How to Get Your Baby Father Back
I once received an e-mail saying, "I love my son and my ex, so I've been wondering how to get my baby father back. I want to be a family. Any advice?"
It can feel like a heart-wrenching situation to have your child with you, but not have his father's love. If your goal is to learn how to get your baby father back, read on.
Is Anything Keeping Your Baby Father at a Distance?
Let Him See What a Good Mother You Are
- Hold your baby in your lap or next to you and dote on him. The visual of you two happily together will put an image of harmony in your ex's mind -- perhaps an image he would like to be closer to.
- Don't bring people of questionable character around your child. Your baby daddy will not like knowing that men who are just after you for sex or who have a criminal record are in the same house with your baby.
- Feed your child healthy food. When a dad sees that you are fulfilling a traditional womanly role of nurturing your child with home-cooked food, he will assess that you are serious about parenting. And that maybe you might have some good food for him too!
Keep Him Away from Other Women so You Can Work Your Magic
It is easier to get your baby father back if there isn't another woman in his life. And if there isn't, ask him if he'd like to spend some time with his son or daughter. Slowly increase the amount of time of visits so that he becomes more preoccupied with fatherhood. In the meantime, flirt with him a little, keep the mood light, and see where it goes.
No woman wants another female moving in on a guy she wants. If he just met a woman, you can make your and your child's presence known to her so that she is immediately aware she isn't his first priority. Don't be rude to the woman, but perhaps bring up doctor's appointments, diaper changing, or crying and screaming your baby does—the not-so-fun parts of having a child in your life.
Often, women will be turned off once they realize a new guy already has a serious adult commitment. You wouldn't be saying anything false. After all, you'd want to make sure anyone around your child would be able to handle the truths about being around a baby. As an added bonus, you might scare her off without appearing witchy.
Make Sure You Two Still Have a Chance Together
- Is there a little spark still there? Do you both feel chemistry with one another? Attraction fuels couplehood. It's easier to get your baby father back if he is attracted to you physically, even though it might not be politically correct to say so.
- Do you still like one another? Being agreeable is very important in a long-term relationship. Traits like kindness, being a good listener, and preventing an argument from going too far helps keep people on a good page with each other.
- This can be hard to do. Women naturally want their child's father living in the same house with them, ideally married, because women are nesters. When your life reflects the disharmony of a fatherless home, it causes stress and can make you do things you otherwise would not.
- If you are this type, When you find that your stress might hamper how you treat others, simply remember that it's easier to attract bees with honey than with vinegar. Being unpleasant will simply bring you back unpleasantries.
Make Sure He Is a Good Man
- Does he deserve you? Is he respectful to people? Is he work-oriented? Those are all necessary.
- Is he a drug user or dealer, abuser of women, a womanizer, or a cheater? Does he call himself a player? Those are signs of a man you don't need, no matter strongly you feel the chemistry is between you. And a man who doesn't have ingrained morals and ethics will never want to be a reliable family man.
Questions & Answers
My baby's father does not seem to love me anymore, but I still love him. How can I show that to him?
If a man does not love you anymore, then you do not want to express love to him, because it would be one-sided and unrewarding for you. However, being decent and respectful goes a long way. If he is kind to you, be kind back. That's the easiest way to make a person feel good around you and want to be around you. If he is not nice to you, then don't go out of your way to be nice to him. Just be neutral in your tone and establish an expectation of respect if this is the case.Helpful 83
I broke up with the father to my child. However, after some time, I developed feelings for him again. He also seemed to have some feelings, and the connection is still there, but sometimes it seems to change on his side. Deep inside, I can tell he still feels something. But I don't understand why he sometimes acts like he does not. How can I be certain that he still feels something?
He might have mixed feelings. The best thing you can do is just be relaxed around him with no pressure. You can make flirtatious or sensual eye contact, however. This way you are not putting any kind of verbal pressure on him. The eye contact might cause him to take some kind of action, though it just might be intimacy, since men sometimes react strongly to eye contact. Otherwise, being relaxed and kind around him will be a gentle reminder that you're a good woman, and that might help too.Helpful 30
My baby daddy wants to be broken up with me, saying this is not the relationship he wants to be in after numerous arguments. He said he has been miserable and wants out. I felt he wasn't there as much as I needed him to be and have always been insecure when he is away from me. It's now been a week since he broke up with me. He texted me on Saturday checking up. Is there a way to find out if the breakup is final? Or maybe a way of fixing my relationship?
I hate to hear what you're going through but my advice is to just keep your communication with him short, polite, and business-like. I wouldn't even suggest staying in any kind of contact at all if you didn't have a child together already. Don't let him know how much you miss him. Don't be romantic, seductive, or flirty. If he wants to be broken up, he doesn't deserve any of that kind of attention from you. However, if he wants to come back due to you giving him that space and drama-free communication, both of you need to set your relationship boundaries beforehand to see if you will truly be compatible again.Helpful 30
My baby's father married another woman he knew for eight months. She has three kids. Now he wants me back, but we still haven't forgiven each other, and he came to see his daughter after six months apart. I don't know what to do. I love him. Should I fight for him?
No, don't fight for him. He made a decision and is married now. You don't want to bring all that drama into your life. He might want you back but if he doesn't get divorced then it is just a wish that he does not intend to act upon.Helpful 7
I was pregnant and lost the baby. So I am pregnant again. My baby's father has a child with someone else, but at his home they have never seen this child. So lately he spends much time with them and she even posted him holding the baby. The baby's mother doesn't know that he is expecting another child and that his family welcomed me. So I need to know what to do. Must I forget about him or must I bring him back to me and how?
At this point, you won't want to forget him at least in terms of child support. You would need to find out where his heart is as well. Is the father now involved with the other mother? This would complicate things. Since you are involved with the father's family you at least have this connection going for you. It sounds like he hasn't shut you out, so you still could have a chance. Just be a stable and calming source to him but don't let him take advantage of you. Find out where he stands before any future intimacy.Helpful 2
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