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How a Scorpio Man in Love Behaves

I am a proud Scorpio man who has a deep interest in astrology and the zodiac.

I am a Scorpio man, and I have often wondered what Scorpio men are like when it comes to love. How do we express love?” Many people are familiar with the general characteristics of a Scorpio man when he is in love. Some of these traits are possessiveness, jealousy and controlling behavior. Personally, I am shy, though I am not sure if “shy” is one of the characteristics.

But first, a general introduction to the Scorpio guy through the eyes someone with personal experience.

How to Spot a Scorpio Man

  • He's reserved: He can be silent on the outside but has a deep well of emotions within. If you see a guy at a party sitting in the corner quietly observing everything, he is probably your Scorpio man. Not that he is antisocial; he just likes privacy even in a social setting. At the same time, this isn't a foolproof clue; after all, some Scorpio men are very social. (I am one of these).
  • He's opinionated: Ask him about anything occult and wait for his reaction. You will immediately know whether he is a Scorpio or not. Most of the Scorpios I have met have strong beliefs (positive or negative) and are passionate about expressing them. In fact, a Scorpio male has at least some basic knowledge and strong feelings about most of the subjects under the sun.
  • His gaze is intense: Look deep into his eyes. As the cliché goes, you will probably feel like your soul is being stripped bare. Chances are that you may even get extremely attracted to him. As a Scorpio, I have gotten these reactions from my friends, the girls I have dated and my female colleagues.

A Scorpio Guy in Love and Relationships

There are various ideas about how a Scorpio guy behaves when he is in love. One thing to know for sure is that flirting with you does not mean he has feelings for you. I, for one, openly flirt with many girls, but I make it quite clear to them that it doesn’t mean anything other than that we are good friends. It is said that Scorpio guys do not fall in love easily unless the girl has some mystery around her. I can definitely vouch for that. I have only fallen for girls with an aura of mystery or power. But what happens if he does fall in love? How does he behave then?

Again, from my personal experience, once the guy falls for someone, there is no returning. He falls for her, and he falls hard. The first thing I notice is that I start going out of my way to do things for her. Now, this may be a general characteristic of most of the male species in the animal kingdom in order to attract the female. However, the second thing is not done by most of them. Once he is in love, he also starts becoming possessive.

Like a spider, a Scorpio will slowly start weaving a net around his beloved. If he sees that the game is a bit more challenging than he thought, he may even start becoming manipulative in order to make sure that she belongs to him. The bottom line is that he can go to any extreme to make sure she stays with him forever.

Flirting with you does not necessarily mean a Scorpio has feelings for you. But if he does fall, he falls hard.

Flirting with you does not necessarily mean a Scorpio has feelings for you. But if he does fall, he falls hard.

How Does He Express Love?

Now, the biggest question is this. How does a Scorpio express his love to the woman he likes? Frankly speaking, this is the toughest question for me as I still do not have one single answer for this.

I believe most Scorpio men fall into two categories when expressing love.

  1. One kind finds it too hard to express their love. I fall into this category. I am kind of shy and though I have dated many women in my life, I have expressed love only to a couple of them. It was not because I didn’t like some of the others. I was just either too shy in expressing it or a bit too slow.
  2. The second type of Scorpio just goes for it. One reason might be that Scorpios don’t like losing anything. Call them selfish, but if they like something, they start thinking that it belongs to them. This should not be taken in a negative way. It is simply that a Scorpio knows what kind of woman he wants and when he finds her, he cannot afford to lose her. So, if he has the confidence to jump right in, that's what he'll do.

For Scorpios, most things in life are games and battles they should win at any cost. They just cannot afford to lose. It may be said that, if the woman says no, it is a defeat for the Scorpio ego, which is difficult to handle. Like many people, Scorpios who don't express their interest are afraid of rejection. But if they can make it past that barrier, a Scorpio will be in for keeps. Remember, I told you that a Scorpio man does not fall in love easily? Once he does, he does not let go.

Scorpio Ryan Gosling is not afraid to jump right in.

Scorpio Ryan Gosling is not afraid to jump right in.

Hot and Cold: Your Scorpio Guy

I keep getting queries from people who are with a Scorpio and confused about his behavior. They ask questions such as: "My Scorpio guy acts hot and cold" or "He just stopped talking to me for two weeks. Why?" To clear things up, I thought that it would be good to mention some of the traits you may encounter if you are considering a relationship with a Scorpio.

  • Mood swings: He can have frequent mood swings. This is not necessarily because he has PMS issues. He just gets overwhelmed easily. He keeps thinking about 10 different things at one moment, and he needs to focus on all of them but can only manage one at a time. He feels that he is always in the eye of the storm. That is one reason why he may be all over you one moment, and the next moment act completely distant. Even while talking to you, he may suddenly think of something else he needs to handle. A Scorpio's mind never rests.
  • Focus: In general, he needs to focus on one thing at a time. For him, difficulties are problems to be solved with undivided attention. That's the reason he may prefer not to talk to you for some time (because he is trying to solve something with extreme focus). Don't always interpret his silence as "he is upset with me."
  • Reluctance to commit: He doesn't rush into a true relationship. You two may hit it off immediately, but it takes effort and diligence to prove yourself as his soulmate. Of course, once he believes you are "the one" he will be extremely loyal. The only reason he may commit adultery is if he thinks that you are not the right one.
  • Sensitivity: He should come with a special tag that says "Handle with care." He has a tough shell on the outside, but he is extremely sensitive inside. You don't always know what will hurt his feelings. So, be extremely careful when you talk to him, especially if you are having a heated conversation.

Advice on Dating a Scorpio

Relationships with a Scorpio can be intensely passionate. Once you crack that "tough guy" shell, there are few star signs more devoted or loyal in love. However, there's a dark side to that loyalty: Scorpio men can also be jealous and oppressive partners. Here is some advice on how to handle a relationship with a Scorpio man.

  • Be honest: Avoid playing games. I am not discouraging you from playing the initial courtship games but don't take it too far. If you have given him your word, stick to it. Scorpio men seldom trust anyone, and not keeping your word is the easiest way to lose his trust.
  • Be assertive: He can be dominating and possessive in relationships, but don't let him get away with this behavior. He respects a woman who can hold her ground and does not give in easily. Be confident, and stand up for yourself and your needs.
  • Be wary of manipulative behavior: He can be a master of mind games and manipulation. If you hurt him deeply, he may even make "destroying you" or "teaching a lesson" the sole purpose of his life. There are very few who have evolved beyond a point of vengeance. If a person is stalking you, he most probably has a Scorpio element somewhere in his birth chart.
  • Don't worry if you don't always understand him: His behavior may sometimes seem pretty weird. We are not very good at explaining our reasons for doing things, and he probably has something in mind which he is not talking about. It is extremely difficult to understand what goes on inside a Scorpio's brain. If you don't get it, let him explain eventually, on his own terms.

This advice is mostly from my personal experience. Feel free to let me know what you think.

All Scorpios are not the same. After all, there are different levels to which a Scorpio has evolved. To get a clearer picture of what may be the level of evolution of your Scorpio guy, check out my article on totems of a Scorpio.

Questions & Answers

Question: Why does a Scorpio man tell me he wants just a physical relationship, and has no strong feelings and no strings attached? I told him that I love him and want a serious relationship. Would he ever fall in love with me if I accept the physical relationship with him?

Answer: It really depends on what the Scorpio guy wants. A physical relationship may not necessarily translate to love in his case.

Question: My boyfriend of 4 months is a Scorpio, it's been intense from the beginning. He tells me that he's falling in love with me, that he loves me, and misses me or is looking forward to seeing me, though. At least once a week he feels the need to remind me that he does NOT want to be in a relationship, but doesn't want to lose me. I never once pushed him for a relationship, I love him. But I'm so confused and not sure if I'm coming or going?

Answer: If he is absolutely sure about his love, he WILL make a move. Till then, you may have to wait patiently.

Question: I fell in love with a Scorpio man, the shy kind. I recently found out he is married, but his wife lives out of the country. I am so mad he didn’t tell me. What should I do?

Answer: Tell him that he kept it a secret and move out of the relationship.

Question: Are male scorpios controlling?

Answer: They are controlling to a certain extent. But there are various levels of control and it really depends on the person.

Question: My Scorpio boyfriend and I have just parted ways on good terms. He wants to focus on his health and work issues; I agreed, and we parted friendly! He says he cares a lot about me and I am all these wonderful things under the sun. Will he come back, or is it a move on situation?

Answer: I would say don't keep your hopes too high. If he comes back, great! If he doesn't, then move on. See if you can afford to give him some time to get his stuff sorted. If not, then better to take care of your own stuff.

Question: Will a Scorpio commit to marriage?

Answer: Yes, but only if he/she is absolutely sure.

Question: I am in a relationship with a Scorpio man, we have a great sexual connection, where it is very passionate at times. Even though we have great sexual chemistry, when we are out for dates or just hanging out at different venues, he will never hold my hand or keep the same pace as me (walking wise) or even lock eye contact. Is this normal behavior for a Scorpio? I am kinda offended, but I didn't know if I should be. By the way, I am a Leo if that makes any difference. Thanks.

Answer: Scorpios are generally not into PDAs (public display of affection). So, you may have to bear with it.

Question: My crush is a Scorpio, what can I do to get his attention?

Answer: I think the first thing you need to do is appear a little mysterious. Scorpios love solving a mystery. So, be a little mysterious and appear as if you don't care much for his attention.

Question: What does it mean if a male Scorpio keeps looking at you?

Answer: It normally means that the person is interested in you.

Question: My Scorpio man swept me off my feet after few weeks of meeting him. I noticed that when he's upset or disappointed, he doesn't speak up. Sometimes we'll be talking via text and he'll leave me hanging. Overall, he doesn't say much except for when he tells me how much he loves me and that I'm his everything. I sometimes get mixed messages and it drives me nuts! He sure knows how to snap me outta my funk when I'm sad or upset though by saying the right thing. Is this a typical Scorpio?

Answer: In one word, Yes.

Question: I want to date a Scorpio! I love him and think he loves me too, but is shy, hesitant, and fears love because of past experiences. What should I do?

Answer: You can probably give him subtle hints that you love him. The rest, you may have to sit back a little and watch. If he really loves you, he will come for you.

Question: What is the best way to handle dating a Scorpio during his cold stage?

Answer: I think that you should leave the person with little interference, but just enough to show that you are still there if needed.

Question: I am dating a Scorpio man. He says he loves me but doesn't show his emotions. He doesn't show any romantic gestures; I don't understand why he will say he loves me, and not show it. Is this normal for Scorpio men?

Answer: Scorpios seldom show emotions, and are rarely verbal in expressing love. But always look at their actions. If they are trying to woo you even in the subtlest way, then that means that they are into you.

Question: I started dating a Scorpio man recently, he told me he is falling in love hard with and he is going to leave his girlfriend of many years for me. Is he telling me the truth does he just want to get into my pants?

Answer: Don't trust him yet. A Scorpio doesn't leave a long-term GF/BF so easily. It is not even possible for them to get out of a relationship easily.

Question: Why does my Scorpio man always make me choose where we go on our dates? Is he not really interested?

Answer: Nothing like that. Scorpio guys don't necessarily try to be in control of everything. They are easygoing when it comes to many things.

Question: How loyal are Scorpios ?

Answer: Scorpios are generally known to be very loyal to their partners. Though they take a long time to commit (they don't commit unless they are absolutely sure), they remain loyal once they are committed.

Question: Hi, my Scorpio boyfriend wouldn’t say he loves me but treats me like a princess when we’re together. He would go beyond to impress me, and he did say action speaks louder than words. Does he love me or not?

Answer: For Scorpios, actions do speak louder than words. If he treats you really well, then he may indeed love you.

Question: I am dating a Scorpio man for one month, and he told me that he loves me after one week of dating and has started talking about getting married. Should I trust him? I am Libra woman.

Answer: There is an interesting attraction between Libra and Scorpio. But being a long-term match is a little tricky. Dynamics change after marriage, which I don't know if he is aware of or not. Due to their strong traits, both may end up annoying each other too much sometimes. So, you need to be careful before committing to such a big move.

Question: I've been in a relationship with a Scorpio man for two years. I am a Leo woman, and it is challenging. Do you think it will work?

Answer: Yes, a relationship between a Leo and a Scorpio is challenging. The clap has to come from both hands, so see if you guys can work it out.

Question: Do Scorpios like their space?

Answer: Yes, Scorpios very much prefer their personal space.

Question: I was with a Scorpio man, and we were in love. Then all the sudden he had mixed feelings and said he doesn't love me the same way. I don't know what to do. I'm in love, but he isn't. What should I do?

Answer: I think probably he never really "loved" you. It may actually have been an attraction or infatuation, and he may not have realized it earlier. Scorpios love with passion. If they don't feel that passion within themselves, they are not in love.

Question: I have been sleeping with a Scorpio man and just want to get away from him. He plays mind games with me constantly. I tried to make it civil and told him I was developing feelings for him and wanted just to be friends. When I decided to end things he wouldn’t leave me alone and told me stuff as he cares for me and crap. How do I end things on a good note and get him just to let me be?

Answer: I guess getting far away from him may work.

Question: Why are Scorpio men so mean?

Answer: Every zodiac sign has a fault. Scorpio's is being mean. Alternately, 'mean' also comes from not being able to understand a Scorpio completely. Don't worry! No one can completely understand a Scorpio. Sometimes, not even a Scorpio themselves.

Question: Why would he tell me that he loves me and wants me to have his child, and then start ignoring me?

Answer: It is difficult to understand what goes on in a Scorpio mind, as they do not openly communicate. You may have to wait until he is in a better place.

Question: I'm a Scorpio myself dating a Scorpio man. How do I keep the relationship strong?

Answer: Scorpio-Scorpio needs a little compromise when it comes to love. The disadvantage in this relationship is that both are intense and are too much alike. This could also be good as they have some common positive attributes. Both should understand this and try and capitalize on the positives than the negatives.

Question: I've been dating a Scorpio man and the sex is great. I asked what is it that he wants, and his reply was simply, "I enjoy you." What does that mean?

Answer: It could be just the physical part he may want. Scorpios don't commit easily. The best thing is to directly ask him.

Question: I would like to know if a Scorpio Male introduces you to his kids and parents, is he serious?

Answer: It could be quite possible that he is serious.

Question: I have been dating a Scorpio man for the past month and a half. We are sleeping together. I told him that I liked him, but he didn't say anything back. Is that a rejection?

Answer: Scorpio men usually keep their feelings to themselves. If he truly loves you, he will say it to you. Meanwhile, he may be evaluating his feelings.

Question: I’m an Aquarius woman in love with a Scorpio man. Will our relationship work out, and how?

Answer: It is undoubtedly a difficult match as both characteristics are different and their temperament usually has nothing in common. If other aspects of the birth chart/natal chart are matching, it may work out.

Question: I am dating a Scorpio man who loves me dearly, but is very jealous. He is supportive and much older than me. He spoils me sometimes, but he has not taken me to see his house as yet, and he stays with his children. Could it be that he does not love me enough?

Answer: He may still have other things to consider. He may be sorting out other things in his life (if he has to sort them out).

Question: How long would a Scorpio man wait for the woman he's interested in?

Answer: Unless he feels that he should really move on, he will wait for as long as it takes.

Question: I've been dating a Scorpio man for the past ten weeks. He's very attentive when we're together. He cooks, created "his and hers" Easter eggs and provided a toothbrush for his flat. But our physical relationship has become very ‘domesticated’ already! He works very long hours with very few days off with the police. I’ve barely heard from him in the past few days. I’m not sure if his interest is waning or it’s the pressure of his job. I want to be supportive, but I don’t want to neglect myself. How do I approach this?

Answer: From what I understand, he may NOT be ignoring you. Scorpios do anything with full passion. Right now, he may just be a little focused on his job. See if you can give him a casual call yourself and see how he is doing in life.

Question: I have been in love with my Scorpio best friend for almost 5 years. We are officemates. We are always together and we travel together. I don't know if he has feelings for me. I'm afraid to ask because he's very reserved and shy. He's always there for me though and he treats me differently from other girls. do you think he's in love with me?

Answer: Just because he treats you differently doesn't necessarily mean he loves you. Scorpio's feelings can be complicated. A Scorpio may show the same care for a friend. So, look into his actions and behavior. See if he kind of becomes obsessed with you or kind of restless when you are not around. Again, a Scorpio may not acknowledge that these are feelings for that person. So, there are a few signs you will have to look at before deciding that he loves you.

Question: My Scorpio musician friend told me he loves me but then became distant and hadn't wanted to meet up again. What should I do?

Answer: How long has it been since you two met? If it's not been long, then he may still be undecided. Scorpios usually take a long time before they commit. So, he could still be undecided.

Question: I recently confessed to a Scorpio man, but he hasn't given me his answer on whether he wants to date me. What does it mean?

Answer: It probably means that he hasn't made up his mind yet. Do not try to push him, though, as it will just push him away.

Question: Why does a Scorpio man always pretend to be okay even if he is not?

Answer: That is probably because of their secretive nature. They don't want to show their true emotions, especially the sad ones, to others.

Question: I am in love with a Scorpio guy, and he told me that he has started to love me more than he thought. After a few months, he told me to move on because he thinks I deserve someone better. But he keeps talking to me, and he even wrote a song for me. What does this all mean? Does he love me?

Answer: It's possible that he may still love you, but he feels insecure about something.

Question: Does a Scorpio male have a tendency to forget?

Answer: If it is not something important, they don't bother remembering it.

Question: Why would a Scorpio man tell me that he loves me but have a lot of friends who are women at the same?

Answer: A Scorpio man can have a lot of women friends and vice versa. Doesn't mean that they are in anyway involved with them.

Question: I'm a Virgo woman who has recently reconnected with a man from about 40 years ago. We just started talking, and within a week he is saying how he wants me to be with him, and he said he wants to fall in love again. He wants to be treated right. The problem is I'm still married. Should I just stop this right now? If not I am going to leave my husband.

Answer: I think you should stop it, assuming that your marriage is not on the verge of falling apart. You can probably try and make him understand that you live a different life right now.

Question: Do you like answering all these Scorpio questions?

Answer: Some of them, I reply to. Others, I don't. Some questions do not have a straight-forward answer and some others are kind of repetitive.

Question: I'm a Scorpio woman dating a Scorpio man, why aren't our signs compatible?

Answer: The challenge of Scorpio-Scorpio is that they are too much alike, both in positives and negatives. The love is magnificent but imagine a fight between them.

Question: I am an Aquarius woman and he's a Scorpio man. Why does he tell me that it's not going to work? We haven't even done anything yet.

Answer: The reason is that both Scorpio and Aquarius have different ways of thinking and different psyche. Scorpio is a water sign. That makes them very emotional. They usually prefer traditions and structures. Aquarius, on the other hand, is an air sign. They are more free-willed. They don't like to be bound. Moreover, both are fixed signs which mean it is very difficult for them to change their outlook, thinking or decisions in life. Hence, it is indeed difficult for them to survive with each other. Maybe as friends, they may be good but in a relationship, it is going to be tough.

Question: I have turned down a Scorpio guy many times, and he still keeps on asking me out. I'm a Virgo, and I think I like him. He is slowly creeping in my life, but I'm scared. What should I do?

Answer: What are you going to lose if you allow him in your life? Ask yourself this question and decide. If you do decide to go ahead, be extremely cautious about the roller-coaster ride.

Question: I am currently dating a Scorpio man. He broke up with me, but he came back. He always talks about sex. He does not know me properly, but he cares about my sickness. Does he love me?

Answer: It is very difficult to say. When it comes to love, Scorpios don't make quick decisions. So, you may want to wait for some time to see the signs.

Question: I’m a Taurus woman with a Scorpio man, should I believe him when he says that he wants to marry me?

Answer: If he is really insistent, then you can believe him.

Question: I have a Scorpio friend that I've known for a year. He courted me, but my feelings for him were not the same. He is still talking to me like a friend. Is he still in love with me?

Answer: He may be confused about his feelings towards you at this point, or he may want to take some time understanding or expressing his feelings.

Question: I dated a Scorpio man a few months ago, and then he disappeared all of a sudden. We met a few months afterward, and he said that he really likes me, but he couldn’t be in a relationship right now as he is going through a divorce, with two young children involved. I love him, and I make sure to never put pressure on him as I KNOW for the moment he cannot offer or promise anything. Am I wrong to hope that things will get better? Or am I being fooled and used for sex and fun?

Answer: I think you wait for a little and then see if things may improve on his side.

Question: I met a Scorpio last month. It was an amazing date, and there was a lot of attraction, but after, he didn't speak to me for a week. We then got back on track, but then argued. Now he's blocked me and won't speak to me! What's wrong with him?

Answer: He may not have been that into you.

Question: I met a Scorpio guy who used to be more loving until I hurt him. Now he seems more distant. What should I do?

Answer: I think you should remain quiet for a couple o days and watch what he does. If everything is fine, he should become restless if he sees no reply from your end.