Tips for Loving and Dating a Virgo

Updated on September 5, 2017
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Jo is an eclectic witch with a degree in Psychology and an obsession with novena candles. She primarily practices hoodoo and angel magick.

Everything You Need to Know About Dating a Virgo

Full disclosure: I'm a prototypical Virgo. I have a collection of day planners and a keen obsession with organizers to prove it. With that in mind, I hope to answer some of the most important concerns other signs may have when it comes to dating a lady Virgo!

What a Virgo Needs in a Relationship

There are a few basic needs that everyone in a healthy relationship has, regardless of star sign, but I'm going to single out the most essential relationship needs from a Virgo perspective:

  • Security
  • Stability
  • Affection (but on their terms)
  • Decisiveness
  • Intelligence
  • Challenge

Let's break this down a bit more.

Why Virgos need security: As an earth sign, Virgos are naturally preoccupied with the material. Contrary to popular belief, this isn't a bad thing! When other signs get lost in the clouds, Virgos are the ones tethering creativity and spirituality to the everyday chores and tasks that keep the world running. While Virgos are often drawn to more passionate signs to complement their own steadfastness, they do require a certain amount of security in any relationship. A Virgo woman especially needs to know her partner is going to be there for the long haul. The good news is, a little goes a long way when it comes to making a Virgo woman feel secure in a relationship! We tend to be very down-to-earth ladies, so small gestures that you're thinking of her and invested in building a relationship are all she needs. Of course, the odd extravagant getaway never hurt anyone! ;)

Stability: The fastest way to send a Virgo woman running for the hills is a life of wandering or any other form of perceived instability. It's not to say that there's anything wrong with the vagabond life, but all signs have relationship "sweet spots," and a Virgo woman generally needs stability and a certain degree of normalcy to thrive. This means that the ideal partner for a Virgo woman is a man or woman who will balance out her down-to-earth tendencies with big vision and passion while maintaining the work ethic and commitment to keeping the bills paid, the lights on and not flitting from one get rich quick scheme to the next. If you are looking to build an empire and a life, there is no better partner than a Virgo woman!

Affection: It's a common (and unfortunate!) misconception that Virgo women aren't affectionate. We are, but much like the household feline, we want affection on our terms. Flashy PDAs are more likely to embarrass than flatter a Virgo woman. A kiss on the cheek or a squeeze of the hand in public goes a long way toward telling the world, "I'm hers and she's mine" without interfering with her need to maintain public decorum. As any long-term partner of a Virgo woman can tell you, there's no lack of passion behind closed doors!

Decisiveness: If you want a surefire way to annoy a Virgo woman, engage in an endless round of, "I don't know, what do you want to eat?" Virgos in general are known for being good leaders, but only when we have to be. For the most part, a Virgo woman would much rather leave the non-essentials up to a decisive partner whose judgment she trusts. As you can imagine, this makes Virgo-Gemini partnerships particularly sticky!

Intelligence: I don't know if there's ever been a study on the number of signs who identify as Sapiosexual, but if there has, I'd be willing to bet that Virgos make up a big slice of the pie chart! Nothing attracts a Virgo woman like a keen intellect and a quick wit, but that doesn't mean you have to be a super genius to get the attention of the cute Virgo at your office. Intelligence is all about a desire for knowledge and the ability to communicate it clearly, a skill that will win you the adoration of many a Virgo. The good news is that there are many forms of intelligence (check out Gardner's book on multiple intelligences for more information) and everyone is good at something. There is no better way to stimulate a Virgo woman's interest than by engaging in a lively and open discussion about a topic that interests you both!

Challenge: As an earth sign, Virgos have a tendency to become entrenched in our--well--Virgoness. This means that more than any other sign, we have a strong need for a partner with complementary attributes. They say opposites attract for a reason! Even if you are another analytical sign, in order for things to work long-term with a Virgo woman, you must possess some attributes she is either lacking in or deficient in in order to experience mutual growth. This isn't to say that Virgo women like to be challenged or contradicted at every turn (hah! That'll go over like a lead balloon.) It just means that we thrive most in relationships where there is a lot of give and take, and where the perspective differences between partners lead to new revelations rather than constant conflict or stagnancy.


Relationship Dealbreakers for Virgos

For the most part, Virgos are among the most loyal, stable, "ride or die" partners you can find. A Virgo woman will stand with you, build with you, navigate all of life's ups and downs with you--but you have to be worth it. Don't let the easygoing nature of most Virgo women fool you. As with any sign led by the head moreso than the heart, Virgos have a strong sense of what is and isn't a relationship deal breaker.

  • Infidelity: While a fire sign woman might have an equally fiery reaction to news that her partner's been unfaithful, a Virgo never forgets and never forgives. There are some who manage to look past an isolated incidence of infidelity, but it's not common. A fulfilled Virgo woman knows her worth and knows that if he (or she) cheated once, it's very likely they'll cheat again.
  • Indecisiveness: Again, Virgos have the strongest need for stability out of any sign. A Virgo woman--especially one who is more traditionally minded--will have little patience for a partner who changes life plans with the seasons.
  • The spark just isn't there: You might be tempted to think that chemistry is less important to a stable earth sign, but Virgo women take the same analytical brush to their romance life as all other aspects of life. When a Virgo woman is looking for a long-time partner, romantic compatibility is one of the factors she considers most strongly. She is far more likely to check out of a relationship with no potential for chemistry than to invest more of her time and energy.
  • Dishonesty: If there is one thing a Virgo woman can't abide, it's a liar. And trust me, even if it's only a string of "little white lies" you tell other people in her presence, she's cataloging that information because she knows you're just as likely to lie to her in the future. Virgos are known for being honest--sometimes to a fault--and we have a strong sense of pride. Other signs may be hurt when they realize their partner has lied to them. A Virgo, no matter how small or big the lie is, will feel insulted, condescended to and disrespected.
  • Embarrassment: Again, as an earth sign, the ego is strong within the Virgo woman. I don't mean ego in the sense that it is traditionally understood. Virgos tend to be incredibly realistic about their own limitations as well as others. It's one of the reasons we have a reputation for being the most critical sign! The ego manifests itself in the Virgo woman as a strong need to conform to expectations of what is appropriate, and those expectations just as often come from within as without. If you embarrass a Virgo woman in public, whether by constantly correcting her, nitpicking her outfit or even just being excessively affectionate in a way that makes her uncomfortable, she may not say anything at the moment to save face, but she's looking for the nearest exit.

Why You Love Your Virgo Woman

We Virgo women are a complicated group. On the one hand, we may seem cold and analytical to the outside observer, but we can be very sensitive in more subtle ways. We're not always good at striking the balance between communicating our needs and sparing your feelings, but if you have a thick skin and are able to effectively communicate your needs in a relationship, a Virgo woman is one of the loyalest, most attentive partners you could find.

Virgo women are affectionate, and incredibly open to meeting the emotional needs of our partners. The problem is, we can be a bit too left-brained to always guess what those needs are! For this reason, Virgo women are best matched to decisive, emotionally aware partners who know what they want and need and aren't afraid to communicate that in a loving way.

Oh, and did I mention the Virgo woman is a natural builder? What does this mean, exactly? It means that Virgo women are in it for the long haul and not afraid to get our hands dirty when it comes to the tough stuff that makes other relationships crumble. Because Virgo is such an analytical sign, she is able to see things--including spiritual and highly charged emotional subject matter that would be too sensitive for other signs to navigate analytically--with an objectivity that eludes most people. Virgo is a strong, stable partner, and as long as you are willing to put in your share of the work, she'll uphold her end.

Romantically, the Virgo woman is like a flower in blossom. Virgo love is a slow burn affair, but once you have her commitment, things in the romance department will keep getting better rather than fizzling out over time. As your relationship grows, so will the intimacy between you.

The Virgo Compatibility Breakdown (Contains Adult Language)

Virgo Compatibility

When it comes to Virgo compatibility, the tendency of many Virgos to be shy on the outset may lead to the impression that they are more compatible with a wider range of signs than is actually the case. While your star sign is meant to point you toward introspection and not to serve as a hard and fast list of signs to exclude from your dating pool, it can be helpful to know which signs are most ideal for dating a Virgo. Virgo and Scorpio and Taurus and Virgo are by far the most astrologically friendly matches, but other popular matches include Virgo and Cancer and Virgo and Capricorn.

Virgo and Scorpio

Virgo and Scorpio is a Virgo compatibility match that is known for producing twin flame pairings. We all know what happens when fire meets water, but earth and this fiery leaning water sign is another match that is not to be underestimated! As the most passionate sign of the Zodiac, Scorpio is an excellent match for bringing out Virgo's hidden passions. Scorpio men also tend to see the cool and collected Virgo woman as a refreshing challenge, but care must be taken to keep the flames of passion alive once Scorpio's desire for "conquest" of Virgo's heart is achieved. When a Virgo woman and a Scorpio man get together, the opposing forces are guaranteed to propel the relationship forward. If the relationship is built on stable ground and mutual individual compatibility, the forward momentum will be incredibly positive and productive.

The Virgo man is intrinsically drawn to the Virgo woman's stability, coolness and logical perspective on life. As a male water sign, Scorpio is deeply in touch with his emotions in a way that complements the Virgo woman's analytical nature, creating a relationship dynamic that is highly balanced. However, if the Scorpio man is too emotional or the Virgo woman is too analytical and out of touch with her emotions, this subversion of the traditional masculine-feminine dynamic could lead to restlessness. The Virgo woman is not the most sensitive by nature, so she'll have to learn to be gentler with her razor sharp (if accurate) criticisms, and the Scorpio man will have to learn to see the value in the constructive criticism Virgo provides.

Taurus and Virgo

Taurus and Virgo are both earth signs, so a partnership between a Taurus man and a Virgo woman is bound to be stable. The problem is that too much of a good thing can lead to stagnancy and boredom in the relationship. Virgos tend to be prone to anxiety and doubt, so a Taurus man's unwavering confidence and even keeled approach to life is incredibly reassuring for the average Virgo woman. In a healthy Taurus and Virgo dynamic, Virgo's need for material and emotional security is met, allowing her to thrive and expose a more vulnerable side of her nature to her Taurus partner. Secured and fulfilled, the Virgo woman is able to express her feminine qualities and attributes comfortably, and the Taurus man is valued for his steadfastness that other signs may find "boring."

Would you ever date a Virgo woman?

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