5 Empowering Dating Tips For Shy Guys
I was the typical shy guy at one time.
I would see a hot woman that I was attracted to and I'd get the urge to go up and meet her but... for some reason... I just couldn't muster up the courage to get myself to do it.
Even if a golden opportunity was starring me right in the face I would still hesitate.
I would try to think of the perfect opening line to say to her.
Or I would try to figure out if the dude standing next to her was her boyfriend.
Or I would get nervous at the thought of looking stupid in front of my friends or getting shot down in front of her friends.
And then, after all that hesitation... guess what would happen?
The window of opportunity would close, she would go off somewhere and I would end up feeling like dirt because I let another one slip away.
Can you feel my pain here?
If you've ever done this kind of thing then I'm sure you'll agree with me it can be very damn frustrating.
Anyway, I'm happy to say that my shyness doesn't get the best of me anymore. Over the last few years I've completely conquered my shyness using some very empowering tools.
And today, I want to share these tools with you. So, here they are...
5 empowering dating tips for shy guys
1 -- Read her signals.
Women are not going to come up to you and ask for your phone number.
That's just not the way it works.
But, if you know what to look for, she will give you some subtle signals which are her way telling you "hey buddy, i'm interested in you, get your ass over here and talk to me".
The first thing you need to know is this...
Women don't do ANYTHING by accident.
If a woman is located at a certain part of the bar or club there is a reason for it.
So, the next time you're out, if you notice a woman in your proximity that wasn't there a second ago there's a good chance it's not an accident and she's interested in you.
Another thing to look for is preening or grooming.
When a woman notices a guy she's interested in she'll often unconsciously fix her hair, grab a glance at herself in the mirror, or fix her clothes in some other way.
2 -- Warm yourself up first.
When you woke up this morning didn't it take you a little while to get your engine going?
It usually takes me about 15 minutes or so to get the cobwebs out of my brain when I wake up.
I get up, take a leak, stretch a little bit, grab a drink of water, look outside to see what the weather is like and eventually I'm my normal self.
Talking to women works the same way.
Even the most outgoing guys don't start out that way. You have to crawl before you walk, right?
You can't be a wallflower all night and then when you see the girl you got the hots for, go up and approach her and expect things to go great.
So here's what you do...
The next time you're going to be at a venue where there are women you might be interested in, before you even consider talking to them or even looking in their direction, I want you to start off by talking to some of the other people around you.
Start off real slow if you want.
If you're out at a public place like a restaurant, bar, club or lounge why not ask a question to one of the staff there, share a laugh and have a little 30 second conversation?
When I go out I always befriend the waiters, waitresses, bartenders, bouncers. Then I talk to some of the other people standing around me, fat chicks, whoever.
Then when I do see a hot girl I'm interested in, I'm nice and warm and I feel like I'm surrounded by friends so talking to her, no matter how hot she, is isn't a big deal.
3 -- Change your outcome...
A lot of guys approach a woman with the goal in mind of getting her phone number, or getting a date with her, or making her their next girlfriend.
They see how pretty she is and all sorts of things like this go through their heads and they inevitably psyche themselves out.
They become way too outcome dependent. And worst of all, by doing this, they appear too needy to the women and the game is over before it even begins.
So here's what you do instead:
When you are first starting out trying to build you skills with women you should have only one goal in mind when you talk to a woman:
To get better with women.
Your primary outcome should be to build your skills.
If this particular woman gets away who cares as long as you gain a little experience out of the interaction.
When you shift your thinking by changing the outcome that you're looking for women will be able to pick up on it. You won't appear needy and you'll inevitably start to become more attractive.
You'll also be a lot more willing to talk to women because you're setting up a game you can win.
4 -- Change the way you look at "rejection".
Most guys make a woman's response to them mean something about them personally. A woman acts bitchy or cold to them and they make it mean something about them as a man.
I want you to know this...
When a woman "rejects" you, it actually has nothing to do with you. It wasn't YOU she rejected It was just you're approach.
You used the wrong particular approach. it's nothing personal. How could it be she doesn't know you from a hole in the wall, right?
So be grateful for her feedback whether positive or negative and never take it personal.
5 -- Play a game you can win.
Overall, the club and bar scene can be pretty intimidating to pick up women.
Women go out to these places, and because they're getting hit on all night and because their friends are around they're ten times more likely to reject a guy who tries to approach them.
Going to these places to meet women is playing a game with the deck stacked against you.
So then what's the answer?
Well, over the last few years i've had some pretty amazing success with meeting woman after woman on MySpace and Facebook.
I live in NY City where there are some of the hottest clubs, bars and lounges in the world. I've picked up women at the mall, the beach, walking down the street, the subway, the gym, and just about everywhere you can think of and I can honestly say this...
If you know what you're doing... there is no other place to meet women as quickly and as easily as these Social Networking sites.
There's a few reasons for this:
Because her friends aren't around watching her, other guys aren't hitting her and she's in the comfort of her own home she's SO much more receptive to you if you say the right thing to her.
But here's the thing I really love about MySpace and Facebook...
Not only are there millions of young, single women on these sites...
And not only can you quickly shoot out ten or fifteen messages to a bunch of these hot women in just a matter of minutes but...
There is absolutely ZERO chance of ever encountering a face-to-face rejection.
This means that a shy guy can build his skills with women in a totally risk-free arena.
MySpace and Facebook can be your own personal "Flight Simulator" to build your skills with women.
A guy can get really good, really quickly learning how to start conversations, flirt back and forth, build attraction, get phone numbers and set up "dates" because he doesn't have to worry about her friends, his friends, or the intimidation he might feel if he went to approach her in person.