How to Heal After a Breakup
How are you coping with your breakup?
I broke up with a girl I loved dearly. It happened not too long ago. There was nothing I could do about it. She belonged to a different religion and her folks wanted her to marry someone from their own community. She decided to heed their wishes. I am in pain now. However, I know I will heal from this difficult experience, and I will help you heal from the breakup you have experienced in your life.
Do Not Try to Flee the Pain
The pain you are feeling now is all too real. It is impossible for you to get away from it. Experience it. Experience the inevitable feeling of being let down by the one person you trusted would be with you no matter what. This too shall pass. This experience, although shattering, will not destroy you unless you allow it to. Realize that you are becoming stronger every moment you endure this suffering.
Please Forgive Her / Him
It is likely you feel angry and hurt. However, not forgiving the person who has moved away from you will only make you feel worse. Forgiveness is an absolute must if you must heal. Know that she or he is also as human as you are. She or he also makes decisions that will be regretted later. She or he may be a victim of her or his circumstances, which you are maybe not totally aware of. She or he may still be lacking in maturity. Forgive. If you are religious, pray for the wellbeing and prosperity of this person in her or his future life.
If Possible Reach Out for Help
If there is someone in your family or friends' circle who you think will help you get past this phase, reach out to that person for help. It is okay to be helpless and vulnerable every now and then. Everyone has feelings after all. Feelings make us who we are.
Do Not Sit Idle
No matter what happens, do not allow yourself to languish. An idle mind will make you your own worst enemy. An idle mind will think the worst kind of thoughts possible in your situation.
Engage in some activity. It will not be easy, but this is what you need to do. Work is therapy.
Don't Skip Your Meals
Not eating food will only end up making you even more depressed. Force yourself to eat something, even if very light, at mealtime.
Do Not Make Generalizations
At this juncture, you may feel tempted to make sweeping generalizations about all girls or boys. Don't do it. There are over 7 billion people in the world. They are women and men. Some of them are mean people, some of them are confused people, some of them are enslaved by the circumstances of their life, and some of them are people who spread love and happiness. All of them are human.
Do not let what you are going through make you a misogynist or misandrist. What you are going through should only make you an emotionally stronger person.
Guard Against Trust Issues
It is common for people who experience breakups to develop trust issues. These people find it hard to open up and be personal with others. Don't let yourself become such a person. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and available to a select few people. Things may not go the way you expect them to, but, remember, you are becoming stronger by the minute. Even as you read these words...
Don't Beat Yourself Up
This bit of advice is probably coming a little late on this page, but it is important. A relationship involves two people. What one of the two people does can end the relationship. Some unexpressed beliefs the other person has can also end the relationship.
We are travellers on this earthly journey, and we make mistakes. You will do well to learn from this experience, and you will definitely learn from an experience as challenging as this. Just don't do anything rash.
Know That Time is a Healer
As time passes, you will notice the pain you feel reducing. That's what time does. It always does this.
Go to parties. Hang out at the beach with friends. You will do just fine!
Remember You are Single and Available to Mingle
Hurray! You can date again! You won't be cheating anyone by doing so. Freedom is here. You are free!
What You Need to Do or Avoid Doing
Forgive her / him
Trying to flee the pain
Reach out for help and support
Guard against trust issues
Know that time is a healer
Making generalizations about girls / boys
Beating yourself up
Remember you are single and available to mingle!