How to Respond Maturely When Someone Breaks Up With You
Your (now ex) boyfriend just told you that it's over. Your relationship is ending. You're reeling. You feel hurt, angry, and confused. Maybe you saw it coming or maybe it's out of the blue. No matter what your situation is, it's definitely true that it sucks.
Soon you'll be alone and have some time to think things through, but right now, all you need to know is how to get through the next ten minutes.
How to Act When Someone Breaks Up With You
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Tell yourself you'll be OK.
No matter what you feel like right now (and no matter what you actually believe), tell yourself that you're OK, that you're going to live through this, and that this isn't the end of the world. You can do it like a mantra in your head: "I'm OK, I'm OK, I'm OK, I'm OK." It's OK to lie to yourself right now.
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Breathe.
Make sure you keep breathing. Focus on the air coming in and out of your nose. You could even count your breaths — keep them deep and even. This will help you stay calm.
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Respect their decision.
Don't beg or plead for them to take you back or to change their mind. The more you beg, the worse you look, and the less likely you'll be able to salvage any kind of friendship.
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Don't say too much.
In the heat of the moment, you're likely to say something that you will later regret. Keep your words to a minimum.
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Don't try to force them to stay with you.
First of all, it won't work. Second of all, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Trying to get them to stay in the relationship, or even just to stay with you physically in the same room will only make you look desperate and it will make them want to leave even more.
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Keep physical boundaries.
Don't try to get sexy with them (bad idea!) and don't let them get sexy with you. Kissing isn't going to make them change their mind, even if it might distract you both from what's happening for a little bit.
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Don't interrupt them.
Let them say everything they want to say. After they're finished talking, ask them if there's anything else they'd like to mention. This shows that you are mature enough to let them have the floor.
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If you want to, respond carefully.
If you need to, take a few moments to gather your thoughts to respond to what they've said. Remember that you cannot change their mind about the breakup, so in your response, simply try to give your point of view without blaming or insulting them. Keep it as positive and as short as possible. Another option is to say that you'd like to give your point of view but that you're feeling too overwhelmed to do it right now. Ask them if they'd be okay with having a conversation in a couple of days.
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Keep your cool.
Don't get angry or defensive. If you feel like you're getting too emotional to where you can't think straight or you just want to scream at them, ask if you can continue the conversation later. Think about being the kind of person that they'll regret leaving — some crying is normal, but if you're yelling or screaming at them, or insulting them, it's unlikely that will make you look very good. -
Be grateful (if possible.)
Right now, you're probably really hurt and angry so it may be hard to try to dig out a silver lining. If you can, though, try to thank them for the good times that you had together.
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Say goodbye.
Hug them and say farewell. Then, once they leave and you get home, you can collapse on your bed and start bawling.
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Forgive.
Eventually, find forgiveness for them in your heart. It's hard and it may even seem impossible right now, but holding a grudge against them will only hurt you in the end and keep you from having positive dating experiences.
14 Things to Say When Someone Breaks Up With You
- This makes me really sad, but I respect your decision.
- I'm grateful for everything that we had together and I wish you all the best.
- I know we had problems and I thought we were working on them. I still think we could have a good future together, but I understand you don't see things the same way.
- I'd be lying if I said I was totally okay with this. I think you're awesome. I want you to have a happy life. I hope I can still be a part of it somehow, even if we aren't together.
- The truth is that I am sad now, but I'm going to be okay. I'm going to miss you.
- I'm just trying to keep it together right now. I didn't see this coming and — if I'm being honest — it really hurts. But I can't make you do anything you don't want to do. I really care about you and if being with me doesn't make you happy, then I agree that we shouldn't be together.
- We experienced so much together, and I'm grateful for what we had. I still care about you a lot and it will make me sad to see you go.
- You're going to have to give me some time to think about this. Do you think we could talk in a couple of days?
- This hurts so much. I'm not telling you that to make you feel bad. I'm just trying to be honest. I wish this weren't happening, but I accept that you have a different vision of the future.
- I wish I were a part of your future, but I can't make you change your mind. I think it will be best if we don't talk to each other for a while, so before that happens, I just want to tell you one last time that I do love you and I want only the best things for your life.
- I don't completely understand why, but I understand that you don't want to be together anymore, and that makes me really sad. I know I'm going to be okay but it hurts a lot right now.
- I still care about you and I'm going to miss you.
- I don't hate you, but right now I do feel hurt and angry. I hope you understand that I need some time alone. I hope that we can still be friends later on, but right now I don't know.
- I didn't think that this would be happening. I wanted to stay together. But you don't feel the same way. I wish you all the best. Goodbye.
Breakups Suck, but You're Going to Be OK
Breakups hurt. Sometimes it's very difficult to know why your ex decided to end things. You may feel embarrassed, like you've lost your dignity. Or you might feel messed up, like your world is turned upside down. You might even be so confused that you feel useless. Now that your romantic relationship is over, what else is there?
People react differently during breakups. Generally the ones who get hit the hardest are those who are on the receiving end — especially when they didn't see it coming (and especially if it was a long-term relationship). That's not to say that people aren’t affected when they're the one that ends the relationship either. Especially if the relationship was very serious, usually the ones who break it off feel pretty bad about it too.
They definitely suck. But no matter what — you have a choice in how you respond to a breakup. Remember that you want to keep as much of your dignity as possible so you can hold your head high the next time you see your ex. You might be crumbling inside, but they don't have to know that.
It doesn't matter if you've gone through lots of breakups or if this is your first one — it's a good idea to be careful in your response. You'll only embarrass yourself if you act dramatically.
Also, if you have a meltdown during the breakup — no matter which side you are on — it'll take longer to heal, and there is almost no chance your ex will consider getting back together with you (if that is something that you want to do).
Here's some more detail on how you can best respond if someone is breaking up with you.
1. Pretend Like You're OK
Psychological studies have shown that acting like you're OK — doing things like smiling or staying calm — can actually help you feel better. Even though in the moment you may feel like you want to disappear, do your best to put on a brave face. At the very least, it will help you keep your dignity in front of the person who's dumping you.
2. Stay Calm. Breathe.
When we are in anxiety-producing situations, our body has the tendency to tense up. This may cause you to hold your breath, which makes you feel even more tense and emotional, and so on. Even though it may seem like you're going to lose control if you breathe, let it happen.
Focus on the feeling of breath coming in and out of your nose (a useful mindfulness technique), and taking deep breaths and counting them. This will help keep your feelings from spiraling out of control.
3. Respect Your Ex’s Decision
Accept and respect your ex's decision. Respecting the decision means you’ve heard what they've had to say and are not in denial about what is happening.
It is true that it hurts. You might cry and you will, in fact, feel hurt. What matters, however, is how you react. At first, you just need to listen and make sure your ex knows they have been heard.
4. Don't Talk Too Much
If you talk a lot, you might say things that you will regret later. Say only what you have to say, not everything that you want to say. You don't need to tell them everything that's on your mind or give them a piece of it.
You don't need to tell them how much you're hurting or if they're breaking your heart— they are no longer the person you tell everything. Don’t let them know how hurt you are. Let them see with their own eyes how strong you are by not allowing yourself to act irrationally or blab on about how much you're going to miss them.
5. Don’t Try to Force Them to Stay
Remember that you can't force things. Don’t try to force someone to stay in the relationship when they don't want to. You should respect the decision that has already been made, regardless of whether or not you think it's justified.
You can't force someone to love you when they no longer do. If they do agree to start dating again, do you think they'll love you the same? Or do you think you will always be in doubt, thinking they are just in the relationship because you begged them to be.
6. Don't Try to Get Physical With Them (Kissing Won't Change Their Mind)
Getting physical with your ex might seem like a good idea in the moment, especially because you'll probably be feeling pretty emotional and those feelings might demand an outlet. But . . . don't do it! It's unlikely that being physical with your ex will seem like a good idea in hindsight.
7. Don't Interrupt or Argue With Them
Let your ex say everything they need to say. Listen to them and try not to interrupt, even if you're feeling angry or if you feel like what they're saying is wrong. Listening patiently will leave a good last impression (which is what you want to leave them with). You'll also be able to be proud of yourself for keeping it together and letting them have their say.
8. Give Your Point of View Thoughtfully, Without Blaming or Insulting Them
If you launch into an attack on them after they've finished talking, you'll just come off looking bad. If you choose to respond to what they say to you (which is something that you don't necessarily need to do), do so thoughtfully.
Be honest and talk about how you feel and what you think — avoid statements that blame your ex or insult them. Try talking about your relationship from a 3rd-person's point of view. This may help you put things into perspective, both for yourself and for them.
9. Don’t Plead
Even if you feel like their decision to end things was unjustified, you shouldn't beg for another chance as if your life depends it. The best you can do is tell them why you disagree as reasonably as possible.
In the end, if they don't change their mind, you need to accept that the relationship is over. Don’t plead. It makes you seem needy and desperate.
You will not die if they leave you. Your world will not come to an end even if you love them very very much.
People break up and move on with their lives every day — even people who have much more at stake. It may not seem like it now, but you're going to be fine. Besides, there are plenty of guys out there for you to meet.
10. Be Grateful
Yes you heard correctly. Thank your ex for the time that you've had— even if the relationship is over for good and there is no hope of getting back together. Thank them for the good things that they offered and for the things that you learned with them.
This may feel impossible to do right away, and that's understandable. At some point, though, it will be best for you to figure out the things that you liked about your relationship. Remember that there was a reason you two were together in the first place. It didn't just happen randomly. Find and appreciate the good times.
Also, telling them that you're grateful for what you had makes you look really good. It shows that you have more in life to live for than the relationship, and that you're going to carry the good things forward with you as you move on.
11. Forgive Them
This might seem impossible at first and it might not happen right away. At some point, though, you'll need to forgive them. Holding onto a grudge — no matter how much you were wronged — only does you harm in the end.
Perhaps you've heard the comparison of how holding a grudge is like a person holding onto a hot coal in order to throw it at someone else. In the end, only the person holding onto the coal gets burned. Even though it may take time, you need to let your anger go. It will only harm you and will do nothing to them.
Why You Should Try to Keep Your Cool
When you respond positively to a breakup — as much as it hurts — it shows several things:
- You show that you're not in denial about what's happening. It will show your ex that you are also capable of moving on and that you don't need them to survive.
- Reacting well shows that you are able to handle yourself even if you are hurting. This shows maturity. Though there's nothing wrong with feeling sad (and in fact, you should take time to feel through the emotions of a breakup), behaving with dignity with your ex will help you feel stronger, and may even help you get over the breakup faster. It also makes you look good in front of them. The last thing you want is to come off looking pathetic.
- Even though you feel hurt, the breakup will end on a good note and you'll earn your ex's respect.
- You might surprise your ex. They'll wonder why you didn't react negatively, which is something many people expect. When you don't beg and plead for them back, you'll show them that you still have a life to live without them and that you're going to be fine.
- You will not regret your actions or feel ashamed because of what you did and you'll feel good about yourself.
Things to Remember During a Breakup
- Give yourself some time to think things through and time to sort out your thoughts regarding what happened. Maybe it was for your own good.
- Not all relationships are meant to survive forever. There are many people out there that will be a good fit for you.
- Things don't always go to plan. Hurt is inevitable. Sometimes there is nothing more that you could have done. Maybe you did everything you could have. Either way — the relationship is over now. Try not to spend too much time rehashing the past.
- If you live in denial or stay angry, you'll only make it harder for yourself to recover. You'll be letting your ex live on in your life when neither of you deserve that. Let them go.
- You probably know this already, but it doesn't hurt to repeat: do not contact your ex for at least two weeks. This gives you and your ex-boyfriend both some time to think and recover.
How to Respond If They Broke Up With You Over Text
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Re-read the text message.
Let's be honest — you're probably going to do that a bunch anyways. It's OK to read (and re-read, and re-read, and re-read). But whatever you do, don't respond just yet.
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Stay put.
Don't respond to the text yet and stay off social media!!! Do not vent there. The chance you'll say something that you regret later is pretty high. Instead . . .
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Journal.
Write down all of your feelings and what you'd want to say to your ex if you could tell them anything in a journal or a paper letter and do not send it to them. This is just for you to vent. Honestly it will help.
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Wait to respond.
Wait 24 hours until you're feeling a little more level-headed. If you're still so mad you just want to text them "I HOPE YOU DIE," wait a little longer.
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Reach out.
Contact friend or family member ASAP and tell them what happened. Texting or calling is good, but it's even better if you hang out with them in person.
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Respond carefully.
When you're ready, and you choose to respond (which you do not have to), you can text them back. Here are some options for what you could say:
"This makes me sad to hear. I wish we could have had this conversation in person. I am grateful for the times that we've shared and I wish you all the best."
"I don't agree with the way you've decided to end things but I'm not going to try to change your mind. Goodbye."
"This was really shocking for me to see. I know that breaking up is hard but I wish we could have done this in person. I think we could have had a good future, but I respect that you don't see things the same way. I wish you all the best."
"Really sad about this — hope you have a good life."
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Be nice.
Even if you're faking it, it is important that you are polite to them because it shows them that, unlike them, you are not a loser. You are a mature adult who can have hard conversations.
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Forgive them.
Then, start the slow process of forgiving them and moving on with your life. You have so much to give. You're an awesome girl and your ex doesn't deserve any more of your time.
How to Move On After a Breakup
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Feel the feelings.
Let yourself be sad, angry, hurt, shocked, heartbroken. Don't try to suppress the emotions. They need to be felt and appreciated. They are real, and what you had was real. Listen to sad breakup songs, watch sad breakup movies (avoid romances!!), and watch raindrops on window panes.
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Write it out.
Journaling is a great tool for you to better understand how you feel. Make a commitment to journal every day even if you don't feel like it and even if you just end up writing their name over and over again. Another helpful tool is writing letters to them (that you don't end up sending). It's a way to trick your mind into getting closure.
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Remember the good times.
Even though you might be hurting right now — and even if it's better that you're broken up — don't forget that there were good things about your relationship. Don't let yourself become bitter. It will only hurt you in the end.
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Let them go.
Ceremonies can be powerful tools to help recover from heartbreak. You could do something like write their name on a piece of paper and then say all of the things that you loved about them, and all the things that you hated about them. Then, you could (carefully!) burn the paper, symbolizing releasing them from your life. Or you could make up your own ceremony.
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Give yourself space.
Hide their pictures and mementos (or give them to a friend for safekeeping — sometimes they're nice to have later on and you'll regret destroying them). Unfriend, unfollow, and block them from social media. Do it. You do not need to know what's happening in their lives. Do not call them, text them, email them, "bump" into them, or otherwise try to contact them for as long as you need to (many people say 30 days). You don't have to just ghost either — you could tell them that you need some space from them for a while and that you'll reach out when you're ready (if you want to).
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Instead, reach out to friends and family.
Hang out with your pals and with the people that love you. They want to support you and help you through this, especially right at the beginning. Let yourself lean on their shoulders.
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Take care of yourself.
You've probably heard this a million times, but that's because it's true. Get enough sleep (8 hours every night!), eat good food (avoid chips, ice cream, candy — anything high carb or high fat), don't try to use alcohol or drugs to make yourself feel better (being sad and hungover is horrible), exercise (there are so many great workout videos on YouTube — try something gentle like yoga), and go outside! (walking is great). Even if you want to curl up and die, your body still needs you to take care of it. You might not feel like it, but just go through the motions at first and trust that eventually you will feel better. You could also try meditating — start with just one minute and try to work your way up to 10 minutes, adding one minute every day. This will help you learn how to sit with your emotions and tune into what your body is feeling.
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Make new memories.
Invite your friends to do something new together. Go on a trip. Read a new book. Go to a concert. Try a new hobby or get back into an old one. Making new memories will help you get started on a new life without your ex. Also, try volunteering or doing something nice for a friend or family member — a great way to forget about how miserable you are is by helping others.
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Forgive your ex.
In time, find a place in your heart to forgive your ex. Remember that, like you, they are just human and just trying to do the best they can. Whether or not you think they were in the right for breaking up with you, what has happened has happened, and the only thing you can do is appreciate what you had together and move forward into the future.
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Forgive yourself.
Maybe you're mad at yourself for not seeing the breakup coming, for not trying hard enough, for hurting them, or for making the same relationship mistakes that you've made before. No matter what — you need to forgive yourself too. Take what you can from this past relationship and learn from it. Know that you are also imperfect and just trying to do your best. You should know that you deserve wonderful relationships full of love, and that you are capable of achieving them.
You Will Get Through This
As hard as breakups are and as much as they suck, you are going to make it through.
Good luck and stay strong.
Have Your Say:
Do you think it matters a lot how you react during a breakup?
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
Questions & Answers
My boyfriend broke up with me because I sent him a message saying he hurt me when he didn't call me on my birthday. He sent me a text wishing me a happy birthday and told me we would talk later but he didn't call. He broke up with me via text message because I sent him a text telling him how I felt. Was I wrong to do this?
It is well-known that women feel hurt when their significant ones or husbands don't wish them a happy birthday. Were you wrong in letting him know how you felt when he didn't wish you a happy birthday? You weren't wrong. He should have apologized and wished you a happy birthday. However, out of anger after letting him know how you felt, he dumped you through a text. That is not a mature manner of solving such an issue in a relationship.
In relationships, a partner may hurt his/her partner directly or indirectly. Thus, it is proper to let your partner know he hurt you by not doing something which means a lot to you.
Helpful 33I was in a nine-month relationship, but we broke up. It is hard for me to move on with all of the memories of the relationship. What should I do?
You should cease any communication with your ex if you're trying to make any contact with him. By not communicating with your ex, you'll allow the healing process to begin. As you continue to exercise No Contact Rule the images of your ex and the relationship will no longer bother you - they will fade away. You should engage in activities that will distract you from thinking about your ex but don't become too busy. I have written several articles on what a partner should do after a breakup so as to be able to move on. A breakup can incapacitate somebody making it hard for that person to move on or confused on what to do.
Helpful 36I was in an 8-year-long relationship but my boyfriend says he needs freedom and wants to talk with other girls. So what should I do?
Time to pack and go i.e leave the relationship. It shows he doesn't respect you as his girlfriend. The fact he says he wants freedom indicates you are obstructing him from talking to other girls. He wants to flirt with girls however he wants while still in a relationship with you.
Once a person commits in a relationship, there are some things he needs to stop doing. He is no longer single with no strings attached. But, the fact is that he considers you as a jail whereby he can't breathe or move.
If your boyfriend lacks respect for who you are in his life, then why bother to continue in the relationship with him? Let him know you no longer want anything to do with him - the relationship is over. You should settle with a man who respects you and understands that some things or behaviors need to be done away once committed in a relationship.
He might have been a nice guy and you've been in the relationship for long; but remember people change and they develop a different perspective pertaining to relationship.
I hope you will find your feet and move on. Don't cling to the fact he is still the nice guy you knew.
Helpful 29She just broke up with me. We have been through this process on and off - getting back together then breaking up. But this time it wasn't a mutual decision. I feel as if it came from nowhere but she still wants us to be friends like we were before, only this time I don't think I can do that anymore. What do I say to her?
You have realized that if you allow yourselves to be platonic friends you'll end up in the same game, an on and off relationship game. Let her know it won't be a good idea to be platonic friends. If it happens so you'll be wasting each other time as the two of you would end up together then break up. Thus, you should stop communicating with each other. You should cease communication because it's evident you were never meant to be together. While friendship is a good thing - returning to the state of friendship before you began dating - it is different now. It will bring back the memories and it will be hard to move on. In the months to come, the feelings for each other will have died thus you'll become casual friends since that is what you are meant to be. But, if you become platonic friends you'll be hurting each other and wasting each other's time.
Helpful 17I have been in a 20-year relationship. My boyfriend broke up with me through text that contained insulting or abusive words. How should I react and reply?
From your description, it appears your boyfriend has ended the relationship because you have prioritized your family above him. However, he has gone to such an extreme in insulting you in such a manner considering you've been in the relationship for 20 years.
Don't respond in anger nor use abusive words as a retaliation or to give him a piece of your mind. Let him know you've pondered on his text the reason you've taken time in responding. Let him know even though you're in a relationship, you can't ignore your family as they are part of your life as he is.
I know you're hurting considering how long you've been together. However, for him to throw such insulting words at you shows he lacks respect for you. If you would like to get back with him or not, let him know you'll accept his proposal that you won't call or text him. It will be hard to restrain yourself from contacting him but in time you'll get used to it.
Don't write a long text. Be brief. Tell him even though he has insulted you, you won't retaliate in anger or insult him. If he doesn't want to be with you it's alright. In time you'll find your foot though your enjoyed your time together. Wish him all the best and thank him for the things you shared together.
Helpful 24
© 2016 Alianess Benny Njuguna
Comments
I can't cope with the pain of my break up. Can't eat or sleep, I feel depressed. Can't sleep without the sleeping pills or wine. And to make things worse I think I’m getting addicted to them. How can I make myself feel better and sleep better?
Wat should i do if he just says he doesnt feel the same, then says we can just be friends, but ignores me imedietly after? we broke up a few months ago and m deleting some fles and found our pictures, im crying lol right now. And he hasnt talked to me since our breakup, even told me how weird i am in one point when i was with my friends. He doesnt talk to me andwhenever i arrive to my friends and hes there, he just stops talking or just leaves. Im hurt! and crying, and i dont know wat to do!
My bf broke up with me and told he he was no longer happy and he wanted freedom. We have both made mistakes in the past and we have been working towards a better us but now he blames me for everything, he tells me I’m insecure that I should love myself that I don’t let him breat, which are all lies I let him have his space and hang out with friends all the time. He is currently in law school and give him as much time and space to study. I honestly thought he was going to be my husband. I helped him economically with everything and I feel like now since he is getting a loan he wants to put me on the side leave and have his fun. While breaking up with me he said horrible things about my self esteem and how everything was my fault and I needed to change.
Idk what to think about all this
My husband of 4 years broke up with me because i dont want polygamy,the problem is that i agreed at first but then we have tried dating 2 girls and it was hard and whenever i told him he would stop or brush it off for a month to say he doesnt need it he was only teasing...another reason i no longer want it is because he has cheated and also slept with my friend i dont he deserves more women but today he called it quits
my boyfriend thinks im cheating on him but im not he told my best friend that is going to break up with me what do i do
i have been with this person in 6 years now. he is my everything, I can't describe how close we are. I really mean it when I say I have found the one, and no-one will love me like he does. the problem is that I invited boys to my birthday party. he have not talked to me in 3 days all he says is that he just need time to think if we are going to break up. someone please tell me what to do, I seriously can't live without him. im writing this crying. I don't know what to do pleas help. I just can't handle this anymore. he is the one who im gonna marry. I didn't know that he is going to end this because of this stupid jealousy.
My ex just broke up with me last month(we have been in a long term relationship for 3 years 8 months).. she feels that we are not meant to be together and feels that our future will be difficult due to financial issue(a friend of mine loaned money from me for a period of time from last year, up till now havent do any repayment to me yet).. i tried to explain to her this can be fixed.. she even told me money can be earned back for the next few years.. she said it cant be fixed anymore.. she dont want to continue this relationship anymore, she is tired and wish to be alone.. she said we are not young anymore, im 32 years old while she is 28years old, she wish to stop wasting each other time.. she dont see herself being happy in the future if she hang on to this relationship.. she dont have feelings for me and this relationship anymore.. she said that she still wanna find what she want to have in her life.. commitment is not the only thing she want actually.. she wanted to explore things that she never explore before..
Once a girl I barely knew tried to "break up" with me and I laughed and told her we were never together to begin with! She started crying and wanted to know why I wouldn't fight for her. That made me laugh even harder and I had to tell her she needed to get over herself.
I lost my girlfriend, before I ready this, I lost my temper, and took it out on her, after that she told me she just needed to focus on school this year, and next year she would be ready, now I've ruined my relationship with her, and now I'm done for, and I can't move on, it's to hard, I need help
Am in a relationship and both of us loves each other. I personally have never think of cheating on her but all the times, I kept telling her more about relationship and they way i want us to take it... I asked her if she have any side boo, she always told me no. Am the only one.
When i came to realized that this girl has been dating with another guy without my knowledge, told her that he will marry her but she said she is not ready for that and still he keeps on prestring her, the very day i know, it was actually sad for me because i have never expect such from her because i love her from my heart.
Now She's staying and still going out with both of us but she loves me the more, she later told me what was happening between her and the other guy and she promised to breakup him, after two days she told me she have brokenup with him but her attitude have change towards me. This is the lady i trusted and now am going through sadness, hurt, paining heartatche.. My decision right now is to quit, Please i need your advice..
I dont know what to write because everything i did in reaction is in sheer contradiction with what you have suggested in this article.
Two months have been passed and im still bowing to her and trying to convince her to stay with me. Even yesterday, i tried alot to talk but no response from her side, although she was online. Then i deleted the social app on which i used to talk to her frequently and sat back, had some weed and slept. Im in abroad and i dont know what to do in such situation. Idont know what has happened to me, she is all over my nerves and heart and i really miss her every where. right now im at job but still trying to console myself with her thoughts and different articles. But now after reading your article, i have decided that i wont try to talk no matter how worse my situation is. I wish i could hold these decisions for longer time as i have made same decision hundreds of times in past two months, and failed badly.
I think my talk here doesnt make any sense at all and im failing miserably to convey what i really want to speak but i dont know, i cant explain whats happening with me
This is such a great advice here. I wish I had read this two weeks ago, before responding to her breakup message. I did not reply in anger, I wanted to take the pressure off of her by expressing my understanding and that I am more the oldschool face-to-face type in these situations. And that oldschool comment caused her to get totally mad at me, as her intention was to let me know in advance should we see each other again. That comment from my side ruined it completely, as I (unintentionally) attacked her way of communicating the breakup. In her first breakup message she suggested if we could reduce it all a bit (.e.g. no intimacy and stuff), but after my response she was so hurt about my reaction in what was her last message, explaining that she just had good intentions in letting me know before we see each other again, she did not want to slap the news right across my face.
Now I haven't heard from her since 10 days and I fear I won't ever see her again. I feel shattered, we were dating for 2 months and we had such a great connection and now it is all gone. I so much wish I had replied authentically, by expressing my sadness about her message, that I had such a great time with her, respect her decision and wish her all the best. Just like it is suggested above.
this is all that I needed Thank you very much
This is beautifully done. I love the layout!
I love you right now! I am very grateful to you for knowing exactly what I need to read right now.
These are amazing:
You have so much to give. You're an awesome girl and your ex doesn't deserve any more of your time.
And: You should know that you deserve wonderful relationships full of love, and that you are capable of achieving them.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
thanks for the advice its so helpful for me
very lucrative. if someone is breaking up with us, it mean someone better is send from God for us.
i love him. and it kills me to the inside. but its over. but im still grateful for everything. even with this pain.i know its going to end badly. but its worth the pain. so thank you
am going through a breakup at the age of 50 and it has shattered me. To love someone who doesn't love you back is gut wrenching.... I do know that i will be ok.
Even if he says sorry nothings gonna change..........
thank you for this
This is actually amazingly good advice.
Great advice!
It takes two people to make a relationship work.
It only takes (one person) to end a relationship.
There is no reason to pursue someone who doesn't want you.
I would also add "DO NOT TRY TO BE INSTANT PLATONIC FRIENDS!"
The person breaking up with you offers to be friends because they don't want to feel like the "bad guy".
The person being dumped hopes that by being friends there may be a chance they can get back together.
Odds are if they do hookup it will be nothing more than a "booty call" or "friends with benefits" scenario in the eyes of the person who ended the relationship. Your ex is the last person who can help you get over them!
You're better off going "cold turkey" and not dealing with your ex at all for at least a year or more depending on how long the relationship lasted.
In order for your (ex) to be "the one" they would have had to see (you) as being "the one"! At the very least a "soul-mate" is someone who actually wants to be with you! (And vice versa).
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
If someone dumps you they clearly don't think you're all that "special",
Thankfully we live on a planet with over 7 Billion other people!
Odds are in everyone's favor that there are hundreds, thousands, or possibly millions of people who would love and appreciate us.
Your future lies ahead of you and not behind you.
Every ending is a new beginning!
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