5 Ways to Tell If Your Ex Is Stalking You

Updated on January 30, 2015

Relationships can be fun. Once they end, however, they can go one of three ways. Either the two of you become friends, or you refuse to see each other, or your ex will go crazy without you and try to win you back.

While that last one can be mildly entertaining, it can also be a very scary experience, especially when you want nothing to do with him. This goes for guys, too. There are some pretty insane chicks out there.

Here is a list of ways to tell if your ex is on the crazy stalker side of things.

My Experience With a Stalker Ex-Boyfriend

Justin and I had a blast at the beginning of our relationship. Toward the end, however, he went a little crazy. He decided to buy me a ring for the Sadie Hawkins dance our freshman year. That should've been a huuuuuuge sign, but I thought it was cute. Of course I did. I was a freshman in high school.

Then he started getting overprotective, telling me to stay away from my guy friends, that he was the only boy I should be talking to, and that I should always be at his beck and call. I was there to make him happy, after all.

Excuse me? What am I, your slave girl? Eff that.

We broke up and we moved on. At least, I did.

Two summers later, he started calling my house continuously. Every day, sometimes up to five times a day. I didn't tell my parents, and my younger brother thought it was hilarious. Finally I blocked his number. And this is when the trouble began...

I'm not going to bother you with all the details. I'm only telling you that I know where you are. I've been there. I am there. I am not enjoying it. And I don't want to see anyone else get hurt by this situation.

Signs Your Ex Is Stalking You

1. He "magically" acquires your cellphone number.

I'm still not sure how Justin got my cell number. But if you never gave your cellphone number to your ex, or if you got a cellphone after you two broke up, and now he's calling you on it, be wary. Find out how he got the number. Did he ask your friends? Coworkers? Family? Did he use some phony line to get it, or did he ask outright?

If he went for the phony line, it's a huge red flag. Block the number. Sure, now that he's got your digits, he'll try calling from other lines to confuse you. This is why you should never answer phone calls from numbers you don't know. That should be a huge duh, but some girls don't get that.

If he asked outright, it may not be a red flag. He's being honest, which is a good sign. Maybe he just wants to be friends? But if that's not on your life's agenda, tell him so; he might actually listen, provided he's still living in Sanity Land.

2. You run into him almost everywhere you go.

How does he know where I am all the time?

More than likely, he's got his friends watching you. He'll give them some bogus tale to trick them into doing this, then, when they see you, they'll inform him and TADA! He's right there.

Huge red flag.

That type of behavior is not normal. Then again, don't go freaking out because you saw him at Wal-Mart grocery shopping. He could just be grocery shopping, given he's not aproaching you every chance he gets. Even so, if you're catching him hiding behind corners, stealing glances at you, I would advise you remove yourself from the area quickly. That is an obvious stalker tactic.

If he's doing that, he's probably not too bright, either.

Jeeze, what did we ever see in these guys, anyway?

3. He gets a job at a place you visit regularly.

Now, this could just mean he needs a job, and this place was the only place hiring. Nonetheless, it's scary to see him at your favorite restaurant or gas station almost every day, especially if he's been exhibiting stalker-like behaviors.

For Justin, I think he got the job at the Mobile station because it was a few blocks from his house. This isn't the case anymore, but he's still working there. And it creeps me out every time I see him.

Does he insist on ringing you up or being your server? Does he ask you personal questions every chance he gets? Has he memorized your usual order? This last one might just be a sign of observance, but it's still spine-tingling (and not in a good way).

Consider going to a different gas station or restaurant. If you only went there because of convenience, it's not a big deal. If you went there because it's the cheapest station or food joint in town, it's gonna suck a little. But there are other stations and other delectable diners.

4. He asks your friends, coworkers, or family weird questions.

"What's she doing today?" "Does she have a boyfriend?" "Do you know where she is right now?" "Could you talk to her about me?"

There are a ton of other creepy curious questions he might ask. Every guy's different. Be sure to talk to your friends about the situation. Let them in on the skinny: you're not interested in him and he's creeping you out. Tell them, "Please, don't talk to him, ok?" Your friends will get the hint quickly.

Oh, and don't take up those offers from your guy pals to let them beat him up. It gets you nowhere. If anything, it makes it worse.

5. He tries to make a pass at you.

This can only happen if you allowed him to hang out with you. He'll try to flirt a little, get the charm flowing, then he'll swing in for the kiss.

They don't always try this maneuver. It depends on his integrity (and whether or not he has any).

Also, this almost goes without saying but: DO NOT let him be near you while you are intoxicated or otherwise incapacitated. He will try to do something. You will not like it.

And you'll feel like you need to shower for days afterwards.

Oh, and if he moves in with a mutual friend of yours, avoid the friend's place until your ex is gone. It won't be pretty otherwise. Trust me on that.

I could honestly go on and on and on about tell-tale signs of stalker exes, but I believe those covered the basics. I don't want to overwhelm you with a bunch of red flags. If your ex is showing two or more of these signs, be careful! And if you're worried about your safety, you can always file a restraining order against him.

Be safe, be cautious, and be smart! Stalkers are scary!

This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.

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        4 months ago

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        4 months ago

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        4 months ago

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        Smith Jerry 

        4 months ago

        PHYSICAL INTIMACYFRIENDSHIPRELATIONSHIPSBREAKUPSRELATIONSHIP PROBLEMSDATINGSOCIAL SKILLS & ETIQUETTELOVEGENDER AND SEXUALITYRELATIONSHIP ADVICECOMPATIBILITYSINGLE LIFE

        PairedLife»Relationship Problems»Cheating

        Is My Partner Cheating? Apps That Hide Text Messages and Phone Calls

        Updated on April 28, 2016

        Sadie14 profile imageBrittany B moreContact Author

        Phone Apps That Hide Secret Text Messages and Calls

        Is a loved one hiding a relationship from you with a little help from smartphone technology? I recently noticed a group of apps designed to conceal text messages and phone calls received from specific people. The ones that struck me the most were Second Phone Apps' series of Hide My Calls and Hide My Text apps for Android devices.

        Second Phone Apps offers a series of Android apps for concealing calls and text messages from designated contacts.

        Second Phone Apps offers a series of Android apps for concealing calls and text messages from designated contacts.

        When you install one of these apps, you choose the contacts whose texts and calls you wish to hide. Once you put these contacts into the app, their calls or texts won't trigger the same alerts that you get for other contacts. Instead, you might get a pop-up saying "software update available," or your phone might merely vibrate, or you won't get any alert at all (so you'll have to proactively check the app).

        During setup, you choose the contacts whose calls and texts you want the app to conceal. You can also choose how the app should notify you of calls or texts from these contacts.

        During setup, you choose the contacts whose calls and texts you want the app to conceal. You can also choose how the app should notify you of calls or texts from these contacts.

        Decoys to Conceal the Concealer App

        What's really insidious about these apps is how difficult it is to detect them if you don't know about them. To read the messages or look at the phone calls from these designated contacts, the user launches the app from an innocuous-looking icon (the so-called decoy app), and must then enter a password.

        Second Phone Apps' various versions of Hide My Text or Hide My Calls append to the app's name a description of the icon: In addition to the baseball icon in these screenshots, you can find one with a purse (for a decoy app called Shopper), for example. There's even a version that has no icon: Hide My Text-Invisible launches from a button that only appears when you tap an area of a black screen.

        Hide My Text-Invisible launches from a red button that only appears when you tap on the bottom of a black screen.

        Hide My Text-Invisible launches from a red button that only appears when you tap on the bottom of a black screen.

        If anyone else clicks on the app and doesn't know where to enter the password, they'll see a message about a system error, or perhaps an expired subscription.

        An incorrect login to the decoy Baseball app produces a message about an expired subscription.

        An incorrect login to the decoy Baseball app produces a message about an expired subscription.

        Most Hide My Text apps are available in both paid and free versions. The free ones let you hide texts and calls for up to five contacts; the paid ones set no limits on the number of contacts whose texts and calls you can conceal.

        What Decoy Apps Are Used For

        These apps make it easy for people to be dishonest by concealing relationships they don't want nosy partners or parents to sniff out by checking cell phone messages or call logs. Here are what some users had to say about these apps in reviews (note that one points out a few shortcomings):

        "This app is the shizznit! Now my girl can go thru my ph all day if she wants..."

        "Looks like a game that hides my text messages, awesome. Great app, helps a lot..."

        "Great app for phone, but depending on the phone carrier, the numbers will still appear on the online statements."

        iOS Alternatives?

        Apple keeps a tight rein on iPhone apps, and there don't appear to be completely comparable iOS alternatives in the iTunes App Store. Apps such as CoverMe can help you keep calls and text messages secret, but they don't create decoy icons, so at the very least a snoop can see you're using an app designed to help conceal communications from prying eyes.

        So-called jailbreakers—people who develop iOS software outside of Apple's ecosystem—may have apps that do what Hide My Text does. Researching these, however, is beyond the scope of this article.

        Bottom line for suspicious parents or spouses is that people who want to cheat will always find ways to do so. These days, they probably can find technology that will help them out.

        QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

        Ask the author a question

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        COMMENTS

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        However, it may not appear until it has been approved by the author.

        Thank you for participating!

        profile image

        Serah Smith

        44 hours ago

        i have been deceived by my fiancée , I thought what we had together really

        meant something to her without knowing it was nothing to her , So I hired

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        She was always coming in late without been able to explain where she was

        really coming from . All thanks to Hacknet107at gmail I was able to catch her

        cheating red handed

      • profile image

        Serah Smith 

        5 months ago

        Relationship is now getting worse everyday because spouses are cheating I will only advice you to contact Hacknet107 at gmall dot com she just help delivered my job she's just so perfect in any form of hacking service

        Hacknet107 at gmall dot com

      • profile image

        Frenk Joshua 

        5 months ago

        ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION!!!

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        HACKNET 107@gmail.com They helped me clear all my doubts by Hacking into his phone and I got all the necessary information.

      • profile image

        Rita Anderson 

        5 months ago

        Do you think your boyfriend or husband is cheating on you? Let the country's best female PIs help you get to the bottom of it. We are shooting a new TV pilot for and are looking to help. Please email Hacknet 107@gmail.com for further details.

      • profile image

        Amor 

        5 months ago

        Leaving another person who he is with to follow you is another sign, especially early in the morning and in bad weather conditions.

      • profile image

        Linda Kimbely 

        6 months ago

        i have been deceived by my fiancée , I thought what we had together really

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        cheating red handed

      • profile image

        Jamie 

        18 months ago

        I was with a guy for 6 years and he was emotionally and mentally abusive. Almost hit me one time. I ended things last year for good because he was really abusive and I couldn't do it anymore. I was on Skype one day talking to a friend and my ex messaged me because I was hanging out with this friend and he asked if I moved on. I said no and he was like please take me back. I will never hurt you again. I felt so emotionally and mentally drained by him abusing me that I said I can't do it. Then he would constantly call, text and email saying how much he misses me. He would come to my job to look for me.

      • profile image

        FeliciaJJ 

        2 years ago

        My ex boyfriend who i broke up with for being mentally abusive, is now stalking me. He also lied about his age by alot. He said he was 19 he is in his 30's i believe. It is a long distance and he is now sending me letters and bugging my friends because i changed my number and blocked him on everything. He didnt have my address. but he told my friend that he sent me a letter. i have not gotten anything yet. but he is scaring me. should i get a restraining order? im only 16

      • profile image

        misswhrrrled 

        2 years ago

        "...what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

        ^me, after reading these comments.

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        3 years ago

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        chloe 

        4 years ago

        Hello friends i want to share my testimony and how grateful i'm since my lover came back to me because of the grate help Lord Masuka whose email address is lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com.com render to me. my boyfriend broke up with me first week of july this year because he thought i was cheating on him, he told me that his friends has been telling him that i have been seeing someone else when he is not around i tried to make him understand that his friends are lieing to him but he did not give me the chance to explain to him this was how he left me. after a month of our breakup i tried to live a normal life without him but it was very hard for me to cope then i decided to contact Lord masuka via his email address lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com which i came across this months September 12th during my search looking for help how to get my lover back he cast a love spell for me and make my lover to come back to me within the period of 48hours. with this grate joy in my heart i want to say a big thanks to lord masuka he is the best spell caster and he is the best solution.Here is his website http://lordmasukalovespelltemple.webs.com you will be happy thereafter. You can add him up on Skype lord.Masuka

      • profile image

        chloe 

        4 years ago

        Hello friends i want to share my testimony and how grateful i'm since my lover came back to me because of the grate help Lord Masuka whose email address is lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com.com render to me. my boyfriend broke up with me first week of july this year because he thought i was cheating on him, he told me that his friends has been telling him that i have been seeing someone else when he is not around i tried to make him understand that his friends are lieing to him but he did not give me the chance to explain to him this was how he left me. after a month of our breakup i tried to live a normal life without him but it was very hard for me to cope then i decided to contact Lord masuka via his email address lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com which i came across this months September 12th during my search looking for help how to get my lover back he cast a love spell for me and make my lover to come back to me within the period of 48hours. with this grate joy in my heart i want to say a big thanks to lord masuka he is the best spell caster and he is the best solution.Here is his website http://lordmasukalovespelltemple.webs.com you will be happy thereafter.

      • profile image

        mpumei 

        5 years ago

        I love my ex boyfriend more than my boy friend

      • profile image

        larasmith 

        5 years ago

        After being in relationship with my boyfriend for six years,he broke up with me,I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem. Contact him now for your relationship or marriage problems via this email ofuaspiritualtemple@gmail.com

      • profile image

        Lee 

        5 years ago

        In this type of scenario I can be viewed as the stalker but its all really insane the chain of events leading to everything. I dated my ex fiancé Virginia for five years. She then began with lies about going out and on some nights wouldn't come home at all due to her heavy drinking all the sudden. Finally this last November first I had had enough and it was time for the ultimatum, partying or me. She choose partying. As I was she'll shocked I had plans of us getting married in February, and to my surprise she was ending things with me and basically she took off for a few days. Saying she was at her sisters when really she was off in Vegas with her best friend, I knew when she had come back she had lied. She came back on my birthday and lied to me about where she was. Anyways to make a long story short yes I did yell at her, I was hurt. However I let her stay and we were intimate until the middle of this January. When she came the first time to get her things she physically hit me in the jaw, and kicked me in the groin at free will which put me on the ground. At that point I was glad she was leaving. The next time she came to get her things she called the cops because I had changed the locks since she wasn't living there anymore. There was no clue as to what she was up to besides drinking heavily which I could tell due to Facebook. So she gets her things, leaves me with the gas and electric bill three months behind and then one day my old best friend calls and says dude ur ex wanted me to serve u with papers. Now keep

      • profile image

        Lee 

        5 years ago

        In this type of scenario I can be viewed as the stalker but its all really insane the chain of events leading to everything. I dated my ex fiancé Virginia for five years. She then began with lies about going out and on some nights wouldn't come home at all due to her heavy drinking all the sudden. Finally this last November first I had had enough and it was time for the ultimatum, partying or me. She choose partying. As I was she'll shocked I had plans of us getting married in February, and to my surprise she was ending things with me and basically she took off for a few days. Saying she was at her sisters when really she was off in Vegas with her best friend, I knew when she had come back she had lied. She came back on my birthday and lied to me about where she was. Anyways to make a long story short yes I did yell at her, I was hurt. However I let her stay and we were intimate until the middle of this January. When she came the first time to get her things she physically hit me in the jaw, and kicked me in the groin at free will which put me on the ground. At that point I was glad she was leaving. The next time she came to get her things she called the cops because I had changed the locks since she wasn't living there anymore. There was no clue as to what she was up to besides drinking heavily which I could tell due to Facebook. So she gets her things, leaves me with the gas and electric bill three months behind and then one day my old best friend calls and says dude ur ex wanted me to serve u with papers. Now keep

      • profile image

        sophia 

        6 years ago

        LOVE SPELL

        This powerful White magic love spell is tailored to bring your lover back in your arms permanently and with no delay. I use the best spell casting techniques to make your lover come home. This spell is customized to your situation and deals specifically with the barriers that have risen between you and your ex-partner. One by one, all obstacles will be removed until your lover realizes that leaving you was a mistake and desire nothing but coming back into your arms.you can also contact him in is email address /dr.kokotemple@gmail.com

      • profile image

        gojofan 

        6 years ago

        To kathychristy, I believe you. I also have someone who has been following me for 15 years. He is my ex-husband and we have been divorced for 15 years. At first he was very threatening and I had to get a restraining order. Things never got out of control and he never got violent, but ever since he has been following me. I have moved twice since then, the last time half way across the country and each time he follows me. I am just waiting for him to do something, and sometimes I get pissed off that he hasn't. I have become a hermit because of this fear. But after all this time my fear is starting to turn into anger. I just want my security back and not have to always look over my shoulder. It is nice to know that other people know how I feel. I do find it odd that people will stalk other people for such long periods of time, and I don't understand why they do that.

      • profile image

        juliet 

        6 years ago

        I WANT YOU ALL TO HELP ME THANK drsabon,i am FROM canada.THE SPELL CASTER WHO MADE ME WHOM I AM AGAIN TODAY FOR BRINGING MY EX HUSBAND BACK,WHO HAS LEFT ME FOR PASS 5 YEARS AFTER TEN YEARS IN MARRIAGE WITH NO CHILD BUT TODAY AFTER I HAVE MEET WITH THIS WONDERFUL SPELL CASTER drsabon MY LIFE CHANGE FROM BAD TO GOOD MY EX HUSBAND START SEARCHING FOR ME AGAIN,I WANT TO THANK GOD TODAY I AM PREGNANT FOR MY EX HUSBAND 3 MONTH SO I MUST THANK drsabon FOR BRINGING HAPPINESS TO MY LIFE IF YOU WANT TO CONFIRM IT OR YOU HAVE SUCH PROBLEM DO CONTACT HIM VIA: drsabonspelltemple@gmail.com, THE drsabon FOR YOUR SOLUTION.

      • profile image

        eli 

        6 years ago

        it is my first time experiencing stalking from a guy. it is scary ,i don't know what to do. the fear is not a good feeling

      • profile image

        mell 

        6 years ago

        hello

      • profile image

        Americanhoney 

        6 years ago

        My x has secretively bugged our home...set up voice activated recorders...watched our son have sex through a whole in the drywall...damaged our sense of security! My kids no lo.ger feel safe and neither do I!!

        I have been separated for 6u yrs off and on and he thinks he owns me!! So tired in V.A!!!

      • profile image

        Mich 

        6 years ago

        I've been going thru the samething the only thing is my ex stalks me with his new girls and the new girls stalk me on top and tell stories, they take my mail etc.

      • profile image

        kathychristy 

        6 years ago

        I HAVE BEEN STALKED FOR OVER TEN YEARS.I WAS IN LOVE WITH A GUY WHO DID NOT LOVE ME SO I TRIED TO END IT NICELY.NEVER DID THAT HAPPEN HE FOLLOWS ME EVERYWHERE AND LIVES NEAR ME SOMEWHERE CLOSE AND WATCHES ME ALL THE TIME .HE THINKS I DON'T KNOW BUT I KNOW HE IS ALWAYS WHEREI AM.I NEVER REALLY SEE HIM BUT I KNOW HE IS THER TRUST ME I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.I KNOW IT ISN'T LOVE BECAUSE HE COULD BE HE WITH ME BUT HE ALWAYS KEEPS HIS DISTANCE.NOYHING I CAN DO THIS SUCKS AND SO DOES HE .I WANT TO GET A BOYFRIEND THAT LOVES ME BUT MENTALLY I CANT.BELIEVE ME HE FOLLOWS ME TO WORK,VACATION,PARTIES.FRIENDS HOUSES AND IS ALWAYS LURKING /WHY I MAY NEVER KNOW

      • profile image

        mack 

        6 years ago

        Dear friends, i had a problem with my girl friend 2year ago, which lead to our broke up. when she broke up with me, i was not my self again, i fill so empty inside me. until a friend of my Walt pen told me about a spell caster who helped him in the same problem too. i email the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. before i knew what was happening my girl friend gave me a call and told me that she was coming back to me and was so joyous to have her back to me. we have two kids together and we are happy with our selves. thanks to oracletemplesolution@live.com for saving my relationship and for also saving others own too. continue your good work the great spell caster.

      • profile image

        YUPnPn 

        6 years ago

        He's so gone, click click disabled like a virtual device stalker IT they think udon't know they stalk thru ports and ghost tunnels. BYEBYE

      • profile image

        Nikki 

        6 years ago

        Okay this is my story. I'm not sure if either one of them is concerted stalking or not but I know one thing I do feel super uncomfortable.

        Firs off my problem revolves around two guys. One of them I don't think I have to worry about anymore. Thank god.

        The one that disappeared out of my life, which I'm grateful for. I had been in a relationship with him for 5 months. Within this relationship I was pressured to have sex (I was a virgin). After he got my virginity ; He lost interest in sex for about a month or so and then he started pounded me about it. He got super mad and told me I didn't love him. So the next mourning I gave in && it became a routine. He had bought me a phone as soon as we got together he use to take the phone away from me and read my messages. As if I had something to hide.

        He had been cheating on me but that is besides the point. Now on the sex part I never told my family because he told me they would be disappointed in me & never let me see him again. This relationship was the worse one of my life. I'm 17 now. I just had turned 16. When we broke up I thought that was the end of him. He stayed a friend on facebook but me and him didn't talk. Till one day I got a message in my inbox supposedly from his parents saying that I needed to call them right away. Giving me a number. I got worried because I guess even after all the bullshit I still kinda cared so I called the number to find out it was nothing.

        He began to beg me back ;; telling me how he loved me and blah blah blah. He begged me to let him come pick me up and me and him hang out. But I didn't go which pissed him off. I ended up blocking him on facebook. So that's the end of him right? Wrong. I have a small family based store below my house ; Like literally below. The owner informed me that the same time my lil sibling was to get off from school (Which I normally went and waited for) He had came to the store to walk around like he was waiting then he left.

        A little close to home? Yes! Then I found out a few months later that he had been asking my teachers at my school How I was doing in school and other stuff. Now as far as If he's still keeping tabs on me I actually don't know !

        Secondly. I have a current ex. Who I broke up with in November. After finding out about him cheating with his ex girlfriend (who would do anything for him and thinks everything he says is the freaking gospel ) This girl is just like me ! Same hair color, eye color & almost same body type. She's just taller and way younger. We have similar likes ;; And possible career paths. Weird Huh?

        I blocked him on facebook because he had got where he was constantly on my facebook. But it didn't stop there... He had my number so he'd text me. && Make me feel like shit for not being with him.

        But let me back up. The first time I felt uncomfortable is when I went to walmart with his ex ; who became my friend.... weird story ! He had two different people follow us around the store wanting to know what we were doing...

        Then he started using a common friend's facebook to stalk my facebook...

        This guy i can't shake him... He makes me feel like shit ;; He's keeping tabs on me and I honest to god don't know what to do. Hes too scared to come close to my house because he knows my brother would beat the shit out of him. But he has recently became friends with some of my friends. And hangs out with my best friend a lot.... So if I got to her house I risk seeing her. That works for two of my friends. Maybe it's me be obsessing but I do feel uncomfortable about this boy.. Could he become a stalker? Or has he already became one...

      working

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