Is there someone special that you have "a thing" for, and you're just dying for them to respond, but you know the only way that could happen is if you came right out and told them you have feelings for them? Are you soiling your pants, though (figuratively, hopefully), worried how they might respond or worried that they might just reject you outright and you'll feel like your ego was torn limb from limb before your very eyes?
Well, stop it. Yeah, that's right: Stop it and tell them how you feel.
Of course, that's easier said than done. You can't just walk right up to a person and...
Actually, you can. Tell him how you feel. Tell her how you feel. Just do it. Get your beloved alone, and do it.
Still need more of a reason? Still can't muster up the courage? All right then, it's time for another segment of relationship advice that you shouldn't listen to because I may or may not know what I'm talking about. You asked for it!
Reasons to Tell Them How You Feel:
Your love interest may die in a horrific car crash (or train crash, or plane crash, or unicycle crash) tomorrow and they'll fall into the great oneness of oblivion without ever having learned how you feel.
Do you want that to happen? Do you want your sweet ray of sunshine to be repossessed by the universe before you even get a chance to let them know your feelings? If the answer is yes, then slap yourself. But if you remain unslapped, like most people, I imagine (I hope), then you need to remind yourself that life is a series of precious, discrete moments, and that you're letting time waste as we speak.
Even if they say "No" to your advances, at least you will have no regrets in the event of something horrible (albeit unlikely).
Though, frankly, I hesitate to use this reasoning or to give it much importance because it's the same argument people have used to try to convert me to their religion by saying there's a tiny likelihood, but still a likelihood, that I could die horrifically and go to hell (so I should convert just in case).
So my point is more that you just don't want to miss your chance in general and then regret it.
And since nobody should live life based on astronomically chance events, more importance should be given to the very real...
Your beloved might be as chicken as you and secretly afraid to reveal how they feel about you.
So if you just wait around, it might be this perpetual cycle fueled by the both of you desperately trying to cling to the safety of your own egos.
Have a stronger ego. Learn to let the jitters go. If they won't do it, and you won't do it, nothing will get done and you'll both just wait around forever. I have seen people dance around each other for the longest time in this way. (Heck, I myself have been so ridiculously, stupendously guilty of this in the past, that I shouldn't really talk.) It is NEVER good, in my experience. I would be hard pressed to think of any time it has ever been the right course of action.
Cowardice never helped anything, and I would venture to say bravery, in the long run, never harmed anything. Bravery leads to the truth, which is always a good thing; cowardice is only a tool to hide from things one really should be facing.
So swallow hard and face your sweetheart. Trust me, it won't be that bad. They have a nice face.
You might have piqued their interest, but that interest might fade if you wait too long.
They might like you to a degree, too, and are waiting for you to make some kind of move first, but their feelings at this stage might be just budding, and therefore possibly fleeting, so you need to hurry the heck up and let them know what's on your mind or they may move on.
Don't waste a moment. Don't worry about whether it's "the right moment." Just pick one. Any moment that's not a moment too late is more "right" than one that is. Out in the open if you have to. Out in public if you really can't find a private place within a reasonable time. Just do it.
You want to prove to yourself that you're not afraid.
Winning your beloved's affection aside, you should not live with a paralyzing fear. How can you stand having fear control anything about you?
Consider this an opportunity to assert yourself and prove to yourself that you are who you are and like what you like with no shame, and that you're not afraid to speak your mind about anything. It will take huge amounts of courage to get over this if it's a problem for you, but once you have conquered it once, it is easier the next time.
Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that you didn't have to use any courage and your desired lover really did just eventually sort of fall into your lap without your having to confess anything to them or act brave in any way. What would you have learned from it? Wouldn't you feel it was kind of a cop-out? It wouldn't have helped build your ability to assert yourself at all, and would have just rewarded your cowardice. You would not have grown as a person through the experience at all, or only very little.
Shoot for maximum growth as a person and choose to be brave. That way, no matter what their answer to your confession may be, you have gained something from it.
Don't be afraid of any response they could give you. Don't let external things (including your beloved themselves) affect your self-worth.
Face it as an exercise in courage, and let it open doors for bravery in other parts of your life.
You could be happy right now. Why wait? Why not be happy right this very moment?
Why waste another moment of your finite life on these silly little hesitations? Stop sitting there analyzing all your subtle interactions, trying to decide how likely it is that your love interest reciprocates. Why should you care? If you have a shot at having this person, any shot at all, why not take the risk? Isn't the reward way bigger than any negative consequence you could possibly face for it? Is avoiding their saying "No" really worth more than the potential joy and value you could reap from an intimate connection with them? Of course not; that's just absurd.
Just tell them. Stop waiting.
And the clock is ticking, ticking, ticking away.
User123 on February 14, 2012:
I like this guy but I'm very shy and don't say what I want to say.I. Want to ask him out but if he say no,then he will tell everyone .
Ashok on November 02, 2011:
I love fack
Manuel Porras from Germany, Colombia, USA, Panama, Mexico, Spain on July 02, 2011:
I liked this hubs will seriously consider these tips
PaperNotes on September 06, 2010:
I agree with you with everything contained in this hub.I myself am very vocal with my feelings for someone. Back in college there was this guy I really liked that I actually told him personally that I like him. It does not matter to me if he will reject me or disapprove of me. It's just hard to contain my feelings and after I have told him, I actually felt better.