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How do you cheer up a friend after a breakup and support your best friend who was dumped by her boyfriend? How do you help your friend get over the heartbreak of being cheated on by his ex-girlfriend? Immature advice, rebound relationships and parties are not the answer. Rather, use your friendship to help your friend move on from a place where love has failed. Find out how you can listen to, motivate, sympathize with, protect and inspire your friend to leave the past behind.
1) Just sit and listen as your friend vents about the breakup
Patience will be your biggest asset as you try to cheer up your friend after a breakup. This is because your friend will want to vent out frustration, anger and heartbreak to you. Be patient and calmly hear your friend out every time he or she has a mood driven rant.
You are supposed to just listen to these rants. Don't be judgmental, don't try to give too much advice and most important of all, don't stop your friend in the middle and ask him or her to simply 'get over it'
2) Subtly point out relationship mistakes, but don't blame your friend for the breakup
Real friends point out each other's flaws and mistakes but this may not be the best time to rip apart your friend's error in judgment. If you must, subtly point out the mistakes that caused bumps in your friend's relationship.
Discuss these mistakes casually but don't say anything that puts blame on your friend for the breakup. Putting blame will shatter whatever sense of sanity your friend has left.
3) Make it very clear that you are on your friend's side
There can be no better way to support your friend after a breakup than to make it very clear that you are on his or her side. This is a must because it will give your friend a sense of reassurance and solid emotional support.
Breakups get really complicated when there are mutual friends involved. If this is the case with your friend's breakup, sitting on the fence while trying to be good friends with both the guy and the girl may not be the right strategy. Pick a side and stay true to your friendship.
4) Take your friend out for a coffee to a quaint cafe or a quiet dinner to a nice restaurant
Trashy magazines columns that talk about relationship problems are often seen giving out advice that friends should take their heartbroken buddies out for big night outs and wild parties. Don't believe this because the last thing your friend wants right now is chaos and commotion. Noise, wild night outs and senseless celebrations are not going to heal a broken heart.
Instead, take your friend out for a coffee to a quaint cafe. You can even pick a nice restaurant where you both can go out for dinner. Your friend's fragile heartbroken state may not make him or her feel like going out, but such quiet outings with just one close pal will feel very soothing – just like what a bowl of hot chicken soup does to a cold.
5) Sleepover at your friend's place and watch a movie on the laptop
Having long conversations on the phone is one way of supporting your friend after a breakup. But you should also hang out with your friend to give him or her a sense of comfort on a much deeper level.
Do this by sleeping over at your friend's place and watching a movie on the laptop. Traditional breakup advice suggests that you should watch your favorite movies, but this is exactly what you should not do. Pick a new movie because moving on after breakup is all about giving your friend something new to think about.
Why a sleepover? A sleepover in particular will allow your friend to soak in the comfortable vibes of friendship. Watching a movie on the laptop in particular will give your friend a sense of physical proximity to someone who really cares.
6) Don't try to set your friend up with someone else immediately after the breakup
Setting your friend up with someone immediately after a breakup is actually the worst thing you can do. A meaningless rebound relationship is not the right way to help your friend heal. So don't get carried away about going on double dates with your newly single friend.
Don't encourage such behavior either. Remind your friend that getting into a rebound relationship is not a good way to make an ex jealous after a breakup.
7) Stop your friend from feeling guilty about the breakup
Guilt about a breakup is a common feeling that most people go through. Some people manage to crawl their way out of this horrendous feeling while others succumb to it and get weaker.
Stop your friend from jumping into a pool of guilt by giving verbal reassurance about the whole situation. Here are some ideas.
- The outcome of any relationship is decided by two people. It's not your fault mate.
- You broke up with your boyfriend for a reason. After all, he was unwilling to change his deceiving ways.
- Just like how you can't clap with one hand, you are not the only one responsible for you breakup.
- If your ex can move on, there is no reason for you to feel guilty about your breakup
8) Keep your friend away from people who are negative influences
There are many types of people who can be negative influences on your friend's life. From the ones with bad habits to the ones with crazy ways, your friend can easily succumb to manipulative behavior at a time when there is a lack of direction in his or her life.
As a friend, think of it as your job to hold your best friend back from mingling with people who can be a bad influence. You risk sounding like a dotting mommy but that is a chance you must take for the sake of friendship.
9) Encourage your friend to join a gym
Joining a gym and helping your friend move on after breakup are two things that can actually complement each other on a deep passive level.
Working out at the gym will give your friend an hour of alone time to focus on something other than heartbreak. Workouts are awesome stress busters and every gym session will help your friend tire out for a good night's rest.
Here are some ideas you can use to convince your heartbroken friend to join a gym. Tell your friend
- You should join a gym so that you can tone up and impress the girls or the guys
- Going to the gym will help you meet new people
- Make your ex regret breaking up with you by transforming yourself and becoming sexier
10) Start making plans for a short holiday or a trip you can take together
You don't necessarily need to pack your bags and head off on a short trip with your friend immediately. But you should start planning for one. Just the talk about a fun trip will give your friend something to look forward to.
Traveling has many benefits, one of which is that it will help take your friend's mind away from the breakup and show that there is much more to life than being stuck in heartbreak.
11) Give your friend examples of how other guys and girls have moved on after a breakup
The pain of breakup can be really intense when there was true love in a relationship. The nasty feeling can make a person think that there is no future and life has no meaning. It is really difficult to support someone at such a moment because no matter what you say, their broken hearts will be unable to accept any advice that you give.
The easiest way to motivate your friend to spot the silver lining is to show real examples of how guys and girls have moved on after breakup. Remind your friend how time has healed the wounds of the most heartbroken guys and girls you both have known in your friend circle.
Thinking about how other people who have been in conditions way worse than themselves, will help your friend realize that a breakup is not the end of the world.
12) Sympathize and empathize, never make fun of your friend
Your friend could be throwing silly tantrums and showing a crazy range of mood swings after a breakup but this is not the time to make fun of him or her. Empathize and try to put yourself in your friend's shoes whenever you see an unnecessary tantrum or hear a stupid rant.
A post breakup scenario is not your average day when you can engage in healthy banter and silly jokes. Your friend will not react to being made fun of in the same way because of his or her fragile emotional state of mind.
Even the silliest of humor can hurt your friend at the deepest corner in his or her heart. Stop yourself from passing even the most seemingly harmless comments. The slightest feeling of being ridiculed at such a tender time can rob your friend of the last bit of self-respect left within.
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
Southgate on July 09, 2018:
I would love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos I never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me. The girl I want to get marry to left me few weeks to our wedding for another man. When I called her she never picked my calls, She blocked me on her facebook and changed her facebook status from engage to Single, when I went to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me. I lost my job as a result of this cos I couldn't get myself anymore, my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life. I tried all I could do to have her back to all did not work out until I met a Man when I travel to East to execute some business that I have been developing some years back. I told him my problem and all I have passed through in getting her back and how I lost my job, he told me he gonna help me, I didn't believe that in the first place. But he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets’ was amazed when I heard that from him...he said he will cast a spell for me and I will see the results in the next couple of days..then I travel back, the following day and i called him when I got home and he said he’s busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells, he said am gonna see positive results in the next 14 days that is Thursday. My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done. She said, she never knew what she was doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again. It was like am dreaming when I heard that from her and when we ended the call, I called the man and told him my girl friend called and he said I haven’t seen anything yet… he said I will also get my job back. And when its Sunday, they called me at my place of work that I should resume work on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit I have spent at home without working...My life is back into shape have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with a baby boy and I have my job back too. This man is really powerful...if we have up to 20 people like him in the world, the world would have been a better place...He has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now...Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help. You can mail him to erika_raven_temple@ religious. com, I can’t give out his number cos he told me he don’t want to be disturbed by many people across the world...he said his email is okay and he also have a web site if you want to visit him there’ he will replied to any emails asap..Hope he helped u out too...good luck. His web site is ericaraventemple. webs. com
Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on September 10, 2013:
They're all good points but number 11 is very important; they'll know they're not alone.