yves