How an Aquarius Falls in Love

Updated on July 6, 2016

Introduction: What is an Aquarius?

The water bearer is an incredible sign. It has a massive capacity for love. Aquarius is known as the humanitarian, constantly getting to know people, drifting around like a butterfly hoping to help others. Aquarius is by nature a healer, and an odd duck. There are so many inaccurate astrological explanations of this sign which is dominated by a feminine energy (doesn't mean you don't have masculinity), by wind and arguably also water, and a sereneness that isn't easily matched. This creature of the lagoon is one of the most calm, thoughtful, creative, and sensitive beasts on the planet. It hides its heart often because it doesn't want to be hurt and because it sees the value in itself. If it doesn't see that value -- it may go on a destructive dating streak. Capturing an Aquarius and bringing her a little closer to see what's in that heart of their's isn't easy. An Aquarius will come to you through consistency. You can't win an Aquarius if you're constantly thinking about yourself and moving. You see, an Aquarius will move from sea to sea, from continent to continent, picking up new ideas and loving them. They don't expect someone to actually try to get them to be with them. They figure people will be too interested in their jobs, their responsibilities, and everything else to do the right math with them and make things work. They'll busy themselves with everything else rather than a relationship for as long as possible. The only more independent and single sign above this one is Virgo, the perfectionist.

What makes an Aquarius attractive?

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Winning the Aquarius Heart

Aquarius isn't simply won over by chocolates, flowers, compliments, or flattery. They will appreciate those things, but what they really need is loyalty. They need to know you really, truly love them. They need to know you will stay and things are safe. They're not going to realistically open up to you until that safety is provided. It takes time, otherwise they may come off superficial -- although that is not their intent.

What an Aquarius needs is to know that someone has planted their feet in the ground and can handle a dynamite amount of affection and love. You see, people get the Aquarius wrong all the time because this zodiac is so secretive. It's difficult for people to write about an Aquarius unless they experience it themselves. This sign is more like Pisces than Capricorn. It is a wind sign, but often relates better with water signs. All the thinking it does comes from a place of the heart and people. It isn't emotionless; it is a powerful source of energy. This is why it is often swept up by more emotional signs, and often is scared of more dominate signs that make it feel threatened. Aquarius even though esoteric and weird to the max, needs a simple date. If you really want to win them over, they need a break from the world and all its stimulus. If you take them on wild dates, you'll make it difficult for them to find you. There are too many distractions in the way. Keep the dates simple. Take them out to dinner, watch movies with them, do things one on one. Double dates don't make sense to this personality. There would be the underlying question of: why are we doing this, when can we just be together?

Aquarius is All About Joy

Aquarius is up high in the sky. You'll have to lasso them and slowly let them drift into the romantic plane of reality. They live in ideas, in hopes, in dreams. They love to be imaginative. They fear that if they are too creative, you'll leave them. So don't mind them as they drift to a more grounded romance and also shoot into the sky and come up with the most off the wall observations you have ever heard. If you can accept them for who they are in the clouds, then they'll come to the ground to be with you. If you tell them they are too weird or you don't like their narratives -- they'll cut their loses and find someone who does appreciate them for this quality they possess. You'll scare them if you cut them short for their weirdness. This weirdness is their trump card -- it's how they make good grades, do work well, and create beautiful things. They can't feasibly turn it off. So if this spark isn't something you enjoy, then don't date them. You'll only confuse and hurt them. But if you enjoy the beauty of what they're doing, then get closer to them so they can share that big, beautiful, crazy, and wonderful imagination with you. They'll fall for you if you enjoy them. You don't necessarily have to understand them -- they want to be enjoyed. They want to be your joy, not your annoyance.

Their Greatest Desires

Aquarians desire to be safe. They are sensitive souls, both in thought and emotion. If someone makes them feel threatened, or worse abused, they'll do what they can to escape. They need a harmonious environment, which may seem paradoxical since Aquarians are known for uprooting what's around them. They want to change things to help them be authentic and real, because Aquarius has a constant existential crisis that the world around them is fake. Reality is what they seek to restore. They seek to restore it and have harmony surround them. If you are an enjoyable, harmonious presence to them, they'll be attracted to you. But if you jump at them, try to shame them, make them feel less than who they are -- you'll really hurt them. Don't try to attract them by that kind of paternal seriousness. Attract them by your smile, your eyes, your comfort. Aquarius are in desperate need of real comfort that is lasting. There are so many things in their lives that seem like they're constantly changing, and sometimes Aquarius just wants something they can really hold.

Aquarius Sees Love as Blue

When an Aquarius likes someone, they'll feel comfortable. They believe in passion, but when they get closer to romance, they might suddenly see things in shades of blue. They've been told their whole lives that passion is red, it is ardent, it is heated. But this recipe has never worked for Aquarius. That is a more masculine idea that has never fit -- and has only made the Aquarius feel small or anxious. They see things in softer shades of blue, where things are calm like the sea, easy to touch, easy to grasp, and comforting. They want someone who can be like a marshmallow, a blanket, a cloud, or a nap on the beach. Part of Aquarius' problem is they're being taught love like a Leo, but that's how Leo perceives the world -- with fire. Aquarius sees the world as ice -- so how can that translate to love? By the softer, sweeter things. When they can sleep in someone's arms, when they can relax into romance, and when they can subside rather than feel like a bull chasing after red. It's really difficult for them to find patches of love in this world because how they interpret and see the world is so different. Red isn't the dress for Aquarius; it's blue. The one who can really make them feel calm and comfortable, who can match that aspect about themselves -- will win their heart. Besides, until our blood is oxidized... it is blue.

Slow and Introspective

Take it slow with an Aquarius. To properly date an Aquarius you need to take it slow because they are inherently introspective. They need to take their time to think about things, which helps ground them into romance. They need to think about the way you held their hand for the first time and analyze it to the moon and back.

They need to slow down the words you say and really process it.

They are information seekers, not information actants. Some people move with the speed of lightning, while others build who they are one piece of snow at a time. Aquarius is symbolized by winter, and a lot of her secrets come from the season. You can't rush the cold. You have to let it slowly build and build and build. I mean, that is the feminine way. ;)

Aquarius may seem too soft and quiet when you get close, but they really just take awhile to get to know and heat up. There is an unexpected amount of depth with Aquarians, and they are not all surface level. They have great range, but they don't (and can't) show it all at once. They give you pieces at a time. They need time to give you pieces of themselves effectively, a rushed relationship doesn't work for an Aquarius, even if they dabble in speed... it doesn't hold water for them.

Questions & Answers

  • How do I know if an Aquarius loves me when she is talking to other guys as well?

    People can talk to anyone of any gender. Now is she having sexually motivated conversations with these men or are they her friends? It sounds like you may be jealous.

  • How do I know if an Aquarius loves me when she is looking for other prospects as well?

    If she is looking for other prospects, she probably does not love you at this time.


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    • profile image 

      24 hours ago

      What about the Aquarius man?

    • profile image


      3 months ago


      Feb pisced on the cusp of Aquaruis and my bf is a Aquaruis. Unlike most things i read about Aquaruis we connected pretty instantly but he is very much an Aquaruis in behavior. I think he fell for me because i was so open, honest, and intelligent. But i am so oblivious of all of that i am just me unjaded and free spirited. I would focus on being more of a Pisces and less Aries if that makes sense focus on the beauty within everything else will fall into place.

    • profile image


      6 months ago

      This article fits me too a T! I need to feel safe in a relationship and loyalty is my number one need, too. I hold things close to the vest because I do not want anyone to take advantage of my heart. I work hard, play hard and love hard. At least I know there is someone in the universe who truly understands me. I don't like to rush things, either. Let it build and build and build until it reaches a plateau. We love falling in love, but we want a lasting love......Nothing less will do!!!!!

    • profile image

      Niah Aquagurl 

      7 months ago

      Aquarius is a masculine energy.

    • profile image


      8 months ago

      I'm a pisces, right on the pisces aries cusp. A very close friend of mine who is heavily involved in astrology tells me that I confuse her because I'm not "textbook" pisces. I'm an istj as well. I have a heart, but it's so hard for me to allow people in. when I do though, my love is hard and deep. My boyfriend is an aquarius. We rushed into the relationship after only a few days of knowing each other. (not common for me at all). I'm an over thinker and one who usually takes a LOT of time to get to know an individual, so now I'm having a lot of worries. Because I didnt take the time to get to know him like I'd usually do, i havent had the time to watch and observe (i study people), so now I dont know what to expect from him or even how to be satisfying to him in this relationship. Not speaking on sexual terms, but in general. I'm so used to being "too much". In past relationships i've been called too clingy, too emotional, even too loving. So to keep this man happy, what should i look for or what things should i do? How can i contribute to being a good partner....are we even compatible? please help.

    • profile image

      Zinia Nasrin 

      9 months ago

      It's true. I'm an Aquarius woman. I appreciate this article.So happy to read. Many thanks to find myself in your article.

    • profile image


      10 months ago

      What about aquarius man and aquarius woman love compatibility? I am best friend with an aquarius man for a long time, we are both sun and ascendant aquarians. A year ago, things have been changed. I tried to get closer to him, emotionally, not sexually, but never forget friendship. It need a time between us. I noted aquarians also make a difference between friendship and love. But.. friend zone sometimes is more comfortable. Even when emotional connection become deeper, and keep it deeper, need for freedom and space is to be respected. I need to adapt to that... it's not difficult for me. I'm looking forward for a feedback.

    • profile image


      10 months ago

      Reading this makes me have an whole new perspective of the Aquarius, especially this one young Aquarius man. After reading your words, I thought of him and I am wondering what kind of landscape he will be...Anyways, your article is quite magical :)

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      10 months ago from Chicago

      I do have a hub on Aquarius and Gemini. They have really high compatibility. The two are both communication driven and kind of misunderstood, so they gel well together.

    • profile image


      11 months ago

      How do you find the compatibility between Aquarius man and Gemini woman?

      It would be nice if you would write such an article about Gemini because we also always feel weird, hihi.

    • profile image


      12 months ago

      Hands down the best executed and honest depiction. Literally brought me to tears with its poignant accuracy and gave voice to what was voiceless.

    • profile image


      12 months ago

      I'm a Scorpio I really love my Aquarius, we are still the best of friends even though we broke up. Do you think we'll get back together?

    • profile image


      13 months ago

      What about aquarius man and scorpio woman compatibility?

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      13 months ago from Chicago

      I think INTJ is very fitting for an Aquarius type. I don't think that would make her weird at all. INTJ and Aquarius are both intuition driven personalities. I have met some eccentric INTJ folk. They are usually very clever. So yeah, I can see this being a good match.

    • Dzejn82 profile image


      13 months ago from Slovakia

      I've never read nothing so accurate and in same time nice about Aquarius. I always feel different, most of time people consider me as cold hearted, but finally someone who see trough :-) Excellent.

      What if Aquarius woman is also INTJ? Does it make her more "weird" and hard to understand?

      Thank you

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      14 months ago from Chicago

      Excellent! I'm glad to hear from you.

    • profile image


      14 months ago

      this made me cry! thank you for writing it.

    • profile image


      14 months ago

      This is the most accurate article ive read! I'm an Aquarius Pisces cusp with a scorpio moon. I'm also an INFP! talk about intense lol.. I love the ability to feel so deeply and still sprinkle a little logic on top (even in love). ☺

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      15 months ago from Chicago

      I would say an INFP Aquarius is going to be pretty dreamy and aloof. INFP has a hard time concentrating on what the rest of the world feels is important. Aquarius is a natural humanitarian, and so is INFP, but the INFP is really known as the dreamer. They probably won't make attachments to things easily, while also having their head in the clouds while trying to make it innovative.

    • profile image


      15 months ago

      This makes a lot of sense.

      So if an Aquarius woman is also INFP, does that intensify the whimsical aspects of both? Does the combination create complete wackiness? :)

      (Sometimes I feel this way.....completely wacky:)

      I'd love to read your take on this.

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      15 months ago from Chicago

      Thank you. Love to know I can strike a chord.

    • profile image


      15 months ago

      So beautiful and positive. Unlike any article I have read before.

      Beautiful writing.

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      Very nice. Seen at


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