How to Heal After a Breakup

Updated on August 20, 2016
rohanfelix profile image

Rohan knows how a breakup feels. He is here to help you deal with your situation.

A breakup can be excruciating, but you can learn a lot from the experience and become a happier and more fulfilled person in the long run.
A breakup can be excruciating, but you can learn a lot from the experience and become a happier and more fulfilled person in the long run. | Source

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How are you coping with your breakup?

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I broke up with a girl I loved dearly. It happened not too long ago. There was nothing I could do about it. She belonged to a different religion and her folks wanted her to marry someone from their own community. She decided to heed their wishes. I am in pain now. However, I know I will heal from this difficult experience, and I will help you heal from the breakup you have experienced in your life.

Do Not Try to Flee the Pain

The pain you are feeling now is all too real. It is impossible for you to get away from it. Experience it. Experience the inevitable feeling of being let down by the one person you trusted would be with you no matter what. This too shall pass. This experience, although shattering, will not destroy you unless you allow it to. Realize that you are becoming stronger every moment you endure this suffering.

Your tears are for real. The pain you are experiencing is real. Do not try to rush out of this situation. You can't. You will pull through though.
Your tears are for real. The pain you are experiencing is real. Do not try to rush out of this situation. You can't. You will pull through though. | Source

Please Forgive Her / Him

It is likely you feel angry and hurt. However, not forgiving the person who has moved away from you will only make you feel worse. Forgiveness is an absolute must if you must heal. Know that she or he is also as human as you are. She or he also makes decisions that will be regretted later. She or he may be a victim of her or his circumstances, which you are maybe not totally aware of. She or he may still be lacking in maturity. Forgive. If you are religious, pray for the wellbeing and prosperity of this person in her or his future life.

Unforgiveness will only make you a prisoner to yourself. Forgiveness is liberating.
Unforgiveness will only make you a prisoner to yourself. Forgiveness is liberating. | Source

If Possible Reach Out for Help

If there is someone in your family or friends' circle who you think will help you get past this phase, reach out to that person for help. It is okay to be helpless and vulnerable every now and then. Everyone has feelings after all. Feelings make us who we are.

Reach out to someone mature for support.
Reach out to someone mature for support. | Source

Do Not Sit Idle

No matter what happens, do not allow yourself to languish. An idle mind will make you your own worst enemy. An idle mind will think the worst kind of thoughts possible in your situation.

Engage in some activity. It will not be easy, but this is what you need to do. Work is therapy.

Whatever happens, do not sit idle and mope.
Whatever happens, do not sit idle and mope. | Source

Don't Skip Your Meals

Not eating food will only end up making you even more depressed. Force yourself to eat something, even if very light, at mealtime.

Skipping meals will make you feel worse. At least, eat a few fruits.
Skipping meals will make you feel worse. At least, eat a few fruits. | Source

Do Not Make Generalizations

At this juncture, you may feel tempted to make sweeping generalizations about all girls or boys. Don't do it. There are over 7 billion people in the world. They are women and men. Some of them are mean people, some of them are confused people, some of them are enslaved by the circumstances of their life, and some of them are people who spread love and happiness. All of them are human.

Do not let what you are going through make you a misogynist or misandrist. What you are going through should only make you an emotionally stronger person.

Guard Against Trust Issues

It is common for people who experience breakups to develop trust issues. These people find it hard to open up and be personal with others. Don't let yourself become such a person. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and available to a select few people. Things may not go the way you expect them to, but, remember, you are becoming stronger by the minute. Even as you read these words...

Allow yourself to trust. Make yourself vulnerable when required. Don't harden your heart.
Allow yourself to trust. Make yourself vulnerable when required. Don't harden your heart. | Source

Don't Beat Yourself Up

This bit of advice is probably coming a little late on this page, but it is important. A relationship involves two people. What one of the two people does can end the relationship. Some unexpressed beliefs the other person has can also end the relationship.

We are travellers on this earthly journey, and we make mistakes. You will do well to learn from this experience, and you will definitely learn from an experience as challenging as this. Just don't do anything rash.

Know That Time is a Healer

As time passes, you will notice the pain you feel reducing. That's what time does. It always does this.

Time will blunt the edge of your pain.
Time will blunt the edge of your pain. | Source

Socialize!

Go to parties. Hang out at the beach with friends. You will do just fine!

Remember You are Single and Available to Mingle

Hurray! You can date again! You won't be cheating anyone by doing so. Freedom is here. You are free!

You can now date again. You are single again. You are free!
You can now date again. You are single again. You are free! | Source

What You Need to Do or Avoid Doing

Do
Avoid
Forgive her / him
Trying to flee the pain
Reach out for help and support
idleness
Guard against trust issues
Skipping meals
Know that time is a healer
Making generalizations about girls / boys
Socialize
Beating yourself up
Remember you are single and available to mingle!
 

This video will help you realize why exactly you feel the way you do about your breakup.

Comments

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    • profile image

      teaches12345 

      2 years ago

      I imagine the trust issue would be hard to overcome. Your suggestion to not sit idle is most important -- keep moving forward.

    • totalit profile image

      Raza Bajwa 

      2 years ago from Pakistan

      Very interesting and knowledgeable article. I hope in future will be able to heal break-up side effects easily.

    • rohanfelix profile imageAUTHOR

      Rohan Rinaldo Felix 

      2 years ago from Chennai, India

      I'm glad you found the hub meaningful! I am already doing quite fine!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 

      2 years ago from USA

      An empathic and informative hub for those who are experiencing a break-up. I wish you the best in healing your heart. You have a very mature perspective on the subject.

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