5 Ways to Tell If Your Ex Is Stalking You
Relationships can be fun. Once they end, however, they can go one of three ways. Either the two of you become friends, or you refuse to see each other, or your ex will go crazy without you and try to win you back.
While that last one can be mildly entertaining, it can also be a very scary experience, especially when you want nothing to do with him. This goes for guys, too. There are some pretty insane chicks out there.
Here is a list of ways to tell if your ex is on the crazy stalker side of things.
My Experience With a Stalker Ex-Boyfriend
Justin and I had a blast at the beginning of our relationship. Toward the end, however, he went a little crazy. He decided to buy me a ring for the Sadie Hawkins dance our freshman year. That should've been a huuuuuuge sign, but I thought it was cute. Of course I did. I was a freshman in high school.
Then he started getting overprotective, telling me to stay away from my guy friends, that he was the only boy I should be talking to, and that I should always be at his beck and call. I was there to make him happy, after all.
Excuse me? What am I, your slave girl? Eff that.
We broke up and we moved on. At least, I did.
Two summers later, he started calling my house continuously. Every day, sometimes up to five times a day. I didn't tell my parents, and my younger brother thought it was hilarious. Finally I blocked his number. And this is when the trouble began...
I'm not going to bother you with all the details. I'm only telling you that I know where you are. I've been there. I am there. I am not enjoying it. And I don't want to see anyone else get hurt by this situation.
Signs Your Ex Is Stalking You
1. He "magically" acquires your cellphone number.
I'm still not sure how Justin got my cell number. But if you never gave your cellphone number to your ex, or if you got a cellphone after you two broke up, and now he's calling you on it, be wary. Find out how he got the number. Did he ask your friends? Coworkers? Family? Did he use some phony line to get it, or did he ask outright?
If he went for the phony line, it's a huge red flag. Block the number. Sure, now that he's got your digits, he'll try calling from other lines to confuse you. This is why you should never answer phone calls from numbers you don't know. That should be a huge duh, but some girls don't get that.
If he asked outright, it may not be a red flag. He's being honest, which is a good sign. Maybe he just wants to be friends? But if that's not on your life's agenda, tell him so; he might actually listen, provided he's still living in Sanity Land.
2. You run into him almost everywhere you go.
How does he know where I am all the time?
More than likely, he's got his friends watching you. He'll give them some bogus tale to trick them into doing this, then, when they see you, they'll inform him and TADA! He's right there.
Huge red flag.
That type of behavior is not normal. Then again, don't go freaking out because you saw him at Wal-Mart grocery shopping. He could just be grocery shopping, given he's not aproaching you every chance he gets. Even so, if you're catching him hiding behind corners, stealing glances at you, I would advise you remove yourself from the area quickly. That is an obvious stalker tactic.
If he's doing that, he's probably not too bright, either.
Jeeze, what did we ever see in these guys, anyway?
3. He gets a job at a place you visit regularly.
Now, this could just mean he needs a job, and this place was the only place hiring. Nonetheless, it's scary to see him at your favorite restaurant or gas station almost every day, especially if he's been exhibiting stalker-like behaviors.
For Justin, I think he got the job at the Mobile station because it was a few blocks from his house. This isn't the case anymore, but he's still working there. And it creeps me out every time I see him.
Does he insist on ringing you up or being your server? Does he ask you personal questions every chance he gets? Has he memorized your usual order? This last one might just be a sign of observance, but it's still spine-tingling (and not in a good way).
Consider going to a different gas station or restaurant. If you only went there because of convenience, it's not a big deal. If you went there because it's the cheapest station or food joint in town, it's gonna suck a little. But there are other stations and other delectable diners.
4. He asks your friends, coworkers, or family weird questions.
"What's she doing today?" "Does she have a boyfriend?" "Do you know where she is right now?" "Could you talk to her about me?"
There are a ton of other creepy curious questions he might ask. Every guy's different. Be sure to talk to your friends about the situation. Let them in on the skinny: you're not interested in him and he's creeping you out. Tell them, "Please, don't talk to him, ok?" Your friends will get the hint quickly.
Oh, and don't take up those offers from your guy pals to let them beat him up. It gets you nowhere. If anything, it makes it worse.
5. He tries to make a pass at you.
This can only happen if you allowed him to hang out with you. He'll try to flirt a little, get the charm flowing, then he'll swing in for the kiss.
They don't always try this maneuver. It depends on his integrity (and whether or not he has any).
Also, this almost goes without saying but: DO NOT let him be near you while you are intoxicated or otherwise incapacitated. He will try to do something. You will not like it.
And you'll feel like you need to shower for days afterwards.
Oh, and if he moves in with a mutual friend of yours, avoid the friend's place until your ex is gone. It won't be pretty otherwise. Trust me on that.
I could honestly go on and on and on about tell-tale signs of stalker exes, but I believe those covered the basics. I don't want to overwhelm you with a bunch of red flags. If your ex is showing two or more of these signs, be careful! And if you're worried about your safety, you can always file a restraining order against him.
Be safe, be cautious, and be smart! Stalkers are scary!