Linda (Kaywood) Bilyeu is a self-published author. Her books are available on Amazon. She writes from the heart—there is no other way.
To Be Single and Mingle
Single women have spoken, and they want single men to know their likes and dislikes. Through trial and error, the single lifestyle continues to flourish while both sexes continue to make mistakes. But will they learn from their mistakes—that is the question. Hopefully, this article will provide some answers.
Both men and women have their expectations of what they are looking for in their significant other. Or perhaps they aren't looking for a mate, but instead are looking for someone to smash. For those unfamiliar with the term smash, it's also referred to as sex.
I interviewed some of my single female friends about what they want to tell men and their responses were very interesting. I was quite surprised that I only received a few duplicate responses. These women were also quick to share their advice.
I hope men don't take these responses personally, but instead take them to heart and learn a lesson or two or twenty-five. The responses should not place women in a bad spotlight as this is not my intention. Appreciate the humor, wit, sarcasm that they share. Who knows—you just might meet your match one day.
No names will be used to protect the innocent, or so they say.
Women Have Spoken
1. If you treat a girl a certain way in the beginning don't become a jerk after you get her. We understand that "we" might not click, but be considerate of our time and emotions.
2. If we ask you to meet our parents that means we really like you. By meeting our mothers you could get a glimpse of your future wife. This could be a good thing or bad, but we are willing to take the risk.
3. If you frequent bars and drink in excess, chances are we won't want you. But if you know how to pace your drinking and don't get sloppy drunk, you have a better chance for being selected.
4. Ghosting ain't cool. We understand that you would rather vanish than deal with explaining why you aren't interested, but we like closure. Supposedly if you really like us, but prefer not to be with us, you would rather ghost than hurt our feelings. Trust us, our hurt feelings will survive the aftermath. We tend to consider it as another lesson learned.
5. We like communication. We don't like when you take hours to return a text. As women, we tend to think the worse. Fights and overreactions could be prevented by simply communicating.
6. Contrary to what you have heard, honesty is key. Goes back to the saying, "I would rather be hurt with the truth than comforted with a lie." Pain builds character. Pain makes us stronger. Lies are a waste of constructive energy and a sign of weakness.
7. We aren't kids anymore and time is precious. Be truthful upfront about what you expect of us. Be real, you will know quickly if you sense a future with someone. Do not string us along because it's 'better than being alone' or until you find a right swipe that you like better. This is not fair to either of us.
8. Break the stereotypes of just saying things to keep the peace or calm us down. Have the difficult conversations with us. We promise it will make things go more smoothly.
9. Do not use sex as a weapon. It's nearly impossible to come back from that.
10. Just like men do not like drama, neither do most women. So, save the drama for your mama.
Communication Is Key
11. Size really doesn't matter.
12. We will go above and beyond for you when we feel we are appreciated. Resentment begins if we feel we are being taken advantage of.
13. Do not be rude and check out other women when you are with us. We understand that at times it might be difficult not to look, but do so in a tasteful manner. Women have about perfected the ogle.
14. To most men it comes natural to walk away or go to sleep mad. Most women do not like that! Saying something as simple as 'lets take a breather and discuss this tomorrow' could make a major difference in how you feel about the situation.
15. We would appreciate it if men would stop making comments such as 'don't be crazy' or 'you are just hormonal.' Just because you express emotions differently, we would hope that you respect our feelings instead of writing them off as mood swings. Stop and listen to us without distractions such as the TV or your phones.
16. While we do appreciate it when you pick up the check, please don't be offended when we actually want to treat you. It doesn't make you any less of a man to have us pay for your drinks or meals.
17. Do not be offended if we just want to hook up. It's not just men who don't want to make a commitment and would rather just have a Wham, Bam, Thank you, Sir.
Slow and Steady
18. If you can't make a solid plan than we are not taking you serious. Women don't read minds. We don't just assume.
19. Not all women are gold diggers. Just because we have never been married doesn't mean there's something wrong with us. We just haven't met the right one and we don't want to settle.
20. We prefer not to mother you so try your best not to be needy. We want to be with a man who is confident with himself and does not require ego boosts.
21. We do not need you to smell like you bathed in cologne. We shouldn't be able to smell you from 15 feet away. You shouldn't leave a trail of fumes when you walk by. We much prefer the scent of body soap.
22. Don't make bold statements about our personality traits when you first meet us. You come across as a weirdo or just trying to smash us. Do not assume you know us unless we give you the thumbs up.
23. Compliments are nice to receive—but in moderation. If compliments are excessive then we might assume you are up to no good. We much prefer tokens and acts of kindness over words of flattery. Buy us a single flower. Open the car door for us. Chivalry isn't really dead as some might have heard.
24. Respect us and you will get the same in return. Disrespect us and you will also get the same in return. It takes two to tango.
25. If we like each other, let's take it slow. There will be no need to rush things. As we have learned the quicker a relationship is rushed, the quicker it will combust. Slow and steady.
Learn the Five Love Languages
© 2018 Linda Bilyeu