I enjoy helping men improve their style, romantic relationships, and quality of life.
You Can Be Better Than Just a "Good" Boyfriend: Here's How
Being in love is one thing, but keeping that love alive is another. An ideal man needs to master the art of both. Once you have found your dream girl, follow these tips to keep her head over heels for you.
Keep in mind that you need to live your best life as well. Many of these tips are about developing yourself to become a better, more attractive man. Just because you've found your dream girl does not mean you can start taking it easy on yourself and getting lazy with your life and appearance.
How to Be a Good Boyfriend
- Know your girl
- Be sweet and caring
- Be surprising and spontaneous
- Keep challenging her
- Help her with chores
- Be her hero
- Be understanding and patient
- Be in control of things
- Be romantic
- Win over her friends and family
- Know how to handle her passionately
- Be fashionable and well-groomed
- Elevate your status and position
- Do things to develop yourself
- Have a unique personality
- Give her space
- Work on developing your body and your fitness
- Continue to invest in yourself
- Be kind and generous to others
- Plan activities together
How to Be a Better Boyfriend
If there is one general piece of wisdom I'd like to impart for you guys out there, it is this: working on being a better boyfriend and a better person is a process. The process is continuous, and there will always be something for you to improve on. Continue to work on yourself, your relationship with your girlfriend, and all of your personal relationships. The rewards may not be instant, but I guarantee that putting in the effort will improve your relationships.
1. Always Know Your Girl
Always be interested in learning more about your girlfriend. When you’re talking with her or chatting with her online, ask inquisitive questions that may open up into personal discussions—though of course, don’t ask a boring series of long questions, it's not an interview. Have good conversations with her about important memories, childhood experiences, future plans, desires, dreams, and future ambitions. Ask open-ended questions that allow her to tell you a story about your life. Try to avoid bland questions that strangers bring up in conversation with each other, such as "how was your day?" Instead, ask her something more specific, such as "what was the coolest thing you did today?"
Remember, you're getting to know her every day and in many different ways, not just through questions and conversations. Study her; know her interests, likes, dislikes, favorites, hobbies, and fantasies.
Knowing your girl well will help you choose the perfect gifts to give her, plan thoughtful surprises, and perform other gestures that will win her heart because she will be able to tell you really listened. It’ll also save you some trouble by avoiding unnecessary misunderstandings that might have occurred otherwise. You will know your girl more than anyone else, and when the two of you are deeply connected intellectually, it will strengthen the bond of your relationship to such an extent that you will become inseparable. You will be different than her past boyfriends or other male friends because what you share with her is something completely unique, which she won't get anywhere else.
2. Be Sweet and Caring
Always remember to do sweet things for her—do not only rely on sweet turns of phrase. Actions speak louder than words, so show the amount of care and concern you have for her through nice gestures.
For example, give her a gift, but make it thoughtful—something that you know she wants or needs, whether that be books or something related to her field or profession which you know will help her in the long run. It can be something simple and cute; it can even be cheap, so long as it's thoughtful.
Simplify her life that way and in many other different ways. If something is bothering her, then be her rock and solve it for her, and if she mentions something is depressing her, sympathize with her and offer her a caring ear and a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes people just want you to listen instead of just proposing an immediate solution to their problems.
If you're there when she’s falling asleep, end her day with something sweet, like a forehead kiss, poem, short song, short story with a happy ending, a joke that suits her sense of humor, or anything that'll make her dream of you that night. You don't necessarily have to follow this routine, just be creative.
In the morning, remember to call her and ask her how she is, then ask her how she slept. Know whether she is feeling sick. Be the first one to do these things, and be thoughtful and considerate towards her. This shows that you care not only about her body, but also about her as a person. Do something special for her once in a while that'll make her remember you when you're not with her.
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Warning: Don't call her multiple times a day. You need to set limits, as attention can backfire if you are suffocating her with your clingy or needy attitude. Depending on your personalities, you don't even need to call her every day. Give her the time to miss you as well. You have to continue doing the other things in your life that you are passionate about. One of the worst things you can do is act too needy and clingy, as that will kill passion and romance very quickly.
3. Be Surprising and Spontaneous
Every once in a while, prepare something very nice and big for the two of you as a surprise. It can be anything from preparing lunch or dinner to taking her somewhere exotic or fun; just plan it, then surprise her. For your soulmate, you want to do something that will make her feel special; do things that will make her realize that she’s lucky to have you.
For example, take her out to a quiet, elegant restaurant for dinner. Then after a nice meal, serve her a dessert in the form of an excellent poem you've composed yourself. Or suddenly announce an impromptu scavenger hunt or hiking trip you've been secretly planning.
Things should be prepared well beforehand, and carried out in an organised way. These surprises and secret activities don't have to involve expensive material things, just fun things that you know that both of you will enjoy together. Be unpredictable, but in a good way—this creates anticipation, as she keeps wondering what's next. You'll never bore her this way, and your relationship will always be vibrant.
Don't ever be predictable or drive your relationship into a routine. Trust me; you'll thank me later.
4. Challenge Her and Don't Be a Pushover
Girls love a challenge just as much as men do. Sometimes, being too straightforward and serious in a relationship can be a big source of boredom and complacency. Keep her life interesting by challenging her to do new things—for example, if she runs for fun, but never runs in races, suggest training for a half marathon together.
You can also break up the monotony by teasing her playfully (don't be annoying) about something she really likes, whether it’s a certain food, the way you touch her, the words she likes to hear you say, or something which she wants you to do for her. Make her really want it before you tease her; this can make the entire relationship more interesting every time you do it. Have a wide sense of humor; don’t ever take things too seriously—not even your mistakes. Instead, learn from them, take the time to laugh them off together, and continue enjoying things to the fullest.
Lastly, don't hand out compliments in a way that isn't meaningful—this can make you appear desperate, insecure, or insincere. Instead, wait for a moment that you honestly appreciate, so that when you comment on it, it's important to her. Being too easy or handing out flattering compliments on demand does not challenge her to be her best. Instead, by judicious and teasing in a creative, fun, and loving way—though without being rude at any cost. You'll see that this is what keeps the relationship stimulating and alive.
5. Help Her With Her Chores
If you live near her or with her, be a gentleman and help her out with her house chores. Remember, chores are the things which are not fun to do, but we do them anyway because we have to. So if you show up and help her do her chores, which are neither fun nor something you have to do, it’ll prove it that you care about her and are concerned about her, and she’ll love you for it.
Help her run some errands or do the grocery shopping. Then make it fun, unlike the boring task, it would have been if she was alone. When working together with her, also take the time to talk about your relationship, make fun of the activity you’re doing, or joke around to make the atmosphere lively, which will make her notice the difference when you're absent. She’ll know how fun it would to be to one day live with you. Plus it’ll earn you points with her parents and friends. A handy boyfriend is every girl's pride, and there are not many of them. In fact, they're a rare species.
Warning: Don’t waste too much time with her, or it’ll make her be uncomfortable. Remember to give her space. She needs time to herself to do her own things and recharge and so do you.
6. Be Her Hero in Every Aspect of Her Life
Besides helping her with her chores around the house, be the kind of man who looks out for her and is there for her every time she needs you. Be the kind of man who is there to shelter her from the storms of life.
When she’s sick, go to her place/hospital, take care of her, and be beside her sickbed to cheer her up and let her know that she’ll be just fine. When somebody or something is bothering her, stand up for her with confidence and fight for her.
Give her the feeling of safety, comfort, confidence, and assurance when she’s with you. Also, try to excel in your professional life, so when she is dealing with obstacles to her ambitions and goals, you can be there to inspire her, support her in her interests, and motivate her to pursue her dreams.
Give her advice and help her out even if she doesn't ask for it; sometimes girls want you to notice things and help them out without their having to ask for assistance. All this is how a relationship grows and develops; this sort of partnership interaction is what builds invincible bonds between couples.
Warning: Avoid coming off as controlling or manipulative. Do not call her incessantly wanting to know where she is. Also don't be excessively insecure when she’s not with you. Remember that she needs some time alone and can also take care of herself. As it turns out, if you are too controlling and you act too insecure around her, that will make her less attracted to you and it will harm your relationship.
7. Be Understanding and Patient With Your Girl
If your girl isn’t ready for any intimate activities, understand her and be patient with her. A lot is happening in a girl’s mind when trying to choose a life-long partner; she has to think things through again before accepting the fact that you’ll be her life-long partner.
Forcing her to move too quickly or do things she isn't ready to do is harassment and will damage your relationship. Trust me; you have a lot of control about how a girl feels about you if you know women and what makes them fall for a guy. If you were unaware of how to treat a woman, and as a result, you did something to upset her, be the one to apologize and mean it. A large amount of sympathy has to flow from you towards her.
Instead of trying to force the issue, be patient and let nature handle the rest. Let her come to you when she’s ready, and she will—depending on what you're doing to her or how you're treating her, of course. Everything that you do has an impact, either increasing or reducing your chances with her. Respect her decisions, and she will respect yours as well.
More than that, she will love you for your patience and consideration. Love isn’t really only about making love to the girl of your dreams. More importantly, you've got to really care about her and be sensitive to her feelings.
If you have a moody girlfriend, instead of being angry with her mood swings, just be the man she thinks you are and be the one to calm her down. Strong men aren't impulsive or easily angered; they're the ones who settle things down—in any situation, not just relationship with your girlfriend. Learn to be a man who isn't annoyed easily by people—someone who's very calm in any situation.
Girls respond to how you treat them. Whatever you want from them, they'll give you if you approach them in the right manner, not just sex but many other things. As a man, you ought to know that and be proactive in your approach with them, patiently and effortlessly.
If she isn't into you, then it's obvious that you haven't created an atmosphere that would support her being into you; not her fault, dude, it's yours!
8. Be in Control of Things
You have to take control over your life and your relationship. Be the driver of the world around you. Be proactive. Drive your life instead of letting it drive you. Here are some things to keep in mind:
- Women love a guy who has confidence in what he does. They fall for men who handle things and act according to what needs to be done.
- Make your life a well-organised one by putting proper programs in your activities and routines.
- Have definite goals, make a plan of reaching them, and integrate that plan into your daily activities.
- Accomplish your goals no matter how small they are because they'll give you so much power to handle big tasks in a demanding situations and reach bigger goals.
- Exude confidence in everything that you do, whether or not you’re together; your confidence has to be abundant and authentic. Take control of your life and everything that surrounds you.
When she’s mad, upset, sad, or unhappy with something, know what to do in order to right her mood. When something bad happens, know what to do. Try different things to cheer her up until you get it right, trial and error is a great teacher.
Don’t only be her boyfriend, but also be her guardian and caregiver. When you're in control, you're exuding an energy that is extremely attractive to women and girls of all types, something which she'll turn you into her own personal addiction.
Girls of all ages love a man who's in control of things; it provides the ultimate sense of security.
9. Be Romantic
Buy flowers and her favorite food to woo and surprise her the next time you meet. Find an excellent spot like a beach, so the two of you can sit and talk. Then when you’re there, sweet talk her, remind her of the qualities that drew you to her in the first place, restate her beauty, and be charming and genuine. Hold her when both of you are walking alone, she wants you to; put your hand around her waist when the time is right. Greet her with a hug while you whisper something nice in her ear, like, “You’re so beautiful, and I’m very lucky to have you in my life.” Remember to compliment her every day, feed her sweet words that suit her and are sincere. That's the best gift you can give her.
Think outside of the box to charm the girl of your dreams. Buy her a big teddy bear to hug at night or mugs or gold necklaces engraved with her name. Alternatively, you could craft handmade gifts, which are often even better because they let her know that she's on your mind. Make her a great dinner or better yet arrange for the two of you to make it together, with candlelight and soft music—nothing like it.
Warning: Don't do any one of these things too often, as she will become used to it, and it will eventually lose its intended impact. Do it often enough to be characteristic of your relationship, but not so often as to become part of your everyday life. Be creative and find a million ways to be romantic, so she doesn't get used to the same routine every time—routine is dangerous in a relationship! Doing something surprising and romantic is a great way to break up the monotonous moments of a relationship, but you have to be careful about it. In many ways, overdoing something is worse than underdoing something, so be strategic about what you do.
10. Win the Hearts of Her Loved Ones
Don't let your life and your attention only revolve around her. Your girlfriend will get bored with that no matter how understanding or passionate she is. Make sure to also win the affection of the people who are very close to her, whether they are her parents, siblings, other relatives, or friends. Charm them all, the more the better. Why? Two reasons:
- You’ll have people who have a say in her life to back you up when you screw things up sometimes. They will be the ones to convince her that whatever you did wasn't intentional and that you still love her.
- She will trust you more since she will know that you’re interested not only in her but in her company as well. This earns you plenty of points, man!!
Plus talking to her friends, siblings, or parents gives you a different perspective of your girlfriend since you'll know her from different eyes now—you will know what she was like when she was a child and what she was like in school.
In short, you will get to know her more in-depth, and that my, friend, is a very important tool to have in your relationship arsenal—it's a cheat sheet for your relationship because you'll dig up a lot of information about her that will always work in your favor.
You can now surprise her with some things that only she and her mother know, and then she'll be wondering how you found that one out. Or her closest friend will give you a secret weapon to win her heart over once again. Knowing her from her social circle is very important, my friend, so get on it immediately!
11. Know How to Handle Her Passionately
If you want her to feel the same way about you as you feel toward her, then you've got to express your love passionately not only through words but also through actions. Let me repeat: action. Learn how to kiss a girl passionately, in a way that it will bring sparks to her body.
As her man, you must master her body the same way a pianist masters his instrument. Know what turns her on and what turns her off, and make it your mission to satisfy her in every way possible, not only in kissing or making love but also in other romantic or non-romantic things she enjoys. Experiment until you find a list of things she likes for you to do for her and add them to your repertoire—it's your job to find them.
Do you know the most sexual organ in a woman's body? I know what you thought. That's not it, you pervert!
It's her brain.
To satisfy her in every way possible, you also have to learn her non-romantic passions. What are her interests, hobbies, or desires? Find fun activities she enjoys, then do those with her sometimes, in the way that she wants them to be done!
12. Be Fashionably Well-Groomed
Enough about her, now we're coming back to you. Ovid once said, “If you want to be loved, be lovable." There’s nothing that makes a man more attractive than his ability to chose the right clothes and appearance to promote his looks.
Looks in a man are largely influenced by his dress and grooming habits. Thus, a little fashion can make you a lot more attractive. Learn to wear well-made clothes that fit your body type and skin tone, and always wear well-tailored clothes. Wear nice shoes that match your outfit and fit in with your style. Trashy footwear is very common right now, so getting yourself a nice pair of shoes or boots will make you stand out.
Study the male leads in movies and other celebrities in order to learn a fashion that suits you from head to toe. You don't have to wear the same thing as a celebrity; the key is to pick up on their style and to gather as many ideas as possible until you have a stock of them. It's inspiration that you're looking for; do not copy anyone.
I cannot stress this enough: get clothes that fit your body and match your complexion. Try to keep things simple and don't go crazy with outlandish accessories.
Also remember that for clothes it's the quality that counts, not the quantity. Get just a few expensive pieces if you can’t afford too many good quality clothes; don't go for a ton of bulky cheap clothing. Simple style is winning style, so you can get a lot of mileage out of a simple t-shirt and jeans combo if you do it correctly.
Some men have a false belief that looks don't matter when it comes to love; that's naïve. It's because she spent a lot amount of money and time on beauty products, clothing, and fitness that you're attracted to her right now. Why would you think that looks wouldn't factor into a girl's attraction to a man? So be like her and make yourself lovable—in other words, make it easier for her to be attracted to you.
Girls have a remarkable natural ability to scrutinize things objectively, so your girlfriend can tell if your look is classic and expensive or if it is drop-dead cheap from head to toe. She’ll know if you bought your suit from Charlie down across the street or if it’s a Gucci. What she will also notice is the fit of the clothes you wear and how the colors aid or detract from your overall look.
One of the other most important things is to make sure you smell good. Be hygienic all the time and use designer fragrances. That's grooming. Shave unnecessary body hair and get a $60-$80 haircut, one that'll make you stand out from the crowd. Don't douse yourself in cologne either, just a few sprits on your neck and wrists. No one likes it when someone reeks of cologne; it makes them seem trashy and sleazy.
Hey if you're romantic, sweet and all, but if you can't dress, you'll still strike out. It shows that you don't have time to take care of yourself, and if that's the case, how can she be sure that you'll be able to take good care of her in the future?
These small things have a big impact in creating or diminishing attraction. When you're well-groomed, she won't ever let you go. Plus she'll have a serious competition to deal with—great stuff.
Browse online to find style inspiration, always work hard to improve your wardrobe, and constantly strive to develop yourself. Find grooming and dressing tips from online and offline man's magazines—let everything inspire you, man!
13. Elevate Your Status and Position
This is one of the most important tips, no matter your profession or field of study. Get in the habit of doing your best in everything that you do. Strive to attain prestige and status through your achievements. Then find a way to convert those achievements into a profession with a steady income.
Aim to live fully and independently while getting the good things you want, executing developmental projects (e.g., starting your own business), and making plans for short- and long-term future. By making yourself ambitious and interesting, you will attract successful people, events, and circumstances, but the only way to get there is through your own drive. Push yourself to reach those great heights, and realize that everything you do to build your life is not only for yourself but for the both of you. That is the source of the motivation—the realization that by doing something reckless, you will have not only failed yourself but also her.
The key here is to develop yourself financially, intellectually, socially, and professionally, so you can have a good life and productive future. This creates the best atmosphere to promote your shared love, because you will have worked to secure a good future for both of you, and she'll acknowledge it.
If you're still living with your parents, be bold and courageous in making plans to move out. From there, things will develop themselves automatically—start a business or venture into a field about which you've been passionate about for a long time. Then work from there to start developing yourself financially.
Grow. Expand. Develop. Advance. Evolve. Get your butt off the couch and take calculated risks to capitalize on opportunities to grow and advance.
Develop something you'll be proud of, and she'll be proud of you. Be the man she thinks you are. With your ambition will come self-esteem, a powerful force that in turn will give you the power to deal with anything in life, let alone your relationship. And she'll love you more for that, trust me!
14. Do Things to Increase Your Intelligence and Develop Yourself
Read books, from novels to motivational texts, and learn new languages. Take any opportunity to learn. Every girl wants a very intelligent man in her life, one who knows many things, one who knows how to run things, one who knows how to get things done, and one who knows how to get what he wants.
Thus, to guide her, take care of her, and help her plan for future life, you need to sharpen your problem-solving skills. Practice mentally challenging tasks like puzzles and quizzes and learn more about different subjects. Engage her in intellectual conversations from time to time.
Other skills of a well-rounded man, a man she will not be able to find anywhere else, are the abilities to make new cuisines, to fix things, and to deal with difficult situations. These will give you new subjects to teach and show her, fascinating things to do together, and interesting stories to recount to her. Love to learn new things every day. This is how you become irreplaceable, man.
And remember—you are doing all of these things for yourself, as well as for her! If you want to live a fulfilling life that you enjoy, you have to be the one to challenge yourself to improve. Don't just do these things to impress her: by working on yourself, you're also improving your quality of life as well.
15. Have a Unique Personality
Make sure that your personality (attitude, behaviors, interests, and activities) stands out from those of other men. Be generous in helping people in charity work and show your charming side. Show the world you have excellent moral character and principles; show them your power to attract people easily and entertain them. As stated before, cultivate a collection of interests to pursue passionately in your alone time, but which she can discover about you and perhaps one day participate in as well.
Turn everything you do into a fun adventure—even the boring things. Always be positive, even if things don’t always go your way. In these ways, you’ll be the most interesting person around—something important both in your romantic and non-romantic relationships. Don't get too caught up focusing on her, but find plenty of time to evolve yourself too. Trust me; it's for a greater good!
Again, there is no excuse for you when it comes to putting in the work to better yourself, other than laziness. Develop a mindset of constant growth and development and you will be amazed at how much your life changes.
16. Give Her Space
Sometimes you should give your girl time to miss you. Give her the time and space she needs, whether she wants to hang out with friends (be they male or female), or she feels like being alone. Don't be a clingy boyfriend who calls her constantly asking where she is and what she’s doing. This will make you appear insecure and desperate to a girl which is not cool at all; it turns girls off completely.
The reason it will be a complete turn off is that she’ll begin asking questions, like:
- If you’re possessive as a bachelor, what will you be like as a husband?
- If you can’t trust me now, will you ever be able to?
- Can’t you control your emotions and show some confidence like a mature man?
As I have emphasized before, girls love a guy who is confident enough to trust her completely while he carries on with other things. Giving her time and space will make your girl love you more for being patient and understanding enough to consider her wants. If you treat her right, by the time she’s done with her things, she’ll come back to you and love you a whole lot more; guaranteed.
Giving her space also leaves you with plenty of time to develop yourself, plan for the future, and recharge. You could also use this time on to work on your hobbies and passions. Having hobbies you enjoy will allow you to have fun without her—don't let her be the ultimate source of your happiness. That is dangerous; make sure you have a world of your own too, which you will share with her sometimes. Plus don't let her interfere with your hobbies or activities at the last moment when she's missed her fun somewhere and wants to hang out as her backup plan. Place limitations and healthy boundaries around your "me time."
17. Work on Developing Your Body, Health, and Fitness
Work out to build a great body that you'll admire yourself, well-toned and masculine. Aside from being attractive to the opposite sex, a masculine body has many advantages.
- Clothes will fit better, and a good body gives you more confidence when you're around other people as you will feel good about yourself and project that through your actions.
- On a health note, muscles support internal organs and bones and shield them in the case of an accident. They also give you great physical energy. Muscle mass is correlated with longevity
- Lastly, confidence in your body results in great body language. This is very important in communication with the opposite sex. Having positive body language is always inviting, especially to girls who are sensitive.
Girls love men with positive body language and facial expressions. So keep your chin up and shoulders back, stop stooping, and walk in a relaxed and confident manner, like you know where you’re going and why.
Whenever you’re sitting with someone (and especially when you're setting with her), remember to never take on negative body language. Always display pleasing qualities that your body has to offer. Your expressions should be coordinated; when she’s happy, be happy with her; when she’s sad, be sad with her. Empathy is key to charming a woman.
Create two different programs of working out: a cardiovascular and a weightlifting routine. Having both will balance the upper and lower body and will improve your breathing and overall stamina. So it's thirty minutes of jogging every day, supplemented with a weightlifting session targeting a certain body part.
Unfortunately, each body part has its own exercise when it comes to weightlifting, there isn't a silver bullet to solve everything, so you will have to vary your weightlifting routines. Just be consistent, a lot of people in the fitness industry will try to sell you on specialized plans to get instant results, but nothing can make up for consistency. Just lift weights regularly and have a routine.