Advice ColumnBreakupsCompatibilityDatingFriendshipGender and SexualityLovePhysical IntimacyRelationship ProblemsRelationshipsSingle LifeSocial Skills & Etiquette

10 Most Effective Tips to Forget an Ex

Updated on October 28, 2016
purpleshadow13 profile image

Jenny is a girl who loves many things. She loves street foods, traveling, nature, music, cats and dogs! She's crazy about purple & writing!

Forgetting Your Ex-Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Every failed relationship is painful. It hurts us in a way no physical wounds can...

I, too was heartbroken. I was so mad at myself for being such a fool and I almost hated the world for being so unfair. I wanted to slap just anybody, and wanted to be alone for a while (thank goodness I have no suicidal tendencies). I was emotionally tortured that time. I was crying while at work. And every time I hear the sound of some familiar love songs I can't help but cry my heart out. I wanted to move on. I wanted to forget him as soon as I can (if only it can happen the next morning when I wake up) but I couldn't. Everywhere I looked, I saw him...there's just too many memories and I thought i would go crazy trying to avoid them. That's when I've realized that it's not enough to just want to move on...I have to do something about it and fortunately I was successful! Let me share with you the things I did and I'm pretty sure it will help you too.

1. Accept What Happened but Don't Dwell on it

It is normal to be upset, mad and hurt after break-ups especially if it's a third party issue. And you'd probably be mad for a long time. But if you stay mad you'd only stress yourself and you'd only make your world smaller. You have to accept that the relationship is over and don't even try to pick up the pieces because you'd only hurt yourself. Acceptance is the first step to moving on and getting over that stupid ex, so its time for you to make that first step. Once you've accepted it, don't dwell on it. Don't over-think and over-analyze things. Don't dwell on the "what'ifs or what might have beens" in the relationship. It's fruitless. Believe me, I've tried and it only made me feel worse than I have ever been.

You can choose to avoid thinking about him or her and causing yourself suffering. It’s not easy, but you can do it.

A good way to think is by journaling about your feelings. It doesn't have to be the best writing or even good writing at all. Just get it all out there. Imagine that as you write them down, the bad feelings and thoughts are leaving your body and sticking to the paper.

2. Let Go

The rule of every relationship is never ever be clingy. You have to learn to let go. I know it's not easy. Letting go is actually the most crucial and the most difficult phase of every relationship. There's just too many memories and forgetting these memories feels like an impossibility. Well, who wouldn't find it hard to let go? You have invested so much time, money effort and tears to make the relationship work out only to lose it in just a moment. Of course it's hard to let go! Who am I kidding? However, you also have to think of yourself honey. You ought to respect and value yourself more than anyone and being clingy indicates that your self value is way below the line. Do not cling to someone who doesn't see your true value. It's just not going to work.

3. Go Outside and Be Active

I understand that you want to be alone and I respect that. Everyone deserves some alone time with themselves and I'm not going to deny you that opportunity. When you are alone, you can think things through but don't overdo it.

Do not stay indoors for long. Go out. Enjoy the outdoors. Socialize with your friends. This will give you less time to think about your ex. Bask in the sun or go some place else with your family members. This will definitely give you a better view of the world you once lived in...the world without your stupid ex...Don't forget that you once lived without him/her so it won't definitely ruin your life now that you are back to where you once were... your life isn't over now that they're gone.

In addition, exercising, sunlight, and fresh air will help you become healthier which will make your body feel good. Soon enough, your heart will start feeling better too.

4. Don't Look Back or Imagine "What If . . ."

Once the relationship is broken, it will never be the same again no matter how hard you try to piece it back together. There is a reason why the relationship didn't work, and it's rare that the relationship works the second time around.

If the deal breaker was unrelated to the couple (like a job or just a minor misunderstanding), it's possible things might work out if the situation changes. But if you broke up because of individual differences or cheating, hon, you should think twice before getting involved with the same person again.

You need to look within yourself and be honest. If you think you can still trust the person wholeheartedly then go for it. But you have to be careful. Seriously—if he cheated on you once he’ll cheat on you again, that's for sure! What I'm trying to say is, it's better if you don't look back. Less conflict, worry-free and new possibilities for love and better life. Science have proven that once a cheater is always a cheater so do yourself some favor and look for someone else who would see your true value...

What I'm trying to say is, it's better if you don't look back. You will have less inner conflict, fewer worries, and more possibilities for love and a better life.


5. Make New Memories

To get your ex out of your system, you have to create new memories. If you visited some places together in the past, you need to go to a new spot that you’ve never been before. Better yet, go to somewhere you went together but this time do it with your loved ones and friends. Eat foods you’ve never tasted before. Try a different sport.

Do something you never thought you’d do like bungee jumping, skydiving, ziplining, rock climbing, or anything else! If you create new memories, you will have a better chance at forgetting your ex, and in the process, you'll discover many more things that you are capable of, things you never thought you could do.

If someone cheated while on the relationship, does he/she deserves another chance?

See results

6. Improve Yourself

You’re single. This is the best time for you to focus on you. Now, your money and time is all yours to take. Don't feel guilty about spending it.

Go to a spa and get pampered. Buy a new set of clothes, shoes, and makeup. Give yourself a makeover as the strong, independent woman you are. Enroll in a culinary course and learn something new. Indulge in worthwhile activities like yoga, swimming, biking, and the arts.

As you improve yourself, you’ll build the self-confidence that was marred by your previous relationship. Being confident in yourself gives you a certain balance. It makes you feel good about yourself, and that's very attractive.

It also helps to have a role model or mentor, someone who you admire as a person. This could be someone who's also gone through a breakup and can give you some guidance as you're dealing with your feelings. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

7. Avoid Contact With Your Ex as Much as Possible

Your ex might still want to contact you even after breakup. If this happens, it will certainly make it harder for you to forget him. Be respectful but mindful of your needs. You can change your number (or block his), and delete his number from your contact list. If you memorized his number, you will really have to discipline yourself and do your best not to contact him.

Try to memorize other important phone numbers. Keep busy so you won't even have time to think of contacting him. In time, you'll be surprised that you don't remember his phone number anymore.

Unfollow him or block him on all your social media accounts, and delete all your old messages and emails so you don’t spend any time going through them. Make a new email address to make it even more effective. The urge to contact him will wane little by little until you don’t remember him at all.

8. Make Lifestyle Changes

Make a list of all the things you want to do with your life. What are the things that you could never do together? Did he hate boating because he got seasick? Go on a cruise. Did he always roll his eyes when you wanted to go dancing? Take a dance class!

Clean your room and throw away all the things that you associate with your ex like photo albums, gifts he gave you, old rotten flowers he gave you that you're still keeping as souvenirs, letters and birthday cards. If you have posters or pictures drawn on the wall with him, repaint your walls and redecorate your bedroom.

These are not easy things to do. But you have to move on, and removing these things as a memento of your previous relationship will help you forget him faster and for good. Challenge yourself to be strong and you'll be surprised at how easy and how fulfilling it can be if you're successful.

9. See the Good in Yourself

Nothing is impossible if you are determined to really move on, but you have to help yourself. Make a list of all the bad qualities of your ex, the things you couldn’t stand about him or her. List all the reasons why you shouldn't get back together.

Then enumerate all of your good qualities, those qualities that make you special and worth a second shot in love. Make a list of your 100 best qualities. Don’t stop until you reach 100! Having these things written down will help you convince yourself that you’ve made the right decision.

10. Love Again

This is the ultimate way to get over your ex. Even though your past relationship didn't work, it shouldn't stop you from loving again. Try not to close your heart to a new possibility of a love that is better, bolder, and greater than the previous one. Smile and be hopeful. There is someone who is right for you, someone who will be thankful to have you, someone who will treasure and respect you more than anyone else.

You will find a new love that will make you grow more mature and inspired in your everyday life. And who knows, the next person could even be the one you decide to spend the rest of your life with.

That's it folks. That’s my advice. If I was able to get over my ex, I am sure that you will too. Even though it feels like it, it is not the end of the world. There is still someone out there waiting for you who will find you no matter what.

Be thankful and learn from your past and use that to become a better and more lovable person. Realize that there are different kinds of people that we are meant to meet in life. Some of them are just passing by to give us lessons, some will make us stronger, some are meant to show us what real world is like and there are some who will stay with us forever.

Love yourself more and you'll see that new love is coming along soon enough.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • 2 years ago

      Thank you soo much.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      you're welcome :)

    • shiqs 2 years ago

      I really love this article of yours. Thank you.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear purpleshadow13,

      Wow! Great hub. Great writing. Very talented. I loved it and wish I had this hub a ways back when a few girls and I parted ways. Anyway. I voted up and away. You are terrific.

      I invite you to check out a hub or two of mine and then become a follower of mine.

      I would love that.

      Your friend, Kenneth/ from northwest Alabama

    • Nabil Ansari profile image

      Nabil Ansari 2 years ago from Mumbai, India

      Loved this hub, because I followed the same things during my breakup. I never read this hub at that time, but after reading this now, it assured me that it was the best way that I've dealt with the situation.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      I'm glad to hear that you've moved on...I'm happy for you...:)

    • angel 2 years ago

      Really thanks a lot its very helpful & all the best for ur future ahead may God bless u take care its very nice wen u get an advice or inspiration thto guide & support u

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      i'm glad that i was able to help angel...anytime...and i wish you have a blessed years ahead of you too...thanks:)

    • Medi 2 years ago

      Thank you, I feel much better after reading it:)

    • rahul 2 years ago

      I satisfied by ur answer


    • shehla 2 years ago

      thx for the share

    • mathira profile image

      mathira 2 years ago from chennai

      You have given effective tips for a problem most youngsters face today. A must read for people who have failed relationship.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      Honey, moving on is never easy...may mga times na parang gusto mo pa din syang i-contact and that is pretty normal...However, if you really want to move on you have to accept that there is nothing more left in the relationship that you once had...When you learn to accept, somehow it becomes easier because you dwell on the reality...Be strong i know you are....and you will be able to overcome it for sure...may darating din na much better for you...I swear...

    • sheila 2 years ago

      Does deleting him from social media really help..

    • titanium 2 years ago

      Thank you so much! This is just what i needed to read. I am going through a horrible post break up. I am so broken now, but I've been so strong, and have not contacted him. Your words have reminded me to be strong and leave the stupid ex boyfriend alone. You are an angel.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      yes...blocking him from your social media accounts can be a great help..that way he cannot see you and you cannot see him...sometimes seeing him on the homepage of your social media account and hearing updates about him makes it more difficult to move on..what's worse is you might even see a picture of him that you wouldn't want to it is better to remove and block takes willingness and determination to be able to stand for your decision but good luck is your choice...

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hi Titanium i am really glad to be of help...i know you are a strong woman and very disciplined at be able to control yourself from contacting him is really a huge leap to moving forward my friend...i know it is difficult but i am sure you will carry on...focus on yourself and show him what he'd lost...more power to you and keep smiling!

    • suman 2 years ago

      nice pics its really helps

    • shagun khanna 2 years ago


      . U write so truly and ur article is nt only an article for me..its my hope to survive.. to get my self respect back...thanku so much

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      Thank you too Shagun...I am sure you will get your self-respect back and not only that, you will definitely be able to move forward...

    • brokenheartedgal 2 years ago

      I'm so impressed with the tips you have given us. It inspired me to move on although now it has been 7 months after our break-up. I hope that I will be able to forget him eventually. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      Thank you brokenheartedgal...I am certain that you will be able to move on...I was able to do it even if it took me more than a year...And you will too...Just keep an open mind and always look to the future...Goodluck and More Power to us...:)

    • John 2 years ago

      Thank you for such great post and i hope to be able to stick by them. I walked off my relationship few months ago with this lady i have dated for 3 years which nearly ended in marriage. It was a serious commitment both families knew but in the course noticed she was cheating on me with not only age mate but married men and sending her nude pictures. I forgave her but things weren't improving, she always tries to outsmart me. She finally became pregnant and after delivery the baby wasn't mind. the most hurting part of all, such a betrayal. I therefore walked off and deleted all contacts and connections with her. I have every detail of her in memory and just want to forget about her. I am sometimes tempted to call her. I stalk her sometimes and want to stop. I realized In just three months after her delivery, she is dating another guy. does this make sense? So much in pain..

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hi John, that was indeed a very difficult and painful experience. It shows that you really loved her. It is okay to forgive her and hope for the better but when you know that it's not worth a second chance anymore, then never try to do it again. Making a mistake once or twice still deserve a second chance in my opinion but in case of your ex, she seems very 'addicted' to the act and i personally think she is not someone to be trusted. I tell you this...move on and forget about her. You deserve someone who can see you as a person and treats you like one. I know it is not easy and 3 years is still a long time...but if you want to move on you have to stop stalking her and NEVER call her again. Good luck to you John and more Power...

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hi Petra, The fact that your ex wasn't able to explain everything clearly to you means that he is hiding something. If he truly cares about you, he would gladly show you to other people and he will prioritize you even when he has a visitor...except if the visitor was his ex and not just a friend's ex gf...I don't see the point of him relocating in the neighborhood because he didn't want people to see that you two are in a relationship. That clearly means that he is not proud to show you around people and is a clear sign that he is not being honest and truthful to you. What i say now is, do not ever give him a chance to get back with you again...I know you loved him so much but a man who has lied to you multiple times is not a man who can honestly love you. Move on and i am sure you will. He doesn't deserve you. period. Don't look back and move forward with your life...I know you can do that...You are a smart and brave woman in my opinion...Goodluck!

    • angelic mae 2 years ago

      Hi!thank you for the tips.Just got hurt by someone i loved so much.and i just couldn't forget him.We had issues about him having a third party.And so I gave him another chance.we continued our relationship and my friend told me that he had aother girl and they're dating for about 1week and he didn't told i decided to go to your page and it was a great tips i forgot him .:)

    • humzah profile image

      Humzah Muzaffar Raja 2 years ago from Lahore, Pakistan

      While I agree with most of what you've said, I think its also important to forgive your ex and only communicate if he/she does so first. Forgiveness was what empowered and enabled me to do so when my exes broke up with me and it's also a sign that you've accepted what's happened and are ready to take on anything that comes your way.

    • Steve1547 profile image

      Steve1547 2 years ago from Zaporozhye, Ukraine

      I think that the most effective way to forget about the ex is to find someone else. I've been dating a girl from for a couple of years, but after we broke up I was crashed... But imagine I met a girl who lived just a few houses away from me and now we are happy.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      When you have truly moved on, forgiveness will come naturally to you because your past won't matter anymore. You can never say you have moved on if you still hold a grudge towards your ex. I agree with you on the forgiveness thing but i think you shouldn't wait for your ex to contact you...what if she didn't? I think if you have forgiven her truly and if you have moved on completely, you will have the courage to face your ex without anymore negative feelings. because then, you can be truly happy.

    • Banex 2 years ago

      it is very interesting, im still with " the bf " but I want to try to doit while im still with him, i mean we don't see each other much and the relationship i know for sure the its coming to the end, i love him very much and i had told him the if he want to broke up and he doesn't want it, what do you think the i should do purpleshadow13?

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hi Banex. I think i have no right to decide about your relationship. However, if your boyfriend still believes in what you have, if he doesn't want to break-up with you, then i suggest you talk about it sincerely. If you still love your boyfriend then i don't see any reason why you cannot work it out. Goodluck and i hope for your happiness.!

    • humzah profile image

      Humzah Muzaffar Raja 2 years ago from Lahore, Pakistan

      Banex, while I agree with purpleshadow13 about others not having the right to decide on your relationship, I WILL say this: when I was dating a guy (yes, you read that right) he and I were facing similar problems. We only dated two months and I felt he didn't want to continue dating. Though I asked about breaking up he said he didn't want to do so. After 2 weeks he admitted that he wanted to break up and that he initially wanted to try to "feel more" for me. You don't TRY to FEEL for someone. You either do or you don't. Now, I wish that I'd broken up with him and saved myself the heartbreak. Go with your feelings and break up with him but if you feel that there's something there, still, then, don't :) I hope this helps.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 23 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      I am glad to be of help even in little ways rose ann...Thank you as well. I hope you find the right man for you soon...:)

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 22 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Why Sam? Do you think your world will come to an end when you are heartbroken? If you think that you can never love again, that means you will never move on...And i think you are a coward because moving on is only for the brave and strong...

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 22 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      I am happy to be of help...:) You can do it Best Catherine...:)

    • The Idea profile image

      Aneesh Nair 22 months ago from Mumbai

      I am 23 and I had only one girl friend throughout my life. Ironically she never admitted that she loved me but hinted by saying 'understand my feelings'. While we were in a relation, her ex came back to her life and she started dating him behind my back. Eventually I had to find it and we broke up. Half a year gone, she texted on my b'day and we started to talk again forgetting everything that happened. After 5 months or so, I came to know that she was dating some other guy, when I found out, she again clearly said 'I never said I love you'. Stupid me! I shouldn't have gone back to her. But I never understood that if she didn't love me why she was behaving as a girlfriend. Maybe I was a just being a boytoy there. I decided never to never go back to her. Again half a year gone, I came to know with the help of mutual friends that she went through a break up so forgiving everything she did I went to console her and there again started a broken relation. But this time I knew I am going to be used for sometime until she finds a better person but I didn't mind to get hurt because this would be the last time I am going to be with my first love. Four months later, Deja Vu, she got committed with a guy of her own caste(Sick Indian rules) and said she is going to marry her and asked me to be as a friend and nothing more. I never wanted to be just a friend of her so I decided I should stay away. Its been 3 months now and I don't know what's going on with her life. Want to stay away from all these things but cannot stop remembering her. Pity my life.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 22 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hi The Idea, I salute you for being a martyr but true love is not about running back to the one who hurts you over and over again. Before you can truly love someone, you ought to learn to love yourself first. If you are always there to comfort your ex whenever she's hurt and broken, you just give her a reason to abuse your kindness. She will never love you because you clearly show her that you don't love yourself enough to stand on your own. You might think that you are helping her to cope up but the truth is, you became addicted to the idea that your ex will go to you when nobody else would...Do not let your world revolve around her. Get a life of your own because only then will you be able to move on. PLease love yourself a little bit more because if you don't, nobody else will...i hope it are a person worth loving but it doesn't hurt to focus on yourself first before you commit with anyone again...

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 22 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      hi Kyle, i think the only help i can give you is through this hub...all the rest is up to you. It is very hard to move on especially when you have a lot of memories shared with each other. But you have to help yourself. You can follow my steps because they are surely effective...I've gone through that phase and I overcame it that's why i was able to write this hub...we all have different ways of coping but surely you will get there...

    • jean03 22 months ago

      This article is very helpful. My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me 6 weeks ago and moved out. I was blindsided. We've talked a few times since, but now I know its really over, he says he only sees me as a friend. I don't really understand how someone can love someone so much and 6 months later only see them as a friend. I'm really trying to accept it now, and move on. Its very difficult :(

    • rekha kumari 21 months ago

      Even i did all the above mention things but didn't work.out please help me 8553365799 i want new bf

    • Shuin 21 months ago

      This is what i really needed right now. My gf of 4 years broke up with me 2 months ago and im still not over her. Its really hard to stop myself texting her sending messages about forgiveness and trying to bring her back. She was everything for me. I could not help myself thinking why she left me when i needed her the most i gave her everything i could give. I blocked her on fb but people keep telling me she looks better without me, i felt useless hearing those words if only they knew what i have been through just to gave her everything she needed. I guess this is the time i forgive myself and accept the fact that we will never be together. Thank you for your tips

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 21 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      i am glad to be of help no matter how little...:) you'll get through of luck shuin..

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 21 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hi Yam, first, are you married? Because if you are married to the person the situation is indeed very different and you cannot part ways very easily especially that divorce is not legal in the Philippines and annulment is very expensive...having a child makes the situation much more complicated because the other person has the responsibility to support your child so he cannot just vanish from your life even if you want him to. I suggest you talk it out first with the person. You need to arrange important things concerning your child. And if he cheated and you are married, you can look for an attorney and file a lawsuit against your partner. If you are not married, it is still best to talk to him because he should still be responsible for supporting your child. And better to call an attorney because i know nothing about legal matters...:)

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 21 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hi Desiree, let me ask, are you still living together at present given that you only broke up 12 days ago? Or have you already moved out? If you did move out, that is already the first step to moving on. Begging him to stay will not make him love you and trying to work things out when he already set his eyes on another often results in worse situations. Trust is the most important ingredient in a relationship. If he cheats on you more than once, that means there is really something wrong with the guy and once should be enough for you not to fully trust him again. I believe that a cheater will always be a cheater...and you don't deserve to be treated the way he treated you. It is okay to give him another chance but making the same mistake twice is too much. Leave him. He's not worth your time and he doesn't deserve you. Love yourself more and only then will you be able to stand for yourself and walk away without looking back. I know it is going to be very difficult because you were together for 5 years but you have to leave him. You have to...because he is a coward. A decent man will have courage to break up with you first before he dates another girl. A decent man will never blame you for his own shortcomings. And a decent man will not let you beg...

    • souvik roy 21 months ago

      great writing..will try to follow from now onwards..:-)

    • Tahia 21 months ago

      My ex broke up with me then he wanted to patch up with me. But I dint wanted to get back with him. But we used go out sometimes and meet each other accidentally. He asked me out for almost 1 year but I always advised him to move on, cause I thought it's gonna be better for him. Now that he moved on and got a new gf, I feel sad ,I regret on my decision of letting him go. What should I do to forget him?

    • Minchie 21 months ago

      Hi , i have a boyfriend and were almost two years already but we broke up

      last day because he believes that i cheated on him . Then in those time ,im not strong enough to argue him.Because my grandma died . There are memories we share ,and i can't forget him .I always waiting that his mind would change .I always stalking him through on facebook.BUt im thinking ,it seems his not affected on our break up ,it just like that, its nothing to him.! i want to forget him ,but it is hard for me.. :-(

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 20 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hi Tahia, Moving on and forgetting are two different things...It is normal to feel sad when your ex finally moved on. But forgetting is not simple. He will always be a part of your life. If you want to forget all the pain and move on, just follow the steps i provided...they are 100% effective because it happened to me as well...and i moved on...Now, i can look back without any pain or anger. I still remember the person but i have forgotten what sort of relationship we had..I have forgotten the pain and all the negative feelings i once had...that's what moving on is all about. It is no longer feeling any pain or regret or remorse or hatred when looking back...

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 20 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hi Minchie, i am sure you will be able to forget him...just do yourself a favor and stop stalking him...Following him around on social media websites will only make it more difficult for you to move stop doing that...if you are able to do that (which is not going to be easy) then you are on the road to moving on...

    • sam 20 months ago

      Thank you! its very helpful the only thing everyone you should remember, be happy. If someone played with your heart and afterwards broke up with you, and is happy without you with someone else than F**k that person, don't judge them they are pce of shit.

    • ivy achas 20 months ago

      It will help me a lot. Thank you to the author. God bless you

    • don 20 months ago

      its 100% true and i will try it now

    • theheartbreak 20 months ago

      He just left me one month ago after 5 years been together.I'm so depress.i can't eat.i can't sleep.i also can't concentrate at my job.all i do just thinking about him.i feel lonely.sometimes i feel i want to die.i try to follow what you write in your article.its hard for me

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 20 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      It is definitely hard theheartbreak. Moving on is never easy especially that you were with him for 5 years...that's a lot of memories of you two together. Take one baby step at a time. Don'r rush and don't force it because it will be more difficult. I believe that time heals all wounds. You'll be there before you know it..just focus on moving on and don't look back on the what ifs and has beens...

    • Chick12 19 months ago

      I was broken up with 12 days ago. We had a 5.5 year relationship and I thought we were going to get married one day. It hurts so bad. I was basically replaced by a "cousin" that came from another country 3 weeks prior to the breakup. As soon as this cousin came he started changing and would obssess over her. I confronted him because I had never met her and he broke it off because of my jealousy with him preferring to talk with her and to her instead of me. He also mentioned other excuses as to why he wasn't happy anymore. I did contact him various times and he tended to mention he still loves me but doesn't know if he wants to be together. It hurts so bad and all he does is give me mixed signals. I have been trying to take your advice but it's hard when you feel like you loved a person so much and they don't love you anymore. I miss him so much and wish we could be together again because I honestly think this cousin put ideas in his head, but if it is so he's not going to change. I have finally said goodbye through an email and basically told him to think about what he really wants because I won't be waiting. I'm trying to move on after my goodbye but it is hard. He was my first and only love thus far.

    • Sissel profile image

      Sissel 19 months ago

      I just feel so down and nothing to do then i try to google "how to forget my ex" then i saw this. I am thankful for your advice and yeah.. i really try but at night... my tear falling down with no sense .. im truly hurt in my chest.. kinda someone is stabbing my heart many times. I wanna say out loud i wanna scream i wanna share to my friends.. but i can't cause i don't want anyone worry about me... i pretend to be happy.. and my ex will think im not hurt..

      Dear ..i think im so fake... you know he always turn to cold when i get mad... he said "break up now or later is no difference" that sentence totally kill me.. when i was being hurt.. he said "i cant give you happiness" ... i know he loves me.. i love him too but he's cruel to me.. i don't even know why... yesterday i asked him to break up because he talked about a hoe who had sex with him.... i was so insane ... then he just turn to cold to me ... then.. i asked him to break up through sms i said "from now we are strangers" but you know what he didn't reply me... im still checking my phone to see his respond but i got nothing.... i am a loser...

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 19 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hello Chick12...I am sorry about what happened. A man who cannot give you solid reasons why he does not want to be together with you but claims he still loves you manifests that there is something wrong with him...He might be confused or he might be falling for someone else...Or, it can be your jealousy of his cousin that troubles him. Did you try to talk to his cousin and find out if there is something else going on with them??? Because he might be really fond of his cousin and that can be quite normal if they grew up together and was so close to each other like bestfriends... Of course I cannot argue with your feelings....You feel that way for a reason and I know how much it hurts but I think the reason for your break-up is not so serious...Which means there is lack of communication between you and your ex. I think proper communication and an open-mind (from you) can still patch he relationship unless of course he was cheating because that is a different thing...Goodluck Chick12. Try to talk to him personally not just through email...that is my advice...

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 19 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hi Theopoline. 6 years of relationship is in my perception a stable relationship already. I personally think there is nothing wrong if a man is stingy or is a little strict with money because that shows that he knows how to handle his finances well. The question is, how do you ask for money? And what do you need the money for? Because if he thinks that you are asking for money to buy unimportant things or things that you don't really need, he has the right to refuse after all it is his money. But if it is important and he gets mad at you, maybe you need to talk to him...maybe he is struggling with his finances and just couldn't tell you straight. A man should always respect a woman. If he truly loves you he will not have a heart to insult you (intentionally). If you really want to get over him, just follow my advice. It will not be easy but it is effective...

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 19 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hi Sissel, I am sorry for what happened. I think it is right to break up with him. Your ex is good for nothing. He is especially not good for you because if he really loves you he shouldn't intentionally hurt your feelings! He shouldn't even brag about his other sexual activities and he should be ashamed of himself for hurting you. Cruelty is never a sign of love Sissel, always remember that. You can never associate love with cruelty because they are always at the opposite ends of each other. He does not love you...maybe he did once but I don't think he still follow my advice and don't look back. You'll see better days my dear...just be strong and believe that you can do it. It I not easy as I always tell everyone here...but it is definitely effective and rewarding..

    • alexie03 18 months ago

      I and my ex gf broke up 3months ago,i still really love her..i made all the posible things to be over her.and forget about her,but she is the one love..

    • tipu singh 18 months ago

      recently my girlfriend (jasmine) broke my heart its been two months and i am drinking a lot... but after reading these stuffs i think i should do it. it is very hard for me because the relationship was 11years... i just throw out her gifts and some other stuffs .. even i delete my facebook account. now its time for me to do your suggestions... thank you a lot... for helping people like me... it ll be more helpfull for me if you suggest more things at my email(

    • leci 17 months ago

      help me to get over my airforce soldier.. its been 1 week since i broke him .. but i really miss him. his no. 1 playboy

    • sumit gaykar 17 months ago

      thank you so much ....

    • no name 16 months ago

      nothing is helping me((((( nothing... deleting all pictures, his number, all sad songs and listening just funny songs, trying to work more and more for not thinking anout him, remembering bad memories, speaking with friends, finding new friends, trying to make a new relationship... nothing I am still crying before sleeping... still missing him.... still can't avoid myself to write messages... (((((( really tired so so tired(((((( it has been 5 month(((((

    • Charms 16 months ago

      Thank you for the tips , I know I can do it :) be positive , the time will come :)

    • Sud 15 months ago

      thanks for ur advice,,

    • saidh 14 months ago

      Hope this will help me forget my girlfriend who I brake up with 6yrs ago.atleast move on .I just want to move on,,

    • emaa 13 months ago

      i will do it. thank you to help me

    • Candychoco 13 months ago

      Thank you this is a very big help. it is not really easy to forget someone you truly love with all your heart. I don't know why but I keep on comparing my ex, I hate this feeling and because of that I refuse to go out on a date. because I don't want to be unfair with the new one. anyway, thanks again for the great advice.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 13 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hi Candychoco, you did the right thing that's for sure. I am proud of you for thinking that it is unfair to the other one to go on a relationship when you still haven't moved on quite well. Just wait a little longer and when you are finally sure that you can see and accept a person for who he/she really is, then you will be truly happy with the new love...good luck!

    • Nikita 11 months ago

      Really great hub...feeling better..and very thankful of urs..awesome I m also feeling there is someone for me...who will love me..nd treat me better than my ex..

    • broken angel 11 months ago

      I had a question honey...messaging and wishing my ex bf on his birthday will be good or not...should I have to him or not..please suggest me some idea..

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 11 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      hi broken angel, if you and your ex had a civil breakup and you are still friends, i guess wishing him a happy birthday is okay. but if you broke up because one of you hurt the other, i think it is better not to contact him/her after the break-up.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 11 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hi moks1925. Sa tingin ko it's better kung hindi mo na xa papansinin...i mean kaya ka nya ginugulo hanggang ngayon kasi alam nya na hindi mo xa matitiis. Wag kang magpatalo sa nararamdaman mo...Remember, she broke up with you because she found someone else so i'm sure pag hinayaan mo syang bumalik sa buhay mo, uulitin nya na iwan ka if may makita na naman xang iba. I also suggest that you change your number so she can't contact you anymore. Good luck..I hope i am able to help..:)

    • broken angel 11 months ago

      He said me not to message him ever...but I know he loves me...and I also love him a lot..but I don't know why he is doing so..why he don't want to live with exams are also coming and I have badly hurted by him..because of his behaviour..and about a month has happened after our breakup..he has not even said me to message him..and I had not send him a single message from our breakup..would you think he will come I m asking should I have to send him a birthday msg on his birthday or not??

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 11 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      the question broken angel is if he loves you why did he break up with you? If he loves you, he will be happy to stay with you. Sending a message for his birthday is okay but if you contact him and he will not reply then it will only hurt you it is better to move on...

    • broken angel 11 months ago

      Thank you so much..u are right..if he loves me than he will not break up with me..but he had hurt me a move on will be best for me..

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 11 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      I hope i was able to help a little broken angel..Goodluck :) you can do it!!

    • broken angel 11 months ago

      Thank you so much...honey u have helped me a lot...and one more thing I got hear about my ex is that..he had a new are right he does not love me...when he had breakup with me..he had proposed that girl and now he is with her...he is very bad...I will never forgiven him..he had just made my love fun..he is toooooo I will also forget him and never ever message or contact with him..I will also move on...and I know your tips for forgetting him will help me a your tips are awesome...

    • morgana 10 months ago

      of course superb i love that

    • jassi 10 months ago

      Thank u so much. I think ur tips will help me to move on..

    • Mahima 8 months ago

      Hi... I feel really good after reading such an inspirational article. But what should I do, if I don't find even a single fault in my ex. I still respect him but don't able to understand why he left me. I seriously need counselling to get over him. Please help me as I want to smile by heart again.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 8 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      I think the best solution for you to really understand why he left you is to ask him personally. But you don't have to do it right away...if you think you are ready to face him again and ask then you may do so but if not then you better focus on yourself first and time will come when you will cross paths with him again...

    • Carlos 8 months ago

      Please help me, I cant get her out of my mind, please help me I am really desperate

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 8 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      The steps are there for you to is hard at first but you will certainly succeed in moving on if you really want to...goodluck..:)

    • Rajat 6 months ago

      Thank you.

    • rose 6 months ago

      nice tips now i start moving on through the ff. tips i read thank you to the author of this

    • Sumaya 5 months ago

      It help to forget some one but thanks for helping me

    • Little L 5 months ago

      I'm not sure if I'm an ex... I was in a distance relationships the last 9 months..saw each other ever 3 or so weeks..I last saw him 6 weeks ago for his special birthday weekend mini break I spoilt him with..things were perfect til a week later he went silent for two days..wjen he finally phoned I was distraught and knew something was up...he toldidn't me his little 3 yr old niece had died suddenly while he was visiting..he said he wouldn't be in contact for a while... three weeks later and not even a text from him..he ignored all my messages and shut down his Facebook. I'v been heart broken but tried to be patient. Ten days ago I emailed him a long nicely worded email hoping he would reply..or at Ieast tell me he doesn't want me...anything... I love him to bits but I'm in so much pain as he's completely shut me out. I dint even know where he lives as just after I saw him he moved out his flat and was staying briefly with family til he found somewhere. I tried ringing him that night but no answer so I fibally text "why are you ignoring me??" Finally gmhe replied. Saying he wasn't ready to talk yet..he's thinking about life changes and dealing with a horrendous family tragedy..he's was sorry he's taking so long but he wasn't ready to look at his life yet. He wpuld call when his head was straight but refusing to respond until then.

      That was ten days ago and iv heard nothing.

      I txt him for the first time tonight telling him I was keep my summer weekends free in case he wanted to see me and I hoped he wpuld feel able to speak to me soon as I miss him loads.

      I saw him come online but he never replied.

      I don't want to give up on him... but I'm so hurt he feels he can shut me out completely and not care about my feelings... I'm trying to carry on and be patient...

      I wish I could forget him but without knowing if he just needs more time to grieve or if hrs going to dump me anyway I can't give up on him :'(

    • Julie 5 months ago

      THANK YOU SO MUCH ! :)

    • lachu 5 months ago

      Thank you for giving such nice advice for all breakers. Before reading this article I felt I want to suicide. You make more stronger and help to realize the truth. Thank you ..thank you so much.

    • KASH. 4 months ago

      Hie am from MALAWI I am feeling better now after reading this artical i was so sad and depressed after she ended it up but now i think i will move on, indeed others are just passing by to give us lessons.

    • Lebu 4 months ago

      I have read your thread and it has made me realise that if a glass is broken you can not put it together again even if you glue it it will show some cracks. Did that cheat think of you when they were enjoying momentum fling, of course not. There are people out there like me who will never cheat so why allow someone to cheat on you and they say it will never happen again. Please if someone cheat on you forget them immediately don't drag about it like me. Thank you for saving my broken heart, I took some notes.(once a relationship (trust) is broken trust me it will never ever be the same again.

    • Ram 4 months ago

      Thank you so much for your article

    • Sam 4 months ago

      I don't know what to say .. But I know putting effort will work.

    • damncool 4 months ago

      my boy friend loves me but he has changed a bit...he want to chat with girls more than the priority he gives me..i want him to come out of it and pay attention to me and to be honest with me..what should i do? and please pray for me because i want life for me without his love :'( give me a good suggestion to get him back as i wish

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 4 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hello Little L...Personally, i think you are not yet an ex because you still have no closure with your partner. If he is really grieving and pondering on things that happened then i think it is best to give him his own space for a while and respect what he wants...being anxious will not do you any good...What you can do is you can just get on with your life as usual. Go out and enjoy summer while it lasts. Do not let beautiful days go by because you are waiting for him to return to your life...if he means it, he will return...just give him not waste all your precious time waiting for his call and thinking that the relationship is over. Do not try to pester him with messages and that kind of stuff...just do your thing and leave him alone for a while. If all is okay and if he is able to cope with what is going on with his life then he will be back to you. There are times when people really need to be alone for a while especially after a death of a loved one. So i hope this advice helps...Good luck..:)

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 4 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      hi damncool...i am happy to know that your boyfriend loves you. But you also have to realize that you shouldn't be the priority. What i mean is, if you keep on insisting and demanding for his attention then he might have no more time for himself. Guys love to have their own "me" time sometimes and if girls take it away from them because we want their attention all the time, they might try to look for someone else who can let them be. But if your boyfriend is "ALWAYS" chatting with girls then it is time for you to let him know that you are not happy about what he is doing...You need to be firm about telling him your feelings and if he loves you as you believe he does, then he will come around and do better...I hope this helps...:)

    • shrishti 4 months ago

      hey dear thanx for ur post . i was in a relation from past 9 years and i asked him to tell his parents about me. He agrees and then i told my parents too but when my parents went to meet his parents for marriage then his parents refused for this relation..... and my boyfriend agrees with his parents he doesnt said anything. i am hurted. i dont know what to do. I m not able to stop thinking about him. I still love him.

    • sanika 4 months ago

      thank you so much for giving wonderful artical

    • lisSA 4 months ago


    • malu 4 months ago

      I can't forget my ex boyfriend.

    • Little L 4 months ago

      Thank you for your reply it's really helpful to get advice from someone who doesn't know me. Since I wrote he replied 3 weeks after his first txt saying his sister had attempted suicide after breaking down over the death of her daughter and he was struggling to cope woth holding everyone together and struggling with life himself. He said he wasn't meaning to hurt me or be insensitive but not coping very well. He said he wpuld try and call the next day..he never did and that was 5 weeks ago...

      I'v tried contacting him gently a few times since but he doesn't respond at all

      I still have hope he will eventually talk to must be so hard for him but I can't understand why he won't even txt to letensure know what he wants. I can't move on I love him . I feel so terribly sad all the time even tho have tried to get on with life I miss him so much.

      Thank you for your support it means a lot xx

    • Ahmed Mahmoud 4 months ago

      Thanks for such a usefull article

    • Kira 4 months ago

      I am so thankful for that article. I dont really know if i can forget him easily, our love thing was full complicated, best friend love never works really. At the end i just lost my boyfriend and best friend...but i will try the whole steps to forget him!!!i trust myself and that article ! I am so thankful for that article, because i know there is an exit for my pain. Thank you so much

    • Wrinkle Singh 3 months ago

      Thanks alot..........

    • A K 3 months ago

      Is not easy to move on I'm fail in my relation I wana marry him or I wana kill my self I realy love him a lot .

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 3 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      the feeling of "the end of the world for you" is just the starting phase of grieving. Everyone goes through that phase in their own time and coping abilities. But you have to accept that he's gone and once you do that, you will be ready for the remaining 9 steps that will follow...:) Be strong.

    • Emily 3 months ago

      This was soo useful to me. Thankx alot

    • Kerry 3 months ago

      Hi guys,

      I am working on a TV show and hoping to cast exes who have unresolved issues with each other but are not together for some reason.

      Have you split up with your ex boyfriend/girlfriend and have something unresolved?

      This new TV show will utilize a unique mix of approaches including; mindfulness, neuro linguistic programming, hypnosis and meditation to help you with any of the above issues.

      If you are interested please email



    • Jitendra 3 months ago

      thnku o much for your suggestions

    • Jitendra 3 months ago

      thnku so much for your suggestions

    • Anonymous 3 months ago

      Hi guys. I like this article.

    • anonymous - heart broken 3 months ago

      Hi Author

      I was with my ex-girlfriend for 6 years...the first 2 years were magical, then we ended up in a long distance scenario for the remaining 4...i was 22 when we first met. throught out long distance i wasnt the ideal boyfriend, i focused alot on work, i loved her but i wasnt making an effort like she did. I used to question whether i am able to committ or not since she always used to talk about marriage and i could really picture my life with her. The last 2 years, we broke up 3 times...all by me, cause i wasnt sure of what i wanted and i always used to disappoint i wanted to do the right thing and not be with her while i figure myself out. i used to come back after every time cause i missed her and i know she is right for me and i love her. The 3rd time was where i committed the biggest mistake. Cause i broke up with her for this girl that i cheated on her. I didnt want to have an i ended it...stayed with the girl for a few months...then i realized that all i wanted is my ex-girlfrined...that i am finally ready to committ to her fully, that i am in love with her...all the doubts were gone. I started the journey of groveling and trying to win her back after i hurt her alot. Things were looking up, it almost seemed like we are getting back together. I got a promotion at work, that would make us continue the long distance, asked her if she would like if i dont take it and we settle down. She pushed me to take it cause she wasnt sure yet if she wants to be back with me. I still kept trying. One day, she texted me telling that she "loves me, she knows she cant live without me, she knows we belong together and that will spend the rest of our lives together but she cant be with me right now cause all she thinks about is the other girl. She wants time to heal. And that i focus on my career. That she wants to meet other people. And if during that time she wasnt able to find happiness then its meant to be." i was shocked by this and i kept still trying to get her back but also giving her time to miss me. Within a month, she had already moved on with someone else...and her tone with me completely changed. She became very harsh, even really mean sometimes...Its been 4 months after that that im still trying, but she keeps telling me to move on, that shes living day by day and not thinking about the future. That she doesnt know anymore if were meant to be, she started bringing up everything wrong that i did in the relationship even started talking about how she is more similar to the other guy. Which makes it worse is that i know the guy. As im fighting for her telling her that i am ready to do whatever it takes to make it up to her, to make her happy...that who loves should forgive and give a last chance. I really mean it. some friends have tried (mainly mine), even my mother tried to convince her but she is very harsh in her words and tells me that shes happy now with this new guy. I am just confused as how do you want to spend your life with someone one day then within a month ur happy with another. Im still fighting but i feel like im just watching myself suffer while shes happy and dreaming of what stuck...i know i made a mistake but its killing me. I love her.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 3 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hey Anonymous, I'm sorry that your relationship ended. Breaking up is always painful. Now, i have this question for you, have you ever thought how your ex must have felt whenever you break up with her time and time again when you felt so unsure of yourself? I get it you went through times of uncertainty especially when your gf that time spoke so much about marriage. Guys tend to shy away from the M word because they are not ready to commit fully yet. But then, you cheated on her. Every girl who gets cheated on will think twice about getting back again. That's what happened to your girlfriend and for me that is absolutely wise. You betrayed her trust and you left her so many times that maybe just maybe, she had enough. She finally found someone who treats her better and she feels happier where she is now. You made a mistake and you know that. But if you loved her in the first place you wouldn't hurt her and you will never take her for granted. You left her and cheated on her so don't expect that she will still be there for you when you come back to doesn't work that way my friend. Now if you really love her, you will stop bothering her. Stop fighting for her because she is's too late. If she's happy, be happy for her. That is what love is all about. Maybe it is just your pride and not your heart that is hurting. So let it go. If she still loves you she will come back...

    • lavanya 3 months ago

      Hi..I wanted to know m I suffering from some psychological disorder?we broke up 5 years ago but still each and every min whenever I close my eyes I saw him.after our brakeup I being in two relationships and with the last one I m getting married in 4 months.I don't know why I can't giveup on my ex. I know he is in a relationship n also getting married with the same girl n may be she was the reason behind he left me.he always chooses her on me on our college days,n some time back when I got to know all these stuff I message him that u r always with her during our relationship too.then he just replied me We never were in any relation, I never said anything like I m gonna marry you.he said we doesn't have any relation and it's his first relation with that girl.don't you think it's just heart broken knowing after 11years that I was not in a relationship...

      I dnt want to reuin my marriage, he loves me so much I want to love him from the bottom of my heart. But still m not over my ex (according to him he wasn't even my ex). I don't know what to do what to say with whom to share...

      Tell me if I m really sick..Do I need a doctor or a psychiatry treatment?

    • lavanya 3 months ago

      I just want to know why he did this to me, I luv him badly, did every single thing to make him happy..n he said she was the girl he always wanted to be with!!! What d.. what he was doing with me for so long.just using me for sexual pleasures.. What was I am or I become a whore.. N above all he said he wasn't even in relationship with me,we were not even friends.he said all the things just like that.its like m nothing, m just a shitty piece of paper go use it n throw..I want him crying I want him to get a heart break from the girl he loved so much..I don't want them together.. Actually I dnt want him to b happy for his whole life.. Will u plz help me finding this ans y he doesn't love me.he purposed me first he made me to fallen for him n when I really fallen he left me.. What he was thinking, doesn't he care that I m a human too...all my care love, he just throw it just lyk u plz tell what really happen to me, he made me a person filled with hatred which I never want to b... I want to forget every single moment with him just want to erase him..could you plz help in finding my answer because without this I want b able to console my self...

      Plz reply..

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 3 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      I think what you need to do is let go and accept that your ex is gone. If you try to keep holding on to the past , you will never be able to truly appreciate and love your fiance. You are not sick but you are having trouble letting go. And the only way for you to finally let go of him is first to accept that he is gone for good. And second, no contact with him whatsoever. Maybe you also find it hard to accept that he is marrying the girl he cheated on you with and now that you are marrying someone else, you just can't help thinking about it. Now, i personally think that you shouldn't marry someone if you haven't fully moved on with your life yet. If you do, it will be unfair to the person who loves you. you should marry for the right reasons. Only then will you both be happy and contented with each other.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 3 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      hey Lavanya, I think this guy is not worth your time at all. Don't waste your precious time with someone like him and instead just focus on your fiance. Hating your ex and denial is a stage that everyone goes through. I happened to me as well. But now i can't even remember the pain and the heartbreak because i am happy and contented with my current partner. Time heals all wounds. But you have to let it go and accept that he's gone. Only then will you be able to move on..

    • lavanya 3 months ago

      Thnku so much for the reply, sometimes u just need a person to talk... I wasn't able to talk about this to anyone from d day we brakeup, it's being 5 yrs n still m feeling d same pain.. U r ryt time is d best healer..m trying myself very hard to b strong enough, but all I wanted to know this y people change so much that they couldn't remember the worth or the devotion of other that possible to b cruel on that level that u forget everything every moment.I never complain him about anything like not marrying me but suddenly when I got to know this he doesn't even consider me as her ex...I was shattered... I dnt want anything from him but just an answer why he was with me for so long, why on every time when I ask him do he loves me he said yes I do..

      I think m having some trouble in my mind because according to him it was never happen then may b I am a psycho who was imagining all this stuff in my brain.. I never ask him any favours never ever but Atleast he should have that much curtsey to consider me as his ex girlfriend....

      I just want something very bad happen to him so that he will get to know how hard is to console urself that everything is fine, u have to live with it, I really want him to go through this pain.....

    • alone within 3 months ago

      U know the day I tell him that just buy a ring for me no matter what Its made up real or artifical, doesn't even bother me just buy a ring for me.. And he looked so confused n scared he was mumring something and he just said no I can't do it now. He always told me how much he wants to live with me even sometime back when we r in trouble with the police he introduced me as her wife to them... From that day I remember I felt so happy inside n after some days I asked him did he gonna buy me ring plzzzzz.. He said no...I can't do it...

      When I was jobless n broken n alone he was chilling out with her girl friends N posting all d pictures on social media, I got to know this when I visited his profile not via him directly n that day I promised myself not to look back, this guy doesn't deserves me..I should move on now no matter what but I will move on, but he was my only bestfriend with whom I share everything. That day I lost both of them my friend n lover...Hmmmmm he has all his friends with him n m d one who is all alone, why on everytym I have to loose why god is so cruel to some people like me..

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 3 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      I think God is not cruel to you. He is actually good because he takes away from you those who hurt you. From your story this guy doesn't love you at all and he never planned to marry you in the first place. He only told the police you were his wife for a show. and when you suggested for him to get you a ring he was so scared that he run away. That proves that he never saw you as his wife-to-be. So move on and get back on life...i know you can do it.

    • andy 3 months ago

      i luv u really

    • alone within 3 months ago

      Hmmmmm.... U know he doesn't deserve me..but sometimes I miss that friend in him which I hd lost because of this relationship.. We were so gud in friendship why would I started relationship with him

    • adhira 3 months ago

      I dnt knw y I felt there is a hole in my heart it felt like something is missing inside me no matter what how Hard I tried there's always that hole left. Everyday I cried, y I being in love with u, y things became like this.No sound no reply.everyone is happy except me.y I hv been through this pain- m I so bad that destiny punished me without any reason, y he made me to fall just to hv a heart break.. Still not getting d idea.. I hv a bf now he loves me and I love him. But y cant I luv him like I love that guy in past.itz like something which is dead inside me.. I m a dead person now..

    • Fazil 2 months ago

      I m loving a girl for nearly 3 months , I believed her completely that she would be my part of life . She always asks some money for this n that n all. I will be giving even from burrowing others . At last I was shocked when she does different things like switching off mobile number and waiting on a call for a lot of time . She coolly answers some lies . One day my friend enquired about her . He said she was cheating the boys of rich families and getting money and leaving them . I promise you one thing I loved her all with my heart .. truely.. seriously and even I said to my parents about her that she must be my wife . All I done to love her n make her happy . Finally I got only pain . This is my 12th day after breakup . I feel very lonely n upset . Today she called me and said she loves someone who loves her for past 6 years . I cried a lot .. I can't take this normally . I am a loser in this world . I miss her a lot . I can't live on this cheating world . Want to cry loudly . Only mistake of mine is I truely loved her even without touching her hand . I was so true in that after marriage only I will touch you . After starting love on her I go for prayers daily without a single time . I cried to god for giving her back in my life . Nothing happens good to me . Paining a lot on her abcense . I just want to kill myself but I am worried about her . I don't know whether no one in this world can love her like this even her parents . No one is with me now even my parents . No friends .. no one nothing is with me now . If some one reads this please make sure in your love . In any case don't leave him/her lonely . They may truely love you but accidentally you may leave . Please I beg you all love with your truely even they leave us . My prayers will always be there for her to make her laugh n happy . Ameen

    • Fazil 2 months ago

      Is cheating a man in name of love is good .. I am now cheated by her . I don't know why she cheated but I loved her more than anyone . Today she called me for getting a job .. n I helped with a store name for hired. After that text she off her mobile till this second . Please I need your advice on this and I can't make my mind to go for any wrong intentions ( revenge her ) .

    • nothando 2 months ago

      I have been in a 1 year relationship and my bf didn't tell me that he has a child but i asked him before and he sad that he don't have a child. Then I fall pregnant with me and when I was 7mnths pregnant he tell me that he has a child and he still date his baby mother. And I chose to breakup with him but he was refuse and still calling me but I don't need him anymore. I told him to continue wit his baby mother and leave me but he don't want too. So what can I do course he hurt me so much and he has baby mother.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hello Fazil, i am sorry to hear about your situation. My only advice is let her go because she is clearly just using you. Love yourself more and walk away from strong. Good luck

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hello nothando, I am sure it is very painful because he lied to you and cheated on you so it is understandable why you left him. But you also need to realize that he is the father of your child and you will need him especially when your baby is born. So think about it carefully and talk to him. He might want to support you until you are strong again to work or something. But be strong...cheating is a no-no in my book but when there is a child on the way you really need to think about all the consequences of your decision. If you believe you can really do without him then go with it...

    • Anny 2 months ago

      Hi can you please help me?

      I had a 10months relationship and we had been physical for almost 20 times. Now just a few months back he broke up with me saying we don't have any fuyurefuture even his best friend doesn't want him to talk to me who was once my best friend too. Now after all this, I lost bf as well as my friend. His best friend tried to kiss me when he was drunk and when I told him about that he said that he cannot ruin a 10 years friendship for a 10months relationship. I cannot move on because this is just injustice. He didn't even say anything to his friend.

      How should I do? I really want to move on

    • saeedooo 2 months ago

      i appreciate with the good teaching but i have a question for you, among all the people who fall in love, do you accept that there are people who were not born to love, i mean, everytime they try to love they end up gettin hurt, is there any possibility of a person to not have the spirit of loving in his/ her vein? am saying this coz its what i went thru, at frst i had a girl, we were together for 4 years, i loved her more than my own life, suddenly she broke up with me for no reason, later i heard she is dating my cousin, when i asked her she ended up telling me thay she never loved me, she was only playing with my feeling. if it was you maam i dont know how would you react, but i didnt panic instead i was happy for them and blessed them, i starting flirting with girls for one year and ahalf, till i met a girl and i fell for at first sight, i was lucky and i got her, we were so happy for 6 month,till our collegues were so jelous of our love story and wished they could be us, i then had an emergency and she starting ruinin my mood and i got angry, i broke up with her, aftr few hours i tried getting thru her, she blocked meh everywhere, i waited for her aftr two days she unblockd me, when i was tryng to bring her back to me she was like pushing me away, thats when i askd her if she found someone better than me, she asnwered me " yes i found someone better" i then.told her if so then accept him, she said okay, i asked her about me, she said " i love you i dont love him" i told her come back to me leave him she refused, the guy had money and i had nothng to give her, the guy threatened me but i told.him that i wont give up on her unless she tells me too, i stayed 2 weeks trying to win her but she ended up telling me she cant leave him, thats when i gave up and realised that in this lifetime i stand no chance of love...... one quoter left us with this saying and a question at the end" if you gamble in the name of love, stake what you like, whats that fear? how wonderful if you win, and if you lose, whats that to be lost?" the thing thats lost is the so called "hope", hope is what bring things together, but once a person loses hope, there nothing on earth that can make things go right, and that is what i lost too, HOPE , Hold On Pain Ends, but for me i lost the key of that word, i dont think if i can be able to settle with down with one girl in my life, i wish i could share my feelings with someone close by but all end up givin me sorries, so i'd like to get your help, if you can change my mind and have a solution, as you can see, i was left twice with the same reason.

    • Jasmine 8 weeks ago

      I was in a year relationship with my boyfriend and it was difficult because there were so many misunderstandings. We were unable to connect to one another due to us being in a long distance relationship. He felt as if I don't show enough gratitude that we were together but I've always appreciated him; I'm not sure if I've shown it, but I tried my best to be there whenever he needed. I would stay up late nights to wait for him and talk on the phone with him because honestly, I felt that was the closest we could get to being in a 'physical' relationship. He constantly doubted me when I went out and made new friends; I told him about every friend that I made and he can't seem to understand that I'm not telling him because I think about them more or was trying to make him jealous but because I wanted to start a conversation with him. He tells me that he deserves someone better, someone who would make him happy and not feel like crap about himself. After we broke up, I can't help it but feel this sense of self-loathing as if everything that has happened is because of me. I've lost sight of myself and I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what I enjoy doing, what makes me happy, and I'm upset because I feel so vulnerable. What can I do to overcome this?

    • Fazil 7 weeks ago

      Thanks for the reply sister ( author ). I am trying myself to avoid calling or texting her but I can't . I started praying daily and asking god to give her back . My dear brothers & sisters who posted here and reading this pray for me please . May the almighty give u all goodness in your life's .

    • Aneem 6 weeks ago

      It's good to read. But i don't know everybody can follow it or not.. Even me to follow it or not don't know.. Anyway it's really good ideas.. Thank you so much..

    • 6 weeks ago

      hi guys i know most of u wont be interested in my story. But i liked a girl we started to talk and after a few weeks she told she was divorced. I was heart broken but i though hey i liked her when i did know this how can i say no to her when i got to know her now. After this i started to love her more then before. I wanted to make up for other things that happened to her in past. Surely i made mistakes but i did what i could for her. She was bipolar when we were in 3rd year of med school. That was hardest time for us. All of sudden some days she used to asked me to pray she didn't got pregnant. And i used to laugh like wtfff? How i didnt even touch u. Years went by and we went back to our countries for house job in hospitals. And i was mad and sad about that, I started to be upset and we had arguments and those argument led to fight. We went back and forth. One she will b all fine next day a stranger. Then after couple months she said she need time to think anyways we stopped talking. I got to know from my friends thats she is talking to other people but when i used to ask her she used to say im not and im studying for exams. Anyways i love her so much that i never said a word about it. I loved her so much that i got to know that she cheated on me many times thats y she used to say PRAY IM NOT PREGNANT. Today i got to know this its horrible for me. I gave everything to that girl just cos hse was broken she said she is happy that she got divorced so she found me and i made her love life again. now i know she is there living happy life and me here thinking crying and imagining her.

    • Azhat 6 weeks ago

      She has broken with me and moved. I am still there and not leting her go from my inside .. worest feeling

    • Faith 5 weeks ago

      this didn't help. I've tried everything. Nothing works. He is still not out of my mind.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 4 weeks ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hello Faith, moving on takes time...following everything on this article does not mean you will forget him right away...forgetting takes time and it is in your forgetting is up to you not up to this is a slow and continued process...maybe you haven't really let him go because when you truly let him go then forgetting comes easy...Take your time you will get there if you are truly determined to move on....

    • Yarih Rodriguez 3 weeks ago

      Thank you so much !

    • Louise 3 weeks ago

      I have been so messed up lately by my ex and the people that surround him. I've put up with relentless abuse and emotional torture (only way I can describe it). So many people got involved and brought up my past but with a nice twist to shove the knife in! I've stayed calm and tried to be rational through it all but after 4 weeks and not having any form of defence the attacks just got worse or changed to suit their moods! I am hoping to use your advice to pull myself back off the floor and find me again, not so I can fight the people that are wrapped up in drama but to now e a better me for me x

    • 3 weeks ago

      Thank you for your insight. This article is well written.

    • Abhi 3 weeks ago

      Thank You it help me a lot.....

    • adhira 2 weeks ago

      Just a month left from my wedding n I will b someone's forever... The word forever takes a huge courage to say yes I wil b urs forever n I will love u or b with u forever...

      I went out three relationships and the last one I am getting marry. But sometimes I felt I don't love him but the same time I can't live without him becz there's no one for me who can love and b with matter how badly u begged to someone who breaks ur Heart, he will never come again. And you carry this grief with the feeling that someone to somebody you will love again, and everytime you pushed yourself to love someone.. Because I know exactly the feeling how it used to b with someone to who you don't love but you have to with him because you know you don't have any choice left, you have to live with it.and about the past affairs they didn't have time to ask you how r u, r u feeling fine with your decision, do u need any emotional help during this period because I know it's a tough time for u and I want to b there with you for on our last journey because after that m no in ur thoughts u can never c me again, u will b someone's and I will b someone's forever n forever. So on this last day I want to tell u that u are a very special one and I still love you for that...

      :-) that's all happened in my dreams, you came to me to tell me all these things.. And I want u to b just ryt there for me and I love u to, and thank you For breaking my heart so deeply,so that I couldn't love anyone like I do to you and I am happy that I m not gonna feel that pain again with anyone now...

      I just want u to hold me once because in this life I can't meet you again...

      Please come and meet me once, I just want to see you for the last time but like forever n ever...

    • fr 2 weeks ago

      hi i really liked it cause i tried so many ways while i see my ex at uni i cant get over him but he is so happy without me and enjoys talking to other girls im so foool that still cryig and i cant sleep its too hard for me i used to be a happy girl but now everyone says that i changed a lot still checking his profile and its the only way i can see him

    • Tina 2 weeks ago

      I had breakup 6 months ago. He was my best friend. It was mutual. We decided to be friends again. But now I miss him alot , feel lot alone. I feel sucidial also. I have tried. Everything but nothing is happening. It hurts alot.

    • franz chong 2 weeks ago

      your tips have saved my life.I WILL USE THEM WISELY.I ask myself each day what was I DOING WITH A GIRL LIKE THAT.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 weeks ago from Manila, Philippines

      Thank you Franz Chong. I am glad to be of help. I'm sure you will get over her and be back on track...:) Stay strong...

    • Irony 13 days ago

      All these things that you guys are saying should have been done in my relationship before we broke up and we could have held the marriage together now that we're broke up all these things apply to make lives better and to keep us apart but in reality they should have been done before The Break-Up

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 12 days ago from Manila, Philippines

      I am not sure what you mean about doing all these things before break-up Irony...because all the tips are geared towards letting go and moving on with your life without that person and only after a break-up can you truly move on. Without closure the relationship won't go a closure has to be done first...

    • Rebecca 5 days ago

      This arctile is great and exactly what I've been doing. Thank for so much :) the only thing is though I have to work with my ex. Any advice?

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 4 days ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hello Rebecca, thanks for your comment. Working with your ex is indeed very difficult because you cannot avoid him in the workplace and you need to force yourself to be civil if ever you do meet him. If it is really unbearable for you and if it is possible to ask for a transfer to another department maybe you can give that a try. If not, then just pretend he doesn't exist...There aren't many options in your case...And you shouldn't leave your job just because of him either...Goodluck girl! Stay strong and you can do it!

    • Lara 4 days ago


    • ayaz 4 days ago

      i was haveing afairs with my gf more then 10 month but she cheated with me its very diffcult to forget for me i still love her even she cheated with me am feeling so painfull

    • Ajaz bhat 2 days ago

      Thanks for giving me the strength n confidence for forgetting her

    Click to Rate This Article