The 12 Definite Signs That Your Ex Wants to Get Back Together
There Are 12 Signs to Watch for to See If Your Ex Wants You Back
These days, a great many experts, including writers, relationship experts and researchers, have come together to figure out what keeps a relationship alive and well. The insights they have gleaned are nothing short of extraordinary. For instance, did you know that of all the breakups that occur each day, 90% of them could have been avoided if only the couple had understood how to communicate with each other?
One of the most vital things in a relationship is communication. This is common knowledge. However, to be able to properly communicate in a relationship, it takes a lot of hard work. This is not just a combined understanding though; self-work and awareness is vital in any relationship. It is a never-ending process of acceptance of yourself and your partner, constant self-examination, and finding the right pattern that is right for your relationship to stand the test of time. In addition, after a relationship ends, it leaves behind traces of desire and love and these can be easily recognised.
If you can identify at least two, if not more, of these signs, it means that there is potential for two people to connect with each other. They can even indicate that a couple that is no longer together may want to be back together. This is the foundation for coming up with the right plan to reconnect with an ex to repair a once broken relationship.
This information is NOT a simple guide to show how to have a successful relationship. It is also not a âget your ex backâ guide. Now, there are some signs that you may see that mean your ex indeed wants you back. The signs are following in this report and we will look at them in the form of questions as well as answers.
#1 - How Long Were You in the Relationship?
The duration of the relationship is super important.
This is an important question because the longer you were in the relationship, the more of an emotional impact it will have on you when it ended. When you commit to a long-term union, you share memories and experiences that will forever be a part of you both.
The time immediately following a breakup, it is natural for you to put all of your focus on the negative things in the relationship. However, it is very important to realize that the emotions and feelings you had for your ex will not go away immediately. Your heart is not a light switch. The emotional bond will still be present. Getting your ex back will depend on how long you will keep allowing your feelings to grow, as well as his wish to allow them to disappear.
The relationship didn’t have to last long for it to have made a lasting emotional mark on you. Many people think that just because a relationship was short lived, that their ex could not possibly want them back again because there wasn’t enough time for deep feelings to develop. Try to put the bad things out of your mind and focus on the good things – like what made the two of you fall for each other in the first place.
#2 - Do You Keep in Contact With Your Ex?
The amount of contact you still have with your ex may mean something.
Do you keep in contact with your ex? If so, how much, and how do you make contact? The way your ex contacts you after the breakup can tell you if he is still craving a relationship with you. The more direct his communication is the better. Often times, an ex will use texting or email to contact you. This may seem like they are just being nice and trying to keep a friendship, but it can also mean he is keeping an eye on your life and what you’re up to. This form of communication is the easiest way they can keep you in their life without having to make any quick decisions about the fate of the relationship.
If you are getting phone calls from your ex, they have chosen the best way of communication and this is a great sign. This is very upfront and keeps you in real and direct contact, making it feel as if the relationship really isn’t over for good. Of course meeting in person is always best, but if they want you back it will come to that point.
And finally, making physical contact is always the best outcome. This means that they are not ready to let you go. They may want to stay broken up, but they are also doubting the decision in the first place. This is where the face to face meeting is the most helpful. Seeing you may just help them make up their mind.
#3 - You’re in Contact, But How Often?
The frequency of contact may also mean something more
How often your ex contacts you is a sign of how much they actually want to be with you again. Someone who still wants you in their lives will make a way to keep in contact. If they keep in touch after the breakup, it is a strong sign that they are unsure they made the right decision in leaving you. Another thing to look at is who makes contact more often? Is it you or your ex? If you get contact out of the blue you may be back together soon!
There are tons of signs that your ex may want to be back with you. A sure way to help things along is to make sure you are in his mind at all times. There are a couple of ways you can make this happen. Even if your ex has not initiated contact yet, this doesn’t mean it’s over. Right after a breakup is like a period of mourning. A breakup is one type of death. They may need some time to think things out before making contact. Let them have this time. They need to have time to allow themselves to miss you.
#4 - How Long Did Your Ex Wait to Contact You?
As long as your ex is second guessing his choice to leave you, they will surely try to keep in contact. Knowing this, the sooner they make contact the more you know he misses you and is not sure of his decision.
If your ex is the one to contact you first, you have a great sign! This can mean that they feel that they rushed the decision and is now in great doubt. Often times, an ex will make contact some way for a non-specific reason, such as just wanting to say hello or find out how you’re doing. These may sound like lame excuses, but just think of what they mean! What they are really trying to do is find any possible reason to contact you.
If you are the first one to make contact you may find yourself the weak party. If you were the one who was dumped, this is especially true. You don’t want to come off as desperate or needy, so try your best to wait for them to contact you first. If you get that communication a few weeks after you breakup, this is a great sign. They need the time to see if they have a change of heart.
#5 - How Long Did It Take Your Ex to Get Their Belongings From You?
If they wait to get their stuff for a few weeks it may be a good sign.
One of the biggest reasons that ex’s see one another again is that they have to get things back from each other (CD’s clothing, etc.). This is your best shot at seeing how they feel about you after the breakup. You can’t avoid meeting like this when you need your things back, so look at it in a positive light because it is an innocent manner of running into you! If he is still feeling emotional towards you he will be in no hurry to break off contact. The best case scenario is that they come for their things, and in a few days call to say they forgot an item. It is likely they “forgot” on purpose so they had an excuse to come back over.
Another way to look at this topic (in a more negative light at first) is that they want their stuff back straight away. This can mean that they are still feeling hurt, bitter, angry, etc. They likely are feeling hotheaded and thinking with the pain in their heart. This is especially true if things ended very badly. So, if they wait to get their stuff for a few weeks it is a much better way and a much better sign. No matter which way this step goes, they are still not sure what they want, and that is always a sign of hope.
If it is your desire to have your ex back, NEVER be the one to return their things to them. Once you do then it is really over. If you want another chance, don’t burn bridges. Now for a positive thing; if you don’t rush things it will play out in your favor. Desperation is not attractive and will drive them further away. Take out some time for a no contact vacation from your ex to allow you both time to think and miss each other. The emotions are too raw right after a breakup.
#6 - Are They Making the Most Contact?
Does your ex contact you the most, or is it you that's contacting him?
Even though the levels of communication will be varied, it is always a good idea if your ex is the one making the most contact. There are many ways that they can do so; texting, calling, emailing, social networking, or simply showing up. If your ex is starting up more and more communication then take this as a strong sign that they are clearly thinking of you and missing you!
When you are the one doing the contacting, make sure you have a solid excuse to do so. It will be difficult, but you have to do things that will make him miss you and make him wonder why you’re not contacting them all the time. This will make them contact you even more!
Now, if you are the one who does most of the contacting, it is not the best way to go about things. It may seem like you are chasing after him and that lowers your chances of getting him back. If you are sending messages, the replies you get may only be sent so as not to be rude and you don’t want to have your ex in your life out of pity. If you just have to make contact, do so once and then see where you ex takes it from there.
#7 - Is Your Ex Showing Up Unexpectedly?
When "just walking by" seems to be a frequent coincidence
If your ex is popping up in the same places you just happen to be, this is a sure sign that he is feeling jealous and wants to keep an eye on you. These chance encounters are a great sign they want you back! The bottom line is, if they keep showing up where you are, it is either a sign of jealously or regret. Either way it is good for you.
Many people who once were in a relationship have the same friends. This means you will likely see each other in group gatherings. They may not be checking up on you in these instances, but watch out for their body language. You will be able to tell how they are feeling by their body language, expressions, etc. Pay close attention to these things without being too obvious that you are paying attention.
When seeing you after the breakup, they may not know how to act with you. This may make them keep some distance. This doesn’t mean that they are not interested in you anymore but it does mean that they now have the chance to start missing you.
#8 - What Does Your Ex Talk About on the Phone
Your ex typically won’t call you for no reason or out of the blue. Usually, he will first find a good excuse to make contact with you. Pay attention to these “reasons” and you will be able to figure out what he is really thinking by contacting you. If they made just one call for their things to be returned, this may not be the best sign. They may want a clean break from you and doesn’t’ feel comfortable with you anymore. The main reason they may feel uncomfortable or uneasy around you is that they are worried that things are still too fresh that they may buckle on their decision and go back into the relationship without thought. Try to figure them out after the breakup so you know how to approach them in the best way without making them uneasy.
On the other side of things, your ex may keep calling without any real reason of doing so, like asking about your mom, or something like that. They are not really calling to check on your mom! They are calling to talk to you and fell that they needed to come up with some kind of excuse, no matter how lame it may be. They want a reason to connect with you but don’t quite know how to go about it! Again, this is a very good sign.
Now this part may sound weird, but honestly, some ex’s will call to let you know they found someone else. Chances are that they haven’t and are just trying to see how you will react-to make you jealous. If they know you’re jealous, they know you’re still into them and that is what they wanted to know in the first place; asking directly would be too easy! If this happens, try not to get angry, remembering that it probably isn’t the truth. They are already questioning the breakup!
Finally, one of the best signs is your ex calling you for your advice or opinions on things. This shows that they still care what you think AND that they want a reason to contact you. If they are calling with a trivial question, they are not just calling for your answer. They are calling for your voice. They miss you and are thinking about turning back to you.
#9 - What Do You Two Talk About?
Certain conversations between your ex and you can have hidden signs
The way your ex talks to you and what they talk about will tell you a lot about how they are feeling. They will have a certain aura about them and their attitude will speak volumes. Hiding strong emotions when in the presence of someone you have cared for is virtually impossible to do.
Often times, your ex will not feel comfortable conversating with you, even if it is a simple chat. The reason for this may be that they want to keep a distance between you two, sending a message that says getting back together is not an option. This is usually true if they were the one who was dumped by you. There is no sign that is stronger of your ex not wanting to get back together then if they are totally dismissive while talking to you. But, the dismissiveness may be because they are nervous around you now. You know them best so it is you who will know which is which.
If your ex is constantly talking about himself or herself, it may come off to you as self-centered. But think about it like this; if they are talking about themselves, this can mean that they are perfectly comfortable around you-enough to share personal things. This is a good sign. Keep in mind though, that there are several reasons why the ex’s as friend’s thing is not a good idea. Watch out for falling into the trap of going from lover to friend. This is a bad zone if you want them back!
Play close attention to the talks you two have. If you are hearing them say things about their social life a lot, watch out! They may be preparing to move on or already have –putting you in the friend zone. Or, they are making sure you understand that just because you’re talking doesn’t mean you’re back together or will be back together.
If your ex asks about your social life, it is likely they are trying to see if you are seeing a new person even if they are not prepared to take you back right off the bat. It is however a sign that they don’t like the idea that you may be seeing someone else.
#10 - How Does Your Ex Act Around You?
Pay close attention to what he says and to his mannerisms.
There is much you can tell just by the way your ex behaves around you. If you pay close enough attention to what they say and their mannerisms, you can tell just how much they still feel for you. If they are acting in a friendly way, they are likely trying a appease the situation between the two of you. No matter how the breakup went down, acting friendly shows that their aim is to create a comfort around you again. If they cannot look you right in the eyes it may be that they are afraid to because it makes them feel conflicted about how they still feel about you. Again, good sign.
Try to look at it like this; if they didn’t care about you anymore, eye contact would be simple. Avoidance means that either he regrets letting you go or that they don’t quite know what to say to you. Either way it is a good sign. Now, if you are prepared to work hard for it, you will get the opportunity to find several options to get back together with them. The trick is making the move at the right time!
#11 - Has Your Ex’s Behavior Changed?
A change in behavior is another sign that your ex may want to rekindle your relationship again. Some changes will be noticeable right away, while others will take some time to surface. Stay vigilant so you can spot these changes when they happen. Honestly, there is no good reason that you two can’t be friendly around each other, but remember, them showing friendliness doesn’t always mean something. But, if the behavior change around you is a radical one, it is surely a good sign.
When you do see your ex again, they may either be pleased to see you or like they are in a bad mood. Either or can be a good sign. If they are happy to see you then they probably miss you. If they act all moody, they may be upset because they feel conflicted about the breakup. Either way, try to stay positive.
#12 - What Questions Do They Ask You?
The questions your ex asks you may be a sign that he still loves you.
If your ex isn’t putting any effort into moving on from you, the breakup is something that they are questioning. In fact, they will likely be asking you questions also! So, which ones should you be on the lookout for? The first is the “are you okay” question. If they are checking to see if you’re ok after the breakup, they still care. They also want to know how you are dealing with the situation and if you have plans of moving on without them. If they know you’re ok, it may bring on two feelings. For one, they may be relieved if they know you’re ok and/or moving on.
Or, it could be that they are worried you will move on. If they ask about your dating plans, it is because they fear that you are ready to see others. What this basically means is that they are seriously doubting the breakup. This is the point where you can easily convince them it may have been a bad choice. But, don’t be too outright in the beginning. If you seem mysterious that’s a good thing; it will keep you on their mind more. They may want to have the single life but they also want to have you. This is the point where they will chose one or the other.
#13 - Have You Slept With Your Ex After the Breakup?
Last minute addition — sleeping with him does count as a sign.
Being intimate after a breakup can be a tricky business. It can actually put a dent in the plans you have for winning them back. Even though it may seem innocent, or even the most natural thing in the world, but it can be the worst mistake you can make.
Think of it this way; you already have them in contact with you and it is possible you two are even friends. And then, you fall into bed with each other-what could possibly be better? Now the question is, what incentive do they have to get back into the relationship? They are getting sex and all without the drama of a relationship! Why would they take on all that pressure again when they can have their cake and eat it too?
After all this has been said, keep in mind if you slept with them once then you will do it again. But, if you want to look at it on the bright side, maybe it keep happening because the two of you are so strongly pulled to each other and cannot stay away. This can lead to a full reconciliation. Also, simple flirting or even full blown make-out sessions with your ex can be a good sign. The more interest that is being shown, the better your chances are. Take care not to misinterpret what is happening though. I could just be a one-time thing and then your heart is broken even more.
What can you do Now to get your Ex back?
here's some advice that you should follow next
After reading this, have you seen any of the signs cropping up in your ex? Now is the time to have an uprising – a revolution of kinds. You do this by having the inside scoop into the mind of your ex and how to make them think about you, focus on you. Get their attention back on you again! But, before you keep going, here are two more things you need to know.
Number One: You can’t do it all alone. Follow a guide, a book, or anything like this that will give you good, solid advice.
Number Two: Follow the rules in the book or guide. If you act the way you want to anyone you will end up ruining your chances of getting back together.
The books/guides below are the ones that I personally recommend. I choose the best ones that follow a solid criteria based upon rates of success, user reviews and those that offer you your money back if the advice doesn’t work. You should try one of them, asap!
"How to" guides about how to get your ex back
If you follow the advice in the books and guides I recommend, you should be successful in winning your ex back. They provide detailed information about "the mind" of the ex, and how the psychology of the relationship can be used to your advantage. Don't blow it into thinking that you know better, because you generally don't.
So... to not make a fool out of yourself and blow any change of getting back, just follow the advice for your own sake.
This book is really amazing because it takes you to the real reasons as to why your ex loved you in the first place, and focuses on your amazing qualities. It's not only good for getting back together, but also to raise your own self-esteem.