10 Things Our Dads Told Us as Boys
Ladies, us men have learned everything from our dads growing up. We have learned good things as well as bad things. For the men who didn't have dads, they had to learn how to be men from the school-of-hard-knocks. Whether or not we have had fathers, we were taught several important things from grown men on how to be men as well as how to capture your attention. Here are 10 things that our dads told us when we were little boys that you weren't supposed to hear!
1. Difference Between a Man and a Boy
As boys, our dads set out to train us into adult men and one of the ways he did it was by telling us the difference between what a boy does and what a man does. Every guy has a different angle on this, but the underlying principle is: "a boy does what he wants to do, but a man does what he HAS to do." What does that mean? It means that a man takes care of his responsibilities while a boy does whatever he wants. Whether it's holding a job, raising a family, loving his woman, or something as simple as listening, these are things that men do. You can very well easily run into 15 year old men and 30 year old boys too! The reason why that happens is simple: the 30 year old does whatever he wants and feels entitled to it. Not a manly trait!
2. Tell Her How You Feel
This leads into the age old question from women as to why guys can't express themselves or feel like they have to hide their feelings. There is a reason why our dads told us to tell a girl we liked her and it's because he had trouble doing it himself. Our dads remember when they were boys and how they were too scared to approach a girl they liked and they missed a wonderful opportunity. When he sees his son doing the same thing, he's thinking "I really don't want my son to miss this boat like I did!" So ladies, you should applaud that weird boy in your class who confessed his true love to you. That is HARD for guy to do at any age. Additionally, in telling you he likes you, that weird boy had one thing that the school jock, or the bad boy, didn't have: GUTS.
3. Be Mysterious
Paradoxically, ladies, this is probably the biggest advice we got when it comes to relating to you all. If you ever wondered why your man seems aloof or seems to be holding secrets, it's not always because he doesn't like you (or is cheating on you). It's because we were told to be mysterious. That's it! Now, you may say that this contradicts point #2, and it does! To an extent. You see, part of "man training 101" is to not show your hand right up front. We were told to keep things to ourselves a little so that the woman stays guessing. And as the record has shown, women HATE guessing, yet they find it appealing and it causes them to chase after us EVEN MORE. This is part of that "game" that we were told to have. It simply goes like this: "as long as you are mysterious and don't give her too much, she will always chase you!" Don't believe me? Incredulous? Ask Batman.
4. Be A Little Deceptive
Does this mean lie and cheat and steal? Of course not! But it coincides with point #3 about not showing your hand. "you have to deceive these women a little bit, son." The way men deceive women properly is by "throwing her off" their scent. When she starts predicting what our next move will be, our dads told us to do something TOTALLY different instead. Being deceptive also means telling her what she wants to hear so that we can get something in return. That trade off often works and sometimes it's not abusive. Disclaimer: men who use this properly will NEVER deceive a woman for his own selfish inhibitions. Instead, he will just "play" her a little bit, which keeps her guessing, thus the mystery stays alive, and she continues chasing after him, just like he wants. Sorry ladies, you've been duped...in a good way!
5. Look People In The Eye
Confidence levels are on display when the man can, or cannot, look another man in the eyes. There is a saying that goes: "you can tell allot about a man's confidence by looking him in the eye while speaking." In addition, another saying goes: "A man who cannot look me in the eye has something to hide from me." The first test of this confidence level comes from our dads when he challenges us to look him in the eye when he talks to us. If we can do this when he is happy, sad, or mad, we learn the confidence that it takes to get good jobs, buying a car without getting hoodwinked, and dating women. So ladies, if you're on a date and he hasn't looked at you once while talking (or seldom does), it's because he is nervous or unsure of himself, and he may never admit it.
6. Play Through The Hurt
In order to navigate through the hazards of life, "man training 101" requires us to learn how to keep going and push through. Playing through the hurt is crucial for men because we are bombarded daily: our jobs, other men, sickness, physical pain, and our dating lives. This advice is not to suggest that we are not allowed to have feelings or cry; rather, it imposes on us to have will power that is stronger than our external circumstances. If we as men let the world implode on us, we allow the world to validate us. We must defend ourselves and we must validate ourselves when no one else does. On the extreme side, this turns men into brutes, but in the middle rests a man who is at peace with himself and with the world he lives in.
7. Upgrade Yourself
Upgrading self simply means to improve a certain area in your life. Dads work hard to help their sons work through their deficiencies while also ensuring they do not inherit any of their own. One of the ways our dads help to do this is by telling us to remember the little things in life: chewing with the mouth closed, bathing, wearing neat clothes, cleaning the room, etc. Computers cannot operate nor protect your information unless you install basic software on it. Then, they can UPGRADE to more advanced software, meaning that they can now add to what is already there and make it better. The same thing goes for life; if a man cannot chew with his mouth closed as an adult, he will have very few friends and very dirty clothes.
8. Don't Ever Be Late
Punctuality is a trait our dads taught us boys by giving us chores and saying it has to be completed at a certain time. If we didn't do it, we were grounded, denied privilege to use the car, or told to turn our favorite cartoons off. When he calls us outside to help him in the yard, that was an immediate request. This is why men develop a better sense of time than women as a whole. Part of "main training 101" is to learn how to hold a job. if we learn how to finish chores and homework on-time, we inherently learn to never be late for work. Our bosses will not give second chances like our dads did, and that leads to no paycheck. No paycheck means that SportsCenter will be cut off until we pay the bill. Only this time, daddy cannot turn it back on now.
9. Help Your Mother/Sister
A good dad, and husband, will tell his son to help, listen and obey his mother. Ladies, if you're a mother and your son decided to help you with the dishes instead of playing video games, it is because his dad told something like "son, there is nothing silly or less manly than helping your mother." If you have a brother and you remember when he played dolls with you at some brief (and I mean brief) point in your life, it is because your dad told him "son, play with your sister. it's not going to hurt you." How men treat their female family members will be how they treat other women in life. There is EVERYTHING manly about having a soft/playful side for the women in our lives.
10. GET OUT
Believe it or not, some of our dads told us this too! Granted, it hurt like hell when he said that because, to us, it was the ultimate form of rejection. However, the principle behind such mean words are so ever profound. When pops told us to get out of his house, unless we did something dastardly, this is what he was saying: "son, I gave you everything and taught you everything I know. I do not know why you will not go out into the world and command your own life and have some independence. It hurts me to see that you're above 18 and you still want to live at home because I am not like that. Even though it's hard for me to express myself like this, I'm trying to make you a man, not a little boy, so that is why I am telling you.... GET OUT!"
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