30 Sure Signs That a Guy Doesn't Like You Back: How to Know If He Isn't Interested in You

Updated on December 24, 2018
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Fresh perspective on dating issues compiled in consultation with friends in North America, Australia and African nations.

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How to Tell If a Guy Doesn't Like You

Guys often give very specific signs that they aren't interested. Men aren't always the best verbal communicators, but if you can pick up on some of the other signs that they are sharing, you'll be much better off.

There are many signs of attraction that men and women show when they have an interest in one another. By looking and thoroughly observing the body language and the general behavior of the person, you can conclude whether or not he or she has an interest in you.

In this article, I will describe in detail the many signs that guys show when they don’t like a girl. You might be interested in this guy, but how sure are you he has the same feelings for you? This seems a hard question to answer for many women, and it doesn't need to be. You can observe the behavior of the guy you like and determine for yourself if he has feelings for you.

Signs That He's Not Interested

  • He keeps his distance, which means he wants to make sure you aren't close to one another.
  • He will avoid making physical contact with you (i.e., no touching or hugging).
  • He prefers to associate and spend more time with other girls.
  • He seems uninterested in things you do.
  • His eye contact with you doesn’t last long. He will stare at you for a moment and blink his eye away.
  • He doesn't smile or laugh when you're together, and he doesn’t laugh at your jokes.
  • He asks you for advice about his relationships with other girls

  • He tends to do the exact opposite of what you're doing.
  • His conversation with you is strictly “professional” and revolves around normal things, rather than flirting or teasing.
  • You are always the conversation starter and not the other way round.
  • He doesn't congratulate you when you do something extraordinary or special. He just says “Good for you” or responds without enthusiasm.
  • He doesn’t seem to notice when you put on makeup, fragrance, or sexy clothes.
  • He doesn’t get jealous when you are with other guys. If he liked you, it wouldn’t have been easy for him to tolerate seeing you with other men.
  • He never gives you gifts.
  • He will avoid you and the places you go.
  • He doesn’t call you unless he has business or work-related things to discuss with you.

Would he rather look at his phone than at you?
Would he rather look at his phone than at you? | Source

Signs That Your He Doesn't Like You

  • Would he get upset when someone harasses you in front of him? If not, that is an indication that he may not care about you.
  • If he avoids being near you at social functions, he may not want to be seen with you.
  • You borrow something from him, and he demands you return it immediately.
  • He doesn't seem to feel your absence.
  • He doesn't comfort you when you are having difficulties.
  • Even things that aren't that important to him seem to matter more than you, and he'd rather pay attention to those things than spend time with you.
  • He doesn't care about your whereabouts or whether or not you're safe.
  • He doesn't try to impress you.
  • His body language will clearly tell you if he likes you or not. Read this article on body language signs men show when they are interested in a woman.
  • He doesn’t ask you about your social life. In other words, he doesn't seem interested in your friends, your family, your interests and likes, etc.

  • He will only offer you help when absolutely necessary. If he liked you, he would offer you unlimited and sometimes unnecessary help.
  • He doesn't offer any financial help, even when you are struggling to make ends meet and he is better off financially.
  • When you ask him to do something for you, he doesn’t sacrifice his commitments to help you.
  • He doesn't attend your graduation or birthday party even when you invite him. He will give you excuses as to why he can’t show up.
  • He talks to you like his sister or mother. His conversation will dwell on normal things, not love or romance.

Questions & Answers

  • If a guy doesn’t text a lot, does that mean that he doesn't like me?

    Some guys just don’t like texting and prefer face to face conversations instead. But if he’s not communicating with you much at all, I’m guessing he’s not really interested.

    The good news is that there will be some other guy in your future who will love to talk and text with you. You just have to wait until you find him.

  • How do I tell him that I like him ?

    If you really want to tell him you like him, just say something like 'I like you, you're funny' or 'I like you, you seem nice.' But if you don't know him well enough to say that kind of thing to him yet, I suggest you start by saying 'hi' or 'good morning' as you pass him. It seems really awkward to be blurting out 'I like you' to someone you don't know at all, so start by being more subtle with a simple greeting and see what happens from there.

  • What should I do if the guy I've been with for five years thinks his friend's death is more important than our anniversary? He no longer helps me financially even though he sees me struggling. Do you think he is spending time with someone else now that he's behaving differently?

    I don't care how many years a couple has been together. If a friend dies around the time of an anniversary, I'd consider the friend's death to be more important. But if you're having ongoing problems, you should talk with him about why it doesn't feel like you're in a good place.

    A person doesn't have to be seeing someone else for a relationship to become stale. Sometimes we just grow apart or lose the passion and interest for no apparent reason. But that's reason enough to reassess and consider moving on. If the guy can't meet your emotional needs, perhaps he's not the right guy for you.

  • What if the guy likes touching my hand and laughs at my jokes, but seems to like another girl? Does he like us both or just her?

    I think he probably likes the two of you, and that's okay. He's still getting to know you both. It makes sense to spend time with a bunch of different people before deciding who suits you best as a possible partner. Don't be jealous. Jealousy is not a good look.

    I encourage you to talk and laugh with more than just one boy. All people change as they grow older. It is good to make friends with lots of people when you're young, so you'll be comfortable talking with them when you are older. Don't obsess about one guy just yet. And try not to fall into the mistake of viewing this boy's attention as some kind of a 'competition' between you and the other girl.

  • I am a lady and I like a certain guy who is three years younger than me. Is it right that we can flirt and even date if destiny allows?

    It sounds like you are both adults. By the time a couple is in their 20's, three years age difference isn't anything to worry about. As they get even older, it becomes even less of an issue. The only time when three years is a big deal is when one or both of them are teenagers.

    If you're both adults, I encourage you to flirt and date the guy. Your age is just a number. The big question is whether or not you are compatible.

© 2012 Daniel Long

Comments

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    • profile image

      Unknown 

      7 weeks ago

      I am a girl.

      This guy who messaged me first long time ago, asked me to date him. I rejected him. 3 years later, he messaged me again with a joke and we ended up talking and ended up liking him without who he was. In the end, I knew him in person this whole time but we never talked before. I told him I liked him but he had a girlfriend yet he slightly flirted with me. He ended up breaking up with husband toxic relationship and tried making it work with me with hugs but didn’t want to get in a relationship bc he was still getting over her. I told him I guess we can try being best buds and he accepted yet he didn’t like the fact that I called our hug “good hug for best friends” and he doesn’t like me calling him close friend??? No we are fiat bumping and he told me he is trying to move on, when he does then he will be okay. He only messages me when we are in the same class which is only one class, then he walks me to my class.

      What’s his plan?? I’m so stressed and confused.

    • profile image

      Veeca 

      2 months ago

      We have a baby together he promised to marry me in no time but due to my father's advise I had to stop having sex with him, although he hasn't married me yet he is complaining of he loosing interest in me based on having any feelings for sex for me,and now he sees me just as a sister and that even if we get married he was still going to be the same,I really love him and want to make things right.please how do I go about it because whenever I engage him towards love making he tells me he is not interested

    • profile image

      Abigail 

      2 months ago

      Okay i just told my friend I have feelings for him. But I don’t know if he does too. I can’t tell if he likes me or not. We text all the time hang out at school all the time, we talk about our issues we have. And he seems to care about what i think. But I don’t know If he likes me back. I’m not good with these things. I really need help.

    • profile image

      Ammei 

      3 months ago

      I am in class 10th. I have a crush on a boy he is very intelligent, he don’t talk to me always but whenever he talks , he becomes gentle . I have been seeing him since 4 years . I think he love me, but he never talks to me unnecessarily. His friend always show feelings towards me but I don’t like him and my crush is also trying to make me fall in love with his friend. I know it is not love and I even tried hard to know what’s in his mind but i can’t just read his mind or feelings for. Is it that he take me as his sis and trying to tie me with someone else.

    • profile image

      PreciouS 

      3 months ago

      I saw a guy on facebook and he became my friend from the we exchange numbers and started chating abouton whatspp two month now but l develop a kind of strong feeling for dis guy to the extend dat if l dont hear from this guy aday l become dusturb so l told him about my feelings for him but the reply he give me is dat cool so how kan l noe if dis guy loves me

    • profile image

      Karen 

      3 months ago

      I am testing.

    • profile image

      Ella 

      3 months ago

      Hi

      I have a question. There is a boy where I work. We have been seeing each other from past 5-6 months but it's just eye contact and after lunch when I am walking around with my friends he also comes there. Then also we stare each other. Earlier his friends never used to see me, But from past 2-3 days his friends are constantly sees me whenever I am around and now he stares me less. What does this behaviour mean? Has he told his friends to keep ap eye on me,whether I am looking at him or not?

    • profile image

      len 

      3 months ago

      I like a boy...but they avoid me because I told my friend to ask him and try getting him for me..but it pissed him more. What should I do because another girl likes him and there more close how can I atleast get to make him like me?

    • profile image

      debbie 

      4 months ago

      just looking 4 a partnenr in life who cares..i have no one to share real things with.

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      4 months ago from All Over

      Three dates isn’t really enough time to get to know someone properly, Bianca. You’ve obviously decided it is not ‘lust’ that will get you together but falling in love with someone requires an appreciation for many different aspects of a person’s personality. Trust and respect are pretty high up in any relationship that has any hope of lasting a long time.

      You don’t have to be in a hurry to kiss him but I do think you should tell him if you want to spend more time and get to know him better. If you show no interest he will probably walk away.

      Talk about issues and minterests and see how much you have in common. Most of us who are happily married did not have ‘love at first sight’. (They tend to be partners you’re madly in love with for a few weeks or maybe even months, before reality and their awful personalities take over and the relationship ends.)

      You say this guy is super sweet and kind, Bianca. I don’t understand why you’re not willing to give him a chance. Seems pointless to be dreaming about a guy who isn’t into you ... and is probably nowhere near as sweet and kind.

      If it doesn’t work out you can walk away later, but this is a real chance to possibly find real happiness. You’d be mad to decide he’s no good for you after just a few dates. Get busy and get real. Spend more time together and find out what he’s really like.

      Then kiss him. You might discover you like it, and see him in a different light. Yep, he just might be the guy for you.

    • profile image

      Bianca 

      4 months ago

      I have been single for years.. But now a guy is VERY interested in me and after 3 dates I still don’t feel it.. I really don’t want to kiss him. He is super sweet and kind and I will hate to turn him down. I’m afraid I will never meet a guy that likes me that much again since it’s been years since I last time got this much attention from a guy. I have read somewhere that the guy should love you more than you like him if you want a great relationship. But to be honest I have my thoughts on another guy and I don’t think he is into me. Should I give the guy I have dated one more chance? I fear to become an old cat lady.

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      4 months ago from All Over

      Jane, he might be busy. Or maybe you're sending him too many messages. I suggest you look for more signs.

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      4 months ago from All Over

      Joy, I'm sure you probably like the guy but I'm not convinced you love him. If he never notices you, you can't know him at all well.

      So I suspect you're just disappointed you didn't get the chance to have a big love affair. But that's oksy. Someone else will come along.

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      4 months ago from All Over

      I removed your email address, Neda. Don't want strangers writing to you. In answer to your question, I think you should ask the guy if he sees any chance for a future for you both or if he thinks the distance is too great a challenge.

      If you are prepared to move where he is, ask him if he thinks that's a good idea. Or maybe he might move near you. You need to have this kind of conversation with him instead of trying to guess how he feels.

      Talk with him about it today. Tell him you're giving thought to what next year holds for you. If there's no improvement, move on to a nee relationship closer to home.

    • profile image

      Jane 

      4 months ago

      What does it mean if he doesn't reply back early? Does that mean he's not interested anymore?

    • profile image

      Neda 

      4 months ago

      Hi.i fell in love with a guy and we have long distance relationship. We have seen each other only 2 times. We only use to text each other. We both are adults. Up to now he never ever shares his feelings or emotions with me. Doesn't even send a simple emotional emoji in his text. Never sharing his personal events but seeing and replying my texts so soon I wish he would love me the same as me. I don't know what to do. I struggle with myself to forget him but it seems impossible for me. I figure that he wants to keep in touch with me but not as his girlfriend. Plz help me. I suppose I am in a dark road without any light ending.

    • profile image

      Beauty joy 

      4 months ago

      I love the guy so much but he never notice me alese anytime he had a queried with his girlfriend that's when he will remember me

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      5 months ago from All Over

      Dana, he's just a guy you have a crush on. Crushes pass, so don't worry if it isn't working out with that guy.

      Don't chase him. Enjoy hanging out with your friends. Another guy will catch your attention soon enough.

      Unsuccessful crushes are simply a part of life. We all have them along the way to finding a genuine partner. So consider this guy part of your life experience ... and move on.

    • profile image

      Dana 

      5 months ago

      Hi. There is this guy who I'm head over heels for. We used to be really close friends. One day, I was at school in the lunch line. We were going to have a test in band class. I saw my best friend standing in front of my crush. I went up to her to ask her a question about the test. as soon as my crush saw me he ran away. Next I saw another one of my friends. She was yelling my name out across the hallway. Another coincidence, he was in front of her to. He was staring at me in a way that you make when your scared, grossed out or surprised about something . So he ran away once again. When I offered him gum he ignored me. What should I do?

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      5 months ago from All Over

      Indah, if your boyfriend is working on a cruise ship he'll be busy, busy, busy and meeting lots of new people. He might not have anyone else, but it sounds like he certainly doesn't have time to spend on your relationship and making you feel loved.

      I think you should be looking for someone closer to home with more time for you.

    • profile image

      Indah 

      5 months ago

      Me and my boyfriend are on long distance relationship, we were fine in couple of months and after he found a job in cruise ship, he changed a lot. he never reply my message or even read it. is it means that he not interested in our relationship anymore or maybe he has someone else.?

      I been worried every time and it seems like he does not care anymore

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      5 months ago from All Over

      It depends on the guy, Hannah. Some guys will walk away, others may stay in your life as a friend. We all have lots of people who enter our lives for a while, but we grow apart for one of many reasons. Being left behind isn't really a big deal. Other people will enter your life in the future, and among them will be your 'special someone'.

      When the right person comes along, past disappointments are forgotten.

    • profile image

      hannah 

      5 months ago

      if a guy doesn't like you will they walk away and leave you behind?

    • profile image

      rose 

      6 months ago

      I love that guy I talk to him but I dnt know how to tell him that I love him

    • profile image

      Abi 

      6 months ago

      Oh guys just make me fall out of no where, i swear like it is true.

    • profile image

      Gina 

      6 months ago

      My golf coach who was my crush snitched on me to the director of special Olympics because I was doing things that are considered inappropriate behavior unfortunately after that little problem I decided to never love another guy from special Olympics ever again

    • Pjpage profile image

      Pj Page 

      6 months ago from St. Petersburg, Fl

      Great article with very thorough information. These type of behaviors can definitely be seen in teenagers as well as adults. While I was reading these I could see girls doing these behaviors, too. I like that you also put in solutions of what to do rather than just focusing on the problem. I also have articles published touching on building and strengthening relationships that you are free to check out. Great hub, good luck to you!

    • profile image

      hannah 

      6 months ago

      men are silly

    • profile image

      Mystic 

      6 months ago

      Daimy as long as it's just teasing if you're actually bullying him then no but you can tease him in a friendly way

    • profile image

      From anomes 

      6 months ago

      I’m 14 and my crush snitched on me so probably not!!!

    • profile image

      deeksha u 

      6 months ago

      i am in love with my friend but he didnt meet me since 1 year ....

    • profile image

      Daimy 

      6 months ago

      Is it fine if you pick on the guy you like

    • profile image

      Ariela 

      6 months ago

      okay I think the guy like me but I'm not so sure because I keep on going up to him he doesn't talk to me I want to know if he ever liked me because it went out once but I don't think it was real I'm just asking cuz I'm so confused I really like this guy but I just don't think that he likes me back I love him and I just want a real relationship I liked him for 3 years he does not notice me I want him to but he just doesn't what do I do please tell me

    • profile image

      Floxy 

      6 months ago

      I need true relationship

    • profile image

      Hazel 

      7 months ago

      I truly love the guy

    • profile image

      Savannah 

      7 months ago

      Yes my crush likes me

    • profile image

      mercie 

      7 months ago

      I really love the advice

    • profile image

      Neshimila 

      7 months ago

      I Love the guy

    • profile image

      Lauren 

      8 months ago

      I knew a guy didn't like me back but like an idiot I stayed friends with him but then I slowly began to see flashing lights that I wasn't really happy being just friends with him it was a hard choice but I ended the friendship with him a month ago it was no big loss for me because he wasn't even that great as a friend

    • profile image

      laura 

      8 months ago

      what do I do if my crush knows I like him because my friend told him and he replied by saying I dont have feelings for her?

    • profile image

      Litseoane 

      10 months ago

      i want true love

    • profile image

      Chlo3 

      11 months ago

      My crush avoids me, but likes to look at me and sometimes he tries to start a convo by saying "Oh, I thought you said something to me"

      Does he like me?

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      11 months ago from All Over

      Nancy, if it is not working out with the guy and he’s moving on, you don’t really have a choice. I think you should be prepared to get out and find someone new.

    • profile image

      Kaule 

      12 months ago

      I think a guy likes me what to do what to do?

    • profile image

      gift Victor 

      12 months ago

      i need true relationship

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