Sabrina loves to write about love, life, and everything in-between in a candid yet humorous approach.
1. Can you imagine a future with him? Women are notorious for starting to plan a wedding after a good first date. That's not what I mean here. What I'm talking about is can you in your mind actually picture yourself marrying this person and building a life together? It's not as easy as you might think. With some people it's so easy to see yourself in the future with them. It's almost like it's meant to be.
You can see yourself growing old with them and it brings a smile to your face. With others, the mere idea of spending any more time with this person produces anxiety and stress. You just can't see it past the first date or dates if it gets that far. Don't force it. If you can't picture yourself with him, he's definitely not the one.
2. What type of emotions does the idea of commitment with this person bring out in you? Commitment tends to scare a lot of people, both male and female. I know it terrifies me because it's so confining and definite, almost like a 25 to life sentence in prison. With the wrong person, commitment can seem like a cruel and unusual punishment. If that's what it feels like to think about truly committing to the person you are with, then he is probably not the one.
As an Aquarius woman, commitment is a scary thing, but with some people it's just not. In my life, there have been people I've dated who I've actually loved being committed too. It wasn't scary or terrifying, in fact I really enjoyed it. I could imagine a future with them and I felt pretty good about it. With other people, it just downright scared me. Trust your instincts and really ask yourself how you feel about commitment with the person you're dating. If it's not good, then let them go. It's worth finding someone who makes commitment seem so easy you wouldn't believe it until it actually happens to you. Wait for them.
3. Does spending time with this person really make you happy? Happiness seems so underrated these days. It's like people have forgotten that you actually need to be really happy in order to pursue or stay in a relationship. Seriously! It's okay to want actual happiness in a relationship and refuse to settle for anything less. From personal experience, I know what it feels like to be really happy with someone and I know that it's not going to happen with just anyone.
Once you know what actual happiness feels like, settling for anything less just seems like you're faking it. And wasting time too. Actual happiness is when you can't stop smiling because just looking at your significant other makes you happy. Just the idea of being with them is enough. Flowers and chocolates are nice, but actual happiness with someone is worth so much more. If you have found someone who makes you feel really happy and also brings you flowers and chocolates, well then he's a keeper.
4. Are you always in the present moment with your significant other? If you're with someone whose company you really enjoy, you're going to be in the now because why would you be anywhere else? Your mind isn't going over your to do list. You're not thinking about what you're having for breakfast tomorrow. You're completely and totally in the present moment because it's just that good. I have been on dates where I just couldn't wait to leave. I would be thinking of excuses to go earlier so I was in the future because that's when I could get away from them!
I have also been on dates where five hours of conversation seem like just a moment and I totally lost myself because I thoroughly enjoyed being with the person. I was completely in the present moment and not thinking of anyone or anything else. As the date was happening, I remember actually thinking to myself, "I would literally rather be nowhere else but here right now." It's a great feeling and I want everyone to experience it. Wait for someone who makes you feel this way. Don't settle for anything less.
5. If you had to sit with this person in an empty room for hours, how would you feel? I like to call this the empty room test. Basically, think about the person you're dating, and that you're stuck in a completely empty room with them for hours. There's no form of entertainment except each other. Your phones don't work, wifi doesn't exist, it's just you two. How do you feel? If you're with the wrong person, the idea of being stuck with them in an empty room could qualify as a form of punishment. Like what are you supposed to do, just stare at each other? It would just be awkward.
On the other hand, with the right person it would be still be interesting. Just talking to each other could fill hours upon hours of time. You don't really need any outside form of entertainment, just each other would be more than enough. That's how you know you're with the right person. Just each other is all you could ever need. With the wrong person, all the entertainment in the world wouldn't be fulfilling because you're just going through the motions. If you really want to test your relationship, actually find an empty room and make it a game to stay there for two hours minimum and see what happens. I bet you will see your relationship in a new light. If you can pass this test, you might be in it for the long haul.
6. How high are you on his list of priorities? If he always falls short of your expectations and puts everyone ahead of you in his life you can be pretty sure he's not the one. Logically speaking, if someone or something is important to you, you tend to prioritize it and put it ahead of other less important things. How much time he spends on you is directly related to how much he cares about you. I don't care how busy he is, people always find time for what's important to them.
If someone's important to me, I would literally drop anything and be with them if they called. I would go anywhere and do anything. But apparently that's rare to come by these days. I won't settle for anything less. If I'm giving 100%, then they need to also. It's not 50/50 in a relationship, because a happy relationship is where both partners give 100%, no questions asked. Don't be happy being just an option for someone, wait to be someone's number one priority.
7. While you were reading this, was there just one person on your mind the entire time? I know because there was only one person on my mind as I was writing it. If he happens to fulfill the above criteria and makes you happy as hell then what are you still doing here? Go get him!
You're Mine by Disturbed
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