30 Sure Signs That a Guy Doesn't Like You Back: How to Know If He Isn't Interested in You

Updated on June 14, 2019
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Fresh perspective on dating issues compiled in consultation with friends in North America, Australia and African nations.

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How to Tell If a Guy Doesn't Like You

Guys often give very specific signs that they aren't interested. Men aren't always the best verbal communicators, but if you can pick up on some of the other signs that they are sharing, you'll be much better off.

There are many signs of attraction that men and women show when they have an interest in one another. By looking and thoroughly observing the body language and the general behavior of the person, you can conclude whether or not he or she has an interest in you.

In this article, I will describe in detail the many signs that guys show when they don’t like a girl. You might be interested in this guy, but how sure are you that he has the same feelings for you? This seems like a hard question to answer for many women, and it doesn't need to be. You can observe the behavior of the guy you like and determine for yourself if he has feelings for you.

Signs That He's Not Interested

  • He keeps his distance, which means he wants to make sure you aren't close to one another.
  • He will avoid making physical contact with you (i.e., no touching or hugging).
  • He prefers to associate and spend more time with other girls.
  • He seems uninterested in things you do.
  • His eye contact with you doesn’t last long. He will stare at you for a moment and blink his eye away.
  • He doesn't smile or laugh when you're together, and he doesn’t laugh at your jokes.
  • He asks you for advice about his relationships with other girls

  • He tends to do the exact opposite of what you're doing.
  • His conversation with you is strictly “professional” and revolves around normal things, rather than flirting or teasing.
  • You are always the conversation starter and not the other way round.
  • He doesn't congratulate you when you do something extraordinary or special. He just says “Good for you” or responds without enthusiasm.
  • He doesn’t seem to notice when you put on makeup, fragrance, or sexy clothes.
  • He doesn’t get jealous when you are with other guys. If he liked you, it wouldn’t have been easy for him to tolerate seeing you with other men.
  • He never gives you gifts.
  • He will avoid you and the places you go.
  • He doesn’t call you unless he has business or work-related things to discuss with you.

Would he rather look at his phone than at you?
Would he rather look at his phone than at you? | Source

Signs That Your He Doesn't Like You

  • Would he get upset when someone harasses you in front of him? If not, that is an indication that he may not care about you.
  • If he avoids being near you at social functions, he may not want to be seen with you.
  • You borrow something from him, and he demands you return it immediately.
  • He doesn't seem to feel your absence.
  • He doesn't comfort you when you are having difficulties.
  • Even things that aren't that important to him seem to matter more than you, and he'd rather pay attention to those things than spend time with you.
  • He doesn't care about your whereabouts or whether or not you're safe.
  • He doesn't try to impress you.
  • His body language will clearly tell you if he likes you or not. Read this article on body language signs men show when they are interested in a woman.
  • He doesn’t ask you about your social life. In other words, he doesn't seem interested in your friends, your family, your interests and likes, etc.

  • He will only offer you help when absolutely necessary. If he liked you, he would offer you unlimited and sometimes unnecessary help.
  • He doesn't offer any financial help, even when you are struggling to make ends meet and he is better off financially.
  • When you ask him to do something for you, he doesn’t sacrifice his commitments to help you.
  • He doesn't attend your graduation or birthday party even when you invite him. He will give you excuses as to why he can’t show up.
  • He talks to you like his sister or mother. His conversation will dwell on normal things, not love or romance.

Questions & Answers

  • If a guy doesn’t text a lot, does that mean that he doesn't like me?

    Some guys just don’t like texting and prefer face to face conversations instead. But if he’s not communicating with you much at all, I’m guessing he’s not really interested.

    The good news is that there will be some other guy in your future who will love to talk and text with you. You just have to wait until you find him.

  • How do I tell him that I like him ?

    If you really want to tell him you like him, just say something like 'I like you, you're funny' or 'I like you, you seem nice.' But if you don't know him well enough to say that kind of thing to him yet, I suggest you start by saying 'hi' or 'good morning' as you pass him. It seems really awkward to be blurting out 'I like you' to someone you don't know at all, so start by being more subtle with a simple greeting and see what happens from there.

  • What if the guy likes touching my hand and laughs at my jokes, but seems to like another girl? Does he like us both or just her?

    I think he probably likes the two of you, and that's okay. He's still getting to know you both. It makes sense to spend time with a bunch of different people before deciding who suits you best as a possible partner. Don't be jealous. Jealousy is not a good look.

    I encourage you to talk and laugh with more than just one boy. All people change as they grow older. It is good to make friends with lots of people when you're young, so you'll be comfortable talking with them when you are older. Don't obsess about one guy just yet. And try not to fall into the mistake of viewing this boy's attention as some kind of a 'competition' between you and the other girl.

  • What should I do if the guy I've been with for five years thinks his friend's death is more important than our anniversary? He no longer helps me financially even though he sees me struggling. Do you think he is spending time with someone else now that he's behaving differently?

    I don't care how many years a couple has been together. If a friend dies around the time of an anniversary, I'd consider the friend's death to be more important. But if you're having ongoing problems, you should talk with him about why it doesn't feel like you're in a good place.

    A person doesn't have to be seeing someone else for a relationship to become stale. Sometimes we just grow apart or lose the passion and interest for no apparent reason. But that's reason enough to reassess and consider moving on. If the guy can't meet your emotional needs, perhaps he's not the right guy for you.

  • If you tell the guy you like that you like them and they just hold up the "OK" sign, what does that mean?

    Hard to know exactly which of these things the guy meant by the 'OK' gesture:

    1) It could be he's happy with the news (especially if he was smiling) so he's encouraging you.

    2) It might have just been the acknowledgment that he heard you. It doesn't mean he necessarily likes you, but he's heard you, so there's no need to tell him again.

    3) The other option would be that he didn't know quite what to say or do so he just gave a quick, nervous response before running away to stew over what he could have or should have said.

    I think your next step from here should be to say hello whenever you see him and make conversation when you get the chance. A relationship won't develop unless one of you breaks the ice.

© 2012 Daniel Long

Comments

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    • profile image

      Sophia 

      10 days ago

      If u love a guy and u are sure he loves u too and u made him angry and doesn't understand what you actually felt like as he misunderstood what should you do next

    • profile image

      Lauren 

      3 months ago

      Thank you Daniel now I know that Dominic never felt the same way I did so I can stop feeling guilty about ending the friendship and I don't need to think I made a mistake I ended the friendship with him two years ago now I just need him to let go of the friendship because I don't want to be just friends with him yes I was a little mean to him but he needed to understand that I'm done being just his friend either he dates me or he leaves me alone I've got no use for him as a guy friend

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      4 months ago from All Over

      Amy, you've just described the kind of guy that no girl in her right mind would want to marry. Yikes, I think you should be removing yourself from that relationship. Don't make a big fuss or try to get him to change because we both know he'll just become the same again sooner or later.

      I think you should talk with your friends and family and tell them you just want to move out and leave him behind you. Ask to move in with someone for moral support for the first few weeks (or months if you think he might become a problem) and set about making a fresh start.

      I'm absolutely positive you'll find a better match than him to spend your life with!

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      4 months ago from All Over

      Charli, I'm told some people dream about a person who becomes their future partner but it has never happened to me. I think you should take your time to get to know both of them ... but maybe pick one first and see if it works out or not before moving on to the other. Most guys don't like being 'played' so you don't want to be insincere when getting to know them.

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      4 months ago from All Over

      Ivy, if you really want to get to know the guy I think you should keep chatting. Sometimes we all say really dumb things when we don't mean to, particularly when messaging. Give the guy another chance to connect with you more effectively.

      Yes, he might have a girlfriend. If you know him in real life, that shouldn't be too hard to find out. If you don't know him in real life, remember he might be a catfish and not who you think he is. So be careful with your messages, but have fun trying to find out more about him.

    • profile image

      charli demilio 

      4 months ago

      what to do if you like two persons at a time and u dreamed about one of them does it mean were gonna be together or its just a dream

    • profile image

      Amy 

      4 months ago

      What if youve been with him for 3 years and he hasnt had any sexual contact with you for 11 months , doesnt make plans about our wedding , and spends more time playing video games then with me , watches porn , and anime

    • profile image

      Ivy 

      4 months ago

      once we had a fight in message & i.e,our first and last chat. I think he likes me but sometimes I guess that may be he has a GF. What should I do?

    • profile image

      Kith 

      4 months ago

      I am already married but I was tempted with other man. He usually look at me we have an eye to eye contact if we been together but if not he is ignoring me and he play mobile games

    • profile image

      Jasleen 

      5 months ago

      I like a guy but the thing u just find out if he feels the same but he does all the stuff that makes me happy like he drops me home,compliments me, talk about his stuff and never let conversation go off but I ask him he just send bunch of emoji still not able to figure out...but really want to so that I can take a step back he doesn't feel same

    • profile image

      Nicole 

      5 months ago

      what if you text him and he doesnt reply back to you

    • profile image

      Deepali 

      6 months ago

      We were class mates , never had a normal conversation. Only compition and fight .after 1&1/2 year of leaving the school I started romantically dreaming about him.it's about one and a half year i still dream in a same way. Then finally I decided to text him. He was like who is this???? Then I said I need a help but not from you .I said u can't even remember me so how could you help me. Then we started fighting again.after the fight. He said I know two other girls of same name that's why I am confused.then he was like Now I'm seriously asking what happened? He is like say quick. I said him him whole thing ,using the name of other boy.and he said u love him. After then he asked for a photo of that boy . After few seconds he said I sleepy hope u understand. And left the conversation. No good night, bye nothing.l really need to know what's going on. So please tell me that he likes me or not.please send me answer as soon as possible.please .......

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      7 months ago from All Over

      Hello Mmesoma. Most people I know have a similar fear. But you'll never know I it will work out or not unless you try.

      Don't ruin your chance at happiness by doubting yourself.

      Maybe you'll get your heart broken; maybe you won't. Just concentrate on having a fun and interesting time until you find out

    • profile image

      Mmesoma henry 

      7 months ago

      Am a young girl of 22 years old, I have a problem that if a guy approach me for dating, after accepting him, he will hate me

    • profile image

      Ilisha 

      8 months ago

      If a guy tells you we broke up but he,s want to sleep with you is he still want you back or hejust want to use you

    • profile image

      Yeukai Hlahleni 

      9 months ago

      My boyfriend seems to be distance but we stay together. What should i do to convince him

    • profile image

      Mille 

      9 months ago

      What if the guy is two side. He's hot an then he's cold so its hard to tell if he like you or not.

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      9 months ago from All Over

      Catharina, you just need to find the right guy. I’m pleased you’re now convinced it is time to look elsewhere! Forget about him and move on.

    • profile image

      Catharina 

      10 months ago

      OK, OK. Rub it in... He does ALL that... :(

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      13 months ago from All Over

      Gladys, I deleted your comment because I don't think you should put your full name on the internet like that.

      But in answer to your question, if your boyfriend has 'changed' and you think that he might be dating another woman, that's a definite problem. At the very least it tells me you don't really trust him.

      It sounds to me like it is time for you to find a man you can genuinely trust, if you can't trust your current boyfriend.

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      13 months ago from All Over

      He's not much of a friend if he's kissing you without your approval, Ola. You need to be honest with him and tell him to stop it because you love him as a friend, not more than that.

      Maybe you can say to him, 'If you want to find a girlfriend I'll help you, but it is not going to be me. I'm the best friend, not the girlfriend.'

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      13 months ago from All Over

      Girl, I've given you 30 clues to help you decide if he's not interested in you. If you can't figure it out, I suggest you just ask him. I'm guessing he'll appreciate the honest conversation.

    • profile image

      ola 

      13 months ago

      he is my best friend since childhood but lately he started kissing me telling me he loves me please what can i do i dont want to lose this friend

    • profile image

      Girl 

      13 months ago

      If a boy is with you but doesn’t seem interested is he just having a bad day or is he not in to you anymore

    • profile image

      Unknown 

      15 months ago

      I am a girl.

      This guy who messaged me first long time ago, asked me to date him. I rejected him. 3 years later, he messaged me again with a joke and we ended up talking and ended up liking him without who he was. In the end, I knew him in person this whole time but we never talked before. I told him I liked him but he had a girlfriend yet he slightly flirted with me. He ended up breaking up with husband toxic relationship and tried making it work with me with hugs but didn’t want to get in a relationship bc he was still getting over her. I told him I guess we can try being best buds and he accepted yet he didn’t like the fact that I called our hug “good hug for best friends” and he doesn’t like me calling him close friend??? No we are fiat bumping and he told me he is trying to move on, when he does then he will be okay. He only messages me when we are in the same class which is only one class, then he walks me to my class.

      What’s his plan?? I’m so stressed and confused.

    • profile image

      Veeca 

      16 months ago

      We have a baby together he promised to marry me in no time but due to my father's advise I had to stop having sex with him, although he hasn't married me yet he is complaining of he loosing interest in me based on having any feelings for sex for me,and now he sees me just as a sister and that even if we get married he was still going to be the same,I really love him and want to make things right.please how do I go about it because whenever I engage him towards love making he tells me he is not interested

    • profile image

      Abigail 

      16 months ago

      Okay i just told my friend I have feelings for him. But I don’t know if he does too. I can’t tell if he likes me or not. We text all the time hang out at school all the time, we talk about our issues we have. And he seems to care about what i think. But I don’t know If he likes me back. I’m not good with these things. I really need help.

    • profile image

      Ammei 

      17 months ago

      I am in class 10th. I have a crush on a boy he is very intelligent, he don’t talk to me always but whenever he talks , he becomes gentle . I have been seeing him since 4 years . I think he love me, but he never talks to me unnecessarily. His friend always show feelings towards me but I don’t like him and my crush is also trying to make me fall in love with his friend. I know it is not love and I even tried hard to know what’s in his mind but i can’t just read his mind or feelings for. Is it that he take me as his sis and trying to tie me with someone else.

    • profile image

      PreciouS 

      17 months ago

      I saw a guy on facebook and he became my friend from the we exchange numbers and started chating abouton whatspp two month now but l develop a kind of strong feeling for dis guy to the extend dat if l dont hear from this guy aday l become dusturb so l told him about my feelings for him but the reply he give me is dat cool so how kan l noe if dis guy loves me

    • profile image

      Ella 

      17 months ago

      Hi

      I have a question. There is a boy where I work. We have been seeing each other from past 5-6 months but it's just eye contact and after lunch when I am walking around with my friends he also comes there. Then also we stare each other. Earlier his friends never used to see me, But from past 2-3 days his friends are constantly sees me whenever I am around and now he stares me less. What does this behaviour mean? Has he told his friends to keep ap eye on me,whether I am looking at him or not?

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      18 months ago from All Over

      Three dates isn’t really enough time to get to know someone properly, Bianca. You’ve obviously decided it is not ‘lust’ that will get you together but falling in love with someone requires an appreciation for many different aspects of a person’s personality. Trust and respect are pretty high up in any relationship that has any hope of lasting a long time.

      You don’t have to be in a hurry to kiss him but I do think you should tell him if you want to spend more time and get to know him better. If you show no interest he will probably walk away.

      Talk about issues and minterests and see how much you have in common. Most of us who are happily married did not have ‘love at first sight’. (They tend to be partners you’re madly in love with for a few weeks or maybe even months, before reality and their awful personalities take over and the relationship ends.)

      You say this guy is super sweet and kind, Bianca. I don’t understand why you’re not willing to give him a chance. Seems pointless to be dreaming about a guy who isn’t into you ... and is probably nowhere near as sweet and kind.

      If it doesn’t work out you can walk away later, but this is a real chance to possibly find real happiness. You’d be mad to decide he’s no good for you after just a few dates. Get busy and get real. Spend more time together and find out what he’s really like.

      Then kiss him. You might discover you like it, and see him in a different light. Yep, he just might be the guy for you.

    • profile image

      Bianca 

      18 months ago

      I have been single for years.. But now a guy is VERY interested in me and after 3 dates I still don’t feel it.. I really don’t want to kiss him. He is super sweet and kind and I will hate to turn him down. I’m afraid I will never meet a guy that likes me that much again since it’s been years since I last time got this much attention from a guy. I have read somewhere that the guy should love you more than you like him if you want a great relationship. But to be honest I have my thoughts on another guy and I don’t think he is into me. Should I give the guy I have dated one more chance? I fear to become an old cat lady.

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      18 months ago from All Over

      Jane, he might be busy. Or maybe you're sending him too many messages. I suggest you look for more signs.

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      18 months ago from All Over

      Joy, I'm sure you probably like the guy but I'm not convinced you love him. If he never notices you, you can't know him at all well.

      So I suspect you're just disappointed you didn't get the chance to have a big love affair. But that's oksy. Someone else will come along.

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      18 months ago from All Over

      I removed your email address, Neda. Don't want strangers writing to you. In answer to your question, I think you should ask the guy if he sees any chance for a future for you both or if he thinks the distance is too great a challenge.

      If you are prepared to move where he is, ask him if he thinks that's a good idea. Or maybe he might move near you. You need to have this kind of conversation with him instead of trying to guess how he feels.

      Talk with him about it today. Tell him you're giving thought to what next year holds for you. If there's no improvement, move on to a nee relationship closer to home.

    • profile image

      Jane 

      18 months ago

      What does it mean if he doesn't reply back early? Does that mean he's not interested anymore?

    • profile image

      Neda 

      18 months ago

      Hi.i fell in love with a guy and we have long distance relationship. We have seen each other only 2 times. We only use to text each other. We both are adults. Up to now he never ever shares his feelings or emotions with me. Doesn't even send a simple emotional emoji in his text. Never sharing his personal events but seeing and replying my texts so soon I wish he would love me the same as me. I don't know what to do. I struggle with myself to forget him but it seems impossible for me. I figure that he wants to keep in touch with me but not as his girlfriend. Plz help me. I suppose I am in a dark road without any light ending.

    • profile image

      Beauty joy 

      18 months ago

      I love the guy so much but he never notice me alese anytime he had a queried with his girlfriend that's when he will remember me

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      19 months ago from All Over

      Dana, he's just a guy you have a crush on. Crushes pass, so don't worry if it isn't working out with that guy.

      Don't chase him. Enjoy hanging out with your friends. Another guy will catch your attention soon enough.

      Unsuccessful crushes are simply a part of life. We all have them along the way to finding a genuine partner. So consider this guy part of your life experience ... and move on.

    • profile image

      Dana 

      19 months ago

      Hi. There is this guy who I'm head over heels for. We used to be really close friends. One day, I was at school in the lunch line. We were going to have a test in band class. I saw my best friend standing in front of my crush. I went up to her to ask her a question about the test. as soon as my crush saw me he ran away. Next I saw another one of my friends. She was yelling my name out across the hallway. Another coincidence, he was in front of her to. He was staring at me in a way that you make when your scared, grossed out or surprised about something . So he ran away once again. When I offered him gum he ignored me. What should I do?

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      19 months ago from All Over

      Indah, if your boyfriend is working on a cruise ship he'll be busy, busy, busy and meeting lots of new people. He might not have anyone else, but it sounds like he certainly doesn't have time to spend on your relationship and making you feel loved.

      I think you should be looking for someone closer to home with more time for you.

    • profile image

      Indah 

      19 months ago

      Me and my boyfriend are on long distance relationship, we were fine in couple of months and after he found a job in cruise ship, he changed a lot. he never reply my message or even read it. is it means that he not interested in our relationship anymore or maybe he has someone else.?

      I been worried every time and it seems like he does not care anymore

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      19 months ago from All Over

      It depends on the guy, Hannah. Some guys will walk away, others may stay in your life as a friend. We all have lots of people who enter our lives for a while, but we grow apart for one of many reasons. Being left behind isn't really a big deal. Other people will enter your life in the future, and among them will be your 'special someone'.

      When the right person comes along, past disappointments are forgotten.

    • profile image

      hannah 

      19 months ago

      if a guy doesn't like you will they walk away and leave you behind?

    • profile image

      rose 

      20 months ago

      I love that guy I talk to him but I dnt know how to tell him that I love him

    • profile image

      Abi 

      20 months ago

      Oh guys just make me fall out of no where, i swear like it is true.

    • profile image

      Gina 

      20 months ago

      My golf coach who was my crush snitched on me to the director of special Olympics because I was doing things that are considered inappropriate behavior unfortunately after that little problem I decided to never love another guy from special Olympics ever again

    • Pjpage profile image

      Pj Page 

      20 months ago from St. Petersburg, Fl

      Great article with very thorough information. These type of behaviors can definitely be seen in teenagers as well as adults. While I was reading these I could see girls doing these behaviors, too. I like that you also put in solutions of what to do rather than just focusing on the problem. I also have articles published touching on building and strengthening relationships that you are free to check out. Great hub, good luck to you!

    • profile image

      hannah 

      20 months ago

      men are silly

    • profile image

      Mystic 

      20 months ago

      Daimy as long as it's just teasing if you're actually bullying him then no but you can tease him in a friendly way

    • profile image

      From anomes 

      20 months ago

      I’m 14 and my crush snitched on me so probably not!!!

    • profile image

      deeksha u 

      20 months ago

      i am in love with my friend but he didnt meet me since 1 year ....

    • profile image

      Daimy 

      20 months ago

      Is it fine if you pick on the guy you like

    • profile image

      Ariela 

      20 months ago

      okay I think the guy like me but I'm not so sure because I keep on going up to him he doesn't talk to me I want to know if he ever liked me because it went out once but I don't think it was real I'm just asking cuz I'm so confused I really like this guy but I just don't think that he likes me back I love him and I just want a real relationship I liked him for 3 years he does not notice me I want him to but he just doesn't what do I do please tell me

    • profile image

      Floxy 

      20 months ago

      I need true relationship

    • profile image

      Hazel 

      21 months ago

      I truly love the guy

    • profile image

      Savannah 

      21 months ago

      Yes my crush likes me

    • profile image

      mercie 

      21 months ago

      I really love the advice

    • profile image

      Neshimila 

      21 months ago

      I Love the guy

    • profile image

      Lauren 

      22 months ago

      I knew a guy didn't like me back but like an idiot I stayed friends with him but then I slowly began to see flashing lights that I wasn't really happy being just friends with him it was a hard choice but I ended the friendship with him a month ago it was no big loss for me because he wasn't even that great as a friend

    • profile image

      laura 

      22 months ago

      what do I do if my crush knows I like him because my friend told him and he replied by saying I dont have feelings for her?

    • profile image

      Litseoane 

      2 years ago

      i want true love

    • profile image

      Chlo3 

      2 years ago

      My crush avoids me, but likes to look at me and sometimes he tries to start a convo by saying "Oh, I thought you said something to me"

      Does he like me?

    • kenyaentrepreneur profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Long 

      2 years ago from All Over

      Nancy, if it is not working out with the guy and he’s moving on, you don’t really have a choice. I think you should be prepared to get out and find someone new.

    • profile image

      Kaule 

      2 years ago

      I think a guy likes me what to do what to do?

    • profile image

      gift Victor 

      2 years ago

      i need true relationship

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