Teppie and Christina are Personal Development writers, bloggers and online coaches.
Have you been thrown out like a piece of garbage by a person you loved? Has the rejection and cruel treatment you’ve received from your ex destroyed your life, sense of self-esteem and self-worth? Do you sometimes feel that life is not worth living anymore?
It's Normal to Feel Rotten After Being Dumped
You shouldn’t think that you’re the only one feeling terrible after getting dumped. It’s so common for people to feel bad and experience so much pain and despair. It’s a major event in people’s lives.
Getting dumped has the potential to be such a destructive, sorrowful event in someone’s life. In extreme cases, getting dumped can be so catastrophic that for some people it may drive them to self-harm or to suicide.
Some People Use Their Pain to Make a Comeback
In this world, there have been many abandoned and dumped people in relationships. Some allowed the rejection to destroy their self-esteem, self-worth and their lives, but others managed to allow the pain to transform and advance their lives. These individuals were not superheroes; they were normal people just like you and me.
For you to make a comeback after getting dumped doesn’t mean you have to ignore your loss or have no feelings of pain. Even the people who made a comeback still had to endure all the suffering and went through all the pain and loss of getting dumped. They literally endured all the slaps but, finally, they slapped back twice as hard and became victorious!
Your Pain Is an Invitation for You to Discover Your Potential
You may be surprised to discover that the pain and loss you have suffered as a result of getting dumped can be the psyche’s way of pushing you to explore and actualise an unrealized potential in your life. Getting dumped can be transformed into an opportunity to revolutionise yourself.
Your untapped potential may be in connection with your intellectual development, mental development or even getting in touch with God. Getting in touch with God in your black moments in life can provide a powerful way for achieving inner security, strength, a transformed identity and peace of mind. The question is how will you respond to this invitation?
How Does Someone Make a Comeback After Getting Dumped?
If you are determined to turn your pain around and make a comeback after getting dumped, then there are several points you need to know and act upon. Below are the keys that you should devote to following to assist you in making a comeback:
Revolutionise Your Mind
Making a comeback after getting dumped begins in your mind. You have to cultivate yourself to become mentally stronger from where you fell. Hoping that your ex will come back will only reinforce a false belief that you will be together again and this will keep you hooked instead of getting on with your life. It’s important to your happiness that you realize you can never get your ex back and be like before they dumped you. Giving up hope will eventually make you feel better and is a necessary step to your comeback.
Transform Into a Stronger Person
Your aim after getting dumped should instead be to become the type of person that is self-reliant, in control of your own life and who values and believes in yourself. Learn to be your own best friend instead of waiting for a romantic partner to be it. Importantly, you have to be the type of person who, no matter what, never allows anyone to make you feel inferior.
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By working on strengthening your feelings of self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence you will be able to help yourself mentally make a comeback. One way to do this is to start to recognise and fix your mistaken beliefs about yourself and cultivate a healthier, stronger self-identity.
Face Your Fears and Deal With Your Issues
If you see yourself as inadequate because of what has happened to you, you’ll tend to carry around this destructive way of thinking in your other relationships until you deal with it. So endeavor to deal with all your baggage, hidden fears and issues. Only by facing your fears in the face will you be able to realise and develop your own strength of character.
Ask yourself some powerful questions that will help you come to terms with what has happened. The answers to these questions will hold a link and mentally prepare you for your comeback.
- How do you think you got to this point of being dumped?
- Why did you let the person that dumped you make you feel so low and unworthy?
- What unfair treatment did you tolerate during the relationship by your partner? Do you think that by selling yourself short at times this contributed to you getting dumped?
- What do you have to do to become the type of person that will never let anyone hurt you again?
Transform Yourself Physically
It is common for many people to neglect to take care of their physical appearance during a relationship. When they got dumped by their partner not only did they find themselves in a mess emotionally but also physically worse off than they were before the relationship. Has the same happened to you? It’s time for you to make a physical comeback!
Whether you need to revolutionise your style or hair, lose weight or build muscle, take time and work hard on your body image to create the new improved you. You don’t want others and especially your ex to see you after some time looking physically worse off; you want them to rub their eyes in disbelief when they finally see you again- looking more gorgeous than ever! This revamp will make you feel so much better about yourself and your self-esteem. You’ll feel more desirable and confident to attract a new special person in your life and enjoy a new and a better relationship than your last one.
Develop Mystery, Interest, and Intrigue
Before you make your debut make sure that you have given yourself enough time to work on your mental and physical comeback. Be 100 percent ready for your comeback and don’t be in a hurry to make your comeback appearance. Give yourself lots of time to grow, develop and heal.
Giving yourself time is good as it also generates mystery around you and your life. Your ex will wonder very much about you- even if they did originally dump you, they will get a renewed sense of interest in you. By this time you probably won’t be caring about their approval like you used to!
Hopefully, by creating a lot of space between you and your ex, you will build up for yourself a new better reputation than the one you had before with them. Remember-your sweetest revenge to your ex is to live well and want nothing back from them.
It’s Finally Time to Make Your Debut
It’s natural to want to make a reconnection with your ex to show them the new you that you’re proud of. Remember to only reconnect with your ex when you’re feeling good about yourself, when your life is in control and when you no longer have anxiety and hate when you think about your ex.
You must be detached and unhooked to your ex when you make your debut—otherwise, they will still have the power to hurt and affect you. The reconnection is your show and you are the one who has to run it. For you, the reconnection can be your chance to regain a lot of lost self-respect. So expect and demand it.
Show your ex that this new you have been inside you of all along, just waiting to come out and finally show the world. Ironically, you may find that your ex will wonder why they ever doubted and dumped you in the first place.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.