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No Contact Rule: How It Benefits in the Healing & Recovering Process

This is my purpose in life: to better myself through knowledge and help others do the same. I hope you enjoy my writing.

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Should You Do No Contact After a Breakup?

You've broken up with your ex, and you aren't sure which next step to take - move on with your life or try to get your ex back. More so, the pain you're feeling is unbearable you are uncertain whether you'll recover from the breakup. Will no contact assist you in healing and recovering from your break up?

What if you want to resurrect the failed relationship, that is, get your ex back? Will no contact aid you in getting back the relationship you're in back on track?

The answer is, "Yes." There are attested testimonies of individuals, including the writer of this article, who exercised no contact as a means of aiding them to recover from their break up. And, yes, there are stories though a few of individuals whose failed relationships were restored as a result of exercising no contact.

What Is the No Contact?

No contact is the arrestment or cessation of any form of communication with your ex for a certain period of time. It implies not initiating nor responding to any contact from your ex until a specific period of time has expired or when an individual is no longer heavily-weighed down by the hurtful emotions emanating from the termination of a relationship.

Discipline or self-control is highly required when exercising no contact so as not to jeopardize the benefits derived from employing this technique after the occurrence of a breakup. Consequently, you should cease the following:

  • Not calling your ex nor responding to their call.
  • Not texting your ex nor replying to their texts.

Furthermore,

  • You shouldn't stalk your ex, either in-person or on social media sites.
  • You should block your ex from the list of your friends on your social media account(s) e.g. Facebook so as to bar your ex from contacting you or being tempted to contact them.
  • You should not go to places where your ex frequents so as to get a glimpse of them.
  • You should avoid creating an environment where you 'accidentally' bump on your ex and act as if you're surprised to see them.
  • Don't use a mutual friend as a messenger to update you about your ex e.g. is she seeing another man?

How Long Should No Contact Last?

The suggested minimum period of exercising no contact is two weeks. However, the preferred minimum period is one month. How long you should exercise no contact depends on several factors. They include:

  • Has the healing process begun its course?
  • Are you still living in the fantasy world with your ex in it?
  • Are the hurtful emotions still causing havoc in your life?
  • Do you feel your life is still empty without your ex in it?
  • Are you depressed as a result of the occurrence of the break up, or displaying symptoms associated with any type of depression following the end of the relationship?
  • Are you addicted to drugs and alcohol to make it through the day, find sleep, ease the pain , or as a means to forget about your ex?
  • Are you still needy or desperate to get back with your ex?
  • Do you still believe your ex is the only one who can compliment your life?
  • Do you still find yourself crying when you think of the failed relationship?
  • Do you find yourself staring at images of your ex or stalking them on their social media profiles?

Does the No Contact Rule Work?

The answer depends on whether it's effective in aiding you to recover from the breakup or in enabling you, somehow effortlessly, to get your ex back. If it's the latter, there are some reservations.

Search online, and you'll come across success stories of individuals who managed to restore their failed relationship as a result of employing no contact. Nonetheless, the reports aren't many indicating it isn't an effective method in reviving a terminated relationship.

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It should be noted no contact doesn't in itself assist an individual in getting their ex back. It is employed in conjunction with other techniques. Even so, the effectiveness of using No Contact to get your ex back will depend on the following factors.

  • How healthy and stable the relationship was, and the manner of the breakup, can work in favour of an individual in getting back their ex or turn out to be disadvantageous. Sometimes, luck might play a hand in the success of reunification.

Other than than how healthy and stable the relationship was, and the implementation of the no contact, other factors that might propel the possibility of a reconciliation between you and your ex are:

  • The length of the relationship.
  • The personality of your ex.
  • Whether your ex is exercising no contact.
  • The reason for the breakup.
  • Whether your ex is seeing another person.
  • Whether both of you share a child, property, business, and so on.
  • How the relationship ended - did it end on a good note, or was it characterized by dramatic reactions from either your or your ex, or both of you.

The Benefits of the No Contact Rule in Healing, and Recovering, from a Break Up

1. It Gives You Time to Heal

According to psychologist Jill Weber, staying out of contact with your ex is one of the most important things you can do when recovering from a breakup or from a divorce.

Healing occurs by acknowledging the negative emotions that've sprout following the end of a relationship for what they're, experiencing them, and dealing with them (not feeling them anymore e.g. not being bitter or hateful towards your ex).

When you keep in contact with your ex, you're in essence trying to suppress the emotions so that you don't feel the pain that emanates from experiencing them.

Untreated psychological pain can complicate a relationship (be it the reunion or new relationship) or intensify the worsening condition of a relationship. Something said or done by your reunited or a new partner can trigger the suppressed emotions in the subconscious mind leading to the eruption of new problems or worsening the present ones.

Healing doesn't occur quickly depending on various factors such as the length of the relationship, how much you invested in the relationship, how the relationship was like (e.g., if your ex was abusive), was the breakup dramatic, whether you've family and/or friends support, and so on. However, your determination to recover from the breakup will shorten the length of healing and recovery because it's all about taking the necessary steps to heal and recover from the breakup.

2. It Gives You Time to Reflect

Given that you're not in contact with your ex, your mind won't be distracted by focusing on your ex instead of the relationship.

By keeping your ex at bay, your mind will be free to analyze the relationship, both from the positive and negative side, and come up with an informed decision on whether to move on with your life without your ex, or try to get them back.

Reflecting on the relationship involves analyzing the failed relationship from the third person point of view. This is to avoid being biased - favouring one side of the failed relationship - in analyzing the relationship which might compromise making an informed decision.

Since no contact will lessen the intensity of hurtful feelings you're experiencing, you'll be in a better position in judging the failed relationship from an unbiased position. The no contact will assist you in not relying on hurtful emotions and feelings what to think and not think about the failed relationship, and in making an informed decision on the step to take in relation to the end of the relationship.

3. It Helps You Regain Control and Power Over Your Life

It might feel as if you're not in control of your life, particularly if you're the one who was dumped, or your partner led you to terminate the relationship (e.g. they're abusive or were repeatedly cheating on you). The hurtful emotions can appear overwhelming to the extent you feel you can't free yourself from their grasp.

A breakup has the capacity to break you down to the point you feel you can never recover from the breakup. You wish to end your life so that you can relieve yourself from the unbearable pain you're feeling.

You can achieve your dignity, worthiness, and a hold of your present and future life by taking back control of the steering wheel. You become the driver of your life by not letting the powerful-negative emotions, the images of your ex, the good (and ugly) times you had with your ex from imprisoning your mind and heart.

It might appear using no contact is a means of revenging against your ex, but far from it, the purpose of no contact is to shield you from drowning in a sea of negative emotions thereby causing you never to rise out of the breakup.

No contact isn't a tactic used to inflict mental pain on your ex even though some individuals employ no contact solely for this reason. When used for this purpose, no contact ceases to serve its purpose - assisting you in healing and recovering from your break up.

Other Benefits of Exercising No Contact

  • It shields you from being adversely affected psychologically, physically and/or spiritually by hurtful emotions and resultant, emotional pain, which tend to increase in intensity every single day following the break up.
  • It prevents you from desperately seeking to get your ex back. While you might've legitimate reasons for wanting to reunite with your ex, you should go slow on your desire for reunification because you aren't sure whether it's in your and/or partner's best interest. Furthermore, you will appear as an irritant to your ex which might jeopardize your desire to get back with them. Also, your ex might take advantage of your neediness to manipulate or use you for their own enjoyment or gain.
  • It helps in redirecting your focus on important aspects of your life. You don’t want to be thinking about your ex and your previous relationship all the time. You have a life. Be aware of your goals, ambitions, and dreams. Stop living in your ex's world.
  • It will re-energize you. Following a break up, you'll feel emotionally crippled. As a result you'll feel physically drained. The distance between you and your ex enabled by not contacting your ex will create the needed space for regaining mental and physical strength. Consequently, you'll feel encouraged to push on with your life.
  • It helps you see both the positive and negative side of the failed relationship so you can better judge whether or not you should get back together.
  • It helps you rediscover the hobbies that you had neglected. Hobbies help you appreciate life, heal from hurt, have a positive mentality, get rid of negative emotions, and have hope.
  • It assists you in gaining an unbiased perspective of life, in general, and relationships, in particular. Hurtful emotions, and the resultant, emotional pain, have a tendency to distort one's view about various aspects of life. The distorted view about life that you've conjured in your life will cause you to live a meaningless life, like some sort of a zombie. You won't find happiness in life, and will do things for sake of it than enjoying what you love doing.
  • It will prove to you that you can be happy and survive without your ex. Happiness does not come from having a relationship with someone else. It comes from within.
  • Lastly, it helps you realize that begging doesn't get you anywhere. You’ll realize you have your dignity to hold in high esteem, and that you don’t need to lower your self-worth for someone to accept you.

Tips on How to Recover from a Breakup

When you have applied the no contact, you can work on the following suggested tips which will propel you towards the road to recovery.

1. Admit the Reality of the Breakup

Don't pretend or convince yourself the breakup didn't occur. You're deceiving yourself thereby hindering the commencement of the healing process. When the healing process is jeopardized, your recovery from the break up won't occur even if you engage in another relationship (or succeed in getting back with your ex).

Your heart needs the closure on the state of the relationship so that it can grieve the failed relationship. Your heart will undergo grieving stages as a means of the healing from the hurt. When you don't acknowledge a break up has occurred, you're torturing your heart as you're subjecting it to confusion - not knowing the reality of the relationship.

2 Embrace the Hurtful Emotions

Emotions are conscious manifestations of a wounded heart. Suppressing or escaping from the emotions doesn't mean you've dealt with the emotions for good. In essence, you've pushed them to your subconscious mind.

Your heart has to experience the hurtful emotions so that it can become aware something hurtful has occurred. This will allow it to be open to receiving healing, a precursor to recovery from the breakup.

3. Don't Entertain the 'Sweet' Thoughts

They aren't helping you other than making your life miserable. Stop reliving the memorable days, or thinking so much about your ex. Extinguish the desire of thinking about your ex, and the good moments you had.

By doing so, you're suppressing the emotions. Furthermore, you're hurting yourself the more thereby increasing the wound in your heart as the reality doesn't agree with your thoughts or the fantasy world you've created with your ex in it.

4. Get Rid of Them

It doesn't benefit you when you frequently browse the photos of your ex, or the shots taken together with your ex. Don't open that video, and relive the past. You should only do this when you've recovered from the breakup.

For now, put the photos of your ex away from you. You might tear them into pieces or even burn them. The same goes for videos. Store them away or delete them. If you don't want to tear or burn your ex's photos, give them to your friend to keep. Or, if they've been stored digitally, find ways of locking them, or uninstalling the apps storing the photos and videos to prevent you from accessing them when you feel the desire to.

As noted above, browsing the photos and videos of your ex will impel you to create a mental motion picture - a fantasy world - that won't benefit you other than increasing the pain felt because you're no longer part of their life.

5. Unfriend or Block Your Ex

There is nothing wrong with informing your ex of your decision to unfriend or block them. It shows you do care about your ex.

By unfriending or blocking your ex from your social media accounts, you're saving yourself of the pain you'll feel by coming across updated posts of your ex, or feeling the temptation to read their posts, profile pages or browsing your ex's photos and videos.

6. Stop Blaming

Your ex might have been the cause of the breakup. Or, you might have caused your ex to end the relationship. However might have been the cause of the breakup, or whatever reason might have led to the end of the relationship, blaming yourself or your ex won't make you feel any better.

If you're the one in the wrong, admit it. And pledge, you'll change for the better by rectifying the behavior (s) or attitude(s) that might have led to the breakup.

7. Forgive and Forget

It's a difficult undertaking to forgive your ex or yourself as the cause of the breakup. However, this is an important step to take as it's one of those elements that'll assist you in healing and recovering from your break up.

Forgiveness doesn't mean you're in agreement with your ex having hurt you. It doesn't mean you condone what they did to you. It doesn't mean you give them a foothold to hurt you again. Forgiveness is for your benefit.

Forgiveness is for your benefit because it's the door through which the negative emotions find their way out. It entails opening the doors of your heart and letting the emotions fly away.

Simply, forgiveness is accepting your ex hurt you (or you hurt your ex), and being determined not to hold a grudge or hatred towards them (or yourself).

When you forgive; try to forget.

Remember, if you don't forgive your ex, you'll never heal and recover from the breakup.

8. Let It Out

Have someone to share what you're feeling. Don't suffer alone. Your loved ones and/or friends are a reliable support since they want the best from you.

If you don't feel comfortable in confiding to your loved ones or friends, you can always seek professional help. You can also join social groups that help people get over their breakup.

9. Jot Down

How are you feeling following the break up? Are you making any progress? What lessons have you learned from the breakup? What can you do to alleviate pain, and ensure you've recovered from the breakup? These are some of the things you should note in your notebook, journal, or even on your smartphone, tablet, iPad, or even a laptop.

Journaling assists you in determining how you're fairing following the break up. Are your thoughts still on your ex? Have you made some improvements, or are stuck in the break up? These are some of the observations you can glean from journaling. From studying your journal, you'll know which healthy steps to take in ensuring you're on the road to recovery.

10. Enjoy Your Life

Don't close yourself in your closet for a longer period. Go out and feel the beauty of the world. Visit an animal orphanage, a national park, or a reserve. Meet with friends. Watch movies. Listen to inspiring songs. Go and play with your friends. Read a book. Walk down the street. Engage in your hobbies. Exercise (at home or a gym centre). Enjoy your favourite food. Play with your pet, or get one.

In short, find anything that will positively distract your mind from thinking about your ex, and the failed relationship all the time. Find an a pleasurable-healthy activity that will help you appreciate life, and the world you live in (even though it's full of heartache, there's still enough to behold). You can even volunteer.

Closing off, "NC is a means of mentally, emotionally, and physically distancing yourself from somebody so that you can gain perspective, grieve the loss of the relationship and take back control of yourself and rebuild your life so that you can move on. You give yourself space and time to do this by eradicating/limiting all of your contact with the other person so that you can face the loss without the disruption that will otherwise set you back and potentially keep you stuck in a cycle of unhealthy behavior." (Natalie Lue, author of The No Contact Rule)

The Power of No Contact After a Breakup

Closing off, Natalie Lue, in her book, 'The No Contact Rule' states, "NC is a means of mentally emotionally and physically distancing yourself from somebody so that you can gain perspective, grieve the loss of the relationship and take back control if yourself and rebuild your life so that you can move on. You give yourself space and time to do this by eradicating/limiting all of your contact with the other person so that you can face the loss without disruption that will otherwise set you back and potentially keep you stuck in a cycle of unhealthy behaviour."

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

Questions & Answers

Question: Should I do no contact if it was a 2-year relationship and she broke it off because of constant fights? If so, how long do you recommend for no contact?

Answer: I apologize for taking long to respond. You are right. You should exercise the No Contact Rule. A month is preferable but you have to let her know you won't talk to her for a month. Since two years is a lengthy period, a month is preferable so as to gain the benefits of this rule.

Question: My boyfriend stopped contacting me out of the blue. I have sent text messages and I can see he has seen them but does not reply. Two weeks later, I sent him another text asking for a reason for disappearing on me, I need closure. It has been a month, nothing. What can I do?

Answer: Your boyfriend has used a method known as the silent treatment. This is when a person either doesn't care or doesn't have the courage to tell his partner he has ended the relationship. Don't mind him again. Move on. Wait after two weeks, a month is preferable, then contact him through text. Ask him if he doesn't want to continue in the relationship he should tell you so you can move on with your life. If he responds or doesn't, wish him all the best and thank him for everything. I advise that even if he gives an excuse for his silence after you've contacted him, you should not get back with him. During this period of no contact, don't think about him. Do your own thing. Unfriend or block him from your social media accounts, store away his number or delete them. You have to move on even though it hurts. Life has to go on.

If he cared he should have responded but lack of response shows how he doesn't mind you. Thus, you shouldn't worry yourself about him. But don't forget to forgive him. I have written an article about forgiveness, no contact rule, and how to heal & recover from a breakup. You might want to check on them.

Question: My girlfriend said she’s not in love with me. We had no drama, cursing nor fighting. I was good to her. Do you think no contact will win her back?

Answer: No contact is a 50-win or a 50-lose game. It is as if you are playing wild-card game or poker. You don't know if there is a chance of getting her back or not if your main idea is to try to win her back. You can try what is referred to as "Limited Contact." Do not contact her for a week to test the water. If she is not bothered with your silence then you will no longer she no longer has any feelings for you. You would have exercised no contact which runs for a minimum period of two weeks but in your case, it might not work properly because she said she no longer loves and you haven't done anything to cause it. It might be good to not contact her for a week and try to reflect on what might have led her to utter such a statement. It might be something not related to you. Is she seeing another person or does she have a second opinion of you?

Question: Should I initiate No Contact? Our relationship was 3-years old but she broke up with me because she didn't have feelings for me anymore. After 20 days of having broken up, we had a little fight. Do you think it will work?

Answer: It might work because it appears there is an issue or problem that led to the breakup. No contact will enable both of you to distance yourselves from each other, have some peace of mind and heart. It will enable you to reflect on the relationship and what you need to do to save the relationship. After ending NC find an appropriate way of asking her to meet each other with the intention of solving the issues which during the NC you saw are contributing to the fights. You should approach her in a manner it won't create another fight.

Question: My girlfriend and I were together for almost two years. She broke up with me because she felt I never wanted to make more of a commitment to the relationship such as moving in or getting married. I tried to show her I'm willing to during the breakup and have never told her I didn't want to commit to her. She felt she was always the one bringing it up. Do you, the writer of this article, think I should do no contact or limited contact?

Answer: You should try no contact for about two weeks or more. But you have to be careful not too prolong no contact rule because she might see you've moved on and you never cared about her or committed to the relationship. It is evident she still loves you.

Question: My ex boyfriend and I haven’t spoken for 3 months. Before he just stopped contacting me, he said that I was the best girlfriend he’s ever had. Is there a chance of him contacting me again, or is he gone for good?

Answer: When someone tells you you've been the best girlfriend he's ever had, it is a clear sign he is gone for good. The statement means, "I will never find a better girlfriend than you. You will always remain special in my heart for the rest of my life."

You will have to move on with your life because that's just a compliment.

Question: It has been 3 months since my girlfriend broke up with me after she looked at my phone the one night a girl sent me some photos. She seems pretty clear that she doesn't won't to get back together. It has been 2 weeks of no contact. Should I continue? I'm afraid she'll move on if I don't.

Answer: One thing about no contact is that it's not a hundred percent guarantee it will aid you in getting back your ex. Again, when you exercise no contact rule you might lose her. It might appear to her you don't care and she was right about you. That's the tricky side of no contact.

You might want to add a few days then contact her. But be prepared if it backfires. There is no telling what she had already decided even before you employed no contact. But don't appear needy and desperate.

Since you know her well, find how to approach the subject so that she's sure you don't have another girlfriend by your side.

Question: My ex and I were together for 5 years. We broke up 2 months ago and I’ve seen her since that time. She said she will speak to me but not now. Do you think it’s too late for the no contact rule to have an effect?

Answer: At this stage, the rate of getting her back is too slim. This is because she is the one who has an upper hand. By telling you that she doesn't want to talk to you at this stage signifies she's the one who will ultimately decide to get back or not.

You can't exercise no contact for the sole reason of getting her back. What you can do is cease communicating with her and give her time and space. Afterward, you can contact her when you feel she has been silent for too long. When you contact her don't be too needy or desperate.

Question: My wife separated from me. We were together for 3 years. She wanted to stay married early on, now she wants a divorce because she has a new guy. However, her music playlist has all 'getting back together songs.' What should I do?

Answer: It appears the feelings your wife has for you are still intact. Maybe things are not going well between her and the other guy. Another possibility is that she's feeling guilty. The last possibility is that she still loves you - has feelings for you.

Her playing 'getying back together' songs is an indication she wants to come back to you. It's a positive indication the marriage won't disintegrate.

I hope you will take the sign positively. In a matter of days, she will ask for forgiveness or for reconciliation.

Best of luck and I hope the two of you get back together.

Question: Should I use the no contact rule with my ex? We lasted only 4 months. We broke up once before and no contact worked perfectly. Should I try it again? We broke up because of fights.

Answer: Yes, you should try it again. But, during the no contact you have to reflect on the causes of fights and how the two of you solve the issues that lead up to the fights. If you don't find a way of solving them, you'll find yourself in the situation you're in now. It can become a rebound relationship - breaking, coming together breaking - where the cycle of breaking up and reuniting is becoming a common phenomenon.

Question: My girlfriend broke up with me because she said she wasn’t mentally in the relationship anymore. What does that mean?

Answer: It means she has given up being in the relationship with you. She does not feel she has the energy, the will or desire to be in the relationship anymore. She wants a break from the relationship. She is tired of being in the relationship and does not feel she wants to be in the relationship anymore.

Question: A guy hunted me down through friends for a year to date him. I dated him for 2 months. We got along perfectly. He was so loving but then dropped the fear of commitment card and said he couldn't give me time. Will the no contact rule of 1-month work on a man who has fear of commitment? I haven't contacted him at all neither has he.

Answer: The no contact will not produce the desired fruits. This is attested by him not responding to your silence.

However, you should carry on with the rule for a month. He might respond during the no contact period (the thought of losing you after chasing you for more than a year will be too much for him to bear), it provides you with ample time to reflect on the commitment issue.

Even so, the no contact doesn't go well with the recipient of the exercise as it creates a different picture to the person. He might think you no longer want to be in a relationship with him - you no longer want to commit yourself to the relationship.

You might want to employ the rule for two weeks to be sure where the tide is turning to.

In order to not cause confusion or spread a different message to him, it is a safe thing to inform him to give you time to reflect on the issue for a certain period of time. After contemplating it during that period, you will give your answer.

Question: My boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me because he isn’t sure when (if ever) he will be comfortable with the fact that I have a 2 year old. He has known about my son from the beginning and told me it wouldn’t be an issue but he wanted to take things slowly. Our relationship was amazing: he even introduced me to all of his close friends, parents and coworkers who all really liked me. How long should I do No Contact?

Answer: A month is preferable. After the duration, you can contact him. If he doesn't respond positively or ignores your call/text wait a few days then contact him. If he still doesn't respond as you had anticipated it's time to move on.

Buy, I will also suggest you spend some time reflecting on the failed relationship and your ex. Your ex isn't comfortable with the fact you have a child. It is the reason he has ended the relationship. It's possible he might not warm up to your call/text.

But you shouldn't lose heart. There are still men out there who will be glad to have you and your child in the relationship.

Question: My girlfriend and I were together for two years. We’ve talked many times about spending our entire lives together, and we both agreed even after the break up that we can’t imagine ourselves with anyone else. Do you think the No Contact Rule will work in my favor in terms of reuniting further down the road?

Answer: It might or not. If you exercise no contact she might see you as no longer wanting to be with her in the future or she'll start thinking negatively of you or whether you ever loved her or not. This is one demerit of employing this rule if the expected result is for a reunion. If you have not talked to each other after the breakup or have talked a little then you can employ this rule. If you have been talking frequently after the breakup you might want to tell her why you want to exercise this rule but not to get her back. Remember, with no contact it is a 50-50 game because it mostly depends with your ex.

Question: Should I try out the no contact rule? I just started to. My boyfriend broke up with me because he claimed it felt different. He said I didn’t do anything wrong that I was good to him - he just feels weird. He told me to give him space, and maybe his opinion would change. I think we have a chance, but I need some advice.

Answer: You should exercise the no contact rule mostly for your own benefit. Some words that your ex muttered are worth reflecting. He said he feels different, weird and maybe there is a chance of the two of you getting together. This translates to he no longer wants to be in the relationship. Thus, don't exercise no contact to try to get him back. Move on with your life. Mind your things and work on fulfilling your goals and dreams. Let him contact you. If he does is because he's noticed you're moving on with your life. If he doesn't, there's no need of contacting him. You just go on with your life. I wouldn't advise after a period of not contacting him, you should contact him and try to get him back. He should be the one to chase after you. After all, he's the one who dumped you for no wrong on your side.

Question: My boyfriend left me because he thinks that I won't be happy with him and I deserve a better guy but the fact is that I love him and he loves me too. I haven't contacted him for the last 2 weeks. Till now no sign from him. Will it really work? We had a relationship of 2.5 years.

Answer: You shouldn't continue with the no contact rule for long in your situation.

From your description, he feels unworthy of you. He feels you're better off with another guy. He might be suffering from low self-esteem or you're quite a beauty or something about you that makes him feel you deserve a better guy; not him.

You need to convince him that you're okay with him and it does hurt for him to tell you that. You chose to be with him thus he means a lot to you. There are many things that can make an individual end a relationship because he/she feels unworthy or fit to be in a relationship with another person.

Don't carry the no contact rule for long. It might register in his mind you've accepted his proposal thus the end of the relationship.

Plan on how you'll convince him that you love him as he does love you; and you're happy to be with him and he means everything to you. Something quite striking about you makes him feel that way.

Question: My ex is very angry at me and she left me because I'm immature. Will she come back?

Answer: The probability of her coming back is slim. It will be very difficult because she sees you are not mature in a relationship.

Why don't you work on yourself by improving the things you are lacking? Don't do it to show off but for your own good. Who knows, she might come back when she notices the changes?

Question: My boyfriend of 5 years ended our relationship because he lost his love for me...What should I do to get him back? Will no contct help me?

Answer: NC might help you to some level. You will need to think or reflect why your boyfriend ended the relationship, and how the relationship was like. After the NC period, don't approach him out of neediness or desperation. Don't force if he doesn't want to be with you again. This is after you've tried twice or thrice during texting and calling. You will need to exercise NC for a month to get the desired effect.

The reason I have said NC will help you at some level is because he lost his love for you. When someone loses love for his partner, it's usually hard to get him to love his partner again the way he did. It's very difficult.

Question: My boyfriend hasn't spoken or contacted me for a month, I also haven't contacted him. What else should I do?

Answer: If you want to get him back, you should give yourself another week or two then contact him. If he doesn't respond or responds negatively when you contact wait for another few days then contact him. If he doesn't respond or responds negatively, it's better you move on with your life. It will appear as if you don't have a life of your own - desperate or needy by contacting him often.

Or, you can decide to take a somehow difficult path. Don't contact him at all. Since he's the one who ended the relationship and you didn't do anything bad, and he hasn't contacted you in any way for a month; it's better you move on with your life. Maybe he'll come back. Maybe not.

Question: My ex broke up with me after a year and a half of a relationship that was deep and connected. I went no contact for 2 months but he ke keeps contacting me whenever he gets a chance now. For example, he will say he's in a military break which is totally not my business. I don't want to speak to him nor break my no contact. He ignored me a million times before and treated me like trash. What should I do?

Answer: Whenever your ex sends a text or calls you don't reply or receive the call. When you do so even out of frustration because you want to tell him not to bother you, you give him the hope which he wants to cling to. He analyzes if you can respond there's a chance of you accepting him and reuniting.

When he dumped you and ignored your many texts and calls, and treated you like trash; he didn't feel a pinch of pain, regret or remorse. Now, he is feeling the pain of losing you. Thus, you shouldn't encourage any glimpse of hope which he might think it exists but isn't the case.

Send him a text letting him know what he had wanted from you, you had delivered to him. Now, it is his time to respect yours. You need space and time which is necessary which he shouldn't interfere with. You need time to reflect, heal and recover from the breakup. When you have gained the strength to move on, you will contact him when you feel the need to do so. At the moment, you want to restructure your life because you're hurting, unsure and want to make sense of things and arrange the things in your life.

When you send him such a text, don't respond to his texts or calls. At the last minute he will give up.

Question: My ex broke up with me and wants to immediately be friends. I think this is sick of him to ask and I put no contact in place. Yet he sends me an email talking about how he doesn't want us to break up on bad terms and he's ok with us talking from time to time. I see this as he doesn't want me to fully move on from him. Am I right?

Answer: You're right, being immediate friends will hinder you from moving on. There are a number of reasons why he wants to be immediate friends e.g he doesn't want to feel guilty of moving on, he always wants to hear your voice and doesn't want to feel alienated. Also, in some instances, an ex may not want his/her partner to move on after realizing he/she hasn't moved on - kind of jealous.

Whatever the reason, being friends immediately shouldn't be allowed. After you've moved on - many months later you can be friends but casual ones. For now, if you accept it, you'll never recover thus preventing you from moving on.

Question: How long should I go no contact after the end of a 13-year old relationship?

Answer: In your case, you will need to go no contact for more than one month because you were in a lengthy relationship. I would say between two to three months so as to heal and recover from the breakup.

If your intention is to reunite with your ex, a month would be sufficient.

Question: My boyfriend of six years ended our relationship. Is it possible to get him back if I do no contact?

Answer: No contact isn't a 100% guarantee of getting one's ex. It depends on various factors e.g why he ended the relationship. Later on, he might feel guilty of ending the relationship and so on.

However, by not contacting your ex, you'll pass the message it's alright, you've ended the relationship but I won't plead. It pains me, but I have to go on with my life.

Lastly, you can try your luck. Some individuals have been lucky in getting back their ex after exercising no contact. Thus after 2-3 weeks of no contact, you can contact your ex. Start smoothly and don't be needy or desperate. If it doesn't work you should admit there isn't more to do than to move on your with your life.

Question: After being married for twenty-five years, I've just now I have discovered my husband's infidelity for ten years. Is the no contact rule applicable?

Answer: Yes, you should exercise no contact. You need to have your own space to think things through, to make sense of your emotions, to know which way to go, to allow the healing process to begin and to find peace of mind and heart which as for now you're lacking.

Let him know you don't want to talk to him for some time. If you have children, it is better you stay with them but don't live together with him. Find another place.

Question: My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 months, long distance but see regularly each other and FaceTime daily for hours. He is insanely jealous. He constantly wants to know what I am doing 24x7 and when I don’t update nor call, he assumes I am two-timing or flirting. I am in love with him and very loyal. He broke up with me. Do you think the no contact rule is better for me to have him realize his mistakes or better for me to move on with my life?

Answer: Small doses of jealousy in a relationship is healthy but the kind of jealousy your boyfriend exhibits has gone overboard. It's unhealthy in a relationship and it will be disastrous when the two of you get married. You will be limited in whatever you do such as arriving early at home, staying indoors all weekend and even chatting with your male friends.

No contact will help to an extent. He will see he was on the wrong, will miss you and probably will contact you. With NC it doesn't necessarily mean he will contact you unless you take the first step. After the NC, will he have changed or will you be wasting your time and hurting yourself the more? Again, when you contact him after NC he might continue to see you as the one in the wrong.

I would suggest you move on with your life. But before you do so, don't contact your boyfriend for a month. Afterwards, send him a text that you have always loved him and still do. Let him know how jealousy is unfounded and it has hurt you and you still feel the pain and he has labeled you for something you have never done. You can't continue in the relationship with him not trusting you and if he doesn't deal with his jealousy, he will never succeed in any romantic relationship. He has to deal with it. As for your case you will move on with your life because he doesn't trust you. Wish him the best and let him know you wish to get back with him but until he does something about his jealousy, you can't continue in the relationship with him.

Question: My boyfriend broke up with me. He was crying and very emotional when everything was loving days before. I was not the most supportive and loving partner even though he said I did nothing wrong. Will a no contact rule help me get him back?

Answer: It might help but not really. Unless you know the real reason why he broke up with you, NC might not help. However, you might want to improve in the areas he mentioned when exercising NC. It is preferable you use NC for more than 2 weeks. When you call him don't be desperate or needy and be ready if the answer is No. You will need to move on if the response is not positive.

Question: I used no contact rule. It's been two months now. He's with his ex and I think they are happy. Should I unblock him or should I let it be? And also most guys ask me out but I think I'm not ready and scared they might do the same. I'm also scared to move on because he might come back, please what should I do?

Answer: Look at this scenario: He's back with his ex. They seem happy to be back to each other's arms. Here you are hurting and waiting hopefully for him. But, why would you want to get back with him when he reverted to his former relationship? You're afraid he might come back. But, don't you think you're doing yourself injustice? Don't you think you're treating yourself as a last resort for your ex if his relationship with his former girl hits a dead end?

Since he broke up with you and he saw it wise to get back with his former girlfriend, you should move on with your life. Don't imprison yourself or act as a consoling machine. Forget him and move on with your life. Don't wait for someone who's happy in another relationship. Whether he's happy in it or not, don't wait for him for a chance to he will be back. He ended the relationship and two months is a long time to wait.

Don't unblock him because you might be tempted to have a look at his status page and his profile to look at his photos and how he's doing with his girlfriend.

There are guys asking you for a date. Don't close the door of opportunity to them but don't be in a hurry to do accept their invitation.

You dream of having a hubby and a family. Don't let a breakup cause you to remain single or wait for your ex. In this life, life is inevitable. The most important thing is to learn how to deal with the hurt. Take it from someone who has undergone more than four breakups. You have to learn how to deal with hurt when a relationship comes to an end. According to scientific studies, in today's world it takes two to three breakups to settle with a partner.

When you are sure you have healed from the hurt and recovered from the breakup, and you are ready to move on; you can accept an invitation from one of them. You will know you're ready when you've healed and recovered from a breakup. For now, concentrate on yourself. You have to forget your ex. Maybe in future you'll find a man different from the ones asking you out.

A thought: Don't ever trust a person with all of your heart. Reserve a portion of it for yourself.

Question: I was courting a girl for about seven months. She said that she loves me and won't get back with her ex. I started courting her one month after their breakup with her ex. They had been in the relationship for three years, and now she is back with her ex who cheated on her. What should I do? Is there a chance that she will come back to me?

Answer: The fact she went back to her ex indicates how much feelings she still has for her ex. It's very hard to get her back.

It's evident she had forgiven her ex after he apologized, and now they are back. Pleading, trying to tell her you love her won't make her return. What you can do is move on with your life.

If you've been trying to contact her, stop. Concentrate on yourself. It will be fruitless trying to get her back as it will lead to more heartbreak and regret.

Question: My boyfriend and I dated for 6 years. How long should we have the no contact? We broke up because he said he needs time for himself.

Answer: A month is preferable because the relationship spanned for more than one year. It will give him enough time to be himself. Also, it will afford you enough time to reflect on the relationship and whether you would like to continue in it or not.

Question: My girlfriend left because I asked her not to call a friend who she claims is a sister but that friend is influencing her negatively. Will no contact work after 4 years?

Answer: It might work as it will create the impression, "Okay, I asked you not to call your friend because she is influencing you in negative way but instead you left me. Then, I do not see the need of bothering to continue communicating with you."

Remember, with no contact, it might work or it might not. In your instance, it will create the desired effect which will make her think hard why you are not talking to her. During the no contact you can assess whether there is a chance of getting back. If not, it will be good to call her and mend things. Try for a minimum of two weeks.

Question: He broke up with me a week ago after an amazing three months of dating because he thinks I'm too emotional. I know that he was happy spending time with me. We have had 2-3 arguments in the past over my emotional nature. He has my house key which I had asked him to return when we broke up, but he never returned it after I texted him asking if we could make things better. It has already been a week and neither of us has contacted the other. What do you suggest that I do?

Answer: You should exercise no contact rule for another two weeks. Don't contact him in any way. During this period, reflect on the failed relationship, let the healing process begin and work on the emotional thing.

If he contacts you during the period don't break the exercise. Later, you can send him a text telling him the reason you didn't reply - you wanted to heal from the pain that resulted from the breakup and to ponder on the failed relationship. If he responds you can work things out with him and how to solve the cause of the breakup. If he doesn't respond wait for about three days call or text him. If he doesn't respond it's time to move on with your life.

If he doesn't contact you during the no contact period move on with your life. But before you move on with your life, send him a text and thank him for everything and let him know if he doesn't want to return the key it's alright. You won't force him. You love him and hoped you would spend the rest of your life with him, but you have to move on with your life. However, if he comes to your house you will have nothing to do with him because he decided to end the relationship.

By not returning your key it signifies he has feelings for you, he still loves you. When his mind is made up, you will find him in your house when you arrive at your house from work. If it ever happens, at first it will come naturally of your insistence for him to leave but in time you will come calm and can discuss about the relationship. However, if you had already made up your mind to move on it acts as a stamp you have already decided you will never get back with him which is still okay.

You will have to way your choices carefully when he comes back: accept him or not.

Question: How long should I wait to text my ex?

Answer: A month is preferable. If you exercise no contact for too long you might miss her as she will have moved on. If you text her earlier after the breakup you will irritate her the more. So, between 4-6 weeks is preferable though in your case I would recommend 4 weeks.

Question: I just got dumped after 8 months. I came to America to visit my family for the holidays and she went to Australia. Within the 5 weeks that we haven’t seen each other, she tells me she doesn’t feel the same and is afraid of being in a long term serious relationship all of a sudden. She said she is confused and doesn’t want to lose me but she still ended it. We’ve never fought, and we get along very well. I’m 25 and she’s 20. She’s meant to fly here in a week what do I do?

Answer: As I can deduce from her age, she is afraid of committing herself to a long-term relationship at her 'tender/younger' age. She isn't prepared and dreads at the thought of committing to the relationship. Again there are many things that might be confusing her regarding relationship and anything else related to romantic relationships. She is overwhelmed with the realization what is involved in relationship.

In your case, you shouldn't exercise no contact immediately. If you do so, she might become more confused and think you no longer have any feelings for her.

After she arrives in a week's time, do welcome her the normal way you do without touching about the relationship. Then, you should give her a few days to settle before you call her to arrange when to meet. This is when you should discuss the relationship to get a good picture. You might need to adjust on your side if you feel the need to do so by assessing what was discussed.

Only employ no contact if she wants to be left alone. When she arrives don't pressure her. Before you meet, talk in a casual manner to give her some time before you ask her to meet together when she feels comfortable.

Remember her decision to end the relationship isn't certain because as she said, she's overwhelmed.

Question: I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years and 5 months because he has no job at all for almost 2 years. He is always telling me to just trust and support him but I feel hopeless that he will get a job. I broke up with him for the thought of maybe he will change and realize things. It's been 2 months without communication at all. He deleted his old facebook account and made a new one and I was blocked in that new facebook account. What should I do?

Answer: It seems your boyfriend didn't want to look for a job knowing you would cater for his needs. You did the right thing to break up with him after noticing he wasn't doing anything to get a job e.g. searching for a job.

I would suggest you move on with your life. You have tried to get him back but he doesn't want to. It's obvious he's still angry at you. You didn't end the relationship for the wrong reasons. You wanted him to realize the importance of looking for a job but it appears he was comfortable in the situation he was in with you.

Move on. Don't bother to contact him. If he didn't realize your worth, you can't force him to understand how you assisted him financially.

Question: I dated a guy for two months, we hung out twice but we used to work together during the weekends. He is in graduate school and he broke it off because he said I gave him too much pressure and was not understanding that he is busy sometimes. I begged and it made it worse. It's been 10 days, I don't know if he will ever consider me again. What do you think about my situation?

Answer: It is obvious he is dedicating most of his energy/attention on his job with little to spare for the relationship. He is involved so much on the job he felt he couldn't keep up with the relationship.

It appears you demanded so much attention, he couldn't continue with the relationship. When you begged after he broke up with you, it got into his nerves. I know the situation isn't good.

You have to concentrate on your life and move on. If you beg again you will worsen the situation.

It's better to apologize for your neediness through text, and thank him for the short time you had and wish him well. Let him know you love him and if you can't solve it, it's okay. But,you wish it was the case. If he replies or doesn't, move on.

He can't leave his job for you or dedicate more time on the relationship than his job. This is obvious.

If you were meant that be together, you will know when you have moved on. When you have recovered from the relationship.

Question: My boyfriend blocked me a week ago. He thought that I had cheated on him when it wasn't the case. What should I do? Should I wait again for another week? I really love him unconditionally. He also loves me. He is always jealous of me.

Answer: Yes, you should wait another week to give him time and space to reflect on some things such as his jealousy. After waiting another week, you should confront him about his jealousy e.g telling him a relationship isn't built of jealousy that has gone overboard. He will need to work out in reducing his unnecessary jealous otherwise it will create problems in the relationship when you reunite.

Question: My ex broke up with me after almost nine years of being together, in which we had a long-distance relationship for three years and open relationship agreement. When we came back together, he broke up with me because I had a friend with benefits while living separately. He told me he doesn't see us together anymore in the future and that he doesn't love me anymore. I was trying everything to get him back. Can no contact help in this situation and for how long should it last?

Answer: Breaking someone's heart by betraying the trust he had put in you, it's usually difficult to get him back. The man does love you, and he can swear to his friends but getting back together is in most cases, hard. Even though he said there's no future between the two of you, one fact is he loves you. So, will no contact help you in getting him back?

It depends on your boyfriend. For now, it will be better if you stop contacting or pestering him. You're only making matters worse than they're. It's better to send him a text asking for forgiveness that he'll find in his heart the need to forgive you and that you're patiently waiting for him; then go no contact. If in the two week's period, the minimum time of exercising no contact, he doesn't respond then know it's over. During that period of silence, he'd have at least responded. Give him another two weeks, if he doesn't respond then contact him. He might respond positively or maintain there's no future between the two of you.

Question: My girlfriend broke up with me a week ago after 10-years of being in arelationship. We were together since freshman year. She said she needed to know what's it like to not be in a relationship and that she has a negative outlook on our future. During this time, I've realized the mistakes I've made and would like to apologize and show her that I have changed. How long do you recommend no contact?

Answer: In your case, it should be a month. Since you have been in a relationship with her for a lengthy period, it would be appropriate to exercise no contact for 2-3 months. However, doing so might have negative ramifications in your situation. She will have moved. A month is preferable to give each other enough space for reflection and changing one's attitude that may have lead to the breakup.

Question: My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for six years. He has intense feelings for me for one week and the next week he says he wants to break up. Now he says he doesnt love me. But, I'm still in love with him. Will no contact rule help?

Answer: I feel for you. No contact will not help in getting him back or to make him miss you. He might miss you when you exercise no contact but his feelings for you won't change. He won't come back to you.

I pray you forget him. Don't hurt yourself anymore. You need to forget him. It's a sad thing to love someone but that person has mixed feelings for you.

Your ex's feelings for you are not constant. You have been hurting for six months. You need to rearrange your life by deciding to stop chasing after him.

A relationship is a two-way traffic or communication. You can't say in a relationship with someone who loves you one day and the next day he no longer has feelings for you. You can't stay in a relationship where you love the person but the person's feelings for you changes and wants a breakup.

I feel for you. I feel sad for you because you love the person too much but the person doesn't love you in such a manner. His love for you fluctuates. It's not constant.

Please, move on. Don't waste your precious time (life) trying to live with a person whose love for you is unpredictable. Life is short. Forget him and move on with your life.

Question: My 15-month relationship has been broken due to us leading separate lives. She told me she loves me and if this were any other part of her life we would not be splitting. Could this just be a phase that I need to give her space for?

Answer: Yes, you need to give her some space of no interference. She might need that time to consider things clearly. Also, you need your own space to ponder concerning the relationship. What if she doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore, what will you do. Both of you need your own space to reflect on the relationship and your future in it.

Question: My boyfriend asked for a break. He said he wants to be doing some stuff and he would appreciate if I don’t contact him. He also said we shouldn’t talk for 2 months and if he doesn’t reach out to me, I should move on. So, should I delete him from my WhatsApp like having this no contact rule?

Answer: It is obvious he wants a permanent break. There is no need to wait for two months for his decision which might be positive (though it doesn't appear the case) or negative.

It would have been understandable of he had involved you and worked out what ails him.

Before he calls the shots, make the first shot. Delete his number from your WhatsApp. Unfriend or block him from your social media accounts, and restrain yourself from calling him. If you can't restrain yourself from calling him, delete his number from your phone book.

You'll have to, as you have said, exercise no contact rule. It might be a positive step to let him know you've already moved on after doing no contact for a month.

Question: My boyfriend and I had our second major breakup. The first time I didn't apply no contact. It annoyed him and resulted in me being served with nasty words everytime I sent him a text . Eventually we got back together when he thought I had moved on. In this second breakup, I have applied no contact for 17 days and he has not contacted me either. What should I do? We broke up this time again because of too many fights in the relationship. He always asks for breakups even for the smallest fights.

Answer: You have indicated your boyfriend asks for a breakup even for small fights. This signifies your boyfriend doesn't want to deal with issues that arise in the relationship. He wants to escape from a problem the instance it crops up in the relationship. The relationship will never survive for long. He has to learn to find a solution (together with you) to the fights or issues that arise in the relationship. This is something worth reflecting upon.

I suggest you continue with no contact for a month. This will afford to you enough time to reflect on the relationship and whether you would like to get back or not. What about the numerous fights?

You should also consider whether your ex-boyfriend has changed his attitude or his reaction/response to issues that arise in the relationship.

Question: She broke up with me over my commitment issues and how l never talked about taking the relationship to the next level. Do you, the writer of this article, think no contact will work with my ex?

Answer: No contact might or might not work. According to your previous question where you provided more information, it's evident she still loves you. But don't exercise no contact for too long because she might take it you've moved on thus she needs to move on.

Question: I have done no contact for 36 days. He broke up with me and blocked me on social media. He started University and totally changed. Will he regret it?

Answer: It's hard to say but life in university can change a person's perspective. This is especially the case when he meets new girls and is influenced negatively by the people he meets there. If he hasn't contacted you for the 36 days you've done no contact, you shouldn't bother him.

I suggest you move on. You will be wasting your time. It's time you make your decision to move on.

Maybe he will regret it, maybe not. There is no way of knowing and it wouldn't be right to waste your time waiting for him.

Question: My ex-boyfriend broke up with me because he has another girl. Should I apply no contact rule even though we have a child already?

Answer: In your case, you will have to apply the limited contact. This involves staying a few days without contacting your ex. The maximum duration of limited contact is two weeks. However, you can employ no contact for a month.

On another hand, you don't need to exercise limited or no contact rule. You will have to determine what you want to do next. Do you want to get back your ex or do you want to move on? If he has another girlfriend is the reason he broke up with you, why would you want to get back with him when he knows very well he has a child with you? Even if he comes back, are you sure he will stick in the relationship because he loves you?

It's evident you're still communicating with him. I would suggest you employ no contact rule for a month since you're the one in custody of the child. He might call you to talk to the child but you should make it clear to him that you shouldn't communicate to each for a month. Let him know you need time to reflect and heal. A month is preferable as it will enable you to heal and reflect on the failed relationship: move on or try to get your ex back.

If you decide you want to move on after no contact rule, know if you would want your ex to contact you to talk with his child, if you would also want him to support the child financially or you would take care of your child in all aspects including financially.

Question: What if your ex is also doing no contact?

Answer: It will depend on the reason why your ex is doing no contact. If he exercises no contact to heal and recover, and move on then there is no chance of reuniting with him. If his intention is to get back with you then there is a chance of getting back together.

It's difficult to know why a person is doing no contact. It will become a deadlock when the person doesn't want to get back with you.

You will have to wait for more than a month to contact them because the majority of them employ no contact for a month. By then, you will know whether you're a lucky one or not.

When your ex contacts you when you're doing no contact, it's better to break the rule and receive the call or reply to his text. If you don't receive his call or reply back you'll lose the chance of ever reuniting.

Question: My boyfriend and I have been on a no-contact break (and not seeing other people) for 1.5 weeks. He wanted space because he was overwhelmed in life and not happy in the relationship anymore. I have gained a new perspective during this time. Is it too soon to break no contact?

Answer: It depends on the new insight you've gained. If you've reflected and came to the conclusion you need to move on, you can break the no contact. But if you want for the relationship to go on because you've learned of some things you need to change in your life or correct in the relationship and so on; you shouldn't end it unless you're absolutely sure of such a decision.

In any case, carry on the no contact for the rest of the days till you reach the recommended minimum period of two weeks.

Question: I’ve cheated on my ex wife and she no longer loves me because she’s hurt, and now she’s asking for a divorce, actually she started with the papers. We’ve been separated for 7 months but the problem is that we have four kids and we must communicate almost daily. I want her back! Could the NC rule work here, and could I get her back?

Answer: The NC might not play a big role in getting your ex back. Actually, it might appear to her it's the case you're still cheating on her. Again, it depends whether your ex is resolved to go through with the divorce.

I think it would be better to exercise NC in a period of two weeks which is the minimum. Then, you can contact her.

NC is ineffective in getting an ex back if the ex has resolved not to get back with his/her significant other. But you can always try your chance through NC. Some work, some don't. How you contact her after not contacting her for some time does matter a lot. So, tread carefully when you contact her.

Question: I am in a 2-year long distance (different countries) relationship with my boyfriend. He would always call me when he had free time even if we decided on a mutual time. He wants to do everything according to him. I always stayed so he started taking me for granted. Do you think the no contact will make him realise my worth? Also, for how long should I be in NC?

Answer: You have to tread carefully on NC because it can signal different message than the intended one. He might think you've ghosted him - ended the relationship without telling him - or you're in a relationship with another person.

Another thing is that he might ignore you because as you've said, he always does things his way and has been taking you for granted.

What should you do? You should address the situation. Let him know how you feel and that you feel he's taking you for granted.

If he doesn't take into account how you feel, you should exercise NC indefinitely until he makes the first contact.

If he doesn't consider or respect your concern, you'll always end up being hurt. This will prove catastrophic when you start staying together.

He will know your worth when you employ NC after realizing you told him but he didn't pay attention thereby you resorted to remaining silent.

If he doesn't contact you during NC period, don't contact him. You will realize then if he is the man you would want to spend the rest of your life with.

Question: Is it a good idea to keep in touch by telegram with my ex-fiance while he has blocked me just on WhatsApp?

Answer: It isn't a good idea to keep in touch with your ex. The problem with keeping in touch is that you would have those thoughts that you wish things were different, you wish you were in relationship (or married to him by now) and other 'I wish it was different' thoughts. You will find it hard to move on, and you might break down or even become depressed.

Keeping in touch isn't bad but it should be after you have healed and you have moved on with your life.

I wouldn't suggest you keep in touch with your ex in whatever manner.

© 2016 Alianess Benny Njuguna

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