I enjoy writing about traveling and dating people from different cultures.
Dating Thai Women
Thailand is one of the most popular tourist destinations in the world today, people from all over the globe come to Thailand to experience the culture, bath in the sun on the exotic beaches, eat the spicy Thai cuisine, and enjoy the nightlife. The truth is, the overwhelming majority of tourists traveling to Thailand are single men, with the intention of meeting Thai women, many of whom are hoping to have a relationship with a Thai girl. Most of these men will have an idea what they are looking for, and often it will be based on the stereotypes that are supported by the western media, as opposed to first-hand information or their own experiences.
There are a lot of myths floating around about Thai women, many of which are absolutely incorrect. The typical idea that westerners have about Thai women is that they are subservient, always waiting on their man, they are quiet, and never complain. Many people think that as long as you have a little money, you can have any Thai woman that you want. None of this is even close to factual, Thai women are no less independent that western women and most will not accept a role of total subservience to their man, especially those that choose to date foreigners. Contrary to popular belief, Thai women will not sleep with any man who has a few dollars in his pocket, even the prostitutes have standards, and in most cases, the punters are more desperate than the girls, due to the law of supply and demand.
You will come across older men with beautiful young girls, and clearly this will be related to money, however, if you are a fat slob with a dirty t-shirt, most of the girls will pay no attention to you (trust me, I know from experience). More often than not, the punters and the women are evenly matched, the more class and style the man has, the better woman he will end up with. This is true within all levels of society, whether you are talking about bar girls, university students, or businesswomen.
The reality is that a relationship with a Thai woman can be very rewarding if you put a little effort into it and offer something in return. The idea that you can get hitched with a Thai girl, and she will wait on you hand and foot and love you to death even though you treat her like garbage and your personal hygiene is dreadful, is simply false. In my experience being happily married to a Thai partner for over a decade, it is a lot easier to please Thai women than it is to please western women; however, it is equally important to put forth a certain amount of effort.
Thai women also have their little quirks, and there are challenges that you wouldn't normally deal with when dating western women. I personally think the risk is worth the reward, but let us look at it objectively. I have compiled a list below of some pros and cons of dating Thai women as opposed to western women.
Pros of Dating Thai Women
- Freedom: Thai women do not try to run your life, they expect you to do what you want to do, when you want to do it. It isn't a problem that you want to go out with the boys, watch the game, or have a poker night.
- Sex: Many western men complain that after getting married, their sex life disappears. Western women have a horrible reputation for withholding sex from their partners, or simply losing interest in sex. This simply doesn't exist in Thailand, perhaps because Thai women know that there are millions of other women out there that are happy to accommodate, and any withholding of sex would be counterproductive and may result in leading their man astray.
- Beauty: Thai women are world renowned for being incredibly beautiful, with a petite figure and an exotic look. They also tend to take better care of themselves, and they age well. You don't see Thai women getting married and gaining incredible amounts of weight or letting themselves go.
- Reconciliation: It doesn't seem to matter how big of a fight you have with your Thai girlfriend; it almost always seems that it is totally forgotten within a few short hours. They don't tend to stew on an issue for days on end, reconciliation after a fight seems to be much more simple in Thailand.
- Femininity: Thai women may not be subservient, but they do embrace a role of being the caretaker of the home, they do laundry, dishes, cooking, and cleaning, without any complaints. They dress and act like ladies, and they put a lot of time and effort into their appearance, and overall, I would say they have much better personal hygiene than western women.
- Availability: There is no shortage of available young Thai women that are looking to meet their "prince charming." Perhaps because there are large percentages of Thai men that are gay or transsexual, there seems to be plenty of women to go around.
- Approachability: If you walk up to a Thai woman, smile at her, and tell her she is beautiful, she will never give you a rude reply. She might not be interested, but if she is going to shut you down, she will do it politely with a little class. This is a lot more than I can say for many western women.
Cons of Dating Thai Women
- Money: It doesn't matter whether she is a bar girl, or a "well to do" Thai girl, she is sure to demand a constant supply of money and gifts.
- Family: When you shack up with a Thai girl, it isn't just her problems that you inherit, but those of her entire family. She will put her family first, always.. and your relationship will take a back seat when there is something going on with the family.
- Trust: Some people will say that you should never trust a woman, but this is probably even truer in Thailand. You have to be careful; there are countless stories of foreigners that get involved with a Thai woman and get taken to the cleaners.
- Communication: Unless you learn to speak Thai fluently, communicating with your Thai girlfriend can be quite challenging. Your relationship will suffer if you can't communicate with your partner.
- Cultural differences: Thai culture is very different than western culture, and this may present problems for inter-racial relationships. Learning and respecting Thai culture is an absolute must, if you wish to have a successful relationship with a Thai partner.
- Jealousy: As much as Thai women normally allow you your freedom, they are also known to be insanely jealous. They often have wild outbursts accusing you of sleeping with other women, and they can be suspicious of any interactions with other women. When John Bobbit lost his most prized possession after his wife attacked him with a knife, it made headlines around the world, incidents like this are actually fairly common in Thailand.
- Cheating: Men in Thailand often have far more opportunities to be unfaithful to their partner than they would back home; however, this goes both ways. As easy as it is for men to cheat on their girlfriends or wives, they aren't the only ones sneaking around.
© 2012 TravelinAsia
Troy on August 31, 2020:
dating a thai girl 101. if she speaks good english an dresses sexy she is or has been a bar girl. if she sleeps with you in a few days of meeting keep looking. there are exceptional women to be found in thailand but you won't find her down town.
Roy on July 26, 2019:
I have been married to a Young Thai wife for 18 years. Some time my life is hell. Sometimes it is heaven. Love and hate, can not have everything.
Anotherguy on July 15, 2019:
I dated a year older than me, Thai woman for long term. We met in Europe, she already had an EU passport from her previous husband, I also informed her of my financial status so there is no impression that I’m rich (I travel a lot for work, dress nice, tall and good looking). I was sure it is a honest feeling both ways as we were just a couple of two young and attractive people, but after all the lies and cheating, I no longer have such impression. She lied even if evidence was presented on the front of her. Expected me to provide as she had no plan for future and herself but then complained I work too much. She was contributing close to none to living costs and spending all of her money every month on unnecessary things like 20th bottle of perfumes or 10th gym outfit. As much as they can make you feel like a King, there is a massive culture difference. Biggest is fact that cheating is not that much of a deal for a Thai women. They get upset, they go out, get drunk, sleep with someone, comeback next day like nothing even happened and are happy to pick up relationship from when it was left. Be aware as there is more.
Read More From Pairedlife
Derick on July 05, 2019:
I have been dating a Thai woman who lives in Bangkok but who is originally from Surin, for 2 years.
She came over to my country South Africa and stayed with me for 3 months.
She has not worked for a few years for reasons unknown to me.
She recently went back to Thailand and has asked me to send her money every month for her living expenses until we can be together again.
I disagree with this and am wondering why she dies not find a job and financially take care of herself.
She says that if i cant financially take care of her, she will find another boyfriend who can support her.
I would like somecadvice please.
Lesa Swanson on July 02, 2019:
Why would a Thai woman not care if a man is married?
My husband is dating a Thai woman who confessed to me that she was a boy at birth??
Skylie on April 04, 2019:
Great article! Online dating in general sometimes unfairly gets a bad wrap, but most people don't realize that over 40% of new relationships world-wide are started ONLINE! There are a lot of good paid sites, and a few great free ones if you know where to look. For those who are more interested in Asian singles, the best truly free site we've found is Filipino4u
There are also some good paid sites like Match or eHarmony if you are willing to pay monthly fees.
Dave Core on March 16, 2019:
You can find decent bar girls. You just can't think with your dick. I met a bar girl this past January 2019, and we went on a date. I slept with her before I left and came back in March and we spent the whole week together. She doesn't ask me for money, but I do think the more the relationship progresses, I will be helping financialy, which I don't mind making a little investment with the right girl, plus it is part of Thai culture. I understand what I'm getting myself into.
I will never take her back to the west and I am very aware of how Thai women can be, but if you are thinking with the right head, you can weed out the gold diggers pretty quickly. The problem is most western men are so thirsty that they get themselves in trouble. Me and my girl are only 8 years apart. So, the age difference is very reasonable. Any girl in her early 20s nowadays in any country you have to be careful of. Especially if there is a large age difference. My Thai GF knows I'm not rich and she's fine with that. She has even bought me little things, which from other posts I have read, I have yet to read that from other guys that have been with Thai girls. These girls can sense thirsty men and take full advantage of the situation. For me, I'm going to keep an open mind and after I go and meet her parents in May, I will decide from there. There are good and bad in every country and Thailand is no exception. I like Thai culture and find the people very friendly. If you read and so afraid of the bad stories that other guys have had with bad experiences and it affects your thinking about Thailand and Thai people, then do yourself and them a favor by not going there. Go some where else.
LeBlanc101 on December 29, 2018:
After many years of visiting Thailand I can safely say that personally I wouldn't date a Thai woman if it was the price of a ticket outta hell. This 36 hour window from hello to ' I want to leave my husband, I need you' is far too crazy
KARMA MRA MGTOW from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia on September 12, 2018:
I have a 30- 32yo Thai women staying as a tenant here in Melbourne Australia at my place, this is the third one, in the past few years. All three do not have an honest bone in their body. The type of lies and the sheer number of them is breathtaking. All three are into scamming men with multiple men on the go. They are looking for an Aussie sucker to get their P.R.
She tried to pretend she was single to me, I am not interested anyhow. She is way to thin, immature and entailed for me. I find the perfect women act she puts on creepy and fake.
Only reason why she fessed up to having a BF was because he has knocking on the front door at 12:30 at night and they were arguing. She claims the guy is a 37yo mech engineer but he looks alot older. She was going to play single, how ridicules.
As far as she is concerned I have not seen him. The only reason I mentioned him to her was because I forgot to mention that I prefer that myself and Tenants don't bring home people overnight.
The other night she told me she was going to the gym, she left at 06:00pm she arrive home at 02:00am. I guess it is none of my business, but I had to make it my business as she had designs on me. I believe I have the right to assess the character of the people I am living with.
Anyhow she has promised to leave her man/men outside of the property so I am happy with that.
The Thai girl before this one a few years back was a complete whore. Even had guys over. Her bedroom is next to mine! She also used to work at a Thai massage place and at the end of her shift and I quote her boss "she has a different guy waiting for her every night after her shift".
No more Thai female tenants after this one. Way to much dishonesty and drama. Complication and hassle in life that it is not required.
The current Thai girl I don't even know her real name or her age. She calls herself Meow but that is not the name on her passport, she flashed her passport at VICROADS.
Lying by omission is her modus-operand.
Hopefully she will be out by the end of the year.
Ampai on September 02, 2018:
First of all NOT ALL THAI WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT. And bonita if you did a bigger research you would know that thailand is the one place where women have respect for strangers. We don't like to be rude and push people away when they are lost. Also if you haven't explore every part of thailand, then please stop judging every thai women in a negative way just because of one bad experience in your life and if you had no experience then apparently you are just hearing it from someone elses problem. See it in person then you can talk. Not every thai women are the same.
Rob B. on August 11, 2018:
suzanna123 and others:
All your posts about younger women and older men reflect are your own insecurities and prejudices. You are entitled to your opinions, but they are nothing more than that. Your believing or wishing it doesn't make it so, and your general propositions do not govern concrete cases.
suzanna123 on August 02, 2018:
Muzzique I am not sure about a 19 yr age gap being "love" but I suppose it is possible. The 40+ year age gap relationship you mentioned....I would bet $10000 that is just a transactional relationship.It just is almost impossible for a young woman to feel romantic love/sexual passion for someone older than her grandfather. Just because she is Thai does not mean she is not human. I think on some levels, the old man knows it is not love...but he is willing to live in denial anyway. As a woman, it is very disturbing that some men are happy with a girl 30 - 40 yrs younger, with nothing in common with them, nothing to discuss, etc. Often, the man cannot even perform in bed. If it were your daughter and an old man wanted to date her, probably you would want to kill the old man. Why treat poor girls differently from the way you would want your daugters to be treated?
suzanna123 on August 02, 2018:
Actually, a politician in Thailand recently advised young women there to marry a foreigner as a way out of "a life of misery". Everyone knows it goes on and has been for a long time. Life is very difficult there so you cannot blame the women too much; for these women, it is often either a choice between selling their bodies to tons of men or just one. Blame the old perverts who go there to bed young girls.
Bonita on June 23, 2018:
I was just laid off a job becauae my 70 year old bosses 37 year old bought in Thailand wife hated the thought that we were alone at work everyday. Trust me when I say I have zero interest in him and I tried being her feiend but she's nuts! Unlike what I've always heard, she does absolutely nothing all day and all night. Will not cook, clean, do laundry, nothing. LaIest human I've ever met. She had to have a hysterectomy so she can't have children. Wants his three kids out of his will and thinks she knows how to run a business because she worked in purchasing for 3 years at a company that went belly up in Thailand. Because she demands that he support everyone she has known since birth in Thailand, he has drained his company of almost all the money. What he hasn't sent to Thailand, he puts in her savings account. He even pays her "Pastor" over 1,000.00 a month and doesn't even know the guy. I'm thinking he's her 'brother" as they like to call their boyfriend in Thailand. She is always telling people how old her husband is and that nobody would want him and then be all sweet to him in the next breath. I think men need to wake up if they honestly think that these "women" really love them. To me they are nothing but glorified prostitutes and I have zero respect for them.. I actually pity them. If they think we American women are jealous of them, they need to get real. Dude, if you are so happy with your Thai bride thwn that's great but don't try to make it seem like all maeeiagesike yours is as good. I hate seeing a woman demean herself by marrying someone older than her dad just doesn't money. That's just gross. Shows no moral values and I wish the government would see this is nothing but a way for these women to get out of their country.
Tapperjoe on April 11, 2018:
Hi,I Am Going To Thailand In October For A Month,There Is One Thing I Am Worried About Is I Am Very Hairy and conscious about My body,i Want To Meet A Thai Girl,i Dont Want To Put Her Off Because of my body Hair,can Anyone Help Me on this,Thanks
Harry McNicholas on February 27, 2018:
Much what is said about Thai women can be said for women in any country. However, thinking young women do not fall for older men is BS. Lauren Bacall was 19 when she fell for Bogey who was 45. It is going to depend upon class and charm. Younger men usually are not stable and more apt to cheat. If you are only 25 and fat and ugly being young is not going to help.
Lisa B. on February 01, 2018:
Men- young, beautiful women do not want you if you aren't young and handsome. Get a clue here. I am 27 and none of my friends would take a man over 40 years old seriously unless he was George Clooney or something. Date women your own age, lol.
Mario on December 02, 2017:
I just think having dated in Germany, Italy, and Korea, language can always be a problem, culture and for the most part being honest. I just to be myself, language is about for the most part, be patient enough to help each other learn. I have had girlfriends in a lot of different part of the world, but, am alway open minded to culture and language. I guess, what am saying is my girlfriends have always loved me, protected me, as I do them. I use walk out in Italy and Germany, my only thought was I love people. Crazy, but people no matter where I was love me.. am just a good old southern boy, with a big heart, idk
Muzzique on October 12, 2017:
I think there is a lot of generalisation here and also many views of Thai women that I have found here are very wrong. If you visit Thailand and head for the locations where most foreign men head you will find the kind of girls there that it attracts. There is a view that foreign men are rich and that can attract girls who are seeking that, but my understanding from the Thai women that I have met is that most prefer foreign men because of the poor way Thai men treat them. Needless to say I have always kept away from the locations where tourists and typical Thai visitors go and keep to the more unspoilt places where traditional Thai culture still thrives.
You can make a lot of mistakes by not researching where to go and it important to have someone on the ground who knows the lie of the land and also the people who live there. I was very lucky to stumble on an agency run by an English guy who has been married to a Thai girl for the past 16 years located in the North East of Thailand in Issan. Before I even set foot in Thailand I spent a long time talking to him and her about the reality of meeting and marrying a Thai girl and what I needed to be aware of. It was a real reality check and helped me understand what I was entering into and what would be expected of me. Family bonds are strong in Thailand and you need to be aware you are marrying into the family and you would be expected to support them if required. Same as you would in any other family and the same way is expected of all family members in Thailand. . There is no social security and no free health care so be aware, she will love her family and if you love her you would be expected to care about the people she cares about. That is expected of you. That being said I have never had to spend even one penny relating to this but I know if my partner’s father fell ill and needed hospital treatment I would be expected to support that. Understand the consequences of not doing that on your partners love for you so be aware, a degree of financial support is part and parcel of the culture you are marrying into.
That being said, buying gold, camera’s, perfumes and anything else she asks for is not a good indicator of the type of girl you are with. It’s also a sign you may be being exploited so understand the difference between the cultural need to support her and the family from the demands of someone who sees you as a walking bank account. My fiancée has never asked for a penny from me. She goes shopping and will buy the normal things a girl needs. She’ll occasionally pick a dress for 250 baht and if I offer to pay for it she is happy. If I say let’s get a more expensive one she gets offended. She tells me, she doesn’t need a more expensive one and I get a good telling off. I once offered her money to pay a mobile phone bill of hers and ended up in the dog house. She told me that if I thought she was that kind of girl I should take her to the gold shop and buy her gold. I learnt my lesson I can tell you.
Age gaps do work but if you are 50 with a 21 year old realise that there is a big difference in your and their view on life and question the reason they are with you. As a rule of thumb anything over 22 years is too much. My age gap is 19 years and we are fine. I know one guy who has a 43 year age gap and he and his wife are perfectly happy so there are exceptions to any rule.
Thai wives are subservient to meant to a degree as they see it as a duty to look after their man however ever girls personality is different. My partner is both subservient and submissive but I have met others who are subservient in terms of how they view their duties within relating to their home and husband but definitely wear the pants beyond that. It is the same in every culture, that women differ in personality as do men so see beyond the cultural aspects to the person to see who and how they are.
A few pointers.
In my experience Thai women prefer you to take the lead. My partner will never call me but waits for me to call her. She prefers I tell her when I will call rather than ask her if she is available to talk. There is definitely a view that you need to take decisions and lead the way. She wants me t chose what she wears, where we live and want we eat. My partner is more submissive in this way but in general that leading role is expected of you.
Thai girls are shy in public (and at behind closed doors too). Kissing is a very uncomfortable thing for them to do so try to respect their view. I get away with holding hands but that about as far as it goes. In place of a kiss a girl will smell you in an affectionate way. It’s important to make sure you bath often, use plenty of baby powder and good perfume. Be prepared to sniff her back.
There are different types of Thai women and the good ones will prefer to wait till after marriage for any sexual relationship. This also applies to girls how have been married before. Whilst they can bend the rules be aware that if you do not marry them they will carry some decree of shame in others eyes so try to be respectful. That will gain you respect in their eyes and in the eyes of the family which you will probably be joining. That a good thing believe me if you want to keep your new wife happy.
If you do decide to go away with your partner she is probably working so understand the family will be a financial disadvantage. Try to find out how much she will lose in money and offer to make it up to her. It will not be much but it shows you care.
When you marry you will be expected to pay a dowry to the family to thank them for bringing her up. It seals the passing of the responsibility to you from her family. It ranges from 300,000 to 700,000 Baht . My partner’s is 550,000. It is not a good idea to haggle too much unless it is unreasonable. It will make her feel she is not valuable to you and that you care more about money than love.
If you are lucky enough to live in the EU and can get a job in another EU country you can bypass the complex visa system for member states. EU law supersedes member state law and is less stringent in its criteria for a wife’s visa. After she arrives and if you have children she can claim citizenship as the mother of a child from a member state. Alternatively the visa will enable her to stay long enough to claim citizenship by residency. It saves months of waiting and masses of paperwork not to say the huge costs member states charge now for processing marriage visas. Marrying in Thailand is pretty simple so I would advise that route if possible,
Try to avoid meeting someone is a bar or club. They are not places nice girls want to be seen Try to avoid going to those places or sharing pictures of you drinking or in bars. Thai girls associate bars with bar girls and you do not want to give her the wrong idea of how you live.
Most Thai girls are shy to ask for help when they are struggling with something. Try to listen to what she says. She will leave clues that there is an issue then you need to lead into the offer to help. Try not to avoid offering help when none is needed. Again you can end up feeling her offended side.
Thai girls are very possessive when it comes to their man so try not to do anything to fire their jealousy. You will not come out of it well. Comments about how another girl looks or looks at girls who may be walking around in more provocative outfits will not help your journey towards marriage.
Most dating agencies in Thailand are licence to print money. Photo-shopped pictures and girls looking for rich guys are the norm. Don’t part with your money before you travel as the results can leave you out of pocket with large agency fees, and with girls who bleed you dry, They may be the odd diamond in the ruff but look out for the warning signs and be prepared to close your feelings down and walk away if she asks you to hand out money.
lovelyz on October 11, 2017:
In 2 years you will be 50 years old (old enough to be a grandfather) she is young enough to be your daughter.
Where is COMMUN SENSE? Use some logic.
Young Thai women who date OLDER MEN do it FOR MONEY and SECURITY.
Women in thailand are no different than women in western country. It just Thai women are poorer so they have to do things they don't really want to do.
Women are attracted to handsome men just like men are attracted to beautiful women. If you aren't handsome in her eyes, then there is nothing you can do about it.
Keep in mind that "ATTRACTION need to be at THE SAME LEVEL.
There are many women who sell their beauty for money but they do it for MONEY.
Young Thai women don't fall in love with oldmen, they fall in love with their wallets (ATM).
If you search for a girlfriend/wife material WHO WILL LOVE and BE ATTRACTED TO YOU, seek a women 7 years younger, maximum 14 years younger. It's healthier because as you age, you will need someone who can understand you and can talk to you. You be will at the same stage of life where you need a mature, smart and understanding partner.
Anonymous on October 09, 2017:
I disagree about #5 in pros, about personal hygiene... Gosh, your girl must have come from a very clean family. My ex bf had lots of friends who had large families and I would generally rate their hygiene level as one of the worst on the planet! In fact, this is one of the reasons we broke up, while I don't consider myself a super clean person. I do agree with #2 from cons a lot! I have been kicked out from the house like a homeless dog numerous times while his (extremely dirty and unfriendly mom) have been called a "second god"! He would never understand my emotional breakdowns and would stay cold and passive during arguments calling me animal for raising my voice at him. It might be just him and his friends, but those who are interested in exotic cultures beware!...
Jaye on October 04, 2017:
Well said girl1234 ☺
Danny on August 22, 2017:
I've read your story and i really feel sorry. Recently I also met in Europe a Thai girl, not so young as yours. We ve have been dating like 1,5 month. In the beginning she was texting me like hell. On our last date she was really a cold person, totally completely uninterested in me, and i got no more text messages from her. I really thought i did something wrong. Still have no clue why she was reacting like that (she also said she a sick mother). It was if i was walking next to a ghost. But she could say these weird things which a normal person in the West normally would never say. E.g on our third date she said she was going to travel to Thailand in a few months time and she asked me if i would join her! Since i am working in the aviation industry, she asked me in between if i was able to get cheap tickets! On our third date already!!For our second date she already wanted to go to a Spa weekend with me! During the 1,5 month i ve seen her, i simply could never read her. She was never asking to my emotions and sometimes she was really a cold figure although she always wanted to stay friend. Ow yes, i fell in love with her.
I ve read your story as well and there are some similarities. We both fell in love. Did you do something wrong?? No it just happened. But you have to understand this is simply a chemical progress in the brains. Your brains are producing dopamines, endorfines while seeing her and your body is screaming for more and more. While "missing" her your body enters a rehab stage. Compare it with taking drugs. This process has nothing to do with loving somebody. When u are with her after a while, this "falling in love process" simply stops and you would see a different person in front of you. And this might be not so nice as in your dreams.
You just did not realize what was happening to you and she was taking advantage of that. The same for me, i was in love but was also the big pay master! So were you. Apparently it is in their culture that a man needs to pay for everything which is somehow a clash with our western culture. Like you i am also a gentleman but there is a point where you simply have to say :"STOP" and close your wallet. Just to protect you.
It is very easy for others to say that you were naive. You were not, you were in a vulnerable postion and somebody took advantage of that. You did not recognize the symptoms, you did not know anything of the thai culture.
It will take time to get over it now, but you will. There is absolutely nothing wrong in wanting to have a thai girlfriend, but next time, try to stay a bit more rational, try to make a difference between falling in love and loving her, dont waste your time with bar girls and go to normal places where you meet daily women in daily life.
All the best for you mate.
Hello on August 21, 2017:
I want to tell
David from Australia on July 11, 2017:
It's true that you were vulnerable when you went to Thailand. Coming out of a broken relationship is possibly the worst time to be searching for new love, especially exotic new love. You need to let time pass to get some perspective.
Going to Thailand as a tourist and falling in love with a younger, beautiful woman is a common story. Just as common is the outcome, often a sad one. The comment by Girl1234 is very wise and all of us blokes need to take it on board.
Truthfully, if you are unlikely to find love in your home country with a much younger woman, why on earth expect it somewhere else? If you are serious about a relationship with a Thai woman or the like, then start researching the subject seriously. Find out about the culture from reputable sources. Look at the experiences of others who have gone before, avoiding the mistakes they have made. Find someone closer to your own age, likely a woman who is divorced and may have children. Even in this case, she will have other reasons apart from your good looks and personality for entering the relationship, though love will grow as you accept this and commit yourself to her.
I am very happily married to a Thai woman who fits the description in the previous paragraph, so it can work and it can be very good. But you need to be cautious in your approach and realistic in your thinking.
Girl1234 on July 06, 2017:
I do not understand. Why would you think a 24 year old, beautiful girl, would be in love with a 48-year old man? Does this seem reasonable to you? I am not trying to be cruel, but have some common sense. People need to grow up, accept that they have grown older, and either date people close to their own age or be alone. If you really want a trophy, get rich and get in shape. Don't expect someone to be with you for no reason other than that you like them.
John on May 25, 2017:
I'm 48 and had my first trip to Thailand with 2 mates 6 months ago. I was very excited but very vulnerable after a relationship breakup some six months earlier. In my 10 days there I took home 2 bar girls. Amazingly beautiful and I was mesmerised by them . I went back to Australia obsessed with the country . I kept in touch with one of them who I wanted to be my girlfriend. But I couldn't understand why she had to keep sleeping with men for a living . I never sent her money and this stopped and she would go crazy . I thought I had learnt my lesson but no ! No sooner I was back in Australia I booked another holiday in 6 months time . A young girl 24 who had a good job at a hotel had come to dinner with us and my mates Thai fiancé on our first trip. We became friends on Facebook. She was stunning . She used to send me random pictures of the beaches and remote scenery with words like " you should be here"
She was sucking me in big time . I really thought she wanted to be with me . I asked her to stay with me on my next trip . She could take me places and I thought we would have a lot of fun together. After a while she said yes . She did ask at one stage what I wanted from her. I said that we would sleep together. Me meaning sex . I asked her how she felt about the age difference me being 48 . She said she had no problems because she would be happy doing things that ade her happy and people would see that . I asked her how she felt about us sexually. No reply . A couple of weeks before my trip she asks if I can do her a favour and buy her some perfume in Australia as she can't get it there and she would give me the money . I said no I'm happy to buy it as a gift . I then bought her earrings as a surprise. Then when I'm about to board the plane I find out she is away in another part of Thailand with a girlfriend and won't be there on the 5 th as she said . To cut a long story short she came on the 7 th . By this time I was lonely and getting depressed. I said don't come you have wasted my time . She pleaded I want to spend time with you and I relented. I took her nice places and paid for everything. When I mentioned sex she said she had her period. Because I'm a gentleman I never pursued it . But I never got a kiss or a cuddle the entire time . I told her it was hurting me spending time with her because I had feelings for her and said I don't know why you are staying with me . She said I want to spend time with you . When I was upset and hurt the last night she said she didn't think it right she stayed and left . No arguments. I never raised my voice through my upset . I was actually in tears . Spending time with her I thought she was this amazing, beautiful girl . My heart ached. I have come back to Australia heartbroken. I am severely depressed and struggling. I still am blinded and see her as this beautiful girl . My friends are saying she has just played me . When she knew I had no plans on my last day there before flying out that night she said I have to leave at 8 am to spend time with my friend. I was so gullable . It's been over 2 Weeks and I'm heartbroken. I don't hear from her at all . I really thought she was a special lady . Now I'm the only one suffering. I'm extremely depressed .
John on May 20, 2017:
There are some very valid points here, but some I would have to disagree with. One of the huge advantages to western people about Thai people is that they are very easy to relate to and speak with. That's one of the reasons why the concept of the Beer Bars is so successful. I find that compared to other Asian countries, the culture difference is far less. Thai people are open minded in their attitudes, have a reasonably comprehensive appreciation of people from different countries and different cultures and you can have conversation about most things without being frustrated by closed minded attitudes and ignorance of other cultures and peoples. This is not allways the case with other Asian countries, the worst being the Phillipines, where no one knows anything about any country unless it is America and they are not interested in anything else and you are constantly probed about your religious beliefs and any wish to get married, with no alternative conversation options available.
Paul on April 16, 2017:
Nice article. The only real difference between Thai ladies and Western White ones is they just seem more approachable and you are less likely to get the cold shoulder. A lot of Western woman (not all of course) really think they're something.
Otherwise Thai women are just like any others.
I have had a one Thai girlfriend (not a bar girl) and got asked for money a lot (the old "Buffalo Sick" story) so dumped her even though she was stunningly beautiful....had a Kim Kardashian look to her. My present one is cool but I laid down the law to her before we got serious regarding money.
Would definitely advise a solid pre-nup if was to marry one. There is a danger of getting taken to the cleaners down the line and I have heard that women from the north east province,(Issan) where many bar girls in BKK come from, have a bad rep. A lot of Thai from other parts of Thailand even look down on them.
Anyhow, good luck..if you find a good Thai girl you'll be happy for life.
Paul in UK
Jsmith@Hotmail.co.uk on January 22, 2017:
What a load of shit! !!! Thai women, unlike western women, don't gain wait and let themselves go!!! Wow what a statement.
No, because at that point they've had all your money off you and moved on!! Lol get a grip! You talk like Thailand woman are the superior race. They are dominated by western men, a's long as your buying then clothes, food, whatever- oh and looking after their kids (not yours!) and family.
Rose tinted glasses!!! Lol!!!
David from Australia on January 17, 2017:
Thanks for the article. Very helpful. I am married to a Thai woman whom I met in my home country, Australia. 90% of the time she is delightful to be with. Good company, fond of sharing, a good cook, reliable, honest and um, sexy too. She is very affectionate and extremely capable.
But the other 10% of the time can vary from her being irrationally jealous of my ex (who lives in the same town and with whom I share custody of a son) to almost completely bonkers. For example, if I miss a text message from her on my phone this can lead to theatrics about how I don't love her and how I'm not thinking about her enough. This can go on for hours with me getting the cold shoulder and a curt tone of voice in the bargain.
It usually clears up the following day though I tend to be collateral damage, not liking conflict and always trying to resolve issues, as is my wont. Your point about reconciliation is therefore soothing to me and I will take it more on board.
Perhaps I just need to leave her alone when she gets into these moods if I want a long and happy marriage, thought the histrionics of these episodes is draining.
Paul on August 05, 2015:
I'm not interested in traveling to another country to spend my hard earned money on a Thai girlfriend. I don't believe Thai women are better than western women. Hell... Women are women. I've traveled the world for business and vacations so I've seen my share of women. There are gorgeous women in every country! Personally, I love a woman who makes her own income and has a vast amount of intelligence. I'll welcome a sugar mama anytime!
Stuart Williamosn on July 23, 2014:
I have been in Thailand for just under two month and have met a Thai lady who is the same age as me(37) Yes Thai women are generally very friendly but like all other women have a dark side to them. They can be very possessive as I have experienced this with other Asian cultures as well. They are not completely subservient but do give that impression off in the beginning. Also they are not that adventurous lovers but do show sense of loyalty and kindness that Western women don't possess. I am half South African and half British so I have travelled and dated a variety of women from different walks of life, races and culture so I do know what I am talking about. Personally as you probably know already Western Culture is very individualistic and GENERALLLY less family orientated and African, Asian culture is more collective and family orientated as your post said above. That's just my personal outlook on the matter.
GayFriend on July 14, 2014:
I have never been to Thailand but I am friends with a gay male couple who go regularly two or three times a year. Whenever they go they avoid gay culture and ladyboys as these are potentially a threat to their relationship. Instead they have sex with Thai Bar girls. Clearly these girls do not mind what anyone's orientation is, so long as they can earn a living. Apparently they are lovely kind girls. Well they would be wouldn't they?
Bruce on May 25, 2014:
Well written article. I was married to a Thai lady for 12 years, and since divorcing have been in a relationship for 4 years.
I agree with many of your points, however I must disagree with your "pros" about sex. I have found that Thai women are not much different then other women in this respect. Maybe less serious about sex, which is good. But they think they are old already at 35 - 40, and at 50 too old. My girlfriend of 47 (I'm 60 and in great health and slender) just told me she's almost 50 so if I expect to have sex, I better get a younger girlfriend.
Not a good way to communicate love and caring to your partner.
She doesn't leave me much choice.
I'm not saying this is the only part of a relationship, but it needs to be some part.
Expect inconsiderate and uncaring remarks like this from Thai women. They are immature and have very little understsnding about feelings.
TravelinAsia (author) from Thailand/Southeast Asia on January 15, 2014:
Sounds like Don likes tall white women ..
Live a little Don!
Don on January 09, 2014:
"World renowned"?.... I have heard about the world renowned beauty of Swedish, Ukranian, Russian, Norwegian women but never Thai women. Exotic can also be applied to Western women.
Just from traveling and observation.
Beth37 on February 17, 2013:
oracle on February 11, 2013:
YOU won??? vkernal... what bad case of stds??? maybe terminal ???
vkernal on January 20, 2013:
Been to thailand over 50 times v last 10 years.......im 36year old now, ive studied this place and it's a dog eat dog country, from the bar girl to the business girl, i would not trust any of them and its as simple as that, different people to us westerners , thailands as savage country where people get murdered regularly and the killers can get away with it, you got a constant flow of vunerable rich white men from all over v world bein ripped off big time, these bar girls are experts, or ya so called normal girls got 10.000bht a month jobs in bkk or ya salon girls , there all v same breed and only want ya cash, and all of it if they get v chance, they generally have thai husbands or bf,s even when there fucking every farang goin, but this is how it is.......in 10 years ive been with many, but ive played my game not theres, never had a gf in thailand, gone there for fun games an business, in 10 years ive played them big time, but..... i have heard too many storeies and saw many broken men, in mind and pocket, i,d advise any young lads or older men to go there have fun, pay a fare rate, never have a gf, never send cash? for what...... never believe anything as , as soon as your on v plane there not in the village there shaggin as usual with other targets, this is how it works. SO SIMPLE RULES ARE TO PLAY.... OR BE PLAYED. i chose to play. AND WON.
Globetrekkermel from CALIFORNIA on September 29, 2012:
By the way, I am Asian but I don't think I fit in the category of ASIAN WOMEN GONE MAD WITH JEALOUSY.HA HA HA ! Been living in the States too long or must be the frequent trips to Europe (where women seem to have an indifferent attitude on jealousy) that have influenced my attitude on the issue.
Globetrekkermel from CALIFORNIA on September 27, 2012:
Oh la la, jealousy seems to be a common trait among Asian women.It is also true in the Philipines.Women in the Philippines can get jealous for no reason and they can be overly dramatic and passionate in their jealousy. Have not heard a BYE BYE BIRDIE case (LOL!) ala LORENA BOBBIT but maybe it also happens there as well , not just sensationalized.
livingabroad from Wales, UK on June 14, 2012:
Interesting piece you've put together there! I've lived in Thailand for the last year and had a couple of very contrasting relationships (none with bar girls I'll add!) One wouldn't leave my apartment, literally wouldn't leave and was, as you put it 'insanely jealous'. About nothing. Cue drunken hammering's on the door at 2am. I also feared for my chap at one stage as I've also heard many stories about the seemingly normal practice of willy removal! On the other hand my current girlfriend is amazing. She's chilled out, we both do what we want and she doesn't expect the world from me. I look after because it feels right, not because its expected.
I agree with you, it seems that all Thai women will look after their appearance and are the cleanest people I know.
However it does does sound like you have a bit of a vendetta against western women! Not that I don't relate to what your saying, just go easy man! Up and interesting. Will be following your hubs with great interest :)
TravelinAsia (author) from Thailand/Southeast Asia on February 26, 2012:
Thank you for commenting, It sounds like you didn't like the video? I attached the video just to offer a different perspective, but the overall idea of the article was quite different than the video.
apple on February 26, 2012:
very interesting Mr. Jesse but I don't like it because the whole picture are look down Thai women. :(( I agree with some idea but I disagree with the idea to fine husband (foreigners guy) on line. if you think if you married with foreigners guys you will get better life and that is false because not every one will lucky but most of them more worse and also lots of fake people on internet. I just would like to tell thai girls " Please use your brain to fine husband don't use your body and don't sell yourself cheap. We are high value and our culture so beautiful please don't let foreigners look down us and think us just a toy products. Please respect our hometown and our culture. I know Thailand is a poor country and most of them are poor, especially thai people in Northeastern part. I fell sorry to some Thai girls as they have no choice and they just think to get a better life but with the idea to have foreigner husband is not the only way and very risk . you have so many way to get a better life. improve your skill, gain more your knowledge and work harder. I know sometimes is really hard but you will be proud yourself. " FOLLOW YOUR HEART BUT KEEP YOUR BRAIN WITH YOU" it is such a sensitive topic to give an idea Mr. Jesse but I really want to see you write the article about How beautiful my cultures and how kind thai girls is. Please focus on my beautiful reality culture and simple life how they live. the ordinary thai girls are lovely. forget about bar girls, they are just a few spot in thailand that make foreigners look down us. Please fine out a simple ordinary thai girls and tell world about her story. Thank you. ^^