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Is it a sign that my ex still loves me if he keeps calling me? My ex-girlfriend sent me a cute text message. Does that mean she still likes me and wants to get back with me?
He lied to me about moving on and hooking up with a new girl. Why would he do this? Find answers to all these questions and more. This post discusses some of the telltale signs that your ex is still not over you.
21 Signs Your Ex Is Not Over You and Still Loves You
1. They follow what you do online.
If they're following your online activity, they probably still like you.
2. You get a lot of calls from an unknown number.
They want to hear your voice but don't want you to know it's them when they call.
3. They say bad things about your current boyfriend or girlfriend.
This is a clear sign of jealousy.
4. They send you hateful email or text messages.
Showing anger means they're still thinking about you all the time.
5. They call you without any particular reason.
Calling just to chat means they miss talking to you.
6. You hear from your mutual friends that your ex keeps talking about you.
If your mutual friends mention that they're talking about you, they probably still have feelings.
7. They suddenly take full responsibility for everything that went wrong in your relationship.
This could just be a desperate attempt to show they're a changed person.
8. You seem to bump into each other way too often.
This could be a sign they're hanging out in your favorite spots.
9. They reminisce with you about the good times.
They're trying to persuade you to have a change of heart.
10. They lie about having a new boyfriend or girlfriend.
This is a sure sign they're trying to show off for you.
11. They get touchy-feely when you hang out together.
This shows they want to be close to you still.
12. They're eager to console you when you're sad.
Maybe they hope that in a vulnerable moment you'll change your mind.
13. They text you.
Any kind of persistent contact is a sign they're not over you.
14. They call you to reminisce.
If they call just to go over sweet moments of your relationship, they definitely still love you.
15. They share love quotes or statuses online.
If they're broadcasting their heart, it's likely that they hope you take notice.
16. They call you when they're drunk.
Drunk calls are a classic sign of an unrequited heart.
17. They refuse to move on.
If they make a point of not trying to meet other people, they could be waiting for you.
18. They're curious about your love life.
Showing interest in your love life means they want to know if they still have a chance.
19. They have extreme emotions towards you (hate, anger, or sadness)
If they're very angry with you, it's likely a symptom of love beneath the surface.
20. They resist giving your stuff back.
This could mean they're holding on to it, hoping you'll change your mind.
21. They tell you outright that they miss you.
Obviously, this means they definitely still have feeling for you.
1. They Like Almost All of Your Facebook Posts, Retweet Your Tweets, and Share Your Blog Posts
Traditional advice columns would cite stalking as a sign of interest. But stalking on foot is no longer necessary because Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and blogs are more than enough for your ex to keep up with your daily activities.
An instant sign that your ex is stalking you is when they like, retweet, and share almost all your online updates. This includes updates on your whereabouts, your latest photos, and even silly rants. This could be their way of feeling that even though you have broken up, there is still a bridge that lets him or her peek into your life.
If you still like your ex and want to get back together, this could be a good way to start talking to them in a low-pressure situation.
If you don't want to get back together and are trying to avoid communicating with your ex, remember that you don't have to respond or like or follow their stuff. You could always unfriend or block them—though it might seem harsh, it will probably save you a lot of piece of mind.
2. You Get a Lot of Calls From an Unknown Number
If your ex is still in love with you, there is no doubt that he or she wants to hear your voice. At the same time, they wouldn't want to risk calling you from a number that you are familiar with.
To avoid being identified, they may call you from an unknown number or may even hide the caller ID on their cell phone. If you are suddenly receiving many calls from withheld numbers just after your breakup, and your gut feeling tells you that it is your ex, then it probably is.
While an unknown number could be your ex, it could also be someone else completely unrelated. You can play it safe by not picking up the phone if you don't know the caller—if it's something important they'll leave a message.
3. They Say Bad Things About Your Current Boyfriend or Girlfriend
Your ex has no business commenting about your personal life after your breakup. Bad-mouthing your current girlfriend or boyfriend clearly shows that they don't like seeing you with your new love.
This is one of those things that your ex won't tell you directly. But you will probably hear it as gossip from some of your common friends.
If you've moved on, you don't need to engage with your ex in their negativity. Simply ignore their comments—you could even ask your friends not to tell you what they're saying since it disturbs your peace of mind.
4. They Send You Hateful Email and Text Messages
Don't be under the impression that your ex is sending you hateful messages because he or she has moved on and is simply channeling general feelings of hate for you. The messages that are full of anger may, in fact, be a way for them to vent their frustration about the heartbreak.
Take it as a sign that your ex has not moved on from your breakup. The anger suggests that he or she blames you for what happened.
Lashing out and sending angry messages or emails is a clear sign of emotional immaturity. They shouldn't be subjecting you to their raw emotions like this, especially since it's likely you're trying to heal too.
Don't engage with them. Ignore their texts or emails, no matter how bad you want to respond.
5. They Call You Without Any Particular Reason
Friends, boyfriends and girlfriends, and husbands and wives can all call each other for no reason, but exes generally don't. Unless you are the best of friends with your ex, he or she shouldn't have any business calling you and saying:
- I just called because I was getting bored.
- Hey, what's up.
- I was thinking about you and just wanted to say hi. So, what are you up to?
If you don't have an interest in getting back together with your ex, then you should discourage this kind of behavior. Ask them why they're calling, and if it's not something important, tell them that you think it's best that you don't talk.
If you are thinking of reversing the breakup, then this is a great sign that they're on the same page as you.
6. You Hear From Your Mutual Friends That Your Ex Keeps Talking About You
Mutual friends and common acquaintances play a major role in post-breakup fallouts because they are in touch with both sides. Moreover, they also play the role of the supportive friend who helps someone cheer up after heartbreak.
These common friends are the first people your ex will speak to if he or she wants to find out about what is going on in your life.
Don't feel like you need to respond to these comments. Just take them as a sign that your ex is still not over you.
7. They Suddenly Take Full Responsibility for Everything That Went Wrong in Your Relationship
If your ex seems to be turning a new leaf and making unreal confessions about being solely responsible for everything that went wrong in your relationship, this flip-flop behavior may actually be as unreal as it sounds.
Don't be fooled by this sudden change of heart. This could very well be your ex's desperate attempt to somehow show you that he or she is a changed person. It is a sign that they still love you and hope to get back in a relationship with you.
Even if you still have feelings for them, no one ever shares the blame 100% in a breakup. This kind of dramatic behavior could point to emotional instability—be careful of getting together again.
8. You Seem to Bump Into Each Other Way Too Often
Unless you two have the same set of friends, there is really no reason why you should be bumping into each other all the time. Finding each other at the same cafe or bumping into each other on the bus a couple of times may be a coincidence, but any more than that is not normal.
Bumping into you deliberately may be your ex's way of meeting you after your breakup. This may be the case if he or she is beyond the point of simply missing you. In fact, this is probably when he or she is really desperate to get back in touch with you.
Remember that it's best to avoid communicating with your ex after a breakup, so just be polite and say hi and then move on. You don't need to talk to them. If they ignore you, that's fine too. The fact they're there at all means they still have feelings for you.
9. They Send You Old Pictures Captioned With, "Remember When We..."
Another dead giveaway that your ex still loves you is when you receive photographs of you two together, captioned with something like, "Remember when we..." Here's why this behavior is a sign that he or she is still stuck in the past:
- He or she still misses you and keeps flipping through pictures of the both of you
- Sending old photographs with mushy captions is your ex's attempt to make you have second thoughts about your breakup
It's best not to engage or respond to these kinds of texts—it just makes the breakup process more painful.
10. They Lie to You About Having a New Boyfriend or Girlfriend
When your ex's claims about having a new girlfriend or boyfriend are repudiated by common friends, you can be certain that he or she is still not over you. By lying to you, your ex wants to show how easy it was to move on from you when, in reality, he or she is still in love with you.
An easy way to spot this lie is to ask your ex a few of these simple questions:
- When did you guys meet?
- Do you love him/her?
- Where did you go out on your first date?
- What do you like about him/her?
They will fumble while answering these questions if the story about having a new girlfriend or boyfriend is a complete lie.
You don't need to press the point, just know that this is no more than a sign that they're still not over you.
11. They Get Touchy-Feely When You Hang Out Together
If you are still friends with your ex, the chances are that you may have mutual friends, and you hang out together. A situation like this can easily lead to animated conversations and friendly banter.
Friendly conversations are one thing, but if you notice that your ex gets touchy-feely with you, it is a clear sign that he or she is still attracted to you on a deeper level. Classic body language signs of such behavior are attempts to hold your hands, placing their hands on your shoulder, and leaning on you at the pretext of losing balance while laughing.
Be careful with physical contact with your ex since it can lead to some confusing encounters. You can tell your ex gently that you don't feel comfortable being close physically with them, or you could avoid engaging with them in conversation at all.
If you still have feelings for them, you should still be careful since having a physical relationship without working through any issues can sometimes cause more confusion than resolution.
12. They Seem Way Too Eager to Console You When You're Sad
Your ex is abnormally eager attempt to be the person who consoles you when you are feeling sad is a sign that he or she still wants to be your go-to person when you are down.
Don't encourage such behavior because your ex may misinterpret your friendliness as a mutual reciprocation of his or her attempts to get closer to you.
13. You Receive at Least One Text Message Every Few Days
One of the first things that everyone does when they miss someone is to send them texts. These text messages can be anything from a simple "hi" to a mushy "I miss you."
Missing you and thinking about you may be why your ex keeps texting you. Unless you two work together or are in the same study group, he or she shouldn't really be texting you every now and then.
Remember this and think before you reply to any of their frequent texts. By replying, you may be giving signals that you actually like being in touch. This will give your ex false hope that there is still a chance to get back with you.
If you want to re-open conversation with them, be careful of how you do it.
14. They Call You and Start Talking About Sweet Memories of Your Relationship
Hang up the phone the very second your ex calls you and starts talking about the sweet memories of your relationship because this is when he or she is desperately trying to get you back. Either that or your ex is lovesick and is still stuck in the bitter-sweet memories of your relationship.
Reminding you of the better times in your relationship is their attempt at showing you all the happy moments you shared. They may be hoping that talking about this will bring about a change in your heart and make you want to rekindle your romance with them.
15. You Notice That They Constantly Share Love Quotes on Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest
Is your ex on a rampage of sharing quotes about heartbreak and love all over his social media profiles? This could be because your ex wants to show you that he or she is suffering from a broken heart, hoping that you will decide to heal it by taking him or her back into your arms.
Don't feel like you need to respond to their posts, even if they seem directed at you.
16. They Call You When They're Drunk
It is safe to assume that your ex still has feelings for you if he or she calls you when drunk. It is a classic sign because drinking will take away all your ex's inhibitions and make him or her say the truth to you.
If this happens and they want to talk about your relationship, you can always say that they should call you when they're sober and that you don't want to talk while they're drunk. Alternatively, you could say that there's nothing to talk about and ask them to please not contact you.
17. They Refuse to Move On
If they refuse to move on, see other people, or get back into their old life, they're likely hoping that your breakup is just a temporary situation. You can't do anything to make them move on, but you can help them by remaining firm and not sending them any signals that they could interpret as interest.
18. They're Curious About Your Love Life
If they're asking about your love life, that's a pretty good indicator that they want to know if you've moved on and are seeing anyone yet. If you have or you haven't, it's not really any of their business at this point. Don't be afraid to cut off these kinds of conversations with them.
19. They Have Extreme Emotions Towards You (Hate, Anger, Sadness)
The more extreme the emotion, the more likely there are deep feelings hidden underneath. If they seem to hate you or be very angry with you, or are very sad, they're probably still in love with you.
Though it may hurt you to see someone that you cared about in pain, remember that there was a reason (possibly multiple reasons) that you broke up. Let them work through these emotions on their own and try not to get involved.
20. They Resist Giving Your Stuff Back
If they try to hold onto your stuff, that could be a sign that they don't want to cut ties with you yet and hope that down the road you'll be more open to getting back together.
Be polite but firm that you need your stuff back. If it's not stuff that you really need, consider just letting it go as a casualty of the relationship.
21. They Tell You That They Miss You or That They Love You
Of course, this is the most obvious hint that they are still in love with you. Even though it can be hard to outright say no to someone who still has feelings for you, especially if you used to be in a relationship, you need to remain strong.
Either ignore the texts, emails, phone calls, or messages, or be gentle but firm in person and tell them that you've moved on and there is no chance of getting back together. Unless, of course, that's what you want, in which case this could be the right time to have a conversation about what went wrong in your relationship and how you can make it better the next time around.
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
© 2013 princesswithapen
Laura on February 29, 2020:
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Thando on February 28, 2020:
Hi Julie! Am speaking from experience, my boy friend dumped after 3years together (1997-1999),after taking care of him, boosting his career and all that. Fast forward 2020 after 20yesrs he is miserable in his marriage & wants me. Back.. (((though I still love him but I had not yet decided about being together again)))
Coming to ur relation ship.. If he is meant to be yours he will return to you even if it's after 100years just continue with ur life, date other people and enjoy it...
julie on August 19, 2019:
I was with a man for three yrs after my husband died. I supported his career, made my home his home, took good care of him. He left me and married a woman a month later. I am embarrassed that I am so weak. The things he is telling her he also said to me. He makes monthly payments to me for money borrowed to purchase a truck. I cant get him out of my head.
Alick on May 02, 2019:
This morning me lovely
joy on August 27, 2018:
no one loves you more than I do to get my ex post comments
David NU on April 03, 2018:
Amazing post! Very helpful article. Thanks for posting. Also, visit https://nexter.org/exes-group-chat-serena check out what happened when a student from Leeds Added Her Exes in a Group Chat.
carl on August 26, 2017:
what when they completely ignore you and refuse to talk point blank ?????