How to Get Your Baby Father Back
I once received an e-mail saying, "I love my son and my ex, so I've been wondering how to get my baby father back. I want to be a family. Any advice?"
It can feel like a heart-wrenching situation to have your child with you, but not have his father's love. If your goal is to learn how to get your baby father back, read on.
Is Anything Keeping Your Baby Father at a Distance?
Let Him See What a Good Mother You Are
- Hold your baby in your lap or next to you and dote on him. The visual of you two happily together will put an image of harmony in your ex's mind -- perhaps an image he would like to be closer to.
- Don't bring people of questionable character around your child. Your baby daddy will not like knowing that men who are just after you for sex or who have a criminal record are in the same house with your baby.
- Feed your child healthy food. When a dad sees that you are fulfilling a traditional womanly role of nurturing your child with home-cooked food, he will assess that you are serious about parenting. And that maybe you might have some good food for him too!
Keep Him Away from Other Women so You Can Work Your Magic
It is easier to get your baby father back if there isn't another woman in his life. And if there isn't, ask him if he'd like to spend some time with his son or daughter. Slowly increase the amount of time of visits so that he becomes more preoccupied with fatherhood. In the meantime, flirt with him a little, keep the mood light, and see where it goes.
No woman wants another female moving in on a guy she wants. If he just met a woman, you can make your and your child's presence known to her so that she is immediately aware she isn't his first priority. Don't be rude to the woman, but perhaps bring up doctor's appointments, diaper changing, or crying and screaming your baby does—the not-so-fun parts of having a child in your life.
Often, women will be turned off once they realize a new guy already has a serious adult commitment. You wouldn't be saying anything false. After all, you'd want to make sure anyone around your child would be able to handle the truths about being around a baby. As an added bonus, you might scare her off without appearing witchy.
Make Sure You Two Still Have a Chance Together
- Is there a little spark still there? Do you both feel chemistry with one another? Attraction fuels couplehood. It's easier to get your baby father back if he is attracted to you physically, even though it might not be politically correct to say so.
- Do you still like one another? Being agreeable is very important in a long-term relationship. Traits like kindness, being a good listener, and preventing an argument from going too far helps keep people on a good page with each other.
- This can be hard to do. Women naturally want their child's father living in the same house with them, ideally married, because women are nesters. When your life reflects the disharmony of a fatherless home, it causes stress and can make you do things you otherwise would not.
- If you are this type, When you find that your stress might hamper how you treat others, simply remember that it's easier to attract bees with honey than with vinegar. Being unpleasant will simply bring you back unpleasantries.
Make Sure He Is a Good Man
- Does he deserve you? Is he respectful to people? Is he work-oriented? Those are all necessary.
- Is he a drug user or dealer, abuser of women, a womanizer, or a cheater? Does he call himself a player? Those are signs of a man you don't need, no matter strongly you feel the chemistry is between you. And a man who doesn't have ingrained morals and ethics will never want to be a reliable family man.
Questions & Answers
My baby's father does not seem to love me anymore, but I still love him. How can I show that to him?
If a man does not love you anymore, then you do not want to express love to him, because it would be one-sided and unrewarding for you. However, being decent and respectful goes a long way. If he is kind to you, be kind back. That's the easiest way to make a person feel good around you and want to be around you. If he is not nice to you, then don't go out of your way to be nice to him. Just be neutral in your tone and establish an expectation of respect if this is the case.Helpful 71
My child's father decided to move on without me. I still want to be with him and work things out. He says he will still be here for me and he still loves me and that maybe in the future we could work things out, but right now he’s not willing to take the chance of me hurting him again. My family thinks I shouldn’t be with him for numerous reasons, but I still love him and want our family back. What should I do? How can I get him back? I want him to see that I’m willing to work through our differences.
I think you should let him have the space he wants and not bring up the issue of being together. When the pressure is off, he might decide he wants to get back together.Helpful 40
My son's father and I were together for ten years. He is now living with the woman he cheated on me with when I was pregnant with our second child. He has moved on, but we still occasionally have sex. He says he loves me still and I love him, even though he moved on. It hurts so bad to see him do family things with his new girlfriend and our kids. How can I get over him because I know he can't be faithful to anyone?
It is tough to go through loving someone when they pull at your heartstrings, hurt you, yet it is hard to stop the cycle. We all have a need for physical and emotional intimacy, however, in this case it would be best to stop sleeping with him. It will just keep you connected to him on a deeper level and keep you in an emotionally unhealthy spot.
If you cut the physical relationship, you will not be giving more to him than you are getting back. I think it will hurt you less. In the meantime try to focus on something that is exciting that you can look forward to that has nothing to do with him. For example, do you want to take a vacation somewhere? Do you want to change your look? Do you want to learn new things? It might sound funny, but being excited about something you always wanted to try and carrying it out will give you a dose of happiness and a new outlook that will be good for your well-being. You can involve your child as well in your new interest.
Romantic relationships are only one aspect of life. When they aren't going the right way, it is always good to look for another aspect of life that can bring you joy.Helpful 35
My baby daddy wants to be broken up with me, saying this is not the relationship he wants to be in after numerous arguments. He said he has been miserable and wants out. I felt he wasn't there as much as I needed him to be and have always been insecure when he is away from me. It's now been a week since he broke up with me. He texted me on Saturday checking up. Is there a way to find out if the breakup is final? Or maybe a way of fixing my relationship?
I hate to hear what you're going through but my advice is to just keep your communication with him short, polite, and business-like. I wouldn't even suggest staying in any kind of contact at all if you didn't have a child together already. Don't let him know how much you miss him. Don't be romantic, seductive, or flirty. If he wants to be broken up, he doesn't deserve any of that kind of attention from you. However, if he wants to come back due to you giving him that space and drama-free communication, both of you need to set your relationship boundaries beforehand to see if you will truly be compatible again.Helpful 27
My child's father said be wants to break up because he feels as if he never had to chase me. He's a nice guy but he just woke one day and said he doesn't want this anymore and he's been very cold. He loves coming around, however, to see his daughter but I usually get angry that he doesn't want to be with me. So I argue when he's around so he doesn't come around. What should I do? I want him back.
This would be a tough predicament when you care for someone. I feel as if this person is giving you a lame excuse for not wanting to be in a relationship. If he wants to still chase you, then you want to be unavailable to him. When you argue with him, in a way, it is emotionally "chasing" him, because it shows how much you care. People don't argue when they don't care for something/someone. So I would let him come around and see his child, but otherwise, show detachment to him. Don't be rude or overly nice, just neutral. Even if he does not come back to you it reduces your stress levels by lowering the volume of expressed anger.
If he wants to come back, resist him. Make it a challenge for him. Tell him the only way you would take him back is with marriage. Because the only way to legally protect yourself from some of the repercussions of being walked out on is with marriage. If it weren't for marriage, many more couples would walk away from each other for any number of reasons.Helpful 3
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