Dealing With Rejection - How to Better Yourself in the Process

Updated on October 28, 2016
Irina Smolinskaya profile image

Writing about life, love, relationships and dating. A research junkie, a book lover and a smart*ss, according to my partner.

We all have to face rejection at some point in our lives, however, it’s harder for some of us to deal with it and we struggle with getting over the hurt and the damaged self-esteem. There is no magical way of fixing it quickly and painlessly, but there are things you could start doing immediately in order to deal with rejection in a better way.

Assess the Situation and Change the Way You Think About It

What makes rejection worse than it is, in your mind, is the way you a assess and measure the effect it has on you. Some of us tend to dwell on being rejected, feeling “destroyed” and “worthless”, we feel like we can’t carry on living with the pain. Instead, stop, take a deep breath and actually understand how you really feel inside. Yes, it hurts, but you are still whole, you are you – NOT broken, alive. Doesn’t it mean you are strong and capable? Focusing on negative emotions alone puts you in a box from which you can’t escape. It’s important to acknowledge how you feel, but it’s also important to remember that it’s not the end, it has minimum effect on your life and you’ll be over it eventually.

Address the Effects of Rejection on Your Physical State

The negative emotions we feel when someone rejects us affect not just our minds but our bodies as well. Feelings of being let down and low self-esteem can lead to depression which in its turn makes us feel listless, tired and unmotivated to perform the usual daily tasks. Cut that in the bud by engaging in some physical activities. Go for walks, do light exercises, simple stretching or try meditation. Focusing on something that betters your body will give you a load of positive emotions and make you feel better about yourself on the whole.

Rejection Is a Lesson

Stop thinking about rejection as something terrible that happened to you. Instead, think about the situation as a whole and look for things that you can learn from. When your relationship ends, it turns into experience, which in its turn leads to personal development. Reflect on what you can take from it and not just the fact that it happened.

This might be a weird one but think about the relationships YOU have ended and people YOU have rejected. Think about why you did it and you’ll realize that those reasons usually had something to do with the circumstances you were in and not with the person. Rejection is natural, it’s a part of our daily lives, it’s not something you need to dwell upon but something you take from and advance.

Reconnect With Those Who Love You

Spend time with your best friends and your family. Remember that people love you for who you are, they enjoy your company and your personality. It’s a great boost to your self-esteem; it helps you remember all the amazing things you have to offer to someone great.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      2 years ago

      Excellent advice!

      The reality is everyone rejects people and everyone gets rejected.

      Each of us is entitled to choose who we spend our time with.

      Each of us gets to choose our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Each of us is entitled to have our own "deal breakers" and boundaries.

      When you think about it rejection is the best time saver there is. One of the worst things in the world is to be strung along hoping for something that will never be. Rejection just means it's time to move on.

      People who take rejection the hardest are those who have limited or warped perspective about life, opportunities, and options.

      When you operate from a place of "scarcity" you tend to feel if you don't get whatever it was you wanted you are doomed. "Life isn't worth living." B.S.!

      The reality is there are over (7 Billion) other people on the planet!

      Essentially the odds are everyone has thousands if not millions of people who would consider them to be an ideal mate!

      In order for your ex to have been "the one" they would have had to see (you) as being "the one". At the very least a "soul-mate" is someone who actually WANTS to be with you! (And vice versa). Let go and move on!

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

      Clearly if someone rejects you or dumps you they didn't think you were all that "special". Every ending is a new beginning!

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