Skip to main content
Updated date:

How an Aquarius Falls in Love

Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.

What Is an Aquarius?

The water bearer is an incredible sign. It has a massive capacity for love. Aquarius is known as the humanitarian, constantly getting to know people, drifting around like a butterfly hoping to help others. Aquarius is by nature a healer and an odd duck. There are so many inaccurate astrological explanations of this sign which is dominated by a feminine energy (doesn't mean you don't have masculinity), by wind and arguably also water, and a sereneness that isn't easily matched. This creature of the lagoon is one of the calmest, thoughtful, creative, and sensitive beasts on the planet. It hides its heart often because it doesn't want to be hurt and because it sees the value in itself. If it doesn't see that value, it may go on a destructive dating streak.

Capturing an Aquarius and bringing her a little closer to see what's in that heart of their's isn't easy. An Aquarius will come to you through consistency. You can't win an Aquarius if you're constantly thinking about yourself and moving. You see, an Aquarius will move from sea to sea, from continent to continent, picking up new ideas and loving them. They don't expect someone to actually try to get them to be with them. They figure people will be too interested in their jobs, their responsibilities, and everything else to do the right math with them and make things work. They'll busy themselves with everything else rather than a relationship for as long as possible. The only more independent and single sign above this one is Virgo, the perfectionist.


Winning the Aquarius Heart

Aquarius isn't simply won over by chocolates, flowers, compliments, or flattery. They will appreciate those things, but what they really need is loyalty. They need to know you really, truly love them. They need to know you will stay, and things are safe. They're not going to realistically open up to you until that safety is provided. It takes time; otherwise, they may come off superficial, although that is not their intent.

What an Aquarius needs is to know that someone has planted their feet in the ground and can handle a dynamite amount of affection and love. You see, people get the Aquarius wrong all the time because this zodiac is so secretive. It's difficult for people to write about an Aquarius unless they experience it themselves. This sign is more like Pisces than Capricorn. It is a wind sign, but often relates better with water signs. All the thinking it does comes from a place of the heart and people. It isn't emotionless; it is a powerful source of energy. This is why it is often swept up by more emotional signs, and often is scared of more dominate signs that make it feel threatened. Aquarius, even though esoteric and weird to the max, needs a simple date. If you really want to win them over, they need a break from the world and all its stimulus. If you take them on wild dates, you'll make it difficult for them to find you. There are too many distractions in the way. Keep the dates simple. Take them out to dinner, watch movies with them, do things one on one. Double dates don't make sense to this personality. There would be the underlying question of: why are we doing this, when can we just be together?


Aquarius Is All About Joy

Aquarius is up high in the sky. You'll have to lasso them and slowly let them drift into the romantic plane of reality. They live in ideas, in hopes, in dreams. They love to be imaginative. They fear that if they are too creative, you'll leave them. So don't mind them as they drift to a more grounded romance and also shoot into the sky and come up with the most off the wall observations you have ever heard. If you can accept them for who they are in the clouds, then they'll come to the ground to be with you. If you tell them they are too weird, or you don't like their narratives—they'll cut their losses and find someone who does appreciate them for this quality they possess. You'll scare them if you cut them short for their weirdness. This weirdness is their trump card—it's how they make good grades, do work well, and create beautiful things. They can't feasibly turn it off. So if this spark isn't something you enjoy, then don't date them. You'll only confuse and hurt them. But if you enjoy the beauty of what they're doing, then get closer to them so they can share that big, beautiful, crazy, and wonderful imagination with you. They'll fall for you if you enjoy them. You don't necessarily have to understand them—they want to be enjoyed. They want to be your joy, not your annoyance.

Their Greatest Desires

Aquarians desire to be safe. They are sensitive souls, both in thought and emotion. If someone makes them feel threatened or worse abused, they'll do what they can to escape. They need a harmonious environment, which may seem paradoxical since Aquarians are known for uprooting what's around them. They want to change things to help them be authentic and real, because Aquarius has a constant existential crisis that the world around them is fake. Reality is what they seek to restore. They seek to restore it and have harmony surround them. If you are an enjoyable, harmonious presence to them, they'll be attracted to you. But if you jump at them, try to shame them, make them feel less than who they are, you'll really hurt them. Don't try to attract them by that kind of paternal seriousness. Attract them by your smile, your eyes, your comfort. Aquarius are in desperate need of real comfort that is lasting. There are so many things in their lives that seem like they're constantly changing, and sometimes Aquarius just wants something they can really hold.


Aquarius Sees Love as Blue

When an Aquarius likes someone, they'll feel comfortable. They believe in passion, but when they get closer to romance, they might suddenly see things in shades of blue. They've been told their whole lives that passion is red, it is ardent, it is heated. But this recipe has never worked for Aquarius. That is a more masculine idea that has never fit, and has only made the Aquarius feel small or anxious. They see things in softer shades of blue, where things are calm like the sea, easy to touch, easy to grasp, and comforting. They want someone who can be like a marshmallow, a blanket, a cloud, or a nap on the beach. Part of Aquarius' problem is they're being taught love like a Leo, but that's how Leo perceives the world—with fire. Aquarius sees the world as ice, so how can that translate to love? By the softer, sweeter things. When they can sleep in someone's arms, when they can relax into romance, and when they can subside rather than feel like a bull chasing after red. It's really difficult for them to find patches of love in this world because how they interpret and see the world is so different. Red isn't the dress for Aquarius; it's blue. The one who can really make them feel calm and comfortable, who can match that aspect about themselves will win their heart.

Slow and Introspective

Take it slow with an Aquarius. To properly date an Aquarius, you need to take it slow because they are inherently introspective. They need to take their time to think about things, which helps ground them into romance. They need to think about the way you held their hand for the first time and analyze it to the moon and back.

They need to slow down the words you say and really process it. They are information seekers, not information actants. Some people move with the speed of lightning, while others build who they are one piece of snow at a time. Aquarius is symbolized by winter, and a lot of her secrets come from the season. You can't rush the cold. You have to let it slowly build and build and build. I mean, that is the feminine way.

Aquarius may seem too soft and quiet when you get close, but they really just take a while to get to know and heat up. There is an unexpected amount of depth with Aquarians, and they are not all surface level. They have great range, but they don't (and can't) show it all at once. They give you pieces at a time. They need time to give you pieces of themselves effectively; a rushed relationship doesn't work for an Aquarius, even if they dabble in speed, it doesn't hold water for them.

Questions & Answers

Question: How do I know if an Aquarius loves me when she is talking to other guys as well?

Answer: People can talk to anyone of any gender. Now is she having sexually motivated conversations with these men or are they her friends? It sounds like you may be jealous.

Question: How do I know if an Aquarius loves me when she is looking for other prospects as well?

Answer: If she is looking for other prospects, she probably does not love you at this time.

© 2016 Andrea Lawrence


Confused Libra on September 01, 2020:

Aquarian men help! Libra woman here confused as hell, texting with an Aqua for months all was great and then he went cold. Went from texting first thing in the am and last thing in the eve to hardly at all. Still wants to meet for drinks once a month or so, likes my social media posts but the all day texting stopped and I feel his demeanor changed as well, went from warm to cold but not completely gonners .... I don't get it, if not into me anymore why bother?.

Read More From Pairedlife

Kore on July 30, 2020:

As an Aquarius, Thank You. Thank you so much for this. Never felt this sign being so seen and heard ❤️ Often feels misunderstood. This is really beautiful.

Thank you, thank you, thank you

Laurel on July 23, 2020:

I’m an Aquarius. Ditto what Bri said.

Bri on July 23, 2020:

This article is amazing. I’m an Aquarius and this summed me up so well. So moving. Felt understood and known. I’ve never read an article on Aquarius that summed us up so perfectly. Thanks!

Sands on July 07, 2020:

Does being an aquarius only refer to sun people or moon in aquarius too?

I'm an aqua moon and i strongly relate to everything written here.


Bobby on July 06, 2020:

Thats me! Omg! Thats me

Nicole on April 17, 2020:

As an astrologer myself, this article is very accurate for Aquarians. I'm a scorpio female but all my life ive had aquarius friends and lovers. I thought it was my sagittarius stellium + rising that attracted them.

However, i have a new aquarius partner and he's a Pisces stellium. Hes very romantic, dreamy like, highly intelligent, very rational, shy, quiet, always thinking about something and helpful to people.

We started as really good friends, i supposed so i do value our friendship. It is true, they are sensitive souls so you do need to be mindful of their feelings. Overall, this article is the best one out there on them.

- an aquarius lover

Magestic Pro on April 06, 2020:

Thank you so much sir you have identified us to a beautiful level ...Yours truly an Aquarius ♒️

Shraddha on January 19, 2020:

This is so true ..

Peace on December 31, 2019:

Nicely written and truly accurate

Devin R on December 13, 2019:

I'm not an Aquarius sun sign but I am an Aquarius acendant and I find that this definitely pertains to how I express my love and find it quite accurate as a whole

PJ Hoffmaster on December 10, 2019:

I am so impressed by your write-up of the Aquarius personality. Why have I never seen it articulated so accurately before? Why is Aquarius so misunderstood by so many? Thank you so much for your insight. I would love to read more of your work. Do you have your own website?

Queen Suyat on September 15, 2019:

Hii. This is the best description of an Aquarius. I am one. It’s interesting because I’ve always liked the cold. My birth name is also Queen, so I’m like the Ice Queen but I’m actually warm, but in a very cool way.

Motso on August 24, 2019:

I’m friends/colleague with an this woman I’ve only come to know recently that she’s Aquarius ,we come a long way and she’s been friend zoning me all a long and I was made aware by people around me that she likes me more than friends,she smiles flirts and buy me small things but we fight like mad but then make up,to cut the long story short of lately she let’s touch her,we share a bed but just cuddle the whole night,she gave me a small kiss in my lips recently,we fought again only this time I walked away and ghosted her like she does to me all the time,it’s the second time she tells me she loves me at first she said I love u my friend then last night she said she loves me no friend added,what does it mean?im even afraid to ask what she’s on about please advice,she knows how I feel about her and never made it a secret just settled for friendship cause that’s what she wanted.....please advice what do I do?

Rhei on August 21, 2019:

Thanks for posting something new about Aquarius. My husband is an aqua and this describes him accurately!

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on August 02, 2019:

Ah, thank goodness. I like the reassurance from Aquarius types that the way other people are writing about this sign is off by a thousand miles.

Kimberly on July 31, 2019:

Thank you so much, you described me so accurately, we Aquarius always get talked about like we are some kind of weird unhinged unemotional unfeeling creature, a lot of the descriptions of Aquas are blatant lies but you nailed this on the head, this is what us true Aquarius actually are like! Most people misunderstand us all the time and they don't realize how hurtful that is to us, so Thank you so much, you described me to a tee! Peace and love

Bianca on July 08, 2019:

Excellent article from an Aquarian women who is setiously contemplating a desirable relationtionship with a Scorpio male. Great job describing Aquarians to a T!!!

Lowe on June 21, 2019:

Beautifully written

Paria on April 05, 2019:

As an Aqua female, this article was so flawless. I honestly was able to relate to all of it. Well written and well put.

Thank you,

J.J. on March 31, 2019:

Dear Andrea,

What do you mean by ‘ An Aquarius will come to you through consistency. ‘?

Dolly Regvel on March 15, 2019:

Absolutely love it!! No other person or article has described me to this best.. So happy to know that someone actually understands the true us even if we try our best to hide them.. Thanks a ton for this positive and deeply rooted truth about us

Feeling amazing

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on January 17, 2019:

Thank you for your comment. I do believe any combination will work, but the recipe for each is different... and not everybody likes every pairing. We have to understand the other person's preferences and what makes them tick to get along long term.

Fairy on January 15, 2019:

Like this is the best article that finally made my Aquarius facts list 10/10!

I always read Aqua facts just to censor the memes and i always came up with one point or two that i would like to have crossed out or rephrased because they are just a misunderstanding of who i am as an aqua, then i stumbled upon this. Id just like to give an honorable mention to “us desiring to be safe and comfortable especially in love,” because that is always misunderstood. People think we’re compatible with the typical sag or leo or aries or gemini just because we love adventure or fun or agressiveness or “burning red” passion - that is correct in terms of associations or if we’re talking about food buddy, travel buddy, party buddy, or even fuck buddy; but in all reality, when we finally decide to commit our heart and soul to someone, all we want is to finally feel safe and comfortable. We want to be tamed. We want to be completely vulnerable. Of course, we still want our freedom and space (ALWAYS, EVEN IF HELL BREAKS LOOSE), but we also want to be in a stable and mature relationship or we’ll just suck all the fun out of this universe until we die. So i think in relationships, we aquarius women need a secure and mature earth male sign or a bestfriend-to-lover Libra man. Secure and mature earth sign because earth signs tend to be secretly emotional especially tauruses and we aqua can only handle so much drama. Caps too are like wine, the older the finer! Well, i get so well with virgos so i think they’re a good match to us aquas, just maintain honest communication no matter how awkward things would get. Libra, on the other hand, are the perfect match to us imo. But make sure your Libra lover is your best friend first so they don’t flirt so much and think you’re cool with it.

NP on July 30, 2018:


Feb pisced on the cusp of Aquaruis and my bf is a Aquaruis. Unlike most things i read about Aquaruis we connected pretty instantly but he is very much an Aquaruis in behavior. I think he fell for me because i was so open, honest, and intelligent. But i am so oblivious of all of that i am just me unjaded and free spirited. I would focus on being more of a Pisces and less Aries if that makes sense focus on the beauty within everything else will fall into place.

Denise on April 21, 2018:

This article fits me too a T! I need to feel safe in a relationship and loyalty is my number one need, too. I hold things close to the vest because I do not want anyone to take advantage of my heart. I work hard, play hard and love hard. At least I know there is someone in the universe who truly understands me. I don't like to rush things, either. Let it build and build and build until it reaches a plateau. We love falling in love, but we want a lasting love......Nothing less will do!!!!!

Niah Aquagurl on March 20, 2018:

Aquarius is a masculine energy.

Brittany on March 08, 2018:

I'm a pisces, right on the pisces aries cusp. A very close friend of mine who is heavily involved in astrology tells me that I confuse her because I'm not "textbook" pisces. I'm an istj as well. I have a heart, but it's so hard for me to allow people in. when I do though, my love is hard and deep. My boyfriend is an aquarius. We rushed into the relationship after only a few days of knowing each other. (not common for me at all). I'm an over thinker and one who usually takes a LOT of time to get to know an individual, so now I'm having a lot of worries. Because I didnt take the time to get to know him like I'd usually do, i havent had the time to watch and observe (i study people), so now I dont know what to expect from him or even how to be satisfying to him in this relationship. Not speaking on sexual terms, but in general. I'm so used to being "too much". In past relationships i've been called too clingy, too emotional, even too loving. So to keep this man happy, what should i look for or what things should i do? How can i contribute to being a good partner....are we even compatible? please help.

Zinia Nasrin on January 30, 2018:

It's true. I'm an Aquarius woman. I appreciate this article.So happy to read. Many thanks to find myself in your article.

Adriana on January 07, 2018:

What about aquarius man and aquarius woman love compatibility? I am best friend with an aquarius man for a long time, we are both sun and ascendant aquarians. A year ago, things have been changed. I tried to get closer to him, emotionally, not sexually, but never forget friendship. It need a time between us. I noted aquarians also make a difference between friendship and love. But.. friend zone sometimes is more comfortable. Even when emotional connection become deeper, and keep it deeper, need for freedom and space is to be respected. I need to adapt to that... it's not difficult for me. I'm looking forward for a feedback.

O_O on December 22, 2017:

Reading this makes me have an whole new perspective of the Aquarius, especially this one young Aquarius man. After reading your words, I thought of him and I am wondering what kind of landscape he will be...Anyways, your article is quite magical :)

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on December 19, 2017:

I do have a hub on Aquarius and Gemini. They have really high compatibility. The two are both communication driven and kind of misunderstood, so they gel well together.

Gemini on December 14, 2017:

How do you find the compatibility between Aquarius man and Gemini woman?

It would be nice if you would write such an article about Gemini because we also always feel weird, hihi.

Cody on November 04, 2017:

Hands down the best executed and honest depiction. Literally brought me to tears with its poignant accuracy and gave voice to what was voiceless.

Atelya on October 30, 2017:

I'm a Scorpio I really love my Aquarius, we are still the best of friends even though we broke up. Do you think we'll get back together?

fzzzzz on September 25, 2017:

What about aquarius man and scorpio woman compatibility?

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on September 22, 2017:

I think INTJ is very fitting for an Aquarius type. I don't think that would make her weird at all. INTJ and Aquarius are both intuition driven personalities. I have met some eccentric INTJ folk. They are usually very clever. So yeah, I can see this being a good match.

Dzejn82 from Slovakia on September 22, 2017:

I've never read nothing so accurate and in same time nice about Aquarius. I always feel different, most of time people consider me as cold hearted, but finally someone who see trough :-) Excellent.

What if Aquarius woman is also INTJ? Does it make her more "weird" and hard to understand?

Thank you

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on September 16, 2017:

Excellent! I'm glad to hear from you.

xxxtentacion on September 01, 2017:

this made me cry! thank you for writing it.

ztar15 on August 24, 2017:

This is the most accurate article ive read! I'm an Aquarius Pisces cusp with a scorpio moon. I'm also an INFP! talk about intense lol.. I love the ability to feel so deeply and still sprinkle a little logic on top (even in love). ☺

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on August 17, 2017:

I would say an INFP Aquarius is going to be pretty dreamy and aloof. INFP has a hard time concentrating on what the rest of the world feels is important. Aquarius is a natural humanitarian, and so is INFP, but the INFP is really known as the dreamer. They probably won't make attachments to things easily, while also having their head in the clouds while trying to make it innovative.

Jenniferdby on August 08, 2017:

This makes a lot of sense.

So if an Aquarius woman is also INFP, does that intensify the whimsical aspects of both? Does the combination create complete wackiness? :)

(Sometimes I feel this way.....completely wacky:)

I'd love to read your take on this.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on August 06, 2017:

Thank you. Love to know I can strike a chord.

Ana on July 21, 2017:

So beautiful and positive. Unlike any article I have read before.

Beautiful writing.

juliecreel on July 07, 2016:

Very nice. Seen at

Related Articles