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How to Tell If an INFJ Likes You

Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.

INFJs are dreamy types who are friendly, private, and intelligent. It can often be hard to tell whether they like you or not.

INFJs are dreamy types who are friendly, private, and intelligent. It can often be hard to tell whether they like you or not.

The INFJ Myers-Briggs personality type is one of the most complicated, mysterious, and alluring when it comes to romance. They honestly have a hard time understanding why you can't tell that they like you because they feel like a bursting volcano, but all of that is below the surface. The introverted, intuitive, feeler, and judger may display romantic feelings for someone in their life in the following ways.

Signs That an INFJ Is Into You

  • An INFJ is hard to read oftentimes because they're modest, slow to move, and yet engaging, charming, and smart. If an INFJ keeps prompting conversations with and always replies to what you say, they're trying to keep it consistent.
  • An INFJ will dress up a little more. This may be hard to tell because an INFJ already has good upkeep of themselves. They may improve their hair, skin, weight, buy a new outfit, etc.
  • An INFJ will struggle with butterflies in their stomach. They might not admit that to you, but if they seem emotionally broad if you spend one-on-one time with them, that's a hint.
  • An INFJ will like it when you touch them. If they touch you, that's a big sign. If you turn them down early on for touching you, they may never approach you again. They're hypersensitive to touch and personal space.
  • The INFJ will linger. In fact, that's probably the biggest clue. They know they've got places and people to see, but if they linger around you long enough maybe you'll ask them out or offer a way to spend more time with them. I believe the INFJ is a professional at lingering. If they never linger, then you're probably not on their radar.
  • If you receive a gigantic, long, well-written text message, you've gotten in their brain bad. They're probably humiliated that they sent such a beast. Regardless of the content, what they're trying to say is "I am enthralled by you... and have so many thoughts right now."
  • If they like you, the INFJ will have giant-sized eyes when they stare at you. If they're really attracted to someone, their whole face opens up.
  • The INFJ is secretive and on top of things. It's kind of like playing chess with someone who already knows how the game ends, except they don't know how to communicate it, and they don't want to creep you out with all the stalking they've done. If they like you, they'll probably spam your Facebook or email with genuinely interesting links, videos, sentences, etc.
  • The INFJ will let you in on their inner world if they like you. They want to make sure that you won't just accept them for their outer qualities, but also for their inner ones, which are pure weird fluid imagination droplets. If they're letting you read their writing, hear their songs, and so forth, they probably like you.
  • Occasionally, a bold INFJ will walk right up to you and tell you they like you. They're tired of waiting for you to get everything together, and they've probably been waiting for a while anyway.
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  • An INFJ will do things for you like bake you things, clean your house, study with you—they're good at acts of service. It doesn't feel too clingy or weird to them.
  • An INFJ will spend a god awful amount of time with you one-on-one. They'll easily stay with you till the sunrises if they like you.
  • An INFJ will let you in on personal details, like what they screwed up or what's happening with their family. Deep stuff that they wouldn't share with just anybody.
  • An INFJ will try to find ways to be around when you around. They'll try to figure out your schedule, and then do that lingering thing they love to do.
  • An INFJ is likely to write a long, handwritten letter.
  • In love, an INFJ will want to have an immersive, powerful relationship. They want to spend time with you, pontificate ideas, and probably won't care about material things. They can have very simple or spontaneous dates.
  • If an INFJ is relaying personal information from their childhood, they're hooked on you.
  • An INFJ may have sudden bursts of laughter, humor, and random singing, noises, and emotions when they are with someone they like. They feel more open around them.
  • An INFJ acts differently around those they like. They feel like it's okay to be more open around them and less to themselves.
  • If they're comfortable enough to tell dirty jokes, this can go one of two ways. They may only see you as a friend, or they may really, super, out-of-control like you. Either way, you're close.

INFJ Physical Touch Cues

  • They grab your hand out of nowhere.
  • They really, really want to dance with you.
  • Having the need to sit right next to you.
  • Again... lingering.
  • Touching their hair or face a lot, smiling, and their eyes being super wide.
  • Plopping their head on you, like your shoulder or back.
  • Lots of facial expressions.
  • Prolonged waiting for a hug.
  • Intense staring.
  • Staying in close proximity to you.

INFJ Emotional Cues

  • An INFJ loses their mind when they latch onto someone emotionally, but it doesn't go anywhere for too long. You might start seeing some complex behavior, like not knowing when to greet you or overabundantly showering you with praise. They're essentially stuck and unsure what to do next. Try to help them out with this limbo by being reassuring. They need to really know you have affections for them.
  • The INFJ is a loyal personality who tends to be monogamous. It's really intense for them to be stuck on one person, but it naturally what they'll do. The idea of being disloyal is really hard for an INFJ. Something strange is going on if the INFJ is disloyal.
  • The INFJ is bound to have a number of friends from several walks of life. This doesn't mean that they're trying to make you jealous, have you compete against suitors, etc. They like spending time with people even though they're introverted. If seeing someone talk to lots of people and it makes you jealous, the INFJ might be a poor pick for you. The INFJ is loyal to the core to their romantic partner, but they need to have other friends, not romantic interests, friends.
  • The INFJ is doing what they can to downplay themselves. They don't want to be overly clingy, and I think they fear being clingy because the energy they have inside is rambunctious. They don't want to scare you.
  • The INFJ isn't super fond of pointless arguments. It wears them out. They want to converse openly and explore ideas, not feel as though an option must be forced and is the only way.
  • The INFJ doesn't like being too practical or down to earth. They want someone that they can explore their weird, imaginative side with. They like someone who is creative, musical, artsy, and philosophical. They worry that if you don't plunge into weirdness with them, then you won't actually truly accept them.
  • An INFJ will overwhelm themselves if they have too much social interaction. If they're hopping from party to party and million other functions—they'll eventually shutdown. If they're really craving space to themselves, let them have it. If you try to pressure them into a conversation when they want to collapse, you'll just make them grumpy.
  • An INFJ when they like someone hardcore may overt eye contact and fiddle with nearby objects to distract themselves. Engage in conversation with them, and this social awkwardness will die down. They're just nervous and trying to get over the nerves and be cool.
  • A talkative INFJ is a good sign. If all they're doing is being quiet, then they might not feel comfortable to share themselves.
  • An INFJ may have sudden bouts of being forward. This personality has a lot of energy, and in the right setting, with the right person, they lose their fears and just go for it.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2015 Andrea Lawrence

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