Can You Be "Just Friends" With Your Ex
When Your Past Relationships Continue in the Present
We're "just friends." We hear it all the time. Can you handle your man or woman continuing a relationship with their ex? Many people say they're okay with the idea, but when actually faced with it, the truth is revealed.
If two past lovers can remain friends, it's either they were never in love in the first place, or there are still unresolved feelings. There are exes who enjoy knowing they can still have free reign in your current life, especially when they still have the "keys" to enter.
Why Can't a Past Relationship Stay in the Past?
Many couples have to deal with exes because somehow the past has transitioned into the present. The important thing is whether they should be "making the cut" into the future. Every relationship is different, but the important thing is to have a mutual agreement especially if kids are involved. Especially if sex was involved, why try to be friends with that ex now and not expect intimacy issues to emerge again.
You Can't Move On to the Next Chapter If You Keep Re-Reading the Last One
You can't say you're committed to someone if you're still dwelling on someone else. It sounds simple, yet it's very difficult for some people to do. It's important to resolve any issues you have with an ex before getting another person involved. Or make sure you're truly over that person before moving on. No one wants to be with a man/woman who is still "hung up" over their ex or feel like they're the second choice.
Scars Remind Us of Where We've Been
Keeping your ex in your present and future are a constant reminder of the person you used to be. It can be either wonderful or painful memories, but the reminder is always there. Do you want others to remember you for who you were or the person you've become?
It's a Two-Way Street
What's good for the goose should be good for the gander. One person can't be "just friends" with their ex and expect the other to stand by passively. It's either it's acceptable or not, but there must be agreed upon boundaries in a relationship to ensure no one is confused.
Using the Bricks From Your Past Relationship Will Build the Same House
If you're doing the same things, don't expect different results. People wonder why they're doomed to meet the same kind of person all the time. The problem may be you. If you're holding on to your past and bringing it into your future, then the cycle with continue.
A Feather in Your Cap
So what's the real reason for keeping exes around? Do you lack friends and need to maintain all you've had to be satisfied? Are you afraid of being forgotten? Or does having that person around boost your ego or self-esteem? Whatever the reason, you have to be honest with yourself before moving forward.
A lot of people accept things they wouldn't normally accept and bury their true feelings to maintain peace in their relationships. This leads to feeling of resentment later on that could have easily been prevented. Staying friends with your ex is not a problem if you're still single, but it gets complicated when others are now involved. It you're in love with someone, do all you can to stay in love. Even if it means leaving your past in the past.