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Kofi left his girlfriend for her friend, only to regret his decision later. “Whenever I saw Yaa, she seemed sparkling, at peace with herself, incredibly beautiful, strong, and even more attractive than she was when we were together. I knew I had made a terrible mistake by breaking up with her. Her friend had looked so sexy and exciting when we first met, but she turned out to be an extremely insecure woman, jealous, and very quarrelsome. That relationship lasted one month.”
You may identify with Kofi, and be in a similar situation. What can you do about it? How can you win your girlfriend back when you have broken up with her after you have wronged her?
Do Self Appraisal
You first have to sit down and ask yourself certain pertinent questions in a spirit of genuine humility, and with a desire to put things right, so that you can win your girlfriend back again:
- What led to the break up?
- Are the conditions that led to both of you parting ways still present? If they are, what strategies will you adopt to ensure it does not cause you to react in the manner that made you break up with your girlfriend? For example, if you broke up with your girlfriend because you were unfaithful, then you have to break up with the new girl before you approach your ex-girlfriend. If you broke up because you are so busy you do not find the time to be a good companion, then you have to adopt strategies to make you find time for her.
- Is there something you could have done to avert the break up but didn’t do? If there are, are you willing to do that thing now if you are presented with the same opportunities to do wrong again?
- What lessons have you learnt since you broke up with your girlfriend?
After you have searched your heart, and answered these questions, count the cost of the break up. How have you suffered psychologically and emotionally because of the break up? Remember all these things and let them make you feel ashamed of yourself. Then forgive yourself and make a promise to yourself that you will never make the mistake that led to the break up again, and then start taking action to win the heart of your girlfriends back.
Reach Out To Her Using Her Friends
To win your girlfriend back, you need to face the reality and realize that unless you take the first step, nothing significant will happen. Therefore, get in touch with her and express your interest in getting back together with her. This will help you to prepare her mind that you are still interested in her so that if she has not entered a new relationship, she will consider you again. It will also help you to know whether she has moved on and started a new relationship or not.
Contact one or two of her close and trusted friends who exert considerable influence on her thoughts and emotions, and who have also broken up with their partners before and gotten back together, and ask them to help you win your girl’s love back. Let them share their stories with her and let her know that it happens sometimes, but people get over it and are able to have great relationships again.
Let these friends go and see her without your company, as an initial step. They can then give you a feedback as to the level of resistance she may put up, or how easy it may be to win her heart back. You can then strategize as to what demeanor you will use to approach your ex-girlfriend to win her back after hurting her.
Involve a Trusted and Respected Leader
One effective way to win your girlfriend back after you dumped her is to seek the support of an older person.
Many people respect authority. They find it difficult to say no to an older person they love and respect when that person makes a request of them. Going with a person who has some kind of authority over your ex-girlfriend, and who wields substantial influence on your former girlfriend, will increase the likelihood that she may comply with your desire and get back together with you.
There are certain older people that your girlfriend will find it difficult saying no to when you involve them and ask them to put in a good word on your behalf. In addition to this, these elders will have experience in relationships, and she is likely to take their pleading into account and give you a fair hearing.
Approach an elderly person in her family who you know is still married to their spouse, explain the issues to him or her, and ask them to talk to your former girlfriend for you. Once you involve such a person, your ex- girlfriend will know that you are serious about getting back together with her, because she will reckon you cannot betray the trust of that elderly person and go back on your word. The credibility of this person will also not be in doubt since this person is still in a relationship and can tell your ex-girlfriend about all the challenges that people in relationships go through, but which they learn to handle, and weave together will the sweet things that happen in a relationship, to produce a beautiful, stable, and lasting relationship.
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Arrange a Meeting
Arrange a meeting at her house at which the elder(s) will be present.
First of all, let your former girlfriend express her feelings to you before the elder. Let her pour out her heart as to how you have hurt her. Do not deny her feelings or stop her from saying exactly how she feels. Let her say the pain and hurt she went through when you broke up with her. You are more likely to win your girlfriend’s love back if she feels that you truly understand how you have hurt her, and the difficulties she has faced because of your behavior. This will relieve her emotionally and dignify her. It is only after she has expressed her feelings that you should lay on the table what you have.
In the presence of the elderly person you choose, apologize profusely to you girlfriend again and tell her how sorry you are to have wronged her. Do not make any attempt to downplay what you did to cause the break up, or to make her think that you think it was nothing. Name your fault for what it was, and shame it so that she knows that you have taken it into serious consideration, and have realized how wrong you were. Your voice must be mellow, your facial expression must show some sort of sorrow. Also, put your head in your hands at some points in the meeting, and also look down and away from her to indicate guilt and shame.
If you do not show that you are truly remorseful, it is not likely she will take your apology seriously, and you will not be able to win your woman’s love back.
To show that you have truly changed:
- Give her promises you intend to abide by, and tell her you will be accountable to the elderly person present at the meeting. For example, if you broke up because you were unfaithful, give her a commitment that this time you will focus all your attention on her and let her be your one and only. Tell her you will be extra careful of how you deal with temptation. Then, give her benchmarks to show that you are really committed to your word. For example, you can tell her that you will be careful in your association with other girls. If a girl is tempting you, you will refuse firmly, or call her at that moment just to talk and remind yourself of her so that you will not succumb to the temptation. You can also say you will try as much as possible to go to social events with her so that you can strengthen your love bond. If the problem was that you were not spending enough time with her, then make a commitment to spend thirty minutes, or one hour every week with her. This will go a long way to help you win your girlfriend’s feelings back.
- Write these commitments on two sheets of paper, let her see these two sheets, and give her one of the sheets to read and to keep. This will help with accountability because from time to time you can both refer to the commitments and see whether you are doing well and meeting the commitments or not. In addition, she would have the liberty to check out the commitments at any time so that she can keep you on track.
- People are generally more likely to do something they have written down or agreed verbally, and so this action will tell her that you seriously want to do what you say you will do, and show her your commitment to do what is right this time to make her happy. Again, once you commit to her in front of the elderly person(s), it will tell her you are more likely to follow through with what you have written down. This will make her more willing to give you a chance.
- Give her a gift to show that you still love her and want her. Before you go there, take the time to buy something precious you know she loves, wrap it up nicely, and present it to her to let her know that despite what happened, you still feel she is a precious woman, and you want to get back together with her.
- Remind her of the good moments you shared together, the times when both of you laughed together, or felt so warm when you hugged, and when the love bond was strong. Tell her you are going to do your best to create that sort of loving relationship again. This may help you win your ex- girlfriend back for good because those memories could ignite fresh feelings for you in her heart, and influence her to want to get back with you again.
- Let her tell you exactly what she expects from you from now on. Let her write those things down, make a copy of it, and keep it so that you can remind yourself of them regularly to keep you on track to make her happy.
Then let the older person(s) share their experiences with your ex-girlfriend, and advise her to give you another chance.
All these actions will tell her that you want to do something different with the relationship. They are likely to influence her to give you a favorable response, and to help you win your girlfriend back. If she is not ready to respond immediately, give her some time to think about all you have told her. Be patient and pray that God will touch her heart and make you win your girlfriend back after the break up.
If She Accepts You
- Date her again. See the relationship as starting all over again, and do the romantic things you used to do when you fell in love with her initially.
- Resolve to do continuous monitoring and evaluation of your relationship from now on. This will involve regularly going back to the promises you made to her, finding out which ones you are fulfilling, and which ones you are not doing so well in fulfilling. Ask her if she is satisfied, and if she is not, then up your game. It will also involve giving the elder(s) feedback on how the relationship is progressing.
- Show her that you can be counted on. If you say you will visit her on Saturday, make it a point to honor that appointment.
- Go the extra mile to make her happy. Make sure you call her first every time. Do not wait for her to call you to find out what you are doing or where you are.
- Build up a record of trustworthy behavior if you want to win your girlfriend’s trust back. Determine to speak the truth, to follow through on your promises, and try to be more dependable. Your girlfriend will accord you greater trust as you build up a record of responsible behavior.
- If you feel that despite your best efforts your girlfriend is still not giving you the trust you deserve, talk things over with her. Respectfully ask her what she thinks you need to do to earn her trust again. Don’t expect her to trust you fully immediately. She will want to see that you fulfill your promises before she trusts you again.
These are some ways to win your girlfriend back after you have wronged her. When she forgives you , do your best to make her happy so that your relationship will last. From now on, make her trust you, and do your possible best never to make her feel this sad again.
How to Win Your Girlfriend Back
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
© 2016 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio