Should I give my ex-boyfriend a second chance? My ex says that he has changed, should I take him back? You still love him, you miss him and the fact that you can't get over him - these are some of the obvious yet totally useless reasons that most relationship websites mention as signs that you should get back together.
This post discusses specific situations which will help you take a mature decision when your ex asks you out again.
1) Your heart tells you to give him a second chance and you can't think of a reason not to
Some of the best decisions of life are a result of gut instincts. If your heart and gut are telling you to give your ex-boyfriend a second chance and you can't think of a valid reason not to, maybe you should.
Sometimes you have to do what your heart tells you to. Whether he turns out to be the keeper who you eventually go on to marry or the jerk who you dump for a second time, only time will tell.
2) He waited for you even though you dumped him unfairly
A guy who waits for his ex to change her mind despite being ruthlessly and unfairly dumped is a guy that should be held on to tightly. If your situation is similar, give yourself a tap and ask yourself why you let him go in the first place.
You should give your relationship a second chance if he comes back to you even after you humiliated his love by dumping him unfairly. Guys like him don't come around too often.
3) Apart from the deal-breaker, he is a nice guy
From a guy's habit of being selfish to his extreme possessiveness, relationships usually break apart when a small problem snowballs into becoming a deal-breaker that can no longer be tolerated.
For example, a guy feels jealous when his girlfriend hangs out with other guys. Slowly as time goes by, his jealousy causes endless fights every day. Regardless of how nice he is otherwise, sooner or later he will get dumped if he doesn't control his crazy feelings.
Did you break up with your boyfriend over something similar? If your deal-breaker wasn't something so life changing as a cheating episode or abuse, give your ex another chance if everything else seems right.
4) All your friends believe that you both should get back together
The fact that all your friends are telling you to give your relationship another chance means a lot. Your friends see your relationship in a way that you don't. You may have been frustrated by the never-ending fights and arguments but there might still be a spark between you both that you just can't see.
Ask your friends why they think you should take the step. Heart to heart chats with your besties should open your mind to a new horizon. Maybe their advice can make you realize how special your relationship really was.
5) He is willing to fix the deal-breaker
A second chance may be the right way to go if your ex is willing to fix something that was a deal-breaker when you broke up the first time. For example, suppose you broke up over his habit of always being unavailable when you called. If he promises to get his act together and answer his phone every time you call, you could reconsider your stance.
Think about your decision again and again before you take him back in your life. Look into his eyes and try to judge how committed he really is about fixing his annoying habits.
6) You had broken up because you went separate ways
Did you and your boyfriend break up because you were going separate ways? This is a classic situation which unfolds when couples decide against a long distance relationship when they go separate ways.
You may have realized that your love for each other has grown despite living away from each other. If this is the case and he wants to rekindle the love, it may be really worth it.
7) Yours was a mutual and friendly breakup
Friendly breakups are rare. It is not often that both the guy and the girl mutually agree to disagree and walk separate ways without the usually animosity and heartbreak. You will have a complicated situation on hand if yours was such a friendly breakup and your ex decides to walk into your life one fine day.
It will be a tough decision but the best thing to work in your favor will be the fact that you did not have any major issues that led to a bitter separation. In a worst case scenario, walking away from the relationship should ideally be as easy the second time as it was the first time.
8) He is willing to commit now
Guys who refuse to talk about commitment often end up losing the love of their lives when their girlfriends can't take it anymore. For any woman, it is a heartbreaking decision to walk away from a relationship simply because the guy is refusing to propose or to accept commitment as a reality.
If your ex-boyfriend, the same guy who was once commitment shy, is now pleading you to take him back - it may not be as bad as you think. The trick to making a right decision lies in asking him the right questions which help you decide whether you should give him a second chance or not. Quiz him on some of these things:
- So what made you change your mind?
- How are you going to commit?
- What do you see for us in the future?
9) You broke up over trivial issues
Break ups are often caused by silly fights which are blown out of proportion. If your break up was caused by something too small to make a major difference between you and your ex, a patch up may be the way to go.
Think about how your break up happened. Did it happen in the heat of the moment when he made a mistake which can easily be fixed or overlooked? Give him a second chance if you think that you dumped him because of a reason which was never a big deal in the first place.
10) You really regret dumping him
As strange as it sounds, there can be many reasons why you regret dumping your boyfriend. You may have been in a different frame of mind when you took the decision. Or, the priorities in your life may have been skewed when you decided to let go of someone who was always a gentleman.
There is really no complication if this sounds like your situation and you regret breaking up with him for all the wrong reasons. It is a no-brainer and if he asks you out again, consider yourself lucky.
11) You love him and you want to be his girlfriend no matter what
Love is the most powerful human emotion of all and rightly so. The pain of heartbreak stops people from moving on, from dating again, from having fun and from doing all those things that other people do.
Giving your relationship a second chance could be the thing to do if you have been in the dumps ever since you broke up with your boyfriend. Think about this only if:
- You miss him every single day
- You have been unable to get over your breakup
- You cry every day thinking about your heartbreak
- It has been many months since your breakup but you still don't feel comfortable seeing other people
- You can't move on no matter what you do
12) You both have changed for the better
Don't agree to give your ex-boyfriend a second chance just because he claims to have changed. Even if he has, it is not going to be enough. For your relationship to bloom the second time around, both of you must have made peace with your differences. Things must also have changed to the extent that being more mature has brought out the better side of you both.
Think about what you both have learnt from your relationship. Talk about how you will not let the same mistakes happen again. If you feel like getting back together with him, have this mature conversation and see where it leads to.
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
FayToussaint1 on May 03, 2020:
2nd time around with my kids father, we been together for 9 years have 3 kids. When we first started dating i broke up with him to be with someone else, i thought that would be best for me at the time... i decided i was still in love with him we got back together... now after having three kids by him he wasn't the family man I thought he would be. He spent most of his time playing video games in the garage, i felt like a single mother... I told him things are not working out.. yes i said things that i shouldn't have said but never cheated ofln him... now his gone i realized that i still love him very much and want my family back.
Now he have a new girl in the picture i think that makes it harder to work things out.. he still love me but he doesn't want me to hurt him again
Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on January 15, 2014:
"Willing to commit now." That should do it.