How to Forget People You Loved and Move on With Life
How to forget someone you loved? Learning how to move on and forget people is easier than following tips in women's magazines and blogs by self styled relationship experts. Letting go of memories and filling the emotional absence of a loved one from your life is encapsulated by the idea of embracing change and a new beginning. Whether it is an ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend, ex-bff, former colleague or a cheating partner, these tips will help in cleansing your mind of their memories.
1) Stop talking to the person you want to forget
If you want to forget someone, the first crucial step is to stop communicating with him or her. Don't expect to get them out of your head if you are communicating with them, even in a seemingly insignificant way.
Whether it is a text message, random phone call to say hi, a post on his or her Facebook timeline or a tagged tweet, the slightest of idea of being in touch with that person will bring back memories and remind you of their presence in your life.
2) Look at how other people have moved on
Whenever you are feeling lonely and alone because you are missing a certain someone, think about how they have moved on. For example, think about how easily your ex-girlfriend moved on to find someone else or how your ex-bff now hangs out with a new set of friends at the mall.
Forgetting someone you loved or someone who was very close to your heart is by no means an easy thing to do. But you must remember that if that person has moved on himself/herself, you are punishing yourself for no reason by feeling glum, sad and heartbroken.
3) Remove these people from all your online social networks
It may become impossible for you to forget your ex if you keep finding her updates in your Facebook feed or see his tweet in your Twitter feed every time you log in.
To erase someone's memory from your life, you will have to detach yourself from anything that can potentially remind you of him or her. Deleting them from your friend list, follower list and blocking them on all possible online social networks is a must.
4) Keep yourself busy with a work or studies
Taking the memory of someone out of your mind and life is as easy is occupying yourself in a hectic work or study routine. Create a situation where you have to rush to work early in the morning and return home at or around bedtime.
Pick up an extra job or pick up extra classes in college. The key is to keep yourself busy from morning to night. You should be left drained by the time you reach home and the only thing on your mind should be a good night's sleep.
5) Throw away all your personal belongings that remind you of the person you want to forget
Coffee mugs, photo albums, t-shirts, diaries, posters, books or music – discard everything that is a reminder of the person you are desperately trying to forget. The more you hang on to such knick knacks, the more difficult it will be for you to get rid of memories of that person.
This is an essential step if you are trying to forget someone who spent a lot of time with you on a personal basis. The process of throwing away personal belongings that remind you of him or her is symbolic of forever discarding the remnants of your relationship.
6) Throw away all the gifts given to you by that person
Gifts can be strong barriers that stop you from forgetting the people who have given them to you. For example, if you are trying to forget your ex-girlfriend, it may be impossible to do so until you keep wearing the sunglasses that she gave you.
There is a reason why people give gifts and it is because gifts are a constant reminder of the person who has given them. The only practical choice you have is to throw them away.
7) Get a new job if it fits well with your career plan
One of the most impractical pieces of advice given in sugar coated advice columns when it comes to forgetting a loved one is to meet new people. But how exactly do you meet new people?
From a practical perspective, new people just don't magically come into your life. You have to go out and do stuff that puts you in the company of new people. An easy way to do this is to find a new job. If you have been in your current job long enough and are ready to make the next big leap in your career, now may be the right time.
Think about it and if the move enhances your career plan and long term goal, go for it. You will be introduced to new people and get a revitalizing turn in your life.
8) Move houses for a fresh start in life
Move houses if you are in a stage of life where you can emotionally, physically and financially afford to move. Living in the same house will constantly remind you of the times you spent together with the person you are trying to forget in the first place.
A new house will mean a fresh start to life. You will have new surroundings to familiarize with, you new neighbors to meet, new malls to visit, new supermarkets to shop at and most importantly, an environment that does not have a single trace of the people you want to remove from your life.
9) Don't revisit the places that you frequented with him or her
Stop getting nasty reminders of people's absence in your life by not visiting the places you frequented with them. For example, if you go to a restaurant you visited often with your ex-boyfriend, your mind is bound to be swamped with his memories.
The mind strongly associates people with places. Going to a place like this again may ruin all your efforts of forgetting a certain someone and you may have start all over again. Make a list of these places and avoid visiting them, whether it is the burger joint you frequented with your ex-bff or the mall where you used to hang out with your ex-best friend.
10) Travel: Even a weekend away can make a difference
Traveling can be an effective way of forgetting someone without having to try too hard. Breathing the air of a different place, meeting new people and seeing new places may give you the jumpstart you need to refresh your mind.
Most people with a broken heart never end up travelling because they see it as a cumbersome thing to plan and budget for. The solution to the problem is to squeeze in even a day or two of short trips if you can't manage a mammoth 3 week holiday. Even a weekend away to an interstate tourist hot spot will feel rejuvenating.
Traveling will infuse a mix of feelings and long journeys on trains, planes and buses will give you a lot of time to introspect. The penultimate paradigm shift will possibly strike when you discover that life has much more to offer, many new places to see and heaps of new experiences await just for you.
11) Nurture other valuable relationships: From friendship to romance
One of the best ways to forget someone is to replace their position in your life with another loving relationship. It can be a new friendship with a girl at work or a flirty relationship with a guy from class.
However that doesn't mean hastily falling into a relationship with another girl or trusting a new found bff with your life. The key is to nurture all your existing and new found future relationships and give them time to bloom into something special. Fill the void slowly.
12) Share your heartbreak with a friend or a loved one
Every individual's psyche works in different ways and there are some people who just have to let things off their chests before they can move on. If you think you are one of them, rid all the bottled up emotions and feelings by sharing your heartbreak with a friend or a loved one who is a good listener.
Some people believe that only when the soul is purged, can the process of healing begin. If that works for you, find a friend or family member who you can confide in.
13) Don't force yourself to forget someone
If there were a few words of advice that would be almost impossible to master, these would be it. Forcing yourself to forget someone will potentially re-enforce their memory in your mind.
Don't make the process of erasing someone's memory the agenda of your life or a chore to be ticked off from your to-do list. Go about your life as normally as you can. You may feel sad and depressed but this period of your life, when you accept things and move on, is only going to make you strong from inside.
14) Avoid contact with common friends for some time
Do you and the person you are trying to forget have common friends who are better friends with him/her than with you? If the answer is yes, you may want to stay away from those people at least for a while.
15) Think of the negative impact of holding on
From becoming a couch potato to ignoring your own love life, the consequences of feeling depressed over someone's memories can have a devastating effect on anyone's life. You may want to be on the offensive if the journey to forget someone has made a dent in your life too.
Think about the negative impact and the hurt you are causing yourself every time you think of him or her. Think about how you are letting yourself down by succumbing to the sadness. Sooner or later you will realize that it is just not worth holding on to the memory of a person who left you or did not care for you.
16) Time heals all wounds: Be patient and don't expect overnight changes
Allow yourself plenty of time to forget someone. Trying to forget a girl you loved from deep down inside or removing all the memories of your fiancée from your mind is something that can take months, if not years.
Give your mind, heart and soul the time and space to dilute and remove all traces of the people you are trying to forget. Keep reminding yourself that time heals all wounds and there is no way out but to keep walking. Allow the healing balm of time to take effect.