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What to Expect When Dating a Scorpio

Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.

The other 11 zodiac signs think they're complicated, but they're not as complicated as the Scorpio. They are the ruler of emotions, the most complex part of the human brain. A Scorpio shifts constantly. They have many facets and they're constantly going through emotional upheavals because of it. This is a powerful person, but they are often not taught to understand their massive range of emotional depth. Scorpio embraces all emotions, and that can be difficult to manage when you're dating them.

Scorpios Are Hard to Date When They're Down in the Dumps

At times, Scorpio will collapse into depression, melancholy, and even nihilism. They don't mean harm by falling into such apathy, but it's part of their emotional design. Being in a dark place helps them achieve their most advanced form.

Scorpios are not easy to date when they are down in the gutters. It's difficult to know what to do. Do you cheer them up? Are they okay? Will they hurt themselves? It can be frustrating for other personalities who like to explore life. Scorpio often attracts the emotionally cool Aquarius, who often is confused and uncertain when it comes to Scorpio's sadness.

Steer Clear if You Can't Handle the Emotions

Scorpio will eventually snap out of their snake-like skin. They need time to collect themselves, introspect, and explore the more sensual sides of things—which doesn't automatically mean sex, but Scorpio is a sensual person and sex is something they crave. Sensuality can include walks through a park, eating food, going to concerts, or enjoying the visual arts.

Keep in mind, after a Scorpio morphs from the snake they then become a. . .scorpion. The scorpion is ready to take on life. It's more aggressive, but still dark. It can now chase after their goals rather than slither up to them.

If you can't handle emotional whirlwinds, then steer clear of the Scorpio. But just know that somewhere in there is a hopeless romantic waiting to pop out of their shell. The only way you'll get to then is through tenderness.

Eventually, Scorpio Will Become Unstoppable

When things are going well, Scorpio will become like an unstoppable phoenix. When a Scorpio is in their phoenix stage, they can do anything and everything, spreading creative flames in every direction and becoming a complete and beautiful picture of euphoria. The only problem is that they don't pace themselves, Scorpio will crash and find themselves on the dark side once more. If the Scorpio paces themselves, they can last much longer as their best self without having to crawl on its belly again. Since most zodiacs don't have the darkness of the snake or the holiness of the phoenix, they can misread Scorpio and push them aside.

The truth of the matter is that Scorpios aggressively pursue success and relationships. They want romance, sex, and chemistry on a deeper level. They want not just your body, but your entire soul, heart, and mind. They want to know everything happening in and around you. They also secretly want to control it.

Scorpios can love someone incredibly deeply and end up pushing them away because they don't see the depth they want from their partner, or they think their pursuits are futile. They like to be nurtured, partly because that maternal nurturing helps awaken their phoenix side.

Scorpio's goal is always to be in a phoenix-like state, but unfortunately it's difficult for them to stay that way—once they collapse, Scorpio is reduced to ashes. They go back into their most basic state—a baby snake crawling on its belly.

What to Expect When Dating a Scorpio

  1. Lots of kisses, hug, cuddles, and touches.
  2. Daily text messages. They'll keep a constant thread of communication if they really want your attention.
  3. A love of darkness, whether it's drawing strange, Tim Burton-like creatures, harboring a love for Darth Vader, or maybe even keeping an interest in Satan himself.
  4. Intimacy. They like to build intimacy on good foundation (if they are mature). Most of them crave a long-term relationship and family.
  5. They'll coddle you. They'll remind you to sign up for health insurance and ask if you've slept or eaten. They care about a lot of practical things, but they also care if you are happy or sad.
  6. If they're breaking up with you or no longer care, they will suddenly lessen the amount of communication. They may go through phases of isolation. They'll turn into a loner and never truly come back—and there's nothing you can do about it.
  7. A Scorpio will flatter you to the moon and back. When they're attracted to you, they'll keep their eyes glued to you.
  8. Their emotional cycles are out of this world. They are dynamic—they are not usually stoic unless they are hiding their emotions with apathy.
  9. They're hard working people. They have goals and passions. They'll hope that you like what they like.
  10. You might end up being their muse.
  11. They might get clingy. They'll want to get to know you in a peculiarly intense way. Not necessarily obsessive, but intense. If you like this kind of intimacy, it'll be great, but if not they can handle your independence.
  12. Scorpios love to flirt. They love to see—and touch—eye candy.
  13. Scorpios have big egos. They are success and romance-driven.
  14. Expect nakedness.
  15. Expect surprises.
  16. When they want you, they'll be very clear about it. When they are on the fence, they will stay there.
  17. Scorpios have two approaches to romance: either full-force or loss of interest.
  18. He or she is easily hurt, so you have to be careful with what you say. Don't be extra gushy.
  19. You must command a great deal of patience. Patience, patience, patience.
  20. They are intense leaders, even in a relationship. They are very driven in their relationships.
  21. Give Scorpio space when they need it. Enjoy these moments because they'll be back to invade your space.
  22. They do not like to be played. They want honesty.
  23. Cheat on a Scorpio and things will end instantly. They will not put up with cheating. It doesn't fit their fantasy of having someone be devoted to them forever.
Slippery, mysterious, hard to get a hold of—Scorpios and Slytherins have a lot in common.

Slippery, mysterious, hard to get a hold of—Scorpios and Slytherins have a lot in common.

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Scorpios and Slytherins Share a Lot of Similarities

I admittedly don't put a lot of stock in the zodiac, horoscopes, or astrology. However, I have repeatedly attracted Scorpios since high school. I've met a lot of men at this point in my life, but in the attraction and romance department I keep clicking with Scorpio types. It's gotten to the point that, once I lock eyes with a stranger, I can tell whether they are a Scorpio or not. I'm not sure why I keep attracting people born at the end of October and into November perhaps its kismet. Or maybe I like people with an air of danger, like a Slytherin.

Harry Potter fans and newbs should know that Slytherins are not inherently evil. They're students who don't conform to the norm so they need a little guidance; they need mentors. They are cunning, attractive, and edgy. You might not date a total Voldemort if you venture into the Slytherin house, but you do need to keep your eyes out in case you have attracted one of the more malicious ones.

Why Are Scorpios and Slytherins so Similar?

They both belong to the water element. Scorpios are fixed water signs; the other water signs are Pisces and Cancer. Slytherin's mascot is the snake—and Scorpio has three symbols that are important to know: the snake, the scorpion, and the phoenix.

Slytherins care most about their familial connections. Ravenclaws are individualists, Hufflepuffs are friends with everyone, and Gryffindors seek popularity. Slytherins are not inherently racist or nepotistic. They understand the power of family and lineage, and appreciate the more genuine personalities people have with their family than they do in weaker relationships such as friendship or fame. Of course, Slytherin's love of family can cause it to overlook connections with those who are outside of their circle.

It's not that Slytherins don't like muggles because they are different; it's that they don't consider them to be part of the family. Scorpios can be like this too. They are attracted to those that are like their family and want to keep close connections with them. This is often why Scorpios fall in love with people that have paternal or maternal air to them, and they often like people who already have kids from another relationship. Scorpios like to take care of others and be taken care of. They crave family, intimacy, connection—they don't want to build friendships that they see as trivial. This can cause them to be quite clan-like or even heartless. They would do better to have some self-awareness and approach friendships objectively so that they can get along with more people.

Give Them One-on-One Time, Please

Scorpios are incredibly interpersonal souls. They like to have all of you. Sure, they like having friends and hanging out with others in your company, but a perfect date is having all of you to themselves with few distractions. They want to be able to tell if there is a good romantic connection. They'll have a number of questions, stories, and interests they'll want to share with you. They'll want to see if you have a heart of gold, or if you're as dark and sly as them—but they often don't want someone as dark as them. They get attracted to all types of personalities whether they can help it or not. They do love the soft-sided Pisces, and the Cancer's emotional tsunami makes Scorpio feel needed and powerful. Scorpio can't help but be attracted to Aquarius, but sometimes they fear that the cool-headed babe isn't totally interested, or is more interested in being sociable with everybody and their mother.

Why Scorpio and Aquarius Attract Each Other

A Scorpio and Aquarius relationship turns into the ultimate game of cat and mouse. The two usually are intrigued by each other, but if they don't play their cards right, the passion will fizzle out faster than you can say, "I love you." In order for a Scorpio and Aquarius relationship to work, they need to take things slow. They should get to know each other before sleeping with each other. Aquarius needs a best friend who can understand them or at least appreciate them. Scorpio needs a soulmate. Scorpio is looking for something to help them with all their life changes, and love on its own doesn't necessarily fill that need. Scorpio may be better off studying philosophy, religion, or critical thinking to help them mature and feel more whole rather than like a thousand different personalities trapped in one body.

Fixed sign personalities—Aquarius, Taurus, Leo, and Scorpio—can make any relationships work. They see things differently than the other eight zodiacs. They are so sure of themselves that they know how to attract what they want. Sure, some combinations may be more desirable to them than others, but truthfully they are open to anything.

They are stubborn and they know it, but they know how connect with people who are a polar opposite. This can make things difficult for fixed signs because sometimes they feel more like a chameleon trying fit into a relationship and they're not sure if they genuinely want the connection or are just seeking validation.

Scorpio Loves to Flatter Their Ego

Scorpio, of course, is a major culprit of doing this. Scorpio loves to boost their ego and attract suitors, regardless of whether or not they are truly interested. They are dominated by their emotions and sex drive. Scorpio has a lot of sexual energy and likes to be flattered. Does this make Scorpio a cheater? That depends. A Scorpio who is only after their ego is definitely a cheater; but if a Scorpio is at the point where they want to settle down and find their soulmate, then appeasing their ego will no longer be their highest priority.

Instead, they'll want to not only take care of their own needs, but also those of someone else. This can cause Scorpio to come off as overbearing or clingy to those who don't feel the same way. Scorpio should work on steadily communicating their interest rather than throwing themselves at their partner too quickly or giving mixed signals.

Once Scorpio finds a partner they deem worthy, they'll be loyal to them. However, you have to make sure Scorpio isn't just attracting you for their own entertainment and ego. You have to see how they act when you're sick, when you don't look your best, or when you're having a bad day. Do they still flirt with you? Are they still interested in your wellbeing? Would they rather be next to you than anyone else?

Scorpio's definition of cheating starts with physical actions. They don't consider flirty conversations to be cheating, unless they're very naughty. A Scorpio considers cheating to be only when they put their lips on someone else's lips, not just flirting with someone. They love having deep conversations and they are looking for someone who connect with, but again, Scorpio is a sensual being. They can have deep conversations with everybody in the world until their eyelids drop to the floor from exhaustion, but if they don't take them to bed, then they're really just enjoying the art of conversation. Having emotional conversations with strangers could backfire on them by making them feel uncomfortable and lost if it's deemed to be inappropriate.

Scorpios Hate Weak Connections

Scorpios might have a lot of friends, but a lot of them are transitory. They don't develop deep connections and lasting friendships like, say, Aquarius does. Aquarius loves to connect and understand ideas. They are a cognition-driven soul.

Scorpio, on the other hand, is looking for something a little different. This is why a number of friends will come in and out of their lives They don't enjoy keeping connections they don't need. When they break up, they move on. They don't linger. They know it didn't work, so they continue their search for something that will. This can be brutal both to a friend and a romantic interest. Some would consider this to be the sting of the scorpion. Scorpio, as emotionally powerful as they are, can ironically not have a clue that they have offended someone. They're more focused on achieving their goal than on having empathy.

© 2016 Andrea Lawrence

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