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Dating an Aquarius: What to Expect

Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.


Aquarius is one of the most independent and progressive signs. It is the most likely to stick to being single, just after Virgo. Aquarius is known for beauty, creativity, and intelligence. It's the wild horse of the bunch. It can live in a world of ideas and a serene calm for most of its days. It isn't easy to date an Aquarius, not because they aren't amazing mates, but because they take a while to warm up to someone. They prefer to be your friend first. They prefer to hold off on experiencing major emotions because for them, it's unstable, powerful, and unsettling.

Build Trust with Aquarius

An Aquarius will be noticeable for its unusual ways of thinking. In some fashion they'll be weird. This doesn't mean 100% weird in every way imaginable, but they'll think outside the norm. They are innovative people; they love problem solving. They tend to be social butterflies, and grow from social experiences. They love the arts, sciences, religion, creativity, knowledge—they are an endless brain of ideas. They can easily only be in their heads and not in their bodies.

Trying to be sensual with an Aquarius from the beginning might not get you anywhere. They may just see it as cute, or at best, charming. Aquarius has good self control. It doesn't melt at the sight of a naked body or get distracted by a cute new co-worker. Instead it sees the mind and the soul of people first and is awakened later to the fact that someone is attractive physically.

Aquarius makes for an excellent romantic partner and parent, which is why they are slow to act. They are careful and methodical about their relationships. They absolutely hate heartbreak and experience it to the extreme. They are not so much frightened by rejection, as they constantly live in a state of shaking things up into a new order—they have a distaste for pain and for things falling apart. They want to avoid unnecessary disaster because it's time-consuming and a waste of their powerful emotions.

If you want to date an Aquarius, you have to build trust first. Figuring out what trust means to each Aquarius is no easy task. Be consistent, spend time with them frequently, text them, give them affirmations. Don't cheat or have a series of love interests on the side. An Aquarius will sniff it out. The Aquarius will do background checks on you, they'll understand the nuances of your words, and they'll not take cheating lightly. They want to know that you are committed before they jump in bed with you. They want to know you value them as much (if not more) than they do themselves.

Don't Move Too Fast

If you muddy up the waters with Aquarius too fast, don't be surprised if they respond with silence. Aquarius is prone to ghosting people that suddenly frighten its spirit. They don't like moving too fast, they haven't given their consent and they don't feel in synch... so this will scare them away. You have to be somewhat gentle with an Aquarius, or else they'll think you are trying to control them. Aquarius does not like, under any circumstance, to feel like they are being controlled. It's a highly free thinking, independent, and innovative spirit. It is the fixed sign of wind and intelligence. Trying to control its free thinking, body, or spirit will only result in it escaping you. Aquarius will speak its mind, it will tell you exactly what it's thinking and feeling, but if you cross certain boundaries, don't be surprised if it ends things completely without considering your thoughts and feelings.

So how do you get it to stay? You can't control the Aquarius, but you can help build trust and a safe space for them to explore their feelings. An Aquarius needs time to think and introspect. If you take things slow, it can consider how it feels when you give them a hug, it can go through all the little things you've said from stellar compliments to the red flags. An Aquarius needs to know that if it's going to spend time with you—it can be itself.

Aquarius is constantly listening and getting information from you, so be careful not to info dump on the Aquarius and turn the sign into your best friend or therapist. That doesn't attract the Aquarius. It loves to be there to counsel you. Instead, check in on the Aquarius. Make it seem like you are in control of your emotions. Show them that if you were to break up, things will be okay and not a mess. Reveal to them that you have integrity, that you notice little things, that you are weird yourself, and you can show off a degree of randomness.

Touch and the Aquarius

When Aquarius warms up to you and you start dating, expect that it will have a great deal of variety to it. Whether Aquarius is spouting off various random ideas or takes you to a number of strange spots in town, Aquarius' randomness will leak all over the relationship. The Aquarius wants to make sure that you are okay with its weirdness as it has probably been discouraged from different people throughout its life for being odd.

Aquarius tends to like physical touch. For them, if you touch them subtly, it wakes them up. They are so deeply in their thoughts, that when someone touches them they can be quite sensitive to it. This means they'll either not like your touch and perhaps will ghost you... or they'll be keen to your touch. But be careful before you hit the bedroom—Aquarius needs some amount of commitment, and you do too if your dating an Aquarius, before taking things up a notch. Otherwise, this could be a recipe for disaster. If you haven't explored the Aquarius brain enough, then its self esteem isn't ready enough which could cause for the collapse of the relationship.

If the Aquarius is ready, then you should know by then that getting to know each other more physically is likely to amount in complete and utter insanity. The Aquarius is an open-minded, fun-loving, considerate, and intelligent sign. Apply those qualities into the bedroom and its likely to be a fun roller coaster. The Aquarius is known for being one of the sexiest signs... which is why when paired with the Scorpio the two tend to be like dynamite for each other. Some astrologists say the two signs are not meant to be, until they hit the sheets.

Spotting an Aquarius

  • Aquarius can be found in places with lots of mental or creative activity. Your bound to find them at colleges, concerts, museums, churches, science talks, or progressive and modern places.
  • Aquarius tends to have odd quirks whether with the way they speak, dress, or how extremely calm they are under pressure.
  • Think Luna Lovegood.
  • Often an animal or child whisperer.
  • They don't play by the cards everyone else does in a social situation.
  • They tend to hide that they are competitive or are not really that competitive to begin with.
  • They like to be relaxed, spouting off ideas, and have a certain warmth to them.
  • You might find them wandering around when everybody else is focused on some sort of problem or other event.
  • They tend to be dreamy and seem as if they live from the ether.
  • Someone who seems ravenously single for a long time, and mysteriously so since they seem like a strong candidate for being in a relationship, married, etc.


Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on August 27, 2020:

If he's still in a partnership, don't pursue. Write back something that now is not the best time to broach the subject because he is in a relationship. Thank him for being honest and letting you be honest, but don't dwell on it or try to draw him to you. Instead say you hope that your paths cross again and it will be amicable. Whatever you write, keep it short, don't beg for him, and seem professional. Don't tread in waters that already have alligators, ya dig?

I am ... on August 05, 2020:

I am an aquarius woman ..

I am against people who cheat on their partners as I experienced that myself , and now I am a single mother which is single for two years .

I recently met this guy a month ago at my friends place , I cant describe the feeling however I just felt so loved and it was something different for the first time in 2 years.

This guy that I fell for hard is in a relationship and moved to another city. I dont quite know how to react to it , I sent this guy a long paragraph telling him how I felt and he jut questioned my affection and stating that he never knew and blah blah , he responded back , he likes me too . So how should I react to that because honestly I feel that I was longing for love and now this toxic guy shows up ....

tammy2cute on January 11, 2020:

I so love this article as it speaks about my current situation. I’m an Aquarius woman and I’m currently dealing with a scorpio guy. What I like most about this encounter is that we tend to have very deep and intellectual conversations. We can actually explore every avenue of a topic with excitement.

Haha, it’s true when you say that we’re like magnet and people who knows us always describes us as such. Definitely for me as an Aquarius, intelligence comes first and foremost before everything else. If I’m not feeling someone intellectually, then it’s of no interest to me.

Yes, I do like to take things slow as I believe that two people need to learn as much about each other before they get deeply involve. So we’ll continue to have long and stimulating conversations with each other until we’re comfortable enough to take it further. Thank you for this article, it makes a whole lot of sense

Oddball Aquarius on October 01, 2019:

I am an aquarius, and i was just seeing how this was. i guess im unusual for an aquarius. im totally outgoing, and I get crushes often. is that weird?

TheOpposite on April 06, 2019:

And background checks are illegal without the consent of the other person. An other example of why dealing with an Aquarius risk your privacy, quality of life and the importance of consensus so the free will...

TheOpposite on April 06, 2019:

It isn't easy to date an Aquarius.

It's unstable and unsettling.

They constantly live in a state of shaking things up into a new order.

Figuring out what trust means to each Aquarius is no easy task.

They want to know you value them as much (if not more) than they do themselves.

You can show off a degree of randomness.

Aquarius' randomness will leak all over the relationship.

It is likely to amount in complete and utter insanity.

Its likely to be a fun roller coaster.

When paired with the Scorpio the two tend to be like dynamite for each other.

These are all the reasons of my failure. Let me bring a different opinion about those ideas: life and love should be easy, dating should be natural, environment should be stable, consensus by believability is needed to shake things because you live in a society or group of more than one people, great CEOs love people who find tasks easy with easy solutions, equality is a perfect balance in relationship for value, there is no the "more", there is equality, the great and unique 50% and 50%, randomness is why couples and companies goes bankrupt, insanity and being a roller coaster is the opposite of self awareness and consistency, dynamite is better to be left in the mines where there were enough deaths. Please, don't connect Scorpio to Aquarius, we are the opposite. Everyone must follow the unique and own road, there are people who belong to peaceful and accountable life and there are people who belong to randomness and difficulty. For my success, it's extremely important to avoid randomness, it is a black swan. For other success it's extremely important to create "events" and great random headlines. Clear and repeatable patterns is what I love and external (zodiac or personality based) scorecard is the fuel of that love.

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on March 13, 2019:

Thank you. ;)

Tonya on March 13, 2019:

Spot On ;)

HPB on March 05, 2019:

I am a Leo! Strong chemistry all the time when meeting Aquarius men. When I feel like I am on another planet, know instinctly that the man is Aquarius, which panics me in a good way!

JCastle on January 18, 2019:

Typo: "Don't cheat or have a series of love interests no the side."

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on September 26, 2017:

Let me check my natal chart real quick...

To be honest, my natal chart is quite the mixed bag. One of the more frequent ones is Sagittarius, which is said to be one that closer resembles an Aquarius. But Aquarius pops up a few times. My Scorpio is in Pluto and the XI ascendant. Actually, regardless of what my natal chart says, I came up with a reason Scorpios cross my path so much. My grandfather was an Aquarius and he died 9 months before I was born. We almost had the same birthday, and I resemble his side of the family more than any other. His wife was a Scorpio, so I think one way or another his story was imprinted on me since the tragedy of him dying rather young was felt throughout the family, and perhaps this imprint carried with it his heart for a Scorpio. (At least, I like to think this is possible. It is kind of romantic and ideal.)

I've recently been dating a Taurus-Gemini cusp. More Gemini in my opinion as he is really egalitarian. It is a completely different context for me, and one where I have to work mentally in a different way to understand it -- though with it being also an air sign, there is some natural intuition there. I just always have understood Scorpio with some amount of ease. Interestingly, looking at this new person Scorpio is also their Pluto. I'll probably end up marrying this person, which is interesting considering it would be like switching from dating autumn over and over and then marrying spring. It may also mean I took control of my fate and let go of the imprint I was carrying.

valerie on September 25, 2017:

hi Andrea! i didnt know you were an aquarius. you have an amazing insight and writing! and i notice you said you attract scorpios. You must have a really strong 8th house.

i was looking through your profile and blog, and reading bits and pieces. :)

CrH17 on August 18, 2017:

Your article on Aquarius and Scorpio relationships was so dead on it was insane! Thank you for that. I'm a Scorpio, and it couldn't have been more accurate. I find Aquarius women irresistible (I'm a Scorpio woman). Unfortunately, my previous Aquarius partner and I were far too young and immature in our signs to make it work, and it was very volatile. But it is a relationship that will never be forgotten. I hope to meet an aquarius in the future. Love their emotional tranquility, and how endlessly endearing it is.

Kara on August 07, 2017:

I'm an Aquarius an this is dead on. But with the relationship side. I don't crave for the relationship no more or commitment. Im seeing someone but its not a relationship like that..

DawnM Samora from Akron, Ohio on January 12, 2016:

That is great!! Love it!

Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on January 12, 2016:


I'm glad this was spot on! I'm actually an Aquarius myself.

DawnM Samora from Akron, Ohio on January 12, 2016:

Oh my goodness, Andrea!

This article is dead on! Haha, I am Aquarius, and it is so true how you talk about us seeing the mind and soul first before any physical attraction. I am not "touchy-feely" anyway, and decent conversations excite me. I am very attracted to men who I have intelligent conversations with. I just came out of a 3 1/2 year relationship with a Virgo. We were really good at getting business done, worked well together, and had many intellectual conversations, but we just did not get along. I like when you talk about Aquarius is the most likely to stick to being single just after Virgo. This makes sense since I am fine being single, and my ex seems like he enjoys the single life also.

Thanks so much for this article :)


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