How to Get Your Baby Father Back
Is anything keeping your baby father at a distance?
Yesterday I received an e-mail saying, "I love my son and my ex, so I've been wondering how to get my baby father back. I want to be a family. Any advice?"
It can feel like a heart-wrenching situation to have your child with you, but not have his father's love. If your goal is to learn how to get your baby father back, read on.
Let him see what a good mother you are
- Hold your baby in your lap or next to you and dote on him. The visual of you two happily together will put an image of harmony in your ex's mind -- perhaps an image he would like to be closer to.
- Don't bring people of questionable character around your child. Your baby daddy will not like knowing that men who are just after you for sex or who have a criminal record are in the same house with your baby.
- Feed your child healthy food. When a dad sees that you are fulfilling a traditional womanly role of nurturing your child with home-cooked food, he will assess that you are serious about parenting. And that maybe you might have some good food for him too!
Keep him away from other women so you can work your magic
It is easier to get your baby father back if there isn't another woman in his life. And if there isn't, ask him if he'd like to spend some time with his son or daughter. Slowly increase the amount of time of visits so that he becomes more preoccupied with fatherhood. In the meantime, flirt with him a little, keep the mood light, and see where it goes.
No woman wants another female moving in on a guy she wants. If he just met a woman, you can make your and your child's presence known to her so that she is immediately aware she isn't his first priority. Don't be rude to the woman, but perhaps bring up doctor's appointments, diaper changing, or crying and screaming your baby does -- the not-so-fun parts of having a child in your life.
Often, women will be turned off once they realize a new guy already has a serious adult commitment. You wouldn't be saying anything false. After all, you'd want to make sure anyone around your child would be able to handle the truths about being around a baby. As an added bonus, you might scare her off without appearing witchy.
Make sure you two still have a chance together
- Is there a little spark still there? Do you both feel chemistry with one another? Attraction fuels couplehood. It's easier to get your baby father back if he is attracted to you physically, even though it might not be politically correct to say so.
- Do you still like one another? Being agreeable is very important in a long-term relationship. Traits like kindness, being a good listener, and preventing an argument from going too far helps keep people on a good page with each other.
- This can be hard to do. Women naturally want their child's father living in the same house with them, ideally married, because women are nesters. When your life reflects the disharmony of a fatherless home, it causes stress and can make you do things you otherwise would not.
- If you are this type, When you find that your stress might hamper how you treat others, simply remember that it's easier to attract bees with honey than with vinegar. Being unpleasant will simply bring you back unpleasantries.
Make sure he is a good man
- Does he deserve you? Is he respectful to people? Is he work-oriented? Those are all necessary.
- Is he a drug user or dealer, abuser of women, a womanizer, or a cheater? Does he call himself a player? Those are signs of a man you don't need, no matter strongly you feel the chemistry is between you. And a man who doesn't have ingrained morals and ethics will never want to be a reliable family man.
Questions & Answers
My son's father and I were together for ten years. He is now living with the woman he cheated on me with when I was pregnant with our second child. He has moved on, but we still occasionally have sex. He says he loves me still and I love him, even though he moved on. It hurts so bad to see him do family things with his new girlfriend and our kids. How can I get over him because I know he can't be faithful to anyone?Helpful 13
What does it mean when my baby daddy tells me he loves me, but can't see a relationship with me. Yet every time he's around, I can feel a connection. Is it a possibility that we could still work things out and be together, or should I just give up on it?
I'm just speculating here because I don't really know anything about your life. I think it means he loves you but he either feels because of the past he can't get along with you, another woman could have his heart right now, or perhaps he loves you but isn't "in love" with you. I have found that often we can feel a connection or a spark around others yet they might not feel it on their side. I would suggest continuing to be cordial with him, so he feels good around you, while still moving on with other things in your life that make you happy. A happy woman is a magnet and could draw him back in, or could draw someone else who likes you in. You deserve to be happy one way or another. My best wishes to you.
How do I get my baby father back if it was a long distance relationship?
That can be tough. You can always try to maintain strong online and phone contact and see if you can build from there.
What moves can you take to get his attention?
Eye contact is a good idea. Also, if you don't already dress conservatively, business-like outfit, hair, and makeup makes a nice impression.