Matt is a professional painter and freelance writer, sharing his knowledge, house-painting tips, and product reviews.
Plenty of Fish Online Dating Success
The Plenty of Fish dating app can be a good way to get dates and even land a life-long relationship, but it can also be a very frustrating experience if you're a guy going about it all wrong. POF has a massive member base where women get dozens, if not hundreds, of messages from guys on a daily basis. In order to get replies that lead to dates, both your profile quality and your interactions with women on the site are crucial.
I'll share some POF dating tips that have worked well for me in the past when I was actively using the app. Whether you're simply looking for a hook-up, or a meaningful relationship, these tips will help save you time and get more dates.
Choose Profile Photos Wisely
If your profile photos are poor quality, I guarantee your inbox will remain empty, regardless of the dating site. Even if you have a well-written "About Me" section, it won't get you anywhere without a good selection of photos in your profile.
Your photos should be in-focus, cropped and recent. The photo uploading tool on POF isn't the greatest so you might have to edit your pictures to make sure they don't appear blurry when uploaded to the app.
You should include at least two, preferably three, fully body pictures. Keep the photos recent. Include up close photos of your face with a smile. Selfies are alright, but not every picture. If you're a guy, avoid posting shirtless pictures.
Ask for the Date Sooner Rather Than Later
What a lot of guys do is they message back and forth for way too long, playing twenty questions. If you make this mistake, you will end up wasting a lot of time. For one, not all girls on Plenty of Fish are even motivated to meet in person, so unless you're fine with having a texting buddy, why do this if your goal is to get dates?
Secondly, women who are actually motivated to meet in person are expecting you to be confident and ask for the date sooner than later. Usually what happens when you wait too long is the woman simply stops responding to your messages because she assumes you have no interest in meeting, since you're not asking for a date.
What you should do is ask for the date in the third or fourth message. This enables you to weed out the flakes from the girls who are actually attracted and motivated to meet.
If the person is completely new to online dating though it might take a bit longer to build enough trust to get the date, which is understandable considering you're a complete stranger, but I wouldn't wait any longer than the fifth or sixth message to ask.
Message Multiple People
Online dating is a numbers game, especially if you're a guy. Girls get bombarded with messages, many of which get deleted and never read. Not only do you need to craft a clever message, but you also need to be focused on messaging multiple people to increase your reply rate.
Unless there's a shortage of POF members where you live, or you can't find people you have things in common with, you should avoid falling into the trap of only sending one message each time you log in. When you log in, you should be firing off several first messages each time. The messages should be interesting, mentioning something from their profile for proof you read it.
On the actual Plenty of Fish dating website, not the app, I noticed in the past when I'd send lots of messages, my profile seemed to get more views too. I believe this has something to do with their algorithm. I don't know if it's still like that, or not.
Online dating can be frustrating and disappointing. It's easy to get bummed out and have a bad attitude when things don't work out, but it's best to keep things positive in your messages, as well as in your profile description and photos.
When sending messages, always be positive. It goes a long way. If you sound negative, you will probably get blocked. Even if things don't work out, keep it positive from start to finish. There were a couple times on POF where girls I had briefly messaged with in the past would come back around, sending me a message out of the blue.
Write a Funny Plenty of Fish Headline
POF is one of the only dating apps that lets you include a profile headline. It's easy to blow it off and not put much thought into it, but if your headline is funny, you'll get more profile views and messages from girls commenting on it.
You should definitely avoid writing anything negative for the headline, or anything boring like "Hi". Writing something funny and clever works really well. Using tasteful humor in messages works well too.
Sort Profiles by Last Visit
The search filter allows you to sort profiles by "last visit" or "newest users". Searching by last visit puts the most recently logged in profiles at the top of the page. These are the people you want to be messaging first because they're freshly logged in and active, in most cases.
Avoid messaging anyone with "online in the last thirty days" noted next to their profile. Only message people who are online now to increase your chances of a reply. Alternatively, if you've already messaged most of the "last visit" profiles, you can try searching the newest users too. The only problem I've encountered with this is that newer users are more likely to be new to online dating, so they're often hesitant to meet. It's worth experimenting with both search criteria.
Don't Ask for a Coffee Date
I experimented with this once on the Plenty of Fish dating app and found that most girls either wouldn't respond to a coffee date invite, or they would decline, or they would cancel. Unless you, or your date doesn't drink at all, meeting for a couple drinks is a great first date idea. Now of course this doesn't mean coffee is a bad idea, but it didn't work well for me, at least not on that site. I had far more agreed drink dates than coffee.
I would avoid overly expensive first dates. It's unnecessary and can work against you. Dinner dates can be very expensive, especially if you're doing it a few times per month. I never do dinner on a first date, or even for a second date. With the drink date, if things go south, you can quickly finish your drink and vacate, instead of being stuck in a long, awkward dinner.
Write Your Messages Wisely
Writing a good message that doesn't get deleted, or ignored, is one of the most important parts of using Plenty of Fish successfully. The biggest mistake you can make is writing boring messages like "Hi", or "How are you?" It pretty much demonstrates you didn't read their profile, or didn't care to put any thought into the message. As a guy, I would receive these messages myself and it was very annoying. Women receive these types of boring messages by the dozens so I can understand who so many of them simply get deleted and never read.
Always mention something from their profile in your message. It shows you actually read their profile and found them interesting. Writing a message too short, or even too long, can work against you. Two to three sentences max works well. Using humor when messaging can work great too, as long as it's not dirty.
© 2017 Matt G.