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10 Most Effective Tips to Forget an Ex

Updated on February 26, 2017
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Jenny is a girl who loves many things. She loves street foods, traveling, nature, music, cats and dogs! She's crazy about purple & writing!

Forgetting Your Ex-Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Every failed relationship is painful. It hurts us in a way no physical wounds can...

I, too was heartbroken. I was so mad at myself for being such a fool and I almost hated the world for being so unfair. I wanted to slap just anybody, and wanted to be alone for a while (thank goodness I have no suicidal tendencies). I was emotionally tortured that time. I was crying while at work. And every time I hear the sound of some familiar love songs I can't help but cry my heart out. I wanted to move on. I wanted to forget him as soon as I can (if only it can happen the next morning when I wake up) but I couldn't. Everywhere I looked, I saw him...there's just too many memories and I thought i would go crazy trying to avoid them. That's when I've realized that it's not enough to just want to move on...I have to do something about it and fortunately I was successful! Let me share with you the things I did and I'm pretty sure it will help you too.

1. Accept What Happened but Don't Dwell on it

It is normal to be upset, mad and hurt after break-ups especially if it's a third party issue. And you'd probably be mad for a long time. But if you stay mad you'd only stress yourself and you'd only make your world smaller. You have to accept that the relationship is over and don't even try to pick up the pieces because you'd only hurt yourself. Acceptance is the first step to moving on and getting over that stupid ex, so its time for you to make that first step. Once you've accepted it, don't dwell on it. Don't over-think and over-analyze things. Don't dwell on the "what'ifs or what might have beens" in the relationship. It's fruitless. Believe me, I've tried and it only made me feel worse than I have ever been.

You can choose to avoid thinking about him or her and causing yourself suffering. It’s not easy, but you can do it.

A good way to think is by journaling about your feelings. It doesn't have to be the best writing or even good writing at all. Just get it all out there. Imagine that as you write them down, the bad feelings and thoughts are leaving your body and sticking to the paper.

2. Let Go

The rule of every relationship is never ever be clingy. You have to learn to let go. I know it's not easy. Letting go is actually the most crucial and the most difficult phase of every relationship. There's just too many memories and forgetting these memories feels like an impossibility. Well, who wouldn't find it hard to let go? You have invested so much time, money effort and tears to make the relationship work out only to lose it in just a moment. Of course it's hard to let go! Who am I kidding? However, you also have to think of yourself honey. You ought to respect and value yourself more than anyone and being clingy indicates that your self value is way below the line. Do not cling to someone who doesn't see your true value. It's just not going to work.

3. Go Outside and Be Active

I understand that you want to be alone and I respect that. Everyone deserves some alone time with themselves and I'm not going to deny you that opportunity. When you are alone, you can think things through but don't overdo it.

Do not stay indoors for long. Go out. Enjoy the outdoors. Socialize with your friends. This will give you less time to think about your ex. Bask in the sun or go some place else with your family members. This will definitely give you a better view of the world you once lived in...the world without your stupid ex...Don't forget that you once lived without him/her so it won't definitely ruin your life now that you are back to where you once were... your life isn't over now that they're gone.

In addition, exercising, sunlight, and fresh air will help you become healthier which will make your body feel good. Soon enough, your heart will start feeling better too.

4. Don't Look Back or Imagine "What If . . ."

Once the relationship is broken, it will never be the same again no matter how hard you try to piece it back together. There is a reason why the relationship didn't work, and it's rare that the relationship works the second time around.

If the deal breaker was unrelated to the couple (like a job or just a minor misunderstanding), it's possible things might work out if the situation changes. But if you broke up because of individual differences or cheating, hon, you should think twice before getting involved with the same person again.

You need to look within yourself and be honest. If you think you can still trust the person wholeheartedly then go for it. But you have to be careful. Seriously—if he cheated on you once he’ll cheat on you again, that's for sure! What I'm trying to say is, it's better if you don't look back. Less conflict, worry-free and new possibilities for love and better life. Science have proven that once a cheater is always a cheater so do yourself some favor and look for someone else who would see your true value...

What I'm trying to say is, it's better if you don't look back. You will have less inner conflict, fewer worries, and more possibilities for love and a better life.

Source

5. Make New Memories

To get your ex out of your system, you have to create new memories. If you visited some places together in the past, you need to go to a new spot that you’ve never been before. Better yet, go to somewhere you went together but this time do it with your loved ones and friends. Eat foods you’ve never tasted before. Try a different sport.

Do something you never thought you’d do like bungee jumping, skydiving, ziplining, rock climbing, or anything else! If you create new memories, you will have a better chance at forgetting your ex, and in the process, you'll discover many more things that you are capable of, things you never thought you could do.

Source

If someone cheated while on the relationship, does he/she deserves another chance?

See results

6. Improve Yourself

You’re single. This is the best time for you to focus on you. Now, your money and time is all yours to take. Don't feel guilty about spending it.

Go to a spa and get pampered. Buy a new set of clothes, shoes, and makeup. Give yourself a makeover as the strong, independent woman you are. Enroll in a culinary course and learn something new. Indulge in worthwhile activities like yoga, swimming, biking, and the arts.

As you improve yourself, you’ll build the self-confidence that was marred by your previous relationship. Being confident in yourself gives you a certain balance. It makes you feel good about yourself, and that's very attractive.

It also helps to have a role model or mentor, someone who you admire as a person. This could be someone who's also gone through a breakup and can give you some guidance as you're dealing with your feelings. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

7. Avoid Contact With Your Ex as Much as Possible

Your ex might still want to contact you even after breakup. If this happens, it will certainly make it harder for you to forget him. Be respectful but mindful of your needs. You can change your number (or block his), and delete his number from your contact list. If you memorized his number, you will really have to discipline yourself and do your best not to contact him.

Try to memorize other important phone numbers. Keep busy so you won't even have time to think of contacting him. In time, you'll be surprised that you don't remember his phone number anymore.

Unfollow him or block him on all your social media accounts, and delete all your old messages and emails so you don’t spend any time going through them. Make a new email address to make it even more effective. The urge to contact him will wane little by little until you don’t remember him at all.

8. Make Lifestyle Changes

Make a list of all the things you want to do with your life. What are the things that you could never do together? Did he hate boating because he got seasick? Go on a cruise. Did he always roll his eyes when you wanted to go dancing? Take a dance class!

Clean your room and throw away all the things that you associate with your ex like photo albums, gifts he gave you, old rotten flowers he gave you that you're still keeping as souvenirs, letters and birthday cards. If you have posters or pictures drawn on the wall with him, repaint your walls and redecorate your bedroom.

These are not easy things to do. But you have to move on, and removing these things as a memento of your previous relationship will help you forget him faster and for good. Challenge yourself to be strong and you'll be surprised at how easy and how fulfilling it can be if you're successful.

Source

9. See the Good in Yourself

Nothing is impossible if you are determined to really move on, but you have to help yourself. Make a list of all the bad qualities of your ex, the things you couldn’t stand about him or her. List all the reasons why you shouldn't get back together.

Then enumerate all of your good qualities, those qualities that make you special and worth a second shot in love. Make a list of your 100 best qualities. Don’t stop until you reach 100! Having these things written down will help you convince yourself that you’ve made the right decision.

10. Love Again

This is the ultimate way to get over your ex. Even though your past relationship didn't work, it shouldn't stop you from loving again. Try not to close your heart to a new possibility of a love that is better, bolder, and greater than the previous one. Smile and be hopeful. There is someone who is right for you, someone who will be thankful to have you, someone who will treasure and respect you more than anyone else.

You will find a new love that will make you grow more mature and inspired in your everyday life. And who knows, the next person could even be the one you decide to spend the rest of your life with.

Source

That's it folks. That’s my advice. If I was able to get over my ex, I am sure that you will too. Even though it feels like it, it is not the end of the world. There is still someone out there waiting for you who will find you no matter what.

Be thankful and learn from your past and use that to become a better and more lovable person. Realize that there are different kinds of people that we are meant to meet in life. Some of them are just passing by to give us lessons, some will make us stronger, some are meant to show us what real world is like and there are some who will stay with us forever.

Love yourself more and you'll see that new love is coming along soon enough.

Comments everywhere........

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      im93 3 days ago

      well first of all ,thank you so much for your words

      well i broke up with my ex month ago, actually we dated only for 2 months , but we've been friend since a long time ,i really liked him and he did too during that time we were so cute together and i knew that we'll become a couple somehow! so when we did ,alot of things changed, i was doing my best to make this relationship works ,he was so freaking cold and also shy(actually thats his personnality ) he was not romantic at all we kept talking just like before! we were like a fcebook couple ,we didnt talk by phone or even met ! he said lets make things go slowly and not to hurry and give him the time to change, i said okay so many times cuz i really want to build a good relation with him (he's my first bf and im 23btw) anyway last month i got really angry cuz he didnt even talk for day so we made an end to it ! the problem is , he said lets get back to the old us , we were cute back then ! i said i will try , anyway i really cant get over him actually he keeps talking to me and asking what i'm doing like once a week ..but everytime i open the facebook all i think about is him , i keep saying he'll talk to me right now i just can get over the good talk we had ! as much as i hated staying in that relation with him but i cant just move on like that ,i liked him somehow! i dont want to loose him as a friend or block him like many couples do! hope i'll get over him soon

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      Jennifer Gonzales 4 days ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hey Nikki, thank you for the message. Too many differences is not actually a sign to break up but yeah if your differences always cause you to fight then i think you made the right decision. It is normal to have some arguments about some things from time to time but if it becomes an everyday thing then it is not healthy anymore. Right now you are in an adjustment stage. It is a phase where you typically miss the person because you used to do a lot of things together and it is normal to miss him. My advise is to make yourself busy as well so you have less time to think about him. You will eventually get used to the fact that he is no longer a part of your life...

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      muhammad sadiq 4 days ago

      I have nothing to add just i thank you so much bcz this is what i’ve been waiting for. I follow your advice's. Thanks again.

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      Nikki 5 days ago

      Hey there,

      So I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago because I knew that he wasn't the "one" for me. We would constantly fight and we barely could relate on anything. After 2 years of dating, I still couldn't see a future with him so I had to end things. The breakup resulted from a fight and happened all over text. I asked to meet up with him to talk about it in person but he said that he never wanted to see me again. He then blocked me on everything. I felt bad for breaking up with him because he was a nice guy, but it had to be done because we just had SO many differences. Now, three months later, we sometimes text, but every time we do it turns into him telling me how much he misses me and then we start fighting about everything. He told me that he could never be friends with me again because he was an "all or nothing" kinda guy. However, he was the person I lost my virginity to and my first true love so I can never truly forget him, and unlike him, I do want to keep in touch time to time but he wont allow that. And recently, Ive also started to miss him a lot. I miss talking to him more than anything. How do I get over him even though I was the one to end things? Not talking to him at all has messed me up because I am not used to it. I don't know if I regret breaking up with him because I know i did the right thing. Its just that I miss some things about him and not being able to talk to him at all is killing me. I haven't seen him in months and I keep getting remind of him because we have mutual friends. Please help me get over him. I haven't been able to sleep properly for DAYS now because of him.

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      shama 7 days ago

      Thanku...

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      Gav 2 weeks ago

      This helps me so so much. But my problem is I live in a pretty small town in va and it's really hard to to run in to her idk what to do about that

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      Jennifer Gonzales 2 weeks ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hi Lumos1225, Mahirap yang set-up nyo na open relationship. Kasi pag sinabi nating open relationship talagang wala kang assurance kasi hindi naman kayo exclusive. It is not fair to you kasi you have feelings for her. In an open relationship kasi, dapat di ka masyadong ma-attach sa tao kasi ikaw ang matatalo eh. In my opinion, kelangan mo tlgang pilitin ang sarili mo na magmove on. Wag mong ikulong ang sarili mo sa kanya kasi you have the freedom to do what you want. pero wag kang magexpect. Yan ang number one rule ng open relationship. No attachments, no assumptions, no expectations, no exclusivity and no conflict.

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      Joselyn koya 2 weeks ago

      A good article. Holding on to emotional baggage will ruin the future. Forget past to progress in life.

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      Nana 2 weeks ago

      Such a great article...really rings home.

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      Chana RJ 2 weeks ago

      Great work mam,it will be really working,This is a good work for many people who are suffering from loss of love,

      thanks to you!!!

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      Jennifer Gonzales 3 weeks ago from Manila, Philippines

      Lula Mai, then why did you decide to be with your current partner when you know you are still not over your ex? I think it is a bit unfair to your current partner to compare him with your past. You can never love your current partner wholeheartedly if you still cling to your ex's memories. If you like someone just because they are attractive then for me that is a bit shallow. Looks are not important. Character is. When you fall in love with someone's character, then it is unlikely that you will look at someone else no matter the looks.

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      Lula Mai 3 weeks ago

      I am in a New serious relation with someone else but I can't help but think of my ex at times. My ex is now married and I want to love my new partner whole heartedly but don't find him as attractive as my ex.

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      Author

      Jennifer Gonzales 3 weeks ago from Manila, Philippines

      Dear Friend,

      I think the fact that she lied to you a lot and took advantage of your feelings and you felt cheated by her (i don't know if you are still on a dating stage or that you are already exclusive because dating does not mean exclusivity all the time) is enough motivation for you to forget about her. This girl is clearly not worth your time and affection because she is just playing with your feelings. Once you realize that your self worth is more important then it will be easier for you to move forward and let go. A lot of people really tend to forego their self-worth which often leads to begging for love and not being able to let go for a long time. Love yourself more and you will be stronger.

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      Dear friend, 3 weeks ago

      I would like to open this opportunity for all of you to help me discuss about my relationship between I and my girl. I have been dating her for nearly a year now. At the beginning, our relationship was really motivating to me to move on, but no longer later it was a Hmong New Year and I took her to my friend's noodle booth, and she was interested in my friend but I didn't know that she would cheat on me and a day later I went to school in a whole day when I came back from school in the evening, I had called her many times but she didn't answer. So I went to the Hmong New Year and I saw my girlfriend with a guy which is my friend in the noodle booth. They were drinking beer and hugging each other in the noodle booth. I felt perplexed how could she do that to me. And since that she always does something to outsmart me and when I ask her questions where she has been, she could not give a good answer, and now she always lie and try to do something secret, but I love her very much. I always wish her the best and suggest her to the best thing all the time but she was not improving, so now I want get over her and move on my way alone because I forgave her many times for what she did bad things to me. Now I want to let her go but I feel the pain a lot. So please help me the answers to get over her and just go.

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      Walikadage Dileema Hirushani Boteju 4 weeks ago

      I'm 24 year old and i was dating him for 2 years..one day I saw messages in his phone..he was trying to make a relationship with another girl and he told me sorry and give him a chance..I gave him a chance and after 1year he began to neglect me and I was really sad and i asked why he said he need some space and it's better to make some distance..I didn't agree and in our third aniversary day he saw messages of me and one of my friend (boy) and i was confused when he told that I have a affair with that guy..he was really happy in that day and then he suddenly told me that he don't need me anymore because I m a cheater..I try to explain him that that guy is just my friend but he didn't need to hear..then he blocked me and I'm alone and i realy love him and i don't need any other in my life..I didn't cheat him but once he tried to cheat me

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      Dt 6 weeks ago

      I liked this article but I cant really forget her....I'm mad for her

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      TSHEEPO 6 weeks ago

      I'm been in a pain for my girlfriend lied to me because she want money I give her money after that all she cheated me but now I'm so happy about the guidance I have read I move on with my life not someone life

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      Jennifer Gonzales 6 weeks ago from Manila, Philippines

      This is also applicable to men although men are quite different in terms of dealing and handling relationship break-ups. :)

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      Jordan 7 weeks ago

      wait, i think this is for womens

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      Cute girl 7 weeks ago

      Good article! It's been almost 15 years we broke up. I have moved on in my life but unfortunately I have not been able to forget him.

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      pritha sarkar 7 weeks ago

      Nice

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      Shafiya Nousheen 7 weeks ago

      Its a great hub. To forget the Ex Husband n his memories. Thank You so much. I will remove all his memories from me as well as his things which are with me. After Eid I will remove all his things. But memories how to forget that. . . .

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      Helen 7 weeks ago

      Thanks, just read this right now. Hope I will

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      mpo 7 weeks ago

      thank u for the word

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      samson 8 weeks ago

      thank you so much i was start losing hope in loving again

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      Author

      Jennifer Gonzales 2 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hey Anaya, in my opinion, it is better to forget him and start moving on with your life without him. You already said it yourself, it is a one-sided love so it is useless to wait for him...

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      anaya 2 months ago

      i just recently have a breakup with a guy whom i really love by my heart.i love him so freaking much..even i cant think about ur separation likes this..it was one sided love from my side..its just happened because of her sister as she reads our conversation on social media....i want a good and wants a good suggestion tht how can i forget him from my life despite knowing the fact i cant.i dont understand what to do.. i m just crying over n over again..i cant handle myself without himm..my life is being confused taking to him..i became in mentally depression because of him..

      he told me he wll talk to me again whenever the situation will be good. just tell me the way how can i forget him OR i should WAIT FOR HIMN??

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      mpho 2 months ago

      I like this article because it help me to forget about my ex.

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      Bnn 2 months ago

      My problem is someone tell lie that I am in relationship with him when ask him he just said u r sis for me

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      Lavanya 2 months ago

      When Two persons fall in love they make love stories and when two person stand for their love they make fairy tales . And if want your fairy tale in real life then dude you really need to work hard ...

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      pakkuli 2 months ago

      thank you so much. I have been cheated on twice and this article sure helped.

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      2 months ago

      alright

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      reiyumetse mosadi 2 months ago

      i have tried all those and his family communicate with m about him not been the same person and that he drinks a lot...and he dumped m for another girl plz help m

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      ashwathi 2 months ago

      Thank u so much. Love this article

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      beauty 2 months ago

      I don't think ill eva love again

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      Mich 2 months ago

      My partner for almost 5 years just broke up with me after I had my worse months. I can't believe he just doesn't wanna be with me when I was there and stayed with him in his worse years. It's just now fair. But what can I do I can't for myself into him when he doesn't want me anymore. I still love and miss him so much. We have had gone through a lot of hardships together, we survived them and now that he is doing okay; he wants to stay away from me when I need him. God, I swear I am really having a hard time on accepting the reality that he really is gone and its over. But theres only one way to be better. And that is to move on forward and forget about him. And be better than yesterday...

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      kamila 2 months ago

      hi,i loved someone we were in relation for four years but he got engaged,when i asked why he said that family decision i cant say anything to family but we didn't leave each other we were together he told me i cant forget you we will be boyfriend and girlfriend forever i said ok,but now he got married still he saying i want to be your bf.but now i dont want to be his gf.but i cant forget him i miss him a lot i tried to forget but cant because we are working in same organization we see each other daily so it really difficult to not see him.

      please say something what should i do.

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      John Tuinei 2 months ago

      Iam single for a while yeah broke with my gf

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      Ashwarya 3 months ago

      This was good but the last tip....love again ...i don't know i just lost all hopes of loving someone else...it is very difficult for me

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      Author

      Jennifer Gonzales 3 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      when you finally found someone else to love and who also loves you in return, i am sure your thoughts about your ex will slowly and permanently go away...

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      Rajendra Gujar 3 months ago

      It's fine, but how to forget recurring thoughts forever ex said?

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      Sammy 3 months ago

      Jast help me to forget her

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      Abubakar Shaibu 3 months ago

      Am very happy to read your advice thank you soo much

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      Anonim 3 months ago

      Hi,

      I was in love with a married man

      Wanted to kill myself, couldn't accept to be without him, couldn't understand....

      now he is with someone else and his wife too.

      And the worst thing is that I miss him. So shame.

      I'm fighting to forget him, so hard....

      God- help me

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      catalina 3 months ago

      love yourself

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      Neilyn Ambulo 3 months ago

      Thank you for this kind of blog or advice.. It's really helpful.. :)

      -From Philippines

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      shuvo 3 months ago

      Wonderful advices....really trying to work on it

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      3 months ago

      Thank you so much for the advices. Remain blessed.

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      Everywhere 3 months ago

      Hmmm...I don't knw from where to start but I had two broken relationships n now m married to third person . I tried everything to run my marriage I even tried to live him also but as u knw all in vain .. we r not living together it's a long distance marriage. I lost my job now . Everyone behaviour is changed as of them m just a useless person even in my eyes too m just a useless nothing else. I hate the guy m married too. I want divorce from him. He doesn't have enough money , I used to live with my parents after marriage because he doesn't want to suffocate his family because of me as he is in abroad n m here alone . He never used to takeout my expenses,sometimes he used to give money but as I told u he doesn't have much so m living on my parental expenses. Nobody knows how's humiliated I feel every single day of my life . Mai don't want to live with a person who does not manage her wife expenses .. mujhe people says that m very rude with him I have to change my behaviour with him but for me he is just a useless person I hate him it's being just two months of marriage n I hate him a lot . I don't knw how m gonna manage this relation life tym as I don't want to be with him . My ex bfs were better then him . They have their big luxurious home with a car n nice salary , but they left me n I left with a useless person who couldn't afford any thing.. sucks ....

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      Love 3 months ago

      i love the article. i think this would be a great help for me to move on. i hope i can forget him after doing these tips. thank you!

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      PDM 3 months ago

      THANK YOU ...ITS REALLY HELPFUL FOR ME

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      mr.g 3 months ago

      good article I like it and thks to post d article

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      Benjamin 3 months ago

      It helps....

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      asmita 4 months ago

      it is amazing article and it is related to my situation and i will try to do happy and make new memories and try to forget him

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      meera 4 months ago

      its really amazing article...great tips thanks a lot ...!!

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      km 4 months ago

      Thank you so so much. You saved me.

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      Ishwarya 4 months ago

      Excllnt hub tat I have never gone through before.

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      TANAYA DAS 4 months ago

      Thank you soo much...hope it will work..your suggestions really motivated me...thnks once again.

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      Mel 4 months ago

      I don't know how to thank you!!!

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      Author

      Jennifer Gonzales 4 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hey Ragho, you have no control over your dreams indeed. So in that part, there is nothing you can do. But it can mean something, it could mean that you still haven't forgotten about her. That you haven't completely moved on with your life. A part of you may still be hoping and longing to see her again. I think the only way to stop your dreams (about her) is to stop thinking about her. When you always think of something, your subconscious tend to "save" that thought and it tends to continue through your dreams. The same is true when we are worried or anxious. So better stop thinking about her and move on with your life completely.

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      Ragho 4 months ago

      Hi Jennifer

      Its been over 11 years after break-up. Since then we never see each other or talked over phone. Now i am married and having one kid, but still not able to forget her. In every second night i dreamed about her. I have no control over my dreams.

      How to overcome this situation?

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      Juliet 4 months ago

      Thank you for a good motivation,I am now coming to my sense...I can stand by my slf without him.I can see that it is not the end of the world,it was just a challenge and a lesson to my life,and I thank him to give me a lesson because problems like this one if I can face it will be easy for me to overcome them couz I have an experience,life goes on.

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      Clari 4 months ago

      Beautiful.. Thank you so much

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      ABEY 4 months ago

      I found it very helpfull! THANK YOU!

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      Sarath 5 months ago

      she blocked me in her whatsapp, but even though i unable to resist myself every second i remember her, unable to control myself every morning & night im expecting her text even i know it is foolishness. Her actions says me that love has no value.. y people are like this? unable to control myself....

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      Nat 5 months ago

      The article gives me hope! Break up is soo hard! It’s been almost a year since he broke up with me, I thought I have gotten over him but after couple of drinks, the old memories came back again! But I know I will eventually get over him for good! This is someone doesn’t want me, I deserve better and I am sure the next one will be better! Some people are lucky to meet the love of their life, people like us have to go through a few ups and downs to be able to meet the right one. Some many people have moved on from breakups even though it’s heard, I believe I can too! And good luck to all the heart broken people out there, we can do this!

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      erica flores 5 months ago

      thank you for this wonderfull ways to forget

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      hesan 5 months ago

      i wants to forget my ex girl friend who is going to marry for some other guy,but im feeling so alone without her.and she was used to spend money for me but now she went away from my life.

      please help me for this.

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      ssanch31@gmail 5 months ago

      Thanks for this article it really made me think about my value as a person a nd the brillian future ahead of me.

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      Author

      Jennifer Gonzales 5 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      An25,

      I think he doesn't love you anymore...i am not even sure if he really did love you...but you said he did..so i will take your word for it. One thing, if he loves you he will not hurt you intentionally. Push and pull in the relationship is not a good sign either. It is very exhausting and confusing and if the guy is serious with you he will never leave you hanging and confused. You will know right away where you stand in his life. and clearly with this guy, you have no idea where you are. So just stop communicating with him and save yourself from more pain by moving on.

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      An25 5 months ago

      Hey guys!

      Sorry for a long msg and gramatical error ..

      I am completely baffled and need an advise

      I was in a 3 year long bad relationship (older than me, continue cheating,over possesive, and always tried to force me to do what he want) when i met the one who attracted me the most by his very soft and caring nature and this guy proposed me but it took me a week to decide what to do and i told him everything about my background n told him that i always wanted to move from this relation bt i could nt bcoz of family knw abt that relation and asked him to decide now whether he wants to be with me or not than he said YES n he helped me in over coming that relation n that relation was over aftr lots of problm he stood beside me through my thick n thin everytime than we came in a very very happy relation n we enjoyed each others company so much bt in doing so we both failed in our competitive exam n than came lots of stress n career pressure than he went in another state for his education bt continued to come in my state becoz his family is also in the same state our houses were 40 km apart bt than his family also shifted to almost 70km apart house from mine n than it resulted in our less meetings bt now the problem is m now preparing for another competitive exam n he wanted me to clear this exam during this year n m working so hard bt suddenly he stopped talking to me blocked me n after fews days unblocked me asked abt my studies n told me that he is in another relation i could not believe it i asked to proove he sent me screenshot of his chat with that girl still i said i coult nt believe than he made a call and a girl said i m speaking his girlfriend u were nt believing hence i made this call n after hearing this i cutted the call than i asked him to be frnds bt he denied after fews hours i blocked him bt next day i got call frm him asking me why did u block me unblock me n i said nothng n unblocked him bt i did nt try to contact him much than he called me for a very small reason i said hmm and cutted the call now i m confused whts going on wht he want from me n m very very upset n crying bcoz i love him the most more than anyone else bt i dont want to show ny of my feeling to anyone n also he asked to meet (for giving my old phone back to me that was left with him) bt i said i cant coz i know this meeting is going to make me cry more n more..

      (I love him so much n i dont want to lose him)

      and ya i searched abt that girl n i found only few pics of her which shows she is very normal by appearance n my bf always appreciated my beauty :-)

      Also he loved me so much that i could nt explain through my words

      bt this sudden change is very shocking to me

      It has been 3.5 years of our relation

      pls suggest me what should i do??

      Reply asap :-(

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      Author

      Jennifer Gonzales 5 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      The question is, is there no one else who can help you? Does it really have to be him or can you find someone else who could do the same thing and help you? If you have other people to go to for help or assistance, then go to other people. If not, like for example in a workplace and he is the only one there, then be civil and approach him in a professional manner. :)

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      Ekeoseye 5 months ago

      What if I needed him to do something for me should I still avoid him and I need his help?

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      nyl ortega 5 months ago

      Hi! thank you so much for writing these article!! it means a lot to me.. having 5 years relationship with a shit !haha can i add/ or follow you on your Facebook or Instagram account?? :) thank you so much

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      VIKRAM 5 months ago

      Thank you for such great post . It's help me alot. but my problem is that i was in serious relationship for 8 years now my gf got marry year ago with someone else due to family problem.. one important thing is that that tym i was just passout from collage she respect her mom dad a lot and u knw that indian girl think a lot about her family image. she always told me that she can do everythig for making her parents happy and i wanted i "ll mary her when i m capable to live her happy...i love her so much more than myself . i did everything for her.. she also loved me a lot during relaionship we were neat and clean and our relationship is transparent. she is bounded with my family better than me. i still loved her so much i have tried no contact with her.. but after 3 month i contact her ... i knw that it's my mistake...she is changed after her marriage i can't accept it that she is changed for me... i feel veel very alone sometym. i never makes a friend . i want to become an officer but i can't focus on my study whenever i study or alone in home i remember her so much... even i don't use social media. she came to my house and meet with mom dad afer her marriage . i don't pickup her call i never want to contact with her but she want she says we can make a good friends. but i m feelvery jealous when saw her with someone..no doubt she changed my life even i earn for her. .i try to forget her and focus on study so u tell me what should i do...for making better lyf for me ..

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      Jennifer Gonzales 5 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      I am really glad to be of help to anyone out there who are going through the difficult phase of moving on....Be strong and you will make it!

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      Sandy 5 months ago

      I m really thankful to u..after reading d words of wisdom I felt a bit strong within my soul which weeped every moment after my breakup...Thanks a million ma'am ....this will help me to overcome soon....

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      dario 5 months ago

      Im still heart broken shes blocked of everything but she still wants to talk and tell me she loves me what do i need to do

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      Becca 5 months ago

      Definitely made me think about how negative I've been with myself and putting myself down. Will do many things that you recommended; like throwing away some dried out flowers that I saved and also throwing some of the gifts he gave me that I still held on to for if "we ever got back together".

      Trying to hold on to someone is very had when a they want to do is walk away. Hope blocking him form all social media will help because -yes- im a stalker on his fb ;( so bad

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      Author

      Jennifer Gonzales 5 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hey Just a Guy, thank you for your comment. I agree with what you said that women and men both cheat however, most of the writers who dwell on this topic i presume, are women. That is why this article is written on a woman's point of view because this is my own personal account based on my experience. I cannot speak for men but i do believe that there are women out there who are actually much worse in terms of cheating than other men. Anyway, the tips i have given applies to everyone. It is not just for women out there but also for men who are also going through the same heartbreak.

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      5 months ago

      I recently had a breakup ..The boy was very sweet to me in the starting days of our relationship .But during the passage of time I realised that he was just pretending to be sweet to me for the past 2 years..He suddenly changed and behave as if he never knew who was I ..Morever he cheated me ..Which I came to know later ..N the worst part is that one my friend was with him knowingly that I was his girlfriend..Now a days it's difficult to trust anyone ...I was very much shattered after knowing all dis ..But after reading your article I also feel that it's better to move on..Rather than crying for a person who never truly cares for u..N I feel lucky that my family always stood by me n support me in every phase of my life..It's not easy to forget him because I genuinely loved him but at the same time I feel it's not impossible either..I just hope with the passing of days I will completely forget him ..

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      Just A Guy 5 months ago

      Interesting read. I am curious as to why most of the relationship guidance is based on the assumption that the guy was/is the bad/ negative party.Probably stating the obvious here but women are just as devious as men and shatter relationships as well. Women cheat just as much as men do and in some cases are more skilled in covering their tracks. The goal of this comment is not to bash women but to highlight the fact that we should approach this not from a perspective of sex/gender but more along the lines that humans i.e. men and women both screw relationships up and sometime women need to be forgotten as well.

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      Carly 5 months ago

      Me and my boyfriend broke up because he is going to be moving soon, but he didn't want to break up with me and while he told to my face that we had to break up he was crying and it was so sad, and we hugged for a while. But he said he wants to get back together even if he moves and don't get me wrong I really want him back because I cried every night because of how much I missed him and I even texted him a lot on my moms phone and face-timed him A lot and he says I love you and I miss you and it makes me so sad, what should I do?

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      Noah 5 months ago

      Thank you I appreciate the help you have given me

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      Siddharth 5 months ago

      Too good very inspirational

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      Shah 5 months ago

      It is very helpful to me.

      Thank you so much

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      Tess 5 months ago

      Thank you so much interedting about this article

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      Author

      Jennifer Gonzales 6 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hey Aradhna, the guy is certainly vulnerable emotionally because he is cheated on and it hurts. All you can do for him is to listen to his sentiments. It is best if you avoid physical intimacy with him while he is undergoing through that phase. You have feelings for him but he has feelings for someone else. So best to avoid the things that will hurt you in the future. :)

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      Aradhna singh 6 months ago

      I just liked all the tips but l want a favour from you dear l am in love with a guy who has been cheated by his ex gf too badly but after that also he has feelings for her although he knows that l love him he says me that he want to forget her ex but he find it too difficult and he ask me to help him . How can l help him? What can l do to help him

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      Precious Jewel 6 months ago

      Im so thankful that i read your article. ❤❤

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      the healing process 6 months ago

      Hello Jennifer,

      It really hurts, having recently experienced a break up. This article is very useful and I will definitely try to let out my emotions out but writing them down. I feel anger at myself and my ex but I want to let things out. Thank you so much for all the advice.

      God bless,

      Vero

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      sandy 6 months ago

      I was dating this guy I was really inlove with,I got to know later that he is still dating his ex so I back out but I still love him I have deleted his contacts but he calls or send a message once in a while n I reply, sometimes I get so emotional n I feel like calling or talking him and I also get the feeling he will come back one day but I was really hurt n heartbreaking,I want to forget about him,I want to stop loving him but I dont no how to. can u please help

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      ANA 6 months ago

      THANKS TO YOUR ARTICLE,.

      NOW I WILL TRY MY BEST TO FORGET MY STUPID EX

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      ALi Raza 6 months ago

      Thanks jennifer but its very difficult to accept the reality

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      Jeroentje 6 months ago

      Is it bad That I want here to see my photos and stuff so she will miss me and want me back?

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      Saba 6 months ago

      Thanks

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      Ajaz bhat 6 months ago

      Thanks for giving me the strength n confidence for forgetting her

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      ayaz 7 months ago

      i was haveing afairs with my gf more then 10 month but she cheated with me its very diffcult to forget for me i still love her even she cheated with me am feeling so painfull

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      Lara 7 months ago

      Awesome!

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      Author

      Jennifer Gonzales 7 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hello Rebecca, thanks for your comment. Working with your ex is indeed very difficult because you cannot avoid him in the workplace and you need to force yourself to be civil if ever you do meet him. If it is really unbearable for you and if it is possible to ask for a transfer to another department maybe you can give that a try. If not, then just pretend he doesn't exist...There aren't many options in your case...And you shouldn't leave your job just because of him either...Goodluck girl! Stay strong and you can do it!