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12 Things You Need to Know Before Dating a South African Girl


Whether she lives on a farm in Bloemfontein, the busy streets of Johannesburg or the chilled suburbs of Cape Town, there's something really unique about the ladies in South Africa, and if you happen to find yourself infatuated with one, you can count yourself lucky.

They can be feisty and take no prisoners, but they're also sweet enough for you to take home to your mom.

So what should you expect when you're dating a Rooi Rok Bokkie? Of course, we're the Rainbow Nation, so we're all pretty different, but here's a little lighthearted and (incredibly) rough guideline for you if you've ever considered getting your very own Saffa girl, straight from the horse's mouth.


12. Always Be a Gentleman

South African ladies love it when you look treat her like a princess and also look after yourself, so if you're planning on taking one of them on a date, be sure you use the term "date" and not "hang out" and that you'll be the type of guy to open the door for her when you pick her up.

Nothing makes a man more attractive than showing the lady he likes that he is a keeper, and South African girls like a man that they could be proud of showing off to their friends and family. Put on your best suit and take her to a snazzy restaurant.


11. Be Prepared to Learn All About Her Traditions

The Rainbow Nation (as it's known) is full of different cultures, so you need to be sure that you research (or at least pay attention to) some of your lady's traditions. If she's a Zulu girl, she would want you to know all about the cultural aspects that make her culture unique, and if you're eyeing an Afrikaans girl, she could be big on her religion.

If you show that you have an interest in her traditions, chances are that she will respect you a lot more than if you didn't. Don't have time for traditions? Then, unless your ladylove from SA is the same, it's probably best to move along.


10. You Will Always Have a Bodyguard

When you have a South African girlfriend, you won't need a big brother. It doesn't matter who she is—if someone messes with their mother, brother, little sister or boyfriend, a Saffa girl will not take it lying down. She will make them regret the day they were born. Whether she spits venom with her words or goes all-out Van Damme on their a*ses, she will make sure they know that messing with her loved ones is a bad idea.

If there's one thing that South African girls have, it's sass. So if you're so much as rude to a Saffa girl's boyfriend, she'll make you regret the day you were born. Flirting with a man in a relationship with them should also be done with extreme caution.


9. She'll Probably Know Rugby Better Than You Do

Rugby is something that unites South Africans, no matter what age they are, what race they are or what culture they are. Whether your South African girlfriend watches rugby or not, she will, at the very least, be able to tell you what a scrum is. It's something that's trained into us from a young age, and you'll hardly walk around in a South African mall and not find someone sporting a "Springbok" jersey somewhere.

The hype around rugby in South Africa goes back decades and there's nothing more fun than chilling at a friend's "braai" on a Saturday afternoon with a Klippies and Cola, watching your guests cheer for their favourite rugby team and celebrating when the game is over. Your girl should be a pro at this as well.


8. She'll Have Her Own Name For Things

A barbecue is called a "braai", a satsuma is called a "naartjie", and any form of alcohol is called a "dop". If you start dating a South African girl, you'll start picking up on words you've never heard in your life before. If you're going to do something later, you'll start saying that you'll do it "just now" or "now now", and it could mean that you'll do it in 5 minutes time or in a month.

You'll also abbreviate greetings and instead of saying "how's it going?" you'll end up saying "howzit?" - it's terribly catchy once you get into the spring of things. At first you'll probably struggle to understand what your South African love interest is saying to you, but you'll get the hang of it. Eventually.


7. She'll Probably Swear Like a Sailor

South Africans tend to swear in one of their 11 official languages, and most of the time it isn't English. This is especially obvious in songs you might have heard from Die Antwoord or the movie District 9. Afrikaans tends to be a favourite because the words are very similar to Dutch and come out rather fierce and rough.

Of course, that doesn't mean that all South African ladies like to swear, some really detest it, but if she's mad, you can be sure that at least one swear word will cross those pretty lips of hers, even if it isn't a bad one. Mind you, you won't even know it because you don't speak one of the 11 official languages, except English of course.


6. ...But Will Still Be Super Polite

Even if your girl swears like a sailor, you can be sure that she uses her "pleases" and "thank yous" like a saint. Especially when it comes to her elders. Older people are held at a higher standard in South Africa and you'll probably hear your girl refer to older people by saying "uncle this" and "aunty that", and that's because we grow up with Afrikaans people that refer to their elders as "oom" and "tannie".

She will also be a massive hit with your parents because she will ask before she does anything that she might deem disrespectful in your parents' home (like leave the table before anyone's finished with their food), keep her swearing to herself and laugh at jokes even if they're only mildly amusing. We're cool like that.

5. She'll Probably Be a Carnivore

As I've stated before, "braaiing" is a favourite South African past-time, so if your girl loves her meat a little too much then you know where it came from. A favourite for Saffa girls is one big, juicy steak from their local Spur or Dros with a side of "slap" chips. This normally goes hand-in-hand with her love of spending lots of time with her family. So if you're visiting her family with her, expect lots of chatting, eating, laughing and more eating. Especially meat.

Of course you do get the odd vegetarian in South Africa, they still love to eat big portions of whatever is being served, because we just love our food.


4. ... And Able to Drink You Under the Table

Whether it's wine, beer, cider or spirits, South African love them some "dop". Or booze. Your girl will know what wine to have with which meat, she'll be able to tell you what type of spirit you're drinking with your cola and most importantly, she'll probably be able to drink way more than you and still keep her composure, and to keep your ego in check, she won't brag about it either.

Again, this doesn't count for all Saffa girls, but if you do come across a girl who likes to drink, she'll be quite good at it. One thing you will notice though, is that most Saffa girls stay away from beer because it's considered "dodgy" in South Africa when a girl drinks beer. Mainly because our beer is the type that will make you grow chest hair. No Bud Light for us, thanks.


3. She'll Probably Put Her Animals Before You

A South African girl who doesn't like animals, isn't a true South African. We were born and bred to love our little puppies and kittens like they are our children, so if you fall in love with a girl from South Africa, be prepared to love her "children" just as much. She probably has three little Yorkshire Terriers that keep her company along with a cat named "Fluffy" and they are her whole world.

In a country that celebrates wildlife, we learn to love our animals deeply and spoil them constantly - and no, we don't keep lions as pets despite popular belief (although that would be absolutely awesome), and it might be strange, but a lot of ladies in South Africa are against hunting, even if their fathers aren't.


2. Don't Ask Her To Say "Souf Efrican"

There are some people in South Africa who speak English fluently (the majority, really), but of course there will always be people who have a bit of an iffy accent, no matter where you go in the world, and South Africa is no exception. Some people struggle to say the "th" sound in "south", "mouth" or "those" and end up saying "f". Others struggle to say the "a" in "African" and end up saying "efrican".

Now, if your girl is one of the fluent English speakers, she will probably find it very offensive if you ask her to say "Souf Efrican". Try to refrain from asking her to say it like that, and if she does speak like that, you'd do well not to point it out.


1. Accept That She Won't Believe You Think She's Gorgeous

Perhaps South African girls should know that they're pretty, because the most famous South African girls are bombshells Charlize Theron and Victoria Secret model Candice Swannepoel, but we're brought up being modest and that looks aren't everything, so if you're complimenting your girl and she shrugs it off, don't take it personally.

Saffa girls appreciate a compliment, but feel terribly awkward accepting it. She will probably blush or roll her eyes, but you can be sure that she will be giggling about it throughout the day in her own mind.



Derek Robert on August 21, 2020:

I'm just bored, please how I'd get a south African girlfriend??.... Any assist???

Sheldon on July 28, 2020:

I am dating a South African woman and she is the cream of the crop. An amazing woman she is. I am very lucky.

Africa traditional healer spell caster Mama Nana from JOHANNESBURG on May 28, 2020:

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I tried so much to move on but it was hard I love my husband sometimes I could see him in my dreams wake up thinking he would come but nothing, I used to SMS him but no response calling him he never picked my calls and finally blocked all my numbers not even to support the kids. many times I tried to talk to his family and friends they tried their best but he had completely changed and he regarded everyone as a stranger kept a deaf ear on everyone who tried to talk to him. I resorted to sangomas and spell casters but not even at one time did I see a change. I started drinking alcohol because I couldn't handle the stress but as you all know once you are drunk you are out of stress it could be worse once the alcohol is out. I can't forget the day I came back home and our firstborn asked me where is Daddy I miss him a lot why he is no longer coming home I never gave a right answer I went in the bedroom started crying at this time. I thought a lot of bad things but again because I loved my kids I knew I had to be strong because it was my role to play as a mother.

I phoned one family friend she is such a darling to me and she gave me a number of Mama Nana +27672073600 she said she had helped her two years ago I had lost all my trust in everyone but she strengthened me and gave me the go-ahead to try Mama Nana +27672073600. I thought about it with all my heart and finally decided to contact Mama I made everything known to her and she said that we had a future with my husband and we are compatible but the lady had used something on my man which had diverted his feelings away from not only me but also from the whole family. I was so angry at this point and I asked how-how it was possible to get him back. mama assured me that I would get my happiness back in three days

Before I began the prayer with Mama Nana +27672073600 and sent her my info with that of my husband I was given the instructions of the prayers we did together over the phone and after the fast day my husband texted me saying hi it was not a big message but I was so happy for that small massage I never replied though and after 48 hours of the prayer my husband came home I was not home by that time I was by neighbors I heard the car hooting and rushed to see who was it. He asked me to sit in the car we talked he was so romantic and he asked my forgiveness since then our lives have been progressing both in relationships and finances. I have written my story to tell everyone who may be in tears that I was like that before. If you can contact Mama Nana +27672073600 you will get help. Thank you, mama,

jakey on May 18, 2020:

most accurate amusing article EVER!!!!!!!!!! thanks so much

I m mohammad shafi shikh on April 08, 2020:

Hi how are i my frien

Joseph on April 01, 2020:

Am from Uganda and would wish to hookup with a cute, light-skinned Xhosa girl. How do I achieve that? Am currently in my home country Uganda though. Any advise.

jeremy on November 30, 2019:

This is a toned-down version of a very similar article by, I think, the same author. That article seemed straight out of the apartheid era with its overt tones of superiority. An Afrikaans-speaking reader described it as magdag. I don't know what that means but it didn't seem complimentary. I think it roughly corresponded to bulls**t :p

Frankson Mangusuthu on November 19, 2019:

sour efricans ladies,can sometimes be rude when upset but trust me they are caring ,loving and protective to their boyfriends and they love sincerity and pure humility..... especially the twana girls

# frankson afegbua Mangusuthu @ Facebook

Olusoji on November 05, 2019:

I'm currently into a South African girl and i'm Nigerian, believe me so many things pointed out here i could see it in my lady.. SA girls are just sweet! But hope not to see the crazyass side!!!

travis malindi mlea on July 08, 2019:

yes, what is on the above is very true. i am actually dating one of them. They are totally different from other african girls but it is now depends on your quality that you choose and different language that you use. Be wise when you chose the girl that you really want because you will regret one day and do not blame anyone. For me it is advantage that i'm vhenda guy

Belinda on June 29, 2019:

This is so true it's scary!!

Norman Cwinyaai on June 16, 2019:

I am Ugandan, visited South Africa (Cape Town) once. I think some of the descriptions tend to generalize meaning they don't bring out specific realities on personalities.Anyways thanks for the insights.

Randall on June 02, 2019:

I'm dating a South African girl and read this blog because of the opening paragraph: "there's something really unique about the ladies in South Africa, and if you happen to find yourself infatuated with one, you can count yourself lucky."

I can tell you from experience, South African girls are fantastic!!!

They are polite but not stuffy or repressed, feminine but not passive, fun, intelligent and beautiful. They don't seek to 'win' in relationships but rather to partner. I have traveled a lot around the globe and not found better. (BTW, can't say the same for South African men).

Frenchie on March 07, 2019:

I'd rather stay away from most South African girls (colour blind) for I can relate to most negative comments. Now South Africa is a very cosmopolitan country and one could easily bump into some foreign (much nicer) girl. An admin (Afrikaans) lady at work (close to being able to retire) told me the other day she does not understand why girls (maybe was she talking about Afrikaans girls) nowadays try to be the boss of the relationship. Few days later she also told me that there are so many more girls than guys in the country. In other words, if you're willing to date an SA girl, don't spend (waste?) so much effort if you soon realise she's not willing to put in some effort although showing interest.

Gilbert on March 06, 2019:

So sad you, I am south african and i have a south african wife that i would not swop for any other women on this planet, i work in Italy and some other parts of Europe and the women i have encountered are well um yes actually yes no comment.

Kate on February 15, 2019:

I have worked with South African women and had to deal with them as they were my customers. I think they expect the very best and will drive you crazy with their demands. Very class conscious and want to be higher up the ranks than others so that they can look down their noses at others. Will fire you for trivial reasons too, without being fair. If I had a son I would say that they are very pretty women but they expect too much of others. I will not work for another South African again as now have had 2 bad experiences with them - one male and one female South African as a boss.

Sphile Ntobela on January 12, 2019:

This article is About Afrikaans girls. Not whole of souf efricans

George on December 20, 2018:

Married a 28yo white woman from Transvaal 1986; attractive, spoiled, entitled & smart nightmare. 16 months before separation. Probably a one off sort of nightmare.

james gray on November 23, 2018:


Mandy on May 07, 2018:

@ Kevin barlow, I don't know who you dated in SA that you this opinion of classifying all SA women as "Stuck Up" and "gold diggers" I am very independent, Don't need a man for shit! I work hard & do it with a smile on my face! So I suggest you rather keep your KAK comments and opinions to yourself! You will never meet any girl in another country that have quality like ours!

Jimmy Jam on April 08, 2018:

Great article. Informed! Thanks

Lozzy on March 30, 2018:

I’m a Saffa girl and the reason we are the way we are is because we not push overs ✌️

Sipho on February 22, 2018:

This article is just about dating an Afrikaans girl.

Jorge on February 19, 2018:

I'm looking for a girlfriend im 31 years old from Mozambique I'm self employed

paul on January 18, 2018:


I fell in love straight away,we r soul mates,and Angel is coming here to live in the U.K.

shame S.A is such a Dangerous SHITHOLE.

Thesele Setsabi on December 22, 2017:

Guys, this info applies for white South African girls. Black South African girls are cheeky and they expect you to do everything for them and they are spoilt brats. They use way too much make-up and overdo with cosmetic products. HIV and AIDS is very common among black people in South Africa and at least one in every twelve black South Africans that you meet have HIV. Coloured (Black-White) South Africans are violent and racist. They are a very hostile race in South Africa. Indian South Africans are pretty laid back and relaxed, easy to talk to and really cool. If you marry one, expect to eat chilli food at least once a week. I know all of this because I live in central South Africa

James on December 09, 2017:

Dated two, both mental. Second put me in hospital with stress related irregular heartbeat. Steer clear!

fred on August 14, 2017:

They are also materialistic.They like Beemers and mercs

zak on August 09, 2017:

nailed it. wish me luck :) lol

Kevin barlow on August 09, 2017:

That!s all lie!s the SA girls play to many mind games and are just gold diggers and also very stuck up.!

They are lazy and are way to spoil t . They expect you to do very thing for them .But the Afrikaans girls Now that is a class on it!s own. way much better and are by far more friendlier. I think men put women way too much on a pedestal

I have been over seas many time!s and i can tell the girls way out class the SA girl!s Except the Afrikaans!s women.

That!s my two cent!s worth.!

Marco on August 08, 2017:

The article should rather be entitled "12 Things You Need to Know Before Dating an Afrikaans Girl".

Izanne on August 06, 2017:

Enjoyed the article (-; and we love walking bare feet!

Reality on August 06, 2017:

Just reading the comments, obviously not every trade would be covered however many of them are accurate, not in order nor relevant to one type of person. Funny that you would want to be treated like a princess but you drink like a fish, swear like a sailor, tear meat of a bone like Hagar, speak sporting bigger than a man yet you are the little princess kind at heart all parents love to be presented with. Mmmmm from experience they become mental when you don't do as they say! Society has changed to equal rights, woman become the new man and when trouble nears the lady who is now the boss becomes the innocent victim.

Stafford on August 05, 2017:

Most whine a lot.

Are you going to rugby again.

Not all but most.

Perry on August 05, 2017:

South African ladies sound exciting.

Paula on August 05, 2017:

Would be nice of the pictures featured weren't only of black and white girls. The rainbow isn't black and white, is it? Also, numbers 4, 5 and 7 mostly apply to afrikaner girls.

Bello Zubairu on June 28, 2017:

My visit has been today

Fully SA boeremeise here on May 14, 2017:

Think it's almost 100%

Confused... on April 22, 2017:

She's white?

bleh on January 15, 2017:

Coming from a South African girl, point 2 is a little bit ridiculous and the article leans far more towards the Afrikaans culture, but besides that, it's funny and mostly accurate.

Dennis on December 30, 2016:

So good.

Howard Russell on October 11, 2016:

Very usefully article. I just started dating a South African girl and wanted to know what to expect.

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