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Why the ENFP and INFJ Are Perfect for Each Other

Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.

It can feel impossible to find your perfect match, but if you're an ENFP dating an INFJ (or vice versa), you're already three steps ahead.

It can feel impossible to find your perfect match, but if you're an ENFP dating an INFJ (or vice versa), you're already three steps ahead.

Complementary Personality Types

For every Myers-Briggs personality, there's a counterpart that makes an almost perfect fit (the key is in the functions). Relationships struggle if people don't have at least one pair of similar or dominant functions that guide them.

ENFP ("The Champion") and INFJ ("The Counselor") share the NF functions, which means they are both highly intuitive people who would struggle with someone who is more dominated by sensing. These two thrive on metaphors, abstractions, and the creative. Trying to get them to be normal and grounded would be like trying to make a levitating unicorn made of rainbows do your taxes.

Although any relationship can thrive, ENFPs do best with Intuition Feeling types, and INFJs do best with Extraverted Intuition types. Small wonder these two personalities are so drawn to each other!

ENFP: Extraverted, Intuition, Feeling, Perceiving

INFJ: Introverted, Intuition, Feeling, Judging

The ENFP and INFJ will instantly have a connection, and whether it be friendship, a business partnership, or love, it should last for a long time. This doesn't mean the two will never have a falling out, but they should be able to overcome these issues because they intrinsically understand each other and balance each other out. If you take a look at the table of functional stacks below, it shouldn't be too hard to see why.

ENFP vs. INFJ Functional Stacks


Dominant Function

Extraverted Intuition (Ne)

Introverted Intuition (Ni)

Auxiliary Function

Introverted Feeling (Fi)

Extraverted Feeling (Fe)

Tertiary Function

Extraverted Thinking (Te)

Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Inferior Function

Introverted Sensing (Si)

Extraverted Sensing (Se)

But why exactly do these two personality types work so well together? It's a little more complicated than just saying they share functions.

This Article Discusses

  1. ENFP Compatibility
  2. INFJ Compatibility
  3. Pros and Cons of an ENFP-INFJ Relationship
  4. Why INFJs and ENFPs Are Attracted to Each Other
  5. Why INFJs and ENFPs Work Well Together
  6. ENFP Characteristics
  7. INFJ Characteristics
  8. Similarities Between INFJs and ENFPs
  9. How to Tell It's an ENFP-INFJ Connection

1. ENFP Compatibility

ENFPs long for passionate relationships that foster growth in both partners. They thrive in relationships where they're able to explore, discover, and learn as a team, and they love nothing more than having their worldview expanded by intellectually stimulating partners.

Intuition Feeling (NF) Types

ENFPs are often drawn to other NF types (i.e. INFJ, INFP, ENFJ, and ENFP)—also known as The Idealists. The personality types in this group value authenticity and individuality and pair well together. The Idealist has a strong focus on cooperative interactions and a deep-seated need for meaning in life, so when you put two Idealists together, they're highly likely to engage in deeply meaningful and mutually satisfying conversations.

Sensing Judging (SJ) Types

SJ types (i.e. ESTJ, ISTJ, ISFJ, and ESFJ)—also known as The Guardians—offer a consistency and stability that ENFPs often find attractive and comforting, but these pairings are best made later in life, once each person has firmly settled into their personality type. Otherwise, they run the risk of using each other as crutches for their inferior functions (Si, in the ENFP's case).

Sensing Perceiving (SP) Types

ENFPs are also often attracted to SP types (i.e. ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, and ISTP)—also known as The Artisans. While they may seem similar in some ways, they have several key differences; for example, SPs are more interested in outward experiences than inward ones (e.g. actions and appearances vs. perspectives and ideas). This may eventually lead to frustration, as the SP will desire more sensory stimulation whereas the ENFP will long for more mental stimulation.

Read More From Pairedlife

Intuition Perceiving (NP) Types

ENFPs also get along well with other NP types (i.e. INFP, INTP, ENFP, and ENTP)—also known as The Adaptable Innovators. Pairs from this group generally prefer similar lifestyles and will never run out of things to talk about.


2. INFJ Compatibility

INFJs thrive in partnerships where their keen intellect is constantly being stimulated and challenged. A relationship grounded in reality, yet full of mental exploration and deep discussion is most satisfying for an INFJ.

Extraverted Intuition (EN) Types

INFJs are often drawn to EN types (ENFP, ENTP, ENFJ, and ENTJ), also known as the Action-Oriented Innovators because they balance each other out. The extroverted nature of the EN type satisfies the INFJ's desire to socialize and encourages them to get out of their comfort zone from time to time. ENFPs and ENFJs are particularly compatible with INFJs.

ENFPs love socializing and connecting with all kinds of people, but they also know how to gently coax the independent and creative side out of the typically more reserved INFJ while remaining sensitive to their need for quiet and calm.

ENFJs and INFJs are both incredibly passionate, but while the INFJ's convictions tend to remain internalized or "hidden," the ENFJ isn't afraid to put their beliefs out there for everyone to see. Since both personality types care immensely about the world and making it a better place, this pairing can work well.

Introverted Intuition (IN) Types

INFJs are also often drawn to other IN types (INTJ, INFP, and INTP), also known as the Thoughtful Innovators. This introspective and scholarly group prefers theory to real-world accomplishments, which is why they're often considered the least practical of the MBTI personality types.

This being said, IN types take great pleasure in the company of their fellow Thoughtful Innovators because they share the same heady, internal world. INFPs and INTJs are particularly well-suited to relationships with INFJs because, for all the traits they share, they also have some fundamental differences.

INFPs are less organized and punctual than INFJs, but their optimism is absolutely contagious. INTJs value logic over emotion, which can be grounding for the daydreamy INFJ.

NTP Types

INFJs are often drawn to NTP types due to a shared preference for intuition, which often leads to satisfying discussions about theoretical and metaphysical topics. They also have complementary judgment systems, combining thinking and feeling.

STP Types

INFJs are also sometimes drawn to STP types, though they are often hesitant to start relationships with other S types, and romantic relationships between these types are unlikely to last long-term.


3. Pros of an ENFP-INFJ Relationship

  • The extroverted ENFP will appreciate the introverted INFJs incredible active-listening skills.
  • Their differing energy levels will balance each personality out—the ENFP will feel steadied and calmed by the INFJ, while the INFJ will appreciate the warmth and enthusiasm of the ENFP.
  • The INFJ will enjoy the ENFP's social leadership, benefiting from their outgoing nature to meet new friends they might normally be too shy to approach.
  • They will feed off each other's intellects and delight in discussing big-picture ideas and heady topics, especially if they share similar viewpoints.
  • INFJs provide welcome order and stability for spontaneously-natured ENFPs, while at the same time, ENFPs help INFJs let loose and see the fun in life.
  • Since both parties share the Feeling function, they are likely to be naturally affectionate with each other and show a warmth, sensitivity, and kindness that both partners will appreciate.
  • This shared function should also lead to a fairly harmonious relationship, as both parties will be attuned to their partner's needs and desires and do their best to meet them.

Challenges of an ENFP-INFJ Relationship

  • ENFPs may occasionally feel bored by the INFJ's quiet, introspective nature, while INFJs might feel ENFPs are too loud and resent their tendency to dominate the conversation.
  • Reconciling the respectively social and homebody natures of these two personality types can be difficult, and may lead to frustrations in situations where the couple needs to decide how to spend their free time.
  • Their combination of the ENFP's restlessness and the INFJ's tendency to turn inwards, household chores and the like may be neglected.
  • INFJs may feel ENFPs are too indecisive, while ENFPs may find INFJs to be too controlling. This can lead to conflict (which the INFJ tends to shy away from).
  • The strong mutual desire for harmony may compel both parties to bottle up negative feelings and avoid disagreements in an attempt not to introduce stress and discord into their relationship. Unfortunately, this will eventually backfire when these unhappy feelings overflow.

4. Why Are INFJs and ENFPs Attracted to Each Other?

Both the INFJ and ENFP will feel an instant attraction to each other because they both have pieces the other one desires.

Why INFJs Find ENFPs Attractive

ENFPs are primarily information gatherers but through extroverted intuition. To the INFJ, the ENFP talks in the way the INFJ takes in information. This is all very pleasing and creates an ESP effect.

Why ENFPs Find INFJs Attractive

The INFJ is more introspective and knows how to help the ENFP with their emotional growth. The INFJ knows how to encourage them and let them know it's okay to have dark thoughts, to be a little serious, and to have the crazy kind of depth. At the same time, ENFPs also delight in seeing others happy, which is why they love to pull INFJs out of their shell.

The INFJ may be surprised at just how much the ENFP actually craves time by themselves and melting with more independent creative ideas. The ENFP will also be surprised by the army of friends that the seemingly shy INFJ accumulates.

5. Why ENFPs and INFJs Work Well Together

It's likely that you will have a great deal in common just by being in the NF family. They're both well-liked people and sometimes struggle with people pleasing. They're family-centered and will put a lot of energy toward building and raising a family well. When they're both certain they want to stay with each other, they'll put less energy toward friends. They get emotionally motivated toward each other.

If both are mature in their functions, they'll be an incredible support system for each other. They may both struggle with their "S" (Sensing), however, which is down in the gutter.

Why INFJs Struggle With "Se," and How to Improve

For the INFJ, they need to express who they are in the physical realm in order to grow their Se (Extraverted Sensing) instead of only relying on intuition. If you only rely on intuition, it will be like having a super-powerful right arm with a gimpy, in-need-of-being-amputated left arm.

You can get in tune with your Sensing side by cooking, dancing, doing chores, pottery, hiking, etc.—anything that gets your body to move. Slow your mind down and be more conscious of what you're doing. This will help you become grounded in reality. You might not like it at first, but if you balance this out, you'll also have stronger intuition.

Why ENFPs Struggle With "Si," and How to Improve

As for the ENFP, you have Si (Introverted Sensing) at the bottom, which is introverted sensing. Si is one of the most difficult functions to understand and grow. It's not something the western world promotes, but the eastern world gets it. Si has to do with understanding the physical processes within.

You can do this through meditation, chakra balancing, praying, etc. Try spending time by yourself for 30 minutes and going through each part of your body and asking how it feels. Do this until the storm of intuition in your mind stops talking (both through your mouth and brain). If an ENFP refuses to take care of their Fi and Si for things they consider more fun, those qualities will stab them in the back.

Note: One of the best personalities you can learn about Si from is the ISFJ, who is dominated by introverted sensing and is similar enough to the INFJ that it won't drive an ENFP bonkers.


6. ENFP Characteristics

ENFPs are among the least judgmental and most inclusive of the MBTI personality types, and they love finding and cultivating the potential in others. Their Ne allows them to understand different points of view, and their Fi gives them a strong capacity for empathy. They're known for being open-minded and enthusiastic novelty-seekers. More than anything, ENFPs fear boredom and stagnation.

With extroverted intuition guiding them, they can see how things fit in at an advanced, macrocosmic level. You may drive an ENFP crazy with too many details and structure when what they really crave is openness, both in ideas and in their lifestyle.

Though they're skilled at looking at the big picture, ENFPs can also go all the way to the bottom with introverted sensing, where they must ask questions of their body, how it feels, why it feels the way it does. The more ENFPs can force themselves to better understand this, the more they'll grow and appreciate everything.

Struggles of an ENFP

ENFPs often feel a strong Fi-Si (Introverted Feeling-Introverted Sensing) loop that they can get stuck in. This can lead to anxiety, restlessness, and trouble sleeping. ENFPs can appear so scattered and frenetic that they are often misdiagnosed with ADD or ADHD.

The ENFP is the champion and always wants to involve people, spread ideas, and get things in motion. But they have a more introspective side that they don't always know how to convey (or whether they should convey it at all).


7. INFJ Characteristics

INFJs—who comprise just 1% of the population—are often considered "old souls." They feel happy and fulfilled when helping others, which they can do well thanks to their ability to look past people's façades and see their inner selves clearly.

They love deep conversations, which engage their Fe and Ni functions, and they're deeply concerned with quality and authenticity in all they do.

They love learning about what’s in this world, questioning what’s out there and how they can apply it to their value system, and testing the waters to see what resonates with them spiritually. You know you’re an INFJ 100% if you feel like a psychic to some degree — though this may make you feel like you don’t fit in with society.

Struggles of an INFJ

The INFJ wants to be understood and needs help coming out of their shell because they are the rarest personality type, making them feel constantly like their ideas and feelings don't fit in with the rest of the way the group feels.

INFJs often feel unheard and misunderstood by those around them, which can cause them to question their value in a world that appears indifferent to their insights. This, in turn, makes them more prone to depression than many other personality types.

The INFJ also struggles with being quiet because their dominant function is introverted intuition — their first objective is to process information introspectively. Until this hits their emotional center and they can translate the information empathetically, they tend to keep it to themselves.

Similarities Between ENFPs and INFJs

  • They're both religious and spiritual people, which is another reason they're drawn to each other.
  • Both are obsessed with people and gathering information about people because they're in the NF temperament.
  • Both of these personalities have unique social skills because the INFJ is the most social introvert and the ENFP is hyper social, but also in need of chill, quiet space.
  • They both have tendencies to be hippies. They want to play and create in the world, not be tied down to paying bills. These personalities need careers that make their passions shine, not necessarily their bank accounts. If they have the immediate things taken care of in their physical surroundings, they're happy campers. They need their fill when it comes to imagination and fantasy. (I suggest that they live in a space that doesn't require a lot of belongings, because less is more for them—and will keep them from going bankrupt.)

8. Friendships Between INFJs and ENFPs

Thanks to the complementary nature of their personalities, even if things don't work out romantically between these types, they're likely to remain close friends. The intellectual satisfaction that accompanies their interactions creates a deep bond between the two, and they truly bring out the best in each other.


9. How to Tell It's an INFJ-ENFP Connection

Those witnessing an ENFP and INFJ connection will probably be wondering why the heck the two are not together yet. Whether you’re looking at this relationship from the outside or you’re half of the pair, here are some quick ways to tell it’s an INFJ-ENFP connection.

  • Everything else and everyone else in the room disappears for these two. They’re so focused on sharing their inner worlds that everything else gets tuned out. They’re in their own little world — and it’s completely enthralling.
  • Hyperactive spontaneity. If you’re an INFJ and you think you’re not spontaneous, something isn’t right. INFJs love the random — it gives their introverted intuition a major jolt. The ENFP-INFJ pair will get into many spontaneous situations with little to no planning.
  • This combination of traits creates a powerful duo of jokesters. The ENFP starts the joke off, the INFJ comes in with the punchline, and they keep going with that energy.
  • They’ll stare at each other from afar. They like the connection, so they’ll keep checking on one another from afar when they can’t be right next to each other.
  • The two will plan to only spend a little bit of time with each other and then be together for an entire night . . . which is what they really wanted anyway.
  • The ENFP will chase the INFJ and the INFJ will make obstacles to see if the ENFP is truly set on them. An INFJ will literally find another prospective lover and say, “Don’t you want to talk to them?” And the ENFP will either say “no” or push that person away. The ENFP knows how to decide on a person, and the INFJ has to check to make sure there’s loyalty.
  • The ENFP will get louder and louder while the INFJ will get wittier and wittier.
  • Deep, sensual hugs. They can communicate without words and just convey it all in a hug.
  • They will serve others. They want to make sure those around them are okay. They make a perfect counseling team.
  • Don’t confuse the ENFP for only wanting to be around the herd. He wants the INFJ all to himself. It will be a noticeable goal.
  • The INFJ may be slow to the ENFP’s advances. Have patience . . . they’re likely to come around.
  • The two are both idiosyncratic. Both have rich inner lives. When they come across each other, they’re drawn to each other because of their vivid imaginations.
  • These are two of the most intelligent personalities. They occasionally try to hide their brains so they can fit into a group situation, but don’t be surprised if they jump in conversation from philosophy, religion, and math, to cartoons, UFOS, and unicorns.
  • They’re both dominated by information gathering — they express affection by large info dumps and seeing how all those dots can connect.
  • Creative expressions — late-night jams, dancing, pottery making, poetry reading, cooking, and painting.
  • You’ll see the INFJ be more comfortable than you’ve ever seen and more out of their shell. You’ll see the ENFP more balanced . . . and also insane.
  • They hate conflict, but they know how to resolve it with kindness over arrogance.
  • They seem like two giant big kids, somehow still innocent . . . yet also with the dirtiest minds you’ve ever come across.

Remember—The MBTI Personality Type Only Goes So Far

There's no hard-and-fast rule for which personality types should and shouldn't date, but certain pairings will naturally have an easier time navigating their relationship based on shared function pairings (i.e. two matching personality preferences or tendencies). While relationships with no function pair in common can still work, they often require both partners to put in far more effort simply to understand one another.

All that said, you shouldn't rule out dating someone you like simply because their MBTI type doesn't match up perfectly with yours, nor should you decide to date someone you're not terribly fond of just because theirs does. As long as both partners are committed to communicating openly and effectively and encouraging each other's personal growth, any relationship has a chance to thrive.


Questions & Answers

Question: I have seen many MBTI zodiac pairings you have written about. Can you tell me about INFJ Cancer women and an ENFP Aquarius men?

Answer: INFJ Cancer woman:

Emotionally powerful. Could be potentially manipulative, but could also be a very kind hearted person. The Cancer sign and extroverted-feeling function should be very loud. This person will likely be spiritual, charitable, and very feminine, if not motherly. The Cancer will strive to be the best it can be, but will feel it falls short. She tries too hard to be perfect. This is also a very intelligent person, but often misunderstood. They love deeply, sometimes showing too much of their heart, and other times being too quiet. Huge waves of emotion follow them everywhere. Sometimes they feel lonely.

ENFP Aquarius man:

An incredibly bright person who is also friendly. Just about everyone and their dog is going to like this man. As the ENFP he is the champion, but as the Aquarius, he also has an extra dosage of brains, wit, and sarcasm. This person will likely to do well in life, venturing into school and also being somewhat of a hippie. This is an incredibly open minded person, and he blesses the world through that.

Aquarius could potentially outgrow the Cancer. They may feel burdened by her. Aquarius could also potentially be highly attracted to her and forget everything else. If the Cancer is creative, Aquarius will likely stay longer. Cancer is looking for devotion and something deep.

© 2015 Andrea Lawrence


Lyna on August 25, 2020:

Can you tell me more on gemini ENFP and capricorn INFJ compatibility

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on June 01, 2020:

The INFJ and ENFP combo is already good. For more information on Aquarius and Scorpio, I have a couple of articles.

Hanie on May 24, 2020:

Can you tell me about INFJ scorpio women and ENFP aquarius man?

Aaron on April 17, 2020:

Wall-E (INFJ) meets EVA (ENFP)

Laura on April 13, 2020:

I am an INFJ aries womand with a ENFP gemini man, how compatible?

ENTP F on March 26, 2020:

How about ENTP/INFJ relationships? I’m an ENTP f, and most of my life I’ve been drawn like crazy to either infjs or intjs...

Dims on March 22, 2020:

This is so accurate to me. I am a ENFP Aries woman and my partner is a INFJ Sagittarius man. Before I met him I used to love being by myself and had doubts about everyone, or I would just get bored and move on to the next one. But when I met him.. I felt an instant connection, at first I thought it was just me, but the feeling was mutual and after all these years there isn't anyone else I'd rather be with. Maybe its a coincidence but its very accurate one.

georgie on February 27, 2020:

thanks a lot it was fun reading it & very accurate..

I’m an INFJ cancer sun with capricorn moon and my crush is ENFP Taurus with Pisces Moon. Our (not yet existent) relationship grows. How can i tell if he likes me ? I’ve been too suspicious over a few things and that kind of destroyed my feeling for the reality to actually see through him and it makes me sick..

AZ16ki on August 06, 2019:

How compatible is a Capricorn ENFP man and each of these INFJ women: Cancer, Leo and Virgo?

Mario R. on July 20, 2019:

Question(s) about MBTI zodiac paring. Male Virgo INFJ/INTJ and Female Aries ENFP, how compatible are they and what should be looked for to making they pairing work and last?

infj female on July 20, 2019:

No. I do not like enfp as parterner. maybe friend is OK. they are drama kings.

the best match for me is infp/ infj.

Abdel Es (INFJ) on June 26, 2019:

How can I improve my relationship with my gf who is an ENFP

Cloud7 on June 18, 2019:

I'm an INFJ Cancer woman. My husband is an ENFP Capricorn. I never felt completely comfortable around anyone in my life until I met him. It was an instant vibe. 17 years and it keeps getting better.

Leslie G on June 14, 2019:

This article is so accurate! I am an INFJ woman who has recently started to get to know an ENFP man and the descriptions of both of us are on point!!

Jessica Born on May 01, 2019:

Great article - many little quips made me laugh. I am an ENFP and my boyfriend is an INFJ. This helps me understand that I may not have a personality problem (I've always been a touch dramatic and impulsive) - it's probably just an ENFP thing. This article describes us both with about 98% accuracy; however, he pursued me in college, not the other way around. I had him stuck in the friend zone for many years - but I considered him my best friend. I was always attracted to more arrogant/selfish people and Mike was just too nice. After many bad relationships, I realized what I wanted more than anything was someone who had empathy - because I feel such deep empathy for people and I realized the types of guys I was getting into relationships with, could care less about other people. It made getting along really hard. When Mike and I reconnected, it's like a big lightbulb went off, and I's a guy who has loved me for many years, who I can talk to all night long and into the next day, and who feels deeply compassionate towards others. I love him! We're now going on our 3rd year together after about 13 years of friendship.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on January 02, 2019:

Glad to know I wrote something so spot on. ;)

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on January 02, 2019:

Why thank you, I love to hear that.

Anh Jana Nguyen on January 01, 2019:

This is so accurate

David on December 14, 2018:

I am the INFJ and nowadays single, but I feel the article is really accurate. When I remind myself the women I ve met in my life. The most attractive were the most adventurous types of women, a bit hippe, and with many interests. They were just naturally beautiful by the energy they were sharing with others. They usually tend to have a looooots of friends and I think they were growing up among the boys (like having the brothers only, so they used to climb on the trees more than playing with the dolls)

Loliloda on November 15, 2018:

This is my husband and me 1000%. I'm the INFJ and he's the ENFP. It was love at first sight 13 years ago. We declared our love and discussed getting married the night we met -- and now here we are with two kids and #3 on the way. We are both artists and when we met it was like the entire world around us disappeared. People around us were a little weirded out by the intensity of our connection. We still share a wonderful deep intuitive empathy and bizarre mutual sense of humor. We are ultra focused on our family. We both need to do "real world" activities that ground us, and we struggle with clutter if we allow too much stuff into our living space. I have helped him with his emotional self-awareness, organization, and strategizing. He has helped me to be more gentle, flexible, and "big picture" with myself. Despite coming from different geographic and cultural backgrounds, we have managed to work slowly and diligently through our differences with kindness and patience and our marriage is rock-solid. Thanks for writing this article, it was really fun to see so much of ourselves reflected in it. :)

ENFP on September 24, 2018:

This past summer, I started worked with an INFJ (not confirmed, but I’m highly suspicious). I slowly realized that I had a crush on him so I started texting him. We would talk every single night until we finally crashed around 2AM—ruined my sleep schedule but it was worth it. I’d never pursued anyone I was interested in before, but I couldn’t resist with him. We’d talk about everything, from space to writing ridiculous stories about our boss to psychology to our own complex pasts. Finally, the summer was about to end, and all we’d ever done was text. We’d joked about hanging out (and dating) so I decided to let him know I was serious. He picked me up. After hours of nonstop talking, we fell silent. He kissed me underneath the stars. He told me after he’d sworn to himself earlier he wouldn’t kiss me, as I was 4 years younger than him, but he couldn’t resist. The next week was probably the best of my life. The last night we spent together, I realized I loved him. 3 hours later, I left for college 3,000 miles away. I am still deeply in love with him. He doesn’t know. We talk every day, but it’s different than how it was. But I’ll be home in two months, and the last words he said to me were “I’ll see you”. I really hope he’s right. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love him and I can’t imagine ever loving anyone as much.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on July 19, 2018:

Ah! I'm so happy for you that things worked out.

TLChace on July 13, 2018:

I'm a hardcore INFJ. Met an ENFP, didn't know it at first, and we were inseparable (just over email/text even). When we met for the first time it was fireworks and we knew we belonged together instantly. I moved 1,200 miles to be with him. Best decision of my life. This article was our relationship to a T.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on June 07, 2018:

YOU SHOULD! Well, if it all works out and makes sense to you. Best of luck to you.

Gina Terry on June 06, 2018:

I'm an INFJ and my best friend Michael is an ENFP and we just found out about our compatibility. We're dying about how accurate this entire thing is. If we're both single when we're both done going to school on opposite ends of the country, I'm marrying that man!

aljazi on May 31, 2018:

my friend INTJ and me ENFP

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on April 13, 2018:

ENFP men are everywhere! You'll find them in creative arts, anthropology, leading volunteer work. They live to be in the heart of projects.

Ronnie on April 13, 2018:

Seems just perfect. Too bad that with my dearest ENFP we never really got all of it; our contact ended sadly just after there was finally chance for something more. Still hoping to meet more of these lovely ENFP men in the future, though :)

Nin on March 24, 2018:

Where can I find my IFNJ Guy? Lol!

INFJ & ENFP on March 16, 2018:

Only took us13 days of being insepperable to realize we had fallen for each other then we went unicorn hunting!

Julia on February 21, 2018:

I just found my INFJ guy and I’m an ENFP. There was an instant connection between us, and your article was so helpful in understanding why. Thanks so much!

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on February 02, 2018:

You can find an ENFP at any stage of life! Good luck!

Romy on January 29, 2018:

I think I found my ENFP a bit too late in life. I'd love to experience this kind of relationship though.. let's see.

Katrina Marie Miller on January 21, 2018:

This is the best write ever, so accurate! Loved the Robin Williams/Billy Crystal videos!!! Great job!!

Katrina Marie Miller on January 11, 2018:

Great work!! Love it!!

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on January 04, 2018:

I've noticed a lot of people supporting INTJ and ENFP, when I actually think INFJ and ENFP make more sense. There's a kind of hippie emotional surplus from the two that's intoxicating. INTJ brings out a different side in ENFP.

millionthAnonym on December 26, 2017:

Good and precise description!

Thanks for speaking for this awesome pairing.

Everyone in the MBTI community seem to focus on INTJ x ENFP and ENTP x INFJ too much and overestimate these pairings.

A lot of people would disagree in this and I don't want to sound arrogant by saying this, but I personally think that the INFJ + ENFP match should be seen as a slightly better pairing.

Anthony on October 30, 2017:

Too true. I'm an ENFP and my friend is an INFJ. We started to become friends about three months ago, because I approached him a few times and each time he would be quiet. Then we just kept running into each other. We plan to only spend a few hours hanging out and then it turns into an entire night of gas station food and driveway conversations until 4 in the morning. Everything is this article is 100% accurate.

I would go as far to say I view him as my best friend. Like no one has ever been my total opposite yet exactly what I needed at the same time. I help him out because I kind of push him along and he helps me not overly stress. He knows when my anxiety flares up and how to talk me down, he knows when i'm not doing okay and knows how to make me laugh with ease. I know when he is sad or needs an ear and we just work. Ying and yang. I'm incredibly grateful to have him in my life as a friend.

Ian on October 19, 2017:

- Where do I find an ENFP guy?

hahahahaahaha we are rare, aren't we :D. Well but we do exist.

Hint: you might have seen us at parties and decided that we are show offs . But if you look closer you will find out that we are just very nice honest folks.

If you accept us you will find that we are more likely to spend time with you than anyone else on that party. Just keep looking at us and we will eventually say something, well anything.

Once us ENFPs find out that actually like, or generally love people we love you - easy as that.

I'm dating an INFJ atm - well kind of dating. It's really difficult for me, that's why I like her I guess. She is so warm, the feeling is insane - I adore her. I think I'm on a secret mission here, I want to find out how it is to drink coffee at her place. But she moves so sllllllllooooooooowwwwwww. I mean it like seriously. Two steps forwards two steps backwards, it's like a dance.

Well anyways enjoying my time with her and I'm very sure she is enjoying hers with me. If things don't work out I am actually glad I met her anyways. I used to not bother enough with the shy ones, but they are great. The bad thing is I still neeed that coffee.

Thank you author, your article is a really good read and it gives hope - who knows what the future holds.

deb on October 09, 2017:

so this is exactly my bf and I.

anoninfjmous on October 07, 2017:

Where do I find an ENFP guy?

Guest on October 07, 2017:

Interesting, I've experience some of these things with other personality types but not all of them. I'm not sure I've ever met an ENFP. I would like to.

Thatonegirl on October 06, 2017:

This has been one of my favorite articles. I finally found my INFJ and this article could not be more accurate! Had us laughing after I shared it with him. Thank you!!

Stevie on August 20, 2017:

This was great! I'm an ENFP female and my husband is an INFJ male. This analysis fit us perfectly. It's spooky hilarious.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on August 17, 2017:

WHOAAAA! Stop the train!

You've got to work on your confidence. You're way down in the gutter being hard on yourself, and that's got to stop. You need to take care of yourself and your self-perceptions before you get into a healthy relationship. And also, you are young. Dating in college is often only the beginning. Don't get so preoccupied by one person to the point that it makes you go down this dark spiral. I'm sure this is a lovely man and you can get to know him better. You don't want to focus so much on someone who isn't available. He can't be available to your needs. You'll find love one way or another, and you don't have to be in an arranged marriage. And you're being Catholic doesn't condemn you. What you need is some positivity. Work on what makes you shine, do some pampering, give yourself some self-love. Men are much more attracted to women who appear positive than give off a negative vibe. Work on your vibe and you'll have a way better chance of attracting someone. Again, you're young. You have time to figure these things out. Don't be so down in the dumps acting like your life will never reach what it needs to reach. Be thankful for what you have.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on August 06, 2017:

Glad to know it worked for you! ENFP and INFJ types are a great deal of fun.

Frodo on August 05, 2017:

Loved reading and discovering all this. I'm an INJF myself, and can resonate on all levels! This article on the other hand explains all the crazy and beautiful friends i have in my life....

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on August 02, 2017:

Ah, I love when my advice helps.

Lonisha on July 31, 2017:

Well thanks for your advice. It helped.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on July 31, 2017:

Don't be too hard on yourself. A negativity spiral does nothing for you. Work on loving yourself from the inside out and you'll attract someone who is doing the same.

Lonisha on July 30, 2017:

Because of all of this experience with the guy I mentioned above, I feel like I don't deserve to be pursued by an ENFP guy. I feel like being an INFJ is a curse. I don't feel like a normal human being. I hate

Lonisha on July 29, 2017:

I am sorry, I accidentally posted this two times. I thought my first post did not get through.

Lonisha on July 28, 2017:

So I took a personality test a month ago and found put that I am an INFJ female.

Things have been crazy so far for me. I relocated to Houston,TX two months ago since my dad got a job there. Plus I had to transfer to another college in Houston and I will be starting my second year of college there as a transfer student next month.

The thing is, I am very good friends with this awesome guy who I went to my old college with back in Chicago. He seems like he is an ENFP since he seems to fit the description of an ENFP.

So, I met him during a drama club audition, which happened during my 2nd semester of my college freshman year. I developed strong feelings for him as I got to know him during drama club. I felt like we both had shared interests and I was able to connect with him. He is such a sweet, optimistic, and a fun loving guy. Everyone loves being around him and he has a huge friend group.

One problem is I felt little of jealous of Mutaz when I saw him dating someone else. It is soo stupid of me. I am only his friend. Also we are both of different religions since he is a Muslim and I am a devout Catholic so an interfaith relationship won't work out since they are short lived.

I felt like the whole world was falling apart because I can't be the one for Mutaz and he is taken. I was sad when I saw how they two happily joke around with each other and made deep connections with each other and things can never be that way between me and him. I felt soo anxious and worried about this that I lost my sleep over this. Is it normal to feel this way? Is there anything wrong with me?

I also miss seeing him everyday ever since I moved to Houston. He also misses me and told me that he will never stop being my friend.

Because of this, I also feel like I will end up in an arranged marriage . I will never find the guy I am looking for and remain single forever. My parents will just marry me off to some stranger and expect me to be a servant for him and his family.I feel like that is my fate.

I feel like I never ever deserved to be with someone as awesome as him because I am a devout Catholic, because I was born in India, and because I have an autistic brother. All I deserve is to be chopped into pieces and fed to the hyenas because I wanted to be with an awesome ENFP guy like him and have a love marriage.

I even wish that I was never myself so things could have worked out better. I am ashamed of being who I am. I wish I was someone else.

Sometimes I felt like one of the unluckiest girl in the world because I can't be with an awesome ENFP guy like him. My heart realized this and learned this bitter lesson.

I came to the conclusion that no ENFP guy will ever want to pursue a girl like me. I don't deserve to be pursued by an ENFP guy. Anyways a relationship with an ENFP will be short-lived and most likely end in divorce in the future.

Lonisha on July 27, 2017:

I took a personality test a month ago and found out that I was INFJ but I am not for sure if it is accurate.

So things have been crazy so far for me. I had to move from Chicago,IL to Houston,TX since my dad got a job there. Plus I have to transfer to another college in Houston and will be starting my second year there as a transfer student.

The thing is, I am very good friends with this awesome guy who I went to college with back in Chicago during my first year of college. He is an ENFP and he does fit the description of an ENFP. I met him during a drama club audition. I got to know him during drama club and I was able to make a connection with him since we had some shared interests. I developed strong feelings for him even though we are only friends. He is such a nice, sweet, optimistic, and a fun loving guy. Everyone loves being around him and he is approachable.

I miss seeing him everyday ever since I moved to Houston. He also misses me too and assured me that he will never stop being my friend and won't forget me.

One problem is I felt little of jealous of him when I saw him dating someone else. It is soo stupid of me. I am only his friend. Also we are both of different religions since he is a Muslim and I am a devout Catholic so an interfaith relationship won't work out since they are short lived.

I felt like the whole world was falling apart because I can't be the one for him and he is already taken. I was sad when I saw how they two happily joke around with each other and made deep connections with each other and things can never be that way between me and him. I felt soo anxious and worried about this that I lost my sleep over this . Is it normal to feel this way? Is there anything wrong with me?

Because of this, I also feel like I will end up in an arranged marriage. I will never find the guy I am looking for and remain single forever. My parents will just marry me off to some stranger and expect me to be a servant for him and his family. Or I will just end up in a convent. I feel like that is my fate.

I feel like I never ever deserved to be with an awesome ENFP guy like him because I am a devout Catholic, because I was born in India, and because I take care of my autistic brother. All I deserve is to be chopped into pieces and fed to the hyenas because I wanted to be with someone like him and have a love marriage.

I even wish that I was never myself so things could have worked out better with him. I am ashamed of being who I am. I wish I was someone else.

I feel like in general I never ever deserved to be with an awesome ENFP guy like him. Sometimes, I started to feel like I am one of the unluckiest girl in the world because I can't be with an awesome guy like him. I feel this way in my heart. I started to carry this in my mind.I don't think an ENFP guy will ever want to pursue a girl like me and our relationship will be short- lived anyways. There is no way it will ever happen! My heart just learned this bitter lesson.

Mom-of on July 25, 2017:

"I am an INFJ-T & my husband is an ENTJ-T. Just recently found out about each other's personality through MBTI test. We are indeed perfect for each other. I love him to the moon and back. His ideals and dreams really matches mine."

Sorry about my last post, I meant my husband is an ENFP-T. Anyway, thank you for this. This article made my day. I even showed this article to him. We were both thrilled.

Rose on July 24, 2017:

I'm ina long term relationship with my boyfriend I have known for a while that I am an INFJ but I just convinced him to take the test. He is an ENFP and this describes our relationship perfectly.

Anonymous on July 24, 2017:

I am an INFJ-T & my husband is an ENTJ-T. Just recently found out about each other's personality through MBTI test. We are indeed perfect for each other. I love him to the moon and back. His ideals and dreams really matches mine.

Hell no. on July 23, 2017:

Infj here. I find enfps to be intolerable flakes with low standards. AVOID.

Pele on July 23, 2017:

I am a enfp and I met a lady that is an infj. Everything said here about them is true. We can be together for very long in silence and when we discuss it is as if she is the modt intelligent lady in the world. She knows a little of almost everything. She understands my demon and monstrous dreams that scares me and asures me that it is not strange i am like that. We tend to understand each other and i respect and love her so much. But I am confused about her love because she has not said anything. Her words are ash and soothing at same time. Should i be patient with her? What is your advice?

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on July 01, 2017:

Excellent. Love to hear that.

James on June 29, 2017:

I am an INFJ and my wife is an ENFP. This sums us up to a tee!

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on June 18, 2017:

I'm glad you have such a strong sister by your side. That can make all the difference.

Mandy on June 17, 2017:

I am an infj and my sister is an enfp. I can't even begin to describe the connection we have always had. We didn't fight even though we were siblings and only 2 years apart. We shared friends and enjoyed it. She can talk me down fro. The edge of suicide and I make her think in more profound and witty ways. We both know what we have in each other. There is no time depend together that we consider wasted. Even driving her to umc while she's in pain, we still spent 3.5 hours laughing together about the most ridiculous things. I have been misunderstood by everyone my entire life, including my family. But I know there is a reason I was given my sister. She is the reason I am still here today.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on May 25, 2017:

Sounds like an excellent pair. ;)

Random INTP person on May 24, 2017:

so, I created these two fictional characters a while ago and decided to take the test for them a year later just to see what they would be just for fun.

Then, I tried to look up their compatibility just for fun.

They were an ENFP and INFJ.

This description is scary accurate to how the characters are in a fictional story I made up for fun.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on May 22, 2017:

Word of advice, INFJ likes to be pursued. They can be really awkward putting themselves out there, and it can feel unnatural. Some are better at it than others. They are total unicorns, that is for sure. They definitely enjoy the company of the ENFP. And likely are looking for such a person.

ENFP on May 22, 2017:

I am an ENFP guy with and INFJ fiancee. We have been together for over 10 years. We broke up for about a year early in our relationship. Neither of us had done Myers Briggs test or counseling, we were young and fresh out of bad relationships. We both though, greener grass.... Oh were we wrong.

In a very INFJ moment she invited me to her house to just hang and be friends again. That lasted about 15 minutes. We were both hungry for that connection again both the physical and mental. No one else we had dated even came close.

For ENFPs out there missing a connection with an INFJ. I feel for you. It's like tasting 50 year old scotch(if you're into scotch) Then being told they only made 1 bottle you'll have to wait another 50 years. INFJs are luckier, ENFPs are only an 18 year scotch and they made plenty.

If you're an INFJ wanting(needing) to snag an ENFP it's easy. If they are unaware of the connection, educate them. We adore learning, and new concepts. Break out of your shell for us and make the 1st move. We'll be fascinated. Especially if you are a female INFJ trying to attract a male ENFP.

Greatness does not equal ease. The INFJ will press you to maturity and responsibility, but you'll find it's to make the creative spontaneity more sustainable, and productive so trust your INFJ, even when you don't want to hear it, let them ground you at times. Trust your ENFJ to do no harm if they really love you they would die a thlusand deaths for you,earn to accept that and not test too much or too harshly. The Heisenberg uncertainty principle pertains to love as well. Be equally ready to run iff on a crazy adventure sith your ENFP, you'll never regret it.

When you fall onto a rough patch remember, if you are an ENFP with an INFJ, it does not get any better than this. Press in, be open, be honest, and value the rare gift the INFJ is to you as an ENFP. You found the 1%er, the unicorn. Yes she has a spike and she will stick it on your butt cheek, but only when she is scared that you're about to screw up really big and she knows she will fix it for you because she's too in love not to.

If you are an ENFP that is being pursued (oh lucky you) or in pursuit of an INFJ, don't let them get away!!! Do whatever it takes. If you are an ENFP that is distancing from an INFJ, get your head out of your ass, they are the ONE. Rarely will you even meet one, much less have a 2nd chance at a romance with another one.

Statistically most of us ENFPs will not end up with an INFJ. Don't even look at mine, I keeel you!

Emily gonyou on May 05, 2017:

WOW!! I recently started dating this guy and I'm an INFJ and he is an ENFP. reading through this, it literally sounds exactly like us! With some of the signs, I read them and I could recall at least five different instances where that characteristic came out between us. I guess, being an INFJ and always being critical of myself, I always worry that people are judging me. Is that something that I need to worry about with an ENFP, or can I be pretty sure that he will be accepting?

MR on April 30, 2017:

I'm a INFJ and my ex childhood girlfriend is a ENFP. Although we are not together anymore we keep in touch and going to movies and coffees.

She will always be my best friend and I think i will always love her. We can't stand being apart of each other

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on March 30, 2017:

I am so glad that this resonates with you! It makes me feel good as a writer and a consultant that these hubs jive with people and come off accurate. That's always a plus for me. I hope things continue to go well in your relationship and your endeavors.

Aundrea on March 27, 2017:

Reading through this is like going back through my relationship with my husband and seeing glimpses of our past. This describes us to a T, and makes me smile from the inside out. :) I am the INFJ and he is the ENFP. When we met it was an instant connection and maybe it's the combination of what makes us similar and what makes us different that keeps us harmoniously together. I cracked up when it said that we have tendencies to be hippies because I can totally see that. Haha. Also, the spontaneity thing is right on. I thought that was my mother's influence, but come to find out, it's part of my nature. :) I loved reading through this. It has been a great reminder of all of the good things that I have in our relationship. :)

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on March 11, 2017:

Thank you! Always love hearing about happy relationships.

ezmh93 on March 09, 2017:

I discovered Myers Briggs yesterday and feel like it's the most accurate personality test I've come across. I'm an ENFP and have been with my partner for 5 years. He is an INFJ! Seems like we were pretty fortunate to stumble across each other! I really enjoyed reading this.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on March 04, 2017:

I love to hear that! I hope things go well.

ENFP on March 01, 2017:

This is really accurate!!! I am actually dating an INFJ and it is the best relationship I have ever had. It truly does feel like we were made for each other and bring out the best in the others personality.

on February 22, 2017:

Just found this article after finding out my SO's type. I'm an INFJ, he's an ENFP, and although the whole internet-validating-my-relationship thing is sort of silly, this is actually very accurate. I'd quite like to keep my ENFP forever.

Flora on February 12, 2017:

Thanks for the article. I was wondering whether I was INFJ or ENFP. Turns out I am the one being hyper inside my head! :)

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on February 11, 2017:

Hmmm... Perhaps I should write a hub on how to find ENFP folk.

Mehlol on February 11, 2017:

I am a male INFJ and the bitter part of adult romance for me is that all of the ENFPs seem to be taken. With two ENFP friends, I feel the connection, I feel more open, like I belong. I just can't take advantage of it.

Discouraged, but not down for the count, I guess is how I look at it.

Aiman Z. on February 10, 2017:

No wonder me and she have a lot of connection and special bonds. We were kinda close back then, but now on she wanted to make time and focus for herself and her academics. We are still friends, It is okay for me, as long as I know and understad what she want and I believe that she is loyal and still having feelings for me. I really hope that one day we will get back together forever and everrrr when we are ready for the relationships.

Thankyou for the post.

Anonymous on February 02, 2017:

my INFJ does know i have had some feelings however, my INFJ has never directly told me directly what on their mind.

Also, knowing the more i push about it the more my INFJ will become withdrawn. So i never really brought up the matter again. Hence never directly asked my INFJ if any feelings are present.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on February 01, 2017:

Have you ever talked about this to your friend? INFJ are good at masking themselves, whether they realize it or not.

Anonymous on January 31, 2017:

I am an ENFP and i have a INFJ friend for 6 years now. I totally could relate to what you said about the ENFP as that's what i feel all the time.

However, it can be pretty hard to read my INFJ as idk what's on their mind. Also my INFJ sees our friendship as platonic although as an ENFP i feel there can be so much more to it.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on January 14, 2017:

Glad to be of service!

Paul on January 13, 2017:

I'm an ENFP and my girlfriend of 4yrs, baby momma, soon to be wife, is as an INFJ. We always knew that we were a perfect match for each other. Everything that this article says is totaly on point especially the esp part. Unbelievable!

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on December 28, 2016:

Good luck for your journey in finding the right mate! Always remember to love yourself.

Justin on December 22, 2016:

Well I am an ENFP and have been looking for someone to date\marry and this all looks great. Thanks for writing this article because now I know where I might start...and hopefully end in a relationship. This is the kind of connection I have always felt was out there somewhere and possible, but never quite experienced it. Thanks!

SkipINFJ on December 13, 2016:

Idealistically, I believe I'd want to befriend/date another INFJ, particularly one who understands personality psychology and engages it. I would shy away from Thinkers and Perceivers in general. Just the fact that ENTP is classified as "The Debater" is a red flag for me. It's a personality I might engage for a particular task, but not one I think I'd enjoy meaningful conversation with. Age could have something to do with it. At 55, my tastes have changed and many things have mellowed and/or continue to mellow. I've become very protective of my space and energy because I am more aware of its value. I need to be with people I can exchange good energy with, not someone who will drain me and then attempt to "save me" by getting me "out there" with this crowd or that one.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on December 13, 2016:

You would definitely be the oddball here, but that's okay. An oddball INFJ is probably what we all need! Who would you say you prefer and why? How do you feel about an ENTP?

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on December 13, 2016:

Hmmm... interesting. This hub has actually been taken over by the Hub Pages editing staff. I might give myself a reminder to read through it and see if they might have gotten confused while editing.

SkipINFJ on December 06, 2016:

This isn't the first resource I've read stating that INFJs and ENFPs are "perfect for each other." I'm a definite INFJ, and in my personal history, there is no type that is more challenging for me to be around than an ENFP. It is so much work and so draining that I could not imagine dating an ENFP. Apparently, I'm the oddball here, but that unusual for me.

CC on December 05, 2016:

Thanks for the post/article but can you pleeeeassseeee attend to the grammatical errors? This text is replete with errors and it detracts from the writer's credibility. Sorry, just want you to have a chance at gaining a wider following!

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on December 05, 2016:

Wow. You have an epic romance going on here. You guys are falling in love across borders, religions, I assume just about everything. I really hope it all works out for you.

Francesca on December 05, 2016:

Thank you for the great post. Im an ENFP and my bf is INFJ. And the description fits us really well. He is an spontaneous INFJ and im an ENFP who do value my alone time.

True enough, we are on an LDR. I live in the Philippines and he lives in Paris. We both created our lives separately before we met. We have our own professions and different religions. Its true INFJ craves for information, though he may be conservative with religion - i dont think so too! Our future plans together, involves travelling and living away from our respective countries - I know we will make ends meet with God's support. :)

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on November 23, 2016:

Ah, I'm so glad this resonated with you. Best of luck to you!

Ed on November 22, 2016:

Im an INFJ gay male and my boyfriend is an ENFP and this is totally us to the T! This was such a pleasure to read and even made me laugh when I could think of specific events that correlated to some of the examples.

HeroineOlympus on October 17, 2016:

I´m myself an INFJ with an ENFP boyfriend and I´m really happy about all these informations. I just wanted to say thank you.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on October 04, 2016:

1. INFJ and ENFP are dominated by intuition. There are four functions each personality gets, and each get weighted a little more differently. This is what defines the personality, essentially. INFJ and ENFP are not the only personalities dominated by intuition -- so are INTJ and ENTP. INFJ and ENFP are the only intuitive based personalities guided by feeling. This can make them kind of weird and insightful about people and more abstract ideas. These two connect really well because of this dynamic.

2. Extroversion and introversion are not as important when it comes to chemistry as the functions themselves. If you put any people together with a similar dominate function, this will be helpful to chemistry -- and INFJ and ENFP are in that category. Also, they have the same temperament, they come from the NF family along with the ENFJ and INFP. The way they process information and the flow of it is quite natural to them and that can make for some automatic chemistry.

3. There are other types that get along this well with the INFJ. The next best would be ENTP which also is dominated by extroverted intuition, like the ENFP. INFJ also does well with those in the same temperament, INFP and ENFJ. There is a theory that an ISTJ could have a similar effect since it technically is an upside down ENFP -- it has all the same functions, but is backwards in its order.

4. ENFP will need time for introspection. It is a loud personality and loves all the action around it -- but it does need time to be by itself and think, mull over thoughts, and do what might look more like introverted habits. It especially needs time to think by itself to process its emotions.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on October 04, 2016:


Have you tried marital counseling with your husband or addressed the problems with him? Divorce isn't easy to process, and will be a lot more work than you are expecting. You may have a great connection with this person, but it won't be an easy road. There will be difficulty. Focus on what needs to happen in your marriage, why you married in the first place, and what you can do to reconcile it.

Phoebe on October 02, 2016:

I have just read this personality thing since my daughter did it and it is so accurate. I'm an ENFP. My husband is completely opposite- this is no surprize to me as we have hit heads walls etc our entire marriage. I've become very submissive as its the only way to have peace and some joy. Lately though I'm like trying to fill myself with something, anything to feel alive. I have recently started a new job were I am completely happy. That's just the beginning. One of my work colleages hit me like a firework -as I heard his voice or heard footsteps before I knew it was him - my insides would just egnight to nearly explode. He was not my usual type on the outside and to be honest he didn't even look at me when I was first introduced. He trained me a fair bit for my new position. The first day I feel training i was hopping we'd get along ..but not expect how fast and ridiculously well we did get on. I was so open, more than usual., to him straight away, my dirty humour was out to play and he reciprocated straight away - we both love and appreciate music and even sang in front of each other - underneath this egnighting firework thing was going on for me . This quick deep connection has not happened to me since I was single about 30 years ago. I found him so attractive, physically but his beautiful soft nature just melted me away. I didn't want to admit it but I started to fall for him. I wanted to believe we could be the greatest of friends. The connection was so magnetic. He happened to ask me what personality I was and he told me his. I had not puto alot into it as just wasn't thinking like that at that time - but as weeks went on our almost spell like attraction just grew . So I read the ENFP and INFJ and it was wow to say the least. I can see how we are so connected and I do feel like writing just slot right in with each other. It makes sence..the strongest of connection that we have. He definatly doesn't give away as much as me but he has told me he thinks and feels the same. I have a partner though and I do have that strongly loyal streak. I'm not happy- and haven't been for a long time and neither has my husband. My work colleages is single. Such a beautiful man. Nothing has happened except words and 2 hugs which I was so content with. It's not a fair situation for him or my husband. I'm hoping somehow I can keep a great friendship with my work colleage and not real happy about staying with my husband. Ifor I could just pick up and go and follow my heart - I would go start a new life, date my work colleage and experience a whole new level of love and acceptance . I do think we would make a perfect pairing EFNP AND INFJ

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