Dating a Scorpio: What to Expect

Updated on June 20, 2016
SerenityHalo profile image

Andrea loves to write about the zodiac and research astrological compatibility. She's been an online writer for over five years.


Admittedly, I'm not sure if I put a lot of stock in the zodiac, horoscopes, or astrology. The thing is ever since high school, I repeatedly keep attracting Scorpios. I've met a lot of men at this point in my life, but where things keep clicking in the attraction and romance department are these Scorpio types. It's gotten to the point that once I lock eyes with a stranger, I can tell whether they are a Scorpio. I'm not sure why I keep attracting those born at the end of October and into November -- perhaps its kismet. Or maybe I like something with a little bit of danger, like a Slytherin.

Harry Potter fans and newbs alike, don't forget that Slytherins are not inherently evil. They're the students who don't conform to standardization so they must be reached; they need mentors. They are cunning, attractive, and edgy. You might not be dating a Voldemort if you venture into the Slytherin house, but you do need to keep your eyes out in case you have attracted one of the more malicious ones. Why are Scorpios and Slytherins so similar? They both belong to the water element. Scorpios are fixed signs in the water element; other water signs are Pisces and Cancer. Slytherins mascot is the snake -- and the Scorpio has three symbols that are vital for you to learn, the snake, the scorpion, and the phoenix.

The Snake, the Scorpion, and the Phoenix

The other 11 zodiac signs think they're complicated, but they're not as complicated as the Scorpio. He is the king of emotions, the most complex part of human intelligence. A Scorpio male and female will metamorphosis constantly. You're going to see many facets to this person, and they're constantly being going through emotional upheaval because of it. This is a powerful person, but is often not raised properly to understand its massive range of emotional depth. To the Scorpio who can veer to the dark side, the Satanic can be an emotional texture and not just a religious side thought. The Scorpio embraces all the emotions, and it can be difficult to manage.

The goal for the Scorpio is to be in the phoenix state, but unfortunately it's difficult to stay in this perfect fixture, and once it collapses the Scorpio is reduced to ashes. They go back into the very basic state of themselves, like a baby snake crawling on its belly about to bite at the heel of Eve. The Scorpio will collapse into deep depression, melancholy, and even nihilism. The Scorpio doesn't mean harm by falling into such apathy, but its part of their emotional design. Being in the darkness helps them to crawl all the way up into the most advanced form. Scorpios are not easy to date when they are down in the gutters. It's difficult to know what to do. Do you cheer them up? Are they okay? Will they hurt themselves? It can be frustrating for other personalities who use other facets to explore life. Scorpio often attracts the emotionally cool Aquarius, which often is confused and uncertain when it comes to Scorpio's sadness.

Scorpio will eventually snap out of their snake like skin. They need time to collect themselves, introspect, and explore some of the more sensual sides of things -- which doesn't automatically mean sex, but Scorpio is a sensual person and sex is something they crave. Sensuality can include walks through a park, eating food, going to concerts, or the visual arts.

Keep in mind, after the Scorpio morphs from the snake he is then a... scorpion. The scorpion is ready to take on life. It's more aggressive, but still dark. It can now chase after the heel rather than slither up to it. By the holy arts of transfiguration or alchemy, these metamorphic symbols are what Scorpios go through constantly. If you can't handle emotional variety and whirlwinds, then steer clear of the Scorpio. But know somewhere in there is a hopeless romantic waiting to pop out of its shell. The only way you'll get to it is by some amount of tenderness.

The Scorpio when things are going well will morph into its final stage, the unstoppable Phoenix. When the Scorpio is in its Phoenix stage it can do anything and everything, taking on the life bearer, spreading creative flames in every direction, a complete and beautiful picture of euphoria. The only problem is that if not staggered, the Scorpio will not stay in this stage and will flip to the bottom of the dark side again. If the Scorpio paces itself it can last as a Phoenix for much longer without having to crawl on its belly again when the Black Towers, Devils, and Death cards in the stack against it. Since most zodiacs don't have the darkness of the snake or the holiness of the Phoenix, they can misread the Scorpio pushing him aside.

Truth of the matter is that Scorpios are aggressive for life, for success, and for relationships. They want to take romance, sex, and chemistry to bizarre amounts of depth. They want not just your body, but your entire soul, mind, and emotional texture. They want to know everything happening in and around you. They also secretly want to control it as a sorcerer. They can love someone incredibly deeply and end up pushing them away because they don't see the amount of depth coming from their partner, or they think their pursuits are futile (even when they've already won.) They like to be nurtured, partly because that maternal nurturing helps awaken their Phoenix side.

Scorpios are...

See results

One on One Time, Please

Scorpios are incredibly interpersonal souls. They like to have all of you. Sure, they like having friends and hanging out with others in your company. But a perfect date is having all of you to themselves with little to any distraction. They want to be able to tell if there is good connection in their romance. They'll have a number of questions, stories, and interests they'll want to share and know if you are on the same page. They'll want to see if you have a heart of gold, or if you're as dark and sly as them...which often they don't want someone as dark as them. They get all kinds of attracted for certain personalities whether they can help it or not. They do love the softer sided Pisces, and the Cancer's megalomania tsunami emotions make the Scorpio feel needed and powerful. The Scorpio can't help but be attracted by the Aquarius, but sometimes they fear the cool headed babe isn't totally interested, or is more interested in their social world of everybody and their dog.

Scorpio and Aquarius turns into the ultimate game of cat and mouse. They two usually are intrigued by each other, but if they don't play their cards right the passion will fizzle out faster than you can say, "I love you." In order for Scorpio and Aquarius to work, they need to take things slow. They should get to know each other emotionally and mentally before jumping in bed with each other. The Aquarius needs a best friend who can understand them mentally, or at least appreciate them. Scorpio needs someone who can merge with their soul. Scorpio is looking for a piece of something to help them ease the pain of all their transformations, and love doesn't necessarily fill that hole. It can help ease the pain, but Scorpio may be better off with philosophy, religion, or critical thinking to help them mature and feel more whole rather than like a thousand different beasts rapped into one body.

Fixed sign personalities can make relationships happen with anyone they want. Fixed signs, which are Aquarius, Taurus, Leo, and Scorpio play and see things differently than the other 8 zodiacs. They are dominated so much by their element that they can use that element to attract what they want and what they don't want. Sure, some combinations may be more desirable for them than others, but truthfully they see where things are malleable. They know intrinsically that they are stubborn, better yet where they are mentally strong. They know how to play with that heaviness and connect with someone who is a polar opposite. This can make things difficult for the fixed signs because sometimes they feel more like a chameleon trying to advance at love and they're not sure if they are just playing cards like a mastermind or if they genuinely want to connect with someone. Scorpio, of course, is a major player of this. The Scorpio loves to boost its ego. An immature Scorpio loves to attract suitors. Its dominated by emotions and the pelvis. The Scorpio oozes sexual energy, and it likes to be flattered. Does this make Scorpio a cheater? That depends. A Scorpio who is only after their ego is definitely a cheater; but if a Scorpio is at the point where they want to settle down and merge their soul with someone else, than appeasing their ego is no longer the highest priority. Instead they want to not only please their interests, but that of someone else. This can cause the Scorpio to come off overbearing or clingy to people who might not feel the same with Scorpio. The Scorpio should work on communicating their interest in a steady fashion rather than giving all of themselves too quick or throwing mixed signals into the air.

Once Scorpio finds a partner they deem worthy, they'll stick to them with their loyalties. But you have to make sure the Scorpio isn't just attracting you for their entertainment and ego. You may have to see how they act when you're sick, when you know you don't look your best, or your having a bad day. Do they still flirt with you? Are they still highly interested in your wellbeing? Would they rather be next to you than anyone else?

Scorpio's definition of cheating starts with the physical. Conversations not so much, unless they're edging into the very, very naughty. A Scorpio cheats with its lips on someone else's lips, not when they're talking. They do deeply want to have conversations, and they are looking for someone who connect with them there, but Scorpio is again a sensual and sexual critter. They could have deep conversations with everybody in the world till their eyelids drop to the floor from exhaustion, but if they don't take you to bed, then they're really just enjoying the art of conversation. Emotional conversations could backfire on a Scorpio and make them feel uncomfortable or lost if its deemed inappropriate.

The Hatred of Weak Connections

Scorpios can have a lot of friends, but a lot of them are transitory. They don't develop deep connections and lasting friendships through conversations like say Aquarians do. Aquarius loves to connect and understand ideas. They are a cognition driven soul. Scorpio on the other hand is looking for something a little different. This is why a number of friends will come into their lives and also exit forever. They don't enjoy keeping connections they don't need. When they break up, they move on. They don't linger. They know it didn't work, so they continue their search for someone who does. This can be brutal both as a friend and a romantic interest. Some would consider this the sting of the scorpion. Scorpio, as emotionally powerful as it is, can ironically not have a clue that they have offended someone else. They're more focused on their mission than on empathy, unless they are in a transformative beast that opens itself to more empathy (like the phoenix, which is another reason the Scorpio may opt out of being such a majestic condor.)

Back to Hogwarts, the Slytherins cared most about their familial connections. Ravenclaws are individualists, Hufflepuffs make friendships with all, and Gryffindors seek popularity. Slytherins are not inherently racist or nepotists. They understand the power of family, lineage, and the more truth like representations people have in family circles than in weaker connections like friends or fame. Of course, Slytherins love of family can cause it to take a blind eye to others connections or even to empathy and understanding others that are different. Slytherins often didn't like muggles because they were different; they were not of what they consider family. Scorpios can be like this. They are attracted to those that can seem and be like family. They want to keep close connections with family. They prosper when this is put together. This is often why Scorpios fall in love with people that have paternal or maternal air to them. Scorpios often like people who already have kids from another failed relationship. Scorpios like to take care of others and be taken care of themselves. They crave family, intimacy, connection -- they don't care to build up friendships that they often see as trivial. This can cause them to be quite clan-like or even heartless. They would do better to objectively see out of this so they can get along with more people.

What to Expect When Dating a Scorpio

1. Lots of kisses, hug, cuddles, touches.

2. Text messages daily. A constant thread of communication if they really want your attention.

3. A love of darkness whether its drawing strange Tim Burton like creatures, a love for Darth Vader, or maybe an interest in Satan himself.

4. Intimacy. They like to build it, sometimes on good foundation if they are mature. Most of them crave having a long term relationship and family.

5. They'll coddle you. They may remind you to sign up for health insurance, ask you have you slept, or if you have eaten. They care about a lot of practical things. They care if you are happy or sad.

6. If they're breaking up with you or no longer care, they will suddenly lessen the amount of communication. They may go on bouts of isolation from you. They'll turn into a loner and never truly come back and there's nothing you can do.

7. A Scorpio will flatter you to the moon and back. They'll keep their eyes glued on you when they're attracted to you.

8. Emotional cycles that are out of this world. They are dynamic, not stoic unless they are hiding their emotions in apathy.

9. They're hard working people. They have goals. They have passions. They will hope you like what they like.

10. You might end up being their muse.

11. They might cling to you harder and harder. If you like this kind of intimacy, it'll be great. They can handle your independence. But really, they want to know you in a peculiar, intense way. Not necessarily obsessive, but intense.

12. Scorpios love to flirt. They love to see eye candy. They love to hold eye candy.

13. Scorpios have big egos. They are success driven and romance driven.

14. Expect nakedness.

15. Expect surprises.

16. When they want you and have decided on you, they'll be very clear about it. When they are on the fence, they will be very much on the fence.

17. Full force or loss of interest is the Scorpio way.

18. He or she is easily hurt so you have to be careful with what you say and not get extra gushy.

19. You must command a great deal of patience. Patience, patience, patience.

20. They are intense leaders. They want to lead in the relationship. Again, their driven for relationships.

21. Give the Scorpio space when it needs it. Enjoy those moments! Because they'll be back to invade your space.

22. They do not like to be played. They want honesty.

23. Cheat on a Scorpio and things will end instantly. They will not put up with cheating. It doesn't fit their master plan fantasy of consuming someone back and forth forever.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image


      3 years ago

      Powerful Article!! Thank you for this. I'm currently dating a scorpio man (I myself am virgo with scorpio moon sign) and sometimes he's very complex! (easily hurt, stingy, needs space all of a sudden) But also very loving. This helped to make things clear for me. Again, thanks!

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      3 years ago from Chicago

      Glad you enjoyed it. :)

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      WOW! this was the best scorpio article ever. My husband and I really enjoyed it

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      3 years ago from Chicago


      Leo is a fixed sign. The fixed houses are Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius. They are the center of the seasons. They are 2, 5, 8, and 11.

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      3 years ago from Chicago


      Scorpio does have natural chemistry with water signs. Fixed signs are somewhat more bizarre than cardinals and mutables. Fixed signs can pick whomever they want from the lot and make it happen. Technically, any match has compatibility, but a lot of astrologers don't know how to make certain more complicated matches work. Taurus, Leo, Aquarius, and Scorpio all have the chance to make things happen the way they see fit. They have a touch more manifestation to their power... but also twice the stubbornness for that luck.

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      I'm a pisces with scorpio moon and I attract a lot of scorpio men, I have always had intense relationships with them also, think they use to fall in love with the pisces type woman since we're elusive but emotional, sometimes cancer women, some of them get attracted by air signs because of their elusiveness but that never lasts after they have them bc they ultimately crave for emotional depht, something air signs can't provide. My advice would be: search for the pisces woman profile or even the cancer woman and try to be like that around the scorpio man. Good luck with that btw since they are not easily fooled


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)