5 Reasons to Tell a Guy or Girl How You Feel

Updated on January 2, 2017

Is there someone special that you have "a thing" for, and you're just dying for them to respond, but you know the only way that could happen is if you came right out and told them you have feelings for them? Are you soiling your pants, though (figuratively, hopefully), worried how they might respond or worried that they might just reject you outright and you'll feel like your ego was torn limb from limb before your very eyes?

Well, stop it. Yeah, that's right: Stop it and tell them how you feel.

Of course, that's easier said than done. You can't just walk right up to a person and...

Actually, you can. Tell him how you feel. Tell her how you feel. Just do it. Get your beloved alone, and do it.

Still need more of a reason? Still can't muster up the courage? All right then, it's time for another segment of relationship advice that you shouldn't listen to because I may or may not know what I'm talking about. You asked for it!

Reasons to Tell Them How You Feel:


Reason #1:

Your love interest may die in a horrific car crash (or train crash, or plane crash, or unicycle crash) tomorrow and they'll fall into the great oneness of oblivion without ever having learned how you feel.

Do you want that to happen? Do you want your sweet ray of sunshine to be repossessed by the universe before you even get a chance to let them know your feelings? If the answer is yes, then slap yourself. But if you remain unslapped, like most people, I imagine (I hope), then you need to remind yourself that life is a series of precious, discrete moments, and that you're letting time waste as we speak.

Even if they say "No" to your advances, at least you will have no regrets in the event of something horrible (albeit unlikely).

Though, frankly, I hesitate to use this reasoning or to give it much importance because it's the same argument people have used to try to convert me to their religion by saying there's a tiny likelihood, but still a likelihood, that I could die horrifically and go to hell (so I should convert just in case).

So my point is more that you just don't want to miss your chance in general and then regret it.

And since nobody should live life based on astronomically chance events, more importance should be given to the very real...


Reason #2

Your beloved might be as chicken as you and secretly afraid to reveal how they feel about you.

So if you just wait around, it might be this perpetual cycle fueled by the both of you desperately trying to cling to the safety of your own egos.

Have a stronger ego. Learn to let the jitters go. If they won't do it, and you won't do it, nothing will get done and you'll both just wait around forever. I have seen people dance around each other for the longest time in this way. (Heck, I myself have been so ridiculously, stupendously guilty of this in the past, that I shouldn't really talk.) It is NEVER good, in my experience. I would be hard pressed to think of any time it has ever been the right course of action.

Cowardice never helped anything, and I would venture to say bravery, in the long run, never harmed anything. Bravery leads to the truth, which is always a good thing; cowardice is only a tool to hide from things one really should be facing.

So swallow hard and face your sweetheart. Trust me, it won't be that bad. They have a nice face.


Reason #3:

You might have piqued their interest, but that interest might fade if you wait too long.


They might like you to a degree, too, and are waiting for you to make some kind of move first, but their feelings at this stage might be just budding, and therefore possibly fleeting, so you need to hurry the heck up and let them know what's on your mind or they may move on.

Don't waste a moment. Don't worry about whether it's "the right moment." Just pick one. Any moment that's not a moment too late is more "right" than one that is. Out in the open if you have to. Out in public if you really can't find a private place within a reasonable time. Just do it.


Photo by Geof Sheppard
Photo by Geof Sheppard

Reason #4:

You want to prove to yourself that you're not afraid.

Winning your beloved's affection aside, you should not live with a paralyzing fear. How can you stand having fear control anything about you?

Consider this an opportunity to assert yourself and prove to yourself that you are who you are and like what you like with no shame, and that you're not afraid to speak your mind about anything. It will take huge amounts of courage to get over this if it's a problem for you, but once you have conquered it once, it is easier the next time.

Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that you didn't have to use any courage and your desired lover really did just eventually sort of fall into your lap without your having to confess anything to them or act brave in any way. What would you have learned from it? Wouldn't you feel it was kind of a cop-out? It wouldn't have helped build your ability to assert yourself at all, and would have just rewarded your cowardice. You would not have grown as a person through the experience at all, or only very little.

Shoot for maximum growth as a person and choose to be brave. That way, no matter what their answer to your confession may be, you have gained something from it.

Don't be afraid of any response they could give you. Don't let external things (including your beloved themselves) affect your self-worth.

Face it as an exercise in courage, and let it open doors for bravery in other parts of your life.


Reason #5:

You could be happy right now. Why wait? Why not be happy right this very moment?

Why waste another moment of your finite life on these silly little hesitations? Stop sitting there analyzing all your subtle interactions, trying to decide how likely it is that your love interest reciprocates. Why should you care? If you have a shot at having this person, any shot at all, why not take the risk? Isn't the reward way bigger than any negative consequence you could possibly face for it? Is avoiding their saying "No" really worth more than the potential joy and value you could reap from an intimate connection with them? Of course not; that's just absurd.

Just tell them. Stop waiting.


And the clock is ticking, ticking, ticking away.


Questions & Answers

    Comments

      0 of 8192 characters used
      Post Comment

      • profile image

        User123 

        6 years ago

        I like this guy but I'm very shy and don't say what I want to say.I. Want to ask him out but if he say no,then he will tell everyone .

      • profile image

        Ashok 

        7 years ago

        I love fack

      • scott33thomas profile image

        Manuel Porras 

        7 years ago from Germany, Colombia, USA, Panama, Mexico, Spain

        I liked this hubs will seriously consider these tips

      • PaperNotes profile image

        PaperNotes 

        8 years ago

        I agree with you with everything contained in this hub.I myself am very vocal with my feelings for someone. Back in college there was this guy I really liked that I actually told him personally that I like him. It does not matter to me if he will reject me or disapprove of me. It's just hard to contain my feelings and after I have told him, I actually felt better.

      working

      This website uses cookies

      As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

      For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://pairedlife.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

      Show Details
      Necessary
      HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
      LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
      Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
      AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
      Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
      CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
      Features
      Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
      Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
      Marketing
      Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
      Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
      Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
      Statistics
      Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
      ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)