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INFJ and INFP: A Couple Who Loves to Dream

Andrea has a background in Myers-Briggs and Western astrology. She mostly writes about relationships.

infj-and-infp-a-couple-who-loves-to-dream

INFJ and INFP make for a beautiful couple. They have a lot going for them. They'll find mutual ground since they're both part of the NF family, the idealist group.

INFJ and INFP will feel safe with each other since they're both introverts, so there won't be a battle over whether to go out and party or to stay at home and read books. These two are usually on the same page. They have similar social batteries.

Pros and Cons

Overall, this couple is a match made in heaven. Their larger-than-life imaginations and broad intellectual curiosities make them big romantics. Romantic people do well when they date other romantic people.

I would argue INFJ and INFP have more pros together than cons. Myers-Briggs favors couples that are more similar than different.

Pros:

  • They connect on a deep emotional and spiritual level. They have a kindred ESP connection. They have neverending sweetness for each other.
  • They inspire each other. Since they understand each other well, they know what excites them. They can be excellent driving forces for their partner's ambitions.
  • They're highly creative. Things are never dull. If things become dull, they won't stay that way.
  • They both have charisma. Typically, INFJ and INFP are well-mannered people, they're charming, caring, hospitable, and compassionate. It's good when two people who have these things in common fall in love. They have similar ethos, logos, and pathos.

Cons:

  • They can both be fussy. Since they're both idiosyncratic, they both have to work hard to compromise for the greater good. They can be stubborn or have very set-in-stone preferences, particularly INFJ. They also have a lot of emotions running through them, making them moody.
  • INFJ can occasionally be too much for INFP. INFJ will go on about something—connecting points together endlessly—and much to their own thrill and amazement. The INFP might feel exhausted by INFJ's blast of intuition. INFP may find the INFJ is full of themselves.
  • INFP can sometimes be too much of a sloth. The INFP could literally live in their own room under a pile of empty soda cans while trying to figure out how to make an entire calendar of badger characterizations of Elvis Presley.
When INFJ and INFP fall in love, you can expect there to be a lot of romantic and goofy feelings. These two understand each other on a psychic level. Their top functions harmonize beautifully.

When INFJ and INFP fall in love, you can expect there to be a lot of romantic and goofy feelings. These two understand each other on a psychic level. Their top functions harmonize beautifully.

Dominant Gifts

INFJ's dominant function is introverted intuition (Ni) followed by extroverted feeling (Fe), introverted thinking (Ti), and extroverted sensing (Se). INFJ types are excellent at finding patterns and living inside their heads; they sometimes forget present reality and can be clumsy when forced to handle things in the physical world.

INFJ types score really high on intuition and low on sensing. This should be a noticeable gulf.

  • INFJs tend to do really well in school. Sometimes they're not sure what to do for careers.
  • They make excellent friends.
  • INFJs get excited about nerdy things.
  • They tend to take stock in their looks. They prize manners and whimsy.

INFP's dominant gift is introverted feeling (Fi) followed by extroverted intuition (Ne), introverted sensing (Si), and extroverted thinking (Te). INFP will go down rabbit holes and forsake sensible logic. They're incredibly compassionate individuals. They might be the most merciful and forgiving of the bunch. Their hearts could move mountains, but they can get themselves stuck in the weirdest predicaments because of their inferior extroverted thinking.

  • INFPs make for outstanding friends who are caring, open-minded, and reassuring.
  • INFPs are often drawn to the arts: crafts, music, photography, etc.
  • The introverted personality can be simultaneously adorable and lazy.
  • INFP prizes authenticity and humility.
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In an INFJ and INFP pairing, all of the possible functions are on the table. However, both couples have a lower preference for thinking and sensing, so these traits are weaker and can make the couple vulnerable in some situations. As they get older, some of their tertiary and inferior traits will mature.

High Preference for Intuition and Feeling

INFJ and INFP will unite because of their preferences for intuition and feeling. They have a nice conversation loop where the INFJ internalizes something in their intuition and expresses their thoughts in their feelings. INFP internalizes something in their feelings and expresses it in their unique pattern thinking of the world. These two will have excellent conversations that feed into each other beautifully. They're kismet whether as friends or romantically.

Those who have a strong preference for feeling do a better job of seeking out other people to get their input. They don't like to make decisions based solely on raw information. They want to know how others feel and how they'd interpret the same things. They may already have an idea or solution in mind, but they want to know what others think before making a decision.

Chaos from Thinking and Sensing Vulnerabilities

The two may drive each other nuts because of their less-developed thinking and sensing preferences. INFJ will at times be concerned for the INFP's decision-making, which can get pretty bonkers. An INFP friend of mine would eat bananas that were already thrown away, run a marathon after getting back into cigarettes, and drive away from officers because they got scared in the middle of them writing a ticket.

INFP will be amazed at the INFJ's lack of reasoning in the tangible world. The INFJ will come off aloof, clumsy, and unaware of things that are incredibly obvious. An INFJ will run right into a pillar that's in front of them because they're so in their head.

Tensions with Perceiving and Judging

One of the perplexing things about this couple is their preferences for cleanliness, organization, and structure. The INFJ typically has a lower functioning J than other judging types. They tend to have organized chaos around them: desks with a touch of clutter, a hoarding closet, and getting things done right on the deadline (no minutes spared). The INFP, however, is a true blood perceiving type. INFP can be incredibly messy to the point that INFJ might feel like they're losing their mind.

INFP might decide to skip showers for the next month and as part of a religious fast. The next month INFP might decide to skip showers for a whole month as a protest against religions and mega-corporations. The INFP's randomness and unpredictability can be exhausting for their partner.

When it comes to ethics and social good, INFJ doesn't care to the point that they'll suffer with a skunk-infested smell. INFJ likes for things to be somewhat timely, whereas INFP will wait forever to do chores. Their floor will have a newly installed carpet that gradually changes: all of their clothes are on the floor making a sea of laundry. INFPs are serial procrastinators.

The INFP will do odd things like only washing one outfit at a time. They'll think this is keeping things minimalistic, but they're actually wasting a lot of energy by only washing one outfit at a time. Meanwhile, INFJ can be super picky. They're constantly coming up with new rules and guidelines, and sometimes they get upset if you don't instinctively understand their rule or inquiry. INFJ is more precise and demanding, whereas INFP is more flexible.

  • INFJ is stubborn to a fault. INFP is indecisive and likes to explore things.
  • INFJ likes to live by a certain amount of standards and decorum. INFP is more idiosyncratic and weird.
  • INFJ cuts corners but keeps things relatively tidy. INFP is a hurricane who moves from one messy task to the next.

Both Personalities Suffer from Stress

Both types can run a little anxious. They have a lot of dreams in their heads, they truly want the world to be a better place, they're threatened by conflict, and they empathize with all creatures big and small.

When there is a lot of societal pressure/civil unrest, it makes the INFJ and INFP feel very anxious. They want people to get along. The INFJ is the counselor who wants to help people achieve their dreams and to help them overcome their traumas. The INFP is the healer who with their big compassionate heart and friendliness makes the world a better place.

Since our world kind of sucks, INFJ and INFP struggle with a lot of stress. People might think they're too soft-hearted and naive. They will find comfort in each other; they just have to remember that the rest of the world isn't really like either of them.

infj-and-infp-a-couple-who-loves-to-dream

Both Struggle to be Sensible

INFJ and INFP will need to work a little harder to be practical. If they're not careful, finances will run dry, chores will fall to the wayside, and things will come out of alignment. Even though INFJ and INFP are not naturally big fans of organizing, taking care of budgets, and tidying up, these are things they'll have to mature into.

INFJ does have more preference for these things than INFP, but INFP can't rely on INFJ to take care of all those menial tasks. INFJ likes to cut corners too, and it's too much of a burden if all the responsibility is put on their shoulders.

I would encourage the two of you to sit down and divide up the chores and tasks fairly. Use a chore wheel if necessary, come up with prizes for completing difficult tasks, and if you don't need it, you probably don't need to buy it.

Excellent Emotional Logic

Emotional exploration will be fun for the two of you. This will satisfy a void in both persons. You both likely haven't had enough NF people in your life, so being with someone from the same temperament will be healing for you. The emotional bonding that takes place in this arrangement is amazing. Some people might be jealous of your romantic closeness.

You two can see each other clearly. You're both emotionally strong and can read emotions well. You'll feel far more comfortable expressing yourself because you're both part of the NF family.

Even if the two of you are mavericks when it comes to emotions, I would encourage both of you to keep working toward understanding your emotions on a deeper level. Watch your stress baseline and make sure you're keeping your stress to a healthy level. When your stress level gets too high, it puts you into a frenzy. The goal is to stay cool, calm, and collected. Don't be easily shaken; you can weather most storms.

Important note: Don't try to manipulate your partner. Just because you have a strong emotional stack of cards doesn't mean you should use it in a deceptive way.

Do Creative Projects Together

The two of you would do well to share your interests and find mutual hobbies. INFJ and INFP tend to have overlapping interests. You'll be happy working together on something creative whether that's writing a new musical, hosting a craft night, or taking a random drive to an unknown city for unique pictures.

Enjoy the Company of Friends and Family

Even though you're both introverted, you do still need to see people. The catch-22 for INFx personalities is that you love people, you want to cheer on your friends, and you want them to be more spirited, but you also want your alone time. You feel a strong need to balance out socializing and introspection.

Relationships with two introverts can equate to a lot of time at home (or it spells out strange adventures outside of the home with only the two of you). Sometimes the two of you need to mingle at parties.

  • You need to make friends and stay connected with your relatives.
  • Don't just be couch potatoes.
  • Too much alone time at home will make you stir crazy.
  • If you stay away from your friends and family for too long, you'll be awkward when you finally see them.

Both INFJ and INFP need more stimulation than the general introvert for their sanity. They're not as desperate for socialization as their cousins, ENFJ and ENFP. They're also not as introverted as INTJ or INTP; their logical counterparts have less interest in human affairs.

Deep Love of Intuition

INFJ and INFP will feel understood and comfortable with each other with their preference for intuition. These two can talk about abstract and strange things until the cows come home. They're not afraid to be weird and to talk about some pretty outlandish things. They get along because of their weirdness. They find people with a preference for S to be boring, stuck in the mud, and plain.

INFJ and INFP are colorful, dream-oriented, and idealists. This is not a couple who would fare well in a house with gray and beige walls and basic furniture only meant for utilty.

How Can You Tell the Difference between INFJ and INFP?

The labels INFJ and INFP are not set in stone. Essentially, it's just an amalgamation of four spectrums and your preferences for those four spectrums. Not all people who have INFJ preferences act the same way, nor do all INFPs act the same way. Myers-Briggs is about preferences and how that influences your persona.

Keep this in mind: People's preferences can change. Your personality can change. Sometimes you better know yourself with aging, or there are big life-changing circumstances that change the way you perceive things.

If you feel like you can't tell the difference between INFJ and INFP, I would suggest taking a test and seeing where your preferences land on the spectrums. An INFJ should have a wide gap between their intuition and sensing; their thinking and feeling gap should be closer. This is the reverse for the INFP: their feeling and thinking preferences should have a big gap and the intuition and sensing spectrum should be closer to the middle.

INFJ and INFP are very similar, and the above video I attached almost sounds more like an INTJ than an INFJ. I don't think INFJ types are only motivated by concepts; they're incredibly people-oriented but they have better boundaries than INFP. INFP can be somewhat of a martyr. They'll die for you. INFJ is more skeptical of the people around them.

INFJ can be a little messy and flexible in thought. Intuitive people tend to be more flexible than sensing types because intuitive types tend to be weird and open-minded. INFP is very messy and is outrageously fluid in thought to the point of having problems with indecision. Both INFJ and INFP will look to others around them before making a decision. They like input. They'll seek it and then decide whether they'll use other people's advice. Someone who has more of a preference for T won't care as much about people's input.

So, if you're starting to sound more like you prefer raw data or concepts, you might be an INTJ. If you're feeling like you can't stand to be away from people, you're probably an ENFP or ENFJ. If you're kind of an ambivert, you're an INFJ. INFJ types tend to fall in the middle when it comes to introversion-extroversion and judging-perceiving. It's their intuition spectrum that's very noticeable. INFP leans more toward introversion, is in the middle of intuition-sensing, has pronounced feeling, and fairly pronounced perceiving.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2022 Andrea Lawrence

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