5 Reasons A Guy Might Like You, But Doesn't Act Like It
In a world still awash in the "he's just not that into you" mentality, this article makes the case that sometimes people, even guys, may not always be what they seem. Indeed, trying to decipher a man's motivations and behavior can yield as much uncertainty as trying to understand the cryptic inner workings of the female mind.
More than what a guy does, we must take into consideration what he thinks. Needless to say, two men may do the same thing but it may mean something completely different in each case due to their differing motivations. Examining what a guy does and trying to figure out if that means he likes you is not as useful if you fail to take into consideration what kind of guy they are. If it's a guy who is slightly on the shyer side, things might be a little more vague.
To this end, I present five reasons a guy might like you even if he doesn't act like it.
1. He Thinks You Have Someone Already
Maybe he thinks you're already taken, or maybe he noticed another "shark in the water" circling around you and he doesn't feel like getting into a competition. Maybe he thinks some other guy you're close to would be a better fit. Maybe his best friend likes you more than he does and he wants to let the man have his shot.
All sorts of reasons. If he thinks you're in some kind of relationship already, even if it's only like a half-relationship or an "it's complicated" relationship or something equally vague, he'll usually see that as your being taken, unless he's the kind of guy who has no qualms about breaking up a relationship (or joining one).
So if you're available and he has any reason to think otherwise, make it clear. Sure, a lot of people like what they can't have, but you don't just want him to like you without having you, right? (Unless you do, in which case one would have to wonder why you care that he likes you or not.)
2. He's a Coward
He could be scared sheetless of you. Maybe he's faking disinterest because he doesn't want you to know that he likes you.
It's arguable whether you would want to be with this kind of guy at all, but he might be nervous at the prospect of making his interest obvious because then he's in an emotionally vulnerable position. What if you notice his interest and reject him? What if he has a teeny tiny ego that does not easily recover from such things? Maybe he's afraid of humiliation, afraid that you'd make fun of him, afraid that others would think him a loser for being outwardly rejected.
Actually, now that I think about it, it's not arguable. If the guy is feigning disinterest to that degree and for those reasons, don't date him.
3. He Thinks He Isn't Worthy of You
He might think you're out of his league somehow, and so he doesn't want to bother even trying because he's afraid he'll look pathetic. He's afraid it will be a futile effort. Maybe he's putting you on a pedestal that you weren't aware of and feels like he doesn't deserve you and that he'd be incredibly lucky if you didn't reject him, but he doesn't want to take his chances (because of reason number # 2).
On the one hand, this is kind of a compliment because he sees you as someone so highly desirable, but on the other hand if a guy really feels that way himself he probably isn't worthy of you. Worthiness is largely a mindset and if he doesn't have it then he doesn't have it by his own choice.
4. He's Ashamed of Liking You
Uh-oh. It could be the whole backhanded compliment type of situation where he likes you personally, but can't help the barrage of thoughts: "What would my friends think?" / "What would my parents think?" / "What would my wife think?"
This is sort of the reverse of Number 3, where he might see you as, on some superficial level, not being worthy of him, though he likes you in spite of this.
Maybe there's something about you that someone he knows or that society at large would blame him for. Maybe there's something about you he's afraid others wouldn't understand. Maybe there's something about you that goes against some kind of belief system he has. Maybe you're a Satanist, or an Atheist, or gay. It scares him what others will think of him when they see him with you.
But such is the mark of a weak man, if he lets other's (perhaps baseless) opinions get in the way of his desires or judgment of your worth.
5. He Thinks He Won't Be Able to Give You What You Want
Maybe it just seems to him that you want something that he can't provide. Maybe he thinks you have an image of him that isn't true and that you like him for things that don't exist and that he can't give you, like money, or a big . . . intellectual capacity, or a world view that he just doesn't share with you.
Maybe he likes you, but thinks that you like him for the wrong reasons. Maybe he's right. Check it out. Is he really the guy you think he is? Have you already voiced expectations you have for him, even without realizing it? Are you the kind to rattle off a list of specific, unrealistic things you want in a man? If he likes you, he's probably listening, and he'll probably pick up on these things.
So think about it: Maybe he does like you. But . . . then again, if he's not being obvious for most of these reasons, maybe you shouldn't like him back.
Questions & Answers
I thought this guy had a crush on me. He talks about me a lot and gets embarrassed when people say they ship us. I told him I liked him, but he said he doesn’t like me, but he is still doing all the above. I’m confused; does he like me or not?Helpful 26
What does it mean when he won't touch you?
Probably that he doesn't want to touch you. Every situation is different, so without any context, it's hard to answer that.Helpful 17