Skip to main content

It's Over but I Miss Him: Should I Call Him or Not?

  • Author:
  • Updated date:

I'm happy to share my advice on relationships, especially how to deal with breakups.

Will he just think you're desperate?

Will he just think you're desperate?

Should I Call My Ex or Wait for Him to Call Me?

It's always hard to make the decision whether to call your ex or not, especially right after a breakup. But what's the hesitation? Why not just call?

You want to call him, but you don't want to seem desperate, and since you don't want to seem desperate, you don't call at all. Is that really the way to win him back? Well, yes and no. Yes, because you'll appear to be doing your own thing. And no, because he'll never know that you want him back. I believe it's better to just go ahead and call your ex.

The truth is that you miss your ex—and, more than likely, he misses you, too. Remember that people don't just "get over" their exes that quickly. There are too many feelings and emotions involved.

Since you've shared some wonderful, beautiful moments together, that's even more of a reason to call. He's not someone you're just getting to know. He's someone you have a past with.

Calling him could be the right decision for you, but you need to make sure of a couple of things first.

What You Should Do Before You Call Your Ex

Before you call, make sure you're not feeling sad or depressed at the moment, even if you're still deeply hurting. You must sound naturally you, not necessarily happy, but not terribly sad, either. This is the best way to avoid sounding desperate on the phone.

Make sure you are genuine and sincere. It's easy to see through someone who's putting on a front, so don't be overly enthusiastic. You'll come off as fake and end up appearing totally desperate.

Scroll to Continue

Read More From Pairedlife

What Happens If He Doesn't Pick Up?

What happens if you call him and you get his voicemail? Don't just hang up without leaving a message. Leave one, but be selective with your words.

Before calling him, prepare a message to leave in case you do get his voicemail. That way, you won't be fumbling for things to say. Knowing what you're going to say will put you more at ease and make you seem more calm. Whatever you do, don't read the message like you're reading off a script. Really say it. It might help to practice in the mirror a little bit.

Should I Call If He Broke Up With Me?

If he broke up with you, and you really miss him and want to get back together, you have every reason to wonder if you should call him or wait for him to call you.

I don't think you should wait. Waiting is so mind-consuming and agonizing. Give him a call. The trick is not sounding like a wounded puppy on the phone when you do get the courage to call. Don't plead with him or beg him for anything. Use your time on the phone as a way to catch up.

Should I Call If I Broke Up With Him?

If you broke up with him and miss him now, he's probably feeling very hurt. You might be thinking it's too late to try to work things out or that he won't want to talk to you.

The reality is that he's probably thinking the same things. But when men are feeling very hurt, they have a tendency to shut down, so he may or may not call. If you are really missing him and genuinely want to talk again, go ahead and call him. Just be sure to approach him gently, remembering that he's in a sensitive place.

So . . . Should I Call Him or Wait for Him to Call Me?

You should definitely call. If you can call without breaking down over the phone or sounding desperate, go for it. Whatever you do, don't call crying, don't call his family members, don't play games, don't beg, and most importantly, don't lose your sense of self.

Relationships can take on a life of their own and require so much of you, but they are totally worth it. In the end, you get to share your love with someone else, and it's always better to give than to receive.

I wish you the best of luck with your relationships.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

Related Articles