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Embarrassed Yourself After a Break-Up?

Updated on January 9, 2017

Need Some Damage Control?

So you were doing fine, handling the recent break-up with your ex. with maturity, dignity, and poise... then BAM!... a 37 minute drunk voice message left at 4 in the morning.

Breaking one of the rules for a self-respecting, clean break-up is not the best thing you could have done – but it's not the end of the world.

Time to regain your dignity with a little damage control:

  • If, like the scenario above, you have called and left messages in a state of drunkenness or desperation, well that is embarrassing. But embarrassment doesn’t kill you and we’ve all done stupid things when we feel hurt. Depending on your situation, you can send a brief text message (keep it short) the next day apologizing for the message and that it won’t happen again. Make sure it doesn’t! Then no more communication. Don’t expect a reply. Don’t communicate again. You’ve apologized. Move on.
  • If you have responded to communication and now find yourself in an argument and feel emotional and frustrated; you now know why the rule of no communication applies - It prolongs the break-up and achieves nothing but more upset. Stop. Ignore ALL future attempts of communication. You don’t need to have the last word. Words are just words. Your silence will be read loud and clear: It's over and you are moving on.
  • If you have initiated contact and you now regret it or feel embarrassed… simply stop. You don’t need to justify yourself. Just don’t do it again. If you are now in a heated discussion, say you made a mistake by communicating and you don’t want to do this anymore. Then stop.

These may not be the answers you were looking for, but stopping communication is the fastest and probably only way to regain any dignity. Trying to talk your way out of it will only make it worse. You are not trying to get back together, you are trying to move on. (Even if you are trying to get back together with him, the same applies! Let him see that your moment of madness was just that; a moment. Don't drag it on.)

Nothing you have done can be as bad as the woman in the video below! (We hope!) Have a listen, it's hilarious.

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      Amy 3 months ago

      Hi had been dating a man for almost nine months now. One time i caught him texting with his ex. Nothing sexual but i felt betrayed and asked to break up. He begged me to give him a last chance, he cried so much. I forgave him but the betrayal was hard on me so i we fought pretty much all the time and i reminded him of that incident. We stayed together, but for the past three months we were arguing even more. My boyfriend asked for space. He said do not call me unless i do, do not text unless i do and do not come to my house. He texted everyday to ask how i was and i tried to respect all this for a while but i felt emotionally drained as he kept his responses very cold. I decided to try the no contact rule but i failed terribly. I drunk called him, we got into a fight and we exchanged insults, but i was really bad on him. I even showed up to his house and exchanged more bad words. After the fight i really apologized and tried to show him what a good girl i have been, he agreed and says he knows i am a good person and he also recognises i put alot of effort in the relationship but he said he can not be with me because i disrespected him. he said had enough and decided to break up with me. Like any other stupid girl, i went pretty hysterical and begged him to give a chance one more month. He said okay he will give us a chance. While we were talking i also asked him if i should take my stuff from his house he said no. I left the house and since then we have not talked. On Sunday was his birthday i sent him a very short birthday note and he responded thanks. After that i went into the no contact rule because i needed heeling my self and hope that he might want me back. My sister called him (totally unrelated issue) and he picked up and spoke well. But it feels like he has moved on. He is now on a business trip do i have any chances to get him back?!