How to Stop Feeling Guilty About Breaking up With Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend
Can't stop feeling guilty about breaking up with your boyfriend? Is breakup guilt eating you up after dumping your girlfriend? Are all your friends blaming you for breaking up with your guy? Are you assuming all the fault and responsibility of the end of your relationship?
Stop feeling depressed and stop feeling guilty about the decision you made to break up with your ex by removing the guilt from its roots. This article gives you a chance to introspect on your breakup and rise above the guilt.
The first thing you need to do is find out why you're feeling guilty. There are a few different reasons you might feel guilty after breaking up with someone:
- You feel bad about ending things because the other person didn't want to break up. Maybe he or she begged and pleaded with you not to leave, and now you're feeling guilty thinking about how upset they might be in the aftermath of the breakup.
- Maybe you're regretting your decision to leave and thinking about how you didn't try hard enough to make things work.
No matter the reason for your guilt, it's hard to move past that uncomfortable feeling. This article will give you tips and pointers to get over your guilt and move on from your previous relationship.
10 Ways to Stop Feeling Guilty About Breaking up
- Make a firm decision about your breakup and your feelings for your ex.
- Get rid of breakup guilt by acknowledging that you were honest and direct when you ended the relationship.
- Remind yourself of the reasons you broke up with him or her.
- Think about your ex's flaws and bad habits.
- Think of the breakup as a favor to your ex.
- Be practical—the relationship just wasn't meant to be.
- Stop feeling guilty by realizing that your ex will move on.
- Be kind to yourself—relationships are a two-way street.
- Think of all the sacrifices you made before deciding to end the relationship.
- Think of your breakup guilt as a natural human reaction—because it is.
1. Make a firm decision about your breakup and your feelings for your ex.
It is very easy to be lost in breakup guilt if you remain unsure about your feelings for your ex. Be firm about your decision to break up, otherwise you will be sucked into the emotional turmoil of being in two minds.
You will continue feeling guilty about dumping someone if you stop believing in yourself. To put this simply, you must trust yourself. Say to yourself that whatever decision you have made is in the best interest of everyone involved.
2. Get rid of breakup guilt by acknowledging that you were honest and direct when you ended the relationship.
Feel good about the tough stand you have taken in your relationship because it is definitely not easy to tell someone that you don't love them anymore. Everyone sympathizes with someone who has just been dumped, but the person who has initiated the breakup deserves a lot of credit for being honest and direct.
It is not easy to break someone's heart, even if it seems like the right thing to do. Pat yourself on the back for being brave and mustering the courage to be honest about how you felt.
3. Remind yourself of the reasons you broke up with him or her.
A breakup can be caused by the smallest of issues between partners that escalates into a big, life-changing problem. Think of the reasons that compelled you to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Did you break up because neither of you were unable to stop being jealous over each others' exes? Were you forced to break up because neither of you could see a long-term future for your relationship? Was your breakup the result of a lack of intimacy? Remind yourself of the core reasons that led to the split if you want to stop blaming yourself for your breakup.
4. Think about your ex's flaws and bad habits.
Why did you dump your girlfriend or boyfriend? Was it because she was flirting with others, or was it because he couldn't stop looking at other women? Was it because she was too clingy, or was it because he was being abusive towards you?
Re-think all your ex's flaws and bad habits so that you don't put yourself at fault for taking the relationship to a breaking point.
5. Think of the breakup as a favor to your ex.
You could have run away from the responsibility of breaking up fair and square by seeing someone else behind your partner's back. You could have kept lying to your boyfriend or girlfriend about your feelings. You could have manipulated your partner by still being in the relationship just for materialistic benefits. You could have shown fake feelings of attachment just so that you could continue physical intimacy with your ex. But you did not do any of this and you decided to tell it like it is.
However nasty it may have seemed, you did the right thing by breaking up with your partner if you had lost all faith in the relationship. You may seem like the bad person temporarily, but deep down inside, you should remind yourself that you did your ex a favor by bringing a quick end to your relationship. Your breakup could have felt similar to that of a painful and agonizing death if you had prolonged and procrastinated the inevitable.
6. Think of the breakup as a favor to your ex.
You may have jumped into a relationship just because you were too smitten about falling in love with your crush. But time may have revealed that his or her company was the total opposite of what you were expecting.
Stop feeling guilty about breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend by looking at your relationship as one that just wasn't meant to be. You can try your best to alter the path of bad relationship, but all your efforts will be futile if the relationship has no future at all.
7. Stop feeling guilty by realizing that your ex will move on.
Has your ex-boyfriend moved on by hooking up with a pretty girl? Has your ex-girlfriend moved on by going to parties with different guys while you are sulking in your room, unable to stop missing her?
Instead of getting more depressed, use this as motivation to stop feeling guilty about breaking up. Look at how your ex has moved on and see it as a sign that he or she is now happier than before.
8. Be kind to yourself—relationships are a two-way street.
Stop judging yourself and stop assuming that you were at fault for all the problems in your relationship that eventually resulted in a breakup. Every relationship is a two-way street, and both partners are expected to do things that make a relationship work.
You were not the only one who was expected to make sacrifices to appease your partner. You have your own likes, dislikes, preferences, and needs that your ex was supposed to fulfill. Obviously something went wrong in your relationship—something that couldn't be fixed. It was your ex's responsibility to do whatever it took to fix the problems as much as it was yours, so stop blaming yourself.
9. Think of all the sacrifices you made before deciding to end the relationship.
You will overcome breakup guilt instantly if you start thinking of all the unrequited sacrifices you made in your relationship. For example, you may have stopped talking to a girl on the phone simply because your girlfriend got jealous of your long conversations with her. Or you may have fought with your parents just so that you could hang out and meet your boyfriend at odd times.
Think of all the sacrifices you made that went unnoticed and were not appreciated by your ex. Use this to convince yourself that you made the right decision. After all, if your ex was too blind to see the sacrifices you made just to keep him or her happy, obviously you deserve much better.
10. Think of your breakup guilt as a natural human reaction—because it is.
Feeling guilty about hurting someone's feelings or breaking someone's heart is a natural human reaction. This sense of guilt may be unavoidable even if you are completely right in doing so. Don't get frustrated and don't put yourself down by succumbing to the guilt.
Understand and acknowledge your feeling of guilt as a natural human reaction. Rise above this murky feeling by being aware that this guilt is impossible to dodge and you must actively move on by looking at the brighter side of whatever happened in the past.
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.