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10 Clear Signs Your Friend Likes You: How to Tell If Your Best Friend Is Secretly Attracted to You

Updated on September 4, 2017
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After seeing many friends (or himself) seduced by love, only to crash and burn afterwards, Jorge writes advice based on his observations.

There's no way to know for sure if your friend likes you without asking, but there are signs.
There's no way to know for sure if your friend likes you without asking, but there are signs.

Interpreting the "Signs" That Your Friend Likes You

Before anything else, ask yourself this question: Do you like your friend romantically?

Are you bothered by the signs that your friend likes you, or do you welcome them eagerly?

The reason you might want to consider this is that if you like your friend back, then you will probably interpret their actions differently. You're more likely to see "signs" that aren't really there.

So before you worry about how to tell if your friend likes you, consider any possible biases that you could have about this.

That said, take a look at these common signs that your friend might like you and see if they apply to your situation:

1) They Always Seem Available

The first major sign that your friend likes you is if they're constantly available to you, even if they're an otherwise busy person.

They never seem to say "no" when you want to hang out.

They never seem to cancel or delay plans after you've made them.

Furthermore, you've noticed that sometimes they'll cancel plans with others to hang out with you instead.

These are obvious signs of someone who doesn't want to miss a chance to be around you.

It's possible that you're simply really close friends with this person and they like hanging out with you a lot because you get along well. Some people take their platonic friendships very seriously (as they should).

However, if you haven't known this person for that long, or you don't feel that you're that close, then this kind of behavior strongly indicates that they like you as more than a friend.

2) They Make Excuses to Be Alone With You

If someone is always available, there are many reasons why this might be. Maybe they just have a flexible schedule or don't have many other friends. However, if they're constantly making excuses to have some private time with you, then it's possible that they're attracted to you.

For example, let's say that you're at a party and the host has run out of pizza. You volunteer to go pick some up, and your friend is oddly eager to go with you, even if it means that they'll miss some of the party.

Maybe your friend is constantly trying to make plans that don't include any of your other acquaintances. Do they seem disappointed when you bring someone else along on an outing? Have they ever tried to get you to go somewhere with them alone after a group hangout has started to wind down?

These are all signs that they want to get to know you better...in private.

Don't know how to tell if your friend likes you? Eye contact is one way.
Don't know how to tell if your friend likes you? Eye contact is one way.

3) They Make More Eye Contact Than Your Other Friends

Hopefully, your friend isn't creepily staring at you all the time, but it is normal for someone who likes you to look at you more often. Naturally, this can take the form of extended eye contact.

To rule out the possibility that this person just makes long, intimate eye contact with everyone, watch how they interact with others. Notice how they look at other people and use that to form a "baseline." Are they looking at you more than anyone else?

Of course, there are some people who are really shy and will avoid eye contact with someone that they're attracted to--but usually this happens if they also don't know you very well. If you know them and are comfortable with them, chances are that they'll look at you a lot if they think you're attractive.

4) They Seem a Little Disappointed When You Call Them "Friend" or "Buddy"

If you're not sure whether someone is hoping to be something more than a friend, then calling them "buddy" and observing their reaction is a good place to start. Even if they are technically your friend, if they like you, it will be a bitter reminder of the platonic nature of your friendship.

So if your buddy seems uncomfortable with you smacking them on the back and talking about what a great friend they are, it could be a sign that your friend likes you.

Most people who are happy with just friendship react with appreciation and wouldn't be uncomfortable at all. Of course, don't be weird about it. If you lay it on too thick, then they might think that you like them!

5) They Are Willing to Do You More Favors Than They Will For Other People

Generally speaking, if someone really likes you, they'll go out of their way for you more than they will for others.

This can be a bit confusing because it's easy to just assume that they're just a nice, loving person who is happy to help a friend. Occasionally this might indeed be the case, but very often a person is unreasonably accommodating simply because they like you.

Again, this is where you need to observe their behavior with others to understand if it's just normal for them, or if they see you as someone special.

6) They Seem to Always Hate Whoever You're Dating

Does your friend never seem to like the person you're dating (or, worse, married to)?

Do they always seem to be able to find something "wrong" with your choice of partner? Do they even go so far as to tell you that you could "do better"? Whenever you have a fight with your boyfriend or girlfriend, are they always quick to point out how it's a sign that you're wrong for each other?

Sure, it's possible that you really did pick the wrong person to date, and your friend is merely concerned about your happiness. If this happens over and over again, though, and there's genuinely nothing wrong with the people you date, then it could be that your friend likes you.

It's especially telling if your friend tends to exaggerate the things that your significant other did wrong. For instance, let's say you had a normal argument with your partner. You didn't insult each other or anything, you just disagreed and raised your voices a little bit.

Next thing you know, your friend is telling you that you "deserve better."

- "You're such an amazing person. I can't believe anyone would dare treat you that way."

- "Uh, we just got in a small argument. That's pretty normal."

- "If I were dating you, I would treat you like a [queen / king]. I would never disagree with you."

Does the above conversation sound a bit familiar? Does it sound like something your friend would say?

This is a pretty obvious sign that your friend likes you.

Further, if they go as far as bad-mouthing your current lover for no good reason and implying that they would do a better job, be careful! Your passionate friend is probably not someone that you want to date. They have put you on a pedestal and have an unrealistic image of you in their mind. Keep your distance.

Does your friend give you an unusual amount of attention?
Does your friend give you an unusual amount of attention?

7) Whenever You Talk, You Always Seem to Have Your Friend's Full Attention

This one is kind of sad because, ideally, you should always have a friend's full attention when you talk to them!

However, in this day and age of constant distraction, you'll find that most people aren't listening to everything you say. They'll either start periodically checking their phones, or they'll start daydreaming the moment they get bored with what you're saying. People even do this to their own romantic partners.

On the other hand, if your friend is hanging on your every word, then they probably like you. If you always have their full attention, and they even remember little random things that you've said in the past, chances are that they have a crush on you of some kind.

Now, it is possible that this person is just a really good listener. Sometimes you'll run into people like this, who listen to everything you say as if you're the only person in the world. If you watch them with other people, though, you'll notice that this is their habit with everyone.

That's the difference here: A good listener listens to everyone carefully, more or less equally. A friend who is severely crushing on you will give you more attention than they will anyone else.

(As a side note, if you do meet someone who really is that good of a listener with everyone, make friends with them immediately. They are a rare breed. These are also the people who tend to have a lot of influence.)

8) They Compliment You a Lot

Most people are pretty stingy with compliments. When they do compliment, it'll usually be based on something you did.

For example, a polite acquaintance of yours might occasionally say things like:

  • "Your report turned out really well. Nice job."
  • "I like how you did your hair today."
  • "Wow, you're a really good driver. Even though you sped through the red light, you managed to miss that pedestrian in crutches who was in the crosswalk."

And so on.

If a friend likes you, though, the compliments tend to be more frequent and more personal. They will compliment you about who you are (or who they think you are) more than what you do.

For example, they might say:

  • "You're such a beautiful person."
  • "You're so smart. You always know just what to do."
  • "You have such a pure soul."

And so on.

Basically, a person who is really attracted to you will be more focused on you, the person, than the positive (or negative) things that you do. You could say that this is why love is blind. It's how a person who is in love can often ignore the glaring faults of their beloved.

Are you trying to figure out if your friend likes you because you want to be with them?
Are you trying to figure out if your friend likes you because you want to be with them?

9) They Try to Subtly Ask If You're Into Them

Most people who are attracted to someone want some kind of reciprocation.

However, this doesn't mean that they have the courage to come right out and ask for it.

Sometimes a person who secretly likes you will hint at it subtly. For example, they might ask what your type is. They might flirtatious jokes or imply that you like them, and then look for a reaction from you.

If someone point-blank asks if you like them--even as a "joke"--they almost certainly want to know because they're attracted to you. People who don't like you, but suspect that you're into them, usually try to avoid the subject altogether.

10) They Tell You That They Like You

Obviously, if someone comes right out and tells you, "Hey, Bozo, I like you!" then they probably do! Of course, it's no secret at that point.

Again, even if someone says it as "a joke," it's probably not. They're just looking for a positive reaction, but don't have the guts to tell you in an obvious way.

If your friend straight up tells you that they like you, take it seriously. Even if you don't like them back, have a talk with them and let them know clearly how you feel. You might be worried that you'll lose their friendship, but it's better than stringing them along and making them think that they have a chance with you.

What Do You Do If You See Signs That Your Friend Likes You?

Don't freak out! Just be honest about the situation. Stop allowing them to drop hints, and bring everything out in the open if you can. Sometimes the truth can be painful, but if you don't feel the same way they do, they need to know.

If you like them back, though, then it's even more important to be upfront! Tell them how you feel, even if you're afraid that the "signs" might not be enough evidence of their attraction.

You never know for sure unless you open yourself up to risk! That's how love is.

Your Friendship Situation

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© 2017 Jorge Vamos

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