10 Things You Chicks Should Really Understand about Us Guys

Pssst . . . A Little Secret

When you get together with your girlfriends over a scone and a cup of coffee, what do you talk about? The guys in your life, of course. More to the point, the "what the heck is he doing?" things. The "I have no clue where that came from" things. The "he's a guy and guys just aren't relational" stuff. Well, get a clue, gals. Instead of asking your girlfriends for advice, why not turn to what a guy has to say?

Guys have feelings too
Guys have feelings too

Myth 1: Guys Don't Have Feelings

I call foul on this myth right away. It seems that decades of movies with John Waynes and Jason Stathams have convinced women that guys don't have feelings. We do. In fact, we look to the women in our lives for validation, love, cuddling, and support. The difference is, we're not particularly adept at telling you this. And we don't want anything to get back to our guy friends. But a quick tip: Guys are, by and large, straightforward. We resent anything that feels like emotional manipulation. This means if we need some emotional support, make us feel safe and we'll ask for it. But don't try to drag out an emotional response. If you "just know" something is wrong with us, you're probably reading too much into it.


Myth 2: Guys Never Want to Talk About Their Feelings

Well, that depends upon your definition of "talk." Ever seen how two guys share their hurts and disappointments? Bet you never did, because it happened so fast you missed it. Friend 1: "Hey man, my boss chewed me out me this week, my girlfriend is all hormonal about something I don't know what, and I'm late with the rent." Friend 2: "Ah, man. That sucks. That really sucks. I'm super sorry." Friend 1: "But it's all right. You know?" Friend 2: "Yeah, just hang in there, buddy." Friend 1: "Yeah." Maybe they shake hands or hug a real man hug. Friend 2: "So, the guys are getting together tonight for the game and some pizza. Wanna come?" Takeaway lesson: A guy will only share his troubles with someone he really trusts. Also, he'll do it in a way that doesn't make him look wimpy or lose face. Your guy will "talk" about his feelings with you. Just don't expect a Shakespearean monologue. At the same time, listen to him when he does talk like this. Brush him off a couple times, and he's not going to open up anymore.

You dress like this, you get this kind of man.
You dress like this, you get this kind of man.

Myth 3: Guys Are Just in it for the Sex

Wow, another ugly one. And it's so unfair to men. First off, some men are real skanks, and you want to stay away from them. But truly, not all men are like that. Most men are looking for a fulfilling relationship with a wonderful woman, but they just don't know how to get there. When guys hang out, guess who the hero is? "Man, how did you get such a great wife? How do you keep her happy?" If you want to find a man who's about the relationship instead of the sex, slooooow things down. Demand commitment. Dress moderately. Imagine for a moment what it would be like to be a microwave instead of a Crock Pot, with your desire dangling outside of you. Now imagine that the bra you wear or the shape of your pants pushed the desire big time. Now you have an idea of what makes men do what they do. In other words, you get what you pay for. If a man doesn't feel pressured to have sex with you after the third date, you might be surprised to find what a gentleman he can be. The trouble is, our culture has convinced everyone that sex is way, way more important to a relationship than it is. Be open with a man about why you're attracted to him, so he doesn't feel the need to seduce you.

This.  Does.  Not.  Work.
This. Does. Not. Work.

Myth 4: Guys Don't Try to Understand Us

Correction: You don't try to tell us. I tell you, when guys hang out, the single most common topic of discussion is "Hey, anyone here tell me why my girlfriend/wife did this or that?" And all the guys chip in. Truth be told, we're not good at sniffing out meanings in stuff. If you want us to understand something . . . well, tell us. "I'm mad at you because I found out you spent the gas money on World of Warcraft IV" is a lot more effective than throwing a pout fit for three days and saying "You're always spending money we don't have!" Be specific. We guys are episodic in nature. We don't do longterm checklists. If you pull away and complain about nonrelated things, we won't be spurred on to dig deeper and find out where we erred - we'll be confused, nonplussed, and ultimately, angry.

What makes you so sure your desires are more important than his career?
What makes you so sure your desires are more important than his career?

Myth 5: He's More Interested in Work Than Me

Once again, you need to understand a man's reasoning. Much ink has been spilled over a man's need to feel affirmed by his job and career, so I'm not going to add to that. Suffice it to say, that's true. What is also true is that a man has a hard time understanding you when you say that a relationship is more important than a career. Too many self-righteous women ask their men, "Why is this so much more important to you?" To which the men are thinking inside, "Why not?" Unless you have a darned good answer to that question, don't ask it. You just push your man toward making the determination that the career is, in fact, more important. Too many women assume that their position is morally superior. Trust me, that's a values judgment, and you're liable to lose. A man puts a lot of work into building a career, and he feels entitled to some payback. When you met this man, you knew he was a guy with a lot of goals, ambition, and drive. Learn to celebrate and affirm that - not squelch it.

See how much he wants to run away from this clingy, possessive woman?
See how much he wants to run away from this clingy, possessive woman? | Source

Myth 6: Guys Are Afraid of Commitment

Baloney. Guys are afraid of entrapment. You see, most guys have a slightly different definition of commitment than you do. They need a lot more space. Like a guy told me the other day, "Oh, I was committed to her. I just didn't want to go out with her every single night." Commitment doesn't mean the guy cuts all his friends out of his life, trots dutifully after you to the Laundromat, and stops calling his mom every now and then. Commitment doesn't mean that from now on, you control every step and decision of his life. You try to do that, he won't think it's committing. He'll think it's controlling, and he left Mommy's house for that very reason. To a guy, commitment is very simple: I choose you over every other girl in the world. Isn't that flattering enough to trust him with the other details?

Don't overthink it.
Don't overthink it.

Myth 7: He Thinks I'm Fat

This ties right back in with the insecurities and misconceptions that lots of women have about men and sex. Does your guy like you to dress sexy, be hot, and wear nice clothes? Sure. But he understands that not every woman looks like a supermodel. Heck, as tech-savvy as he is, he knows how to Photoshop you to look like Megan Fox anyway. If he's with you, then you are his queen. Relax and ignore the occasional pimple, extra pound, or whatever. When he says, "Uh . . . sure. Looks great," it's because it does. To him.

Don't come at us like that!
Don't come at us like that!

Myth 8: Guys Are Bad Listeners

This one is right up there with the old myth that all girls are good listeners. Guys are people, too. Sometimes we're tired, or stressed, or just wanting to think about something else. We don't mean to brush you off. Remember, guys usually speak whatever is on their heart quickly and succinctly. If you want to keep our attention, learn to speak our language. Break it up into bullet points. Don't repeat the same complaints every day. We heard you the first time. Don't always wait for a response, either. We might need time to think about it.

How many men?  Count them!  Looks like the school principal and one unlucky man who got dragged there by his wife.  He won't be back.
How many men? Count them! Looks like the school principal and one unlucky man who got dragged there by his wife. He won't be back.

Myth 9: My Guy Doesn't Love Me If He Doesn't Love the Stuff I Do

"When we first met, he just loved to do my thing with me, but now he just makes excuses!" Well, duh. As I mentioned before, men are episodic in nature. We like to do something, finish it, and move onto the next thing. We're not good with commitments that demand we be there, every Friday, at 4:30 p.m. So he joined drama club to be with you? Great! After a play or two, he'll be itching to move on to something else. It doesn't mean he has stopped loving you, it just means you need to adapt and join him on his next big quest. Look around. Why are church ministries, PTAs, social groups, 4-H, and school boards mostly run by women? Because women take comfort in continuity and busyness. Guys are 100% different. Guys get restive when there's no end date in sight. And what about goals? A guy wants to be part of a thing that is going somewhere. A new color scheme for the cafeteria is not "somewhere."

Seen this look before?  He's worried, a bit nervous, and doesn't have a clue how to fix it.  Jeez!  "We're on vacation, honey!"
Seen this look before? He's worried, a bit nervous, and doesn't have a clue how to fix it. Jeez! "We're on vacation, honey!"

Myth 10: He Doesn't Care When I Cry

Oh, tsk, tsk. First off, he does care. A lot. But most guys just don't have the emotional tools in their toolbox to fix this problem. Remember the old saw? "Girls don't want you to put out the fire - they just want you to stand in the fire with them and burn." The truth is, most guys don't know what you want when you cry. So why not tell them? "Look, I am crying because my best friend from high school just left a nasty message on my phone. So please, can you hold me for twenty minutes and then we'll go get dinner at the seaside restaurant?" Wow. You've given him a way to fix this mess.

Comments 60 comments

Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 5 years ago from Upstate New York

Pretty well written for a facile male chauvinist pig.

Rossimobis profile image

Rossimobis 5 years ago from Biafra

This is educative and awesome.

casshd profile image

casshd 5 years ago from Hemel Hempstead, UK

I agree that men are very simple creatures and need things spelt out for them!

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

doitrightnow....I would just like to say that my 4 sons raised me extremely well. Every day with them was another session of Male Persuasion 101. I was forced into one inservice after another, had nightly homework up the WAZOO (they also taught me that phrase) and you would not believe the constant bombardment of Pop Quizes. I thought I'd never finish my education.....I mean, 40 years....jeesh! Ah...but finally I earned my degree. As for your fantastic hub, doitrightnow, if only it was in Test form, I could've ACED the damned thing! "Up" awesome & funny. Seriously great writing.

Lady Quill profile image

Lady Quill 4 years ago

You know, as a woman, I may not like all of your answers but I 'get them' because they explain my husband quite well. Instead of trying to make 'them' more like 'us', we should try to find that middle ground - the ground we walked on when we first got together. Funny how that space between widens as the years go by. Thanks for a great hub with great insight to the male psyche.

Kimberlie-Ann profile image

Kimberlie-Ann 4 years ago

Oh, boy! Another great write! The honesty you put into this is amazing! Some females really don't understand guys. You are correct about each of you're myths and you made it extremely easy to understand and enjoy. You also didn't get too offensive towards us. ( Some people are offended by the truth) I am happy to say I look forward to reading many more of you're articles to come. Thanks again for the insightful look into a mans mind and also, for shedding light for the females who think males are cold, thoughts, insensitive and heartless individuals!

Once again, Great Write!

savvydating profile image

savvydating 4 years ago

You have written an excellent hub! I generally write on behalf of women, yet I also know beyond a doubt that women make many erroneous assumptions about men and often have unrealistic expectations from their mates and dates. It has been my personal experience that men absolutely want commitment and love. Men simply have a different way of getting from here to there. You have hit the nail on the head! Great job.

doitrightnow profile image

doitrightnow 3 years ago from San Juan, PR Author

Thanks so much, savvydating! Appreciate the input.

joyoflingerie blog 3 years ago

I just saw your post, very good. It does explain alot of things.

oscar 3 years ago


What the hell is wrong with you ladies

quietwriter profile image

quietwriter 3 years ago

It's funny to think about how confused females and males are when it comes to understanding each other...

Jenny 3 years ago

Oh my God...

Cloudlee profile image

Cloudlee 2 years ago from Vietnam

Haha, come on guys! You still have more things than wired brains

MacGyver 2 years ago

Yep that sounds about right.

Another thing that you should have added to the "Guys are just in it for the sex" thing is some guys have enough restraint to go abstinent until married. Like me.

___And to Paradise7:

There is nothing Chauvinistic about this article. There is no belittling of women here so you are blowing things out of proportion. It talks about how men REALLY work. If you truly call this a Chauvinistic article, you are obviously a Feminazi and need to turn lesbian and leave us men alone.

1)This is an example of Chauvinism: Males are better than women, ho bunny.

2)This is an example of a MAN: Men and women are social people who look for love and feeling in their significant others. I as a man think equality is important, and it's easy for a woman to agree.

There are two things right there.

This article fits the second thing because it is informative and gives the reader valid information. This article DOESN'T fit the first one because the first one is an insult and there are NO insults in this article. So grow up!

sneha 2 years ago

Ya very well written mahn except the last point...I mean wen girls are crying they are Sae and not in a condition to explain their problem..a girl wen she cries doesn't expects u to solve the problem but to comfort her and den make an atmosphere so that she l throw her heart out

carrie Lee Night profile image

carrie Lee Night 2 years ago from Northeast United States

Interesting hub :) The bottom line is communcation is the key. Have a great week.

rissann 2 years ago

I liked this article a lot. Things that I have definitely come to learn about men just in the past year. It is actually refreshing and so much easier and more relaxing if you understand these things about how men work. Women like to make thing a lot more complicated then they really are. That being said I did not agree with everything in myth #3. I do agree that men are not in it just for the sex but saying that a women has to dress moderately in order to win over a guy who isn't just in it for the sex is a bit judgmental. A women can dress however she feels comfortable. Every situation and relationship is different. If I want to wear a miniskirt and my guy likes that miniskirt it doesn't mean a relationship won't happen. Be who you are! Also sex is extremely important to relationships. It is sex and money problems that end most relationships. So while society may have a warped way of advertising that sex is very important, sex is very important. Without it you don't have a true intimate connected relationship.

a dude 2 years ago

yep pretty much

Alissaann26 profile image

Alissaann26 2 years ago

Really enjoyed! Keep it up

LailaK profile image

LailaK 2 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Awesome hub! I enjoyed reading it :D

Horia Pop profile image

Horia Pop 2 years ago from Romania

A funny and useful article. I believe the key is mutual respect, understanding that we are wired differently, and trying to be more considerate towards each other's needs and interests.

That Girl. 2 years ago

Still don't understand. Men are not as stupid as they act, I'm sure. Like #10 for instance, If I am crying, why should I have to tell you to hold me for 20 minutes then take me to dinner? I don't care what I'm crying over, that would probably make it better, and it's obvious so why not just do it on your own.

nikita 2 years ago

Whoever wrote this I thank you so much, after reading your article I realized I didn't give him enough space. I tried yes to be close to his friends but then I expected him to know exactly what I meant by saying things like I'm so confused and not explaining, or pulling away from his hugs and saying just because. And also I always expected him to do something every few days. But I was so scared to lose him and I lost him anyway. And forced him to break up with me because I thought he was unhappy hut I guess he wasn't, I guess because I was so upset with my family at the time I thought he had to be upset with something to. Had did I give him up. Is there anyway I can get him back. He helped me with so much and was always there, and brought me put of depression by being there. Can you help

joe 2 years ago

Im a guy and this is pretty spot on. And yes we are simple but complex at the same time which would make us more complex. I think it boils down to communication which requires listening and selflessness on both ends.I had a female friend tell me a bold face lie one time that she had told me something when i know for a fact she didn't. I tried to call her on it and she told me oh you're such a guy yes i did tell you. BULLSHIT! This was a prime example of a woman using the guy stereotype to her lying advantage. It made me furious.

Molly 2 years ago

I believe men know WHY women are upset-we are verbal creatures and when we are upset it is coming out of our mouths in full detail (This article should give women credit for being adults-not little girls who throw temper tantrums). What I believe men don't understand is why its a VALID reason to be upset... and it makes men look dense when they don't get it. If they don't get it.

don Fefinho 2 years ago

@That Girl

So, when you cry, you want someone to jump and do a bunch of things out of thin air like a slave, all the while reading your mind and hitting it with 100% to find out your exact problem, since you are incapable to meaningfully articulate it like an adult.

You know what other group of people do that beside women? Babies below 3.

Shirlin Ros Seviar 2 years ago

Dude, this is really a good content. Now I understand what my guy seeks actually. Most of what you wrote, is true and it happens in my life with my guy. Thanks a lot for making me to understand my guy better. All I ever want is for him to be true and loyal. And I'll do anything it takes to keep him with me.

PMARTIN 2 years ago

I wish, wish WISH, this article was in the Cosmopolitan magazine!! I find it interesting regarding men and their careers over relationship. Have you talked to a career woman!!?? they boldly admit nothing is more important than her career. It appears that many faults women find in men...THEY DO THEMSELVES! She doesn't you to keep your friends but all her lifes decisions come from her friends...or Oprah. As for the women who posted negatively here, probably got dumped for being too controlling. Finally..amazing today's woman dont know these things but grandma did. She let hubby go tinker in the garage all day because it relaxed him, gave him his "thinking time". She did not whine and pout for a week but spoke directly--atleast the elderly I grew up with didn't. Girls go talk to the old timers and get an education.

Akshta 2 years ago

Hey great was very well written n I enjoyed readin it.

@PMARTIN....... Maybe u should find an article that would help u understand women better!

PMARTIN 2 years ago

But I do understand women..all my close friends are women (smiley face)

Project sigma 2 years ago

Ok first off guys aren't stupid and girls aren't babys(see comments below) u guys are judging eachother right off the bat and not looking at the real problem which is a lack of communication Btwn men and women and vice versa but when u just judge off of appearances you show a certain lack of knowledge in the area and you look stupid

PMARTIN 2 years ago

Ok..PS is right. Akshta says "read an article" to learn but I say actual interaction with people (friends) to learn.

Akshta 2 years ago

I agree wid Project Sigma....

N PMartin readin was a suggestion, interaction is great.... U don't have to follow my advice to d T!!

Project sigma 2 years ago

I think you can learn from both probably more from actual interaction but both have benefits

Blah 2 years ago

So basically you're saying that women should just sit quietly on the side and do the cooking and cleaning? Sexist.

Project sigma 2 years ago

Blah where in th world did you get that idea?

Project sigma 2 years ago

What I'm saying is husbands should treat their wives with love and Understanding and wives should submit to their husbands( and b4 you go all crazy over that let me explain) wives should be willing to listen to their husbands and take what he says and really think about it and it's ok to disagree but if your married your not independent (men or women) and too much of the time in marriages one person tries to act separately from their spouse and it causes strife

Ally Lewis profile image

Ally Lewis 2 years ago from Pittsburgh, PA

Just because some of you are offended by the truth doesn't make it any less truthful. Thank you for the refreshing honestly about how a guy REALLY works!

denn 2 years ago

Ahahah womens are not normal when u start loving them and they push u way and mans fold as always

Project sigma 2 years ago

No one is normal

precious 2 years ago

I'm dating a boy but do not know if he loves me the why I love him and at the same time I have a crush

Konnect Life 2 years ago

Of course a lot of females think the way the article is describing since these are the types of men most women go for. Anyone who does the opposite of most of the things listed above doesn't stand a chance. Simple Fact (Even Psychologically Proven by Leading Experts, Psychologists and Dating Gurus and Pick Up Artists) is This: Nice Guys Finish Last.

If you're a man reading this article and thinking "I don't do those things, I'm a good guy" then unfortunately you fall into the nice guy category and I can guarantee that you are also most likely single OR with a woman that's seeing a man who knows how to be the type of bad boy that women really want behind your back (or maybe you've managed to find a woman who was willing to just settle for the boring nice guy because they couldn't get the type of man they wanted, or they have some strong strict religious or cultural beliefs that help them justify their reasons for being with a good guy like you despite the fact that they are secretly denying the fact that they would really be with someone else if they could).

People say that confidence is all you really need, but that belief was debunked after I overcame social anxiety, learned how to act normal and became good with social skills and started having success with dating. A lot of people thought I was fearless and over-confident, yet I was still rejected for anything more than friends - because I was still coming across as too nice and still hadn't perfected my bad boy skills.

I'll admit - I still have more to work on when it comes to shedding my nice guy personality, and if you have any "just be yourself" or "not every woman wants a bad boy" crap to tell me, don't even bother saying it because I've heard it all already and I am someone that now judges things by seeing REAL LIFE PROOF as oppose to listening to people posting or saying what they wish to believe. I've never met a woman who likes a nice guy (at least not in America), but I've only met a few who admitted up front that they weren't looking for a nice guy while others like to claim that's what they want but continue to go for the opposite...

Yes, for the experts out there reading this thinking "doesn't he know that there is a psychological explanation behind why women aren't attracted to bad boys and always go for the people they complain about?" I already know this. But it still sucks. It's even worse, mainly for the guys who COME ACROSS as the nice guy because we get turned down based on an assumption of being the boring nice guy just because we come across as polite, intellectual and respectful at first.

Anyway, I'm still learning and changing and noticing how much my dating success skyrockets the more I shift away from the nice guy persona towards the bad boy personality. Took a few decades, but I'm finally getting things right, and have even finally gotten into a relationship! Yes, I've slipped up a few times and started being too nice by showing too much interest and being too available and spending too much time with her and lost her interest a few times, but I got myself back into check, started doing what I was supposed to do, and BAM! We got back together.

It is 100% true when Coach Corey Wayne says that it's been proven that women are more attracted to men whose feelings about her are unclear. Notice almost everywhere you go, you will see women complaining about the men they want or are currently with or the type of guys they continuously choose to date, or them complaining about how a guy who was too available or "creepy" or whatever label is given to the good guys who may not have the best social or dating skills wont leave them alone, but you rarely, if ever, see women talking about how happy they are with a nice guy who is good and treats them right.

Anyway, 10 things chicks should really understand about guys... odds are that if a chick is seeing you as someone who doesn't do any of those ten things, then you are not being seen as more than just a friend to that chick. Being a nice guy doesn't spark attraction (which is where sexual tension and feelings of intimacy and romantic relationships lie), but it does create AFFECTION, and AFFECTION = FRIENDSHIP.......

Oh, and I should add - ifg you're meeting women who claim that they "don't have time" for a relationship - because they Have to "focus on a career," or anything like that, that simply means THEY AREN'T INTERESTED IN YOU. EVERYONE who is genuinely interested in anyone or anything WILL ALWAYS make time for it AND make irrational excuses to support their decision to do so. Nice guys may hear the "career" talk almost as much as they hear the "I need some space / time" or "lets just be friends" or "I'm not looking for anything serious right now" speech a lot. Meanwhile, the bad boys mysteriously always seem to catch (and sometimes even win) them during their free time, lol

PMARTIN 2 years ago

I agree with K Life except I dont think you have to change from the "nice guy" personality to a bad guy personality. Other friends and blood relations are important--dont chase them away for a woman that doesn't know what she wants. I say be a nice guy but smart about it. Be firm and principled about life goals and have a mindset that if she doesn't like it...bye, dont be desperate. Success is attractive. Women are drawn to money and power like ants to sugar. And you can still be nice--BUT smart. If you start (as a nice guy) groveling so she will accept you, you will finish last. I know its not good to use TV as a life example but I always liked how the leading men (Grant, Gable etc) in the old movies were. They were "nice guys" but confident, firm, woman smart--and charmed the daylights out of women.

WOWOW 2 years ago

I agree with everything your saying. BRILLIANT SIR

Project sigma 2 years ago

I disagree with k I think that yes while some girls are a attracted to bad guys I think in the end the good guys are winning bc the good guys are the ones getting married.

Pulia Pens 24 months ago from Edinburgh

Seriously guys..!

Women want respectful caring and equal relationships.. It's not rocket sience. Treat us as we treat you, if you cry, are upset stressed whatever and your partner..(yes dare I say partner, not object to control, dominate even win over) treats you with compassion and understanding DO the same! Its not about what women should accept and men should do. It's about give and take and if it's to much hassle or your to insecure in yourself to have an adult equal relationship you shouldn't be in one. And that goes for women just as much as men.

Reading these posts about women wanting bad men over good is just nonesene. Bad men are weak! Good men are strong!

howtobeabetteryou 23 months ago from harrisburg pa

Very interesting its good to get insight from a guys perspective

Carol Houle profile image

Carol Houle 22 months ago from Montreal

All men start out good and strong. And, just for the record, the actor's name (at the top) is Jason STATHAM. Glad he's in the John Wayne category :~)

doitrightnow profile image

doitrightnow 22 months ago from San Juan, PR Author

@Carol Houle - Thanks so much! Fixed. 18 months ago

Supermodels have their bad days too. They are human and have same issues as other women. There are beautiful women everywhere and they are not supermodels. Just because a woman isn't a model doesnt mean she cant be beautiful.

Xxx 16 months ago

What if i ask him just to hug me and he does not do it? It is not that simple and obvious as shown in article

GreenEyes1607 profile image

GreenEyes1607 15 months ago from Illinois

I found this interesting! I guess men are really simple creatures. Slow at times, but simple. It's all about spelling it out for them and letting them know what you want.

intimateasking profile image

intimateasking 8 months ago

Great article, the only thing I would add is to this is women just need to speak and stop hinting

coconut 6 months ago

lol, that's cool

Jfk 4 months ago

This 'article' was 99.7% untrue and close minded.

Idk 3 months ago

Both sides had some pretty good arguments. Whats surprising though is that we all experience the same problems

sandy 2 months ago

Please do mention "not all men" and not every single one fit one man. Each man is different and no woman should stop looking just cause they dont agree with them.

Human 5 weeks ago

I don't understand why things may seem so "complicated". Glad I'm not that confused as some, but just curious to know the article. Guys actually sound a lot like me, so...this is good news - and I'm not even lesbian, so slutty guys can throw that myth out the window.

Genesis 5 weeks ago

Everyone is different, so this might not be accurate for everyone, but I think that communication is very important. As a woman, I would like to point out that nice guys are extremely attractive. The most important thing to attract a girl is to have confidence in yourself, in your strengths. Of course, vulnerability is very important too, but in the beginning, confidence is important. The problem with most "nice guys" is that they are sooo insecure, that it is hard to respect them because that usually don't even respect themselves. If you, as a guy, just be yourself, you have a better chance of getting into a relationship with the right girl for you, because if you play the "bad boy" part, in the long run you are just going to get into a relationship that you will hate. And for the girls, seriously, guys are not a mystery. We create a fictional idea of what they are really thinking when we should just ask them. I think what's important to remember is that there are people of both sexes that do things the wrong way and they have become the stereotype, but not everyone is the same.

Caye 11 days ago

Thanks for this. Made me realize a thing or two about my own man.

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