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How to Text an INFJ

Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.

INFJ texters are elusive, mysterious, and random. They have many witty and charming things to say. They can sometimes be aloof and leave you in the dust.

INFJ texters are elusive, mysterious, and random. They have many witty and charming things to say. They can sometimes be aloof and leave you in the dust.

Mysterious Texting

The INFJ has a knack for the art of mysterious texting. You probably won’t grasp all the complexities of their well-crafted texts. INFJ types are usually strong writers. In fact, many of the most well-known authors are INFJs. Texting with this type can be confusing, whether you’re an acquaintance, friend, or romantic partner.

An INFJ will text you in secret codes. They are not the most upfront or blunt people, generally speaking. They like to take their time when it comes to crafting a connection.

Romantically, INFJ can come off warm, sweet, and caring, but they can simultaneously come off cold, aloof, and vague. They are friendly toward you, yes, but you might not know if they are interested in dating you.

If you want to date an INFJ, take it slow, and show them they can trust you. This type is generally intelligent and looking for a long-term relationship. They like to have chats about random things. They are great listeners. They like to know how you feel. You might receive novel long texts from them.

When an INFJ likes someone, they will consistently text that person back. Often INFJs prefer that someone pursues them rather than putting themselves out there. They feel like people often don’t get their advances. This type can also take rejection more personally.

It helps them out a lot if you lead the way to romance… they like to follow, reciprocate, and adjust. Don’t get me wrong, INFJs are leaders, they just like to play a pattern of weirdness and mysteriousness when it comes to romance.

INFJ likes to text someone once they figure out that the person is on the same wavelength as them. They may like texting morning, afternoon, and night. You should expect your texts to get weirder and more random. Their texts won’t necessarily be flat-out flirtatious. Their texts will more than likely confuse you.

They’ll use texting to build creative stories with you. Texting is a collaborative activity to them. They like to make people laugh, and they are attracted to funny people. Their natural partner is ENFP, a type known for their sporadic and humorous quirks. INFJs like big warm personalities; it’s helpful when they have more introverted and mystical personalities, which often elude others.

An INFJ will send you a ton of texts once there is momentum. In the beginning stages, they may take a while to text back. Why? INFJ people tend to have insanely social lives or gigantic imaginative worlds to deal with in their heads. They work well in a number of circles and are involved in a number of places while also still maintaining an introverted air. How do they do this? Because introverts love ideas, and the most interesting ideas to INFJ are people.

INFJ, when it comes to the extroversion-introversion scale lands somewhere closer to the middle. They're not as introverted as other types.

Key Takeaways: They might not want to text you a whole lot at the beginning of a new friendship because it seems like an obligation that they would have to add to all their other social responsibilities. If you do well to create an engaging, entertaining, and thought-provoking texting spread — you’ll get the INFJ to eventually text you more than you text them. They’re a moth to the flame when it comes to whimsical, fun, and off-the-wall texting.

Analyzing Everything

As excellent writers and listeners, INFJS are also great readers. They can analyze anything. They can read between the lines. In fact, when they like someone, they are constantly reading them to see what kind of person they are, why they are functioning the way they do, and their overall intent. INFJ types are great at counseling and understanding social connections.

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When you send them a text, they’ll consider what you’ve written, the time of day, your level of interest, why you’re interested in them, how long they expect that interest to last, and if any of it is sincere. With consistency you can show the INFJ you are sincere.

Important: INFJ wants to be charming, not cheesy or inauthentic. They want to be unusual, not normal or boring. They want to be themselves, not an act or performance that isn’t them. They are genuine people looking for a genuine person that makes sense to them.


INFJ is a great friend to have when it comes to texting. They’ll read your texts with a great amount of sincerity. They’re great at instantly understanding a social situation and, even more, they’ll give you their advice and let you decide what you want to do with their advice.

INFJ will text you to hang out with them, they’ll make you laugh, and they’ll check in to see how you’re doing. The INFJ likes to build strong connections with specific people. They make an army of friends quite naturally, whether they want to admit it or not. Once an INFJ is cool with themselves and has good self-esteem, they’ll start making friends pretty quick.

Sometimes INFJ has to deal with inner demons before they can get to the friendship-making stage. After having a solid ground in social networking, an INFJ might start looking for romance.

Friendships are important to an INFJ. The MBTI type sees the value in people and wants to bring that value out. They are kindred spirits, the Jane Goodalls we all wish we could be.

INFJ friends have a lot to offer. They may, when younger, have really explosive emotions, but as they mature they’ll turn into some of the calmest people you’ll ever meet. They desire a great deal of creative growth and want to know and understand the planet.

INFJ texts have a certain tinge to them. Their messages can get stuck in your head because they're clever.

INFJ texts have a certain tinge to them. Their messages can get stuck in your head because they're clever.

Signs You're Texting an INFJ

Here are 20 signs that someone you’re texting might be an INFJ as opposed to one of the other 15 MBTI types:

1. INFJs love to send long texts with impressive language. These texts will stop if you don’t reciprocate their length.

2. They’ll send friendly texts to see if you want to hang out with them and do something creative, like baking a cake, putting together a flower arrangement, or reenacting scenes from The Godfather.

3. INFJ types are great at being interpersonal. They love to get lunch, dinner, coffee, drinks, etc. They’ll reach out to you to have fun conversations in person.

4. Crazy weird texts. Imagine all the strangest movies and books from your childhood and those tales being vomited out into several texts.

5. They’ll send messages with seemingly perfect grammar, spelling, and originality. Of course, everyone makes mistakes… so don’t lose your mind when they make a typo.

6. Texts that seem to be going nowhere and everywhere all at once. Are they professing their love for chickens, or are they doing math homework?

7. Expect pictures of: cats, happy faces on cakes, random objects with no meaning, dinosaurs, trash, pretty flowers, their new haircut, and food menus. INFJ loves to send messages with a touch of friendliness and chaos.

8. Texts checking in to see how you’re doing. Maybe they have a sixth sense for when you have a bad day, or they noticed your upset status update on social media.

9. An explosion of energy that comes from nowhere. The seemingly reserved, modest person suddenly opens up to you, and it's like an apocalypse escaping a can of worms. Sometimes when INFJ types open up, they open up a lot. They’ll go quiet if they think you’re not interested.

10. Jokes. All kinds of jokes. INFJ is a jokester. It makes them feel more comfortable. They like to use their god given wit.

11. Sudden flashes of nostalgia. They saw something that reminded them of something the two of you did together a long time ago. You might not have a clue as to what they’re referring to— just go along with it.

12. Tips on great movies, books, and albums to go through before you die. INFJ types tend to have eclectic tastes. If you want to expand your horizons, ask an INFJ what are some of their favorite movies. Get them to make you a list and share it with you.

13. INFJ likes a little bit of text competition. You text them, and they text you back. They like to keep going with the conversation until suddenly the other person folds… and the other person probably doesn’t know it's a fun-loving game for the INFJ.

14. Texts complimenting the heck out of you for no reason. INFJ knows how to flatter someone’s ego to the moon and back.

15. INFJ will send you complete gibberish because they don’t know what to say, and they’re hoping you’ll be able to fill in the blanks.

16. Your INFJ friend could fall prey to their philosophical self. Look out for ramblings about the existential self. Let them ramble. Feed the flame. It’ll make them feel better, and you’ll earn brownie points.

17. Let them write about kittens, puppies, Sasquatches, quantum mechanics, purple dragons, and the Mongolian Republic.

18. An INFJ is full of creativity. They have a lot to offer in conversation. The INFJ is also humble and wants you to feel socially comfortable, so if you feel like they’re being too much, try to find a way to tell them, and they’ll go along with it peacefully. (Okay, they might be a little hurt… but they’ll bounce back.)

19. An INFJ will test the waters to see if you might be interested in playing one of their mind games. They may text you some sort of bait to see if you’ll bite. How do you know they’re doing this? You’ll receive a text out of the blue that you don’t understand that you either have to ask a question or go along with it.

20. An INFJ may randomly ask you if you want to run off to Europe together.

How You Should Text an INFJ

If you are wanting to get closer to an INFJ, you should text them in a friendly, encouraging way. If you off come rude, the INFJ will be confused. It is a sensitive personality — one that cares about the emotions of others. If you are acting funky, the INFJ will consider what might be the core issue. So don’t send an INFJ angry texts unless you want to be opened up emotionally. INFJ does well with just about any kind of texting. They’ll tell you upfront how they feel and why they feel the way they do.

An INFJ likes to take their time getting to know someone. They feel there is a lot to process in getting to know someone adequately. The best way to get an INFJ on your side is to be engaging and fun.

INFJ likes to spend time with interesting people. If you seem fun, carefree, and consistent, an INFJ will treasure you as a friend. This is a personality that likes to be friends before moving on to a relationship… at least oftentimes.

An INFJ wants to know your interests. They might not pony up their interests because they don’t want to make you feel unwelcome or confused because they tend to like really bizarre things. If they know you are into weird, slap-happy stuff, they’ll probably share that side of themselves with you. INFJ is secretly ambitious. They have visions of being powerful leaders, riding off into the sunset on a motorcycle, and slaying mystical dragons.

They have incredibly powerful minds, but on the exterior, they come off as graceful, kindred, and polite. This is why they often attract edgy people into their lives because deep down they’re a little bit edgy and rebellious themselves. They love getting to meet new people and integrating them into their world. But they don’t like being overwhelmed in social situations. They tend to talk to a handful of people at parties.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2016 Andrea Lawrence

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