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5 Easy Steps to Win Back the Love of Your Life

My name is William and I am a college student who loves to help people, and wants to one day be a psychiatrist.

Reconnect With Your Ex

Reconnect With Your Ex

These five steps are in no way, shape, or form a guarantee that you will win your partner back. They are merely a series of steps that have been proven to work in the past. Growth takes time, but having more knowledge about how to make things work with your ex can help you in any future relationship.

Five Steps to Win Back Your Love

  1. Give your partner space
  2. Improve your image
  3. Reconnect on shared interests
  4. Put in the effort to change
  5. Practice patience coupled with persistence

These steps are designed to not only get back the person you've lost, or are losing, but also to help you understand whether or not your relationship is right for you! There are five steps that can help you win back your partner. The paragraphs below will explore each in detail.

I'm just pieces without you.

I'm just pieces without you.

Step 1: Why You Should Give Your Partner Space

When you're in a relationship, "space" can be one of the worst words in the English language. It may just be the first step in getting back the one you love. If you're no longer in a relationship with the person, then you are probably not in contact with them. Just go one a step farther and take time to be separated from that person.

Giving Your Partner Space Serves Multiple Purposes

  • It gives you time to take a look at the relationship and figure out all the bad things that caused the breakup.
  • It gives you time to see if those issues can be worked through.
  • Give your ex-partner time to miss all the things that made them love you to begin with. During this step, you start becoming a better you.

Step 2: Why You Should Improve Your Image in Your Relationship

It is easy to think that it will not be hard to give someone space, but the reality is that giving someone space is usually difficult. Being apart can be extremely stressful and can cause anxiety. Improving your image helps work to divert this stress and anxiety into more positive outlets.

What You Can Do to Improve Yourself and Feel Happier

  • Work out. Working out releases endorphins.
  • Get some sun.
  • Have a good laugh!

Doing these activities can promote a more positive outlook on life. You want to be a better you because, even if the person you're trying to get back loved the person that you were, they will not complain if you put forth the effort to look and feel better.

Work on yourself to avoid tense conversations!

Work on yourself to avoid tense conversations!

Top Reasons Why Relationships Fail

Relationship IssueWhat It Causes

Trust Issues

Jealousy, possessiveness, unreasonable rigidity, emotional infidelity

Different Expectations

Differences in Priorities and drifting away

Compatibility Issues

Loss of intimacy

Moving Through Life at Different Speeds

The professional and social circles of the couple begin to diverge, and soon the couple diverges too.


A deep need for admiration causes the death of any equal relationship.

Communication Issues

negative judgment, criticism, or sarcasm regarding the worth of an individual

Relational Abuse

Pathological Narcissism. Pathological passive-aggressiveness. Excessive control and dominance. All of these lead to depression, PTSD, anxiety, etc.

Life Habit Abuse

Drug addiction. Alcohol addiction. Gambling addiction. Sexual addiction. All of these cause one partner to feel like he/she/they are never enough.


Being bored can lead to resentment.

Money Issues

Money issues tie into life style issues. If you want drastically different lifestyles, then the relationship might die.

Step 3: Love Your Relationship by Reconnecting on Shared Interests

Step three is not a step to be taken lightly. You have given the person space, and you have made yourself into a better more desirable partner, but now you have to face the possibility that the person might have moved on. This is why its such a big step, you have to put yourself out there and try to reconnect.

How Long Should I Wait to Try to Reconnect With My Ex?

I do not want to put a time stamp on how long you should wait, but I would give it at least a month, or until you see some noticeable changes. Reconnecting should never involve the phrase "I have missed you so much." Not only does this destroy all the time put into steps one and two, but it can also put the person on the defensive. I would advise starting with the neutral question: "How have you been?" This is the moment when the person's answer will either be an opening to start pursuing them again or the moment you find out that the relationship is really over. If you are lucky, and the person is not as happy as they thought they would be without you, then you'll finally have the talk about how to improve your relationship.

Ways to Reconnect With Your Partner

What to TryWhy Try It

Test the waters

Trying new things together will help you remember why you fell in love in the first place.

Look for the humor

In studies of couples who have long-term happy marriages, nearly everyone mentioned the need for a good sense of humor.

Always have a "plan B"

Plan B lightens the mood and reminds you that you are both only human.

Keep things in perspective

Neither of you are perfect. if you sweat the small stuff, then they are likely to retaliate in some way (consciously or unconsciously).


When you enter a relationship, you can't expect perfection. Both of you will need encouragement at times. Encouragement reminds us of the power love has to conquer fear.

Step 4: Put in the Effort to Improve for Your Relationship

Perfection is a word that has been misused and is not fully understood. It's not that you can ever be perfect, but you can try to be the best version of yourself. Although, I would warn you not to go overboard with perfection. You do not want to wear yourself out. You must continue to put forth the effort to keep the relationship going. There's no reward without trying. It should not feel like work and, if it starts to feel like work, you have to look back at the relationship and know that it will take patience and persistence.

Step 5: Practice Patience and Persistence to Get Your Love Back

Patience is the key to getting back the love of your life. Why is this? Remember, nothing ever comes easy or fast . . . unless you win the lotto. Regardless, it takes persistence to stay in love. You cannot give up. You must prove to this person that you are the one for them and that it was a mistake to let them go in the first place. No relationship is healed in a day, or even a week. It may take as long as a year to heal your relationship. But, if you're willing to go the extra mile, you may like where the road leads.

This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.