Jenny is a girl who once failed in her relationship but found the courage to move on with her life. She is now happy and contented.
Forgetting Your Ex-Girlfriend or Boyfriend
Every failed relationship is painful. It hurts us in a way no physical wounds can...
I, too was heartbroken. I was so mad at myself for being such a fool and I almost hated the world for being so unfair. I wanted to slap just anybody, and wanted to be alone for a while (thank goodness I have no suicidal tendencies). I was emotionally tortured that time. I was crying while at work. And every time I hear the sound of some familiar love songs I can't help but cry my heart out.
I wanted to move on. I wanted to forget him as soon as I can (if only it can happen the next morning when I wake up) but I couldn't. Everywhere I looked, I saw him...there's just too many memories and I thought i would go crazy trying to avoid them.
Overtime, I've realized that it's not enough to just want to move on...I have to do something about it and I did. It wasn't easy I tell you. There were times when I was literally banging my head on the wall for being too weak to fight the urge to contact him and deleting all his numbers didn't help as well as I have memorized them. But as time went by, it became less painful until you literally can't remember how it actually felt. Fortunately, I was successful! Let me share with you the things I did and I'm pretty sure it will help you too.
1. Accept What Happened but Don't Dwell on it
It is normal to be upset, mad and hurt after break-ups especially if it's a third party issue. And you'd probably be mad for a long time. But if you stay mad you'd only stress yourself and you'd only make your world smaller. You have to accept that the relationship is over and don't even try to pick up the pieces because you'd only hurt yourself. Acceptance is the first step to moving on and getting over that stupid ex, so its time for you to make that first step. Once you've accepted it, don't dwell on it. Don't over-think and over-analyze things. Don't dwell on the "what'ifs or what might have beens" in the relationship. It's fruitless. Believe me, I've tried and it only made me feel worse than I have ever been.
Instead, choose to accept that it is over and stop thinking. It’s not easy, but you can do it.
A good way to deal with it is by journaling about your feelings. It doesn't have to be the best writing or even good writing at all. Just get it all out there. Imagine that as you write them down, the bad feelings and thoughts are leaving your body and sticking to the paper.
2. Let Go
The rule of every relationship is never ever be clingy. You have to learn to let go. I know it's not easy. Letting go is actually the most crucial and the most difficult phase of every relationship. There's just too many memories and forgetting these memories feels like an impossibility. Well, who wouldn't find it hard to let go? You have invested so much time, money effort and tears to make the relationship work out only to lose it in just a moment. Of course it's hard to let go! Who am I kidding? However, you also have to think of yourself honey. You ought to respect and value yourself more than anyone and being clingy indicates that your self value is way below the line. Do not cling to someone who doesn't see your true value. It's just not going to work.
3. Go Outside and Be Active
I understand that you want to be alone and I respect that. Everyone deserves some alone time with themselves and I'm not going to deny you that opportunity. When you are alone, you can think things through but don't overdo it.
Do not stay indoors for long. Go out. Enjoy the outdoors. Socialize with your friends. This will give you less time to think about your ex. Bask in the sun or go some place else with your family members. This will definitely give you a better view of the world you once lived in...the world without your stupid ex...Don't forget that you once lived without him/her so it won't definitely ruin your life now that you are back to where you once were... your life isn't over now that they're gone.
In addition, exercising, sunlight, and fresh air will help you become healthier which will make your body feel good. Soon enough, your heart will start feeling better too.
4. Don't Look Back or Imagine "What If . . ."
Once the relationship is broken, it will never be the same again no matter how hard you try to piece it back together. There is a reason why the relationship didn't work, and it's rare that the relationship works the second time around.
If the deal breaker was unrelated to the couple (like a job or just a minor misunderstanding), it's possible things might work out if the situation changes. But if you broke up because of individual differences or cheating, hon, you should think twice before getting involved with the same person again.
You need to look within yourself and be honest. If you think you can still trust the person wholeheartedly then go for it. But you have to be careful. Seriously—if he cheated on you once he’ll cheat on you again, that's for sure! What I'm trying to say is, it's better if you don't look back. Less conflict, worry-free and new possibilities for love and better life. Science have proven that once a cheater is always a cheater so do yourself some favor and look for someone else who would see your true value...
What I'm trying to say is, it's better if you don't look back. You will have less inner conflict, fewer worries, and more possibilities for love and a better life.
5. Make New Memories
To get your ex out of your system, you have to create new memories. If you visited some places together in the past, you need to go to a new spot that you’ve never been before. Better yet, go to somewhere you went together but this time do it with your loved ones and friends. Eat foods you’ve never tasted before. Try a different sport.
Do something you never thought you’d do like bungee jumping, skydiving, ziplining, rock climbing, or anything else! If you create new memories, you will have a better chance at forgetting your ex, and in the process, you'll discover many more things that you are capable of, things you never thought you could do.
6. Improve Yourself
You’re single. This is the best time for you to focus on you. Now, your money and time is all yours to take. Don't feel guilty about spending it.
Treat yourself. Go to a spa or buy anything to get you pampered like mani/pedi set. Buy a new set of clothes, shoes, and makeup. Give yourself a makeover as the strong, independent woman you are. Enroll in a culinary course and learn something new. Indulge in worthwhile activities like yoga, swimming, biking, and the arts.
As you improve yourself, you’ll build the self-confidence that was marred by your previous relationship. Being confident in yourself gives you a certain balance. It makes you feel good about yourself, and that's very attractive.
It also helps to have a role model or mentor, someone who you admire as a person. This could be someone who's also gone through a breakup and can give you some guidance as you're dealing with your feelings. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
7. Avoid Contact With Your Ex as Much as Possible
Your ex might still want to contact you even after breakup. If this happens, it will certainly make it harder for you to forget him. Be respectful but mindful of your needs. You can change your number (or block his), and delete his number from your contact list. If you memorized his number, you will really have to discipline yourself and do your best not to contact him.
Try to memorize other important phone numbers. Keep busy so you won't even have time to think of contacting him. In time, you'll be surprised that you don't remember his phone number anymore.
Unfollow him or block him on all your social media accounts, and delete all your old messages and emails so you don’t spend any time going through them. Make a new email address to make it even more effective. The urge to contact him will wane little by little until you don’t remember him at all.
8. Make Lifestyle Changes
Make a list of all the things you want to do with your life. What are the things that you could never do together? Did he hate boating because he got seasick? Go on a cruise. Did he always roll his eyes when you wanted to go dancing? Take a dance class!
Clean your room and throw away all the things that you associate with your ex like photo albums, gifts he gave you, old rotten flowers he gave you that you're still keeping as souvenirs, letters and birthday cards. If you have posters or pictures drawn on the wall with him, repaint your walls and redecorate your bedroom.
These are not easy things to do. But you have to move on, and removing these things as a memento of your previous relationship will help you forget him faster and for good. Challenge yourself to be strong and you'll be surprised at how easy and how fulfilling it can be if you're successful.
9. See the Good in Yourself
Nothing is impossible if you are determined to really move on, but you have to help yourself. Make a list of all the bad qualities of your ex, the things you couldn’t stand about him or her. List all the reasons why you shouldn't get back together.
Then enumerate all of your good qualities, those qualities that make you special and worth a second shot in love. Make a list of your 100 best qualities. Don’t stop until you reach 100! Having these things written down will help you convince yourself that you’ve made the right decision.
10. Love Again
This is the ultimate way to get over your ex. Even though your past relationship didn't work, it shouldn't stop you from loving again. Try not to close your heart to a new possibility of a love that is better, bolder, and greater than the previous one. Smile and be hopeful. There is someone who is right for you, someone who will be thankful to have you, someone who will treasure and respect you more than anyone else.
You will find a new love that will make you grow more mature and inspired in your everyday life. And who knows, the next person could even be the one you decide to spend the rest of your life with.
That's it folks. That’s my advice. If I was able to get over my ex, I am sure that you will too. Even though it feels like it, it is not the end of the world. There is still someone out there waiting for you who will find you no matter what.
Be thankful and learn from your past and use that to become a better and more lovable person. Realize that there are different kinds of people that we are meant to meet in life. Some of them are just passing by to give us lessons, some will make us stronger, some are meant to show us what real world is like and there are some who will stay with us forever.
Love yourself more and you'll see that new love is coming along soon enough.
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
Questions & Answers
Question: What do I do if I still love my ex?
Answer: There is nothing wrong with loving the person. Most breakups happen when you still love the person, but it just happened that the other party has done something irreparable like cheating, etc. Sometimes you just have to walk away even if you still have feelings for him/her because that is the right thing to do.
Question: I can move on with someone else, but I always think of my ex. What should I do?
Answer: If you still think of your ex with fondness, then you have not moved on at all. You are merely using someone else to be with because you probably don't want to be alone. That's what we call a Rebound, and that is not fair to the other person, so don't do that.
Question: I love my ex to death. He wants nothing to do with me but tells me we can stay friends. He blocked me on Facebook. I cheated on him three times. I lived with him, but in March, he moved out and told me I couldn't go to his new place. What should I do?
Answer: He did the right thing. If you cheated on him three times how dare you say you love him to death? Don't be a hypocrite, and let him move on with his life without someone like you. He clearly deserves someone better.
Question: Will an ex still have another look at you after you move on?
Answer: Whether he looks at you again doesn't matter anymore. Once you can move on with your life, he will be nothing but a distant past encounter. But to answer the question, yes, he might have another look at you, and if he sees you as a different but a better person, he would definitely feel like a loser for losing you.
Question: What if he made you pregnant, should you use the same strategy to forget your ex as the one described in your article?
Answer: If he made you pregnant, you need to talk to him and tell him that he's the father and he is responsible for what happened just like you are also responsible. He has the right to know and he needs to know but if he doesn't take responsibility, then it is up to you to think of the actions you are willing to take about your situation. If he is a jerk, then you are better off without him but you need to tell him and you can decide from there.
Question: I deleted all of his pictures and emails. I threw away everything that he gave me. I also deleted my social media accounts, but I still can't forget him. What should I do?
Answer: Kudos for your bravery. You are one step closer to moving forward, but it is not going to be easy. There will always be that nagging feeling of wanting to check him out, and you need to be brave and strong not to do so. Go out and smell the flowers, as they say. Make new adventures with friends and meet new people; that's the next step.
Question: My ex has a new girlfriend now. Do you think he is still thinking about me?
Answer: I doubt it. But what difference does it make if he still thinks of you? You are no longer together, so I think it is best not to concern yourself with whether or not he still thinks of you. Focus on your life and move on.
Question: I broke up with my first girlfriend in the heat of a moment. She tried to talk to me and waited for me to come back, but I didn't respond. I love her a lot but now, she is in a relationship with another guy, and I can't even imagine her with someone else. I want her back. I talked to her again, and I said I was sorry for my mistake and that I feel guilty for what happened. What can I do?
Answer: You had your chance with her, and you blew it. Now she is in a relationship with another guy so just leave her in peace.
Question: My boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago. I really can't forget him. I try to block him but I end up unblocking him because he hasn't told me the reason he dumped me. I really wanna know why he did that. How can I get an answer from him?
Answer: Have you asked? If you want answers then you ask...but you need to prepare yourself for what he will tell you. The reason why he doesn't tell you yet is probably because he knows the truth will hurt you.
Question: Is staying friends with your ex a smart thing to do?
Answer: Well, let me ask you first, how do you feel towards your ex right now? If you think you are ready to accept nothing but friendship without fooling yourself, then yes, I don't see why not. I know some people who were ex-lovers and are now excellent friends. But if you know in your heart that you still have feelings for your ex, it is stupid to think that you can be friends and worse, you will only hurt yourself. If you are mad at your ex, friendship is totally out of the picture. My suggestion is to move on first, and when you do that, then you will be ready to stay in the friend zone.
Question: I just broke up with him two months ago, but I want him back. I messaged him two days before, and he blocked me. I just want to know if he ever loved me. Whatever he had said, was that true? I am helpless. I want to move on. I don't even speak to anyone for the whole day. I am dying inside, as he cheated on me before also. But I trusted him after a while. What do I do?
Answer: The feeling of wanting him back is normal. The urge to send him a message and beg him and stalk him are all normal. But you are not a hopeless case. Do not be clingy. Despite how desperate you are, try to control the urge to message him. Don't think that you are alone. I'm sure you have your family and friends with you. I think the guy is not worth it because he is a cheater. You deserve someone who will treat you with respect.
Question: I still can't forget about my ex. Will making myself look sexier make me feel better?
Answer: Yes! Improve yourself and be the best version of yourself, and he will eat his heart out.
Question: My boyfriend is in love with another girl. What do I do?
Answer: Then call it quits. It is useless to insist on being in a relationship with a man who loves another. Love yourself more and don't settle for anything less. If he loves another, he can't love you; simple as that.
Question: My ex and I moved on from each other, but we recently met after not speaking to each other for a year and chatted about things in general. He then told me that he still loves me, and that he is willing to dump his current girlfriend. I think I love him too. What do I do?
Answer: Before you think of taking him back, try to remember what you had gone through when you were with him. Was it a happy relationship? Did he cheat on you before? Because if he did, then he is probably doing the same thing now to his current girlfriend, so beware. Second chances in the relationship are glorious if two people who were separated are still in love. However, do not be the reason why he will dump his girlfriend. I think it is not a sign of maturity when you jump from one girl to another right away. If you are a matured person, you will break away from the relationship properly and give yourself some time to be ready before committing again to a new relationship.
Question: I am going through a breakup after two years in a relationship. I am trying to clear the air and stay away, but as much as I try, I can't do it. I go along with it, but I end up failing and trying to get my ex back. I have tried so hard these past few days, but it seems impossible. I miss my ex and forgetting him is so difficult to do. What should I do?
Answer: Breaking up with someone is never easy. The memories of you two will always haunt you, and when they do, you want your ex back, and that's normal. It is never easy to give up on something beautiful that happened, but I think if you start to accept that the relationship is over and remind yourself why it is over, then that would be one step closer to moving forward. Try to work on your acceptance. When you do that, everything else will follow.
Question: In the past 11 months I broke up with my ex, and he moved on with another girl but now I'm jealous, and that made me realize I'm still in love with him. He still gives me the attention I need sometimes. Is it possible that he still feels the same way I do with him?
Answer: He is probably just being nice with you so don't get your hopes up. He has moved on, and so it is time for you to move forward as well. It will not be easy, but with determination, you will be able to do it.
Question: I try to forget my ex, but she keeps texting me. What can I do?
Answer: Change your number and change your social media accounts, or block your ex.
Question: I broke up with my ex because he cheated on me. He said that he loves me. Should I believe him? Also, I still can't get him out of my mind. What can I do?
Answer: I don't know the person so I cannot tell but the fact that he cheated on you before. But for me, it means that I can no longer trust him fully again. How can you love a person and cheat on him/her on the sidelines?
Question: How do I forget an ex if he was your first love?
Answer: Well, you will be able to love again. Most people get over their first love so you will too in time. He will be very hard to forget though, but the pain will go away in time. First loves will always have a special place in our hearts.
Question: I want to get back with my ex, but I want to know if he could give me a second chance, even if it means friendship? What should I do?
Answer: The best way is to go and ask him.
Question: How should I act when I see my ex?
Answer: You should try to act casual but we all know it is freaking difficult. Just be yourself and if you bump into him/her, just say hi/hello and then flash your most beautiful smile and walk away. That will give them something to think about the rest of the day.
Question: My ex broke up with me five months ago and told his friend he didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. I still think about him and love him even though he hasn't contacted me since. When I called him, he told me he’s moved on. What should I do?
Answer: I think you should stop calling him. If he's moved on, then you should move on too.
Question: I try to forget about my Ex, but she keeps on popping up in my mind. Since she is active on social media and internet sites, I try to view what her activities are on a regular basis. What should I do to forget about her?
Answer: First, you need to stop yourself from checking out your Ex all the time. It doesn't help if you are still connected on social media. If you really need to forget her, then you need to disconnect from her. Delete her from your friend's list. Secondly, try not to think about him/her too much by getting yourself distracted by other important things like work, studies, or travels. Lastly, if you have common friends, try to limit your contact while you are still in the process of getting over your past relationship. If you are really determined, then you will do all of these.
Question: My Ex tries to impress my best friend in front of me. I think he likes my best friend and my best friend seems to like him too. What should I do?
Answer: You need to tell your Ex and best friend how you feel and if your best friend cares for you, then he/she should consider your feelings about them possibly dating.
Question: My ex is my classmate, and it's hard for me to forget about him. What should I do?
Answer: I suggest that you focus on your studies first.
Question: What if he wants to remain friends but wants you to continue caring about him but you simply cannot remain friends?
Answer: Ditch him/her. You cannot be friends with your ex if he wants nothing but friendship and you are still in love with him. It is just not possible, and it is going to hurt you.
Question: While my ex and I were in a relationship, everything felt superficial. Is it normal to feel numb after breaking up with him, considering our love felt fake?
Answer: Yeah, I think the fact that you felt your relationship to be superficial means that you had no feelings for your ex in the first place. I think you were emotionally unattached. So it follows that when you broke up, you felt indifferent. Hence, you felt nothing/numb.
Question: Is it bad to ask your bf if he still likes you or not anymore?
Answer: You can ask your boyfriend anything you want to know. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to talk about your relationship and feelings for each other. It helps to keep the flame burning or rekindle it if it flickers. But it can also be a sign of insecurity on your part if you keep asking those questions. Insecurities can be the root cause of other relationship problems so i suggest to check on yourself from time to time and assess what might be the reasons why you feel insecure and you can talk it out with your boyfriend.
My ex has moved on, so I did too, but after four months of a new relationship I still can't get over him. I heard him tell his friends that he regretted dating me, but then he also tells people that he misses me in various ways. I also heard that he still likes me. I love my boyfriend, but I still have feelings for my ex. What should I do?
Answer: I think you are very confused. It probably would have been better if you didn't enter into a new relationship when you know that you are not entirely over your ex. It is unfair to your current boyfriend if you are with him while missing and thinking of your ex. Regarding your ex, if he regrets having dated you and he tells that to everybody, then that is not a sign of maturity. So in my opinion, you are better off without him. If you truly love your boyfriend now, you will focus on him and your relationship.
Question: My ex dumped me about 3 months ago and the day after, he started to go out with another girl who I knew. He still keeps contact with me. I don't love him anymore but my question is, What should I do now, Like I'm sorta over him but every time I see a picture of him and that girl, I burst into tears. What can I do to be completely over him and stop feeling sad every time I see him with another woman?
Answer: Moving on is never easy. I think what you should do first is to refrain from looking at his social media accounts or that girl's. Try to also change your number or delete him from your contact list or do something to prevent him from contacting you. That is the best way to help yourself move on...
Question: What about if you and your ex have a son/daughter and he has a new girlfriend, but you still love him?
Answer: Well, you need to be civil with each other for the sake of your kid/s. You cannot let emotional issues get in the way of his relationship to your child. And although it is difficult, you just have to deal with your emotions and keep it at bay.
Question: I have a child with my ex that is a couple of months old. Sometimes I have to be around when he see's our child. I really don't like being around him because of how our relationship ended. What do I do?
Answer: Your situation is very difficult but I am afraid that you will have to be strong and do nothing about it. He has the right to see his child, and since your kid is still very young, it is not easy to leave his side.
Question: My girlfriend and I were in a good relationship, but one day, I scolded her. She then left me and chose another man, but I'm willing to take her back. What should I do?
Answer: Maybe she left you because you have a habit of scolding her in front of someone else and that is not good. She is not a child to be scolded. You need to treat her like an adult, maybe that is why she left you.
Question: My girlfriend started talking to her ex again, and has now decided that we need “time apart.” I know she has been seeing him since then. Do you think we are completely over and I should try to move on, or is there still a chance?
Answer: This sounds a little suspicious to me. I think your girlfriend may still have feelings for her ex and now that they are seeing each other again, the chances of you being out of the picture are high. I suggest that you talk to her about it and ask her what she feels. Ask her to tell you where you stand in her life and if she still has feelings for her ex. Her answer should give you an idea of whether it is time to move on or to hold on.
Question: I can't forget her, and I am contacting with her. What should I do?
Answer: Motivation should come from within. That way, it is easier. Forgetting someone is not easy, but if you have the support of your family and friends, things will be easier. Go out and make new memories and make yourself busy with other things. Delete all her numbers and emails and addresses from your phone, and block her in all social media accounts. That will make it a bit easier as well.
Question: My ex just broke up with me over me being “clingy.” (Is checking in with her asking how her day is clingy?) My ex also said I’m sad half the time; she just has a lot of energy, and I certainly don’t. Do I need to change anything?
Answer: At some point we need to change for the better, we all do. People tell us to be ourselves, and that is indeed good but being ourselves also mean that we need to change some negative aspects of ourselves and improve them for our sake, not for other people. The point is, when you are in a relationship, you shouldn't feel pressured to change. If you feel pressured, and if you feel like you are being nagged too much in the way you are, then quit it. Asking someone about their day is good and nice actually, but if you do it every day and if it becomes a monotonous part of your routine then it gets annoying eventually especially if the other person's day didn't go too well. But I think it is not clingy. You need to find someone who would accept you for what you are and not pressure you into changing anything about yourself. If you change anything, let it be at your own discretion and not because your partner nagged you about it.
Question: My ex was my first, but because of the distance, we separated. I moved on and no contact, but I still miss him.the memories I try so hard to forget but I can't. Instead, I compare my new bf with him. How can I stop my thinking and emotions?
Answer: Actually, you cant. When you are hurting it is almost impossible to control your emotions and thoughts but it will help if you distract yourself with other things.
Question: My ex and I were sleeping together after the breakup, and now he wants to try our relationship again. But I think he was also sleeping with someone else. Is that a dealbreaker?
Answer: Of course it is a deal-breaker if someone is promiscuous in the relationship. I also suggest that you don't get back with this person because he will only cheat on you for sure, judging how you two slept even when you were no longer in a relationship.
Question: Whenever I want to study, I can’t focus because my Ex comes to mind. What should I do?
Answer: I suggest that you write down whatever you have studied even how little it is. Writing things down is better and more effective because you focus on what you are writing down than anything else. It will help for you to stop thinking about your ex for some time.
Question: What if you tried all of these tips to forget an ex and they didn't work?
Answer: They will work. But it takes time. You just need to give yourself enough time to move forward. You need to be completely honest with yourself of course. The first step is acceptance, have you truly accepted that it is over? Maybe you are still stuck on the first rule all this time.
Question: When someone leaves you without saying anything and block you from all social media, does that count as breakup? What is the fastest way to ease the pain and try not to expect and hope? How can one prevent depression?
Answer: For some people that might already qualify as a break-up but decent people break-up with a definite closure. Those who just leave without saying goodbye are cowards in my book, and it is not fair to the other person. We all need closure. But then again if you have no choice but to move on, then you have to accept that it is over and start from there. Depression can be avoided when you learn to talk about your feelings and thoughts. Try to surround yourself with good and positive people who will listen and understand what you are going through.
Question: We have been in a relationship for three years and we thought of getting married. Everything was going good and we also have support from our family. Suddenly he started to ignore me and he keeps on saying that he wanted to stay his whole life as a bachelor. After a few days, I found out that he is falling for a receptionist in his gym. What should I do?
Answer: Confront him about it. Ask him about what he feels and if he is still thinking of you and your relationship. If he is still in the stage of crushing on someone, the relationship can still be saved. Maybe you can plan a trip together somewhere just to rekindle the fire. Just the two of you, it might help to bring him back if you two can go out and be romantic again.
Question: I had a girlfriend who I loved, but my mum didn't want me to marry her because of her background. I have tried to move on without her in vain, but she has moved on and now has a new boyfriend. I have tried to forget her, but it has been in vain. How do I forget her?
Answer: I know very well that parents only want what's best for us, but sometimes they become a burden when it comes to love. My stand on this is if you love someone so deeply, you should follow your heart even if that means going against your mother or father. Fighting for someone you love is a miracle, and when you failed to do that, your girl left and rightly so. Time heals all wounds. You will forget about her in time, just focus on yourself and make new memories.
Question: My ex broke up with me because she said she's tired of my behavior. She thinks that I act too childishly, and that I am short minded. Can I be with her again?
Answer: Ask yourself first if you are no longer the same person she broke up with. Are you still childish? Are you no longer short-minded (whatever this means)? But no matter how changed you are, remember that the other person also changed. So getting back with her does not only depend on you, but you also need to ask if she is still willing to take you back. Ultimately, she is still the one who will decide whether to take you back or not.
Question: My ex and I have had a misunderstanding. I asked him to meet up with me, but he says he is not ready. What should I do now?
Answer: It is good that you try to meet up and probably talk and solve the issue but the problem will not be solved if the other party doesn't want to cooperate. Maybe give him some time to process things and give him his space for now. If he still cares for you, he will come around.
Question: I'm falling for someone else, but I still love my ex, what should I do?
Answer: How can you fall for someone and know it and still be in love with your ex? Maybe you are confused about your feelings. It is normal to like two people at the same time, yes, but it is impossible to love them both equally. One of them will always be more important to you, and the other one is more likely just a broken dream you are still trying to hold on to. In order to choose which one, ask yourself, who do you think loves you more? Go with the person who loves you more.
Question: My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago, and I still can't get him out of my head. The reason he dumped me was very inappropriate as we had only been dating for a week. Then he blocked me on all social media. But I still have to meet him at this party, and if I don't go, it would be awkward because it is meant for me. What should I do?
Answer: It is your party so go to your party. If you are the host or the coordinator of your party, then it is up to you to deny him the invitation if you don't want to see him there.
Question: My ex was an alcoholic and used to smoke a lot. He used to hit and insult me, but loved and cared at the same time. Was it love? How do I get over him?
Answer: No, it isn't love if a man hurts you physically and insults you. If you want to get over him, start by not dwelling in the past. Focus on yourself to improve and be a better person. Keep yourself busy with positive things and you will get over him.
Question: My boyfriend is going to marry his relative and he left me. How can I forget him quickly?
Answer: There is no way that you can forget someone fast. It is just impossible. I guess the best way for you now is to accept what happened and slowly build new memories by keeping yourself busy all the time. By the way, I do hope your boyfriend is not committing incest by marrying a relative.
Question: I have two daughters with my ex. He recently left me all because I wanted to see his phone. Every time he would come home from work all we did was fight. He told me that I will always be a big part of his life. He cares about our daughters and me, and he is going to help us out no matter what. But, I still love him. What should I do.?
Answer: First and foremost it was an invasion of his privacy for you to demand to see his phone. My boyfriend and I never share passwords, and we never look at each other's phone. The good thing is, when we are together, I never see him pick up his phone unless he is going to take a picture of me. I never feel insecure or suspicious. I think what you should have done is respect his privacy. He probably felt violated and nagged, that's why he left.
© 2013 Jennifer Gonzales
Rachel Vogel on March 10, 2020:
#9 was very helpful to me. More helpful than anything else I've read or tried to think about so far.
I broke up with my partner of 1 year a few days ago. It hurt very badly but I had to do it. Things were nice for a time and quickly I found myself in a relationship that did not make me happy. My feelings are strong and I am heartbroken, but writing things down like that reaffirmed why I made the decision I did. I thought we were meant to be but we aren't right for each other. I will focus on my goals and life right now, and I know someone who loves me properly will appear in my life before too long.
RickyF1 on February 12, 2020:
I also am so lost, I broke up with my girlfriend 4 months ago.
But she keeps telling me she doesn’t want to lose contact because she as a heart, I have told her I don’t want her pitty, she tells me to text Tells me she misses me but will never go back with me. I love her more than anything would walk over fire for her just don’t know what to do if I stop the messages does that tell her I don’t care?
SamiYad on December 25, 2019:
HI, I am a muslim girl i was in relationship with guy from sikh religion we were together for 3 years and in love i am also single mother with one daughter my bf had to tell his family about our relationship but he was scared and confused how his family gonna accept this relationship. My parents already new but they were also disagree and pressurizing me. My bf always asked me to give him time. I was the one who was always standing beside him support him financially, emotionally and sacrificed everything to keep him happy. He also did some occusionall things like bithday surprise etc. Well , my family was pressurizing me and on the other hand he kept asking me for time. I thought he is not serious and went back home and got engaged. My bf cried for me i also cried when i left. Eventually, he got within one month i left and then he broke engagement. Then , he chooses another girl his family selected. But we were still in contact and seeing each other and till now. i broke up with my fiance because he was not right guy and now its hurting me so badly to see my bf going and get married back home. I begged him but he is not changing decision. I asked him what you did for me in last year even you cant stand ur family but he said u left me first.
Rwema on December 15, 2019:
I kindly need advice, I travel for my work , and when I was out with my friends, I meet a guy and that guy was so cute , we end up going to club together, and after club , we went to the hotel together, after I was thinking that , things are over , but the guy don’t want me to leave , we stay together almost 3 weeks together in same room , he use to tell me that he loves me , and make so many surprise for me , he even ask me to change the flight tickets 2 times ,
And the time to go home , he even took me to the airport, we was kissing all along . And once I reach in my country , the guy was talking to me , but with time he stopped it , and he aluways tell me that he is busy with his work!
I swear I have deep feelings for him , but him , he is ignoring my messages, so, what can I do?!!
I cry every day, every night!
DreeeeLeee on December 04, 2019:
-i jus dont know where to start?! Im lost! But i am fed up! I want out and i just dont know how! I feel so hopeless! Like.... idk what to do.help!
Gina medina on December 02, 2019:
I recently got dumped last month. He told me he wants nothing to do with me but won’t give me closure. Him and I dated for almost 6 years. I’ve tried talking to him but nothing. He is accusing me of stalking him but I don’t have time for that. I have two jobs. He won’t be grown and have a talk with me. Is there another female? Him and I have been on and off and I’ve allowed him to do this over and over again but it’s because I love him. What should I do????
Bolaji455 on November 28, 2019:
I was with my ex for a year plus, we loved each other so much..they located away from my area to another far distance but in the same state, a year after our relationship she told me she has started going to another church of which she found a guy there. Both of them are together now and the guy happens to be the son of the fonder of the church. I just noticed she changed suddenly, no call no text. When I text no reply. I was worried. It's doing me to move on with my life but it's hard for me. I read all the tips to forget my ex but I ain't putting it into practice.. What should I do to forget about her and make her realise she lost a gold already
Kakay dela cruz on August 15, 2019:
Hello. Me and my ex boyfriend broke up 4days ago. He's asking space for himself. He said he will come back to me after fixing himself. He just said he will enjoy being with himself without any rules coming from me. I know he still loves me so much but I abused his kindness to me. Is there any chance that he will come back to me upon fixing himself? I really don't know what to do.
Akash Reddy on July 16, 2019:
I loved my ex so much,but she eloped with another guy,i am unable to forget her betrayal.Iwant to focus on my future and study well and have a good career.But the hangover is such that I am not able to forget the memories with her which deviates me. Please give me advice mam,please help me out
Zzinox on May 04, 2019:
Me i was at my work, and my ex texted me a message she said hey after replying her she said that i have a request i said go on the she told me that lets breakup without a reason. Right now i feel bad but i think the good option is to let her go, i wish i never met her
Norint on April 10, 2019:
I feel like I need her 30% but 70% no ... When I'm whithout ... It seemed like my heart have no space and it's hard to breathe like a room whithout any windows. All I know she often not respecting to her promises to me and it really hurt me ... She becomes a hot blooded girl now ... So she only accept my apologies but when she done sth wrong , she just only say sorry and it kinda a forcing apologize not from her heart ... After this breakup she told my friend that i cheated on her ... I love my ex ... And I have a new one .... I was like WTF. -_-
Srabz on March 21, 2019:
I really need advice...
My ex went in a relation already after one dsy of our breakup so i tried moving on and was almost there but he started reaching out to me in different ways syill i avoided him as much as possible then he suddenly starts calling me up and is like i love you i miss you and all and one day i went to meet him and he even cried for me but he wont even leave his gf either and sometimes he like only talks me to avoiding his gf and sometimes he acts different... I'm really messed up and my heart is just really out of my control...he was my first love and i really loved him alot... I really dont know what to do...
PLEASE TELL ME WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO...?
DAZZWELL Malemo on March 17, 2019:
Well me an my ex we have been dating for a while now,we have been having some shitty miss understanding since December last year all of January it gotten we been fighting daily daily and he is the one who was the genesis of all those arguments,well he told me that this is 2019 and he isn’t getting back with the other girl,that was his 2019 decision but again he wanted us to Ben friends but me I didn’t want that bcz I loved him to death! I tried to fix things but on the 14th of February things worsen and we had a fight since then we haven’t even talked until now.now he is back with the other girl I don’t know.i have been thinking of him all along a day hasn’t passed he is on my mind daily I don’t even go to town bcz I don’t want to see him
If a friend mention his name my heart beats so hard I still love him yes but I don’t want to get back to him I just want to forget about him please I need help.
Zambito on March 09, 2019:
My ex was my first relationship ever (my first love). We dated for about a year until it became too toxic. I broke up with him because he kept trying to have sex with me, and being too touchy. He also started arguments with me every day because he was obsessive and manipulative...so I ended it. I used my brain instead of my heart. But now my heart is still weeping over it.
Since we dated for about a year, he got a new girlfriend on the 20th of January (we dated on the 21st of January) so it was very close dates. I felt replaced and as though he didn't care about what we had. The worst part of it all is that we're neighbors, he's about a ten-second walk away from me. I've been trying to forget him but it's hard. My heart still longs for him but my brain doesn't. He's a horrible guy who doesn't deserve me but my adolescent mind keeps wanting him.
Then his new girlfriend's friend, who is my friend as well, told me something he told his girlfriend. "You're the only girl I wished was my wife," he told the exact same thing to me. I met his entire family (even travelled to New York and Pennsylvania to the family reunion), and yet, this new girlfriend he has only dated for 1/5 of the time we were together, he says the same thing to. It has been bothering me lately and I have no one to express myself to. I'm not depressed, but I have a feeling in my chest that keeps building up whenever I think about it.
I wish we could have one last conversation together to settle things on a better note, but it's hard. I do not want to talk to him but at the same time I do; just to end my feelings for him. We do not stay in contact at all, but knowing he's dismissing the fact we ever dated to his new girlfriend makes me upset.
Can anyone console me?
Patrick dale on March 06, 2019:
Ok so me and my ex have been broken up for about three months now but we been talking to each other all the time since but I stopped contact with her because I found out the first week we broke up she went on a date with some guy and then asked my best freind to have sex but I just now found this all out after 3 months I told her I knew she said she regretted the guy she went on a date with bc she could only think of me and she hated how she asked my friend to have sexual also she said it was an impaulsive move she said, she said in the first week or two I was in a I can do whatever I want state of mind and that’s the reasoning. What do I do, do I keep her cut off?
kkbf on February 23, 2019:
I had been with one guy till 7 and half year. I did love him truely, but he was going to so many girls and did have phy. relations with girls and boys both. He was sexually obsessed. He started cheating me from the begining of relation, however i forgive him all the time. He did have affair with some girl in between and after he had affair i caught him red handed than he deny the affair and he said wrong name of that girl, even how they met was also wrong story. After i get to knw this i have done seceret marrige with him and than i left him alone that i dont want to be with u. Now he was not in contact with taht girl for few months and when i told him i moved on he went back to that girl and did officialy engament. which makes me crazy now that he really think that i would forgive him now and allow him to go with that same girl because of whom we was married and separated. Now i dont undrstand because from 7 and half year he pushed me that i want to do arrange marriage as per my parents wish. than how come he done love amrriage by his parent. his parents was not happy with this girl but they allow him. Nd i told him t o break this engment because i did not want him to go to this girl he can only do arrange marrige. I am confused and angry because he did cheat me like hell and broke my trust for tons of times.
Amari2011 on February 12, 2019:
Me and my boyfriend actually broke up today idk what to do with myself were trying to work things out again
OLUSEGUN from NIGERIA on January 26, 2019:
This is good. Some find it hard to break from the past and through that they continue to injure their love life
Selby on December 28, 2018:
We haven't break up yet but our conservation its too dry , she seems to be in love with someone, she doesnt care about us anymore , she has already told m that our relationship iys boring her due to lack of quality time she used to understand that we are in a long distance relationship but now its tought everytime when we utter , she replies what i utter with cold words i already feel the gap , she always post inlove emojis, songs, she does give m time anymore. When i ask her does she still loves m she replies yes but i dnt c it . Should i continue wit her or i should 4gt bcoz i still love her alot but the relationship its too toxic
Jeorge on December 28, 2018:
That's too helpful, thank you so much
Sheree on December 26, 2018:
This articlw is great. My husband just left me on the day of christmas witout any hesitation. We have a heated argument before christmas day and i left home just to cool down. Whe I cAme back home he is no longer there together with his personal and important things. The saddest and painful part he is the cheating spouse and eventually he is the one who has the guts to leave the house. I literarlly sAw their sex video in his phone when ge cake back home from other country. Im so devastated and ruined. I cant accept the fact that my husband which all I thought a good man. I forgave him and gve him another chNce, beforw christmas I check his messenger and I saw their exhabge message like he wants her to look an aparment for him and he made plans with her. The saddest part he is telling the other woman what he thought of me negatively. I couldnt imagine my husband can talk somwthing like that against me.
I came to a point i have had enough. I hve Asked him a million times what did I do wrong? Am I getting ugly? Why he is no longer intimate with me? Why he hardly hugs and kiss me? I sometimes blame myself why he flight. I was eveb thinking I am the villain in our relationship. For now I am davastated, in pain, torn, broken into pieces, and miserable. I couldnt eAt and I dont have enough sleep. I Our house is so dirty and i forgot to take care my business.
I wanted to fix myself. As of now I am feeling the pain, It’s getting inside my heart, my mind abd eveb my vains. I always woke up from time to time and i always dreamed about him. Hearing him calling me. I don’t know what to do. It’s so difficult to get over him. It’s killing me inside despite kf his infidelity.... i’m dying
JustAnotherSnek on December 19, 2018:
Okay, but I still have to do a thing with him in acting. We'll be spending at least 40 minutes together every Tuesday(and we see each other all day of every week day). Please help.
amelia on December 15, 2018:
hi, i need your help
John Benson Snr on December 09, 2018:
Guys: Eat and drink all the best/healthiest foods/wines etc, do lots of sports/physical exercise often, look after your body/health, take holidays where you'll likely meet someone else, consign all photos/messages to a file that you don't look at until you have some one new and you're truly happy with them, block all posts/unfriend on social media, spend time looking after yourself, family and friends. Forget your ex -she's not coming back! If your ex messages be polite but brief, then simply tell her you don't want to be friends because it's over, you're breaking contact.
ioio on December 02, 2018:
my ex dumped me but we have friends in common. they don't want to choose one side. personally I find a awkward situation but I don't want to be the one losing them. I am already the victim since he dumped me and now to loose also friends because of him?
Imane on November 22, 2018:
Your advices help me so much
To move on and forget my ex forever and turn new page.
Invisible love on November 13, 2018:
Sometyms you love the person whom u cannot be with and it becomes really hard to be physically present for love...in case of obsession from opposite its better to leave for self integrity n respect
nimisha on November 13, 2018:
I just want to get over this as soon as possible
this heart break really hurts
Susmita on November 11, 2018:
Thanks a lot....it will help me a lot
Dahdah on November 10, 2018:
What should I do when my ex text me and say I love you I been miss you even those he was not or don’t love me I mean he doesn’t love me but he keeps say that he loves me what should I do
Brook on November 07, 2018:
Angel on November 06, 2018:
Thanks for this. Im trying to help out a friend of mine.
Viola on November 05, 2018:
Hello, so seeing my ex move on with a girl that use to be my closest friend hurts. All he does it say how she’s so hot but he says he cares about me ?
(Because we are still friends) and I don’t know what to do with this because every time I see him it brings back memories that I wish I never gave up on
Viola on November 05, 2018:
I broke up with my ex because he was doing drugs and bad stuff that I didn’t like. I still liked him SO MUCH but could bare seeing him do that type of stuff.
He’s moved on with a girl that was my best friend (not anymore) , Him an I are friends but it kills me to see him move on and be happy when that couldve been with me ;( I’m not sure if I still like him but the more I see him the more feelings I get . Please help me . Anything will do .
Roman on November 04, 2018:
But if you have kids together and you keep on thinking about the great memories we all had in the past.Especially when seeing pictures.
meh on October 30, 2018:
just go for 2D girl waifu and everything is fixed. works for me
Tasha on October 29, 2018:
I want to get back with my ex and we both have partners still we can't forget each other and it's hurting us a lot and we love each other strongly what should we do?
Unknown on October 28, 2018:
She is my best friend,yes I'm friend zoned and now I want to get out of it. Even I know I can't just forget the moments and these daily calls but for me. I have to get out of friends one. Help someone
mishcadee on October 27, 2018:
I cant get him out of my head I think about him all the time. when someone asks how am i ? i just start to cry I want him so much it hurts.
A woman told me last week she has been in love with him for a year and she saw him with someone else last week he is sleeping with.
He was supposed to come home with me after the party but that woman told him she was worried her car was overheating so she needed him to go with her...
alison on October 27, 2018:
I left it with my ex a year ago, and we ended it well, because we prefer to be well as friends who constantly talk as a couple. The fact is that three days later, he rolled up with another girl, and after a week they began a relationship. I have had other boyfriends during this year and I've really detached my ex from my life and social networks. But I do not get it out of my head, I associate things that have no relationship with him to him because they have some detail detail that reminds me. In addition to when we send messages to see how everything goes, and it's still a super important person for me, but still with her girlfriend (the same as when we finished the relationship). and I can not understand why it keeps talking to me if he in theory is happy with another person. I think I am in love with him, what should I do?
Juveria on October 19, 2018:
I’m the girl who had never aver forget him or no one can make me to forget him becoz that my love is with me we broke up but we still stay in one place at one home he’s my cuzen I woke up and and look at him I eat with I go with him I don’t talk him lot but I stay in one home I have to becoz My family is big that’s why we stay togther now pls tell me to what to do I did all this things to forget him but again next morning I look at him and again all that come Infront off me
minister solo on October 05, 2018:
it has really taught me something as a counselor that i can also use to
advice others who are also in the same problem
Lameen on October 04, 2018:
My boyfriend broke up with me,about 3weeks ago,he still comes to visit me at night he told me he doesn't want to lose me and that he still loves me,but also he doesn't want to be in a relationship,what should I do I don't want to get hurt again and I don't want to be rude cause I also still love him.
Elsa on September 09, 2018:
i cant get my first bf out of my life i still love him.i break up because he cheated on me with one girl for over two years when i found out i faced him and told him it was over.but i still feel for him i saw him at a friend's party yesterday all he had to say was that he wants us back together that he still loves me.all i want is to forget him because i have a strong feeling that all he is saying are lies .i just want to move on with my life but am unable i dnt know why please help me.
dj on September 08, 2018:
my girl friend always remember her ex in our conversation
Rauf abiola on September 04, 2018:
I always panic if i dont call her number.she always shout on me on her phone but my heart can not rest. What can i do about the panic of not calling her ?
Shreya on September 01, 2018:
How can i forget my ex when were in the same class...its really hard
Angel on August 24, 2018:
What if It was my fault but really I such need sometime but she got someone else can I use try it 5 years with really my first time tacking a relationship serious idk I n3d help idk what to do
Esther on August 17, 2018:
I can't forget my first bf for almost a year now that we broke up, I still can't let go off the feelings I have for him. please I need advice, and anytime I play love songs I just remember him and I love playing love songs
Josh Bailey 23 on August 12, 2018:
so im still in love with my ex but its hard to forget about her because every song i listen to reminds me of her when ever i see her i just want to go up to her and tell her how i feel but i know she doesnt want to see me so what do i do :(
merhawi on July 24, 2018:
I was totally in love with her. I gave my whole heart . she was also in love with me. she made something that is really annoying . and now I want to forget her ? it became so hard to do that. I cry sometimes. what should I do?
Jennifer Gonzales (author) from The Hague, Netherlands on July 18, 2018:
The best way to deal with your struggle is to not have any expectations at all. Try to keep in your mind that people are different yet we all tend to have some general qualities in each other. Ty to be more open-minded and don't anticipate any thing regarding how it will turn out when you meet people. Don't compare them to your ex as well. If you make friends, do it for the sake of friendship and not because you are looking for someone you can be in a relationship with. That way, if you genuinely want to have a friend, you can be yourself easily and you don't have to think about other things. Just enjoy the friendship and if it leads to romance, then there you go. Clearly you are not ready for a relationship so don't force it otherwise nothing will go right for you. Hope it helps. Best of luck.
Mindisachaous on July 16, 2018:
I would like to share my side. I have come to a stage i tried to move on from my ex. i tried by making new friends especially male friends. However, it doesnt last long for me as i realise they too have the particular traits that my exes have. Everytime i give chance to myself , i end up getting hurt again, again and again. Its so difficult to be happy not strong all the time. I just dont know what is going wrong entirely on my side. Whenever i have this mental tormentation, i decide to hurt myself but eventually i will try divert my mind out of this. Its so difficult to meet new people nor make nw relationships.
Vanessa on July 16, 2018:
we couldn't pass any minutes without talking things were good then because he was living far it was not easy for him he works until weekends then he promised me to come to visit one weekend he didn't he said he went With his friends I felt so bad and I started texting him bad messages but I said sorry to him we started not understanding each other stopped visiting me telling me that I live far I used to hear so many telling me that he is not serious I started having insecurities there is another person also who told me about him he is with another lady (his girlfriend) I felt so bad I texted him very bad message telling him that it's over that we will never talk again I cried so much I blocked him unblocking him since then deleting his pictures again bring them back I really loved him so much but after he told me that he stopped liking me but when I ask him if he lied to me back then he told me he liked me so much and he told that he changed now they are happy and the family know knows his girlfriend he posts her now the thing is after breaking up with him another guy came along he started loving me I even told him I like another guy he went after me then I said let me move on with this guy we started the relationship but still I couldn't forget my Ex boyfriEnd who we recently used to talk and he Sven knows that I still love him so much but him he said he is in another relationship he can't help it and me too I don't know what to do it has been a year this guy loves me and he plans to marry me in the future I don't know what and I can't break with this because he can be Very and very hurt and i know I will never get another guy like hiM I wonder will this guy ever see that I was immature to listen to people and I have change can he ever come after sometime. Can I move on completely or I give him time to see that he lost me or what can I do to forget this guy forever and start loving my boyfriend with all my heart Who seems to never love another girl other than me and I'm his first love i am really confused and it hurts help please and I would ask if it is possible not to share this thank you I will appreciate it since no one helped me .. Can you help me?
Tony on July 12, 2018:
I have loved and been with this guy for over a year. We both stay in the university campus and I knew all he’s friends including he’s female friends. I ended up ending things with him because he had a going out problem but in less than three weeks I found out he was actually in a relationship all along with one of the girls I had thought were his “female friends” and they had been together for about 3years I feel so dumb and numb! The worst part is that he keeps telling me not to believe what other people say and I’m so shy I’m not even the type to go and ask the girl! Please help me I don’t know what to do
shuklasunny on July 08, 2018:
Me and my girlfriend were in relationship since last 1.5 years as we worked for same company . We used to spent almost all time to gather and had a very good understanding and compatibility/. we both want too marry as we were mature enough and earning good too.
But i put marriage proposal to my parents they denied as my girlfriend belongs to different religion. I tried to convinced them but nothing worked out.
i told the same to my girlfriend and asked her to be my friend at least but she said that she loved me that's why she can not be my friend.
we cried a alot and very next day she blocked me on fb, whatsapp, linkedin, instagram everywhere. Every single day i miss her and used to cry . As we do have common friends , i got to know that she too use to cry for me .
situation is same for for both of us . we didn't meet since last 2 months but missing each other badly .
Her family is ready but i belong to very conservative family where love marriage it self is not allowed and my case is love + intercast.
We both are mature and working in MNC and earning good as well ,
Suggest please , what should i do as she can not be my friend and my parents are also not agreeing for this.
Harshita on July 08, 2018:
A month ago i had break up wiTh him later on 3-4 days back he approached me .. Called me up. He was trying on me again .. Saying i love you .. Though i didn't respond at that time but the next day i met him and we had moment this thing happened to me again here i accept that it was my mistake .. And gain he is in my mind each and every moves are disturbing me. And now when again he got satisfy by his need he is back to his ignorance level .. Saying sorry i shouldnt have do that .. Umn it was mistake we met so now bye. Now i am again under that sort of phase that i was facing when we first had one i am drowning this is eating me inside just feel like kill him then and there. I feel like torturing him and stuff .. Jut guide me what to do .. I really feel like killing myself now after attempting such a big mistake
Thabitha on June 30, 2018:
I so greatfull Jennifer for all this tips ....they are helpful
Elizabeth on June 25, 2018:
Tnx Jennifer i will do the same
Shahid on June 24, 2018:
Dear Muslim friend try to Read quran n spend time performing salah everything will be alright
Rooshan on June 16, 2018:
hafsa musa on June 15, 2018:
i want to break up!!but love is a poison it breaks our heart...i feel part of me is not with me specially my heart i neeeeeeeeed my heart back.
Jennifer Gonzales (author) from The Hague, Netherlands on June 03, 2018:
Very well said...
Mikae Yagi on June 01, 2018:
I think it makes a huge difference how you break up with someone. I just broke up with my ex-BF (actually dumped....) but we ended peacefully. We even said that we are going to keep in touch. However, I went ahead and blocked his numbers right after. I will delete all of our text messages and will also delete him from my contact list. I do not hate him, although he had not been very fair to me. I forgave him because that's what makes me feel better of myself. Now, I am planning to have new things to do, new places to go, etc. In the end, I can't control how he feels about me, but I can control how I feel about myself.
Jennifer Gonzales (author) from The Hague, Netherlands on May 25, 2018:
Sometimes, Ethan, when we are caught up in our own happiness, we tend to overlook other's people's misery even if they are important to us. Don't blame yourself too much for your ex's unhappiness. It is her responsibility to tell you and be open with you about how she feels because that is what a mature person should do. I sometimes have depressive phases but very mild ones and that is because I am living in a different country with my boyfriend where people speak a different language and so there are times when I feel alone and lonely. But i always tell my boyfriend that. I am always open about what I feel and in so doing, we can both talk about it and find some solution to my problems...And it always work out. There's just nothing to gain if you pretend to be happy all the time...
Ethan on May 25, 2018:
I broke up with my ex gf cuz I knew what we had was unhealthy, but the memories wont stop and they are making me fall apart, ive had pleanty of gf's in my time but something about her was different, I was actually in love, i gave her my life, I moved in with her in a different city and restarted my life, I was so happy but I found out the hard way she wasnt happy, she told me she loved me that day and went off and I slept all day waking up to my mom calling me saying my gf was texting her saying she wanted me out and she was unhappy, she was scared to show me any sign that she was unhappy cuz she was worried on how I would react, she knew ive literally lost everything close to me and she was all i had, i just wish I would of noticed her being unhappy gradually instead of it all hitting me in one day, i always told her to only tell me she loved me if she meant it and she did say she did but then I found out it was a lie, I loved her so much and almost everything reminds me of her, I cant escape my memories and they are haunting me 24/7, im scared of what I'm going to end up doing, cuz i know im at my breaking point and im getting ready to snap, Idk if it will be on me or someone else, so much shit has happened, im done starting over, every memory from every person ive lost from bs is in the front of my mind and idk how to change that, ive tryed every method known to man. Nothings working, sometimes its just not meant to be for some people and nothing anyone can say can change how i feel, no words, no actions, my past will haunt me till the day I die and hopefully that will be soon...cuz trying is too hard
Ashi on May 16, 2018:
I broked with my ex 2 months ago but i want him back i just messaged him 3 days ago nd he blocked me even he said to my friend to tell me to stay away from him and to message anymore..i am just helpless ..now i wont to forget him.. i know i deserve more better than this ..as he cheated me before also nd it took 3 years to forget him nd aftr some time (4years ) he said he truly loves me somewhere i still loved him so i trusted him again .nd now again am alone with my feelings ..i just want to get over him and make him realize what he has lost..nd somewhere i still want answer "if he ever loved me ? Whtevr he said was that true? Or all it was a lie?" I want to scream i want to cry hard but cant .. please help
uknown on May 14, 2018:
i just break up with my gf because of difference religious. i feel really shit right now.
marwan on May 13, 2018:
thanks for sharing i will tray those thing i think about her all time i can t stop it she is gong to get maried
salma on May 08, 2018:
he is my classmate so thats really hard for me
claimel piastro on May 07, 2018:
it helps me a lot .thank you .
Erika on May 05, 2018:
i'm broken, please help.
Shy on May 03, 2018:
My boyfriend is mean to me after I cheated on him 3 times he calls me a retard and he just moved out with his friend we were together 3 years and our anniversary is may 12 th what should I do
Megan on May 02, 2018:
Me and my ex are still pretty friendly, and i am possibly falling for him again, i don't want to as i really really like another guy- who is caring, honest and kind! Btw i broke up with the guy, so i feel bad if i go back, i feel like my friends and family will judge me! But he's the only person i rely on recently and all of a sudden he's not bothering with me! And i don't know what to do because again i may have possibly fallen for him??? HELP?!?!?!?
Luis Leonardo on April 27, 2018:
Wow....this was the most reliable source so far...I’m glad I found this because is hard to live with this pain day in day out....things won’t be the same but our breakup was a choice made by according to her, GOD ..and I just got to accept that she’s not coming back....I want to move on but I still believe deep deep inside of me, a chance to make things right...thanks for the tips I’ll defintely use these tips to be a better me, my past is a dark one and I don’t want to go back....thank you for the help
ENM on April 22, 2018:
Hi i still love my ex your all right. I will move on now that i know how.
Richard S on April 22, 2018:
Shortly after my Ex broke my heart after another attempt to get her back, someone even better has entered my life. To make the long story short we are now engaged and she has helped me get over my Ex. My Ex has found out and appears to regret her decision to dumping me. Definitely don’t want her back.
Michelle Anderson on April 20, 2018:
Thank you for this advice to moving on my Ex.
chomu on April 18, 2018:
my ex-was always lied to me. he said to me that I don't respect him. he was very narrow. he never showed me his originality being in a relationship. he is too clever also.due to his lies I always got anger.I and my ex-are in the same batch. I used to see him every day. moreover, we don't talk to each other anymore since 8 months.he never put his ego aside in relationship. I always try to remain happy but from inside i am too much broken. how could I forget him?
Manogi on April 14, 2018:
luke on April 12, 2018:
its been 3yrs since we broke up and we have our son so we keep on communicating just to sure our little boy dont feel empty or lack of family .. but until now im still suffering . dont know why. yes im mad coz she left me in times of trials to our relationship . but i miss evrything . i dont know if its hope that we might fix it . i dont know . i just dont know . im showing evry one around me that im ok . but srsly im not..for 3yrs im not ok .
Thabi on April 08, 2018:
Wow I truly needed this , I've been in a relationship for 8 year and the guy decided to cheat on me n leave me ,,, it so painful cause he lied to me ,,now m failing to move on, I dnt knw wat to do I feel like all the guys r the same
Madeleine on April 07, 2018:
Even more motivated in getting over my ex! The love I have for him he does not deserve it. Thank you!
abdihakim breezy mc'grath on March 27, 2018:
thank you for this ..
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Sanika on March 13, 2018:
Thank you. Thank you very much. It is help full for me to forget my ex forever.
MELISSA on March 09, 2018:
THANK YOU,I HOPE I WILL BE ABLE TO DO IT
Alexa Veronica on March 08, 2018:
Thank you, you have no idea how you have helped me. Thank you very much.
lingani on March 03, 2018:
gladis on February 21, 2018:
well thank you. i think i can over my ex and i will try to move on and thank u very much
emma on February 20, 2018:
Thanks so much. I was really upset before cax the feelings just flood in. When I started copying ur words on a paper, ur words are healing and my heart received all. I will wait until my tears drain and hope well to my future.
priceless on February 17, 2018:
not that easy,but one has to move on...
Sunil Gaur on February 15, 2018:
I will try to follow your instruction but i am not sure how will i do it. it is very painful to forget our special one.....
Emmy on February 08, 2018:
Thanks for a nice article I'll try my best to move on in my ex
Jennifer Gonzales (author) from The Hague, Netherlands on February 07, 2018:
I think the reason why it didn't help is because when you read it, your mind is just closed. this article would only wok for you if you feel that you are ready to accept that the relationship has ended..if you are not there yet, then of course nothing will work for you...
chris on February 03, 2018:
this article did'nt help at all thanks for nothing
Mk on February 01, 2018:
hi! thanks for this article I hope it would help me.
DARSHAINY on January 29, 2018:
I'm feel better now.thank you so much
Maria of phillipines on January 27, 2018:
Thank you for sharing reading your article as if u are talking to me ryt infront of me..
while reading this i am coz u really hit me,
thank you coz you open my eyes that i had to free my heart from pain
i know he doesnt deserve me coz he cheat always and i do realise i need to wake up that idont need to hang on to our memories and the possibility og having him back in my life
thanks for this article its a huge help for me God bless you
i know there is lot more people who are in my situation
thanks a lot
I made a mistake on January 22, 2018:
I made a mistake and that caused me losing the love of my life, no I didn't cheat I decided to listen to my friends instead of my heart. I heard rumors and I believed them without talking to him about it and to be honest, this might be the biggest mistake of my life because now I don't have him with me and that sucks and I still love him but he deserves better not someone like me that could doubt him at any moment when he's telling the truth. I love him and that's why I have to let him go. I have my insecurities, yes and I had a lot of people betray me in the past which isn't an excuse for my behavior and why I should doubt him. I learned the hard way and if I have a relationship in my future I will make sure I don't make the same mistake twice. learn from me and trust your partner, talk to him/she about and don't make my mistake because it will hurt.