Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. Let his trial and error be your success (hopefully).
How Do You Know if Your Ex Is Over You?
You know it. Deep inside your heart, you know that you broke up for a reason. Still, you can't find it in yourself to let go of what you once had.
This is totally understandable, and is a common human emotion, whether you're the one who broke it off with your partner or you're the one who was rejected. It's normal to get attached to the life that you had with your ex.
It is true that there is sometimes a chance that you might get back together. If this is the case, the opportunity will present itself soon enough. In the meantime, though, if you want to put your mind at ease and tell yourself that it's safe to let go, take a look at these telltale signs your ex is over you and doesn't want to get back together:
1. Your Ex Avoids You in Public
Probably one of the biggest, glaring signs that your ex doesn't want to get back together is if he's avoiding you. It's possible that he could be avoiding you simply because he still loves you, and it's painful to see you, but this probably isn't true.
Most of the time, if your ex doesn't go to social gatherings or change up his daily routines to avoid bumping into you, it's because he wants to make a clean break.
2. Your Ex Won’t Answer Your Texts or Calls
Though it's smart for people to have no contact right after a breakup--especially if there are still feelings--most people can't resist the temptation if they're still in love. In modern times where talking to someone is as easy as sending a drunken text at 3 AM, your ex has ample opportunity to talk to you again if he wants to re-declare his love.
If your ex has ignored your texts and avoided sending any of his own, there's a good chance he's either over you or on his way to getting over you. Few of us have the discipline to ignore messages from someone we love just because "it's for the best." More likely, he just doesn't want to talk to you. It's over.
3. He’s Planning on Moving Soon
Another giant neon sign that screams, "He's over you!" is any plans that he has to move away from your city. If he's planning to move from the country, that's even more telling. The guy is ready to go on with his life.
Your brain might still be desperately trying to rationalize it. A lot of us do this when we're trying to make sense of a breakup. Part of you might think, "He's threatening to leave the country so that I'll appreciate him more and ask him to stay! He just wants to get back together!"
Sorry, but the chances are low that he's bluffing. If he's moving, he has let go of the relationship. You would do well to do the same; save yourself some anguish.
4. He’s Genuinely Happy for You When You Mention New Partners
Some people try to make their exes jealous by moving on quickly to other people--or at least pretending to. If you still have contact with your ex, try casually mentioning any dates you have had lately. If the conversation goes like this...
"Yeah, so I've been seeing this great guy lately. His name is Christian. He works out, and he's a mega-billionaire. He also has a nice assortment of leather whips. I think I found The One."
"Wow, I'm so happy for you! You see, what did I tell you? The right guy was out there for you; you just had to find him."
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...then he's over you.
Yes, there's a chance that he's just trying to appear strong, but if you were with him for any length of time, you should be able to tell if he's faking it. It might be ambiguous over text, but it should be pretty clear if you're looking at his facial expression in person.
Does he appear happy for you? Does he seem almost excited that you've found someone else because you're no longer hung up over him?
That's a definite sign that he's over you. Hardly anyone is selfless enough to be excited about the one they love getting with someone else.
5. He’s Dating Someone Else
Similarly, if your ex has moved onto someone else, then he's probably over you. It could also be that he still has feelings for you and is trying to quell them with someone new, but this on its own is a sign that he's ready to try at least to move on.
At any rate, if your ex has a new partner, don't be a douche and try to break them up. If he wants you back, he will come back to you on his own.
6. He’s Made a Major Life Decision That Doesn’t Include You
Has he joined the monkhood? Did he decide to enlist in the military? Did he become a Scientologist?
Any of these random decisions that could affect the rest of his life and push him further away from you are a sign that he doesn't plan on getting back together. It may be hard to watch him change in ways that you know will make you less compatible, but this might just be his path in life. It could be that he was holding back while you were together, and finally, he is free to be himself and grow as a person the way he was meant to.
Try to be happy for him.
7. He Seems Genuinely Happier Without You
If he seems happier and more excited about his life now that you're not in it, this is a sign that your ex is over you. The chances are nil that he'll want to get back together if his world is honestly brighter on the other side of the relationship.
Don't let this bring you down. It doesn't mean that you're a bad person or that you won't make someone else happy. It simply means that the relationship wasn't compatible and that you probably both will be happier letting it go.
Try to think back to the things that you felt you couldn't do while in the relationship. Many of those things might be avenues in life that you need to explore to grow personally. It might be a good thing that you're no longer together. Just like your ex, you might be able to find a greater happiness if you can only look past the temporary pain of a lost relationship.
Best of all, you'll be open to finding someone new who actually wants to be with you.
Your Ex Has Moved On
If your ex has exhibited most or all of these signs, it's extremely likely that he has moved on with his life. While this is a painful thing to face sometimes, the sooner that you face it, the better.
When you learn to let go, it will be like a huge weight has fallen from your shoulders. You'll see the world differently and allow yourself the possibility of finding love again. Until then, you'll be mentally tied to someone who is over you and really doesn't want to be with you.
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
© 2017 Jorge Vamos