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How to Tell an INFJ Likes You

Updated on June 07, 2016
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Andrea loves to write on the zodiac, myers briggs, and texting. She is an expert on romance and relationships. She also has two cats.

What is attractive about the INFJ personality?

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The INFJ in Myers Briggs is one of the most complicated, mysterious, and alluring personalities when it comes to romance. They honestly have a hard time understanding why you can't tell that you like them because they feel like a bursting volcano, but all of that is below the surface. The introverted, intuitive, feeler, and judger is meant for romance in their life.

Signs that an INFJ is Into You

1. An INFJ is hard to read often times because they're modest, slow to move, and yet engaging, charming, and smart. If an INFJ keeps prompting conversations with and always replies to what you say -- they're trying to keep it consistent.

2. An INFJ will dress up a little more. This may be hard to tell because an INFJ already has good upkeep of themselves. They may improve their hair, skin, weight, buy a new outfit, etc.

3. An INFJ will struggle with butterflies in their stomach. They might not admit that to you, but if they seem emotionally broad if you spend one on one time with them -- that's a hint.

4. An INFJ will like it when you touch them. If they touch you -- that's a big sign. If you turn them down early on for touching you, they may never approach you again. They're hyper sensitive to touch and personal space.

5. The INFJ will linger. In fact, that's probably the biggest clue. They know they've got places and people to see, but if they linger around you long enough maybe you'll ask them out or offer a way to spend more time with them. I believe the INFJ is a professional at lingering. If they never linger, then you're probably not on their radar.

6. If you receive a gigantic, long, well-written text message -- you've gotten in their brain bad. They're probably humiliated that they sent such a beast. Regardless of the content, what they're trying to say is "I am enthralled by you... and have so many thoughts right now."

7. The INFJ when they like someone will have giant sized eyes when they stare at you. If they're really attracted to someone their whole face opens up.

8. The INFJ is secretive and on top of things. It's kind of like playing chess with someone who already knows how the game ends, except they don't know how to communicate it, and they don't want to creep you out with all the stalking they've done. If they like you, they'll probably spam your Facebook or email with genuinely interesting links, videos, sentences, etc.

9. The INFJ will let you in on their inner world if they like you. They want to make sure that you won't just accept them for their outer qualities, but their inner ones -- which are pure weird fluid imagination droplets. If they're letting you read their writing, hear their songs, and so forth -- they probably like you.

10. Occasionally, a bold INFJ will walk right up to you and tell you they like you. They're tired of waiting for you to get everything together, and they've probably been waiting for awhile anyway.

11. An INFJ will do things for you like bake you things, clean your house, study with you -- they're good at acts of service. It doesn't feel too clingy or weird to them.

12. An INFJ will spend a god awful amount of time with you one on one. They'll easily stay with you till the sunrises if they like you.

13. An INFJ will let you in on personal details, like what they screwed up or what's happening with their family. Deep stuff that they wouldn't share with just anybody.

14. An INFJ will try to find ways to be around when you around. They'll try to figure out your schedule... and then do that lingering thing they love to do.

15. An INFJ is likely to write a long, handwritten letter.

16. In love, an INFJ will want to have an immersive, powerful relationship. They want to spend time with you, pontificate ideas, and probably won't care about material things. They can have very simple or spontaneous dates.

17. If an INFJ is relaying personal information from their childhood -- they're hooked on you.

18. An INFJ may have sudden bursts of laughter, humor, and random singing / noises / emotions when are someone they like. They feel more opened around them.

19. An INFJ acts different around those they like. They feel like it's okay to be more open around them and less to themselves.

20. If they're comfortable enough to tell dirty jokes, this can go one of two ways. They may only see you as a friend, or they may really, super, out-of-control like you. Either way, you're close.

INFJ Physical Touch Cues

21. They grab your hand out of nowhere.

22. They really, really want to dance with you.

23. Having the need to sit right next to you.

24. Again... lingering.

25. Touching their hair or face a lot, smiling, and their eyes being super wide.

26. Plopping their head on you, like your shoulder or back.

27. Lots of facial expressions.

28. Prolonged waiting for a hug.

29. Intense staring.

30. Staying in close proximity to you.

INFJ Emotions

31. An INFJ is loses her mind when she latches onto someone emotionally, but it doesn't go anywhere for too long. You might start seeing some complex behavior, like not knowing when to greet you or over abundantly showering you with praise. They're essentially stuck and unsure what to do next. Try to help them out with this limbo by being reassuring. They need to really know you have affections for them.

32. The INFJ is a loyal personality who tends to be monogamous. It's really intense for them to be stuck on one person, but it naturally what they'll do. The idea of being disloyal is really hard for an INFJ. Something strange is going on if the INFJ is disloyal.

33. The INFJ is bound to have a number of friends from a number of walks of life. This doesn't mean that they're trying to make you jealous, have you compete against suitors, etc. They like spending time with people even though they're introverted. If seeing someone talk to lots of people and it makes you jealous, the INFJ might be a poor pick for you. The INFJ is loyal to the core to their romantic partner, but they need to have other friends, not romantic interests, friends.

34. The INFJ is doing what they can to downplay themselves. They don't want to be overly clingy and I think they fear being clingy because the energy they have inside is rambunctious. They don't want to scare you.

35. The INFJ isn't super fond of pointless arguments. It wears them out. They want to converse openly and explore ideas, not feel as though an option must be forced and is the only way.

36. The INFJ doesn't like being too practical or down to earth. They want someone that they can explore their weird, imaginative side with. They like someone who is creative, musical, artsy, and philosophical. They worry that if you don't plunge into weirdness with them then you won't actually truly accept them.

37. An INFJ will overwhelm themselves if they have too much social interaction. If they're hopping from party to party and million other functions -- they'll eventually shutdown. If they're really craving space to themselves, let them have it. If you try to pressure them into a conversation when they're wanting to collapse, you'll just make them grumpy.

38. An INFJ when they like someone hardcore may overt eye contact and fiddle with nearby objects to distract themselves. Engage in conversation with them and this social awkwardness will die down. They're just nervous and trying to get over the nerves and be cool.

39. A talkative INFJ is a good sign. If all they're doing is being quiet, then they might not feel comfortable to share themselves.

40. An INFJ may have sudden bouts of being forward. This personality has a lot of energy, and in the right setting, with the right person, they lose their fears and just go for it.


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    • Kaitlan 11 months ago

      This is SO acurate!!! I'm like cracking up right now because I do these things ALL the time. Whoever wrote this I love you ☺️

    • SerenityHalo profile image

      Andrea Lawrence 11 months ago from Chicago


      I love you too! It's nice to know the feeling is mutual... when it comes to INFJ's that is.

    • Kaitlan 11 months ago

      I love you more ☺️, this will help my friends understand my weird actions. I do get very frustrated because I tell myself to stop gazing at people, but my eyes tend to not obey. And the butterflies? Don't even get me started.

    • SerenityHalo profile image

      Andrea Lawrence 11 months ago from Chicago


      The butterflies are the worst. They can really ruin a good budding romance. That's gotten better as I've gotten older.

    • Kaitlan 11 months ago

      I am SO FRUSTRATED with the butterflies. It is affecting my friendships because I'm always looking for that "soulmate". As of now her name is Olivia, no I don't have a crush on her, I just... Love her

    • SerenityHalo profile image

      Andrea Lawrence 11 months ago from Chicago


      I think the best love advice for an INFJ is to stay calm. Don't build it too much in your head. Keep it relaxed and love will come naturally for you. You deserve a happy romance, the more you believe that and ease into it, the easier things will get.

    • INFJ 11 months ago

      Yeah, I think this is really accurate too. I am a 14 year old INFJ that found the test by chance and I know that I want to be a counselor. Have for about a year now. I think that it's good that I found those four letters now instead of later, because I've been trying to figure myself out for years.

    • SerenityHalo profile image

      Andrea Lawrence 11 months ago from Chicago


      And there will be much more to learn! That's awesome that you're getting into Myers Briggs so early.

    • Kaitlan 11 months ago

      Thank you so much!!!! That helped like a lot. I'm much calmer now, I memorized that comment and I think of it often. ☺️

    • ENFP 8 months ago

      Reading this, and being on the recieving end of some of these I can say I feel they are accurate as well! I've been communicating with an INFJ in Germany for a number of months now. Most things say we're an ideal match, and I personally feel all that has been states here is accurate. Being on the recieving end anyway.

      Because of the time difference we're not in constant communication, but in the way she messages me, I can tell I make her a little nervous.

      She's an artist, and has let me view a lot of her old images that she considers private, she's let me in on her childhood past, etc.

      We've got T-O-N-S in common. From hobbies, to favorite shows and music, and a lot of other deeper things too.

      I hope I'm not reading too deeply into it, but I personally am completely enthralled by her.

    • SerenityHalo profile image

      Andrea Lawrence 8 months ago from Chicago


      INFJ can't help but like ENFP. This sounds really sweet. I hope the best for you! I'm sure one way or another you are a positive person in her life.

    • ENFP 8 months ago

      I certainly hope so! The distance between us really doesn't seem to bother either of us too. And even if she doesn't feel the same way I do; I feel blessed just knowing her ^^

    • 7 months ago

      So precise, totally love it!!!

    • Ankhtur 4 months ago

      Thank you for this amazing broken down navigation to how to approach someone certain someone I truly attracted to. Searching for his :D. Another question, I'm personally an ENFP and I kinda know this INFJ girl. Could use please give some sense of direction how to approach her through online? or anyway? mostly online.

    • ENFP 4 months ago

      @Ankhtur Just be yourself! I'm in the same exact boat as you. In fact, I had no idea I was an ENFP until I started talking to her. In one of her online BIOs it said "INFJ" and I inquired what it meant. I soon looked into it, and discovered my own personality type. This was almost 8 months ago and we've grown very close, despite being clear across the planet from each other. (I'm an American, she's German). All I can say is don't make personality traits the reason you talk, just talk to her to talk to her. That's what's worked for me thus far.

    • SerenityHalo profile image

      Andrea Lawrence 4 months ago from Chicago


      If you're an ENFP just talking to her will have chemistry to it. INFJ is a fan of seeing your personality go on the spontaneous side. They like to jump on board with that. INFJ can really pick out a strong connection, so be consistent with her. Good luck!

    • Chris Chiusa ENFP 3 months ago

      Hey Andrea, this is so informative, really liked this. Made me crack up so many times.

      For really complicated reasons things between me and an INFJ in High School didn't work out, and I thought I would never find one again because they're so rare. But fast forward just two more years, I'm now a sophomore at a community college. I met this girl at school and instantly became attracted to her. Just a few minutes of talking to her and I already can tell that she's an INFJ hahah

      So far it's going alright, I'm just afraid of smothering her in the way that ENFPs sadly tend to doing. This article helps though. Thanks!

    • SerenityHalo profile image

      Andrea Lawrence 3 months ago from Chicago

      INFJ can handle you! It'll weird an INFJ out if you become inconsistent. You can always ask if you are smothering her, but -- being inconsistent with the connection will make her think you are not fully interested. It is much easier to handle and work out smothering problems. ;)

    • INFJ-Guy 2 months ago

      This article is so accurate. I felt like I never fit in anywhere. Finally something is beginning to make sense. :-)

    • SerenityHalo profile image

      Andrea Lawrence 2 months ago from Chicago

      Glad you have found your home. ;)

    • Naiha 2 months ago

      I wish I'd find the perfect INFJ for me!

    • SerenityHalo profile image

      Andrea Lawrence 2 months ago from Chicago

      Maybe one day you will!

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