10 Most Effective Tips to Forget an Ex

Updated on May 29, 2018
purpleshadow13 profile image

Jenny is a girl who loves many things. She loves street foods, traveling, nature, music, cats, and dogs! She's crazy about purple & writing!

Forgetting Your Ex-Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Every failed relationship is painful. It hurts us in a way no physical wounds can...

I, too was heartbroken. I was so mad at myself for being such a fool and I almost hated the world for being so unfair. I wanted to slap just anybody, and wanted to be alone for a while (thank goodness I have no suicidal tendencies). I was emotionally tortured that time. I was crying while at work. And every time I hear the sound of some familiar love songs I can't help but cry my heart out.

I wanted to move on. I wanted to forget him as soon as I can (if only it can happen the next morning when I wake up) but I couldn't. Everywhere I looked, I saw him...there's just too many memories and I thought i would go crazy trying to avoid them.

Overtime, I've realized that it's not enough to just want to move on...I have to do something about it and I did. It wasn't easy I tell you. There were times when I was literally banging my head on the wall for being too weak to fight the urge to contact him and deleting all his numbers didn't help as well as I have memorized them. But as time went by, it became less painful until you literally can't remember how it actually felt. Fortunately, I was successful! Let me share with you the things I did and I'm pretty sure it will help you too.

1. Accept What Happened but Don't Dwell on it

It is normal to be upset, mad and hurt after break-ups especially if it's a third party issue. And you'd probably be mad for a long time. But if you stay mad you'd only stress yourself and you'd only make your world smaller. You have to accept that the relationship is over and don't even try to pick up the pieces because you'd only hurt yourself. Acceptance is the first step to moving on and getting over that stupid ex, so its time for you to make that first step. Once you've accepted it, don't dwell on it. Don't over-think and over-analyze things. Don't dwell on the "what'ifs or what might have beens" in the relationship. It's fruitless. Believe me, I've tried and it only made me feel worse than I have ever been.

You can choose to avoid thinking about him or her and causing yourself suffering. It’s not easy, but you can do it.

A good way to think is by journaling about your feelings. It doesn't have to be the best writing or even good writing at all. Just get it all out there. Imagine that as you write them down, the bad feelings and thoughts are leaving your body and sticking to the paper.

2. Let Go

The rule of every relationship is never ever be clingy. You have to learn to let go. I know it's not easy. Letting go is actually the most crucial and the most difficult phase of every relationship. There's just too many memories and forgetting these memories feels like an impossibility. Well, who wouldn't find it hard to let go? You have invested so much time, money effort and tears to make the relationship work out only to lose it in just a moment. Of course it's hard to let go! Who am I kidding? However, you also have to think of yourself honey. You ought to respect and value yourself more than anyone and being clingy indicates that your self value is way below the line. Do not cling to someone who doesn't see your true value. It's just not going to work.

3. Go Outside and Be Active

I understand that you want to be alone and I respect that. Everyone deserves some alone time with themselves and I'm not going to deny you that opportunity. When you are alone, you can think things through but don't overdo it.

Do not stay indoors for long. Go out. Enjoy the outdoors. Socialize with your friends. This will give you less time to think about your ex. Bask in the sun or go some place else with your family members. This will definitely give you a better view of the world you once lived in...the world without your stupid ex...Don't forget that you once lived without him/her so it won't definitely ruin your life now that you are back to where you once were... your life isn't over now that they're gone.

In addition, exercising, sunlight, and fresh air will help you become healthier which will make your body feel good. Soon enough, your heart will start feeling better too.

4. Don't Look Back or Imagine "What If . . ."

Once the relationship is broken, it will never be the same again no matter how hard you try to piece it back together. There is a reason why the relationship didn't work, and it's rare that the relationship works the second time around.

If the deal breaker was unrelated to the couple (like a job or just a minor misunderstanding), it's possible things might work out if the situation changes. But if you broke up because of individual differences or cheating, hon, you should think twice before getting involved with the same person again.

You need to look within yourself and be honest. If you think you can still trust the person wholeheartedly then go for it. But you have to be careful. Seriously—if he cheated on you once he’ll cheat on you again, that's for sure! What I'm trying to say is, it's better if you don't look back. Less conflict, worry-free and new possibilities for love and better life. Science have proven that once a cheater is always a cheater so do yourself some favor and look for someone else who would see your true value...

What I'm trying to say is, it's better if you don't look back. You will have less inner conflict, fewer worries, and more possibilities for love and a better life.


5. Make New Memories

To get your ex out of your system, you have to create new memories. If you visited some places together in the past, you need to go to a new spot that you’ve never been before. Better yet, go to somewhere you went together but this time do it with your loved ones and friends. Eat foods you’ve never tasted before. Try a different sport.

Do something you never thought you’d do like bungee jumping, skydiving, ziplining, rock climbing, or anything else! If you create new memories, you will have a better chance at forgetting your ex, and in the process, you'll discover many more things that you are capable of, things you never thought you could do.


If someone cheated while on the relationship, does he/she deserves another chance?

See results

6. Improve Yourself

You’re single. This is the best time for you to focus on you. Now, your money and time is all yours to take. Don't feel guilty about spending it.

Go to a spa and get pampered. Buy a new set of clothes, shoes, and makeup. Give yourself a makeover as the strong, independent woman you are. Enroll in a culinary course and learn something new. Indulge in worthwhile activities like yoga, swimming, biking, and the arts.

As you improve yourself, you’ll build the self-confidence that was marred by your previous relationship. Being confident in yourself gives you a certain balance. It makes you feel good about yourself, and that's very attractive.

It also helps to have a role model or mentor, someone who you admire as a person. This could be someone who's also gone through a breakup and can give you some guidance as you're dealing with your feelings. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

7. Avoid Contact With Your Ex as Much as Possible

Your ex might still want to contact you even after breakup. If this happens, it will certainly make it harder for you to forget him. Be respectful but mindful of your needs. You can change your number (or block his), and delete his number from your contact list. If you memorized his number, you will really have to discipline yourself and do your best not to contact him.

Try to memorize other important phone numbers. Keep busy so you won't even have time to think of contacting him. In time, you'll be surprised that you don't remember his phone number anymore.

Unfollow him or block him on all your social media accounts, and delete all your old messages and emails so you don’t spend any time going through them. Make a new email address to make it even more effective. The urge to contact him will wane little by little until you don’t remember him at all.

8. Make Lifestyle Changes

Make a list of all the things you want to do with your life. What are the things that you could never do together? Did he hate boating because he got seasick? Go on a cruise. Did he always roll his eyes when you wanted to go dancing? Take a dance class!

Clean your room and throw away all the things that you associate with your ex like photo albums, gifts he gave you, old rotten flowers he gave you that you're still keeping as souvenirs, letters and birthday cards. If you have posters or pictures drawn on the wall with him, repaint your walls and redecorate your bedroom.

These are not easy things to do. But you have to move on, and removing these things as a memento of your previous relationship will help you forget him faster and for good. Challenge yourself to be strong and you'll be surprised at how easy and how fulfilling it can be if you're successful.


9. See the Good in Yourself

Nothing is impossible if you are determined to really move on, but you have to help yourself. Make a list of all the bad qualities of your ex, the things you couldn’t stand about him or her. List all the reasons why you shouldn't get back together.

Then enumerate all of your good qualities, those qualities that make you special and worth a second shot in love. Make a list of your 100 best qualities. Don’t stop until you reach 100! Having these things written down will help you convince yourself that you’ve made the right decision.

10. Love Again

This is the ultimate way to get over your ex. Even though your past relationship didn't work, it shouldn't stop you from loving again. Try not to close your heart to a new possibility of a love that is better, bolder, and greater than the previous one. Smile and be hopeful. There is someone who is right for you, someone who will be thankful to have you, someone who will treasure and respect you more than anyone else.

You will find a new love that will make you grow more mature and inspired in your everyday life. And who knows, the next person could even be the one you decide to spend the rest of your life with.


That's it folks. That’s my advice. If I was able to get over my ex, I am sure that you will too. Even though it feels like it, it is not the end of the world. There is still someone out there waiting for you who will find you no matter what.

Be thankful and learn from your past and use that to become a better and more lovable person. Realize that there are different kinds of people that we are meant to meet in life. Some of them are just passing by to give us lessons, some will make us stronger, some are meant to show us what real world is like and there are some who will stay with us forever.

Love yourself more and you'll see that new love is coming along soon enough.

Questions & Answers

Comments everywhere........

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Rooshan 32 hours ago

      Well said

    • profile image

      hafsa musa 2 days ago

      i want to break up!!but love is a poison it breaks our heart...i feel part of me is not with me specially my heart i neeeeeeeeed my heart back.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 weeks ago from The Hague, Netherlands

      Very well said...

    • profile image

      Mikae Yagi 2 weeks ago

      I think it makes a huge difference how you break up with someone. I just broke up with my ex-BF (actually dumped....) but we ended peacefully. We even said that we are going to keep in touch. However, I went ahead and blocked his numbers right after. I will delete all of our text messages and will also delete him from my contact list. I do not hate him, although he had not been very fair to me. I forgave him because that's what makes me feel better of myself. Now, I am planning to have new things to do, new places to go, etc. In the end, I can't control how he feels about me, but I can control how I feel about myself.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 3 weeks ago from The Hague, Netherlands

      Sometimes, Ethan, when we are caught up in our own happiness, we tend to overlook other's people's misery even if they are important to us. Don't blame yourself too much for your ex's unhappiness. It is her responsibility to tell you and be open with you about how she feels because that is what a mature person should do. I sometimes have depressive phases but very mild ones and that is because I am living in a different country with my boyfriend where people speak a different language and so there are times when I feel alone and lonely. But i always tell my boyfriend that. I am always open about what I feel and in so doing, we can both talk about it and find some solution to my problems...And it always work out. There's just nothing to gain if you pretend to be happy all the time...

    • profile image

      Ethan 3 weeks ago

      I broke up with my ex gf cuz I knew what we had was unhealthy, but the memories wont stop and they are making me fall apart, ive had pleanty of gf's in my time but something about her was different, I was actually in love, i gave her my life, I moved in with her in a different city and restarted my life, I was so happy but I found out the hard way she wasnt happy, she told me she loved me that day and went off and I slept all day waking up to my mom calling me saying my gf was texting her saying she wanted me out and she was unhappy, she was scared to show me any sign that she was unhappy cuz she was worried on how I would react, she knew ive literally lost everything close to me and she was all i had, i just wish I would of noticed her being unhappy gradually instead of it all hitting me in one day, i always told her to only tell me she loved me if she meant it and she did say she did but then I found out it was a lie, I loved her so much and almost everything reminds me of her, I cant escape my memories and they are haunting me 24/7, im scared of what I'm going to end up doing, cuz i know im at my breaking point and im getting ready to snap, Idk if it will be on me or someone else, so much shit has happened, im done starting over, every memory from every person ive lost from bs is in the front of my mind and idk how to change that, ive tryed every method known to man. Nothings working, sometimes its just not meant to be for some people and nothing anyone can say can change how i feel, no words, no actions, my past will haunt me till the day I die and hopefully that will be soon...cuz trying is too hard

    • profile image

      Ashi 4 weeks ago

      I broked with my ex 2 months ago but i want him back i just messaged him 3 days ago nd he blocked me even he said to my friend to tell me to stay away from him and to message anymore..i am just helpless ..now i wont to forget him.. i know i deserve more better than this ..as he cheated me before also nd it took 3 years to forget him nd aftr some time (4years ) he said he truly loves me somewhere i still loved him so i trusted him again .nd now again am alone with my feelings ..i just want to get over him and make him realize what he has lost..nd somewhere i still want answer "if he ever loved me ? Whtevr he said was that true? Or all it was a lie?" I want to scream i want to cry hard but cant .. please help

    • profile image

      uknown 4 weeks ago

      i just break up with my gf because of difference religious. i feel really shit right now.

    • profile image

      marwan 5 weeks ago

      thanks for sharing i will tray those thing i think about her all time i can t stop it she is gong to get maried

    • profile image

      salma 5 weeks ago

      he is my classmate so thats really hard for me

    • profile image

      claimel piastro 5 weeks ago

      it helps me a lot .thank you .

    • profile image

      Erika 6 weeks ago

      i'm broken, please help.

    • profile image

      Shy 6 weeks ago

      My boyfriend is mean to me after I cheated on him 3 times he calls me a retard and he just moved out with his friend we were together 3 years and our anniversary is may 12 th what should I do

    • profile image

      Megan 6 weeks ago

      Me and my ex are still pretty friendly, and i am possibly falling for him again, i don't want to as i really really like another guy- who is caring, honest and kind! Btw i broke up with the guy, so i feel bad if i go back, i feel like my friends and family will judge me! But he's the only person i rely on recently and all of a sudden he's not bothering with me! And i don't know what to do because again i may have possibly fallen for him??? HELP?!?!?!?

    • profile image

      Luis Leonardo 7 weeks ago

      Wow....this was the most reliable source so far...I’m glad I found this because is hard to live with this pain day in day out....things won’t be the same but our breakup was a choice made by according to her, GOD ..and I just got to accept that she’s not coming back....I want to move on but I still believe deep deep inside of me, a chance to make things right...thanks for the tips I’ll defintely use these tips to be a better me, my past is a dark one and I don’t want to go back....thank you for the help

    • profile image

      ENM 8 weeks ago

      Hi i still love my ex your all right. I will move on now that i know how.

    • profile image

      Richard S 8 weeks ago

      Shortly after my Ex broke my heart after another attempt to get her back, someone even better has entered my life. To make the long story short we are now engaged and she has helped me get over my Ex. My Ex has found out and appears to regret her decision to dumping me. Definitely don’t want her back.

    • profile image

      Michelle Anderson 8 weeks ago

      Thank you for this advice to moving on my Ex.

    • profile image

      chomu 2 months ago

      my ex-was always lied to me. he said to me that I don't respect him. he was very narrow. he never showed me his originality being in a relationship. he is too clever also.due to his lies I always got anger.I and my ex-are in the same batch. I used to see him every day. moreover, we don't talk to each other anymore since 8 months.he never put his ego aside in relationship. I always try to remain happy but from inside i am too much broken. how could I forget him?

    • profile image

      Manogi 2 months ago


    • profile image

      luke 2 months ago

      its been 3yrs since we broke up and we have our son so we keep on communicating just to sure our little boy dont feel empty or lack of family .. but until now im still suffering . dont know why. yes im mad coz she left me in times of trials to our relationship . but i miss evrything . i dont know if its hope that we might fix it . i dont know . i just dont know . im showing evry one around me that im ok . but srsly im not..for 3yrs im not ok .

    • profile image

      Thabi 2 months ago

      Wow I truly needed this , I've been in a relationship for 8 year and the guy decided to cheat on me n leave me ,,, it so painful cause he lied to me ,,now m failing to move on, I dnt knw wat to do I feel like all the guys r the same

    • profile image

      Madeleine 2 months ago

      Even more motivated in getting over my ex! The love I have for him he does not deserve it. Thank you!

    • profile image

      abdihakim breezy mc'grath 2 months ago

      thank you for this ..

    • profile image

      lindacams 3 months ago

      Tanks to Dr akubay akhabue r.m for helping me to get my lovable ex back..

      Do u miss him/her?

      Do u want a lasting solution to that troubled relationship ?

      Do u feel threatened by their opposite sex friends ?

      Do u want power to succeed in politics?

      Having problems understanding your school work

      Then look no further!

      The solution to all your problems is here.

      From my fore fathers down to my lineage,to me and now down to my son we proffer solution to all relationship problems, political problems, educational problems and terminal diseases.

      Try Dr akubay akhabua r.m. Today and receive the long awaited solution to your problems

      WhatsApp him with


       Dr.akubay akhabua r.m

    • profile image

      Sanika 3 months ago

      Thank you. Thank you very much. It is help full for me to forget my ex forever.

    • profile image

      MELISSA 3 months ago


    • profile image

      Alexa Veronica 3 months ago

      Thank you, you have no idea how you have helped me. Thank you very much.

    • profile image

      lingani 3 months ago

      thank you

    • profile image

      gladis 3 months ago

      well thank you. i think i can over my ex and i will try to move on and thank u very much

    • profile image

      emma 3 months ago

      Thanks so much. I was really upset before cax the feelings just flood in. When I started copying ur words on a paper, ur words are healing and my heart received all. I will wait until my tears drain and hope well to my future.

    • profile image

      priceless 4 months ago

      not that easy,but one has to move on...

    • profile image

      Sunil Gaur 4 months ago

      I will try to follow your instruction but i am not sure how will i do it. it is very painful to forget our special one.....

    • profile image

      Emmy 4 months ago

      Thanks for a nice article I'll try my best to move on in my ex

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 4 months ago from The Hague, Netherlands

      I think the reason why it didn't help is because when you read it, your mind is just closed. this article would only wok for you if you feel that you are ready to accept that the relationship has ended..if you are not there yet, then of course nothing will work for you...

    • profile image

      chris 4 months ago

      this article did'nt help at all thanks for nothing

    • profile image

      Mk 4 months ago

      hi! thanks for this article I hope it would help me.

    • profile image

      DARSHAINY 4 months ago

      I'm feel better now.thank you so much

    • profile image

      Maria of phillipines 4 months ago

      Thank you for sharing reading your article as if u are talking to me ryt infront of me..

      while reading this i am coz u really hit me,

      thank you coz you open my eyes that i had to free my heart from pain

      i know he doesnt deserve me coz he cheat always and i do realise i need to wake up that idont need to hang on to our memories and the possibility og having him back in my life

      thanks for this article its a huge help for me God bless you

      i know there is lot more people who are in my situation

      thanks a lot


    • profile image

      I made a mistake 4 months ago

      I made a mistake and that caused me losing the love of my life, no I didn't cheat I decided to listen to my friends instead of my heart. I heard rumors and I believed them without talking to him about it and to be honest, this might be the biggest mistake of my life because now I don't have him with me and that sucks and I still love him but he deserves better not someone like me that could doubt him at any moment when he's telling the truth. I love him and that's why I have to let him go. I have my insecurities, yes and I had a lot of people betray me in the past which isn't an excuse for my behavior and why I should doubt him. I learned the hard way and if I have a relationship in my future I will make sure I don't make the same mistake twice. learn from me and trust your partner, talk to him/she about and don't make my mistake because it will hurt.

    • profile image

      vishalkrdilla 4 months ago

      she came in like a wind and left me like a storm. I just wanted to watch over her my entire life but I was unsure of our future and she was expecting me to be confident. we were both unsure and we were living in the dream as she used to say. I was quite aware and told her that we are not going to end up together and saying this did it. I broke her, but she was strong unlike me. she held on as I requested to live the same lie for a while and waited for the right time. but as you all know it never is a right time to break up without any fights and all. but this time as she said lets break up as she can't live in the lie anymore, I again did not have the strength to tell her that this lie, this dream is gonna come true one day and our families will agree. but this time I was strong enough to let her go our of my weakness. she always told that I made her stronger. I will always love her and I know that she loved me too. thank you for the advice ma'am I hope I will get over her soon. I hope she would not cry for me now..

    • profile image

      you just gotta move on 5 months ago

      like girls on here listen up

      you should never let guy treat you like dirt always be bitter in yourself like if he leaves you, it's there lost because they left the most perfect thing in the world...cheer up and move on

    • profile image

      sradha reddy 5 months ago

      paste is paste.it is mad thinking about what is not our's now

    • profile image

      kanjay 5 months ago

      Chuchay_ if you see this could you please reply why even after 5 years your not over its scaring me i feel like maybe i wont ever. What djd you do for five years?

    • profile image

      Smartness 5 months ago

      This world have 3,821,915,263 boy and 3,755,118,677 girl.


    • profile image

      Saga 5 months ago

      Life is all of to learn new experiences...I applied this to my life & I'm thanking God that the devastating past has left me...were today I'm achieving that I never thought of in my career....!!!

    • profile image

      sunnyone 5 months ago

      Thank you! :-)

    • profile image

      Kaisekarehindi.in 5 months ago

      Very nice article. It really feels good when we start loving ourselves more than the one who doesn't deserve. Nice tips keep sharing.

    • profile image

      Roy 6 months ago

      Thanks for the article hope it will work,only that she my neighbour and we used to see each other every day,although it pains better her go!

    • profile image

      chuchay_ 6 months ago

      thank you for this. i hope this will help me to finally forget my ex boyfriend. we've been out of the relationship 5yrs already. but Im still hurt. I dont know why.;(

    • profile image

      Veronique 6 months ago

      Thank you Paired life! I’m trying to apply the advice!

      I love him, i loved him and i’m letting him go ..

    • profile image

      pretyyy 6 months ago

      he left me because of my insecurities

    • profile image

      Juan 6 months ago


    • profile image

      sam 6 months ago

      how can i foregate her if we are doing on the same workplace

    • profile image

      Pranav 6 months ago

      Thank you so much @pairedlime

    • profile image

      Rohan 6 months ago

      Yes...over.my main cause is..after our marriage she would want to work..and i'm say no.but when i am broken up with her in those days she open a facebook account and chatting some one else..which is not good.but i am search how to forget my ex?then i am read this..and belive me..it was pretty good for me..thank you so much.

    • profile image

      Angel 6 months ago

      I have my ex Boyfriend back, i am now enjoying happy life,__dr.mack201@gmail .com gives a positive result for love related problem solutions...

    • profile image

      dany 6 months ago

      someone help me.

      if she left me because she said she needed more time for her kids and she needed to focus on herself, then 5 months later she calls me cause she misses me and still loves me. we get back together but the n a month after we got back together she tells that that she had moved in back to her ex husbands house and she only did it to work things out FOR THE KIDS. after she told me that I was hurt more than mad. then trust kinda starting to take over, no trust. should I still be with this person?

    • profile image

      Gabreski 6 months ago

      Hey everyone, hope you're doing well and taking the breakup as a learning experience. I'm a longtime reader of paired life and I just wanted to post about an app I found that really helped my get over my ex gf. Its called breakup vault, it locks pictures of your ex for 60 days so you're not tempted to peek. It really made my no contact feel complete and I no longer get anxious when I see my ex in public. I'd urge anyone going through a breakup to check it out. https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/breakup-vault/id13...

      Sending positive thoughts to everyone,


    • profile image

      ms. c 6 months ago

      i broke up my bf last nov. 11 because he lied to me and i feel there is a third party. until now he did not explain to me.

    • profile image

      Amber 6 months ago

      My boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago I feel so awful like if everything has gone for me, I cannot realize why he broke up with me, was so horrible the way he did to me. Last message he sent was telling me how much he loves me with a lot lovely words. Then I sent him a message back doing the same telling lovely words but he did not return back my texts he just ignore me. Then I saw something that it's was a evidence for me. That this relationship he just wanted to put a distance with me, the reason it was because of his work and things just were complicated

    • profile image

      Mr. Nobody 7 months ago


    • profile image

      Victoria 7 months ago

      Thank you

    • profile image

      Harry 7 months ago

      what if your ex and previous ex are best friends?

    • profile image

      cire 7 months ago

      i really love this help a lot, but the thing that pissed me off is (him) must put him/her coz not all cheaters are men.

    • profile image

      alexa 7 months ago

      i understand the tips thrown out but they´re honestly just the same things you hear everyone else telling you.. thank though

    • profile image

      nima 8 months ago

      things are not as simple as you described it, people are not the same

    • profile image

      https://youtu.be/oZn-oaHnWgQ 8 months ago

      Yes, Go outside and be active is what is best when you just end up having so much more time after a breakup .

    • profile image

      junaid 9 months ago

      i had a friend who loved me , i didn't knew that i too loved her .. but now she's with her ex , n now i realize how much i love her

    • profile image

      FIFI 9 months ago

      but this article makes it sound so easy. i mean i gave him my everything. for him to hurt me the way he did, is not easy to just forget.

    • profile image

      chyhi 9 months ago

      my girl and i been going through it, she said its best if we take a break im fine with that but i can't cope with not having her in my life sometimes you have to fight for the person you really believe in guys. give them a little space it may be hard but you have to think about the bigger picture and that's making yall be stronger in the long run!

    • profile image

      Hong 9 months ago


    • profile image

      chloe 9 months ago

      I broke up with my boyfriend recently because my mom found out and the next day he starts texting me how hes not sad and stuff and im crying and I don't know how to stop someone help

    • profile image

      Beverly suggs 9 months ago

      What shall I do I need your hrlp

    • profile image

      Beverly suggs 9 months ago

      How to get over the hurt what your ex done and your daughter done to you

    • profile image

      Joannna 9 months ago


    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 9 months ago from The Hague, Netherlands

      Very well said...and well-done Lana..:)

    • profile image

      Clacro 9 months ago

      My ex broke up with me after 2.5 years with a message, however he never actually let go of me until last few days he told me he slept with someone and this someone is pregnant. He still has my dog and must keep it until December because of practical issues I can't take the dog with me yet as her documents are missing. We still talk like normal people and he still tells me I'm the love of his life and the happiness and love he felt for me he never felt before, and when he says those things I feel better but than I think how he got someone pregnant after we were still talking to eachother, and he was still telling me he wants to try to make this relationship work?after all this time together and all the efforts I did. I get crazy. I have lost around 5/6 kg as I cannot eat and stop thinking because I'm afraid of my reaction of when I see a picture of him with someone else or their baby and I know he is not happy with her at least not now...but how to get over all this?how to stop thinking about him and this stupid thing he did? Our lives where very different and maybe if we would have stayed together we would have broken up or ended up getting a divorce, that's the main reason that he broke up, our different cultures, backgrounds and future. So he just found someone who can accept that he is poor, works crazy hours for little money, has never money, before married and not yet divorced and with 3 children, but I was always trying to improve him to make him get the divorce, to find a better job and I thought him how to save money and many other things. But I think how can a man do this to someone he wanted to marry and have a future. And how a woman can keep the baby of someone she just met?i just want to be happy again and take my dog and wish that he will get what he deserves and realizes of what he has lost

    • profile image

      Féline 9 months ago

      Thank you so much for writing this article, it has really calmed me down in the middle of a panic attack.

    • profile image

      Alex 9 months ago

      I just got out of a relationship and im trying to forget about him and it's working and I just found out he is dating a girl with the same name as me and i'm just like woww but i dont care anymore im happy and this helped me out alot.but what hurt the most is that he was actually someone special

    • profile image

      LanaTheRedhead 9 months ago

      I had a relationship that was on off for a few years. At first we were absolutely besotted. We did have something special but he broke my trust and was struggling with his own issues, one being he was a widower.

      We still had feelings for each other but it didn't work. It took me a long time to break away and for a while we were still lovers, but casual. It was complicated and it took me a long time to finally walk away. It hurt like hell but it was never going to work.

      I decided I couldn't be friends either. As it turned out he had several other "casual FWBs" by then. How stupid I had been. I cut off all contact, deleted all numbers. Stopped emailing, texting and went cold turkey.

      When I moved house I went through all my possessions. Every one of them. Anything that reminded me of the relationship, good or bad - got sold or given away. No matter how nice, valuable or useful it was - it went.

      My home is now void of all reminders. I've been through all my photos and deleted every last one of him.

      I'm moving on and it's been nearly 12m since the very last contact. I knew this man became abusive and toxic and in the end, he was bad for me. I was addicted and I went cold turkey.

      I thought by letting go of him - I was letting go of love. I am alone now and haven't really dated anyone for a few years now. I am having a break and I think the best thing for me has been to accept that any contact with any ex's is like always looking in the rear view mirror.

      Even if my life ahead and the journey remains single, it's a clear view, not a cloudy one. He was my last chance to have some semblance of a family life. (I am now 50+) It was the most painful relationship experience of my life, but I'd rather live authentically alone than living a lie just to have companionship.

    • profile image

      LOR 9 months ago


    • profile image

      Ms jayaweera 9 months ago

      Thank you soo much...thank u

    • profile image

      Matew 9 months ago

      Thank you sooo much. This article helped me you don't even imagine how much

    • profile image

      Eejay 10 months ago

      Hi, well I have a lot memories with my ex and that's the hardest part to just let go. We broke up almost 3 years ago and we're still single. We still talk and yes, we're single for all this time since our broke up. I don't know how to describe our relationship, it's too complicated. Yes I'm still in love with her as much as before. She said she still love me too. But she cheated on me and that's the reason we broke up. I'm so hurt and that's the most painfull memory I've ever had. We would marry each other if we could, but unfortunately we couldn't. She said she regret for all what she's done. I forgive her, but it's too hard to comeback. My self refuse to accept her as my girlfriend while my other half need her to be with me because I can't lie I love her. Is she my true love? I can't even thinking about love if it's not about her. I don't know what to do. I think I will always alone for the rest of my life.

    • profile image

      Arya Red 10 months ago

      Hi, I just don't know how to explain the pain I'm going through. I am not in a relationship but I have something more than a friendship with my best guy friend. I met him when I was going through pain after the break up with my first love I ever had. He helped me to be happy and comforted me and made me feel like I'm special. Now it's been more than one and half year since we first started talking. We used to talk a lot. We couldn't go a day without talking. And we went out on dates too. But we were not officially goin out. And I asked him out once because I couldn't be like that for so long cause I felt like I'll lose him if we didn't get in a relationship. So I asked him out but he told me that we are just friends and we will always be. And told me that he will always be there for me no matter what. And he kept talking to me like before. He never changed his way of treating me never ignored me. He always comforted me and still he do. But now he is going to a new college and says that he doesn't have enough time to talk to me like we did and that was okay cause I understood the situation. I knew he'd be busy and that was okay for me but now he doesn't even have enough time to send me a single text even once a two days. He talks to me on Instagram direct message rarely and he is not like before. So,etimes doesn't reply me but the messages are seen. I thought positive and thought it's because he needs to study. But this is hurting me a lot. The fear of losing him hurts. And now he has a female friend who is helping him in his studies. And tbh I was so jealous about it. And he studies with her all day long and he doesn't have time for me.. not even a minute. That can't be right? I feel so worthless. I just thought I should let go. But it's so hard for me.. I just don't know how I should follow the mentioned instructions because I'm scared of myself cause sometimes when it's really hard to forget him I wish I was dead

    • profile image

      Mercyt 10 months ago


      Hi, let him go, and keep repeating to yourself that it wouldn't have worked, you seem to be so different, him being shy and all that. you will meet someone you will click with in the future. if you still want to be friends with him you will have to get over him first, either by putting the friendship on hold till you get over him or still be in contact with him and be friends and prepare to deal with the emotions that come with seeing him liking other girls and actually falling in love ,with him not taking it slow , him being so romantic, him going to visit her no mater where she is and talking to her throughout the day. are you ready for that?

      if yes and you are mentally prepared for anything, you will still be friends, this options leads you to becoming numb, i sometimes love this method because it allows me to face the challenge squarely, expecting anything and when it finally happens i sigh with relief and move on, i used to stare at my ex's photo with his wife really stare lol till i became numb and the reality sank in but i didn't love him so much anyways. so good luck.

    • profile image

      im93 10 months ago

      well first of all ,thank you so much for your words

      well i broke up with my ex month ago, actually we dated only for 2 months , but we've been friend since a long time ,i really liked him and he did too during that time we were so cute together and i knew that we'll become a couple somehow! so when we did ,alot of things changed, i was doing my best to make this relationship works ,he was so freaking cold and also shy(actually thats his personnality ) he was not romantic at all we kept talking just like before! we were like a fcebook couple ,we didnt talk by phone or even met ! he said lets make things go slowly and not to hurry and give him the time to change, i said okay so many times cuz i really want to build a good relation with him (he's my first bf and im 23btw) anyway last month i got really angry cuz he didnt even talk for day so we made an end to it ! the problem is , he said lets get back to the old us , we were cute back then ! i said i will try , anyway i really cant get over him actually he keeps talking to me and asking what i'm doing like once a week ..but everytime i open the facebook all i think about is him , i keep saying he'll talk to me right now i just can get over the good talk we had ! as much as i hated staying in that relation with him but i cant just move on like that ,i liked him somehow! i dont want to loose him as a friend or block him like many couples do! hope i'll get over him soon

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 10 months ago from The Hague, Netherlands

      Hey Nikki, thank you for the message. Too many differences is not actually a sign to break up but yeah if your differences always cause you to fight then i think you made the right decision. It is normal to have some arguments about some things from time to time but if it becomes an everyday thing then it is not healthy anymore. Right now you are in an adjustment stage. It is a phase where you typically miss the person because you used to do a lot of things together and it is normal to miss him. My advise is to make yourself busy as well so you have less time to think about him. You will eventually get used to the fact that he is no longer a part of your life...

    • profile image

      muhammad sadiq 10 months ago

      I have nothing to add just i thank you so much bcz this is what i’ve been waiting for. I follow your advice's. Thanks again.

    • profile image

      Nikki 10 months ago

      Hey there,

      So I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago because I knew that he wasn't the "one" for me. We would constantly fight and we barely could relate on anything. After 2 years of dating, I still couldn't see a future with him so I had to end things. The breakup resulted from a fight and happened all over text. I asked to meet up with him to talk about it in person but he said that he never wanted to see me again. He then blocked me on everything. I felt bad for breaking up with him because he was a nice guy, but it had to be done because we just had SO many differences. Now, three months later, we sometimes text, but every time we do it turns into him telling me how much he misses me and then we start fighting about everything. He told me that he could never be friends with me again because he was an "all or nothing" kinda guy. However, he was the person I lost my virginity to and my first true love so I can never truly forget him, and unlike him, I do want to keep in touch time to time but he wont allow that. And recently, Ive also started to miss him a lot. I miss talking to him more than anything. How do I get over him even though I was the one to end things? Not talking to him at all has messed me up because I am not used to it. I don't know if I regret breaking up with him because I know i did the right thing. Its just that I miss some things about him and not being able to talk to him at all is killing me. I haven't seen him in months and I keep getting remind of him because we have mutual friends. Please help me get over him. I haven't been able to sleep properly for DAYS now because of him.

    • profile image

      shama 10 months ago


    • profile image

      Gav 10 months ago

      This helps me so so much. But my problem is I live in a pretty small town in va and it's really hard to to run in to her idk what to do about that

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 10 months ago from The Hague, Netherlands

      Hi Lumos1225, Mahirap yang set-up nyo na open relationship. Kasi pag sinabi nating open relationship talagang wala kang assurance kasi hindi naman kayo exclusive. It is not fair to you kasi you have feelings for her. In an open relationship kasi, dapat di ka masyadong ma-attach sa tao kasi ikaw ang matatalo eh. In my opinion, kelangan mo tlgang pilitin ang sarili mo na magmove on. Wag mong ikulong ang sarili mo sa kanya kasi you have the freedom to do what you want. pero wag kang magexpect. Yan ang number one rule ng open relationship. No attachments, no assumptions, no expectations, no exclusivity and no conflict.

    • profile image

      Joselyn koya 10 months ago

      A good article. Holding on to emotional baggage will ruin the future. Forget past to progress in life.

    • profile image

      Nana 10 months ago

      Such a great article...really rings home.

    • profile image

      Chana RJ 10 months ago

      Great work mam,it will be really working,This is a good work for many people who are suffering from loss of love,

      thanks to you!!!

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 10 months ago from The Hague, Netherlands

      Lula Mai, then why did you decide to be with your current partner when you know you are still not over your ex? I think it is a bit unfair to your current partner to compare him with your past. You can never love your current partner wholeheartedly if you still cling to your ex's memories. If you like someone just because they are attractive then for me that is a bit shallow. Looks are not important. Character is. When you fall in love with someone's character, then it is unlikely that you will look at someone else no matter the looks.

    • profile image

      Lula Mai 10 months ago

      I am in a New serious relation with someone else but I can't help but think of my ex at times. My ex is now married and I want to love my new partner whole heartedly but don't find him as attractive as my ex.

    • purpleshadow13 profile image

      Jennifer Gonzales 11 months ago from The Hague, Netherlands

      Dear Friend,

      I think the fact that she lied to you a lot and took advantage of your feelings and you felt cheated by her (i don't know if you are still on a dating stage or that you are already exclusive because dating does not mean exclusivity all the time) is enough motivation for you to forget about her. This girl is clearly not worth your time and affection because she is just playing with your feelings. Once you realize that your self worth is more important then it will be easier for you to move forward and let go. A lot of people really tend to forego their self-worth which often leads to begging for love and not being able to let go for a long time. Love yourself more and you will be stronger.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://pairedlife.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)