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How to Cope With Rejection

Updated on August 10, 2017

At one time or another most of us have had to deal with some form of rejection. To be rejected is to be cast aside, thrown away as if having no value. There’s no way to sugarcoat it. Being rejected sucks. It may have been a job or promotion we didn't get, the college of our choice we didn't get into, or something we had been hoping to receive. If this has ever happened to you remember it has happened to many others as well. Rejection can be a painful thing. Why? Because we were created to be in relationships with others. Individuals as well as groups can be rejected.

Webster defines rejection as to refuse to accept, consider, submit to, take for some purpose, or use to refuse to hear, receive, or admit. It's a part of life. It can make us feel lonely, have low self-esteem, feel aggression, depression and anxiety. In some cases, some may resort to violence and even revenge.

It can make one feel they're not good enough or need to change who they are to please others. It's usually when the going gets tough we find out who our real friends are. Some may be rejected because of their race, an imperfection, or handicap. Children are usually not mature enough to realize ridiculing those with handicaps and others can be hurtful and damaging..

The Rejection of Jesus

Imagine what Jesus experienced growing up in Nazareth? As a child he probably heard murmurings concerning His immaculate conception? Jesus learned early on what rejection was. The religious leaders of Jesus' day came against Him often inciting others to reject Him. How did He handle it? He prayed and trusted in God's Word.

Knowing how to deal with rejection can help us cope and recover more quickly. When feeling hurt, disappointed, angry or perhaps a failure. Remember you are not alone. These feelings are normal. Criticism and rejection can be upsetting, leaving us with a bitter taste. We may feel miserable, angry, hurt, or even like striking back in violence. Criticism can be a form of bullying, or if given constructively, a gift. We must find new ways of looking at these situations and find strategies to deal with them.

Being Defensive Isn't Helpful

Being defensive isn't a constructive response. It only complicates things. We must try not to take attacks personally or react aggressively trying to prove others are wrong, finding fault with them.

Becoming emotional only hinders and limits our concentration. No one can learn new things without making a few mistakes because humans are prone to it. If we allow ourselves to get upset by criticism, our emotions get in the way of learning. We should set our attention on calming ourselves.

Are you coping with rejection? Everyone has at some point. It comes in many forms, and is not a respecter of persons. It shows no preference for the rich and famous or the poor, unfortunate and obscure.

Emotional Aspects

No one wants to be rejected, but it happens. It can come from being passed over for promotion, laid off, or fired. Rejections are a way of life for many such as writers and artists. And who hasn't been rejected for a date? For some this may be the most difficult of all. Whether the rejection is a major event or merely a small “no,” it can cause an emotional upheaval.

For example,when you tell someone you love them and they don't respond in kind, the result is feeling rejected and unloved. It's hard to face of rejection and not take it personally. The mental stress can make one want to hide.

Relational Aspects

Concentrating on personal flaws lowers one's self-esteem. Relationships begin by meeting people and getting to know them. It's important not to allow fear of rejection to keep anyone from taking the risk. Once a rapport has been established, one may decide the relationship isn't working, ending in rejection for the other.

The high stakes involved in long-term relationships makes rejection even more difficult. Years of emotional attachment can come to an abrupt halt, shattering hopes and dreams. At the time feelings may be overwhelming, Many may feel they might never get over the rejection or loneliness.

Coping with Rejection

Learning how to deal with rejection can keep us from sinking into a pit of despair. Expect to feel the full impact of emotions when rejection comes. We should give ourselves permission to feel sad, unloved, frustrated, and angry, at least for a short time. It's the body's natural way of lessening the hurt.

After the pain of rejection subsides, don't dwell on it. Look at it in a positive light. It's not your fault they decided the relationship wasn't working and moved on. Get over rejection by reflecting on the experience. Was it a good, healthy and wholesome relationship? Sometimes it's better to know right from the start then after a large amount of emotional investment.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 months ago

      " Being rejected sucks." - Very true!

      However it saves everyone time.

      There are over (7 Billion people) on this planet.

      Nobody gets everything or everyone that they want.

      When it's all said and done rejection just means: NEXT!