Matt is a professional painter and freelance writer, sharing his knowledge, house-painting tips, and product reviews.
Plenty of Fish Online Dating Success
For those who are single and looking for a companion, the Plenty of Fish dating app, one of the oldest out there, is a good way to meet new people for dating and relationships, but as a guy who's used the app many times in the past, meeting people can also be a frustrating experience if you go about it all wrong.
On POF, which has a massive member base, women get dozens, if not hundreds, of messages from guys on a daily basis. In order to get replies that actually lead to dates, both your profile quality and your interactions with women on the site are crucial.
I'll share some POF dating tips that have worked well for me in the past when I was actively using the app. Whether you're simply looking for a hook-up, or a meaningful relationship, these tips will help save you time and get more dates.
Choose Profile Photos Wisely
If your profile photos are poor quality, I guarantee your inbox will remain empty, regardless of the dating site. Even with a well-written "About Me" section, it won't get you anywhere without a good selection of photos in your profile.
Your photos should be in-focus, cropped and recent. Include dates too in the photo captions and keep the photos fresh. The photo uploading tool on POF isn't the greatest so you might have to edit your pictures and the sizing to make sure they don't appear blurry when uploaded to the app.
You should include at least two, preferably three, full body pictures. Keep the photos recent. Include up close photos of your face and smile. Selfies are alright, but not every picture. If you're a guy, avoid posting shirtless pictures. Most women don't like that.
Ask for the Date Sooner Rather Than Later
What a lot of guys do is they message back and forth for way too long, playing twenty questions. If you make this mistake, you will end up wasting a lot of time. For one, not all girls on Plenty of Fish are even motivated to meet in person, so unless you're fine with having a texting buddy, why do this if your goal is to get dates?
Secondly, women who are actually motivated to meet in person are expecting you to be confident and ask for the date sooner than later. Usually what happens when you wait too long is the woman simply stops responding to your messages because she assumes you have no interest in meeting, since you're not asking for a date.
What you should do is ask for the date in the third or fourth message. This enables you to weed out the flakes from the girls who are actually attracted and motivated to meet.
If the person is completely new to online dating though the conversation might have to continue a little longer before the person feels comfortable meeting you. I wouldn't wait any longer than the fifth or sixth message to ask for a date. If she gives you the run around and doesn't acknowledge your invite, move on.
Message Multiple People
Online dating is a numbers game, especially if you're a guy. Attractive girls get bombarded with messages from guys on a daily basis, many of which get deleted, or never even read. You need to make your message stand out so she doesn't delete it. Not only do you need to craft a clever message, but you also need to message multiple people on a daily basis to increase your reply rate. Again, it's a numbers game.
Sending only one message per day really isn't enough. You should message as many people as possible. When I used the app in the past, there were times I would message ten to twenty different women in one day. The messages should be interesting, mentioning something from their profile to prove you read it. In addition to sending lots of well-written messages, you should also use more than one dating app. Two of my favorites are the Facebook dating app and Bumble.
On the actual Plenty of Fish dating website, not the app, I noticed in the past when I'd send lots of messages, my profile seemed to get more views too. I believe this has something to do with their algorithm. The more active you are on the app, the more your profile is viewed. The time of day you send messages is important too. The best time of day to send messages is in the evening when people are home from work and less busy.
Online dating can be frustrating and disappointing at times. There are days where you'll get a lot of replies and other times nothing at all. The rejection can damage your confidence, but it's important not to take it personally, or let your frustration be known in your profile and messages to women. Keep things positive in your profile and photos too.
When sending messages and interacting with women in general, staying positive goes a long way. If you sound negative and unpleasant, you will be ignored, or even blocked. Even if things don't work out, keep it positive from start to finish. There were a couple times on POF where girls I had brief, but positive, interactions with in the past would come back around, sending me a message out of the blue.
Write a Funny Plenty of Fish Headline
POF is one of the only dating apps that lets you include a profile headline. It's easy to blow it off and not put much thought into it, but if your headline is funny, you'll get more profile views and messages from girls commenting on it.
You should definitely avoid writing anything negative for the headline, or anything boring like "Hi". Writing something funny and clever works really well. Using tasteful humor in messages works well too.
Sort Profiles by Last Visit
The search filter allows you to sort profiles by "last visit" or "newest users". Searching by last visit puts the most recently logged in profiles at the top of the page. These are the people you want to be messaging first because they're freshly logged in and active, in most cases.
Avoid messaging anyone with "online in the last thirty days" noted next to their profile. Focus on messaging people who are online now to increase your chances of a reply. Alternatively, if you've already messaged most of the "last visit" profiles, you can try searching the newest users too. The only problem I've encountered with this is that newer users are more likely to be new to online dating, so they're often hesitant to meet. They want to take their time, but not always. It's worth experimenting with both search criteria.
Don't Ask for a Coffee Date
I experimented with this once on the Plenty of Fish dating app and found that most girls either wouldn't respond to a coffee date invite, they would decline, or they would cancel plans. I think it's because coffee is considered too cheap of a date, or people don't want to drink coffee at night, unless you meet during the day, but then it's a day date.
Unless you, or your date doesn't drink alcohol, meeting in the evening for a couple drinks is a great first date idea, but don't get drunk. Couple the drinks with some live music at a local bar. Now of course this doesn't mean coffee is a bad idea, but it didn't work well for me, at least not on POF. More women agreed to evening drink dates than coffee dates.
Avoid expensive first dates too. It's unnecessary and can work against you. Dinner dates can be very expensive and awkward. You don't know her and she doesn't know you. I never meet for dinner on a first date, or even a second date. With the drink date, it's casual, and if things go bad, you can quickly finish your drink and vacate, instead of being stuck in an awkward and expensive dinner.
Write Your Messages Wisely
Writing a good message that is less likely to get deleted, or ignored, is a skill that's critical to getting replies and dates on Plenty of Fish. The biggest mistake you can make is writing boring messages like "Hi", or "How are you?" Don't do this. I remember receiving boring messages like that from women and it was very annoying. Women receive lame messages by the dozens, so make your message stand out from the rest.
When you send messages, always mention something from their profile, such as a photo, or a similar interest, to show you actually read the summary. Writing a message too short, or even too long, can work against you. Two to three sentences max works well for a first message. Don't write a story. Using humor in your messages works great too, but keep it clean.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2017 Matt G.